AN: I said it would be a while before "Calzona" but I promise it'll be worth the wait. I will be adding 3 more chapters today because I am going to be very busy the coming weeks at work. So don't expect and update for a few weeks.
Disclaimer: I am only borrowing the characters from Grey's Anatomy!
Chapter 5 - G.I. Barbie
"Sleep alright Cal?" Addison was sitting at the kitchen table, mug of coffee in one hand, newspaper in the other. "Coffee's fresh, and again, help yourself to some food."
"I slept well. And thank you." She grabbed a mug and sat across from Addison.
"So, did you hear Hurricane Grey last night?" She laughed lightly.
"Actually, I did, but I just shut my door. I did however see the overturned furniture, and decorations all over the hallway." Callie had a irritated tone in her voice.
Not that she was mad, but it was not how she wanted to spend her first day at her new home.
"MM, yeah. Well, we have this mutual agreement." Addison dropped the paper to look at Callie's face. "It's as such: we already know we're going to have sex, just keep it, or try to keep it in the bedroom. Replace anything you break along the way. And ALWAYS clean up your mess." She studied the Latina's face for a reaction. Nothing.
"SO, I've moved into a fucking brothel, Ads?" The attitude apparent in each word.
"HA, I wish! Then that would mean we would ALL be having sex." Addison returned to her newspaper. "You know, I've gone through a Costco size pack of batteries Callie. A COSTCO sized. I didn't even know that was possible."
"Addison, please, for the love of god and this coffee I am about to vomit. Do not tell me about your vibrators." Callie was holding her head up with both palms, nodding 'No'.
"Seriously, Cal. I need to get laid. Ever since I left Rich, I'm like a nun. It's been almost two months. It's unnatural."
"What's unnatural is the fact you've vibrated through an entire 100 pack of batteries." She giggled to herself
"It was NOT 100, I think it was 96, the POINT" She lifted her index finger to Callie, "Is, the point" now waving it in front of her face, "Is, is that we need to get laid."
"No, no, no. I need to become a nun. I cannot chase away anyone else or get married or fall in love or get involved. No. I think a celibacy stint will help me right now."
"Please, you're a sex enthusiast Callie. At least people want to have sex with you."
"And then they run away or cheat" She started to laugh morbidly. "I'd rather have nothing."
"Well, I will gladly change places Ms. Torres."
Before their conversation continued, a bang came from the other room.
"SON OF A…OWWCH"
Addison dropped the paper and her mouth was making an 'O' shape and her eyebrows were high, as if she knew something juicy had just happened.
"What is it Ads? Clearly Mere-" She was cut off.
"That was not Meredith. THAT, was another woman. In Meredith's room. Right now. Another. Woman."
"And?" Callie didn't catch on to Addison's devilish grin.
"She's not gay, not curious, not anything but 'Strictly Dickly'. She's never been with a woman. Ever."
For whatever reason, this made Addison giddy, like a kid pulling a prank off on their parents giddy.
"Okay, people change, whatever. Sex is sex Addison." Callie didn't care. Sex was just sex in her mind. Man or woman, it was just what people did.
"It's not that Cal, but we get to see the walk of shame and poke fun at her. This is pure EVIL!" She slapped her hand on the kitchen table. "I owe her anyway. She ate my left over chicken cutlets and no one messes with my food."
Whatever you say Addison.
They heard inaudible voices from the bedroom, and peered into the hallway to catch a glimpse of this mysterious woman. The only woman Meredith Grey has ever bedded.
Then the door opened and out stumbled a very flustered looking blonde followed by a very, very hung over Meredith.
"MER! It is such a pleasure for you to bring your sleepover friend to breakfast. I was just about to make breakfast when – What the FUCK happened to your body?" Addison began making headway towards Mer.
Meredith was wearing a skimpy tank top with no bra, cotton panties and that was it. Her hair was in a messy looking sex bun, and her mysterious lover looked the same. Only she was sporting a pair of old looking basketball shorts.
Neither of the two impulsive mistresses knew what marks they left behind from the nights festivities.
Meredith's room was 15 feet from the front door, 15 feet from salvation, 15 feet until Arizona could sprint home and wash the sex off of her. However, 15 feet was too long a walk and a boisterous red head beat them to it.
FUCK Robbins, FUCK. FUCK. WHY did you fall asleep? Now you're fucking stuck, covered in hickeys and sex wounds. And NOW you're going to be interrogated by the fucking Little Mermaid. AWESOME
"What the hell did you.." Addison was examining Meredith as if she was a child with chicken pox. Her face was covered in disgust "..did you do?"
"Addison, please, grow the hell up. Sex. It's what we did. Okay? Can we just-"
"Uh NO, your back looks like it's been mauled by a bear, you have hickeys the size of sand dollars on your chest, and you're still drunk."
"AND you're NOT my mother. Please – just,"
Arizona kept her focus on the ground, forward, towards the door anything to avoid the flaming red head's queries. However that wasn't slick enough.
"YOU!" She pointed firmly at the blonde who she stood in front of. "You're GI Barbie!"
Arizona whipped her head up, she loathed being called GI Barbie.
"DO NOT! Call me GI Barbie." Meeting Addison's extended index with her own. "Now if you would PLEASE let me see myself out that would be GREAT!" The irritation was boiling from her pores. Who the hell is this carrot top to tell me what I am and when I can leave?
"WAIT, don't you dare go. I thought you were engaged! And here you are, SLEEPING with my STRAIGHT roommate! Callie, isn't she engaged!? What kind of MONSTER cheats on their fiancé?"
Before Arizona could defend herself, there she was. The woman from the airport. Standing before her. Just as beautiful, but oh god was she fuming. Fuck Robbins, you fucked this up.
"Yeah, actually." Callie stated raising an eyebrow, now she was just plain curious, "I saw you. In the airport actually, Richmond, last night. And you had a ring on. A very flattering, engagement ring on." She elaborated engagement and furrowed her brows.
God those chocolate eyes are gorgeous.
She lifted up her left hand "See, no ring clearly this is a misunderstanding, so now can I pl-"
Meredith jumped in, "Uh, well see, about that. I'd hate to be the tattle-tail, but I am NO home wrecker. It's on your dog tags." Meredith shifted her position so that she was facing all three women and folded her arms behind her back. Shrugging her shoulders in response to the blondes agape mouth, "I-I saw it, when I took off your shirt. I didn't think much of it because it was on your dog tags."
"And you SHOULDN'T. And neither should ANY of you." Arizona began waving her finger at all of them. "I am NOT engaged and if I was that's MY business." She was at her tipping point. The tension could be cut with a butter knife at this point.
"It still doesn't explain the reason for it going from finger to necklace." It wasn't a question it was a statement, she paused to let it sink into the blonde. "but that's NONE of MY business." Callie wasn't sure how she felt. Angry? Jealous? Annoyed? Depressed? She didn't care to know what the blonde had to say. She turned on her heel and headed for her room without saying anything else. Obviously Callie, you WOULD like the cheating, easy drunk woman. Obviously.
Way to go Robbins.
Sensing a shift in energy Meredith faced her mistress. "Listen, it was a pleasure meeting you Arizona. I'm sorry about all of this. I'll see you around" Meredith placed a peck on the officer's cheek and led her out of the house. As soon as she shut the door, 21 questions commenced.
"Before you interrogate me Adds, please, I need coffee".
The two women went to the kitchen and Addison let her roommate enjoy the first sip of liquid bliss.
"So, how's it feel to be a home wrecker?" Addison spat. She normally didn't care who Meredith slept with, but this annoyed her. She was wearing it on her chest and back and the woman she slept with was engaged. That was not right. Moreover, the woman put a trance over an already heart broken Callie and that just sucked.
"Actually, I bet she has good reason for doing what she did last night." Mer stated flatly. "You know, it wasn't just sex that we had last night and I needed to do that. She needed to do that too."
"So, then what's the deal with Dr. Brain?" Addison did not waste time, ever.
"He's actually in town for a huge consult, some politician has a brain tumor. Anyways, I met him last night at this dive bar and he was being a total ass towards me. Saying how 'We should see other people, and he's too old for a youngin' like me'. All this garbage. SO I said 'Go, find another one like me'." She waved her hand up, replaying last night's motions.
"And the moment I do that, in walks blondie. All high and mighty in that military uniform." Meredith pauses, and smiles lightly. "I told Derek, 'try and get her, I bet you won't be able too'. I was pissed at this point because everything in our relationship was so nice and easy, the perfect little bubble. We had our thing when we needed it, but separate lives too. It was the perfect balance."
Addison nods and pushes her to continue the story.
"Being the cocky big shot he is, he ACTUALLY hit on her. Tried dancing with her too. When she was with another guy who was clearly more interested in Derek than Arizona. I knew she was gay, practically oozing rainbows. So I took it as an opportunity to show Derek up."
"You used Arizona to get back at Derek for breaking up with you, and in turn, waved the piece of ass he couldn't score because she was gay and as an added bonus gorgeous?" Meredith nodded sullenly. "And by doing this, you showed Derek you're a great catch, and he could be just as easily replaced by a woman?"
"Hmm, something like that. I just really wanted to hit his ego. And by taking home the woman who rejected him, well that would put the cherry on top of the cake."
"Well, are you gay now?"
"Haha, god NO! Not saying it was bad at all, I mean I look like I've actually been attacked by a bear. But it was incredible. Mind blowing."
"Well, you should probably shower, and clean the house. Also, formally meet Callie."
Addison left Meredith at the table to see how Callie was. Not even 24 hours here and there was a potential for roommate drama. Addison needed to spear head the issue before it snowballed.
She knew that her friend had a primal attraction to this blonde based on her reaction in the airport.
But did she ever think she would see her beyond that missed connection? Did she ever think that Meredith would go gay? Did she ever think Meredith and GI Barbie would go gay together?
Nope...hell fucking no...and absolutely fucking no way.
Thanks for reading !
