AN: Thank you again for the reviews, I appreciate them tremendously!
Chapter 24 - Let it Out
"Hey Nick! What are you doing?"
"Nothing little girls like you would be interested in Arizona, we're building a ramp to jump our bikes off of. Why don't you go read one of your nerd books and let us guys hang in peace."
"Yeah, go away Arizona, Tim doesn't need you here. It guys only."
The teen scrunched up her face and stuck her tongue out at her brother's less than admirable friends. It was a pretty crappy time for the thirteen year old girl; being stuck between her brother's shadow and the caddy girls in her new school. Life sucked. They just moved to Texas from Germany, and to say it was a culture shock was putting it lightly.
Tim was halfway down the block and racing his bike back and forth down their dead end street. He skidded his bike in front of his sister, "Hey sis', how was your afterschool club thing?"
"Good, and stop messing with my hair!" Tim relentlessly was always tussling her blonde locks just to get a rise out of his sister. It had been going on since they were infants, and Arizona had a feeling it'd never stop.
"Wanna see me crush this whimpy ramp these dorks put together?" Tim was never a show off but he also never backed down from a challenge.
The ramp was haphazard at best; the mismatch pieces of one by twos, two by fours, street signs, and rotting plywood all screamed accident waiting to happen. Objection was out of the question, Tim already sped off once he got the verbal okay from Nick and Troy that the ramp was more than ready.
Snapping on the helmet, he rode down the street on his BMX bike.
"I bet you my lunch money for an entire week he backs down."
"You're on Troy, Timmy won't back down. He'll do it. Come on Tim! Show us what you got!" Nick shouted at his buddy nearly half a block away.
Arizona stood on the side, silently hoping, no begging, that nothing would happen. Keeping her fingers crossed as she watched Tim peddling towards the ramp. Pumping his legs as hard and fast as he could. For a brief moment, it looked like he was going to make it.
"Go Tim! Go!" His friends shouted from the curb.
He had the right amount of speed and momentum, everything was perfect. However, the moment his front tire hit that ramp, it completely collapsed around him.
Arizona wanted to look away but she couldn't. The sound of wood snapping and crunching. The front tire went completely through the rotting plywood; folding under the brute force and velocity. The entire frame of the ramp began to swallow Tim whole. Splitters of wood and nails where all that was left of the ramp. His body emerged briefly, only to be smacked by a two by four square in the face. Horrific sounds of bones breaking following the sounds of wood snapping like a twig from Tim's mass. The screaming that ended the moment the limp teen fell to the ground. Lifeless.
She couldn't scream. All the air had be sucked out of her. Was her brother dead? Limp on the pavement, she sprinted to his side. The boy didn't move or stir, he was out cold. Blood began to pour from his nose, head and lips. The air came back, she screamed, "GET HELP! HELP! CALL FOR HELP!"
Nick and Troy ran to a neighbor's house, Mrs. Cranston, who fortunately was a nurse.
Arizona never felt more helpless in that brief moment. She begged Tim to wake up. "Tim please, wake up, please. Dad is going to kill us. Please Tim." Tears began streaming down her face, her brother was dead, he was dead, and all Arizona could think of was that it was her fault. "HELP!" Her crying soon became out of control, she couldn't breathe anymore.
"T-T-Tim, pleasseee, wake, wake up!" She didn't attempt to touch the motionless body below her, she was too afraid. "Please, I love you. Please"
"ARIZONA!" Mrs. Cranston was sprinting over with her first aid kit.
She finally broke gaze from her bleeding brother and looked up to see the frantic woman heading towards her. She was speaking, but Arizona couldn't understand what she was saying. It almost looked like she was running in place, she was. In fact, she was getting farther and farther away. The voice became more and more faint, and Arizona realized what was happening.
Looking down to her brother once more, he was no longer a 13 year old boy, he was an adult. Drabbed in his desert camouflage, bleeding profusely from his head, laying in the dirt. Still unconscious, Arizona tried screaming again, only her voice was mute. Her body was weighed down something inhumane, she couldn't speak. Gasping for breath, she reached out to grab her brother in an attempt to shake him awake.
It took nearly all of her strength to grab onto Tim's uniform. The moment her fingertips grazed the collars, Tim's eyes broke open, and so did Arizona's.
Her whole body thudded against a mattress.
"It was just a dream." She tried to even her breathing out, and ran her hand through sweaty blonde locks, "Just a dream." Looking to her left, she was happy her nightmare didn't wake her girlfriend. Swinging her legs to the side of the bed she headed towards her bathroom.
A cold stream of water began to flow from the faucet. Her hands where perched against either side of the sink, she rinsed her face thoroughly. The harsh cold water was refreshing, it reminded her she was alive.
It was almost four AM, but she needed someone to talk to. Her mind wasn't ready to forgo the vivid images of her dream just yet. Unable to find the strength to wake up the peacefully sleeping Latina she opted to phone a friend. Flipping through her contacts, she texted the one person who she knew would always be awake or easily woken up.
A: Hey, I know it's late/early, are you up?
G: I am now, what's up? Need a late night booty call? Something happen?
Arizona felt slightly at ease now. Granted G would always get up the moment her phone rung, which was the nature of her job. She'd always say, 'People don't die from 9-5 unfortunately.' Thinking over what she wanted to say, and just how to say it, she figured it was best said in person. Another buzz of her cell broke the train of thought
G: Battleship? What's wrong?
A: Nothing, I just, this is something better discussed in person. Tomorrow, before we run errands?
G: No problem, come by my house early
A: Thx J
G: What are friends for! Get some sleep Battleship
The brief conversation settled her nerves enough. Knowing she had the support system of her best friend again was comforting. She still couldn't believe she almost threw it all away for a woman, never again, she thought to herself.
Sneaking from the confines of the bathroom, Arizona shimmied back under the covers, next to her girlfriend. The woman settled comfortably back into her spot. Unknowingly, Calliope reached a sleepy arm out and pulled Arizona into her embrace and latched onto the blonde. If there was any doubt in her mind she wouldn't be able to sleep again, it was all vanquished. Feeling the body heat of her lover soothed her achy soul. Hearing the light snores played a lullaby that whisked her off into a more pleasant dream land.
XXX
Beeping from the Navy issued watch hung in the room until the slumbering blonde awoke to silent the noise. Stretching her arms out and wiping the sleep from her eyes, she rolled over to the peacefully snoring Calliope.
Peppering kisses on the plump lips, up her jaw and just below an ear lobe, she husked, "Good morning sleepy head." Continuing her assault on a tan ear, she graze the flesh ever so lightly with her teeth in an effort to wake the Latina up. "Mm, someone is sleepy."
Callie began to stir. "Arghh, no-no-no. Sleep. Please!"
Arizona couldn't help but giggle at the sleep laden voice of her girlfriend. "I wish I could spend all day with you in bed."
Callie turned to face her girlfriend, with hooded eyes, "Really? Because I'd prefer to do that, too." Kissing the blonde's lips lightly, "Good morning beautiful."
Reciprocating the kiss back, "Good morning gorgeous. How are you feeling today?"
Stretching out her limbs, and letting in a deep yawn, "Better, much better. Thank you." Smiling brightly at her girlfriend.
"Calliope, you don't ever have to thank me for anything. Come on, we have to get up." Arizona turned to face her girlfriend, "Up!"
Callie whipped the duvet over her head, "No, don't make me go."
"You have to get that butt to work!" Arizona propped herself up on an elbow and was looking down at Callie, "Seriously, I'd love to stay in bed with you but I have 100s errands to run today and you have bones to break and mend."
Arizona hopped out of bed and towards the bathroom to start getting ready for her long day. She was due at G's house in an hour, then they had to head to the Army/Navy store. Being that G was heading out for training, she needed new body armor and suggested to both Teddy and Arizona that they invest in body specific armor. Despite the times, finding body armor that properly fit a women's physic was difficult. Damned boobs. After that, they were going to the shooting range, then participating in a three hour training course. Once all of this was done, and if Arizona wasn't a steaming pile of flesh by the end of her workout, she had laundry to do and had to pick up her uniform from the cleaners.
So much for a day off.
She slipped into her navy-issued camouflage bottoms, black combat boots, and opted for her navy compression t-shirt which snuggled fitted her torso. Two silver dog tags hung between her breasts. Stepping out of the restroom, she grabbed her jacket and hat from the back of her door, completely unaware of the woman practically drooling behind her.
If camouflage wasn't sexy before, it was now the sexiest thing Callie ever laid eyes on. Whether or not Arizona knew it, her ass looked amazing in those fatigues. The way her subtly toned abs and back bore through that compression shirt, Callie could feel her arousal peaking. Arizona was the steak and Callie was hungry animal on the other end.
"You know, I can feel you staring at me Calliope." She giggled
"Um,-ah no. I am not staring."
"Okay, then what do you call it then Calliope?" She turned to face the taller woman, who was now standing at the edge of the bed.
"I call it checking you out. Because I swear, this uniform is going to be the death of me. You, Arizona Robbins, are the sexiest thing I've ever laid eyes on."
"Really? Because that can't be possible when you, Calliope Torres, are the sexiest one in this room, in the whole world." Stepping towards her girlfriend to close the gap between them. "I am pretty sure you are going to be the death of me."
Callie cocked her head to the side and smiled seductively. Reaching out with her hand, she traced the chain of Arizona's dog tag, which was hanging above her supple breasts. Lightly grazing the breasts she wrapped the chain and dog tags in her hand and pulled the blonde closer to her.
Arizona resisted, ever so slightly, to force Callie a bit more. It turned her on more than anything; seeing the caramel digits wrapped around her tags, pulling her into embrace. Her heart skipped a beat once their bodies were flush. They lightly nudged and teased one another's lips; rubbing the tip of a nose against soft skin, hot breathes sending chills down their spines.
Arizona wrapped her hands around Callie's waist, and pulled back slightly to see the darken eyes filled with longing. "Kiss me, Calliope."
Initially, it was light and fluffy, only increasing the sexual tension between the two women. A break was made and a breath was taken only to be muffled by a second scorching kiss. Two tongues danced somewhere in the middle, while eager hands searched for more leverage. Arizona kept a grip on a prominent hip, dipping her thumb under a waist band, and massaging the area. Dangerously dipping to Callie's pubic area every third stroke.
Callie moaned lightly. She released her grip on the stainless steel tags and traced the same hand against her chest. Letting it rest that porcelain face in attempt to control her dominate lover. Taking her only free hand to even the field, she grabbed a handful of a beautiful blonde's butt cheek.
Arizona moaned but it was swallowed by Callie. Her tongue eagerly entered the blonde's mouth, skillfully swirling patterns against the trembling muscle. If her eyes were open, they for sure would have rolled to the back of her head with all the techniques Callie's tongue was displaying on her own. She was desperate to take it a step further.
Lightly leaning back into Callie, she lead the brunette onto her bed again, were she was on top straddling those curvy hips. She broke the fervent making out session to look back into those mocha pools she was falling for faster every day.
Feeling the blonde on top of her provided Callie with a whole different set of emotions – both physical and emotion. The desire embedded within the cerulean irises made her heart flutter in a way no one else has caused. She was falling just as fast. They didn't speak or kiss, but simply regarded at one another. Their expressive eyes were laying the foundation in which their physical bodies would build on. She brushed a blonde lock behind the shell of her ear and could feel the electricity moving through their bodies.
She knew if she kissed that brunette below her one more time she would pop; she would spend her entire day worshiping the goddess below her. Callie knew Arizona was coming undone simply by the way she breathing so heavily. Their lips were nearly centimeters apart; their cores were begging for release. All too soon, their bubble of intimacy blew up.
*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*
Arizona sat back on her heels, secretly cursing the damn pager. Callie reached over, "Great, 9-1-1 to pit. Awesome." She sarcastically spewed out.
Hopping off of Callie she allowed her to get ready for her day at the hospital. "Don't be upset honey. You were due in at 8AM and it's only 7. Besides, I would like to take my time – if you know what I mean." She suggestively wiggled her hips and eyebrows.
Callie couldn't help but laugh at her dorky girlfriend and attempt at being sexy, "You are adorable Arizona. And, okay, but the wait better be worth it."
"Adorable?! That's what you call kittens, or babies. I am a bad ass, sexy, naval surgeon. You said so yourself!"
"I take it back, you, Arizona, are the most adorable, cutest woman I've ever laid eyes on." And with that, she slide into the bathroom.
She grumbled to herself, adorable, yeah right.
XXX
Ringing the doorbell of G's home caused the excessively energetic German Shepard Tyson to bark and yelp uncontrollably. She could her G yelling at the hound in German to what she guessed was 'Shut-up', she opened the door and let her in. "What some coffee?"
Arizona had yet to go back to G's house in quite some time, it's actually been years. Once the living quarters for not only herself, but Teddy, Tim, and G's cousin Angelo. They were every sort of dysfunctional but it was probably one of the most exciting households she'd ever live in. Everything still looked the same, still smelled the same too. She bet herself that half of her medical school books, clothes, and miscellaneous things were still in her old room.
Handing her a cup of French pressed brew, overly sweetened, just how Arizona always took her coffee, she glowered at the woman in an attempt to make her spill. "Don't look at me like that G, you know I hate that authoritative glare."
"Well, I know it's the only way to get things out of you. So, do you care to explain what's going on down in Arizona?"
"Yes, no. I. Suppose I should." She sat at the kitchen island and was swirling her coffee around. G was standing on the opposite end, waiting for Arizona. Taking a deep breath, she finally let it out, "I've been having these, dreams…" She paused again.
"Okay, dreams when you're sleeping?" G tried to goad it out of her.
"Yeah." Arizona sounded small. Obviously she had the dreams when she was sleeping. But it was the content of her dreams while she was sleeping that made her cringe.
"Okay, well, what are these dreams Arizona?" G had a number of ideas of what the dreams could be, given she was a trauma surgeon and had seen some horrific accidents.
"They're all about Tim." She whispered out. She could feel the lump forming in the back of her throat and the tears trying to escape from her eyes. Sometimes she could mention his name and not bat an eye, because deep down, she knew that was what Tim would want. He wanted her to talk about him without crying because he died a hero and because they had each other even if it was for only a short time. However, the ugly head of remorse and sorrow often trumped those spirits; creating a superstorm of tears and heavy sobs.
Tossing her friend the box of tissues from the counter she cleared her own throat, "I am going to tell you something about myself that I've only told one other person in the world. And I bet you could take a wild guess at who that person was."
Arizona nodded, she knew it was Tim. Tim and G were inseparable whenever they were together. There was always a running joke between their friends and families that Tim and G were going to elope in some exotic country since they never ever dated and were always together.
"When my dad died, I cried three times. Three times. Twice at the hospital and once at his memorial service. That's it. I didn't allow myself to feel sorry or mourn at all. I just locked it all away and that was the end of my mourning. It wasn't until two months later when my hockey team was in the state finals that I started having dreams. Dreams I sometimes didn't remember or dreams I did. Every mood in the dream was the same, he was disappointed with me, saying I wasn't giving enough or pushing hard enough. They would all end the same, with him dying and being disappointed in me. I would wake up crying hysterically and I didn't know why. I ignored my dreams for the most part and they went away after the tournament. I associated them with the stress of the game. For the record, we lost that tournament.
"They started to come back again, during my senior year in high school. Only they were slightly different. The tone was different, and every single one of them was sad. I would again, wake up crying for no reason. My dad had been gone nearly a year, why should I still be upset I thought. He raised me to be strong, tough, and unyielding, but I felt so heavy with this pit in my stomach. I didn't know why, but I knew I had to be strong. So, that's what I was, I was strong. I never showed any weakness. Ever.
"As the years progressed, so did the dreams. They became only more vivid and frequent. But I buried them. It wasn't until your brother woke me up while I was crying that he asked me what was wrong. And he persistently asked, and I told him. I told him every little detail, because that's how well I remember them. And you know what he said to me?
"He said, 'Stop being what your dad wanted you to be for a second. Just stop. Because you're looking for a Deadman's approval. He's gone, and you need to let him go. You need to grieve for a minute because he's not here anymore. You need to be upset when you feel it, because there are always going to be things you do and endure in your life that you're gonna look behind you and hope for his approval when it won't be there. There are going to be things that make you mad he isn't here. There are going to be things that make you happy he wasn't there either. The point is, let go. You need to be happy you had the time you did with him and accept that even though he is gone, he'll always live in you.'
"And I did all those things he said to me. Because saying 'it isn't fair' doesn't make it better, it makes it difficult. Pretending to be strong is the worst thing you can do. I want you to know Arizona, that he is right. And you need to grieve this out. It's not going to happen in a day, or even a year or ever. I don't know. But whenever you feel something, you let it out. You cry, laugh, smile, stomp your feet, just take a moment for yourself. That's what your mind is trying to tell you."
By the end of her story, Arizona was crying freely. She didn't know why exactly, was it for her brother? Yes, but it was also everything G said to her. The tone of her own personal dreams. She was bound to become a world class surgeon, but yet her brother died because there weren't enough surgeons. The guilt ate her alive. Every dream made sense. She couldn't save Tim and she never will.
G came around the kitchen island and hugged Arizona. She let the blonde weep into her because that's what Arizona needed. Calming her breaths and pulling away, she whipped her eyes one final time. G lifted her head up by the chin, and asked, "You okay Battleship?"
"Yeah, thank you. I needed to hear that."
"Don't thank me okay. If you ever need to talk don't hesitate. Alright? Good. Now where the hell is cuddles it's almost 930"
Not even a minute later, her door rang again, Tyson started his barking and Teddy was let into the house. Once they were all caffeinated and situated, the trio headed out for their day.
XXX
"So G, rumor has it you're dating a particular red headed woman – care to explain?" All three women were standing at a podium in the firing range. Opposite them, was their target – a paper silhouette nearly 100 feet away.
"That's an interesting rumor Teddy, because I heard the exact same on when I was sure I said STAY AWAY from that one particular red head." Both women nodded in unison while G stood in position, aiming the handgun down range.
"Yeah, both of you goons have the wrong red head."
*POP-POP-POP-POP-POP-POP*
Six empty shells hit the ground and the clicking of the chamber indicated she was done with the clip.
"Yeah right, we all know you had yes for Callie's roommate. Don't be so cavalier about it G." Teddy enjoyed teasing G about women since she knew it would always get a rise out of her. "How long have you guys been doing it now?"
"None of your business Cuddles, so drop it. Arizona your up."
"Ut-oh, did I hit a soft spot? Did she reject the macho German sex machine? Did she deny one of the legendary Syphilis Sisters?"
Arizona was laughing uncontrollably by now, and G was only getting more and more mad by the second.
"Or, do you actually like her?" G snapped her eyes at Teddy in a near death glare. "Oh, my, gosh, Gaetana has feelings! For another human being aside from her dog! You have a crush. Ouuuu"
*POP-POP-POP-POP-POP-POP*
Six more empty shells hit the ground and Arizona cleared the chamber.
"Ut-oh Teddy, G is finally softening up. It's about time."
"Both of you shut it. Yes, fine. I do have a crush on a woman who I happen to this is gorgeous. But it's all in fun in games, she's straight as can be and I'm leaving in a few days. Which begs the question, what are we doing?"
Arizona stepped back to let Teddy take her turn, the dirty blonde loaded the gun and took aim. "What were you thinking of doing G, seeing it's your birthday and all."
"Shit, it is almost your birthday G!" Arizona blushed slightly. G probably had the easiest birthday to remember – Halloween. And this would be the first time in nearly half a decade the woman was home to actually celebrate it.
*POP-POP-POP-POP-POP-POP*
Another six empty shells hit the ground and the click-clack sound of the chamber being cleared was heard.
"Well, I was thinking a Halloween house party. You know, like old times? What do you guys think?"
Teddy put the hand gun down on the table, turned to face Arizona. Both blondes nodded in agreement and turned to face G, "Oh, yeah. Absolutely. We need to have a Halloween birthday party."
XXX
AN2: Up next, the Halloween party ... Thanks for reading!
