Notes that pertain to this chapter:

Hi! New chapter here! This one is nice and long, to make up for the shortness of the last one.

I wonder if anyone else has been having more problems with their fanfic account? This time, I can log in, but afterward, I can't gain access to certain parts of my page. I couldn't get onto my story stats for several days, and when I finally did, it had stopped working (tallying the number of hits and visitors.) This is the first day I've been able to get into the publishing section. So this is my mindset right now: "!" XD XD

Front door: In this time period, the dignity of entering a grand house through the front door was reserved solely for the owners of said house, and for their high-class callers and friends. Servants and people of the 'lower classes' would have been obligated to use a back door, or 'servant's entrance.'

Hired carriage: Carriages (and drivers, called coachmen,) in the city which were not owned by the person using them, but could be hired out to drive people to their destinations, either within the city or at a reasonable distance. Sort of like historical taxis. The wealthy and affluent would never have used these services, given that they all owned their own (much fancier) carriages. Lydia's patronization of a hired carriage, along with her general dress and some of her modes of speech, are all indicative of a person who is well-provided for, but not fantastically affluent.

Last thing: I finally put up my profile information! :D I'm trying to upload a picture at this moment. Hooray! Now people can actually find out stuff about me, if they feel so inclined. :3

"Where is she?"

A flaxen-haired young boy was currently pacing the length of his study inside the Phantomhive manor, forehead rutted with premature stress lines as he wrinkled his brow. Standing over in the corner, another male, older and darker, watched his progress with slitted red eyes. He frowned. "Young master, I would implore you not to work yourself into such a state, given that she still has plenty of time….she said yesterday that she would be here around 3 o'clock today, and it is yet half an hour until then."

"Yes, but still." The boy frowned even more deeply than his servant, then, unwilling to continue his monologue, proceeded to slump over into the high-backed chair that sat behind the great oak desk. Normally, Sebastian would have taken this opportunity to remind the young heir of the dignity of proper posture, but at the moment he felt that this would be quite reckless. Ciel's mood, which had taken on a distinctly darkened tone ever since the now-dead patriarch had first moved into the manor, was even more wild and unpredictable now that this extraordinary happenstance has occurred. He had barely said anything all morning, and stared out of windows as if in a daze.

Sebastian tried another tack. "Perhaps it would do to read through some of these papers while you wait?" The demon pushed a stack of receipts, certificates, and sympathy cards toward the young earl, who regarded them with an emotionless eye.

"Take them away. I care nothing for them."

"Not meaning to trouble you, young master, but for appearance's sake, you must-"

"God damn appearance." Ciel stated calmly in a hard, flat voice. "I've spent my life in keeping up these ridiculous appearances."

Quite appalled at the language which his master was employing, Sebastian had already opened his mouth to scold the boy when Ciel turned toward him suddenly, eyes flaring. "As for today, Sebastian, when Lydia arrives, I want you to serve us tea and scones, as per usual for guests, and then I want you to leave. We shall not be needing you further. I wish to speak to my sister in private."

"But master, I-" Sebastian protested, now doubly displeased. He was eager to talk with Lydia again, to learn where she had been for so long, and what her plans were now. He had been most upset when she had declared her intention to leave the manor the night before. He wanted to offer, once more….

"No." Ciel interrupted his demon yet again. "You were enough of a nuisance yesterday, what with your disgraceful speech and behavior towards her. I will not allow this to happen again. You will leave us be today."

"Young master, please, allow me to explain. You do not understand. I feel not the slightest bit of contempt for your sister. Master Lydia and I have quite a history together, and it is in this way that-"

"Silence, man! Are you an idiot? Do you not understand your position? You will do as I say!" Ciel demanded, gesturing violently toward the demon. At once, Sebastian's red eyes widened as the burning within him intensified. Ciel did not watch as the other male hissed and doubled over against the wall, instead turning to stare out the window again, an emotion building up in him which he could not identify. Master Lydia and I have quite a history together…. There is was again, that arrogant claim of familiarity, of belonging from Sebastian. She's not your sister. He felt like replying defiantly, although he knew this would sound ridiculously petulant, so he did not. Stupid demon…. Eventually, remembering that Sebastian still had to go downstairs and actually prepare the tea and scones that he was to serve them, Ciel waved his hand once more and cut the burning. Accusatory red eyes stared back into his own, but the demon said nothing more as he was dismissed and bowed his way stiffly out of the room. Sebastian sighed as he slipped back down the stairs, rubbing his forehead with his white-gloved hand. It seemed that the events of the past few days were only serving to exacerbate the already existing tensions between his young master and himself. No surprise there, he thought to himself, after all, it had always been this way….well, almost always, anyway….

/

Lydia thought that Sebastian seemed rather discontented that afternoon as he greeted the hired carriage that pulled up in front of the manor, and helped her down from the compartment. The fact that she was pulling up at all, in the front of the manor, no less, was a new and disconcerting thing to her mind, and it made her stare about strangely as they walked across the front path to the gigantic carved doors. Since it was a fine Spring day, Lydia was wearing a light green, sleeved dress- a simple dress, without the attachments of corsets, cage hoops, or ribbons- with her hair down in double braids once again. A single violet ladies' glove covered her right hand. Sebastian gripped her exposed left hand rather tightly as they went along. Both of his gloves were off, but she thought nothing of it. It was to be expected. He seemed tense- perhaps because the guests were still here? This made her wonder.

"Sebastian, should we really be going into the manor through the front door? The guests will spot us, more n'likely. Is it safe?" she questioned, angling her head upward to gaze upon the taller man. Her speech seemed to set off something within him, and his eyes widened, and then narrowed- but all that he said was,

"No one has seen you here for more than five years, master. And anyway, you are with me. I will not allow danger to befall you."

"Where are we going, then?"

"Your brother-" again Sebastian's usually impassive face twisted into a momentary frown- "wishes to take afternoon tea with you in a secluded part of the manor. You shall not be disturbed there, I should think. Your aunt is currently dealing with mortuary business at your grandfather's estate, and will not return here tonight. After your conversation with your brother, master-" his cold hand pulled at hers insistently. "will you stay? Tanaka and I have prepared a fine room for you upstairs, away from all the others that are now occupied."

Lydia had opened her mouth to interrupt him upon the question, but then closed it again and let him finish. She did not hesitate in her response, however. "I will not. Thank you for your trouble, but I must return to my home before sundown."

Sebastian paused as they cleared the last of the outside steps. "This is your home." He said deeply, seriously. "You were born here. Your family-"

Without knowing that she was going to do it, Lydia suddenly began to laugh. She laughed and clutched her sides, without bitterness, but with honest, incredulous humor in her voice. Ah, what a thing this was, a thing to beat all! To think of her, herself, Lydia, pulling up to the front of this manor in a carriage, exactly as if she were a fine lady- and serious, somber Sebastian having the temerity to call it her home! To think of all of her half-relatives who were probably rolling over in their graves right now- what a thing, indeed! Sebastian appeared torn between exasperation and amusement as he observed her laughing face, her bouncing braids that heaved up and down with her chest. A lively wind whipped through the grounds, but it brought no onlookers with it. They were quite alone. At last, the demon put a black-clad arm around Lydia and pulled her to the side, ushering her gradually back into quiet. She smiled up into his face. "I know you have a sense of humor." She asserted, brushing her dark hair back into place. "I am going to assume that that was a joke."

The demon sighed and bit his pale lip, but did not protest otherwise. He strode in front of Lydia as she set out across the veranda, pulling the door open swiftly and bowing his master inside Phantomhive manor.

It was dark inside. It was cold. The expansive front room curtains had not yet been opened, leaving the entrance hall looking like a sepulcher. The portraits upon the walls were shadowed as they headed for the main staircase. Chills of half-remembered dread were threading their way through Lydia's body as she swept along, peering all around, then all around again. She was waiting for someone whom she knew would not be here, could not be here, to step out of the shadows and bring the manor's undercurrent of menace to the surface. Up the stairs and down the hall, muted voices were murmuring, just like that day. Lydia stopped. Perhaps coming in this way hadn't been such a good idea after all…. She thought quite strongly of the servant's entrance in back, the comfortably anonymous way in which she had always entered until now. Her body started a bit in fright as Sebastian put his hands upon her shoulders. "Master, please calm down. There is nothing to be afraid of. The things you are remembering are merely shadows now."

"Some shadows are long." Lydia replied, glancing back toward the grand doors, through the bottom of which she could make out just the tiniest crack of sunlight.

Sebastian's face seemed to swim in common amidst the darkness, and his eyes glowed red. "Master, I will protect you." He murmured, attempting to guide her forward again. Lydia balked.

"How can you protect me against something that's already happened?"

The demon's eyes turned down, and he loomed over her, his presence clinging as the darkness all around them. "Please." He said. "Press on through your fearful memories….for….Ciel."

The girl's bright eyes turned up to the hallway on the second floor, remembering that her brother was waiting for her in some out-of-the-way room up there, remembering how unwilling he had been to let her leave the night before. Yes, Sebastian was right. She must not yield to the shadows, for Ciel's sake. Without a word, she began again the steady march across the empty hall, an unhappy demon trailing softly behind her.

On the second floor, the air grew warmer, and there were corridors washed in the natural light from outside. Sebastian sped up to walk beside Lydia as the pair drew nearer to the source of the murmurs. Around a corner there was gathered an impromptu huddle of men, dressed in fine clothing and top hats, muttering confidentially into the space between them all. They stopped as the two figures approached, and watched them pass attentively. Lydia tried to watch them without seeming to look, wondering if perhaps there were faces and voices here which she would recognize from times past. Further down the hall, they passed the occasional woman on her way to somewhere, and once, a door swung open and a child darted out, then ran back inside at the call of his mother. How many people were staying here? Lydia wondered as they progressed past the occupied parts of the manor. Down the lengths of several hallways which faced away from the sun, there was a grander door inlaid into the wall, which they drew up to. Lydia waited for Sebastian to knock, but instead he pulled her aside into an alcove.

"Master, I do not know how much time this meeting will occupy. My lord has forbidden me to stay; I must serve the tea and leave you two to privacy. However, afterward, if the light is not fading from the sky, will you linger here awhile? I want very much to talk with you."

So that was why he seemed so discontented. Ah, Sebastian. Lydia nodded, giving his shoulder a casual shove as she regained some of her usual ease. He put a hand on her head softly. "Call for me before you return to the occupied part of the manor. I don't want you walking around here alone until all of our guests have left us be." Rolling her eyes at the gentle remonstration, Lydia stepped out of his way as he proceeded to knock on the door, which opened very quickly to reveal a nervous-looking Ciel Phantomhive within. Lydia was seized with the sudden, maternalistic desire to soothe him as she stepped inside and greeted her little brother. Ciel nodded, gave a vague order for tea in Sebastian's general direction, and shut the door as the demon turned away.

The master's study was in much more tasteful order than it had been when its last master had occupied it, Lydia noticed immediately. The furniture matched now, and the velvet-red wallpaper prudently added to its general confidential feel. Back when Ciel's father had used this study, the décor had been ridiculously ostentatious at best, and utterly garish at worst. When she had still been a child, she had thought that the man simply had abominable taste in appropriate furnishings, but as she had grown older, she had realized that it was not Vincent, but Sebastian who dealt with the manor's room designs. Apparently, the husband of his then-master could force the demon to arrange his quarters, but he couldn't make him do it correctly. Ciel though, with the power of the contract directly behind him, apparently could.

The flaxen-haired boy gestured quietly to a miniature table set up in front of the room's window, probably intended for Ciel to recline and take refreshment upon when he was not working at his main desk. "Will you sit?" he murmured. Lydia sat down in the single chair, then got back up immediately to help her brother as he awkwardly attempted to pull his heavier desk chair over to the table. He flinched away spontaneously as her green-covered arm touched his, then stood in the middle of the floor, looking like he had absolutely no idea what to do as Lydia easily lifted the carved chair and carried it over to the window. The brown-haired girl suddenly recalled with startling clarity a nursery game that they had played when Ciel had been very small, in which she would lift up a chair that he was sitting on and carry it around the playroom while he laughed and crowed in delight. He had never been more than a foot off the ground, but to him it had felt like flying. They could play games like this for hours, and whenever they had walked outside the nursery, even if it was just to go down the hall, Ciel would cling contentedly to her hand. Yes, things had changed, she whispered in her mind as the two siblings shyly resumed their places at the window-table. Far more than she had realized on the first day that she had hidden outside the manor, things had changed with her brother.

"Madam Red….sends her regards." Ciel began quietly, staring out the window into the bright gardens below. "She wants to get together with you as soon as she returns from grandfather's estate. The funeral will be in a week. The guests here should be cleared out within a few days at most."

Lydia nodded, thinking gently of her mother's sister. "How is Aunt Angelina?"

"The same as she's always been." Ciel responded, looking back from the window. "She still works at the hospital, is obsessed with fashion, and attends every social event which comes her way. Even so, she hasn't found a husband yet. I'm not entirely sure she wants to. You remember how freewheeling she is."

Lydia nodded again. "Does she come around here often?"

Ciel shrugged. "She spends most of her time in London, where she works. She is most comfortable in the suave neighborhoods there. She comes out here for balls and the occasional holiday visit, and sometimes she drags me to London for social events during the season. I don't really like attending parties, though."

"I see." Lydia said softly. She was biting her tongue around the question that she really wanted to ask, and for some reason, she could not think of a smooth way to segue into it. She wished quite strongly that her flamboyant aunt was there with them. Her easygoing manner would have made it much less stressful to maintain a conversation in this type of situation. This is my brother, Lydia thought, daring to steal glance at his smaller figure. I shouldn't be nervous. That glance informed her that Ciel, who was unknowingly twisting his sleeve between his fingers, was thinking almost exactly the same thing. Nervously, she blurted out, "And how have you been, Ciel?"

The cobalt-blue eyes jumped to meet her own, and the boy seemed to curl into himself. Lydia understood; the question was huge. Seeking to help him out, she asked, "I mean, how is your school life going? And how are things at the manor? I noticed that you've hired some new help." She indicated down toward the garden, where the thatch-blonde head of the young gardener from yesterday was visibly poking out of a bush.

"Yes, Finnian is the gardener here now. Meirin is the maid, and Bard serves as our chef. I hired them on about three years ago to replace our older staff, everyone but Tanaka. With the death of my father, I felt it was time to bring some new blood into the Phantomhive service."

"They look like kind people." Lydia murmured, turning her eyes away from the familiar-and-yet-unfamiliar study which had used to belong to Vincent. "It is quite late, Ciel, but you have my condolences for the loss of your father."

"I know. I received your letter back then." The boy replied quickly, indicating to a certain drawer in his desk. "As for my schooling, it is going well. I am taught privately here at the manor by a vast array of authorities in many fields. Sebastian acts as my tutor when they are not around. There is much I need to learn in order to continue to expand the Funtom Company."

"I imagine so. Speaking of which, I have something to give you which once was lost." Lydia declared, figuring that she had better do it now before nervousness caused her to forget. She reached into her dress pocket and pulled out a kerchief, which she carefully peeled open and held out to her brother. The Phantomhive family ring glinted coldly before his eyes. Ciel looked stunned.

"Mother gave that to you." Was all he said.

"Yes, for my jewel trousseau….but in truth, I never wanted it. I never wore it, even after she passed away. I only agreed to take it to soothe her mind as she was dying, but I always meant to give it back to you. With grandfather's death, you are the inheritor of the Funtom Company and the true head of the Phantomhive house. It's more fitting that you should have it, since it's so symbolic." Lydia brushed her braids behind her shoulders again as she laid the ring down in front of Ciel. He bit his lip and looked directly at her for the first time.

"But what about you?"

"What about me?"

"What about your birthright?" Ciel gestured all around him as he spoke.

"I already gave my birthright up to you when I left, five years ago, as you know." She reminded the small boy gently, trying to make the monumental statement sound as nonchalant as possible. "Forgive me, I should have made this clear upon first arriving, but things were very hectic yesterday, after all. I want to assure you that I haven't come back to reclaim any of your possessions for myself. The manor, the titles, the company, the fortune, Sebastian….they all stay with you. I came back for personal reasons alone."

"But, Lydia-" Ciel sputtered, using her name for the first time, "what are you going to do?"

His expression was so comically incredulous that Lydia had to call upon great self-control in order to refrain from laughing. "I've been doing just fine over the past five years, Ciel." She reminded him, smiling out the window. "I'm quite certain that I can continue. I have employment; and that ring wasn't the only piece of jewelry that mother bequeathed to me. She gave me boxes and boxes of valuable pieces before she died, to be sold whenever my father or I felt the need for money. Even so, we've never had to depend on them. It's only recently that we've even opened the first box, to pay for my university education."

"But- wait- university?" Ciel exclaimed, forgetting all mannerisms of politeness and gaping at her unabashedly. "You're still going to school?"

In the case of an older male, this blatantly sexist question would have made Lydia angry. Coming from her little brother, however, who clearly had no idea what he was saying, it was unexpectedly innocuous. She sat up straighter, and leaned forward toward him. "Ye-es, Ciel," she answered, with a little bit of a laugh in her voice. "I enrolled in the local university about half a year ago, in order to earn a degree that will help me in my career."

"I don't understand." He told her bluntly, shaking his head. "I'm sorry for my rudeness, but this is all a bit much for me to come to terms with so suddenly. You're here, and you've got all this-all this- all these changes- a gigantic soul, apparently, and a university education, and you're older, and-"He sighed gustily, staring down at the ring on the tabletop. "I've wondered all this time about what you were doing with your life, away from this place."

"I'm sorry you had to wonder." She told him softly, convulsively, like a knee-jerk response. His eyes flashed up, and he seemed to gain a bit of his old temperament back.

"You….there's nothing for you to be sorry about." Ciel's shoulders drew together again, and he stared determinedly out the window. "If you feel so inclined, perhaps you could tell me about these things that you've been doing? Where have you been living? What happened after you left th-"

At that moment, a soft knocking sounded on the door. Flicking his eyes toward the noise in annoyance, Ciel called for his butler to enter. Sebastian slipped into the room silently, drawing the tea cart behind him with one hand and bowing gracefully toward the two at the table. His red eyes widened slightly as he seemed to take in the unexplained strangeness of the scene- Lydia looking serious and thoughtful, Ciel still looking as stunned as if he'd been run over by a cart-horse, and the Phantomhive family ring glittering on the table between them both. Ciel jerked his head at the demon. "Well? Don't just stand there, man! My sister and I have things to discuss."

Murmuring "yes, young master," Sebastian set about to setting out the scones and pouring the tea in an elegant fashion, going much more slowly than Lydia knew he was capable of. Ciel crossed his arms and pressed his lips together, staring once more at the ring. He seemed unwilling to begin the discussion again while Sebastian was still in the room. Lydia decided to honor his wishes on this, given that they were currently managing to have their first genuine (albeit slightly awkward) private conversation in five years, and she wanted to keep this going as well as possible. Sebastian glanced interestedly between the two of them, waiting for one of their faces to give away what was going on. The presence of the ring on the table seemed to especially concern him; he stared at it a long while. As he set her napkin down, he brushed up against her arm, and before she knew it, his pale lips were inches away from her ear. "Master," he whispered deeply, "I would implore you to consider your options before you act. Much had changed in five years. You have-"

"Sebastian, that's enough!" Ciel cut in loudly, and for a moment, the demon's eyes changed from their usual dark red. They lit up in fire, the pupil narrowed, and his face contorted into a vicious expression that was far less than human. Had he been looking into her eyes, Lydia was sure she would have cried out; her heart rattled like a dropped tin plate. She knew what Sebastian was, of course, but it had been a long time since she had had to physically confront that reality. What must it have been like for Ciel, she wondered suddenly, to face down a creature like Sebastian at so young an age, when the demon was angry and untethered from his family's ability to control him?

Ciel had not seen Sebastian's face, since he was facing away from him, but the young aristocrat saw Lydia stiffen and pull back, and he slapped his hand against the table aggressively. "Sebastian! Get out! That's-"

"Please, master, you've only just come back. Don't make any promises or rash decisions. Think about your place in this noble house." The demon intoned urgently, sliding the ring back across the table toward Lydia. Ciel's eyebrow shot up in confusion.

Ah. So he knows. Lydia thought. She leaned back in her chair, draping her arms over the sides. "You mean in regards to you?"

Sebastian peered into her face earnestly, his eyes not denying it. "Master, I have always been yours. I only want to serve you. You can still take what you refused back then. Let me help you."

"Sebastian-" Lydia began gently, reaching out to touch him on the shoulder. The demon seized her hand and pushed it back into her lap, brutal strength masking brutal pain revealing brutal desperation. "Master, listen to me." He demanded, moving closer, his demeanor beginning to shift from submissive to dominant. "You need to understand what is before you. Everything is different now. That man is dead. I can-"

"Enough." The voice of her brother cut across the room, surprising Lydia with its calmness. He intoned the command not as a shout, but as a final, definitive statement. Sebastian choked on his next word, and growled in frustration when he found himself no longer able to speak. Wrapping his fingers around her right arm, he appealed to Lydia with his eyes, while Ciel looked at her expectantly. The brown-haired girl just wanted to run at that point- these two together were an utter disaster- but she reminded herself that as the daughter of her father, she ought to show more courage. She placed her left hand on the demon's shoulder, and softly pushed him back.

"Sebastian, Ciel is right." She told him, trying to make her voice sound soothing, wondering if it would even make a difference. "He and I are trying to discuss private things right now; you should leave us be. I will talk to you later today. I'm not going to forget." The demon was not pleased, his red eyes flicking between her face and the ring yet again. "I know what I'm doing." Lydia murmured. Sebastian shook his ebony head emphatically. He pulled at her arm harder, and she firmly withdrew it. In what could have been an accident- could have been, but wasn't, since Sebastian did not make mistakes of that kind- her violet ladies' glove separated from her right hand, and Lydia felt air seeping in through her bandages, startling her out of her confusion. She could almost sense the attention in the room re-directing with alarming rapidity. Knowing that it could not be hidden, she resignedly laid the limb out on her lap for all to see.

Sebastian immediately began to examine it with cat-like curiosity, picking it up and turning it over. He would remember how she had gotten it well, Lydia knew. It had been he who had bandaged it for the very first time. When the room remained silent, Lydia permitted herself to hope that maybe everything would be all right after all. However, these hopes were dashed as she looked up into Ciel's face, and felt her heart clench with remembered dread. His tidy young features had turned from startled to horrified. His shoulders had heaved back, and his fingers were clutching the chair's arms so hard that they had turned white. Lydia had always known that Ciel possessed a delicate disposition, and for a moment, she truly feared for his health. She started forward, pushing Sebastian aside and reaching out for her brother with her unbandaged arm. To her dismay, he once again shied away from her touch, leaning back into the chair as if it could protect him from what he was seeing.

"Ciel! Ciel! It's all right." Lydia assured him, snatching the violet glove from Sebastian and attempting to shove it back onto her arm. The demon watched his young master expressionlessly.

The young boy never took his eyes off the white swath of gauze. "That….that is…." He murmured lowly, a despairing look suddenly heaving itself over his features, unbidden but unable to be contained. "That is….still there? It's still there. It hasn't healed….at all?" He glanced up into her eyes then, as if willing her to tell him otherwise. Lydia would have done so right away, with all her heart, but she knew that Ciel was smarter than to be taken in by childish platitudes of comfort. Bracingly, she told him, "It doesn't matter."

Ciel buckled at this, seeming to shrink before her eyes. He clutched at his head with one hand, obviously trying to remain as composed as possible while cracking on the inside. Lydia had no idea what to do. A moment later, the young aristocrat jerked to his feet and backed away from the table. "I apologize….most deeply. I apologize. I suddenly feel unwell….I think I shall need to go and lie down. Please….the servants will make sure of your comfort…." Ciel trailed off, staring at her, wide-eyed, and suddenly Lydia saw through the visage of the adult that he had put on to the child he really was. Just like he had been back then, he was frightened. She remembered him clinging all the time to the skirts of herself or her mother, but now there was no mother here for him, no family, only a great, empty house haunted by the presence of a demon. Feeling her face turn paler, Lydia dithered. It was in her nature to hold and embrace people when they were distressed, but she wasn't sure that she ought to risk it with Ciel, who seemed so averse to touch already. What had happened while she had been gone to make him like this? Before she could act in any way, Ciel had turned around and hurried toward the door. He whispered, "I apologize," once more, and then practically fled down the shadowed hallway. Lydia could only assume that he had internally compelled Sebastian to follow him, for the demon then raised himself up very reluctantly and trailed behind the young boy as he left. When he attempted to get too close, however, Ciel barked out sharply, "Don't touch me, demon!" and the sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed back down the hallway. Rubbing his right cheekbone, Sebastian turned back around and motioned strongly for Lydia to stay where she was. Then the two figures vanished down the stairwell.

Lydia stood leaning against the small table, feeling as if she herself had just been run over by a cart-horse. Bringing one hand to her head in rather the same way that her brother had, she fought to blink back the tears that threatened the edges of her vision. What had she expected, anyway- smooth sailing? A seamless reunion? She had known when she had come back what this place was like-full of painful secrets and hidden land mines. These difficulties did not surprise her, but she could not deny that it hurt to have her bleakest expectations fleshed out in real life. Now she had brought back some severely painful memories for Ciel. Bother. Damnit. Things had been going along well, and then….Sebastian. Lydia hissed through her teeth as she tried to contain her sudden anger at the black-clad butler. He had slipped her right glove off on purpose, she knew he had, in order to disrupt their conversation. He'd known perfectly damn well what was underneath it, and how Ciel would react. He had gotten exactly what he wanted in that regard. Stupid, manipulative, interfering demon. Lydia sighed and clenched her bandaged fist, wondering what she ought to do now. She had half a mind to run after Ciel and try to talk him down from whatever ledge he had worked himself onto, but she knew that she would probably become lost in the maze of hallways and staircases. This part of the manor was not one in which she'd spent a great deal of time as a child. Neither did she particularly feel like waiting around the study until Sebastian came back, or she might end up throwing the table at the demon. Also, irritation aside….despite the fact that the décor had been completely altered, this was still his study as Lydia had always known it. She glanced around uneasily, imagining that she could still see it the way that it had been in the past. Now that there were no other living presences in the room to distract her, she felt it all the more strongly. She ought not to be here. Nothing good could be here….

/

Ciel Phantomhive stood shakily by the large window in his bedroom, practically leaning against the wooden siding. He had removed his outer vest, clawing it off his body as one might tear away a suffocating shroud, and Sebastian was currently folding it calmly in the background. He waved the demon out immediately after he was finished, even though he knew that the first thing Sebastian would do would be to go and bother his sister once again. He did not feel forceful enough to stop him. Ciel wanted to be alone. The young boy leaned his pounding head against the cool glass, rubbing the scar on the back of his shoulder tentatively. It was deep, but it did not still hurt; and anyway, it was just one scar. He wondered how it would feel to have one's entire arm covered in them, deep and twisted. Mauled. Even after five years- he'd consoled himself by thinking they might have gone away!- her arm was still covered entirely in those bandages, the dreadful color of innocence. That color convicted him. Ciel drew a shallow, shuddering breath, squeezing his eyes closed as he fearfully let himself give in to the truths that he'd tried to suppress. He could suppress them no longer, not when she was right in front of him. She hates me. I know she does. It was my fault. I ruined….everything for her. My existence took away everything that should have been hers. She was always kind to me, but I only ever caused her pain. I ruined her arm and I ruined her chances for a comfortable life. She doesn't want to be a part of this cursed family anymore. She came to give the Phantomhive ring back for good.

/

Lydia leaned out the window, pushing off from the ledge and flying out over the trellis for the second time that month. She landed on the ground and rolled over in the grass, burying her face within the sweet green blades. For awhile, she just lay still and wondered where she ought to go. Was this a mistake? She thought, gripping the grass in her fingers. I don't want to hurt Ciel any more than he's already been damaged. But looking at him, I can tell that my presence is dredging up all the memories that he's probably desperate to forget. He's so different from the way he used to be, as well. Is this….really going to be all right?

Moaning as confusion clashed with faith inside her mind, the brown-haired girl rolled over onto her back, cobalt-blue eyes staring up at the sky, the endless blue. She drew a deeper breath. It's too early to despair. Anyway, none of this is really my plan to begin with. I just have to accept that it's going to be very hard. But You don't make mistakes….of any kind. So I suppose I'll stay. Internal dilemma temporarily resolved, Lydia bit her lip and shifted to her feet, setting out upon the gardens in search of a certain, special tree which she remembered from times long gone, a place where she could feel a bit more safe.

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