.: Illuminate :

I am tired of this place, I hope people change
I need time to replace what I gave away
And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small
Though I try to resist I still want it all


Once Nico came back to his cabin, he changed his clothes. He could faintly smell lavender. He couldn't keep a broad smile off his face, and imagined that if he went to Jason, the son of Jupiter will tease him immensely.

As he plopped on his bed, he shifted. Did he sound like a whiny guy? Gods, what if Will hated that? Frowning, Nico started to worry. Usually the outcome will be better than what you were thinking, right?

Taking a breath, he relaxed, eager to stop worrying about his life. His eyes fluttered, shut, as he anticipated a good rest. That was his mistake.

XxXxX

Dreams. They were a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep. Well, in this case, there was slight confusion, as if Nico knew that it wasn't real. Or maybe it was, but his conscious was the reminder.

His body felt pleasantly warm, as if he were sitting by the fire on a snowy day. Hm, he actually never did that. It sounded nice, though...

And, wow, there was Percy. Perseus Jackson. The older boy looked unfairly beautiful, as if that word could do justice. Messy black hair, blue hoodie, and familiar sea-green eyes - well, that was the definition of heart-stopping-and-dumbly-hyperventilating-like-a-little-school-boy crush.

"Hey, Nico," Percy said casually, acting like they both were on good term. His eyes sparkled with mischief, which immediately made Nico's heart deflate. Not real. "How are you doing?"

Nico couldn't help but look away, so Percy didn't see the pinkness spread across his face. His heart was drumming as it always did when the son of Poseidon was around. "Good."

"Really?" Percy leaned closer in, which was far too close. "Great. Because I want you."

Nico's breath hitched, and he backed away. Apparently, wherever this dream took set, it was somewhere in water: Percy's domain. Percy insistently advanced, giving a chaste kiss across his lips. His lips tingled afterwards.

"W-Why did you do that?" Nico asked.

The green-eyed boy seemed amused. "What do you think?"

"No, I'm not . . . I don't . . ." Like you, Nico wanted to say. But he couldn't. And as much as he wanted to escape, the nearness of Percy just made him melt, as if he could truly belong and enjoy another person by him. Without dying, or running away. Containing that piece of naïveté that reassured that this was still Percy; this was everything that he wanted to have, but didn't. Couldn't.

That this was just a dream.

So he let Percy control him. He lost the resistance, because for once, he wanted to know what it was like to stop running from himself.

Percy aligned their bodies, trailing his hand faintly over Nico's chest, pausing at the groin area. "Do you want me to?"

Nico was tempted to agree. At this state, it dazed him. "I -" No. Nonono. "Yes."

XxXxX

Idiot.

What were you thinking?

Or to be more exact, What were you dreaming?

Nico rubbed his face, feeling a bulge in his pants. Really? The worst part was, he enjoyed the whole dream! Why couldn't it be at least with him and Will? But Nico knew in his heart he still wasn't over the green-eyed boy.

"Ah, poor Nico," a voice said.

Nico jumped at the sound of the feminine voice, and spun around to see Aphrodite.

"Obviously you're confused about your love life," Aphrodite cooed. She flicked her wrist, and immediately a white table and two chairs appeared. On the table was tea and crumpets.

Nico stared.

"Stop gaping, and sit down," Aphrodite admonished. "Is it so hard to believe I'll help you?"

"Well ... my life does suck," Nico mumbled.

"Don't worry! That's why I'm here to help." Aphrodite patted her hair absentmindedly. "I take it you're dating the Will boy?"

"Uhm, maybe. I don't know -"

"Apollo approves! Although your father isn't exactly keen on you dating a doctor, it's better than, and I quote, 'that Percy with-kelp-for-a-brain boy'." Aphrodite's lips curved into a smile. "Oohh, you awkward demigods are so cute! You still have a crush on Percy, right?"

Nico didn't love goddesses meddling in his personal life, such as dating and crushes. He carefully decided his vague answer: "Maybe."

Aphrodite clucked her tongue. "It's a simple question! But . . . very well. Deny it all you want."

"It's just . . . I try to get over him, but he's always on my mind. I can't move on."

"Or you don't want to. We have much time to talk, so you can tell me everything."

How therapeutic. Nico sipped from his cup of tea, not realising that he was thirsty. As he began to tell the tale of how he looked up to Percy, all the way to admitting his sexuality, he received nods and 'go on'.

Once the story was finished, Aphrodite was buzzing with glee. "Oh my goodness, you are just so adorable! I could dress you in a pink tutu and bow tie!"

The son of Hades was horrified by this, but covered it up with a wilted smile. "I don't think I want to face Percy again. The reason why I'm still hung up on him is because I know he's unattainable. With Will, it's difficult because he may like me the same way but I'm just scared."

"I don't believe you're afraid to love anymore, Nico. You overcame it. But I do think you're afraid of what other people think."

"People accept me for who I am," Nico whispered. "But there's always someone who doesn't."

"That is true. Let me tell you something: love is love. It doesn't matter who you are with, just as long as you both are happy. You don't need acceptance from people who are just going to hate. They should understand if they care for you."

"So . . . you and Ares?"" Nico asked skeptically. "You guys are happy?"

"It's normal to have fights."

"Ones that involve shooting at -"

"Honestly, we're focusing on your love life. Mine is content. In fact, do not fret, because I will help you."

Oh gods. "Help?"

"Yes. You see, I have a few tricks up my sleeve."

And that was what Nico most feared. Nobody could tell what Aphrodite will do.


A/N: If you already noticed, I edited this story (although it's not revised completely). Some parts are suspiciously strange, like the last chapter filled with clichés. Cringe-worthy? Yes. It's kind of my old writing that has a sentimental value. And my writing (I hope) does get better as we progress through the last few chapters. Oh, and I realised I made Nico, hm, kind of dislikable. I made him whiny, which was never the plan. I hope I portray him better, but note that after everything happened, such as the Gaea war, or facing Cupid, there could be a familiarity with trauma (which I badly show once again).

One of these days, I will create a Solangelo story that shows him more isolated and having sign effects of everything he experienced. That includes Percy. Percico? Well, depends. Percy should also be in a difficult state, because he watched his friends die, had lots of pressure, and trauma from going through the Underworld.

I was reading Takara-Phoenix's post, and she made highly good reasons why she does not write Solangelo. She is so true. Nico couldn't be over Percy, because he admitted that he loved the son of Poseidon. In front of Cupid, god of love. Also, Will Solace might have been fitted into the role as a boyfriend just so Nico could have someone. Believe me, I am not against Solangelo. Compared to the number of fanfics I read, I ship them. More on FanFiction than the books, lol. I'm just thinking that maybe one story should incorporate that Nico is not yet done with Percy, and Solangelo should get together slower. I write fast-paced, so I'm not a good person to write it. But it's just a thought in mind. While I'm on a rant at the moment, I appreciate that Reyna is a single character but still displayed powerfully. She will probably find love, since every character seems to have one - and she deserves it. Admittedly, she is my favourite female character out of anyone. I don't know if Rick Riordan will write about her - maybe just mention the Romans. What I fear is that since Jason/Piper/Hazel/Frank/Reyna, etc. were used for the Heroes of Olympus series, they will not show anymore. Conveniently, Piper and Jason went to school in Los Angeles just when Leo Valdez finally arrived. I have a feeling that the Trials of Apollo uses characters that most people favourite. Percy, Apollo, Leo, Nico (w/ Will), etc.