You said you'd wait forever, but I blink and the world was gone
You wade through the water, slowly your hands grow numb
I wish you'd felt me falling, I wish you'd watch over me
And the World Was Gone — Snow Ghosts
Stefan spent the next night waiting for Damon to go to bed to see if he'd sleepwalk again. Instead he discreetly watched his brother go through three bottles of scotch without getting up from his spot in front of the fireplace.
Stefan gave up first and went to catch a few hours of sleep before dawn came.
He watched for two weeks. He didn't know how Damon could keep going through the days on as little sleep as he was getting.
The days Elena came over were the days Damon went out. But he stumbled home every night. Alaric became the warning signal. He would call as soon as Damon left the bar with a weak excuse, "I didn't notice how much he drank until he left. He insisted on sleeping in his own bed." Stefan couldn't tell if Alaric was disappointed.
Stefan sent Elena home whenever he got the call. It was hard to make her understand why he needed to watch his brother, so he stopped trying to explain.
Damon came crashing in, drunk and wobbly. When Damon looked around, dizzy and suspicious until he didn't find whatever, or whoever he was looking for, he would suddenly smile. Stefan thought Damon was pleased Elena wasn't there, but the real reason behind that eluded him.
Those nights Damon crossed paths with Elena as he came in and she went out were the nights Stefan watched Damon not even try to sleep. It took three nights in a row for Stefan to put it together. As soon as he did, he came up with reasons for her not to come over. The days she didn't come, Damon didn't leave, and everything seemed okay.
So Stefan stuck around. It was easier than he would have expected. Stefan went home immediately after class and Damon was always there. Damon didn't notice Stefan wasn't staying out, or didn't care.
It was just the two of them again.
They spent the afternoons splitting a bottle, but didn't drink excessively. Stefan wrote in his journal or did homework as Damon sat around reading. They went out and fed separately, but they came home and watched black and white movies or played video games together in the living room until Damon decided to go to bed. They went to sleep in their respective rooms. Stefan, warily leaving his door open just in case, in case of something. He didn't know what he expected. He didn't know if Damon noticed.
He couldn't figure out the trigger for Damon's sleepwalking. If he wasn't worrying so much about what was wrong with his brother, he may have realized they were actually having a good time hanging out together. Being brothers again.
Damon loved every minute. Their time alone was fun. They'd always been good at drinking together. If Damon sat a little bit closer, put his arm around Stefan's shoulders in order to clink their glasses together, stayed there a little longer than necessary, well, his brother didn't seem to mind.
He was greedy for Stefan's time. Watching Stefan through new eyes, not really noticing his brother, or the self-righteous nuisance, but for the first time really seeing the earnest young man everyone else so easily fell in love with. He knew Stefan was all of those things, all at once, and holy shit, Damon couldn't walk away if he wanted to.
Spending nights listening to his brother's quiet breathing down the hall, blessedly unaccompanied, soothed Damon's raging anxiety as he went to sleep. Stefan could stay alone, Damon tried to convince himself that meant he didn't have break anything else. As long as he could keep himself from reaching out for more, there was the possibility he didn't have to cross those lines he knew would ruin everything.
By the time the second weekend rolled around, Stefan found himself making lamer excuses for staying home alone every night. He insisted Elena spend the time with her friends, but Elena wouldn't let it go that easily. Stefan had to give his brother a heads-up.
Stefan caught Damon coming up from the basement as he came home after class. Distracted, Damon was the one who looked nervous for once and wiped his hand over his mouth. There were no flecks of blood or signs of it anywhere else except for the wafting delicious scent of metallic warmth lingering in the air. Stefan knew well enough about the stash of bags in the basement, but it was usually an emergency situation that Damon broke into them. He thought his brother only operated with a fresh supply.
The words left him as Stefan's eyes fell closed and he inhaled slowly. The moment of savoring ended as Damon cleared his throat and Stefan's eyes opened. Frowning, Damon shut the door behind him with his heel, and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
Trying to snap himself out of it, Stefan rubbed the tingling out of his eyes. "I, uh, I was looking for you."
Damon swept his arms in front of him before crossing them against his chest. "You found me."
"Elena is coming over." The change in Damon's expression was small. Figuring out why would be easier if Damon looked at him instead of the wall. "Is that okay?"
Instead of some kind of snarky remark, Damon shrugged.
"It's not today. Tomorrow, she's going to be hanging out here."
"Okay." Damon said slowly, waiting for some kind of elaboration.
"Alaric will probably be home." Stefan suggested.
Damon's eyes widened and flicked to Stefan's before he went back to studying the wall. "Yeah. He usually is. I'll probably be home too."
Staring in slight confusion, Stefan nodded. He couldn't focus on why his brother was being so weird. His mouth watered and his lungs were tight. "I have to go hunt."
Stepping in front of him suddenly, Damon's eyes were back on him. "Do you have your phone?"
Patting the device in his pocket, Stefan nodded. "Of course."
"Don't get kidnapped this time." Smirking in the way Stefan hated, but at least was used to, Damon stepped out of the way.
"Yeah, good advice." Stefan rolled his eyes, grateful Damon had dropped of his forced aloofness. "You could always come with me." He surprised himself by asking.
Silent for a moment, probably pretending to think about it for all Stefan knew, Damon itched at the corners of his mouth again. "I'm set, actually. Maybe another time."
"Sure." Stefan crossed back to the front door, zipping up his hoodie. "I'll be out a while."
Behind him, Damon snickered. "Give Bambi my regards."
