Crawling in hell
Alexandra suddenly woke up, gasping for air, her face covered in sweat. Where was she? It was dark around her, wet and stinky. It took her a moment to remember what had happened. Her parents, Lucas, the betrayal, then Gordon. She touched her head with her hand at the memory of him. She could feel a bump on her forehead. She slowly stood up and put her hands in front of her, trying to reach what was in front of her. Walls, everywhere. She was stuck. A tiny light made its way under what looked like the door. She placed her wrist near the door and read the time on her watch. It was 7 in the morning. She had been unconscious the whole night. She could feel her body was weak and she felt dizzy. She had not eaten or drunk for almost 2 days. The lack of food and water was giving her a huge headache. Or maybe it was because of the hit of her head. Maybe both, she wasn't sure.
"Think Alex, think," she commanded to herself. She had to find a way to get out of this place. Alexandra had to escape and she would find a way. Digging was impossible, everything around her was made of stone. Her only way out was the wooden door. She had seen how thick the wood was, she could not break it. There was only one solution left. She just had to be patient and it would work. She sat in the middle of the room and waited, praying for her plan to work well. When Gordon came back to her cell an hour later, she stayed on the ground, not moving.
"Stand up," he commanded her. She didn't look at him and didn't move. He leant down to her and grabbed her arm to pull her up. She used his pull as leverage and punched him as hard as she could in the face, making him stumble. She tried to run out of the cell but he jumped behind her and managed to catch her ankle. She fell heavily on the ground, losing her breath. He pulled her back to him as her hands were scratching the ground to stop herself. He leaned to her and his big hands quickly strangled her, making her suffocate. She tried to struggle but it was in vain. He was much stronger than her and his grip tightened more and more on her throat. She started to see stars and lights everywhere, she was fainting. In a last moment of lucidity, she dug her nails into his flesh and penetrated so deeply that he had to release his grip. She took advantage of this brief moment of respite to catch her breath and turned, trying to crawl away from him.
He didn't give her much time and grabbed her hair pulling her up, making her scream in pain. Furious, Alexandra spat on his face, slapping him. The guard immediately punched her in return. She felt her lips split and blood pool in her mouth. He looked at her angrily and punched her a second time, right in the eye this time. He dropped her hair, she fell down and nearly collapsed. Her head was spinning, she could tell her cheek was badly injured, it was burning her and her sight was blurred. He came closer to her and she put her hands in front of her, trying to defend her from another punch. But he didn't hurt her, instead he grabbed her arm, pulled her up, and dragged her out, in the direction of the Phoenix headquarter.
Lucas had asked Gordon to go and bring Alexandra to him. When he heard the guard coming, his mood lightened immediately. He was going to see Alexandra and he was pleased. He didn't like the idea of her being in the cave, yet it was the best place to protect her. She would be away from the problems and would not do anything reckless there and he would deal with her parents during this time.
"Alex," he said softly, as he walked to her. She was looking down at the ground, refusing to look up at him. "Alex?" He said much more forceful this time but she still didn't move. "Would you just look at me for a second?" He sighed, feeling anger coming, his hand came to her face to tilt her chin up so her eyes would meet his, but she looked away, eyes filled of tears. His face closed off and hardened as he noticed the wounds. He felt fury boiling to surface when he saw her face covered in blood and bruises. He stared at her for a moment in disbelief, his breathing becoming erratic. Lucas looked furiously at Gordon and quickly approached him, pushing him violently against the wall, his hand strangling his throat. "What the hell did you do to her?" Lucas was smaller than Gordon, yet his madness was giving him an unknown strength.
"She tried to escape," he replied, his voice cracking under the pressure on his throat. Despite his imposing size, Gordon was clearly scared. He knew he had crossed the line and knew the reputation of Lucas, his temper was legendary.
"You should have never done that," Lucas said madly. He withdrew his hand from his throat only to be able to give him a punch in the stomach. The guard doubled over in pain. Lucas lifted the head of the guard to strike him in the face. The guard fell down and Lucas kicked him, yelling at him, spitting a word between every kick. "I… Told… You… Not… To… Touch… Her". Lucas hit Gordon until he ended unconscious. Lucas turned his head to look at Alexandra and saw nothing. He spun around, looking for her, but she was not there anymore.
"Alex!" Lucas yelled madly, running outside.
When Alexandra had seen Lucas's madness when he had discovered her bruises and wounds, she had been sure he was going to hit the guard. The second they were busy fighting was the second she ran away. She easily found her way out of the building. She had noticed the exit door when she had first walked in the corridor. She had to run now, it was her only chance. When she heard Lucas' voice calling for her, she ran faster, as fast as possible. She could hear his voice coming closer and closer. She knew he was a better runner than her, but she had to continue, she had to.
When Lucas had realized Alexandra was gone, he ran outside and saw her escaping in the thick jungle. He didn't think twice, he had to bring her back before the Phoenix group did.
"I'll handle it," he shouted to the soldiers as he ran past them so they would stay still. He didn't want them to hurt her again. When he had seen how badly injured she was, he had gone mad.
"Alex! Stoooop," he screamed. He could see her few meters away. He ran faster than her and quickly caught up to her. As he reached her and grabbed her arm, they both fell down, rolling on the ground. Lucas flipped them so that he was over her. She was fighting him, struggling under his body, her palms on his chest, trying to push him away..
"Let go of me!" she howled.
"I'm with you! I'm with you!" he said, trying to make her calm down. "I'm not your enemy. I'm not the one who wants to hurt you." He grabbed her wrists and pushed them down, each side of her. She couldn't move anymore. She glared at him, eyes full of tears. "Alex, I'm working for my father here. I'm with you. I swear to you. My father knows where we are, he is coming for us," he whispered to her. She looked at him in disbelief. She was not really listening to him, she didn't want to believe him, not after what he had said, not after what he had done. He was playing with her mind again. It was too painful to handle. "I'm so sorry they hurt you," he added, freeing one of his hands, gently brushing her cheek.
"If you're working with your father then let me go," she challenged him.
"I can't…" He murmured, his hand still caressing her wounded face, his fingers carefully touching her cut lips.
"You'll tell them I hit you and escaped," she sobbed. Her heart was beating really hard in her chest, she didn't like to be stuck, his weight was pressing her hard on the ground and she couldn't move. She wanted to free herself from his grip, her body was telling her to run away.
"You know they won't believe it," he sighed, his eyes full of pain. It was hurting him to see her suffer like that.
"Let me go, please," she begged. Lucas had never seen her so afraid and sad. She seemed really scared. Alexandra shut her eyes, pursing her lips and let escape a moan of distressed. "Please, Lucas," she said, reopening her flooded downhearted blue eyes on him. Maybe he could do that? Maybe he could let her go? It would be so easy. Maybe they could just leave together, disappear in this deep wild jungle they knew so well? It would be like before, like nothing had happened, just the two of them. Life would be easier. He wanted so much to do it but he knew he had a bigger mission to accomplish first. He needed her parents to help him with the portal, they were so close to succeeding.
"I can't, I'm sorry I can't." Her gloomy gaze changed into an angry one.
"I despise you," she said resentfully.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, shaking his head.
"I… do… not… believe you" she hissed. "I hate you!" Her eyes were suddenly full of detestation and disgust. Lucas was mad about it. "I'm glad your mother is dead. She would be so ashamed of the man you've become." Alexandra wanted to hurt him, she wanted him to pay for all of the pain he did to her. She kept glaring at him when she said it to show him how much she hated him right now. It worked well because he was furious in a second.
"Good," he spat. "Then I don't have to be nice to you." He pulled her up, caught her arm and pushed her in front of him, heading back to the camp. They walked back to the camp in front of the soldiers who were there, all watching her with scorn. She didn't say a single word all the way back and neither did he, until she saw the wooden door of the cell appeared down the stairs.
"No, please, no," she sobbed in despair. Lucas didn't look at her to avoid her pleading gaze and pushed her into the cell before locking the door. He sat on the floor, his back against the door, crying in silence while Alexandra was hammering at the door with her fists.
"Lucas! Let me go!" She yelled. "Lucaaaas," she shouted, crying. She fell on her knees, her head on the door, tears flooding her face. "Lucas…" She mumbled, sobbing. Lucas hated this situation, he wanted to open the door and cuddle her. He wanted to take her and run away with her. He wanted to take away her pain. But he knew he couldn't, it was not the plan. He had to wait for her parents to repair the portal. He was tortured inside but he knew he had to be rational, he needed the portal first, they all needed it. Yet, he couldn't stand to be so horrible to her, he hated to see her suffer. He hated himself for being such a bastard. The sound of her scream was still echoing in his mind, haunting him, when he eventually went back upstairs, his face back to the heartless Lucas her parents knew. His hatred for himself and for them would easily help him to act like he was before. Hatred had always been a good motivator for him.
"Commander!" Damon called Taylor. "There's a signal! It's moving fast." Taylor ran to Damon and looked at the plex.
"But not fast enough to be a car," he stated.
"It's Alex," Damon sighed in relief, smiling. "Look, it stopped and now it's going back to where it appeared."
"Something's wrong," Taylor told himself aloud. Suddenly, the signal went off again.
"Damn it," Damon cursed, upset. Taylor had placed a tracker in the car Charles and Alice had taken but also inside Alexandra's watch. He had been sure they were going to leave the vehicle one day and if Lucas had had one on him, it could have compromised him. The only way to follow them had been to follow Alexandra. When they had noticed the two trackers had been separated, they had known they had changed their vehicle and had followed Alexandra's tracker. Yet, they had lost them during the last evening, when the second tracker had disappeared. The only way to find them had been to go back to the first tracker and track them the old fashion way. Taylor was a good hunter but they had lost the trail in the jungle. Somebody had erased their tracks. There were only two possibilities to explain how they had lost Alexandra's tracker. Either they had found the tracker in Alexandra's watch and Lucas and her were in great danger, or they were somewhere the tracker couldn't transmit. The fact that Alexandra's tracker had reappeared and then disappeared was not a good sign. She could have been in the future, back here and then back in the future. Or she could have tried to escape from where she had been held, then been captured again and she was probably in big trouble now. Damon and Taylor didn't need to talk, they both knew in each case it was not good news. Their plan was already not working well. Lucas was their only chance left.
"I noted where the tracker reappeared. It's 60 kilometers away."
"We need to hurry. Let's go."
"We're moving!" Damon yelled to the soldiers that were with them. They all went back to their vehicles and they left a minute later in the direction where Damon had seen Alexandra reappear.
When the cell door reopened, Lucas was not there anymore. Alice was standing in front of Alexandra. She had a bowl of water in one hand and some fabric in the other one. She approached and stopped in front of her, ready to clean her face.
"Don't touch me," Alexandra warned her, slapping her hand. "I don't want your pity."
"It's not pity. Your face is awful, you need it to be cleaned."
"I don't need your help. This happened because of you in the first place."
"No, it happened because you tried to escape. Otherwise, Gordon would have not touched you."
"Gordon," she scowled. "You say his name like he's a friend!"
"He is just doing his job. You'll see he's not a bad person."
"I'll see nothing! Are you mad? I'm not gonna be friends with that psycho! Are you even listening to yourself?"
"Don't raise your voice like that. It won't help. And you are making your cut lips bleed again," she said calmly. She took a piece of fabric and pressed it against Alexandra's bleeding lips. Alexandra didn't move, staring at her mother. She was so calm, it always used to calm her.
"Why are you doing this?" She whispered painfully.
"Because it needs to be done."
"No, I mean, why are you doing this?" she gestured her hands, showing the cave.
"You'll stay here until you are ready to come with us."
"Mum…"
"Your father and I would be so pleased if you accept to join us." Her eyes were begging her to say yes. Alexandra felt her heart clench and a knot forming in her stomach.
"Are you insane?" She asked her seriously. "Do you really think I can come with you? Haven't you notice who the hell he is? He's mad, obsessed with his plans, he's gonna destroy everything! People are gonna die because of him!" She was shouting again, making her mother step back.
"Alex, calm down now. Don't talk about your father like that. Show him more respect."
"Respect? Respect? Honestly?" Alexandra yelled, her eyes reflecting fury. Yet, her mother was still calm. "What's your angle in this?"
"I do what I think must be done."
"Taylor won't let you do this."
"Taylor?" She sneered with disdain. "Taylor has no idea who we are, what we are doing, he doesn't' even know his own son is plotting behind his back. He won't come and save you. Forget this stupid hope. You're alone here unless you accept our offer."
"Aren't you too tired of being that stupid all the time?" Alexandra replied harshly.
"Alex, take it easy," her mother warned her.
"Easy? Go to hell!"
"Ok, I can see you're upset, I'll leave you and you'll have more time to think about it on your own."
"Great, go on, leave me like you always have."
"I leave because you just ask me to."
"No you run away because you know I'm right."
"You know nothing."
"You're just his tiny inoffensive little pet, always following him without a protest," she spat.
"Don't say that," she warned her, shaking her head.
"You're his puppet. Can't you see that?"
"You know nothing about him, nothing about us, nothing about love, nothing!" She yelled at her. Alexandra was so shocked by her mother's reaction that she stayed speechless, mouth slightly open. "He is my husband, I love him and he loves me. Maybe you don't understand why, maybe you don't comprehend the way we love each other, but I will always be on his side."
"I'm your daughter! I'm your family! How can you say that?'
"Because this choice is easy for me! Your father wants you with us, he thinks you're worth it. I want you to be with us for his happiness. It's him that I love, not you."
"I am your daughter," Alexandra mumbled in distress. "You should love me too, you should protect me, you should help me, you should…" Tears started to run down her cheeks as she was begging for her mother's love. Her own mother had just said she would choose her father over her, always. She had always thought her mother loved her more than her father whereas it was the total opposite. Her mother was kind to her, for him. Then what could she do? There was nothing to do or say to change her mind, it was obvious now. She had always seen her mother like a captive wife, too afraid to confront her husband, too afraid to upset him and in the end, it was a lie. She was on his side because she wanted to, because she cautioned him, she accepted everything he did because she agreed with it. It was like her mother had stabbed her right in the heart. She was sure she could feel it bleeding from pain. She had nothing, nothing left to hold on, she was alone, totally alone. She let her body fall on the hard and cold ground, unable to stay standing anymore. She was feeling sick, breathing was hard and painful. Her mother kneeled down to her.
"We can be a family again. You just have to say it. Say the word," she murmured to her ear.
"I'd rather die," she replied sharply, eyes burning with disgust. "How can your love be real when you're a total fake?"
"Then I'm afraid I cannot help you," Alice said dryly before leaving her in the dark, dirty and cold cell.
Alexandra grabbed the bowl of water and washed her face. It was cold but it felt warm to her. Once she was refreshed and hopefully with no more blood on her face, she started pacing in the cave, thinking. She was cross, she could feel hatred growing in her. Her life was so damaged and it was all because of them, because of her parents. Everything that had happened to her, every bad thing she'd been through was because of them. The abandon, the loss, the torture, the pain… After a minute, this anger vanished and was soon replaced by distress. She was alone with her sadness. She had nowhere to go to and she couldn't trust anyone. She couldn't stop thinking about what Lucas had said about working with his father. Was he really telling the truth? Then why didn't he let her go? Yet she remembered their conversation the day before really well. He had said he had lied to her, that he didn't love her, that everything was a trap. Deep down, she hoped that if he had lied to her since her abduction, it was when he had said that, otherwise it would mean that her whole life in Terra Nova was a lie. And if it was, she would not be able to stand it, she would not survive such a betrayal. But there was no reason for him to lie like that, to hurt her on purpose like he did. And he was working with her father, there was no doubt about that, they would have a new portal soon. She really thought she could trust him. Of all the people she knew, he was the only one she always thought she could trust. Since the beginning, the first time she had met him, she had believed in him. Now, she was feeling utterly stupid, abused and used. She didn't want to go with her parents, she didn't want to run away because she had no place to go to. She would die in Silent Brake, she knew she could not get back to Terra Nova by foot. She had no idea where she was. And Taylor would not come to save her because he didn't know where she was. Taylor… He had promised her nothing would happen. He had sworn she had nothing to worry about. A lie, again. Maybe a Taylor family thing. They all plotted behind her back. They all knew the terrible truth about her parents and yet they lied to her. Nothing was making sense anymore and for the first time in her life, she didn't know what to do with herself. For the first time in her life, she could see no way of getting out. For the very first time in her life she thought about death. Maybe it would be easier that way, at least she would not feel the abyssal gap of pain she was feeling right now. Who would care anyway? She had lost everything she believed in, she had been betrayed by the closest people she had in life and there was no solution to end this nightmare. Maybe dying was the best answer after all.
Feel the music, feel the story
"Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree? Travel the world and the seven seas. Everybody's looking for something. Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to get used by you. Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused. I wanna use you and abuse you. I wanna know what's inside you. Hold your head up, movin' on. Keep your head up, movin' on. Movin' on! I'm gonna use you and abuse you. I'm gonna know what's inside. Gonna use you and abuse you. I'm gonna know what's inside you." Sweet dreams - Marilyn Manson
