Warnings: Lots of sex between two men. Affair. Cheating. If you see something else that you want warning for just tell me and I'll add it!
These last two chapters are not beta-ed so I hope I didn't mess up too much!
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And the story is over! I might come back and add more to it at some point in time, but as of right now it's over! I hope you all like it!
The blue-eyed man watched his lover as he awkwardly answered question after question about his lack of wedding ring. Well, he watched Buzz lie and stretch the truth about what had caused his upcoming divorce.
It had been two weeks since Buzz showed up at his door with his bags tears streaming down his face. That two weeks ended up being quite horrible for the both of them. And this was just the beginning.
Buzz wasn't acting like himself and Carlton felt like kicking himself for not realizing this would happen. He was too good of a person to be able to deal with the aftermath of what they had done.
Carlton's world had fallen apart when he was given the divorce papers and there were times when it still felt that way. That's not to say he wasn't over Victoria, but he had been in love her for so long.
The divorce had truly felt as if a part of his soul had been ripped out and the only thing he could think was that it was all his fault. He had driven the woman away because he had been so focused on his work.
It was difficult to admit, even to himself, that sometimes things didn't work out. He wanted to think that someone was to blame. That way there was some way to fix what ever it was that had fallen apart.
With him and Victoria it was simple. He was a dedicated police officer and that was not something she could deal with. The only solution would have been him leaving his job. Both of them knew that would never happen.
As had as it was it was best for them to split up. If they didn't then they'd both be miserable. The last thing that either of them would have wanted was to destroy the other because they were hurting.
He and Victoria had very much been in love. Buzz and Francine, on the other hand, were a different story. She had been in love with Buzz while he… He hadn't actually known what he was doing.
It was odd, but almost as if Buzz had both grown up too quickly and not grown up at all. Buzz had wanted to be an adult so badly that he had skipped a few steps ahead and missed some important lessons.
That was coming to bite him in the ass now. It made Carlton wonder if it wouldn't be for the best to take a step back and let the other man simply discover the world and himself outside of a relationship.
Then the older man thought that it was all his fault. Especially if he walked away. He would have caused the couple to break up and two hearts would have been broken. There was no reason for that.
That wasn't the only reason that he didn't want to walk away though. It was odd to think after all the time of pretending not to feel that it was in his heart again, but with each passing day with the other man it grew truer.
Carlton was beginning to fall in love with Buzz. Which was something that was scarier than anything that he had ever faced down. He couldn't run away from it though. He wanted it too much to do so.
Looking down at the clock he saw that it was around dinner time. He wouldn't have paid attention to that normally, but he had missed both breakfast and lunch. He was starving and people were avoiding him more than normal.
Grabbing his coat Carlton made his way down to the file room promising himself that after he was done he'd get food. Just a few more minutes. Maybe it could wait until he got home? That wasn't much time left on his shift.
Before he could think any further about it the door slammed behind him. He attempted to spin around to see what was happening only to be pushed into the cabinet. His mouth fell open in a gasp feeling a body pressed against him.
Instantly he knew that it was Buzz, but that knowledge made his heart speed up even more than before. Two weeks of no real touching was taking a toll on him. Especially knowing they shared the same bed.
Feeling the younger man rubbing slowly against him Carlton spun around so they were face to face. A soft, loving smile was on Buzz's lips as he reached up to straighten his lovers tie before stepping back.
"Buzz," Carlton said his voice firm, "We're at work."
"I know," Buzz agreed with a nod his hands still rubbing his chest, "I just… I saw you leave and you looked so sad. I wanted to make sure you're okay."
"I'm not the one that is being questioned about their divorce. Again."
Buzz shrugged slightly looking at the ground before clearing his throat. As odd as it sounded the two men had yet to talk about what had happened and how it changed things. It wasn't going to be a fun conversation.
"Can we..." Buzz tried to start.
"I still have two more hours before I can leave," Carlton shook his head.
"I know. I don't. I was thinking that I could go home… I mean, go to your house and make dinner. We could talk or something when you get off work?"
A thrill ran down Carlton's spine hearing Buzz accidentally refer to his house as home. It should be too soon for that in their relationship, especially with how up in the air everything was, but it was still a wonderful thing to hear.
Knowing that they didn't have much longer before someone came down Carlton leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the younger man's lips. It wasn't more than a peck, but he hoped it conveyed at least part of what he was feeling.
He pulled back almost instantly and looked at his lover. Buzz's eyes were shut, but there was a small smile on his lips. For a moment they were simply content to be standing there together. Carlton hoped that lasted.
"I should..." Buzz and Carlton spoke at the same time.
"I'm going to go start dinner," Buzz continued when Carlton motioned to him, "I'll see you soon."
The younger man offered one last smile before turning and leaving the room without another word. Carlton stood there a second longer trying to push his lover from his thoughts. He had a job to do and he had to be focused to do it.
By the time he got back to his desk Carlton was hoping that time would move faster. It was so odd to want to go home one time. To have a reason to go home. It had been so long since he had a reason to do much of anything.
That was part of the problem with everything that came with a new relationship. It made him want things that he wasn't sure he was completely ready for just yet; let alone things he was actually deserving of.
He wanted to turn and run away from everything. Take Buzz along with him to make sure that nothing bad happened to either of them. They'd be safe from whatever it was that happened to come across them.
It was a stupid thought to have. Both he and Buzz were trained police officers that knew how to take care of themselves. They had also pledged to lay down their lives to keep the rest of the world safe for civilians.
Carlton found himself wondering if this was what Victoria felt whenever he had left the house. It was a wonder that she had lasted as long as she had. Actually, it was a wonder any cop was married at all.
Shaking his head to knock the thoughts away Carlton looked at the clock on his computer. It was a few minutes past his normal leaving time. Sighing he saved whatever he needed to and left to go home.
By the time he got back to his house he felt like all he wanted to do was climb into bed and sleep. There was a warm dinner on the table though. He couldn't just walk away from that and waste all of Buzz's hard work.
"Hey," Buzz greeted with Carlton walked through to the kitchen.
"Hello," Carlton said back with a nod of his head.
"You look exhausted. Did something happen after I left?"
"No, I got caught up thinking."
The younger man nodded his head in understanding motioning towards the table. Seeing the food already set out for them Carlton sat down at the table. The men sat there silently for a moment before Buzz cleared his throat.
"I'm sorry," Buzz offered staring at his plate.
"For what?" Carlton questioned in confusion.
"For making a difficult situation even worse. I know this was hard to begin with before I told Francine. Now, though it is even worse."
Seeing how sad the younger man looked Carlton reached out and linked their hands together. Buzz looked so surprised that the older man felt his heart clench angrily. He never wanted to see that look in his eyes.
Ignoring the food Carlton stood up and forced Buzz to do the same before pulling him into his arms. Once they were standing he brought his young lover into a kiss hoping to drive away at least some of his worry.
A slightly calloused hand threaded through his hair holding him tightly as a tongue traced across his lips. Not wanting to fight it he opened his lips anchoring himself down by taking hold of the younger man's hips.
The kiss was slow and loving. Both men simply enjoying the feel of the other man. It was the type of kiss that lead to so much more, but for once Carlton truly didn't want to go any further. A simple little make-out session was all he really wanted right then.
Their tongues worked together drawing soft moans from them both. Carlton reached up and cradled the younger man's jaw. Pulling away Buzz ran his hands over Carlton's chest his own chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath once more.
"I missed that," Buzz muttered licking his lips.
"It's been awhile," Carlton agreed with a nod of his head his eyes darting over his lover, "It's fine. You needed time."
"What if I don't need anymore time? What if I'm finally figuring out that I'm where I want to be?"
The hazel eyes stared into blue hope shining bright in them. It brought a smile to Carlton's lips loving how wonderful Buzz looked. The fact that he was the person that was the cause behind that look made his heart soar.
"And where is that?" Carlton asked needing to know if they were on the same page.
"I was hoping right here would be a good place," Buzz offered with a blush, "I think that I could really be happy here."
"Could you? How do you know?"
Buzz stared into his lovers eyes knowing that his words weren't meant to hurt him. Carlton needed a reason to believe that they were doing all of this for their good. That in the end things were going to end up better than when they started.
"I know that this seems too soon," Buzz shrugged slightly, "But you do make me happy. Happier than I can ever remember. I think I'm actually starting to fall in love with you."
"You haven't even signed your divorce papers," Carlton countered not sure if he was ready to hear those words.
"It's different with you."
"How so? Buzz, this isn't..."
Buzz pulled Carlton into a kiss pouring everything he was into it. Words had never been enough to convince Carlton, but he needed to know that the younger man knew that he was telling the truth. He had to make him believe.
"You can do something that Francine… That no one has ever been able to do," Buzz spoke pulling away.
"And what's that?" Carlton asked softly.
"You can… Carlton, you could break my heart if you just turned away. That has never happened before. I always felt as if I was holding back in some way and I never knew why. Now I know. I was never in love with them. Not the way that I am with you."
Hearing the truth and yearning in the younger man's voice Carlton pulled Buzz into a hug. His heart pounded in his chest trying to figure out if the words were true. Oh, how he wished that the words were true.
Carlton could feel his lover shaking against him. His nails dug into the Detective's shirt holding him tightly against him. It was as if he was afraid that now that Carlton knew the truth he would reject him.
"Buzz," Carlton soothed rubbing his lover's back.
"Sorry," Buzz cleared his throat, "I've… I've been thinking about this for awhile. Since I came here. It's why I've been sort of distance. I needed to see if this was just for the sex and I know now that it's not."
"You figured all of that out in just two weeks?"
"I knew that I had to figure out the answer. The last thing I wanted was to have a repeat of what happened before. I want this to work out."
Nodding his head Carlton linked their hands together and stared at them. Buzz had obviously spent as much time thinking about their relationship as he had. It was a good thing to know that he was taking things seriously.
"There is a possibility that I'm falling for you as well," Carlton supplied after a pregnant pause.
"You are?" Buzz questioned with a wide grin.
"I am. I want to see where this goes, but..."
Before Carlton could finish his sentence strong arms pulled him close the other man's lips descending on his own. Gasping the older man latched tightly onto his lover and let himself get lost in the kiss.
"I hope that you believe me," Buzz muttered against his lover's lips, "Please tell me you believe me. That you're not going to walk away."
"I'm not," Carlton shook his head, "But it won't be easy for you."
"I don't care. I just want to know that this is it. We're in this together."
Smiling gently Carlton pressed their lips together once more before sitting at the table. The men ate the rest of their dinner in peace knowing that that might change at any moment. Now was simply a time to enjoy what they had discovered.
