Kate was feeding Flora when Caroline came through to tell her that dinner was ready.
"It's nothing special. You know, just some pasta and vegetables in a tomato sauce."
Kate looked up at her and smiled.
"You really do spoil me Caroline. I don't deserve it. And I just want to say that I'm "
"Sssshhhh don't say anything. It's gone, forgotten, no more. Let's just have a nice evening meal together. Come on, give me the baby and I'll put her down."
Caroline bent over and scooped Flora out of her arms. She gave Kate a chaste kiss and then leant forward again and kissed her with more passion. Remembering that she was holding the baby, she stood up and walked away slowly, mindful to the fact that Kate was watching her. She stopped in the doorway and purposefully turned around.
"Don't."
Kate's eyes were pleading with her.
"What?"
The response from Caroline was said with innocence.
"You know exactly what. Do you know what you are doing to me right now?"
Kate bit her bottom lip and stared at Caroline with her chocolate brown eyes.
"I know what I would like to do to you right now but I haven't slaved over a hot stove for a good 30 minutes for nothing you know."
Kate smiled and lay back on the sofa, leaning her head back on the cushions. Hearing Caroline's footsteps on the stairs, she closed her eyes and subconsciously felt her stomach. Gently rubbing her hands up and down she willed the scar to disappear and wondered if it ever would. Sighing deeply, she lifted herself up and walked into the kitchen.
As she was stirring the sauce, Caroline came behind her and put her arms around her waist, pulling her close. She nuzzled into her neck and kissed her.
"What time did you say Lawrence would be home?"
"8pm. Why?"
Caroline gently turned her around and kissed her full on the lips.
"Oh, no reason."
Draping her hands around Kate's neck, Caroline leaned forward and rubbed her nose against Kate's. Slowly and deliberately, she kissed her, slipping her tongue into Kate's mouth, savouring her, tasting her.
Kate moaned and responded, reaching down to feel Caroline's buttocks through her skirt, pulling her close and grinding herself against her.
Caroline reached behind Kate and turned off the heat under the saucepan and picked up Kate's hand. She led her back through to the living room and, kicking the door shut with her foot, she pulled Kate down onto the sofa.
"I have missed you so much."
She traced the outline of her face with her fingertips and lifted her chin up. Kate smiled at her.
"I've missed you too."
"How much?"
Caroline kissed her and allowed her hands to wander down Kate's body, gently feeling her breasts over her top.
"This much."
She felt Kate stiffen as she started to rub her nipples and she stopped.
"OK?"
She nodded unconvincingly and Caroline was surprised to see Kate's eyes filling with tears.
"What's wrong? Oh Kate my love."
Caroline pulled the sleeve of her blouse over her hand and soaked up the tears. Kate shook her head.
"Nothing. Oh, I don't know. I just feel so, well so, unsexy and ugly."
Caroline sat up and stared at her. She smiled slowly.
"You're kidding me. Kate, you are the most beautiful person I know, inside and out. I love you more today than I did yesterday. And I know that I will love you more tomorrow. And by the way, did I ever tell you that you are very pretty?"
Kate smiled and sniffed, licking the tears off her top lip.
"Once or twice. Do you really mean it though? Now, I mean? After everything that has happened."
Caroline nodded and took her face in her hands.
"Huh huh. Now more than ever. After the accident, when you were in a coma, I sat for hours just looking at you and talking to you. I told you so much. My inner most fears and thoughts. Where I saw us in 10 years time. Even where we could go on holiday next year. I am sure some of it sounded silly but I needed to say it. And I know that you couldn't hear me but that was OK. Some of it was probably nonsense and utter drivel anyway. "
Kate took Caroline's hand and kissed her fingers.
"You don't know much I wish that I could have heard you. Everything will be OK won't it?"
Caroline clasped both of Kate's hands in her own.
"Of course it will be OK. And if it's not, if we struggle for a while, we will get through it. And you know what, if you are not ready for this, not ready for us to you know, well that's OK as well. I just want to be here with you. Today and forever."
This time it was Kate who initiated the kiss and she put her hand on the back of Caroline's head and ran her fingers through her hair. When Caroline's hands wandered, she relaxed and let her caress her breasts. She took her time exploring Kate's body, stroking her arms, kissing her passionately. Kate returned the kisses and arched her back, suddenly wanting Caroline more than ever.
When Caroline's hand slipped inside the top of Kate's trousers, Kate once more stiffened and Caroline slowly stroked her stomach, circling her belly button with her finger, all the while kissing her and stroking her cheek with her left hand. She was desperate to make love to Kate.
Kate put her hand on the top of Caroline's and moved it further down until her fingers were inside the top of her panties. Breathless, Caroline pulled away.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Caroline shifted her position and lay down on the settee, pulling Kate beside her. She started to unfasten her belt, hurriedly fumbling with the button.
The front door slammed.
"Mum, I'm home."
"Shit."
They sat bolt upright and straightened their clothes, Kate zipping her trousers back up. Caroline coughed lightly as Lawrence bounded through the living room door.
"Hell… hello love. You're mmm you're home early, I didn't expect you until 8-o-oclock."
Lawrence stopped and looked from Kate to his mum and back again, suddenly feeling a little awkward.
"Yeah, I need my text book for my homework. I'll just, err I'll go and"
And without finishing the sentence, he left the room and headed towards the kitchen before Caroline could say anything.
Caroline looked at Kate and burst out laughing. Her laughter was infectious and Kate joined in until they were both bent double, giggling like two children. Lawrence overheard them from the kitchen and rolled his eyes. His mum could be so embarrassing.
When Caroline woke and looked at the clock, it was 2am. Flora had been asleep for over 6 hours straight and she turned over to face the crib. Kate was wide awake and sat up in bed. She looked at Caroline when she felt her move.
"I'm worried Caroline. She should have woken by now. Shall I wake her?"
Caroline shook her head.
"She will wake when she is hungry. Is she still breathing?"
Kate suddenly panicked and put her head down into the crib.
"Yes. Yes, I can hear her."
Caroline smiled.
"I was kidding! Then leave her. Trust me. If you start to wake her up every 4 hours, she will be 12 years old before she sleeps through the night."
Despite being anxious, Kate smiled.
"Come here."
Caroline lifted her arm, inviting Kate to snuggle into her. She wrapped her arm around Kate, letting it rest just above her breast.
"We're dancing to her tune now Kate. Flora Grace will let us know when she is hungry, when she is tired, when she needs changing. We just have to be there for her."
And right on cue, Flora stirred, wrinkled her little nose and started to cry.
"Do you want me to go?"
Caroline made to sit up.
"No. You go back to sleep. You have work tomorrow. Well today actually. I'll do it."
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely."
Kate kissed her on the nose and got out of bed.
"Come on little lady. Let's get you sorted."
Caroline smiled and watched them leave the room. She couldn't even begin to imagine what life would be like without them. They had become her world, her everything. She turned over and went back to sleep, never stirring until 6am when her alarm clock woke her.
It had been a few days since Caroline had seen her mum. In fact, Celia hadn't been round to the house since the day Kate came home from the hospital. Caroline was almost starting to miss her so when Celia's face appeared at the kitchen window as she was finishing her breakfast, she grinned and rushed to the back door.
"Mum!"
She opened her arms and Celia walked into them, hugging her tightly.
"Hello love. How's things?"
Caroline closed the door and headed back up to the kitchen.
"Fine. Yes, they're good. How are you? And Alan?"
"Oh you know. Up and down from Halifax every two minutes sorting out the messes that Gillian keeps getting herself into. If it isn't her, is something or another with Raff or Ellie or the baby. Oh, and you'll like this one. Her and Robbie are getting married."
"Who is?"
"Well, I'm not talking about the baby. Gillian you daft apeth."
"No! Seriously?"
Celia nodded and folded her arms.
"I said to Alan, I said, don't you go offering to pay for it all. They're both working – let them foot the bill."
Caroline started to clear away her breakfast pots and she turned to face Celia, one hand on her hip the other holding a dish cloth.
"When's all this happening?"
"God knows. Can you imagine what sort of do it will be? Lots of beer and wine and finger sandwiches and pork pie."
Caroline laughed and bent over.
"Oh, don't! Listen, will you be around later? For dinner I mean? It would be lovely to see you and Alan. And for you to see the baby. You won't believe how much she has grown. Honestly! And Kate is getting stronger every day."
Celia hugged Caroline.
"I am so pleased love. Really, I am. Yes we'll be here for dinner. I'll tell Alan."
"Great. I'm looking forward to it. Now, I don't mean to be rude but I have to dash. I have a staff meeting before the start of the school day. Some idiot brought a bag of sweets into school yesterday and tried to pass them off as drugs. We had 2 whole classes running around high on a bag of smarties."
Celia tutted.
"Whatever next? See you later."
Celia let herself out of the back door as Caroline did 3 things at the same time whilst looking at her watch and chastising herself for already being 5 minutes behind schedule.
Caroline didn't really know what to expect when she let herself into the house 9 hours later. She hadn't seen Kate that morning because she was still asleep when she left the house. And when she rang at lunch time, Kate sounded distracted.
"Kate. Hello. How are you? And the baby?"
"Why didn't you wake us? We didn't get up until after 8am."
"Well, you must have needed it. What did you have to get up for?"
Caroline absentmindedly drew her finger over the window frame as she was looking out at the children taking their lunch break.
"Nothing. Well, other than I said that I would meet Elizabeth in town if I had nothing else on. But by the time I had got us both fed and dressed, Elizabeth only had 40 minutes before she had to be at work. So I didn't bother."
Caroline stopped what she was doing and stared at her finger.
"Oh. You never said. How long err when did you arrange this?"
"It was the other day when you were rude to her. I texted her and we said we would meet for coffee. Anyway, do I need to? Tell you I mean? Do you want me to let you know everything I am doing during the day?"
Caroline sighed.
"No. No. I didn't mean that. Of course I don't. Listen I just thought I would let you know that I have invited Mum and Alan for dinner. I hope that's OK. I thought it would be nice, you know, because we haven't seen them for a few days. I will be home by 6 at the latest and I've invited them round for 7. Kate? Kate? That is OK isn't it?"
"Yes. Yes Caroline. That's fine. See you later."
And she was gone.
Caroline hung up her coat and walked down the hallway.
"Kate, are you there?"
"In the kitchen."
Caroline smiled and opened the door. The aroma was delicious.
Kate was standing at the sink with her back to Caroline washing pots.
"Hello my love. Good day?"
Kate turned round and Caroline kissed her.
"What are you doing? You didn't need to do this. I'm only a few minutes late."
Kate shrugged.
"It's no trouble. Flora Grace has been a little angel all day so I had lots of time on my hands. I thought I would help out. And I felt bad for my outburst earlier and for hanging up the phone."
Caroline pulled her into her arms and kissed her again.
"Stop. Stop apologising. Believe me, I know what it's like. Your hormones are all over the place and you don't know whether you're coming or going. You have so many images in your head about what motherhood should be like that you end up driving yourself mad. But you just have to find out for yourself. Everyone's different. Every baby is different."
Kate buried her head into Caroline's shoulder.
"I've been horrible haven't I? Can you ever forgive me?"
"There's nothing to forgive. You can make it up to me later. In the meantime, I'm going to get changed."
Kate swatted Caroline's behind with the tea towel and laughed.
"I'll hold you to that."
As Caroline walked into her bedroom and started to unbutton her blouse, she couldn't help but think about why Kate had arranged to meet Elizabeth but hadn't thought to tell her. It was probably nothing but Kate knew she didn't particularly like her. She was sure that Kate still felt indebted to her for everything she had done while she was in hospital. Either that or Elizabeth was the one wanting the friendship. Either way, it made Caroline feel slightly uncomfortable. Almost jealous.
"So there he was face down in the field, covered from head to do in sheep sh … in sheep muck and this ewe was just standing there cleaning up her new born lamb as if nothing had ever happened."
Kate covered her mouth with the back of her hand and laughed. It was a hearty laugh and she picked up her napkin and dabbed at the corner of her eyes.
"Oh Alan! There really never is a dull moment at the farm is there. So how is Ellie doing at Greenhough's then? This management programme she joined. Is it working out for her?"
Alan wiped his mouth and placed his napkin on the table at the side of him.
"Let's just say that she is whipping our Raff into shape since she started working there. She certainly doesn't stand any nonsense from him."
Caroline pushed herself away from the table and picked up Celia's dinner plate.
"Thanks love. That was smashing."
"Don't thank me. Kate did most of the cooking. I just, well, I just set the table really."
She smiled over at Kate and placed her hand on her shoulder.
"Really? Goodness, when I had had Caroline, and I nearly died you know. Did I ever tell you that? Well I did. But anyway, when Caroline was a baby, I never had a moment to myself. "
Caroline rolled her eyes.
"Well yes mum but that was at a time when you had terry nappies and you had to soak them in that horrible detergent stuff. And then wash them in that antiquated twin tub you used to pull out and plumb in. And sterilising bottles wasn't the same as it is nowadays."
"Oh, I remember that washing machine. Women have it so easy nowadays don't they with all the new fandangled modern things."
Alan coughed but Kate didn't seem perturbed, In fact, she was almost up for the challenge.
"But women face other challenges now Celia. There are so many other different pressures that society places on a new parent. Whether to breastfeed, how soon to wean, whether it's acceptable to go back to work after 4 months, which mother and toddler group to go to."
"Oh we didn't give a stuff in them days about all that nonsense. You had a baby and you looked after it. Mostly on your own. The men didn't do anything. Well, not that that matters in your relationship because there no men."
Caroline shot her mum a look.
"What? I was only saying?"
Alan interjected.
"You were only saying how much you admire Kate for having the time to cook a wonderful meal and make sure that little Flora is happy and contented. Weren't you?"
Celia glared at Alan and then looked back at Kate.
"I suppose so. It's just not the same nowadays is it. Do you want a hand with the washing up love?"
Caroline picked up another plate off the table,
"No, no. I'll just stack them in the dishwasher and sort them out tomorrow morning. You get off home if you want. It was lovely to see you both. We ought to make this a regular thing. Set a night aside where we all sit down and have dinner. Perhaps Lawrence can join us next time."
"Aye that would be grand wouldn't it love."
Alan touched Celia on the arm and almost herded her towards the back door.
Kate followed them, pulling her cardigan around her as if she was cold and folding her arms.
"Night Celia. Night Alan. Thank you for coming."
Alan kissed her on the cheek.
"Night love. Thank you for dinner." And then quieter he said "Sorry about Celia."
Kate shrugged her shoulders and smiled, letting him know that it didn't matter. Celia had said worst things to her in the past. This was almost nothing in comparison.
Caroline stood by her side and put her arm around her shoulder.
"Night mum."
She kissed her mum as she walked past and lay her hand on the top of Alan's arm.
"Thanks for coming. Bye. Bye bye."
Closing and locking the door, she turned round to Kate.
"That was quite a nice evening wasn't it?"
Kate sniffed.
"Was it? Do you think your mother will ever like me Caroline? Ever accept me into the family?"
Caroline pulled her into her arms and kissed her forehead.
"Oh, she already has! This is her way of telling you that you are doing alright in her books."
Kate laughed.
"Well, I wouldn't like to see what she would be like if she didn't like me. I mean, really didn't like me."
Caroline laughed with her.
"Me neither. Let's hope it never happens. Come on, let's go to bed. I have a promise to keep."
