Back to Terra Nova

Alexandra was hurt. Every bit of her body was in pain. Her mouth was dry and tasted like rusty blood. Her eyelids were heavy. She tried to open them but she couldn't. She gulped and it burnt her throat, making her cough. She felt a cold hand touching her cheek, bringing something to her mouth.

"Drink." Alexandra recognized Dr Shannon's voice.

The water washed away the bad taste she had in her mouth. She coughed again.

"Thank you," she murmured in a hoarse voice. She tried again to open her eyes. She had to blink many times to adjust to the light. She narrowed her eyes to help the blur to go away. Dr Shannon was standing in front of her.

"Good to see you again. You're very lucky," she lightly smiled. "How do you feel?"

Alexandra remembered what had happened. Her hand ran to her round belly to feel it was flat.

"Empty," she answered, tears coming up.

"Alex, I'm so sorry…" Dr Shannon gave her a sad smile.

"What happened?"

"We tried to save her but…"

"Her?" She asked, stunned.

Dr Shannon cursed herself. Of course Alexandra couldn't have known what she was expecting. But as her doctor, she had to tell her the truth, even if it was not good. "Yes. It was a girl."

'Was', the information sank in Alexandra's body as she understood she had a girl and had lost her. It's was like she had been stabbed in the heart. She tried to breath but she couldn't anymore. Her heart tightened in her chest. It was like she was having a panic attack. Her whole body was shaking and she couldn't control it. Her lips were trembling, her vision blurred with tears. She brushed them away with her shaky hands. The lack of breathing and the sobs made her pale.

"Alex, calm down. Breath slowly, come on, breath."

"Lucas… Where… is… Lucas? I need to see Lucas," Alexandra panted, her heart racing in her rib cage.

Dr Shannon didn't answer. She gave her a drug that made her fall asleep immediately. It was the only solution. She couldn't tell her the same day that she had lost her girl and her boyfriend. Lucas was gone and he was not coming back. She would know soon enough that she was alone.

Alexandra woke up the next day, feeling groggy. She could barely sit up in her bed, every move was painful. Dr Shannon entered the room and helped her to sit properly. Alexandra stared at her as she checked her bandages and wrote instructions on a paper.

"Dr Shannon, what happened?" Alexandra asked. "Don't lie to me. I want the truth," she felt necessary to add. Dr Shannon looked deeply at her and understood Alexandra was ready.

"Alexandra, I need you to be strong. What I have to tell you is not easy to say. I want you to listen carefully to me, ok?"

Alexandra nodded.

"You had an important surgery. Your bullet wound was too deep. Your injury had wounded the placenta. Your child was already dead when you arrived here. There wasn't anything that we could have done to bring her back to life. I am really sorry about that. Fortunately, we saved your uterus so you will be able to have children in the future, which is good news in those circumstances. You have many stitches on your stomach so you need to rest. By rest, I mean that I want you to stay in bed for the next 5 days."

"Where is my daughter?" Using the term daughter sounded strange to Alexandra. But it was what her baby was. A girl. Dr Shannon was startled, she was not expecting this question yet.

"We buried her yesterday. I'm sorry we could not wait for you. But you've been in coma for 5 days now and we couldn't wait any longer for her to be buried. I'll show you her grave when you're able to walk if you'd like."

"Where's Lucas?" Alexandra already knew the answer. If he was still in Terra Nova, he would be sitting next to her.

"I'm really sorry Alex. He's gone." She sighed. "He stayed until I told him you were safe then he left."

"Did he see her?"

"Yes. He saw everything." Dr Shannon confessed sadly.

Lucas was gone. He was gone, abandoning her. He was gone even if he knew she was not going to be ok. She would be alright, physically. But now, she was a mess. She needed him and he was not here. She felt her heart stop. Alexandra shut her eyes. No she was not going to cry again. She had to be strong for her own sake. She took a deep breath before speaking again.

"Did he leave because he wanted to or because Taylor asked him to?" Alexandra had thought a lot about the questions she needed to be answered. That question startled Dr Shannon again. Alexandra was a clever girl, it was obvious. She needed every pieces of the puzzle.

"A little bit of both," Dr Shannon eventually replied after a pause. She hated to see her like that. This girl was too young to go through all of this. "But I'm not the best person to ask to. You should talk to the commander. He is the one who really knows what happened." She wanted to be honest with her. She deserved it. Dr Shannon had disagreed with Taylor when he went to chase Lucas. Even after what he had done to the colony, she knew it would have been good for Alexandra's recovery.

"Am I a prisoner?"

"A prisoner? No, of course not. You're a patient here. And when you're fine, you will be allowed to live here. If you want to, you'll be welcome with us again."

Alexandra wasn't sure she wanted it but knew it was a nice offer from the Shannon's after what she had done to them. A knock on the door made them stop their chat. Commander Taylor entered in the bedroom. Alexandra looked at him with no expression on her face. She hadn't realized how much she didn't want to see him. She didn't want to talk to him. Actually, she wanted him to go away. She lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Dr Shannon, may I have a word with you please?"

"Sure Commander," she replied after a quick glance over to Alexandra, noticing she was avoiding him. They both went outside the room.

"How is she?" He inquired.

"She's going to be fine. She will recover quicker than I thought. She's strong..."

"It was not my question." Taylor cut her off.

"I know what your question was… But as you may have seen it, she doesn't really want to talk about it right now."

"How long?"

"It's not as simple as treating a disease. It will take time. She'll be here for the next 5 days. After, you will have to decide what you want to do with her. But she's 22 now, she's an adult. You can't decide for her. If you want her to do what you want, you will have to convince her."

Taylor nodded and walked into the room. He was ready to confront her. Alexandra glanced at him and immediately looked back to the ceiling. He sat on the seat next to her, fidgeting.

"Dr Shannon said you'll be ok very soon. She said you are really strong." He was trying to sound joyful but he didn't fool her.

"Did you ask Lucas to go away?" She asked in a blank tone, her eyes still locked on the ceiling. Taylor was not expecting her to be that direct.

"I… I just told him it would be better for both of you after what he had done to you if he would leave."

"Done to me?" She turned her head and stared at him, suspicion in her eyes.

"Alex, I know it's going to be hard for you to hear it but… he was the one who shot you. He killed your child, he..." Taylor tried to explain but she cut him off.

"His child. It was his child too. May I remind you it was your grandchild too?" She asked angrily.

"Alex, I am really sad too. But do you really think I could have let him stay here after what happened? I'm sure you don't want a murderer to stay with you," he dared to say.

"You started it. You made him do that."

"No Alex, it's what he really is. You saw how mad he was? It was the real him."

"You know nothing about him." She said harshly.

"You don't want to go back to Lucas, do you?" He asked worried. Alexandra pursed her lips and started to breathe faster than before. She wanted to scream, she wanted to run away, she wanted people to leave her alone. She needed some fresh air. She tried to sit, she wanted to go out.

"Alex, you can't…" Taylor started to say, stopping her.

"Let me go!" She fought.

"Alex, stop it!" He locked her on the bed with his hands. "Lucas is gone. Accept it. Your life is here, with us."

"Screw him, screw you, screw all of you," she cried. "I want you to get out! Leave me alone!" She yelled, her heart hitting her chest, burning it. She wanted to forget the loss of her child, to forget Lucas, to forget Taylor, to forget their fight, to forget everything. She wanted to erase her memory from all of this pain. She struggled but Taylor didn't release his grip until he realized her belly was bleeding.

"Dr Shannon!" He called.

Dr Shannon came in quickly and saw immediately the blood. "Ok, leave us. I need to handle this, just leave us would you?"

Taylor obeyed and walked outside the room, hurt. He didn't mean to yell at her but he was too afraid of losing her again. He had lost his temper. It was not something usual for him. It was something his son could do, not him. What was wrong with him? He couldn't figure out why he felt so close from her. He had lost his son. And for some reason, maybe it was fate, but something or someone had put this girl in his life so he could have another chance to have a child. He didn't want to destroy everything. He would have to regain her trust, no matter how long it would take.

Dr Shannon had bandaged her belly. She stood next to Alexandra, saying nothing, observing her with eyes reflecting care and concern. Alexandra looked at her, her eyes filled with tears.

"I didn't want any of this," she said sadly, shaking her head.

"Alex, we all react to life's challenges in different ways. Some fight death, and some embrace its solace. Some recognize their fate and others do whatever is necessary to alter it. Sometimes we defy others' expectations, and, occasionally, we rise to meet them. But the constant is being true to ourselves. We do what we have to, when we have to. We react for better or worse. You're the only one who can decide what you want to do with your life now."

Alexandra started to cry again, too exhausted to fight, too exhausted to think. Dr Shannon wrapped her in her arms, soothing her. "It's going to be ok Alex. You'll see. It's going to be ok."


Ok it was quite sad, I know. But she's still alive isn't she? And Lucas is gone. Again. But hey, he might not be far. Who knows? Well I do know! You'll find out really soon. Leave me your review and let me know what you thought about this chapter! I always like to read your comments.