Ruined

When Alexandra entered the headquarters, she automatically checked every exit, counted every window, every door, how many people were in the room and how many guns there were. She recorded everything in her mind. She walked around the desk and discreetly took a walkie-talkie that was on it. She had become kleptomaniac few months ago. It was not like she wanted it, it was just her survival instincts. She would take whatever would help her to escape if needed. It was all an automatism for her. All the training her father had made her go through had turned her into someone who would always be prepared to defend herself or ready to run away.

"I'm glad you're alive, Alex," Taylor started to say as he sat behind his desk.

"So am I," she mocked sharply, looking around. "Nothing has changed here. Except for this," she pointed out, her gaze staring at a camera in the corner of the room.

"We have tried to secure the colony as much as we could."

"I can see that."

"We wanted to go and rescue you, but we couldn't," Taylor confessed suddenly.

"I can see that too," she said coldly.

"Have a seat," Taylor gestured the seat in front of him.

"I'd rather stay standing," she replied, folding her arms on her chest.

"Where were you? When were you?" Jim asked eagerly.

"Hope Plaza. 2150."

"We destroyed Hope plaza," Jim exclaimed.

"They rebuilt it."

"Who?"

"The Rebels, my father's army." Her tone was casual, almost neutral.

"So your father has an army," Jim whispered, shocked.

"They call themselves The Anarchists. They didn't think too much about this one," she said in a caustic tone. "I've never thought they would have invented gunpowder though, even if they wanted to. They are too stupid, efficient, but stupid." It was almost as if she was talking to herself.

"How did you get here?" Taylor asked earnestly.

"I jumped from a helicopter. Didn't you see my sublime jump?" She gestured with her arms.

"I know how you arrived here. But what happened before? What led you here?"

"I was captured by an enemy."

"How?"

"Well they found me before I could escape," she said in a slow voice as if she was speaking to a numb person. Taylor was trying to keep calm. Alexandra was disrespectful and clearly playing with his nerves.

"Who were they and why did they capture you?"

"Some Japanese soldiers. Apparently, they don't like it when someone breaks into their lab." Her mocking tone was exasperating Taylor. Why was she only answering with short sentences or just a word? She used to be so talkative and now all of her remarks were terse. He had expected her to tell them the whole story with every detail. Here, she was just giving them bits of information.

"Why did you break in their lab?" He tried again.

"I needed something they had, obviously."

Taylor slapped his hand on the desk with frustration. It made her jump and tense under his glare. Damon and Jim stared at the floor, knowing perfectly Alexandra had crossed the line, but they couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

"What are you playing at?"

"I'm not playing," she said stubbornly.

"Looks like it."

"Well you need glasses then," she said coldly.

"You're doing it again. What's wrong with you?"

"Me? What's wrong with me?" She started to laugh darkly, shaking her head in nervousness. "You are questioning me like a prisoner with your icy eyes stuck on me, trying to read me, analyze me. What's wrong with you?" Taylor held her gaze and inhaled and exhaled slowly to maintain his anger. Yet, it was not enough. He had held so much inside him during this last year, hoping she was alive, fearing she was dead, and here she was, ruining their reunion.

"Nothing's wrong with me here Alex! You're acting like a stubborn child and I don't even know why!" Taylor had seen that same look in her eyes before. It wasn't good for her, nor for him. It wasn't good for anyone.

Alexandra took a deep breath and talked in a blank tone.

"Fuck you," she said simply, glaring at him.

"Pardon?" He asked, stunned.

"I said fuck you. Oh sorry, fuck you, Commander. Is that better?" She smiled playfully.

"Don't push me too far, girl!" Taylor stood up from his chair and approached her.

"Don't girl me! I'm not a girl. I'm not your girl!" Alexandra cursed herself for her last sentence. That was just a stupid thing to say.

"So this is what it's all about? You not being mine?" He was hurt and pained by her. Was she trying to punish him and prove to him she was not on his side anymore?

"Don't try to understand, you're not smart enough," she snapped, annoyance audible in her voice.

"Give me a try," Taylor said gently, his eyes softening.

"No, I'd rather stay on my fuck you Commander part." An arrogant smile started to spread on her face.

"Then you will keep a civil tongue in that mouth or I will sew it shut," he ordered her angrily. "Is there an understanding between us?"

"Try me," she challenged him, her hand caressing her gun.

"You think I couldn't do it?" He said menacingly, stepping closer.

"Commander!" Jim intervened.

"Oh I'm sure you can do a lot of things, Commander," Alexandra spat, stepping closer to him too. "I've already experienced some of your skills."

"I'm not joking here," he warned her. He was struggling to keep his voice steady.

"Neither am I," she replied coldly. "Oh, by the way, the next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face!" His mouth dropped open. So she definitely wanted him to pay for his past mistakes. She had always known how to disconcert people. And then, once again, she reminded him how clever she was.

"I… I swear I …" He stuttered in shock, his gaze locked into her burning glare.

"You can save your petty explanations, I don't have the patience and I don't want to see you choke in your lies." She looked at him as he was losing his composure. She had kept so much inside and it was only now that she was aware of how deep she had buried her anger for him.

"Excuse me, Sir," a voice interrupted them. "He's here."

"Thank you Reynolds. We will come in a minute." Taylor glanced back to Alexandra and saw she was fidgeting on her feet. Her face was decomposed and her eyes were betraying her panic. "What now?"

"Don't do it," she blurted out. "Don't."

"What?"

"I can't handle it. I'm not ready."

"What do you mean?"

"I know what you expect me to do and I can't do it," she shook her head. Her attitude was the opposite of how she was a minute before. She was suddenly afraid and they all could see it. "Don't let him come. I don't want to see him."

Taylor had forgotten how clever she was. Of course, she had probably seen that Lucas was not there. And when he had asked Mark to go and tell someone of her arrival, she had suspected it was Lucas. Her reaction was startling him. Almost all of his anger vanished at her sight. So she was scared to see Lucas. Taylor had difficulty figuring out why. Her reactions were totally different depending on who she was with. She had accepted Damon's hug. She had kept her distance from Jim, yet she had not glared at him. She had accepted Dr Shannon's embrace. With him, she had been distant and cold. And now she didn't want to see Lucas. Yet, Taylor wanted his son to see her. For a year now, he had lost his son again and he was sure Alexandra was the solution to this problem.

"He needs to see you," was the only thing Taylor managed to say.

"I'm not ready for this. I'm not. Nothing good is gonna come from this," her voice was tight and stressed.

"We will see," he said, leaving her. Jim gave her a tiny supportive smile and followed Taylor outside. Damon pressed his lips together and gave her an odd look, kind of worry look mixed with pain. Alexandra wasn't sure what it meant.

"I'll be outside… If you need me," he informed her before walking away. Damon had not said a single word during the whole scene. He had just observed her. He didn't know what to think of her attitude. She was not the girl he knew. Or actually, she was, but this was just the darkest part of her. He was worried and couldn't make this feeling go away.

Taylor didn't bother greet his son when he met him outside, knowing perfectly it was not a good time. The last conversation they had had been a disaster, if you could even call it a conversation. It had only been shouting and vociferations. Dr Shannon was waiting next to Lucas with Mark.

"She's upstairs," Jim said to Lucas. Lucas nodded and ran inside, eager to see her, to touch her, to talk to her, for real. Not like in his dreams, nor like in his nightmares. This time she was really there. Elisabeth waited for Lucas to leave before talking.

"How is she?"

"Playing with my nerves, she pissed me off," Taylor groaned.

"We know, we were there," Jim said calmly.

"Yes you were but I don't remember you being insulted like I was."

"We don't know what she has been through. It could be a lot worse than what we thought and obviously she did not decide to come back on her own, she escaped. I guess it must be kind of shocking." Jim explained.

"She should be happy to be back home."

"May I add that she faced death few hours ago, I guess it could explain her cold and distant attitude with us."

"But not her bad temper or her defensive posture nor her aggressive attitude or her sarcastic tone."

"She probably doesn't know what to do or how to be with us anymore, just like us," Damon added. "I don't know how I would react if I had experienced this. The pain, the lies, the betrayal… I mean, last time we saw her, she was cutting her throat with a knife," he pointed out. "She tried to take her life! For God sakes, Commander! She tried to kill herself!"

"And she had been tortured," Dr Shannon reminded them. "Not only physically. This is traumatizing for someone that young. She must feel betrayed by everyone. It's normal if she is on her guard. She needs time to trust us again. Above all you, Commander. She used to see you as her family, you were a paternal figure and you disappointed her. Give her some time to adjust here. Talk to her with an open heart."

"I'm sure she considers us responsible for all of her tragedies," Mark murmured sadly.

"She has so much important information we need right now," Taylor sighed. "Let's just hope Lucas will be luckier than us."


So, are you as frustrated as Taylor now? :)