...And Injustice For All

Chapter 8: Joke's On You

Chris and Zatanna were strolling when they saw a Regime truck. The Joker was driving it with a guard who is apparently dead.

Joker: Thanks for the ride. You're a funny guy. Are you sure the old gang lives around here? True, they could be dead. (Gasp) Law-abiding? Bite your tongue!

Joker gets out of the vehicle and looks around, ignorant of Batman watching over him. He looks at the graffiti on the walls.

Joker: Interesting. My fame precedes me.

A subway train was rolling by from above. Joker turns around to see it and also sees Batman coming down. Joker kicked him on the way down.

Joker: (Laughing) Right in the belfry. Please don't go...

Batman: Shut it, clo...(Grunts)

Joker: Aww, did you hurt your leg? How about a broken neck to go with it?

I'm just as surprised as everyone else when the Joker finally defeated Batman, even though his leg was injured and was at a complete disadvantage.

Joker: And now, my sour-faced flying rodent, let's put a smile on that puss.

Joker takes out his pink toxic spray can and was about to spray it on Batman when he saw two familiar beings and decides to leave.

Joker: Such a beautiful moment can't be rushed. Don't go cheering without me.

Yellow Lantern and Regime Hawkgirl found Batman.

Yellow Lantern: Been a while.

Hawkgirl (Regime): On your feet. Let's go.

Batman: I don't think so, Hawkgirl.

Yellow Lantern punches Batman in the face as she and Yellow Lantern prepare to take off, carrying him.

Joker was hiding behind a building.

Joker: I forgot my camera. I could've gotten 10 million hits.

He sees Regime Hawkgirl and Yellow Lantern flying away with Batman.

Joker: I miss him already.

Joker heard voices coming from behind. He sees Chris and Zatanna walking by, conversating.

Joker: This fella is new to me. What is he doing with zatanna?

Zatanna: That's awful. I can't believe someone like him would do that.

Joker: I can't, either!

They turned around to see Joker.

Chris: YOU!

Joker: Something wrong? Is it my makeup? I can fix that!

Chris: No, idiot. I remember you. You planted that bomb in Metropolis.

Joker: How did you know that?

Chris: I was there, before we got sucked into this universe.

Joker: You're one of them, are you?

Chris: No. I don't possess superpowers.

Joker: Interesting. Perhaps we should see how you can handle yourself.

Joker takes out his knife and tried to slice Chris, but he dodged the attack, socked Joker in the gut, and blasts him in face with a uppercut.

Chris: If you're looking for a fight, Joker, you found one.

Chris fights the Joker. Joker is a unique fighter in his right, using weapons and gadgets just like Batman. But Chris told the Joker he doesn't possess superpowers. Joker tried to slice him again, but immediately gets taken down. One more attempt, but Chris grabbed the attacking arm and holds him in a armlock. Chris punched the Joker three times, lets go of the arm, and clutches him in a gut wrench suplex. Joker pulls out his revolver but Zatanna magically took it away from him.

Joker: HEY! THAT"S MINE!

Joker charges towards Zatanna, but Chris grabbed the Joker by the throat, pulled him in and knees him in the gut again. He takes the Joker down by sweeping his arm.

Chris: Had enough?

Zatanna: I think he's had enough.

Chris: Yea. Let's go.

Joker later woke up to hear another voice. He turns around and sees...

Joker: Harley?

Harley (Insurgent): Harleen. A little bird told me that a creep dressed like the Joker fighting a Batman wannabe. You got the looks, and a lot of nerve. What you don't have is the right.

Harley keeps poking what appears to be a sawed-off double-barreled shotgun.

Harley (Insurgent): Joker was a hero. You're not fit to lick his boutonniere.

What the hell is a boutonniere?

Joker: Harley, it's me, the Joker. Look, it says her on my underwear.

Harley was not amused and fires her shotgun.

Harley: Not funny, creep. No one pretend to be Mr. J!

It seems the Joker couldn't talk his way out of this fight. He soon realized that this is not the same Harley he knows. He decided to test this Harley by allowing her to use a mallet bomb made into a cake. In fact, Joker came up with that idea. She uses it, but the Joker increased the limit of time a bit. He tells Harley the cake was delicious, but needs a little boom. He gives the cake to Harley. She soon learns that the cake's time limit was increased by 20 seconds and it blew up in her face.

Joker: Have we calmed down?

Harley (Insurgent): It's you... the way you...

Joker: Pummel?

Harley (Insurgent): Well... yeah.

Joker: It's the love. You can feel the love, right?

Harley (Insurgent): Joker's dead, but...

Joker: This isn't my Gotham, Harley, but I am the the Joker, my dear. Am I your Joker, Harley?

Harley feels lovestruck just like the original Harley.

Harley (Insurgent): PUDDIN'!

She takes his hand.

Harley (Insurgent): C'mon. There's some people who gotta meet you.

Joker and Harley strolling away together. I'm thinking the original Harley Quinn would not be so pleased if she was in his universe as well.