Hi everyone, so this is "the" chapter when everything changes. I hope you'll like it. Sorry I haven't update sooner but this was an important chapter and I really really wanted you to see, to feel, to live that scene. I hope you'll see what I wanted to show you. Anyway it's done and it's here so let's get started! Thanks everyone for your reviews. It's always a pleasure to read your comments. I like to have my fans! J You are all marvelous. Thanks for supporting me, I really appreciate it.


Until it bleeds

"Commander, this is here," Damon showed Taylor.

"There's nothing here," he frowned.

"Excuse me, sir, but you're wrong," Damon replied.

"Pardon?"

"There is a mountain, just in front of us, sir."

"And?"

"And I think it's a perfect place to hide something, or someone, in it."

Taylor looked at Damon in disbelief and looked back at the mountain in front of him. His eyebrows furrowed as he realized that Damon's theory could be right. They had driven to the point where they had last seen Alexandra's tracker. She had to be there, somewhere. They stayed hidden behind trees and waited in silence. After an hour of patience, they were eventually rewarded as a man seemed to appear from nowhere.

"Set the bombs. Tell everyone to be ready. We are attacking," Taylor commanded Damon firmly. He was ready to fight. Ready to take back what belonged to him. He would prove to Charles and Alice that no one betrayed him without consequences.

Lucas was conflicted after what had happened with Alexandra. He was trying to listen to Charles' conversation but his mind was far away. All of his thoughts were in the cell with Alexandra, her cries echoing in his head.

"You're not listening," Charles suddenly said, stopping Lucas in his thoughts.

"I am," he replied steadily. "I just don't need you to remind me how this device works. I was there when we built it. I know it's a portable one that can be use everywhere. But what I do not know is our next move. You didn't tell me what was the plan. We open the portal and then what? Who's coming?"

"All of us. Why?"

"Some of us should stay here. Someone needs to stay and watch our backs."

"No. We don't need to leave someone here. We are not coming back here afterwards."

"Still, I think we should delay our departure."

"Are you planning on stopping us here?" Charles asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

"No, of course not."

"Then what's the matter?"

"I still don't understand why you want your daughter with us. What's the point?"

"We already had this conversation. She's coming."

"I don't think she's gonna help us one day. Clearly she hates you. Both of you," he added, gesturing at Charles and Alice. "She hates me too. How are you going to handle her?"

"We haven't come so far to step back now. This device is perfect. You should be thrilled about it, not bothering about details. Alex is my daughter and my problem." Suddenly, a bell rang warningly in Lucas' head. He couldn't do that. He couldn't let them take her. Alexandra was the only person that had never disappointed him. The only one who had never betrayed him. The only one who had never lied to him. The only one who had always been by his side. The only one who had always chosen him over everyone else. He had never thanked her for that. She had given him hope, something else to live for, and he had betrayed her, hurt her, so many times already. He couldn't leave her there, he couldn't. He was doing exactly what everyone had always done to him, he was dropping her, abandoning her. No, he couldn't do that to her, he couldn't. His decision was made and everything seemed suddenly more obvious. He knew what he had to do. He was going to free her. No matter if his father was not arrived yet. He was already too late. Lucas had made his decision.

"I want her to stay here," Lucas said calmly, yet in a commanding tone.

"No. Out of all of us, if someone is sure to come, it's her."

"I don't do well with ambiguous threats," Lucas warned Charles. "What are you saying exactly?"

"That I don't need your help anymore. I've been generous with you in the past, haven't I? Don't make me regret it."

"She is going to stay here," Lucas said coldly, stepping in front of Charles, stopping inches from his face.

"Don't disappoint me, son," Charles warned him dangerously.

"You should know I'm not a very good son."

"I don't want to kill you."

"I'll kill you first," Lucas whispered in Charles' ear. Charles stiffened as he realized Lucas' gun was pressing on his ribs. Lucas was ready to fire. There was no turning back now and he had only one thing in mind.

"We are being attacked!" A voice suddenly yelled in a walkie-talkie, breaking Lucas' attention for a second, just enough time for Charles to escape his vigilance. Lucas spotted Charles nodding slightly and then everything went dark. Gordon had knocked Lucas down. He collapsed on the floor, unconscious.

"Alice, follow me. Gordon, go and bring Alexandra out," Charles commanded as he grabbed the device and put it in his pocket. "We are leaving."

"What about him?" Alice asked, looking at Lucas.

"Let him stay here if it's really what he wants," he mocked nastily. "He's not valuable anymore."

Sat in a corner of the cell, Alexandra was thinking about the people she loved and had loved. It made her ache with loneliness. It seemed like a lifetime since she had been happy. Like a long dream that had deteriorated into a deep and dark nightmare. Yet it was not a long time ago that she was happy living with Lucas, surrounded by loving people who seemed to care about her. Now, everything was different and she couldn't even catch a glimpse of what it was to feel safe and sound. She jumped as Gordon slammed the door and ran to her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her up.

"Stay away from me!" She screamed instinctively, trying to pull her arm free.

"You shut your fucking mouth," he threatened her, showing her his knife and holding it close to her chin. "Or I will cut your tongue," he added, giving her a demonic smile. Alexandra swallowed back her insults and glared at him.

"Good." He pushed her out of the cell but she didn't walk. Instead she stayed down the stairs, her gaze locked on it.

"Don't be stupid," he warned her. As she didn't move, he pushed her violently on the stairs. He quickly climbed them and she tried to kick him with her leg in defense, but she missed him. He didn't wait and plunged his knife deeply into her thigh as a punition. Alexandra's eyes widened in shock as she felt the knife entering her skin. A scream of pain escaped from her as Gordon slowly took the blade from her flesh.

"Daddy said I couldn't kill you. He didn't say I couldn't play with you," he whispered roughly to her ear before throwing her on his shoulders.

Suddenly, the ground seemed to crumble under his feet and he lost his balance, dropping Alexandra down the stairs. He put his hands on the walls to stay standing as Alexandra fell heavily on the ground. She tried to sit but her back was aching from the fall. She looked up to see anxiety on Gordon's face as he looked up to the ceiling. The ground began to tremble again, making Gordon stumbled, worried.

A third quake shook the whole cave and some rocks broke away. One of them, a big spiky one, fell straight on Gordon's head. He seemed to struggle to stay still, his eyes lost in Alexandra's and his legs suddenly dropped him off. He fell forward, right on Alexandra, who had no time to move away. The violence of his fall multiplied his weight, caused Alexandra to lose her breath. She heard a horrible broken sound coming from her chest when his body entered in contact with her, followed by a deep pain. She first thought she had been stabbed, but as the blood started to run down her shirt she realized it was not hers. She tilted her head up and saw Gordon was not moving anymore. She managed to get one of her hands out from under his body and put her fingers on his throat, looking for a pulse.

She began to cry, her lips trembling with fatigue as she realized Gordon had stabbed himself in his fall. She cried and chuckled at the same time, stress catching up with her. Gordon's lifeless body was beginning to feel heavier, preventing Alexandra from breathing properly. She took all the strength she had left and tried to push away this lifeless body. After a few tries, she managed to roll it to the side and break free from his grip.

She tried to get up but as she put her foot down, pain thundered her, making her fall down on the ground. She looked at her thigh and remembered that she had been stabbed. She leaned over the wound to see if it was deep. She needed to compress the cut to prevent it from bleeding too much. She looked at Gordon and after a moment of hesitation, she took a deep breath and grabbed the knife that was planted into his heart. She cut a portion of her jeans with it so that the opening was larger, allowing her to look at it more easily. She gently touched the large cut in her flesh. The wound was deep, enough to make her suffer if she had to walk. She tore part of her shirt and tied it tightly around her thigh, wincing in pain as she knotted it.

She stood up slowly and clenched her teeth, letting out a small groan of pain. It was really hard to breathe, her broken ribs acting like knives on her lungs. Her leg was painful but she would be able to walk if she put the most of her weight on the other one. She put one of her hands on her chest to ease the pain and took a deep breath. With the knife tightly clenched in her other hand, ready to use if needed, she left the cave limping. As she walked out of it, her mouth dropped open in surprise. It looked like a war was raging outside. The soldiers of Terra Nova were everywhere, as were the Phoenix's soldiers. Some were fighting hand to hand, some others were shooting. She quickly noticed her father running away with her mother, Taylor behind them. Taylor pointed his gun to Charles, threatening him.

"Stop!" He commanded him. As Charles didn't obey, Taylor tried to shoot him in the shoulder, but Alice put herself in the way to protect her husband. She received the bullet right in the chest and fell clumsily on the ground under Alexandra's eyes. Charles turned at the sound of the shot and saw her wife's unconscious body laying on the ground. Like in a slow motion scene, he stared at her and then glared at Taylor. Charles let a groan of fury escape and ran into Taylor. They started to fight angrily, punching each other.

Charles was not a soldier and didn't know how to fight. His mind was his main weapon. But there, anger was driving him and he found strength he never thought he had. At this second, Alexandra didn't think about what her mother had said to her earlier, she only listened to her heart. Her mother was hurt and she had to rescue her. She quickly ran to her, forgetting the pain from her wound that was invading her, and kneeled down next to her.

"Mum?" Alexandra's body was shaking. She suddenly felt very cold and her heart was hammering in her chest.

"Alex…" Alice's voice was almost a whisper. Alexandra put her hands on the bullet's hole, trying to stop the bleeding.

"It's gonna be alright Mum. It's gonna be alright," she stammered. There was blood everywhere and she couldn't stop the wound from bleeding. "Help!" Alexandra looked around her, everybody was fighting and nobody seemed to notice her. "Help me!" She cried again, but her voice was covered by the noise of the shooting and fights. Alice started to cough, her breathing erratic, her eyes wide open in pain.

"Help! I need help," Alexandra screamed again but no one was listening to her. Alexandra could see the life running away from her mother. "Help me," Alexandra sobbed hopelessly, her eyes filling with tears. She leaned to her mother and gave her a kiss. "I love you mum," she murmured, her hand gently caressing her hair. "I love you… as you are." Alice looked at her and forced a smile.

"My daughter and her feelings," she chuckled awkwardly. Alexandra stared at her mother, unable to move, as Alice took her last breath.

"Mum…" Alexandra mumbled, in shock. She stayed still next to her mother, observing her dead body, waiting for a movement to prove to her she was still alive, but nothing happened. It was as if her mother's death had knocked out every wisp of air from her lungs. She didn't remember how to breathe, how to speak. The scene of her death was repeating in her head. She wiped away the tears that were running on her cheeks and realized her hands were covered in blood. Actually, her clothes were soaked in blood. Her mother's blood. Gordon's blood. Her own blood. She stared at her hands helplessly, incapable of understanding what she was looking at. Nothing seemed to made sense. Someone pulling her up violently and suddenly woke her up from her confusion. Her father had grabbed her arms and pulled her up. He dragged her with him to a cliff.

"Let her go!" An angry voice shouted from behind them. Charles turned and saw Lucas standing few meters away from him, his gun pointed in his direction. Charles took Alexandra's knife and placed it under her throat, threatening to harm her.

"Let us go!" Charles ordered.

"Let the girl go first!" Taylor yelled.

"No way, she's coming with me," Charles replied firmly. "It's the two of us or none of us," he threatened them, putting the knife tightly on Alexandra's throat.

"You have no way out. Surrender while it's still possible!" Taylor told him. Then he saw an evil smile kicking at the corner of Charles' lips.

"That is where you're wrong," he snarled.

Taylor wanted to shoot him but he couldn't. Charles was protected by Alexandra's body. He couldn't risk hurting her. Taylor looked at Alexandra with meticulous care. She was only the shadow of herself. She reminded him of the first day he had met her. She was in shock and wounded, yet she had the flame of life in her eyes. Now, it was a totally different situation. She looked like an empty broken doll. Her clothes were covered in blood, making her look like a zombie.

Everybody was shouting, asking the other ones to drop their guns. Nobody was really listening to the each other. Only two people were quiet, Lucas and Alexandra. Lucas had lowered his gun and his gaze was locked on her. Her expression was unreadable. She seemed empty, like something had broken inside. There was no trace of hope or life in her eyes anymore. Her pale face was still bruised, reminding him of what she had been through. She had dark circles under her eyes, showing she had not slept in days. Her whole body was betraying her, showing everybody how hurt she was, how weak she was.

Alexandra looked around her, the sounds and shootings seemed so far away. It was almost like she was deaf, watching a weird but familiar scene on mute. People she knew were there. She knew them but couldn't recognize them. Taylor, Damon, Lucas… They were strangers to her. Traitors. Alexandra didn't know why but she suddenly remembered a song. Particularly one sentence of it, 'I gave my all, did my best'. Yes she had done her best. She had tried a lot to fit in this world but had failed. Love, trust and forgiveness should have brought her happiness and care. Instead, it had only brought her pain, loss and hatred. It was not worth it. Her life was not worth it. Everything she knew was wrong. Her life was a lie. The people she knew had lied to her.

As she was staring at her mother's lifeless body without really see it, something set in her mind. She didn't want to feel again. Never. As a plan started to play in her head, she knew she was ready for it. She had already cried too much. She had been squeezed like a lemon until she was totally empty of emotion and her tears had dried up. She felt deeply hurt, full of sadness and totally empty at the same time. Nothing really mattered anymore. She was tired of fighting endlessly. She was exhausted of being strong all the time. Depression overwhelmed her. She wanted it to end, she wanted to leave, she wanted the pain to go away. She was just a pawn in their game anyway. A toy they used to dispose when they wanted. They would not care if she was gone. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Then she felt free to act as desperately as she wished.

Lucas saw her murmur something and take a deep breath. Lucas didn't know what she was going to do but could only fear it was something desperate. He shook his head at her, begging her not to do anything reckless, his eyes anxious. She gave him a last determined look and shut her eyes.

She felt so numb she couldn't even cry. Only one tear found its way out of her eyes. As the tear ran down her cheek and fell down, she suddenly grabbed her father's hand that was holding the knife and slid it across her throat, cutting into her flesh, blood streaming profusely on her. Surprised but reactive, Charles held back the knife, preventing it from going too deep into her skin. In the action of the movement, they both toppled from the top of the cliff.

"Noooo!" Lucas screamed in despair as they disappeared from his sight.

The silence that followed seemed like an eternity, as if time had stopped for a moment. They all held their breathing until a huge electrical noise was heard and a large blue light appeared. They all ran over the edge of the cliff just in time to see the portal closing. Charles had managed to turn the key in his fall, taking Alexandra with him.

Lucas couldn't breathe anymore. She was gone. She was gone and he didn't know where. He didn't know when. She was hurt and he couldn't help her. He had only felt this helpless once before, when his mother had died. He had promised himself that he would never feel like that again, but there he was, standing at the top of this cliff, staring down, hopeless. He knew that he would have given his life for hers, but now he couldn't do anything. He had failed. All of a sudden, his heart broke in millions of pieces, his ribcage feeling empty. His whole body had been emptied of emotion, the loss of Alexandra too big to hold it.

Damon was as stunned as Lucas, unable to move from his previous spot. He dropped his gun on the ground in shock. How could that have happened? How? Everything had happened so quickly. They hadn't had the time to prevent it. They had not seen it coming. Why? Damon felt useless. He had no answer and didn't want to think about it anyway. They had lost her. They had failed. He had lost her. He had failed. He could feel the numbness invading him, his vision blurring from tears that didn't want to fall from his eyes.

Taylor did not stop giving orders until he had no more to ask for. Keeping him busy was helping him not to think about what had just happened. He didn't want to face the inevitable. He had failed his promise. He would not come back with her. She would not be safe in Terra Nova. She was not there with them. She was lost. She was alone. And he was the only one to blame.

An hour later, Lucas was still staring at the space where the portal was. Taylor was really worried about his son. He could see how much his son was thinking, his face darkening more and more as the time was passing. Taylor stepped towards Lucas, placing his hand on Lucas' shoulder.

"Come on, son," Taylor said softly.

"Don't call me son," Lucas spat coldly, ripping his shoulder out of his father's grip.

"Lucas, we can't stay here. We have secured the perimeter. We're gonna leave a camera here, just in case. But there's nothing left to do." Lucas clenched his jaw, his face reflecting the fury growing up in him.

"I should have never listened to you. I should have known it would end like that. It always ends like that with you."

"Lucas, don't say that, I…"

"This is all your fault," he roared, stopping him. "I will never forgive you. Never." Taylor stared at his son in disbelief, the madness in his eyes making him shiver. Lucas glared at him and then walked away. Taylor stayed speechless. His son was suddenly back to the old wild Lucas he had lost years ago in the jungle. And this time, there was no Alexandra to bring him back to reason. Taylor froze as he finally understood that he had lost a lot more than he had thought today. There were too many casualties and he had saved no one. He had lost the portal, his son, Alexandra and probably the faith and the trust of a lot of his soldiers, starting with Damon. Soon, the colonists might distrust him as well when the supplies from 2149 will be low. As a leader, he had to keep his promises. But this mission was a failure and he would have to pay the price of it. Besides that one day or the other, they might be attacked again because of his misjudgment. He will have to find a solution to repair his mistake. Until then, he would not allow himself to rest.


Feel the music, feel the story

"Would you mind if I hurt you? Understand that I need to. Wish that I had other choices than to harm the one I love. What have you done now? I know I'd better stop tryin. You know that there's no denying. I won't show mercy on you now. I know, should stop believing. I know, there's no retrieving. It's over now, what have you done? I've been waiting for someone like you. But now you are slipping away... Why does fate make us suffer? There's a curse between us, between me and you. […] Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to? 'cause you have turned into my worst enemy. You carry hate that I don't feel. It's over now. […] I will not fall, won't let it go. We will be free when it ends." What have you done ? - Within Temptation