Welcome home
Alexandra was standing in the middle of her living room and didn't know what to do. Nothing had changed and it was really strange. As she couldn't suppress the third yawn that came, she decided she should go to bed. She entered what used to be her bedroom and stared at the bed. She frowned as memories of her ancient life were rushing through her mind. She laid on her bed fully dressed. She stayed there for a moment, staring at the ceiling, but she didn't felt comfortable. She waited for sleep to come, but it never did, her mind still racing from the day she had just spent. She exhaled loudly and stood up. It was just too quiet. Back in 2150, there was always the sound of a roaring machine somewhere. Maybe some fresh air would help.
She went outside into the night and looked up at the sky. She felt the corners of her mouth kicking up. She was amazed to see the stars again, the moon again and hear the nature around her again. A small wind was refreshing her, everything around was alive and was making her feel alive. She suddenly felt the urge to go away, to escape from Terra Nova, from the people, from this life she had not asked for. She had not been alone for a long time and she needed it. At least, if there was something good about being back there, it was being able to be outside and breathe the air without risking suffocating.
She walked along the fence until she was sure nobody was looking at her and there were no cameras turned on her, then she slipped under the fence and she ran. She ran as fast as she could. All the noises around her, the roars from the dinosaurs, the stress of being caught, of being attacked, it all made her more eager to run. She felt alive and it was good. She didn't stop until she reached Snakehead falls, panting and laughing from excitement. She laughed louder as she realized what she had just done. It was just so stupid, yet she liked it.
She slowly walked to the rocks where Lucas had written his calculations. She looked at the drawings on the rocks for a moment, then stopped. She didn't want to remember them. This is one of the problems that comes from having a photographic memory, like she has; you remember everything you see, even if you don't want to."All because of that," she sighed at the sight of the scribbling. She looked at the top of the falls and a smile started spreading across her face. She took off the gun which was tied to her belt and the one which was on her ankle under her trousers, the one she had stolen from Damon, again. She would have to give it back to him, but above all, she would have to stop grabbing his gun every time he was near her. She kept the knife in her boot, just in case. She hid them between two rocks and ran to the top of the falls. She didn't stop, she just ran and jumped, screaming loudly as she fell.
The cold water burnt her skin when her body entered the pool, but she didn't care, she felt alive. The year spent with her father had been rough and cold. He had tried to brainwash her, he wanted her to be like him, to think like him. Fortunately, he had never hurt her physically, she was still his daughter after all, even if he hated her for reminding him every day that he had lost his wife. Sometimes she could see the way he had looked at her, seeing her mother in her eyes, then remembering that she was dead and his face shutting down every sign of compassion.
Alexandra had learnt to hold her tongue. She had understood that her words would only lead her to more trouble. She had quickly decided to turn her features into an indifferent mask so that no one, and above all her father, would be able to read her thoughts. She had stopped talking and asking questions quickly enough so he had thought he had succeeded in turning her to his side.
In reality, Alexandra had shut her feelings down, buried them deep. She had hidden her soul away from her devilish father, to protect herself, to save herself. She could thank her survival instincts. She had emptied her body of feelings, emptied her brain of thoughts, she had played the perfect soldier and had done everything he wanted her to. Yet, she had watched every file he read and listened to every conversations he had. Everything was perfectly recorded in her head.
Her father had always hidden the numbers of the key opening the portal, but she didn't care. She had found a way to have them with her. She knew it would help her later, that one day it would be helpful against her father. She knew her days were numbered, but she didn't care. It was too late now. She was back here and there was no way out for her. She would endorse her past mistakes and live with it, as long as she would live.
"Not too long anyway," she sighed as she sadly watched her watch. It had a countdown running on it. She quickly swam to the side of the pool and ran to the top again. She jumped many times and she repeated it until exhaustion caught her. Soaked, her body shaking because of the cold, she grabbed her guns and walked back to the colony. It took her double the time to come back and when she eventually reached the fence, the sun was starting to rise. Even if it was dawn, she managed to get into Terra Nova without being spotted by the guards, nor the cameras. She was few meters away from her house when a voice behind her made her jump.
"What happened to you?" Jim's voice was full of concern. Her walk back had not entirely dried her. Her hair, clothes and boots were still wet and she was partly covered in mud.
"Good morning Sheriff." She forced a smile, yet she looked like a child who had gotten caught by their parents doing something stupid. He stared at her in disbelief, still waiting for an answer, arms folded.
"I needed some fresh air," she replied sheepishly.
"You've been OTG? On your own? In the night? By foot?" He was stunned. "Where?"
"Snakehead falls," she answered trustfully hoping honesty would make him stop asking questions. Jim didn't want to argue with her early in the morning. He could have accused her of lying, going OTG and conspiring against the colony, but he preferred to believe her. After all, if there was one thing that had not changed in her, it was her honesty and inability to lie properly.
She was safe and sound, that was all that mattered. It was odd but he was actually quite proud of her. She had left the colony without being caught and came back into it all the same. He would have to talk to the guards, though. Jim knew the feeling Alexandra had. He knew how it felt when you had the urge to empty your head, to forget everything. He couldn't do it though, even if sometimes he dreamt of doing it.
"When do you want me to meet you?" She changed the subject.
"Meet us at 10. You should get changed. We don't want you to get a cold, do we?" He winked at her before leaving. Alexandra exhaled loudly, she had not noticed she was holding her breath.
"God, he must really be happy to see me again," she mumbled to herself. "Otherwise, girl, you would be locked in a cell right now, having to explain why you've been OTG to a forbidden place."
She had a quick shower and dressed in dark brown cargo pants and a white tank top she found in her dresser. Her clothes were a little bit too big and it made her realize how much weight she had lost. Her strict diet and her intensive training had made her more muscular, but it had also made her thinner. She lay on the sofa, exhausted.
"Just a nap, just a little nap," she mumbled to herself before quickly falling asleep.
A knock at the door woke her up.
"Damn it," she cursed, looking at her watch. It was 9, she had already slept for 4 hours. She opened the door, rubbing her eyes.
"Oh sorry, did I wake you up?"
"Don't worry Maddy, it's ok," she yawned.
"I'm so happy you're back," she blurted out, before wrapping Alexandra in her arms. Her spontaneity made Alexandra smile. She had always like Maddy, she was so easy going.
"Thanks," Alexandra murmured before pulling out of her embrace. "Good morning by the way," she smiled, gesturing her arm to invite her in.
"Good morning Alex," Maddy beamed, entering.
"Huh… Do you want something to drink? A cup of tea maybe?"
"Huh…" She said, embarrassed. "You have nothing left in your cupboards." Alexandra arched her eyebrows at Maddy's comment. Of course, they had probably cleaned the house, they were not going to leave food in an empty house.
"I haven't checked the house yet," she grimaced.
"Don't worry," Maddy smiled. "I brought you breakfast."
"Wow, you're perfect. Thank you!" Alexandra said, grabbing the bag full of fruit she was giving her. She had not realized how hungry she was. She started to eat then stopped. "Don't you wanna eat something?"
"I already did," she replied. Alexandra nodded and continued her breakfast.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"
"My mother, Zoe and I, we'd like you to have lunch with us, then spend the afternoon and the evening with us. Kind of girl's day, you know." Alexandra stopped chewing, her mouth opened in surprise.
"Oh… Well, it would have been great, but I'm busy today."
"What's your plan for the day?"
"I… I need to work with Malcolm," she lied. Well, it was not a real lie, she really had to see Malcolm, but it would not take much time.
"Malcolm? Oh come on, I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow. It's gonna be fun!"
"I'm not sure I'm ready for this Maddy," she winced.
"You need to socialize a bit," Maddy mocked. "And you can't work while you have a year's worth of gossip to catch up on!"
"We've got plenty of time to do it later," Alexandra tried to convince her. "And I think your father told your mother to give me some space," she reminded her gently.
"Oh yes, he did. But he said it was a good idea to spend some time with you, so you wouldn't waste your time hanging around." There he was. Alexandra smiled at the thought of Jim telling the girls it would be a brilliant idea to keep her busy so she could not run away in the jungle again. Smart move.
"I don't know," Alexandra was trying to find an excuse, but nothing came.
"Come on, Zoe is so excited that you're back, she hasn't stopped talking about you since yesterday! She's scared you're gonna leave us without seeing her. You really need to talk to her!" Alexandra couldn't refuse Maddy's invitation. She was so gentle and generous, it was almost impossible to say no to her and the Shannons had always been good to her.
"Ok," she sighed, smiling. "For Zoe then!"
"Of course, for Zoe," she chuckled. "By the way, could I borrow your plex? Mine is dead and Mark asked Malcolm to repair it, but it's gonna take ages."
"Sure, it's on the shelf, second case on the left."
"I thought you hadn't checked the house yet," she chuckled, impressed.
"It's still my house," she smirked. Maddy took the plex and put it in her bag.
"Ok, I have to go. Meet me at noon at my house, ok?"
"Ok!"
"See you!"
"Bye!"
Alexandra was slowly chewing a piece of fruit, thinking. She realized she had accepted her invitation a little bit too quickly. She really meant it when she had said she was not ready for it. Maybe she could call her back and tell her to do it another day. No, she couldn't, she had said yes and she would have to explain to her why she didn't want to go and it would end in a group therapy session about how her family broke her heart. No, she would go, she had no other choice.
