A/N: This quote is Damon all day.


"Misery made me a fiend. Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous."
Frankenstein


Stefan came back after dropping Elena off at home and beelined for the coffee in the kitchen. He was surprised Damon was sitting at the table staring into his mug wearing different jeans and a dark t-shirt. He watched for a few moments, but Damon didn't seem to be paying any attention.

"That was a waste of a trip," he said a little louder than necessary.

Damon looked up quickly, and then looked back at the cup in his hands. "What?"

Stefan couldn't tell if the question was because he misunderstood or because he didn't know why Stefan was looking at him. "Why didn't Ric take Elena when he left?"

Huffing a laugh, Damon shook his head. "Daddy-Daughter walks of shame. Seems like that would be another awkward drive home." He took a sip of his coffee and winced. "Bleh, cold."

"How long have you been sitting here?"

Shrugging, Damon got up to pour another cup. "Tired. Long weekend, keeping Ricky-boy sated."

Stefan flinched but tried to mask it in a roll of his shoulders. He poured coffee into a clean mug. "Do you really have to do that?"

Snickering, Damon nodded. "If I have to hear you and Elena grunt and howl all weekend, then yeah, you should know what I was up to as well."

"Please, I'm fully aware of what you're up to." The bizarre weekend spent with Elena in his bed but Damon and Ric in his ear was not something Stefan was entirely proud of. He glared and stepped away from the counter. "We do not grunt and howl. Why are you even listening?"

Damon followed closely behind him, clearly pleased with himself. "Sensitive hearing, brother. She is a loud one. What I don't understand is why you are making so much noise. There's no way she's that good."

"Damon." Stefan put as much warning as he could into the word. "Stop."

"No, tell me. She's still trying to keep up right?" Damon stepped closer with an arrogant glint, "And I bet you're still holding back. How much restraint do you have to have to keep from pounding into her and ruining her for every future guy?"

Stefan was backed against the opposite counter, with Damon's arms bracketing his body till they were only a few inches apart. He couldn't discern the intent on Damon's face, but it was making every muscle in his body tense. He knew his brother was intentionally trying to rile him up, but he didn't have the energy to shrug off that shit so early in the morning. "This isn't funny." He didn't want to think about Elena being with someone else. About what her future may eventually hold without him. About how Damon may be right.

"Sure it is. Picturing her trying to be sentimental when you need to let go a little. Fucking hilarious." Damon backed away, giving Stefan room to take in a shaky breath. "You should let her have the chance to experience a real man."

"Is that what this is about?" Stefan growled, feeling himself crack as Damon pushed him over the edge. Goddammit, how many times did they have to go over this? "You still think you could be better for her?" His face went black, eyes blood-red. "Nothing is fucking enough for you!" He grabbed Damon's shoulders and slammed him backward. "Like Ric is any different?"

Rolling his eyes, Damon picked himself off the ground. "Calm down you lunatic. While I'm flattered you think so, I didn't actually say anything about me. I said 'real man' as in 'hu-man' as in 'someone who isn't tempted to devour her every other second.'" He brushed himself off and went back to pick up his coffee, turning his back on Stefan's outrage. "For the record, Ric's ring brings him back to life if I take things too far." He smiled as he looked over his shoulder. "You don't have that luxury unless she's got your blood in her."

Shock defused Stefan's anger. His face cleared and Stefan stumbled back. "You killed him having sex?"

Damon laughed, but it was cruel and sarcastic. Stefan hated that laugh. "No, I did not fuck him to death, but I've killed him a few times, haven't I? And he still comes over, still puts away the vervain while we're together, still lets me open a vein or two."

"You're feeding from him?"

"You're not feeding from her?" Damon shot back.

"Barely a drop at a time! To build a tolerance. Not to slake any kind of hunger. Damon," He grabbed his brother's shoulder, but without the threat. "Please, you can't do that to him."

"And why is that?" Damon sneered. The cruel twist in his mouth made Stefan's stomach drop, but he wasn't going to relent on this. It didn't matter that Damon knew Stefan was trying to be better with blood, but something about Damon knowing Stefan was sampling from Elena made his face burn.

"Because he's all Elena has left."

Damon looked at the hand on his shoulder, then back at Stefan's earnest face. "You don't get any say in what I do." He took Stefan's hand off him and squeezed it tightly. Too tightly. Stefan tried not to wince as his bones cracked under the pressure. "Remember that." He looked at Stefan's hand in his, and then threw it down. "Don't you have school today, too?"

Enough. He had enough for now. Everything about this argument made him nauseous. Stefan stomped his way to the stairs while shaking out his hand and pushing the bones back in place to heal. "I have to hunt before class. We're not done talking about this."

"Looking forward to it."


Damon pushed Stefan too far. He was pretty sure he was supposed to feel bad about that. He didn't understand why Stefan was so hung up on the idea of Damon wanting Elena. He had been curious, for a little while, before she made it abundantly clear that would only be an option over her dead body. Sure, it was as much fun to flirt with her as it was to argue. And okay, Damon wasn't blind to Elena's signals. She just didn't hate him as much as she did at the beginning. Becoming closer to his brother's girlfriend didn't have to mean anything else. He could hate her and be friends with her at the same time. His relationship with a lot of people was the exact same way.

He didn't see why Stefan was so upset about him being with Alaric either. Ric was a consenting adult, and decent company when Damon was interested. Which was more than he could say about most of the girls he brought home. Damon fed on everyone he slept with, and Stefan had always known that. There had been a time in their lives when Damon told him all about every encounter in vivid detail. The discomfort and nervousness the stories brought Stefan had always entertained Damon.

He told his brother once that the closest they got to humanity was when they ripped it open and fed on it. It wasn't really the threat that Stefan took it as at the time. Being close to humans was only beneficial for making vampires stronger. Humanity wasn't supposed to some kind of status quo. Yet here these naïve humans were, expecting vampires to be something other than monsters, and the Salvatore's continued trying to bend to those impossible notions.

How good could anything really be with Elena without the blood? Damon was sure they were missing the perks of the human/vampire relationship. What could it be like to spend that much time with someone for the pure joy of being together? He tried comparing the idea to his experiences and couldn't come up with anything that even came close. His friends were always tools to further Damon's pursuits.

He hated Stefan for making him think about it.

Damon wished it didn't always come to that. After a century and a half of practice, he was still no good at hating Stefan. Even in his most furious rages, he'd never been able to permanently cut ties. There was too much of Before that he'd be cutting off too. Along with a secret desperate hope that they could end up there again one day. He didn't want to always be the person making Stefan miserable. He wished there were ways he could lend to Stefan's happiness. The curse of eternity lessened in small increments by the possibility of wanting to be around each other and not having to live that eternity alone.

Elena would eventually take care of that. The presence of their relationship was a constant reminder that Stefan wanted to be good, to be human, to be weak in order to be happy. That he couldn't have any of those things around Damon.

Anxiety flared in Damon's chest. Stefan was wrong about Damon wanting Elena. The boiling heat in Damon's body wasn't singing for Elena's blood or her body. Every aching, churning, silent desire wanted something much more complicated than stealing his brother's girlfriend. Damon couldn't bring himself to admit what that one thing was. The feeling was too new, too incredibly terrifying. But he knew it wasn't that damn girl. She had a different destiny in store. She would be the reward for everything Stefan worked for and Damon would be left with nothing.

With no one.

The realization made him exceptionally tired.

That night Damon didn't go to the bar. When Alaric called, it went straight to voicemail.

In the week that followed, if Damon took a little longer finding someone to feed on, and if they were starting to look incredibly familiar, Damon chose to ignore it.