Life is made of choices
Alexandra was staring away, lost in her thoughts. After weeks of having sex, she realized she had been more than two months without her period. Actually, the last time was just before leaving Terra Nova. Two weeks after she had started to sleep with Lucas. She had been sick last week but she felt better now. She paled as she realized what it could mean. No she couldn't. When she was younger, her doctor told her she couldn't. But here, in a new world, without pollution and all of the bad things that were in 2012, maybe… The idea stayed in her mind for the next few days.
Lucas was worried about Alexandra. Her attitude had changed in the last week and she was always absent minded. When he had tried to talk to her about it, she had said everything was alright, that he was too paranoid. Maybe she wanted to go back to Terra Nova? Maybe she regretted her decision? No, he had to stop thinking like that, she had told him that she wanted him, she had chosen him. Maybe he was just not used to happiness. He had the feeling that this couldn't last forever.
Alexandra decided she had to tell Lucas. Even if she wasn't sure, she had to tell him why she had been acting so awkwardly for the last few days. She found him at his desk, writing down some numbers that she couldn't' understand.
"Lucas, I need to talk to you," she suddenly said, a trace of fear in her.
"What is it?" he asked, his eyes full of concern.
"Don't worry, it's nothing… or maybe it is… Actually I don't know… I… I'm late."
Silence.
"Very late actually…" She added, confused by his reaction.
"What are you saying exactly?" He asked, his eyes narrowed.
Alexandra burst in tears, she didn't know that she was holding so much weight on her shoulders. Lucas was already there, taking her in his arms, soothing her. He tilted his head and tried to make eye contact with her.
"I think I'm pregnant," she murmured. Her eyes filled with tears. She stared at him, waiting for a reaction.
"You… You what?" Those were the only words he managed to say.
"I'm not sure it's just… I feel like I'm pregnant. I know it sounds stupid and all but..."
"You're pregnant!" Lucas smirked, his face lightening. "I thought something was wrong, I thought you wanted to leave, I thought... It was a bad news"!
"Is it good news then?" she asked, startled.
"Yes! It is… I think it is. I mean it is, right?"
"I think so yes!" She was crying and laughing at the same time.
He gently kissed her, tightening his embrace. Then he slowly put his hands on her belly.
"A child… You're expecting a child…" Lucas realized how much it meant when he said it out loud. Excitement and stress grew through him. Lucas always tried to not getting emotionally attached. Feelings were a weakness. That was what his father had taught him. However, he clearly had feelings for Alexandra, a strong bond.
"Your child, our child," she added. Even for her it was a brand new sensation. She was pregnant. She was carrying his child. Their child. She was going to be a mother. He was going to be a father. She was not really sure how good this news was. What she was sure of was how Lucas had reacted. He was not mad at her as she thought he could have been. She felt relieved. Once again, he would stay with her. They would stay together.
Alexandra was pregnant, they were sure of it now. Her belly had a lovely little bump. She thought she was around 3 months. She loved the way Lucas used to come behind her and calmly put his hands on it, protecting it. They used to spend the day in each other arms, lost in their minds, looking at the sky.
"Maybe we should think about the name for our son?" he suddenly said one morning.
"Our daughter!" she replied, smiling.
Lucas was sure it would be a boy. He couldn't explain it. Alexandra would love a girl. It didn't matter, they couldn't find out until it was born anyway.
Alexandra never thought Lucas would say something like that. At the beginning, even if he was happy to become a father, he had needed time to assimilate it, understand it. But now he was just thrilled about the idea, like a child before Christmas, he couldn't wait for it to come! He was happier than ever and it made Alexandra over the moon.
Lucas was feeling on top of the world, Alexandra was good to him and she was expecting his child. Soon, he was going to be a father and he was really excited about it. At first, he thought about his relationship with his own father and wondered if he could be a good father when his father was the worst father in the world. In the end, he was sure he would be good at it because he was not his father, so he couldn't do it wrong. And Alexandra would be here, with him. She knew how to be with him, she would know how to be with their child.
"I like Elliot for a boy and Charlotte for a girl" said Alexandra, thoughtfully.
"Charlotte? Isn't that a cake?" He laughed. "And Elliot? Don't like this name. What about Eric or Michael?"
"No, I like Elliot. Don't you know the magic story of Elliot and E.T? With a name like Elliot, his life is going to be brilliant!"
"Do you know how many Michaels have been famous?" He said, a crook smile on his face.
"That's what I meant, I don't want my son to be like everyone else! I want him to be special, unique," she said, looking down her belly.
"He's already special. He is our son," Lucas gently said, his eyes bright.
"He might be she!" she smiled, caressing her belly. "Don't listen to your dad sweet heart, I'll allow you to be a girl! Charlotte…" She murmured
"We have time to discuss that question. I have a surprise for you," he lightly said, a big smile on his face.
"What is it?"
"Close your eyes."
"Why?"
"Come on!" He came behind her and put his hands on her eyes. "Walk!" He commanded her. He led her to the bed and made her sit on it. Alexandra felt Lucas put something in her hands.
"Happy birthday Alex," he murmured to her ear.
Alexandra couldn't believe what her surprise was. Her heart stopped. She was amazed.
"How did you get a plex from?" She asked, suspicious.
"That is my secret. Do you like it?"
"Of course! You're mad, you shouldn't have," she kissed him. She was so grateful he remembered her birthday. Lucas beamed at her. He was so happy to see how she had reacted. It had taken him few weeks to fulfil his plan. He had followed some Sixers in the jungle. They eventually make the mistake he expected. They had left their vehicle, leaving their belongings inside. This is when Lucas was able to steal the plex.
"Thank you so much," she added before kissing him again. "You are perfect." Alexandra wanted to say more, to do more. She wanted to show him how proud of him she was. She wanted to prove to him that she was happy. She wanted to tell him she loved him. But she didn't know why, she couldn't say it. She was too afraid he would not say it too. She knew it was not something he was ready to say. Love was something he knew when his mother was still alive. But since she died, his heart had stopped feeling that way. She didn't want to force him. She would have to be patient. And anyway, he was good to her the way he was right now. Did she really need him to say it to prove he had feelings for her?
Alexandra was 4 months pregnant now and she started to feel the exhaustion and the pain of the pregnancy. She was laying on the floor, legs against the tree trunk, feet in the air, reading something on her plex.
"What are you doing?" Lucas chuckled.
"Don't play with a pregnant woman's nerves. You don't know how much my hormones control me! I would murder someone if it could ease my pain!" She joked. Her back had been painful for about a week now and her legs were slightly swollen. Laying like this was the only way to ease the pain. Lucas leaned to her and laid next to her in the same position. He put his palm on her rounded belly, caressing it.
"I would not even try to get in your way!" He teased.
"I look like a barrel. A barrel with legs. Fat legs," she sighed. "I feel horrible."
"Well, I would not say you are super sexy right now," he started, noticing her eyes narrowing. "But you are pretty. I think you are beautiful pregnant."
"When I was a teen I didn't know how pretty I was. I only realized how attractive I could be not a long time ago. And now, here I am, enormous."
"You'll be sexy soon again. You'll just have to be a little more patient. Only few months left."
"I think I'm going to go for a walk. It might help me to sleep tonight. If I'm exhausted I will sleep right?"
Alexandra had problems sleeping. Because of her pregnancy, she was not doing much during the day and Lucas would not allow her to do more anyway. But she thought she couldn't sleep because she was not tired enough. Maybe a walk could help her.
"Do you want me to come?"
"No, it's ok. Stay here. Do what you want to do. I won't be long anyway!"
"Actually, I'd like to come with you." Lucas didn't really like the idea of Alexandra on her own in the jungle before. Now she was pregnant, it was not only her he had to take care of.
"Ok." She nodded, suspicious. She knew he would have let her go on her own if she was not pregnant. Even if she didn't like to have him stuck to her, she couldn't deny she liked the way he took care of her. He was really attentive to her.
They walked to the river and came back. It took them an hour or so.
"Lucas," Alexandra pursed her lips. "Can I tell you something?"
"Since when are you asking me if I allow you to talk?" He chuckled.
"I'm worried." She confessed.
"About what?"
"Don't be mad at me ok?"
"I'm never mad at you." He sighed. Her eyebrows furrowed. "I won't be mad," he swore.
"Aren't you afraid that Mira or the sixers or the phoenix group come after you? After us? I mean you owe them."
"They'll have to find me first. And I owe them nothing. I built the portal, it's not my fault my father destroyed it."
"Why are you suddenly asking about that?" He questioned her.
"Because earlier, I… No it's stupid. And you said there was nothing to worry about," she quickly answered.
"Earlier what?" He insisted.
"I had this strange sensation, like someone was spying on us, following us," she said. "Forget it, it must has been an animal," she tried to reassure him as his face hardened.
"Why you didn't tell me," he asked harder than he intended to.
"I don't know. You haven't seen it. I thought it was my imagination."
"Where was it?"
"I'm not sure…"
"Think Alex. It's important," he commanded her.
"It was just after we left the first stream."
Lucas knew this could happen. He always knew they could come back to him. He had thought he should go and talk to them before leaving with Alexandra. But once he had started his life with her, he had never found the time to go and see them. In reality, he had never taken the time to do it. He wanted to stay with her. He wanted to forget them. Now, they were after him, after them. He stared at her belly, suddenly panicked at the thought of what could happen if they found out Alexandra's pregnancy. Lucas would do what he had to do to protect his family, even if it meant fighting with Mira and the soldiers.
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