* I own nothing of Rizzoli and Isles I just have the privilege of playing with the characters for a while.
Jane sat down at her desk and started working on the Sullivan file even though all she wanted to do was run after her best friend and say "I'm an idiot but I can't help it." She sat there thinking of possibilities of why she said what she did about the kiss. She finally gave up and decided to stay focused on the report that had to be finished by the end of the day. No one dared to interrupt her for fear of their lives. They had learned over the years when the two friends argued that it was best to leave well enough alone until the two worked everything out.
The note that Maura had shown her in the file laid right beside her arm unopened. She found that she couldn't open it because it would really show how bad of a jack ass she had been. Every now and again while working on the report she would catch her name written in Maura's neat handwriting in the corner of her eye and remember the anger and the tear she saw in her friend's eyes and sigh. She knew that she had hurt her but she couldn't stop the words that came out of her mouth at the time. It just all seemed to flow out when she saw the two of them right there in front of her. All the anger of being ignored just fueled the reality of suspicions in her mind instead of the truth itself.
"Of course, Maura wasn't ignoring her and she did deserve to have other friends. God...You have blown it." She chided herself as she starred at the line for the cause of death on the screen. She looked at the report and almost laughed/cried at what she read. The cause of death was a lethal dose of arsenic poison administrated by oral ingestion over a period of time. She had fussed at Maura for waiting for the last test before finishing her final report.
"Come on Maur...you know the cause of death is poisoning. Just sign the report."
"Jane, I will not sign anything until the final test comes back to where I can swear under oath that arsenic poisoning was the absolute cause of death. You will just have to wait and hovering will not make it come back any faster."
"Fine." She remembered saying and stomping off from her. She placed her face in her hands and sighed again.
"Jane..." Korsak came over to her after he got no response. "Janie..." She looked up at the man, "I'll finish the report you need to go and get some air."
"I'm okay Korsak. If I leave here now all I'm going to do is try and find Maura. Who...I'm sure doesn't want to see me at the moment. At least this report gives me something to do beside beat myself up."
"Hey...give yourself a break."
"I can't... she was right I treated her like I would a suspect. I interrogated her in front of all of you and she hadn't done anything wrong. I'm such an idiot."
"Well I can't argue with that..." he paused for affect, "...it happened. But she will get over it and you two will make up. You are too good of friends not to."
"I hope you are right. I'm going to go and get some coffee. You want anything?"
"I'm good." He said smiling at her then going back to his desk.
She walked into the cafe and heard the one voice she wasn't wanting to hear. "Jane Clementine Rizzoli!"
She cringed knowing a lecture was on the way, "Ma don't start."
"Don't you go there with me Missy. I have taught you better than to talk to someone the way I heard you talked to Maura. She is your best friend."
"Will you please hold your voice down?" She said looking around the cafe to see who was in there. Luckily no one was.
"You didn't hold yours down while interrogating Maura."
"I know...did she tell you?"
"No... I saw her wiping her eyes talking to Dr. Bonner and they left right away before I could check on her. I had to hear it by over hearing two police officers talking about the big cat fight."
"It wasn't a fight ma."
"No more like an ambush on your part." Jane hung her head and walked to the counter. "Janie...what's going on?" She asked in a softer voice seeing her daughter was in pain.
"I didn't mean to talk to her like that ma. I was fine yesterday morning. I was really feeling good actually. I hadn't felt the need to go to her house because of nightmares in over a week. Then this Dr. Bonner shows up and the guys came in and started talking smack about how she was a lesbian and suggested she was here to turn Maura. Then I came down to meet her and Maura had taken off with her and ignores my calls all day. I go to check on her last night and before I get to her house I see them walking up her sidewalk and then they kissed. It all just made me...I don't know..."
"Oh Jane... You are jealous."
"Jealous...what are you talking about?"
"Jane... Maura is your best friend and you feel betrayed because she gave her full attention to someone other than you."
"That's crazy...she gives her dates her full attention and I do not feel this way."
"Yeah... but her dates are with men. She gave another woman who happens to be a lesbian her undivided attention. She hasn't ever done that before. You are always first in her life and yesterday you weren't."
"That makes me sound like a very selfish person... even more than what Maura said to me."
"What did she say?"
"That I look but don't see, I hear but don't understand, that she speaks and I don't listen..." she paused, "I listen to her."
"How many times do you tell her to shut up or stop the google mouth?"
"That's just when she is spouting off crazy facts. Did I tell you she talks to Dr. Bonner about me and gets advice from her on how to fix my problems." She said getting upset and trying to deflect the guilt.
"That's not what she said about her friend. She said her friend was here to help her with her problems and nightmares which you are a part of."
"Damn... do you have the office bugged." She said looking at her mother indignant.
"No... but she is right Jane. When was the last time you asked Maura how shooting yourself made her feel...or how she felt when she saw you tied to that bed and couldn't help you...or the whole Hoyt thing?"
"Okay...okay...I get it. I suck at being a friend." She said raising up her hand like stop the guilt.
"No honey...you aren't a bad friend. You just don't know how she stayed night and day while you were in the hospital and how she would cry when no one was around thinking you were going to die. She loves you and if you had of died I'm not so sure that she wouldn't have too. Well at least parts of her. Then you came home and growled at her and threw her out."
"That's not fair I threw you out too."
"I'm your mother I'm used to it and I will always be your mother. You are stuck with that fact. But you can change your mind about friends...I think that's what you realized yesterday as well. Maura can change her mind too."
"What can I do ma?"
"Give her some space...maybe think how you would have felt if she had accused you of being a lesbian and outed you in front of your co-workers."
"Ouch..."
"Yeah...hurts, doesn't it?"
"Yes"
"Go home and do what she said you weren't doing."
"Meaning?"
"Listen...go back and listen to what Maura has been saying and showing you all along even if it scares the hell out of you...listen." She said and hugged her.
"Thanks ma." She said as she went up to finish her report.
Sometimes you just have to talk things over with your mother, "even if it hurts listening to her..."
