Chapter 2 - I'm my own Prince Charming

"That's it", Diggle said, only slightly out of breath and arms akimbo. "That's the third time in a row that I got a hit in, if I didn't know better I'd say you are getting old."

Oliver didn't deem it important enough to react to his friend's taunts, too used to them already. He wouldn't get a rise out of him this time. He had quickly learnt his lesson, namely that Diggle would pounce as soon as he saw the slightest sign of emotional vulnerability. Instead, he kept twirling the stick in his hand, dripping with sweat, the stick as well as he himself, and silently planned his next attack. He wouldn't let Diggle get in another lucky hit. He wouldn't live that down, he knew for sure.

At least that's what he had planned. In reality it didn't work out like that. He should have known better. When was the last time something actually worked out the way he wanted it to? Seemed like a lifetime ago. Before he went on the Gambit, before he started his crusade, before everything he touched seemed to turn bad.

Smack.

Diggle had hit him again and the smirk on his face let Oliver know that he wouldn't let him live it down easily. Well, Oliver figured, as long as Roy wasn't witness to his sloppiness, all was still relatively well. Their youngster would never listen to his advice ever again if he had seen Diggle wipe the floor with him.

The towel Diggle threw his way also nearly ended up in his face. He shook his head. He really had to focus on the matter at hand or else they'd think he was getting soft.

"Where's your head at?" Diggle asked, ever present knowing glint in his eyes. Oh how Oliver would have liked to wipe that smug smile off his face. But to do that he would've had to gain the upper hand in their fight, which, suffice to say, he hadn't today. And he was sure that he would feel it in the coming days, judging by the bruises already starting to form.

Instead he focused all his energy on not provoking Diggle's need to inquire about his emotional state anymore than he already had. "Save it, Digg." He didn't bother denying that there was something going on. It would only give Diggle more ammunition. And he really didn't need encouragement.

"You don't know what I wanted to say", Diggle said, wiping down the equipment they had used, before Felicity could lay in on them again for "sweating up the place" in their need to "put on a testosterone fueled show". Her words, of course, not theirs. Although Diggle had to agree when it came to Oliver's salmon ladder routine. The boy made damn sure that he was within Felicity's sight when he did it.

For a second Oliver stopped putting away their gear to throw his friend a look. He didn't need to bother actually saying the words. Diggle understood him perfectly well without having to actually articulate his thoughts. So he let him be again. At least for a little while, until the younger one thought himself safe from his inquiries again. Or until he again showed signs of actually needing someone to talk. Not that he ever really was. Getting something out of their first resident vigilante usually wasn't pleasant and it mostly involved more Vodka than Diggle wanted to. (Lyla never let him hear the end of it after he came home slightly drunk the month before.)

So he limited himself to watching Oliver repeatedly turn his phone off and on again, as if waiting for something to change. A deep sigh escaped him. Oliver had never taken much care to take his phone with him wherever he went, but over the last few months, ever since they beat Slade and his army, his phone had never been far from his reach, but during the last week, first with Felicity's mini-vacation and two never returned phone calls to Thea, that phone had become his ever present companion.

"Still no answer?" Diggle asked. It had taken him days and half a bottle of Vodka to get Oliver to talk about what was bothering him this time: Thea still being away.

Apparently no answer was enough of an answer.

"You know, you could ask Felicity to look into it", he suggested gently, not sure if that particular suggestion was welcome at the moment.

"Diggle." It obviously wasn't, but he wasn't about to open that can of worms.

"I'm just saying." With that he let the matter drop for now.

With a last angry stab at his - presumably silent - phone, Oliver said, "I actually need to go."

Any other time Diggle would have suspected he just wanted to end the conversation in this instance he knew he was telling the truth and once again the older one was left to finish clean up.

While Oliver silently willed his phone to finally ring and put him out of his misery, Felicity wished her phone would stop ringing. Alright, it had stopped ringing a while ago, but that was because she put it to silent. Now it only kept buzzing with every new text and unanswered call. An innocent bystander might have suggested she just answer one of the texts or calls, but Felicity knew better. Ever since she had visited her mother and had taken the time to explain in detail - too much detail, if you asked Donna - to her mother, how texting worked, her phone hadn't stopped ringing. Not when she was still sitting in Donna's living room, trying to come to terms with the changes her live was going through, and certainly not after the mother-daughter duo finally parted ways at the airport. No thing was too unimportant or too little not to be mentioned in a text message. Be it that Donna's coworker finally figured out she - the coworker, not Donna - was gay, or that the cute guy Felicity had had a class with ages ago was getting a divorce, everything needed to be shared with Felicity. Whether she wanted to know about it, or not.

So far, Felicity had tried to be patient with her mother. During her visit in Vegas, the two blondes had taken the time to get to know one another again, and maybe for the first time since Felicity had been old enough to have her own opinion and to make decisions on her own, they were seeing eye to eye again. At least for the most part. Their opinions on what needed to be shared immediately, and exactly how many text messages were too many, still differed. But Felicity realized that her mom only wanted what was best for her. Even if that meant letting your underage daughter move across the country to follow her dreams and probably never return.

It could be said that her little trip to Vegas was enlightening in more ways than one. And as much as she appreciated the fact that their mother-daughter relationship seemed to be on the right track for once, the continuous buzzing got on her nerves.

Especially since Felicity needed all her brain power to decided whether she needed long-grain or medium grain rice. Who knew that there were so many rice varieties? Certainly not the blonde standing in the rice aisle, looking a bit lost. Even Google hadn't been ably to help her, it only confused her more, because what exactly was Wehani rice and how was it different from Nishiki rice?

Putting the shopping basket down she looked at the recipe on her phone again (of course not without seeing that her mother had sent her another emoji filled text). Rice. The recipe only said rice. How was she to now which rice to buy?

Very early on in her life had Felicity realized that she was above average intelligent, but she also realized that neither she nor her mother had any cooking talent whatsoever. And it hadn't improved. Obviously, since she only just discovered that there were more than one type of rice, but that didn't deter her.

After finding out that she was pregnant, Felicity had taken stock of her life. Rather, she had to, whether she wanted to or not. (At least after she first ignored all the signs and then started to freak out as soon as the pregnancy test turned out positive.) Now the first thing on her list of things to do before the baby came - she didn't want to think about it yet - was to learn how to cook, so they wouldn't starve to death and her child - she was going to have a child! She was going to be someone's mother! - wouldn't be the one to tell her teacher that mommy only ordered food and burned even ready meals. Which she might have done in grade school. Donna still wasn't amused. And before that - let's not start thinking about the kid starting school before it was even out of the oven, before Felicity even knew whether she would have a son or a daughter - every blog she had read mentioned how important it was, to eat healthy. Not that she hadn't already known that - hello, genius, remember - but being responsible for another - very defenseless and vulnerable - human being bumped learning how to cook up on her list of important things she had to do. Right.

Maybe she should have started with something easier than rice. Maybe pasta. What could go wrong with pasta? Knowing Felicity, a lot.

And of course everything went wrong. First she burned the water. How that was even possible, she didn't know, but it had definitely happened. Then, to be on the safe side, she put the noodles into the pot first, and then added water. Didn't turn out too good, either. Who knew cooking was so hard? And really, those noodles should have come with an instruction manual.

So Felicity opted for Big Belly burger before starting her night job and also vowed never to touch her stove again, no matter what.

That's how Diggle found her sitting in front of her computers, still munching on some fries, quietly muttering about cooking and stupid rice.

"Hey", he greeted her, putting down his jacket and coffee-to-go cup on the table next to her before leaning against it. "You were gone quickly yesterday. I didn't even get to say goodbye." He had expected her to come and talk to him after her and Roy had finished bickering like the siblings they weren't, but she hadn't. Instead Roy had come to tell him that he would had home early.

"Yeah, sorry, jetleg hit me really bad", she apologized with a wry smile.

Diggle huffed a silent laugh. "Vegas and Starling are in the same time-zone, Felicity", he stated and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He wouldn't fall for her doe-eyed look, no. He had plenty of practice now, seeing as Lyla used the exact same look to get him to fulfill her every craving in the middle of the night.

Oh, but she did try, but a simply raise of his eyebrow made her give in. "You might have a point there." Sighing she started spinning her chair. "Turns out dealing with my mom and trying to grow a human body is really exhausting."

Now that he did believe, not at least because of his own impeding fatherhood. "So I've heard repeatedly over the past few weeks." Felicity snorted. And he didn't even know Donna.

"Here", Diggle said, offering her the cup he had put on the table.

Felicity eagerly reached for it, but turned cautious when the undeniable smell hit her. "What's that?"

"Decaf coffee", he answered and he would have laughed about the way her eyes lit up when she took the first sip of it if he wasn't sure that pretty soon she and Lyla would become best friends and he would get chewed out for making fun of a pregnant woman.

"Ooooooh." Felicity closed her eyes in delight, savoring the taste. "Lyla has trained you well."

"See if I bring you coffee again", he grumbled good heartedly. They both knew he would never say no if she asked.

After studying her for a minute he decided to finally ask her what he had wanted to know since she dropped the news on them the day before. "Soo, want to tell me about the father?"

For a second she stopped spinning in her chair and narrowed her eyes at him. "Did Oliver put you up to this?"

Not the slightest bit hurt that she didn't think Diggle himself would think of asking, he simply told her, "Felicity, we both know Oliver has issues to keep multiple psychologists in business if he finally started talking about them. I think he's starting to work through some of them right now and has enough on his plate." Then he added, "And he's not the best at multitasking."

She couldn't help but snort. Multitasking definitely wasn't something she associated with their resident green vigilante, especially when it came to problems in his personal life. "So you won't tell him anything I tell you?" she wanted to assure herself anyways.

"Not if you don't want me."

For a second she seemed unsure. Felicity knew, sooner or later Oliver would want to know about it too, and wouldn't it be better coming from Diggle and not from her? At least for her it would be better.

"Maybe it would be best if you told him about Dickward, because telling Oliver about the guy I slept with and who got me pregnant really doesn't sound like fun to me." No, no. Getting braces again sounded more fun, even moving in with her mother sounded more appealing than telling Oliver about the guy she slept with.

"Dickward?" Diggle echoed.

"Roy's nickname for him." She carefully placed the empty cup far away from her precious computers.

"Roy met him?

Felicity wasn't sure, but to her it sounded is if Diggle was slightly hurt that Roy - the newest addition to the team at that - knew about Dickward and she felt a bit defensive. "It wasn't planned, but he took me home when I had car troubles a while ago and Dick- Edward was waiting for me in front of my apartment." She explained quickly, careful not to go off on a tangent again. "He wasn't to friendly with Roy." She snorted. "Or anyone he thought beneath him, to be honest." She sat still, contemplating that for a bit. Maybe this could all have been avoided if she hadn't been so blind.

Sensing that their talk could take some time, Diggle pulled up another chair and sat down next to Felicity. "You never told us you were seeing anybody."

His friend helplessly shrugged her shoulders. "Because I wasn't. I mean it was only for sex because a woman also has-" Taking a deep breath she stopped herself. They all knew what would happen once she started babbling. "You know what, stop me right here before I tell you about my very mediocre sex life. Please. You know me. If you don't stop me now I'll just keep babbling", she told him, eyes wide, as if she herself didn't want that to happen.

Despite the situation Diggle had to smile. Only Felicity could turn this into a situation that could potentially damage them both for their lives. He took pity on her. (And on himself. Seriously, she was like a sister to him, no need to talk about her sex life.) "Did you tell him about the baby?"

"Oh yes", she laughed bitterly. "Might have saved my breath for something more productive."

"He bailed on you", Diggle deducted and balled his hands to fists. If only she had told him an actual name he could wring that bastard's neck.

"Couldn't get away fast enough." 10 points to Diggle. "Last I heard he had a job offer in Gotham." She tapped her fingers against the table is if wishing she could hack something. "Although how he gets there, I don't know."

"What?"

"Someone might have put him on the no-fly list?" She said innocently. Not giving her friend enough time to digest what she had just said she continued on, "Look, I can fight my own battles. So tell Oliver to calm down. Nobody needs to defend my honor. I'm my own Prince Charming. Or Princess." Felicity scrunched up her nose. Who cared about princesses and princes anyway? They probably didn't even have wifi.

"Oh please." You didn't have to say anything. You are all so protective of me it wasn't such an outlandish thought that he'd want to go and put an arrow in Dickward." Well, there was no point denying the truth. Although Diggle's weapon of choice certainly wouldn't have been an arrow. Before he could react another thought had occured to her. "Hm. Maybe I could change his name on his birth certificate…" She was in the process of turning back to her computer to try and do exactly that when Diggle stopped her chair.

"Are you alright?" he asked, not letting her break eye contact and wiggle herself out of the situation as she was wont to do.

For a moment it looked like she would downplay the troubles in her life once again, but in the end she patted his arm and assured him, "Don't worry about me, Digg. We Smoak women are made out of the strong stuff."

"I don't doubt that."

"You are the best friend a girl could hope for." She got up to hug him. "And you'll be the best dad possible", she told him with a wink and turned back to her computer, probably making quick work of finding them their 'Villain of the week'.

No moment too soon, seeing as both Roy and Oliver entered the foundry not a second after she had started her programs.

But before they could start their night of fighting crime she had an axe to grind. Turning around to face them she tried using her sternest voice, "Alright, now that all of you are here: Care to tell me who thought it was a good idea to use the tablet as a coaster?" All three of time ducked their heads and if she had let them stew another five seconds she was sure they would have started shuffling their feet and using their combined puppy dog eyes on her like grade students. "I swear, you shouldn't be allowed near a computer system. I'm never leaving again."

As soon as she had turned around both Oliver and Diggle looked at Roy accusingly, but he only raised his hands in defense, not wanting to verbally defend himself lest Felicity thought she wanted to know exactly who had abused her precious piece of technology. They continued their silent blame shifting until Roy finally cracked.

"Where is that constant buzzing coming from?" Roy asked irritated, after having checked his own phone for the sixth time that evening.

"Argh… That's my mom. Believe me, I already regretted explaining to her how to actually send a text not five minutes after I left her at the gate", Felicity explained by way of apology and reached for her bag to finally take care of it.

She was too busy replying to her mother that yes, she was fine, thank you very much and would call tomorrow, to see Oliver glancing a look at his own phone. Diggle certainly noticed, but decided he had played psychologist enough for one day. All of them were certainly old enough - at least on paper, there was no telling their mental maturity - to figure out their own problems.

For once they acted there age when instead of leaving immediately to go on patrol, Oliver hung back to ask Felicity for a favor.

"Could you look up where Thea is? I think it's time she came home."