Somewhere I belong
It was almost 10 and Alexandra was in front of the headquarters, staring at the building. She was hesitating, wondering if she should get inside or not. She didn't really have the choice, yet she wasn't sure she wanted to go and see everyone again. She wondered if Jim had told Taylor about her little trip. Probably not.
Alexandra took a deep breath and walked upstairs to the headquarters. She froze when she entered. Lucas was there with Thomas next to him, chatting casually. So what? They were friends now? Of course, she should have known Lucas would be here, even if she had hoped otherwise. She had asked for Malcolm to be here, not Lucas. And why Thomas? Was this a kind of test to see if she was ready to behave herself? He had a bandage around his head. Surely it was there so she would show her regret. Well, they would be disappointed because she did not regret a single thing she had done.
Jim and Malcolm where talking with Taylor while Damon was showing them something on a plex. She recomposed herself and cleared her throat to show them she had arrived. Malcolm smiled at her and gave her a quick hug.
"Nice to see you again," he said warmly.
"You too," she smiled lightly. She could feel everybody staring at her, like they were waiting to see if she was not going to run away or hit someone, maybe even shoot someone.
"So, Alex, I assume you have something to show me," Malcolm guessed.
"Indeed, Malcolm. I think you'll like it."
"First, if you don't mind, let's talk," Taylor intervened. "We need to know more about your last year in the future. You told us about a war, nuclear bombs, enemies… Tell us."
"It's complicated. Maybe it would be easier if you ask me questions and I answer," she explained to him. She didn't know where to start and she was not going to tell them everything, unless they wanted to know.
"What happened after you left?" Jim started. "Where did you arrive?"
"We ended up in a house. A house in a lost village in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by the desert. Somewhere in what used to be Africa."
"What did your father do?" Taylor inquired.
"My father carried me to a doctor," her fingers reached her throat as she was talking. It was not a good memory. She was a total mess when the doctor had seen her. He had sewed her skin from her different cuts, then he had drugged her for a week so she would heal and rest properly. "After a week, I… We left."
"How? I mean, were there people waiting for your father?" Taylor insisted.
"I don't remember clearly," she lied. She just didn't want to remember her arrival. "I was… too weak. But people were there when we arrived and the doctor I saw was a soldier. I guess they were waiting for us."
"Where did you go after?" Jim continued.
"We flew to America, to Hope Plaza. That's when I first met The Anarchists." Alexandra looked at Thomas and he held her stare.
"What was your father's plan?" Damon wondered.
"Build other portals and sell them to the best bidder," Alexandra answered, her gaze still on Thomas. "Remember me, why is he here?" She asked with disdain, her eyes still locked on Thomas.
"You didn't give me the time to explain it to you yesterday... He's our communication engineer," Taylor answered before continuing the discussion as if she had said nothing. "How many portals did he built?"
"7." Her gaze was going back and forth between Lucas and Thomas, her eyes narrowing on them. She was wondering why they seemed so close.
"Damn it," Taylor cursed, bringing Alexandra back to the reality of their conversation.
"Oh, don't worry. I've already destroyed 5 of them. No wait, I came through the sixth one. So I guess there's only one left."
"What?" Taylor shook his head in disbelief. "You did what?"
"I told you my plan was to destroy the portals. It's what I've done. It took me months to prepare my trap, but I did it. I found allies to help me."
"Allies?" It was the first time Lucas spoke.
"I might have made some friends after all," she said casually, her answer making him frown.
"What kind of job were you doing for your father?" Malcolm claimed. "Were you helping him building the portals?"
"No, I… I was his second. I was there for his protection. I was there to handle… things." Her face darkened at the thoughts of what she had done for him.
"Did you… handle a lot of things?" Jim asked, concerned.
"Too much," she whispered.
"But you spied on your father, didn't you?" Damon asked, his eyes narrowing.
"Yes."
"How did you destroy the portals?" He continued.
"I… I waited for him to sell them and then I put a virus in them."
"A virus?"
"I hijacked them."
"How could someone have bought a portal without knowing if it was working?" Jim wondered to himself aloud. "It doesn't make sense."
"My father used to do a demonstration." Her answer made all of them freeze, leaving the room silent. They all understood what it meant. Her father had showed his clients how to use the portal. He had come here and then gone back into the future. He had been there, right under their nose and they had not known it. But it also meant something else. It meant that Alexandra had had the opportunity to come back, to run away, but she had not done it, she had not tried. Alexandra knew exactly what they were thinking and she felt the need to explain her actions.
"I had a plan, remember? I had to keep to it. I needed to destroy the portals to keep Terra Nova safe."
"So this explains the different signals I've recorded…" Malcolm muttered.
"What went wrong with the sixth one?" Jim inquired.
"I got caught. Simple."
"Where were you going? Where were they driving you?"
"To a prison… A special one you don't wanna know about."
"How did you fall from the helicopter?" Jim asked eagerly, curious to know how she had managed to escape.
"I could see the portal in a case in the cockpit… It was not even locked. I had to try. I cut the rope that was tied to my wrists, slicing it on my belt, and when one of the two guardians kneeled down to grab something on the floor, I kicked him in the head. I grabbed the case and the second guardian tried to shoot me. I moved just in time to avoid the bullet, but it ended up in the pilot's shoulder. The helicopter started to spin and I was ejected with the guard, my hand tightly gripped to the case. In my fall, I managed to open it and set the portal on. Then you know what happened."
"Do you know how to create a portal?" Lucas asked suddenly.
"Is it why you wanted me here?" Malcolm added, excited.
"No, I don't know how to create a portal… But I have something that might help you," she said before pulling up her shirt, turning her back to them and showing them her waist. They all dropped their mouths open in surprised.
"This is amazing… Utterly crazy, but amazing!" Malcolm murmured as he approached her to see more clearly.
"I had no other choice. I needed to have it, but I didn't want to know it. Because if I was caught and tortured, I didn't want to be able to tell this secret. If I don't see it, I can't know it, remember?"
"You tattooed it…" Damon mumbled. "You tattooed in on your skin!" His voice was a mix of reproach and disbelief. Lucas was staring at her back, speechless. From here, it looked like a drawing, like wings; but it was not wings, it was calculations. He could recognize them anywhere.
"Wait, you haven't seen the best part," she smiled. "Do you have a blue light?"
"I have one," Malcolm said, quickly going to find it in his bag.
"Turn it on," she ordered him.
"Oh my God," Malcolm exclaimed as he pointed the light into her direction.
"Is it good?" Alexandra asked him. "Does it look good? I mean, I have never seen it."
"It's perfect," Malcolm beamed, excited. "It's just perfect."
"Wait a minute, if you've never seen it, and obviously you couldn't do it to yourself, who did it?" Damon asked, a hint of jealousy in the voice.
"A person I trust."
"How do you know?" Taylor spoke for the first time since she had showed them her tattoo.
"I know it. You have to trust me on this," she said firmly.
"Do you know how to read it?" Malcolm started to wonder. "Because, those calculations, they are… It's unbelievable."
"Well you…" All of a sudden, Alexandra stopped speaking as she felt hands on her back. Warm, gentle, knowing hands, ones she could recognize anywhere.
"One way on the left side, the return on the right side," Lucas whispered, his fingers tracing a route from one side to the other, sending shivers through Alexandra's body. Then he pulled down the hem of her shirt to hide her flesh from everyone's sight, allowing his fingers to caress her skin at the same time.
"Can I see it again? I didn't really see the…" Malcolm asked, coming back to her, but Lucas didn't move from his spot, clearly forbidding him from getting closer.
"You go to the lab and bring back a camera," he commanded him. There was no place for discussion in his order. He was taking charge. "The multifunction one." Malcolm looked at Taylor who nodded in agreement.
Alexandra stepped away from Lucas' proximity and put her shirt back into her trousers. His attitude was a little bit too possessive to reassure her. Her last meeting with him had not ended that way, he was not supposed to act like that.
Damon noticed Lucas' possessive behavior too. He didn't like it. If Alexandra needed someone, he'd prefer this person to be him, not Lucas. Above all not Lucas. Damon was suddenly back to a year ago, jealous of Lucas' power over Alexandra, afraid to lose her to him. It was really strange to realize how easily those feelings had come back, like they had never really left him.
"We've got the calculations. Now we need a portal. You said you didn't know how to build a portal, but maybe you saw interesting things that could help us?" Lucas asked her.
"Why do you want to create a portal? You can't go to the future, it's too risky. They are gonna wait for you."
"We need to have the choice," Lucas said seriously. "We need to be on the same level as your father." Alexandra stared at him, thinking about what he had just said. She knew he was right, if they wanted to be protected, they needed a portal too.
"I saw plans… Maybe I can draw them."
"Good, you do that. Thomas, you have a look at it and tell us if anything is of interest to us," Lucas commanded him.
"I'm not staying with him," Alexandra frowned.
"Yes you are," Lucas said seriously.
"It's ok, I can have a look at them when she's done," Thomas proposed, embarrassed.
"No, you'll work together," Lucas ordered firmly. Alexandra folded her arms on her chest, scowling.
"Since when are you in charge here?" She asked, annoyed.
"Everything that concerns the portal is his," Taylor informed her. Alexandra sighed loudly, but didn't say anything about this new information. Of course, Lucas would always be concerned about everything that directly or indirectly affect the portal and time travel.
"Can we do this later? I need to go," she asked Taylor.
"Where?"
"Well, I've got a date actually."
"A date?"
"A girls date." For once, Alexandra was grateful for Maddy's invitation. She had the perfect excuse for leaving them. "Haven't I, Jim?" She grinned at him.
"Huh…" He cleared his throat. "Indeed. She's spending the afternoon with the girls at home."
"I think we should start working now," Lucas insisted.
"I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow," he replied calmly, making Lucas tighten his jaw in frustration. Lucas had difficulty controlling himself so as not to argue his father. Alexandra's knowledge was too important to wait one more day before working on it.
Alexandra noticed him staring at the floor, anger evident on his face, rage boiling inside him. The same rage he had before, the kind of rage he couldn't control before. She was quite surprised to see him stay silent, keeping his anger shut inside.
"Lucas, you work with Malcolm and Thomas to prepare everything for tomorrow. Alex, can I talk to you in private?" Taylor wondered. She looked at him, bewildered, and quickly glanced to the others to see if they knew why he wanted to see her alone. None of them seemed to know, yet none of them seemed to be worried about it. She didn't like the idea of staying alone with him, even after their open hearted discussion. She still had plenty on her heart to spit that she refused to say. Anyway, she had no reason not to accept his demand.
"Ok," she shrugged before following him outside.
"I wanted to be sure we are fine," he started once they were alone on the balcony. "I mean, I know we resolved most of our problems yesterday but… We haven't talked about few things and I think we should talk about."
"Like the fact you killed my mother?" she said, her voice almost a whisper, as her eyes were staring away. Taylor was extremely surprised to realize she had figured out exactly what he wanted to say.
"Like the fact that I killed your mother," he replied calmly.
"There's nothing to say Commander. I… I hated you, but that phase is over. I know you didn't intend to shoot her. I know the bullet was meant for my dad. I don't know if this is more comforting though. Still, you killed her. It's not something I can really comprehend. I know she's dead, I know it's because of you, but… I'm not gonna say she deserved it, because it would be wrong. But she knew what she was doing, she knew what she was risking, she wanted to be with my father, knowing it could happen."
"Still, I'm sorry it happened. I'm sorry I hurt you."
"I'm sure you are. Like I told you yesterday, the past is the past, what's been done is done. There's nothing good that can come from living with regrets."
"So, we are definitely ok?" he asked hopefully.
"Apologies accepted," she said simply. Her answer made his face lighten in relieve.
"Have a good time with the girls," he smiled, lightly squeezing her shoulder with his hand, before returning inside, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
She was perplexed about how the event had turned out, but she felt a little bit better now that was done. She had told them her story, she had showed them her tattoo and she would help them build a new portal. Now she was going to have a girly day with some people she used to love like family. In a normal life, it would be a good day. In her life, it still didn't make any sense. Was she still able to have fun and enjoy a nice time with friends? She wasn't sure but she would find out soon as it was almost noon.
"The show must go on," she encouraged herself before going downstairs, heading in the direction of the Shannon's house.
