Dick

Oh, this is too much.

"Dude, how the hell did you get in here?"

I grin. I swear, he sets me up for this line on purpose. "Because I'm Robin."

He facepalms, and I grin again.

"If it makes you feel any better, dude, she's as scared as you are."

"Don't you have a Gotham lunatic to beat up?"

"Nah, Bats is going solo today. He said I could have some time to explore the wonderful world around me."

"You're planning to third-wheel."

My grin still hasn't left my face. "Invisibly third-wheel. Do you have any idea how much material this could hold? You might do nothing and it might be a bust, but you also might make out on the top of a Ferris Wheel."

"And what makes you think that would ever happen?"

"Dude, you are about as subtle as a stereotypical bank robber, and I'm smart enough to know that Artemis is having thoughts. I saw her on the cameras I have planted around this place right after your little conversation - smooth, by the way - and she looked freaked. She's into you, dude."

"She might have just been freaked because we're supposed to hate each other."

"Supposed to?"

His telltale ginger blush creeps onto his face and he does his best to ignore it.

"We do hate each other!"

"Yeah. Sure, buddy. I believe you."

"Really?"

"No. Anyway, do you need money?"

"I don't want your charity, rich kid."

"So you're fine."

"Didn't say that."

"So you need money?"

"Didn't say that either. I've probably got enough at home, and you'll be stalking me anyway if I need more."

"Okay, that's one issue done. Next, what are you wearing?"

"Uh… jeans?"

I nod, figuring that this will work. "And your shirt?"

"Flannel?"

Dead silence from me.

"Dick?"

"Wally, if you wear flannel, I will shove a Birdarang so far up your ass…" I trail off, letting him picture that.

"What's your problem with flannel?"

"You know how I feel about flannel."

"Do I?"

"Wally…"

He laughs. "Oh, rich people… fine, no flannel. Then what?"

I think for a second. "Just wear some sort of solid-colored shirt. Keep it simple."

He decides on red, and I nod. "It should work. What do you need to bring?"

"Myself and money?"

I think on this. "Yeah, that seems right. Now onto the important stuff."

"Meaning?"

"Wally, you find Artemis attractive, yes?"

"Sure. That doesn't make me like her more."

I laugh. "Wally, you're a teenage dude. It's okay, I am too, but you can't seriously say that her being attractive has no bearing whatsoever on your opinion of her."

He's silent for a while. "Okay, yeah. Get to the point."

"What are you going to do if you get the signal?"

His eyes go wide. "Artemis would never give me the signal."

"Are you that sure? Where are you taking her to dinner?"

His eyes get wider. "I really should figure that out."

"Dude, with your speed, you can literally take her anywhere in the world for dinner."

"We'll get to that. I'm still curious about this whole 'signal' thing."

"Wally, I'll solve that problem for you really quickly. If you get the signal, you make it happen."

"What do you mean by it?"

"No clue. I'm even younger than you, dude."

"… Do I kiss her?"

I burst out laughing. "Do you want to?"

"… You know what, if that happens, I'll make the decision in the moment."

I laugh again. "Okay, dinner. Ideas?"

"I don't know… nowhere too romantic?"

I grin. I have a plan, but he doesn't know it yet. And if I have my way, he won't until dinner. "Let me handle your dinner plans. I'll make you a reservation in Star City at this Vietnamese place I know. Bruce is friends with the owner, so I can get you in there."

"… Can I trust you?"

"Wally, I'm your best friend. I know what you want."

"Even if you don't," I think to myself.

"Okay… make it for five o'clock. That should give us enough time to get to training."

"I'll make sure Black Canary knows. She'll be fine if you're a few minutes late."

He grins. "Thanks, dude. I'm annoyed that I woke up to find you staring at me, but you've been helpful."

I grin back. "No problem."

He gets up from his bed. "I'm gonna go for a run around the world. I need to destress."

I nod. "I'll see you at a quarter before ten to make sure you haven't done anything stupid."

He nods back. "Later, dude." He speeds off.

I laugh as soon as I hear the Zeta Tube announce his departure.

"Wally West, you have no idea what you've just done."

I pull out my phone. I have a dinner reservation to make.