Wow, sorry for the huge delay. Life just got in the way. I really am sorry. But here we are! The halfway mark of the story and the chapter I have been waiting to write since I had the idea for this story!
This is also the chapter where I am probably going to lose half of my followers, ha ha. I really hope people don't freak out at what happens here and keep reading to see what happens. There will be a bit of an explanation at the bottom in another AN, once you understand what I am talking about.
I am no stranger to silence, in fact it is something I rather enjoy. I prefer it, especially in the company of others. Idle talk aggravates me, I can't fathom its purpose. Yet even I recognize this silence is unusual. The normal routine after a mission is for the others to engage in a torrent of chatter. Bragging about their feats in battle, making jokes at anothers expense. Yet as we que up for the fast travel station, there is only silence.
Were I to make an educated guess, I would conclude that they are all disappointed by the results of the last mission. While we technically did succeed we failed to rescue the drunk snipers companion. I can understand not taking failure well, however it is also illogical to take the blame for the outcome. It was the sniper's fault his companion was captured in the first place. It was his duty to protect the creature and he failed. Not us. Besides, it was an excellent fight. Although I am the only one who seems to appreciate that. Actually that is false, there is another who does.
Athena is beside me, at the end of the que. We just exchanged out kill numbers. She overcame me by three kills. Although even she admitted it was merely a stroke of luck. She just happened to be in an area with more foes than me. Still, the battle was even more invigorating than usual. Our contests have added a new edge that increases my enjoyment even further. Going into battle with the Gladiatrix is something I am quickly coming to anticipate with...eagerness. She challenges me, which is new.
"Oh-Seven-Hundred?" She asks, her face in its usual serious expression.
"Agreed." I nod in the affirmative, a faint grin tugging at my lips. I can see the traces of one on her lips as well, it is nothing more than a twitch, anyone besides me would have missed it. I know she shares my excitement. Our duel will commence tomorrow.
She doesn't waste time on further words before activating the fast travel and disappearing. I follow a heartbeat later. I can already feel my heartrate increase, traces of adrenaline returning to my system at the mere thought of our fight. I cannot be certain, but something tells me…this may be my greatest challenge yet. She may even be what I have been searching for. After the duel I will know for certain, of that I have no doubt.
As my body reconstructs my mind turns towards my new objective. It is something I have delayed for some time. Now I have decided upon a source and plan on completing my mission. Almost without thought I activate my cloak as I begin navigating the streets. It is far easier and more comfortable to move about unseen. I dislike having people's eyes on me.
It only takes me moments to reach my destination. Luckily it is quiet, as the usual crowd will not be arriving for another two hours. They like to clean up and rest for a bit before commencing with the usual night of drinking and celebrations. As of now there are only five patrons in the bar, scattered about the room. None are close to my target.
I decloak on the opposite side of the bar, directly infront of the bartender. To my surprise she doesn't even seem phased by my appearance, she simply gives me one of her regular smirks before speaking.
"Well hey there sugar. Surprised to see you here. What can I do for you? Or to you?" She winks at me, I pay it no heed.
"I have a question/ Blood is rushing to the cheek/ What is the meaning?"
The bartender is my best source of information. She has a good skill for reading peoples behaviours, she has advanced experience with personal relationships. Not only that but she is the confidant of many patrons. It is reasonable to assume she would have the knowledge I seek.
"What?" She cocks her head ever so slightly, a confused look flashes across her face before settling on another smirk. "Wait, do you mean blushing? Are you asking what blushing means?"
"Roses in the cheek/ Caused by ones words or actions/ What is the meaning?" I do not know the word she used. Attempting to clarify is difficult, I hope she understands soon.
"That would be blushing hun." She chuckles faintly, likely amused at my lack of knowledge. "It means…well it can mean a lot of different things. Depends on the person."
So it is a signal that is unique to each individual? This is problematic. That means it will be almost impossible to decipher Maya's reasons for her 'blushes'.
"But in your case, it means she likes you." The bartender grins wickedly at me. I can only flash a question mark to relay my utter confusion. Something which seems to amuse her even more. "I take it you are talking about Maya?"
"Yes." It seems my hunch was correct, she is very apt at reading people. Perhaps too good. I can only hope she gleaned this information from Maya herself and not from me.
"Thought so. Well I can tell you, those blushes, are because she like you."
"Oh." I don't really know what this means. I had already realized that she has developed a 'liking' of me, similar to the others. It was obvious in the way her whole demeanour towards me has changed since we started talking more.
"Romantically hun. She likes you romantically."
It must have somehow been obvious that I was suffering from confusion. I will have to watch my body's reactions more carefully in the future. I may not know much on human relationships, however I do understand the implications of that word. At least some of them. I am…surprised. Very surprised.
"You mean attraction?" I must be sure however.
"Yeah, she is attracted to you." The bartender chuckles again. However I notice her demeanour quickly shifts to one I have not ever seen before. Her face becomes serious and her posture stiffens ever so slightly. "Do you like her?"
I assume she means in the same sense as Maya. I do not answer right away, my mind is currently processing the new information. I am very shocked that she would share in my attraction. What does this signify? Is it another sign that she is my ultimate target? That she is the one I have been seeking? There are doubts to that theory with the appearance of Athena. Just what does this all mean?
If I compile everything I know of attraction then I can surmise the following. Maya is attracted to me because of my skills, because of my character, she has an appreciation for my form- this is a problem. What little knowledge I have does tell me that such attractions lead to relationships. Such things entail the participants revealing themselves to eachother. I would have to reveal myself to her. This is not only irrational, but it could…change everything.
"Alright, I'm just going to take your silence as a yes." The bartender's voice tears me from my thoughts. "I'm just going to say this. I am sure you aren't used to relationships or whatever. But with a girl like Maya, would it really be such a bad thing? Trust me when I say that a relationship with the right person could be the greatest thing you ever do in your life. You're going to have to take a chance, put yourself out there. But it will be worth it, if it's the right person."
All I do is nod in response before leaving the bar. My body moves of its own accord while my mind tries to process all this new information. Maya is attracted to me, like I am to her. It is something that excites me. Excites me like battle, like the flowing blood of my enemies, but it is not the same. This is completely new, something I have never experienced before. It stirs something within me, a desire. I want to…I don't know what this feeling is, what I want, but I know that I want…Maya.
Ever since her injury I have been trying to work out the newest feeling to invade my system, joining the host of others. Were she truly my greatest target then that would mean I would have to kill her. Such an idea has now become…distasteful. Never have I encountered this before. Someone who I do not want to kill.
I do not want her death. So how could she be the target I have been seeking? I have tried imagining fights between us, tried picturing her death at my hands. Each time I find myself unable to even continue with the thought. I know now that I cannot kill her. I do not want to.
So then where does this leave me? Is this all related to my desire for her? Could it really be such a simple…emotion? All along I have just desired to be with the Siren.
I can feel a longing, something within me, something I didn't even know existed has begun stirring this feeling within me. It is telling me to follow the bartender's advice. Her words continue to echo in my mind, their meaning is not lost on me.
Ever since I met the Siren I have begun developing a host of foreign feelings. I still do not know what she is to me. I now know what she is not. She is not the target I have been seeking. How could she be with all these strange desires to see her live?
I do know what would await should I follow this unknown force. But this voice inside me, this urging, it is telling me to take a risk, to experience something I have never experienced before and see where it leads.
I feel…warm at the thought, at the mere idea that Maya is attracted to me, that she cares about me. As I think back on our time together, I try to decipher if this could be true, if there is evidence of Maya's feelings.
I remember her smile during the times I taught her to shoot. Her touch as she cleared away the blood from my mask, saying how she wished she could see my eyes. The fear in her voice when she had seen my decoy killed, thinking it was me. In fact I can remember several instances where she expressed concern over my safety.
That single realization causes me to freeze. Such a thing has never happened before. Nobody has ever been concerned for my safety or well-being before, not once. The very thought makes me smile…makes me happy. It only strengths the voice, the urging inside me to pursue this, to accept these feelings.
Yet there this same voice seems to whisper something else to me. It carries a thought, a hesitation, a fear. One simple realization that could bring everything crashing down, that could ruin all I have begun to hope for. Maya is attracted to a lie.
Breath. In and out, in and out. Everything was going to be fine. This wasn't a big deal. Except that it was! Maya let out another heavy breath as she stared at her reflection. She had been here for about ten minutes now, continually freaking out.
She had made up her mind to talk to Zero today. Right after the mission. Of course then she had decided to clean up first. Which took her two hours. Then she had decided to rehearse what she was going to say. That was another hour. Now she was apparently engaged in a staring contest with herself.
She kept trying to tell herself that it wasn't a bit deal, that she was overthinking it. She tried to remember Moxxi's words of encouragement. But all that was running through her head was the million and one ways she could fuck this up.
The number of bad scenarios she had thought up outweighed the good by a mile. Really there was only one way this could end well. Well at least end in a way that she was happy with. After all good was relative. There was only one way it could end well for her.
This shit was too complicated! She was almost mad at Zero for actually making her be attracted to him in the first place. If it wasn't for him then she wouldn't be standing here driving herself insane! Why did he have to be so damn intriguing? So nice, so patient, so skillful, so powerful, so fucking mysterious. So damn sexy.
I hate you.
Although she really couldn't deny the honesty of that observation. It was funny, earlier she had tried to pinpoint the exact moment she had actually noticed just how attractive Zero was. Well at least his body. She couldn't find a specific moment when it had really hit her.
In the back of her mind she had always noted that he had a nice body, but she had just never given it any attention because of their lack of a relationship. But since getting to know him, since developing these feelings for him, she had allowed herself to finally take full realization of it. Bloody hell did it make missions harder. She had caught herself staring four separate times on the mission. Damn him and those crazy acrobatic moves!
Today also marked one of the few times she had given real consideration to what Zero actually looked like without that suit. Most of her thoughts weren't even that lewd! Most of them. She had tried to envision all the different ways he could look, curious if any of them would affect anything.
Really the biggest complication she could foresee was if he was actually some kind of crazy advanced robot. That could make…certain things more difficult. But she had realized that didn't really change how she felt about him. She still wanted to give this a try. She still wanted to see where this could lead.
Her instincts, her heart, her damn hormones, all of them told her to go for it. It was just her scumbag brain that was making her procrastinate like this.
Logic, she would try logic. What would she gain by not talking to him? Nothing. All that would happen was that she would continue to mentally torture herself, to spend her time wondering what could be.
If she just came out and said it then she would have an answer. There would be no more question, no more wondering. Even if it didn't turn out the way she wanted, at least it would put an end to all this. Yeah it would suck, but at least she would know. It was better than this. Also it would give her the chance, no matter how small, to get the answer she hoped. No way she would get it if she stayed quiet.
"Okay, you can do this." She stared at her reflection a moment longer, summoning all her courage. Letting out a slow deep breath Maya turned from the mirror and left her room.
It wasn't until she had made it into the main room that she came to a very annoying realization. She had no idea how to actually find Zero. He always disappeared the moment they entered Sanctuary and wasn't seen again until the briefings.
Why hadn't she just asked him where he goes?! So now she would have to wander all around Sanctuary hoping to catch a glimpse of him. That was not going to work out, she already knew that.
There were only three people around that she could ask for help. In the briefing room were Lilith and Roland, while seated in the main room, in the corner, was Athena. Maya immediately steered herself into the briefing room.
"Hey Blue," Greeted Lilith with a smile.
"Hey Red," Maya returned the greeting without hesitation. It looked like they had nicknames now. "Roland." She nodded at the ever stoic soldier, who simply returned the gesture. "Have either of you seen Zero?" She decided to just get the question out there before she lost her nerve.
"Nope," Lilith was the first to answer. "I have no idea where that guy disappears to. I don't think anybody does. Well maybe his fellow assassin does." Lilith glared in the direction of Athena, the hate was palpable in the air.
"He only ever shows up when I call a briefing. Nobody knows where he goes between missions." Roland was quick to add in, likely in an effort to steer the conversation away from Athena.
"Alright, thanks." Maya tried not to let her disappointment show, after all she wasn't surprised they hadn't known. She just knew the odds of finding him on her own were practically non-existent.
"You know," Lilith began slowly before glancing over a Roland. "You could call a briefing. Once Zero shows up just dismiss everyone."
"Why would I call a fake briefing? That's a-"
"Roland." Lilith's tone was somewhere between amused and annoyed.
"Alright." Roland sighed in defeat, shaking his head faintly.
"That's not necessary," Maya interjected quickly. "I'll just find him on my own, don't worry about it." It was nice that Lilith was willing to make a fake call to everyone just to help her out, but she didn't want to annoy everyone else just to find Zero.
"It's not a problem at all," Lilith flashed another smile, but this one was…different. Almost a smirk, like she knew something funny that nobody else did.
"It's fine," Maya waved the offer off. She really didn't want to involve more people than necessary in this. "I'll find him." She quickly waved goodbye to the two before another offer could be made.
She knew the odds of finding him on her own were low, but she really didn't have a choice at this point. Heading back into the main room she once again noticed Athena sitting in the main room. Which was odd, the assassin was usually as absent as Zero.
She was simply sitting on a chair in the corner, her hood pulled up to hide the majority of her face. Her red sword was across her lap and her shield was affixed to her arm. She looked like she was just…waiting for something.
Maya decided to swallow her stupid jealousy and approach the woman. Athena was her best bet at finding Zero. If anyone could find an assassin it was another assassin. The gladiatrix immediately looked up as Maya's steps brought her within several feet of the woman. Maya stopped in her tracks. Athena's look wasn't exactly hostile, it just said 'don't come any closer.'
"Hey Athena." She began rather awkwardly, even adding in a ridiculous wave. She was utterly terrible at this.
"Hello." Athena's voice was completely level and controlled, not a hint of emotion.
"Hey, I was…uh…wondering if you had any idea where Zero was?" Maya really wanted to slap herself for coming across as so timid and nervous. This should have been easy, at least compared to what she was going to do later.
"I haven't seen him." Her tone hadn't changed in the slightest, her posture or positioning hadn't changed a millimeter.
"Oh." Why had she been expecting any different? Maya felt like an idiot now. "Well…if you see him, can you let him know I want-need to talk to him." Yeah need sounded better, sounded more important. Which this was. She really just wanted to get it out there, no more wondering, no more mental torture.
"I have his echo frequency. I can call and see where he is." Athena's expression had changed slightly now, it had become…something akin to curious. But it was such a minor change that Maya thought she may have legitimately imagined it.
"That would be great!" It was kind of weird using Athena as a go between to find Zero, but Maya wasn't about to turn down a chance to actually find him. It was better than wandering around the streets for hours on end.
Athena simply nodded in response before activating her echo unit. "Athena calling Zero. Over." There was no more than a second of silence before she spoke again. "Maya wants your location. Over."
She really wished Athena wouldn't word it like that. Surely there was a way to say it that was less…formal. She just wanted to talk to him. Okay it was kind of serious what she wanted to talk about but…this whole situation was just weird and she didn't know how to deal with it. Maya was also very aware of just how quickly Zero had responded to Athena's call. She really tried to not read too much into it. She was partially successful, but her brain was pretty good at shoving all that aside for the moment.
This time the silence was longer. Athena's posture did not shift in the slightest, but there was the smallest furrow of her brow. If Maya hadn't been staring to intently then she would have completely missed it.
So now she had to try and figure out if Zero was saying something odd or Athena was confused by the lack of response. Maya did her best not to fidget, to not overthink everything. This was just awkward and she didn't like it. She would actually prefer the conversation with Zero as opposed to this.
"Copy. Out." Athena began tapping on her echo device for a few seconds. Maya then heard the familiar ping of her own echo device receiving a new waypoint. "He is at those coordinates."
"Thank you!" Maya replied quickly, staring at the device a moment before glancing back up at the gladiatrix.
Athena's only response was to nod firmly. Not wanting to waste anytime Maya was quick to leave the room and that whole awkward atmosphere behind. She knew where Zero was now, it was time to do this. Of course that resolve lasted until she made it out the door, then her heart started hammering in her chest and he brain was yet another storm of scenarios.
Although this new freak out wasn't as bad as the previous ones. Perhaps her stupid brain had finally run out of new ways to torture herself. Whatever the reason, she wasn't freaking out any more than she had already been doing all day. She tried to focus on calming her breathing, on figuring out exactly what she was going to say. Or rather rehearsing it. She already had her whole speech planned out.
The coordinates led her to the edge of the city. The coordinates pointed to the top of a small cluster of buildings that had just narrowly avoided falling off when the city lifted off. They were likely abandoned now due to probable instability. But Maya didn't even register that as she opened the front door and ascended the stairs. When her Echo device told her she was at the right level she opened the door to come out onto the building's roof. There were three buildings around them, each of equal height.
She immediately saw Zero standing at the edge of the building, staring out at the setting Pandoran sun. There was a red glow about it tonight, giving off a rather pretty sight. But that was secondary to Maya, all her attention was focused on Zero. He gave no reaction to her entrance, but she knew that he was aware of her. Taking a deep breath she slowly approached.
"Hey Zero," She said softly, suddenly overcome by an annoying amount of shyness. It was infuriating.
"Hello," His response was flat, but that wasn't exactly new. The voice synthesizer made sure very little emotion was ever in his voice. He remained exactly where he was, making no physical reaction until Maya came up beside him and he turned his head to regard her.
"I, uh…was wondering if we could talk." Dammit she was really bad at this. Her only response was a firm nod, so she decided to swallow this stupid lump in her throat and continue. "So we have known eachother for a while now."
Great start, because you know soooo much about him.
"And okay, yeah I don't actually know that much about you-"
Don't actually say that you idiot!
"But I want to get to know you!"
Better, now say something nice about him.
"I already know that you are nice, when you want to be. At least you have been to me. Over the time we have been together…well." At that exact second every single thing Maya had planned to say disappeared from her mind. Instead she simply opened and closed her mouth several times, nothing but silence stretched between them for what felt like an eternity.
JUST FUCKING SAY IT!
"Zero I like you!" The words tumbled out of her mouth, probably coming off somewhere between an angry shout and impassioned plea. But it was out there. Finally. Her heart was beating faster and harder than ever before, trying its absolute hardest to break right out of her chest. On some level she was aware that she began holding her breath as Zero simply stared.
"I am surprised/ affection not unwelcome…"
Maya's heart skipped a beat as she heard those words. Everything she had hoped for, it was coming true! Her affection wasn't something he was scared of or going to turn away! He wanted it, he-
"But not possible."
Her whole body froze. This time her heart didn't skip a beat, it felt like it was actually going to stop. All her thoughts ground to a halt at once, her ability to think clearly was utterly destroyed. Instead of thinking properly, she simply babbled out a single word. "What?"
That single word somehow rebooted her brain and the flood of confusion almost knocked her over. This didn't make sense! He had said her affection was not unwelcome. That should mean that he appreciated it. If he appreciated it and welcomed it then he must have some kind of feelings for her. So why was it not possible? Yeah it would be difficult but it shouldn't be-
Zero looked back to the sunset as he answered. "Your feelings misplaced/ you do not know who I am/ you do not know what."
"I don't care who you are!" Maya shouted desperately, her emotions fully taking over at this point.
She understood that he was scared, she was too. She wasn't blind to the fact that he was even less comfortable with this than she was. Revealing his identity, who he really was, it was something she just knew he had never done before. But she needed him to know that she wasn't going to run away just because he was going to look different.
"I don't care what you look like Zero. My feelings for you aren't going to change because of that. I know you aren't human, but that doesn't bother me." She had fully turned to face him, trying to lock eyes with him, but he still refused to look back. "Let me get to know the real you. I like you…and I think you like me too. Give this a chance."
It wasn't until this moment that Maya finally realized it. His posture was hunched the tiniest amount, the usual rigidity easing up. The faintest tone change that had been present in his voice. His refusal to look at her. Scared. Zero was actually scared. It seemed too ridiculous to even consider, but she couldn't deny what she sensed from him right now. He was truly scared over the idea that she would reject him if she ever saw his face. She needed to show him, needed to reassure him. He needed to know that she wouldn't turn him away just because he looked different.
"Zero," She tried to let her sincerity show in her voice.
She also did what may have been the riskiest thing she had ever done. Maya slowly reached out her hand, tentatively but affectionately stroking his mask, letting her hand rest where she thought his cheek would be.
She had only ever touched him twice. Neither had been nearly this intimate. Amazingly she could actually feel him lean ever so slightly into her hand, his whole body shifting slightly towards her, seeming to seek more of the comfort she was offering. It made Maya smile like she never had before, warmth spreading through her whole body.
"I don't care who or what you are," She continued softly. "I just want the chance to know the real you."
In a heartbeat Zero went completely rigid, taking a sudden step back, destroying all contact between them. His body seemed to shake ever so slightly, as if trying to rid himself of some sensation. "No." For the first time ever his voice was shaky, even the synthesizer couldn't hide it.
"Zero please! I promise-"
"I'm not what you think/ this is all an illusion/ feelings are not real."
"Would you stop with the fucking haiku's for one minute!" Maya exploded before she even had the chance to think about her words.
She instantly felt rage flooding through her at the accusation. How dare he say her feelings were not real! Just because he was scared didn't mean her feelings were a lie.
"Don't you dare tell me what I do and don't feel," She was practically growling as she glared at him. Stop it you colossal bitch! He is terrified. Help him.
Maya immediately felt like shit for her outburst. Taking a deep breath she took a step towards him, feeling herself calming as she looked at him. She noticed how his who body once more showed just how scared, how vulnerable he was. They were fully facing eachother now.
"Just give me a chance," She whispered, reaching her hand out to him again. "Let me prove you wrong." His four fingered hand wrapped around her wrist, stopping her from touching his visor. But there was little strength behind the action, she could feel the faintest tremble in his hand, down his arm.
"Please Zero." She stared into his visor, where she felt his eyes were. She knew they were locked. With everything she had, she beseeched him.
She understood that he was scared, understood his hesitations. He was an assassin. So much of his life depended on secrecy, he was so used to nobody seeing his true face. But she would not be deterred.
She knew that these feelings were not some silly crush. In fact the more he resisted the more she was certain. Her feelings were not going to change just because of his appearance. She wanted to be with him, to know the real him. She wanted it more than anything.
Silence seemed to stretch between them for an eternity. Maya had no idea how long they simply stood there, staring at eachother. Finally Zero released her hand and stepped back in a single action.
For a brief moment she was actually scared he would try to run. She could still feel the fear coming off him in waves. However the only thing that moved were his hands, slowly reaching up to his helmet. The left traveled to the back and a second later there was a hissing sound as the helmet depressurized. Maya felt her breath hitch as she watched.
His hands visible trembled as they grasped the helmet tightly, lifting it free at an agonizingly slow pace. Maya was rooted to the spot, her breath held as she watched, utterly captivated. She had imagined this so many times in the past few days. Everything she hoped for was coming true.
She knew that no matter what was revealed, whatever he looked like, her feelings weren't going to change. She just knew that there was something between them and she was not about to let something so stupid get in the way of that. But she was still extremely curious and excited to see what was revealed beneath the helmet. When it finally came free, Maya's breath caught.
She honestly had no idea why she was doing this. It was odd. Sure she had stalked people before, but that was always with the intent of assassinating them. This…she was just following for no real reason beyond curiosity. Athena never would have imagined herself doing something so ridiculous. But here she was, following the Siren as she went to meet Zero.
Athena wasn't sure why the sudden compulsion had overtaken her. Her instincts just said to follow and she was smart enough to not ignore those. Maya entered into a building at the edge of town.
Athena had a feeling that Zero would be on the roof, he seemed to like those settings. Therefore Athena moved to the next building and quickly began scaling it. Luckily these buildings weren't exactly built to make climbing difficult. Fifty-two seconds later she was pulling herself onto the roof.
She scanned the next building, immediately locking onto her targets. Athena positioned herself behind what was probably the buildings power unit. It was enough to keep her hidden but the small gap between two pipes gave her a clear view. Her perfect vision gave her a good understanding of the situation but she decided to be more efficient by pulling out her rifle and watching through the scope.
Zero and Maya were currently talking, well Maya was talking at least, it was impossible to confirm if Zero was. Athena noted that Zero's posture was…wrong. It wasn't as alert, not as prepared to spring into action any second.
There was something utterly foreign in it and it made Athena feel uneasy. It made her feel like she needed to go to him and shield him from some foe. But he wasn't under any physical threat. The only person there was Maya. Could her words be having this effect of Zero? That seemed unlikely, but at the moment there was no other explanation. Not only that, but why would Athena ever need to protect Zero, he was more than capable of handling himself. Most odd.
She watched motionlessly as the conversation continued. She was wishing that there were a way for her to hear the actual conversation. It would be much easier if she knew what this was all about.
Two seconds later Athena's eyes actually widened as Maya's hand reached out to touch Zero's visor, right about where his cheek would be. Well that certainly answered some questions. Did the siren have feelings for Zero? What other reason would she have for touching him so…affectionately.
Janey had once touched Athena like that, and the junkers intentions had been clear. It was Janey who had taught her how to see things like this, to actually be able to identify such intentions. To recognize that they could exist…within her as well. She would always be thankful to the junker for that.
It was because of these…lessons that Athena was able to recognize what was happening before her. This was likely a confession of feelings, an attempt at a relationship. At least judging by the hesitancy she could see from the Siren and even Zero. She could also assume it was the Siren doing the confessing. Athena's eyes were locked on Zero, watching for his reaction.
He stepped back in a sudden and swift movement, destroying the contact initiated by the Siren. Was he rejecting her? The idea did seem oddly pleasing to Athena. She found herself enjoying the assassins company and the prospect of him spending less time with her in favour of Maya was…displeasing.
"Would you stop with the fucking haiku's for one minute?!" Maya's voice was full of anger and annoyance as she shouted. Athena's perfect hearing easily picked up the raised voice.
She actually considered pulling the trigger as she shifted her sight back to the Siren. What right did she have to yell at Zero? He was far more skilled than any of the other vaulthunters, he was far more impressive in every way. She did not have the right to be angry at his chosen speech pattern. Athena actually enjoyed his unique way of speaking. Maybe she should tell him that, let him know that she wasn't like this Siren.
Athena waited eagerly to see Zero's next move. She hoped he left, finished his rejection of the Siren. If he did then Athena could…well she didn't really know what she could do. But there was just something within her that didn't want Zero to accept whatever the Siren was offering.
It wasn't like she held any ill will towards Maya, there was just something about Zero that felt special. Somehow if he and the Siren were together it would ruin…whatever it was Athena's body was trying to tell her.
Maya reached out again but this time Zero's reached out to grab her hand, stopping her. Athena could see his arm trembling faintly. What could cause that? Was he scared? Why would he be scared of the Siren and what she was attempting to do? Why would he be scared of anything?
As Zero stepped back once more, his hands travelling to his helmet, Athena realized everything. He was scared to show his face, he was scared of revealing his identity to anyone. She knew that he had never revealed his face to anyone, every aspect of his identity was a secret. Perhaps even a portion of him was scared of Maya's reaction.
He must be considering her reaction, it looked as though he was about to remove his helmet. But why was he doing that in the first place? Was the Siren forcing him? His appearance shouldn't matter! If the Siren had true feelings for him then she wouldn't need to see his face. If Athena were with Zero then she wouldn't force him to reveal himself!
Wait, where had that thought come from? She had no desire to be with Zero. True, she admired him in many ways, he was the first person she had ever met who could challenge her so thoroughly. The first person who seemed to be a kindred spirit.
Perhaps she would have considered being with him, were it not for one major flaw, well not flaw, but obstacle. Zero was male. Athena had never been attracted to males before. Admittedly she had admired his form, but that was from a purely unemotional stand point. A simple observation, nothing more.
The helmet came free and Athena couldn't tear her eyes away from the image that presented itself to her. Unconsciously the gladiatrix's jaw fell open. Wow.
Maya stared, wide eyed as she drank in the sight. Zero's skin was a warm almond colour, with the utterly blemish free look of polished marble. The face was angular, a perfect contrast of sharp and soft features. Tapered ears stood out from under the strands of snow white hair that escaped their tied confines.
Startling violet eyes sucked Maya in for a long moment. There were no whites, no pupils, those angled eyes were just a single stunning shade of the richest violet. They were a perfect mix of beautiful and incredibly unnerving.
Altogether, Zero's face was utterly beautiful…and very feminine. Despite the alien appearance, it was undeniably feminine. But that was impossible! Surely Maya would have noticed by now…
"You're a woman?" The words tumbled out of her mouth unbidden, simply coming forth at the same second she made the realization.
Zero's violet eyes looked down, avoiding the surprised gaze. "Now you know the truth."
If Maya had any lingering doubts they would have all disappeared at the sound of Zero's voice. Without the synthesizer of the helmet it was undeniably female. It had an incredibly ethereal quality to it, Maya had never heard anything that came close to compare.
She was at a complete loss of words. What could she say? All this time she had thought Zero was a man. Yes she had considered dozens, probably hundreds of possibilities, alien, robot, cyborg, some kind of monster, the combinations were limitless. But never once had she considered he was actually a woman.
"Your feelings were misplaced. What you thought you cared for does not exist. The illusion is dispelled." Zero looked back up, their eyes meeting. The brilliant violet colour now had the faintest sheen to them, the sparkle of tears threatening to form.
Zero's form suddenly shimmered then vanished completely. Maya immediately knew the assassin was fleeing, but her body refused, was unable to move, to do anything but stare dumbstruck. Zero was a woman. All this time, all these feelings that Maya had for Zero, whom she thought was a man, were actually for Zero the woman.
Her mind was a hurricane and her emotions were caught up in the storm. What did this mean? She had never been particularly attracted to women before. She had certainly never had these kinds of feelings for one. But then she had developed these feelings thinking Zero was a man. So…what did she feel now?
Her head was still spinning from the revelation, that alone was a huge shock. She had been mentally preparing herself for him being a robot or something equally difficult. She had spent so long just coming to terms with her feelings for Zero, the man. But this…how did she deal with this? She hadn't prepared for this at all. What did she do now?
As she formed that final question her entire mind seemed to focus on one thing and one thing only. The image seemed to suddenly burn itself in her mind. The look in Zero's eyes just before disappearing. The look of utter pain, of sorrow, the tears that were trying to form.
You utter bitch! Zero had revealed his-her deepest secret, she had put herself on the line like never before. She had done that because Maya had promised it would not change her feelings, that she would not turn Zero away just because of what he-she looked like. Yet what had Maya done as soon as she saw Zero's face? Stood there like an idiot, unable to even deny the statements. Too pathetic to even try and stop Zero from fleeing.
In a subtle way Zero had admitted to having feelings for her. Maya had promised that she would not reject Zero based on his-her appearance. But now, with her silence and shocked staring, she had probably just confirmed everything Zero had been so scared of!
Something within her snapped and Maya's whole boy came alive. She bolted down the stairs and out the door, her head scanning every nook and cranny. She had to find him! She had no idea what she was going to say, but she had to do something. She had fucked everything up! Everything was so wrong. She needed to fix it somehow, she had to find him-her!
Athena found herself unintentionally holding her breath as the helmet came free. Her eyes widened as she beheld the sight before her. Both sharp and soft features, warm almond skin, snow white hair, tapered ears, stunning violet eyes. Zero was…beautiful. But also female? That couldn't be right! Perhaps it was just his alien appearance made him appear more feminine. Male or female, Athena couldn't deny how breathtaking Zero was.
Zero's form shimmered and disappeared, leaving Maya standing there, who made no reaction to even try and stop him. Athena wasn't so idle. She immediately shot up from her position, putting her rifle away as she scaled back down the building in nine seconds. She hit the ground running, knowing her exact destination.
Part of Athena was confused about just why she was reacting this way. But that part was quiet, her instincts told her to go after Zero and she wasn't about to question them.
In Zero she had found a kindred spirit, someone she could see herself…being around. She wasn't sure in what capacity, but she knew that right now she had to see him. As she neared the fast travel station she saw Zero's form for half a second before it digistructed away. Athena was inside the station five seconds later. She immediately pulled up the last activated destination and without hesitation, she followed.
So, who saw that coming?! Ha ha.
So I know some people are probably going to be pissed that I made Zero a woman. But that was always my intention with this story. I have read lots of good fics that go with him being an alien and I like the idea! But very few have him being a woman, at least that I have read. Those that do are usually filled with comedy and light heartedness. I wanted to explore the idea in a slightly more serious way. I really hope people keep reading and continue this journey with me! But I understand that this may not be what you signed up for. If that's the case, thank you for sticking with me this long!
Zero being a woman is actually the reason I wrote her points in first person to begin with. I wanted it hidden until this moment. Very hard to do in any other perspective, ha ha.
Now, for those who are going to stick with me, thank you!
If you are curious about what Zero looks like, I based her a bit off the Eldar from Warhammer 40K. Also from the elven ranger in Warhammer Vermintide, look her up and you will get a pretty decent idea of what she looks like.
I just wanted to give another big thank you to all those who follow, fav, and review! Your words of encouragement have been incredible and I truly appreciate it!
I promise the next update will be soon! This is where the story gets REALLY fun!
Stay Classy!
