I let Tamlin come into the room that night. As soon as Jurian and the King had left the court, I had winnowed to my art studio to practice my magic. It was only there where Tamlin actually knocked on the door and respected the fact that it was my territory, which was good as it gave me precious time to act normal, like I was painting.
Practicing was dangerous, of course, but there had to be a release on my powers, like Rhys, or they could cloud my mind and slowly eat away at it, leaving me crazed.
"How are you doing?" Tamlin asked me, closing the door quietly behind him.
"I don't know," I told him truthfully, "Is it true? Am I really going to go with Jurian to the wall tomorrow?"
He knelt before me. "Yes, I am so sorry, I had no choice."
Too damn late for sorries, Tamlin. Keeping my composture, I replied, "It's alright. The King had to collect one way or another. And you got me back from-there, so it's alright."
At the mention of the Night Court, Tamlin stiffened. He looked up at me and said, "I know it's already been a week, but-"
"You want me to repeat to you what happened to me there, don't you?" I asked.
"I need aa refresher," he said, standing up and sitting next to me on the bed.
So I told him everything once more, leaving out Velaris, relationships in Rhys's inner circle, Rhys's capture, the inn, and cabin, and told him the things he expected to hear, for example, the Night Court.
Tamlin shuddered and pulled me close to him as I recounted the events. When I finished, we were silent for a while.
"I'm sorry I didn't come get you sooner."
Hiding my disgust, I leaned into him, placing my head on his shoulder. "At least you did get me out of the Night Court in the end." When I didn't want to, I might add.
A low chuckle resounded in my mind.
"Feyre…" Tamlin breathed, turning his face so he faced me.
Shit. I had managed to get Tamlin off my back from moving on me as I had used getting back from Rhys as an excuse so I wouldn't have to deal with him and his lust.
Keeping my calm, I turned to face him and said, "What?"
Confusion flickered in his face for a moment but soon disappeared. He started to lean in and so I reached out with my claws, stroking past his mental shields and attacking his mind. I placed images of what he wanted to do to me in there, feeling even more disgusted about him as the sickening thoughts flitted from my mind and into his. I then rendered him unconscious and pushed him so he now laid on the bed.
Keeping my eyes away from his sleeping body, I snapped my fingers, covering his body with the blanket and another snap caused his clothes to be torn apart from his body, which I flung on the other side of the room. Something told me I would not be able to sleep that night, at least not next to his stark, naked body.
The next morning, the King was true to his words. Jurian awaited me below the stairs, cocking his head when he saw the dress I had on.
"Tsk, tsk," he muttered, "Hasn't your husband to be ever told you never to wear a dress when you want to get your hands dirty?"
With a wave of his hands, the dress I had on changed to a leather outfit which reminded me of the Illyrian fighting gear Rhys had once adorned me with. I scowled at Jurian and he merely grinned. "Come on," He said, reaching out a hand to me.
Tamlin's voice appeared behind me. "If you touch a hair on her head-"
Jurian's eyes widened at the sight of Tamlin, at god knows what. "You'll what?" He interrupted, "Cut me into pieces with those claws of yours? We both know how much the King would like that, don't you?"
"Hiding behind the King's protection? Not so manly, are you?" I cut in.
Jurian grinned once more at my outspoken words and I took his hand. He winnowed us to the edge of the forest, near where the wall was. I fidgeted, uncomfortable with how Jurian was looking at me like I was something to be used and forgotten.
Neither, Feyre darling.
I hid a smile at Rhys's voice.
"So, tell me, child of the seven courts, other than the Autumn Court's flames, what else do you have to offer?"
I shrugged my shoulders, reaching out to Rhys for comfort. His voice came to me and I almost sagged in relief.
Are you okay?
A bit better seeing that now you're here.
What does Jurian want from you?
I could almost hear his growl.
I thought you would know.
His mind shields are very strong, it would be difficult getting past them without him noticing.
"Feyre," Jurian called out, "You seem distracted. Talking to anyone in particular? An imaginary friend?"
My heart skipped a beat. I eyed him. "Why would you say that?"
"I don't know, why do you think I said that?"
He's a bit like you, Rhys.
I'd appreciate it if you never made that comparison ever again.
"Anyway, would you mind showing me that little mind trick of yours?"
At that, I froze.
"Please. I could sense the violation in Tamlin's mind. Makes me wonder. If you love him, would you do such a thing? Or maybe you really are scarred from the Night Court and couldn't stand to turn him down one night. The King thinks it's the latter by the way."
At the look of shock on my face, he laughed. "Yes, the King does know," He winnowed in front of me, lifting my chin up so his eyes could pierce into my soul, "You can't hide every delicacy about you from me, Feyre. Now show me."
So I did, but only because it would be better than further denying it. He made me try to use other courts' magic but I hid them all and appeared tired of him at the end of it. Only Rhys in my head truly kept me from choking that bastard alive with all the powers of the seven courts that he so desperately wanted to see.
When I got back, it was nearly evening. I was famished. I was half tempted to starve away in my room than eat with Tamlin but-
You better not.
I scowled.
I was just going to say BUT you would most probably be the sad little puppy again if I wasted away.
I felt his smile and hesitation.
What is it?
I don't want to act too controlling, darling, but you know I can't stand to see you ruining yourself.
I know, and you don't have to apologize. I understand.
I felt his relief-with some bits of mischief.
Next time Feyre, I'll apologize to you with my tongue, lips, and teeth.
Heat rose in me.
Suddenly, a huge weight came down on me.
"Feyre!" It was Tamlin, crushing me with those beastly arms of his.
I saw Lucien at the side, looking rather sympathetic to the position I was in now.
"I'm alright, Tamlin," I said, pulling away from him.
"Did he do anything to hurt you?" He asked, looking me up and down. Not any more hurt than what you caused me when you took me away from my mate.
"No, it was alright. Considering that he was basically a psycho and I survived, I think I'm good."
"Okay. Okay." He breathed out a sigh of relief like he was glad that I wasn't going to break in his arms if I had given him a wrong answer.
"Tamlin? Can I talk with Feyre for a second?" Lucien interrupted.
"Whatever you have to say to her you can't say in front of me?" Tamlin growled.
There he was, the true monster lurking beneath the mask. Lucien could sense it too and he looked a little taken aback. I placed a hand on Tamlin's arm, looking as if I was calming him down.
"Tamlin. What he needs to say to me is probably important." I murmured.
"I'm his High Lord. And yours too. That important thing probably concerns us all." He turned to face me.
I cringed inwardly when he said that he was my High Lord. Oh if only he knew. "Please, Tamlin." I hated pleading.
He took a while to soften. "Alright, okay. I'll be in the dining room, okay? Shout out if you need me."
Like I couldn't take care of myself. "Okay."
He left-slowly, and I walked over to Lucien.
"So what is it you wanted to talk to me about?" I asked.
"Can we go somewhere more private?"
"Yeah, sure."
He took my hand and winnowed us to the garden.
I breathed in the fresh air, looking around me. This patch of beauty in the Spring Court still survived and lived through everything. I smiled to myself. It deserved to survive.
"You sure Tamlin won't mind us being out here?" I asked.
"You look like you need the change in surroundings." He merely replied.
I nodded. "I do."
Well, at least he understood that. I don't think he forgot what I had said to him that day in the forest, that he had given up. I didn't regret telling him that, or the way he had felt afterward. What I did regret was losing the vision of the boy that was my sister's mate. I felt like the previous me, the human me, would have immediately envisioned them together, and that they were perfect together. A part of me now does think that, but I couldn't exactly imagine them fitting together once they saw each other.
"Feyre, do you think Rhysand would hurt Elain?" Lucien blurted out.
Oh. So this wasn't about his suspicions about me.
"I think that if he did, Nesta would probably chop his balls off," I told him truthfully.
"But what about Elain? From what you've told me, you make her seem…"
"What, weak? She's anything but that. She was the stronger one out of the three of us; she always had hope for anything or anywhere we lived in. Remember the cabin Tamlin broke through to get me to come here the first time? I always looked at it with hatred, like it was something that had to be destroyed. She never stopped looking at it with hope, that it was the home she deserved when she deserved so much more." I told him.
He was quiet for a while, then said, "Well I was going to say fragile but that works too."
I smiled.
"Feyre. Listen, I-" He sat down on one of the benches and patted the seat next to him. I sat down, "How did you get free of Rhys?"
I could once more hear the suspicion in his voice. I sighed. "Lucien, I think I told you a million times-"
"And yet I don't hear the truth in it. Tamlin always tells me to back down and I do, but I still can't shake the feeling that there's something you're not telling us. I may have a lack of an eye but that doesn't mean I see things differently. Well maybe by angle differently, but you get what I mean."
"No, I don't. I'm sorry Lucien, but if this is everything you want to say to me, I think I'm going to head back in," I said, starting to stand up.
"No, wait!" He said, grabbing my arm, the arm that had the glamour on.
It surprised me that he would be that desperate to grab my arm but it worked slightly in his favor. The glamour I had on flickered for a moment as I was unprepared and Lucien could see a glimpse of the tattoo lingering there before it was gone in the blink of an eye.
He let go of my arm, mouth gaping and shaking his head as if he could erase what he just saw. I was determined to erase it from his mind, all right, but Rhys stopped me.
Wait, Feyre. Don't erase it from his mind. If anyone can be of any help to you in the Spring Court, it would be Lucien, what with Elain as his mate and all.
And so I didn't erase the memory from his mind. I instead tried to lie out of it.
"What is it, Lucien? What did you see?" I asked.
"Your arm-I saw a tattoo on your arm-but-"Lucien spluttered.
"What?" I faked surprise, looking down at my arm. Of course, there would be nothing on it now but I still had to act like I didn't know what he was talking about.
"Please, Feyre," He stood up now, looking me straight in the eye. "Something's not right, I can feel it. First, that day in the forest where you talked like yourself and not like you were being controlled, Rhys's scent on you that day at Hybern and how you two acted towards each other, and you weren't even afraid for your sisters' lives when he took them. And now this? Feyre, you can drop the act."
I took a breath, about to steer the conversation away from the truth but Rhys stopped me again.
You should tell him the truth.
What? No! He could report back to Tamlin and we would be done for.
I don't think he would.
Are you sure?
Yes.
"Lucien," I started.
"Yes?" He asked, waiting expectantly for an answer.
So, with a deep breath, I revealed my wings to him, the dark form of them spreading through the night. I then released the glamour on myself and appeared to him in my High Lady form.
He gaped at me and actually stumbled backward. Suddenly aware of how exposed I was, I immediately placed the glamour back on myself.
"You-you… Your mind wasn't taken over by him when you were there?" He asked slowly.
"No, no. My mind never was." I walked closer to him.
He didn't back away, which I thought was a good sign. I reached out my right arm and removed the glamour on it, revealing the tattoo that symbolized that I was the High Lady of the Night Court.
Now Lucien was confused. "I thought the King had broken the bond-or bargain- between you and Rhysand."
I scoffed. "Please. You can never break such a bond like that. I mean, you can if you kill one of us. This tattoo doesn't just mean the bond or bargain, it means that I am High Lady of the Night Court. And please don't say that there's no such thing, there is now unless you've been too affected by Tamlin's words that you no longer believe in what I say."
Lucien shook his head. "No, I believe you. Rhysand-is he truly not that beast everyone thinks he is?"
My heart tightened at the words that Rhys was a monster. But that was what everyone expected, that was the mask Rhys put on every single day to protect what he loved, and I loved him for that.
"No, he's not. He is one of the best people I have ever met in my entire life and I am glad and honored to be called his mate and his equal. So that's why you have nothing to worry about with Elain in his care. I would trust him with everything I had."
I assured him, "But can I trust you not to tell Tamlin? Can I trust you to be my friend and keep this from him?"
He gulped. "Tamlin is my High Lord, and to keep this from him would be really disrespectful but…"
"You don't owe him anything, Lucien. You've served him for far too long, you've endured trips back to the place you once called home but is now in your nightmares. You have the right to choose now Lucien." I told him.
He sighed. "I'm going to hell for this. Of course, I won't tell on you, Feyre. I'm not sentencing you to betrayal and nightmares again," Then his eyes widened, "Oh shit, speaking of betrayal. I am so terribly sorry I tried to force you to come back, the Spring Court was in ruins and I had no idea Rhysand didn't have his claws in your mind, well maybe I had a bit of an idea, but nevermind. Tamlin wanted me to get you back and so I did because he's my High Lord and I had no idea-"
"Shh…" I almost wanted to laugh. His traits did fit in with Elain's, "You didn't know. I get it. And I understand. But if you want to truly make it up to me, I need your help."
Lucien stiffened. "To do what? Because if it's to destroy this court like you said that night I'm not sure I can help you with that."
Tell him we just need his help to get you out and to stop Hybern from breaking down the wall.
"No, nothing like that we just need your help in well, getting me out of here, for starters, and then stopping Hybern from bringing down the wall."
"We? As in, you, Rhysand and what? Other members of his court?"
"Something like that. So will you?" I asked him one last time.
"Stopping Hybern will be difficult. He has eyes and ears everywhere, especially in this court. So you'll definitely need my help. The last thing anyone wants is for the wall to be brought down, except for Tamlin. The human world should be left out of this," He said.
I smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you, Lucien."
He grinned back, "One last thing. Can you fly with those wings?"
My laugh matched Rhys's, vibrant and beautiful.
