Reunion... ;)
Everything
A knock at the door awoke Alexandra from her sorrow. She slowly walked to the door, her eyes burnt from the hours of her crying. She opened the door and found Lucas, his face reflecting sadness, concern and something else Alexandra couldn't define. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration, he seemed like he was struggling with something, but his attitude was calm.
"You know everything, don't you?" She stated, her gazed fixed on his.
"Is that why you told me you didn't want to be with me?" he asked, his eyes questioning her.
Alexandra had not expected this question and it startled her. He was looking deeply into her eyes, waiting for her to answer. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. She looked down to her fidgeting fingers, pursing her lips. He gently placed his finger under her chin, lifting her face up to meet his questioning gaze.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me."
His beautiful deep green eyes were looking at her intensively and she got lost in it. As she didn't move, he leaned slowly to her and pressed his forehead against hers, his eyes shut, slowly inhaling her scent. Her silence was enough of a proof for him. Suddenly, everything made sense. Why she had kept a distance from him, why she had avoided him, why she had acted like she was indifferent, ignoring him, why she had lied to him, why he had felt so unwanted. He was so close to her, closer than he had ever been since she was back. How could he not be moved by her?
Lucas gently put his hands on her throat, his thumbs caressing the line of her jaw. He could feel her pulse quickening its pace under his palms. He opened his eyes and looked at her. She had closed her eyes too, but didn't open them when he stepped back to look at her. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, then he leaned forward and gave her one soft kiss on her lips, a second gentle one and a third tender one. Three kisses that meant so much. She didn't try to escape, she stayed, and it meant even more to Lucas. Her lips, Lucas had dreamt about them so much. They were still as he remembered, soft and tender.
The difference of temperature of their bodies made Alexandra shiver. Lucas had always been so warm. His heat against her cold skin was setting her ablaze. She could feel her cheeks boiling under his hands. His kisses were soft, yet her lips were burning. Suddenly she had hot flushes and, strangely, it reminded her that she had always wondered if his warmth was linked to his warm blooded character. Maybe, or maybe not, but here she was tasting it again and loving it again.
She didn't try to push him away. She didn't want to fight anymore. She wanted him and he wanted her. There was nothing to do about it and she knew she had to stop lying to herself. He moved his forehead back against hers and she moved her hands over his chest, over his heart, feeling it beat strong in his ribcage. She knew his heart belonged to her, as much as hers belonged to him, whether she wished it or not.
"Why can't you leave me?" she sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why are you always coming back to me?"
"Because I love you," he replied simply, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. At the sound of those three words, all of her will vanished. Her heart was winning over her mind. She felt the last bit of resolution melting away. "You're the only thing that feels right in my life." Lucas never knew love could make him feel that way. It was what love was all about. Love could hurt. Love could give you the best and the worst. But Lucas was ready for it. He would do anything for it.
Alexandra saw that his beautiful green eyes were full of love and desire, hypnotizing her. She couldn't resist staying away from him, she had never could. He was her drug, she had been addicted to him since they first met. She had always been. And she wanted him so much, she couldn't fight against it. Nobody else could take her higher than Lucas.
She shut her eyes and tilted her head against his palm as if it was giving her more strength. She felt him press his hand against her skin, supporting her. She raised her head up and, with half opened eyes, she kissed him. She didn't have to wait for long for his response. He kissed her back, his hands surrounding her face, keeping her with him. Their tender and soft kisses slowly changed into hungry and passionate ones.
In no time, Alexandra was pulled up in Lucas' arms and carried to her bedroom. Once there, Lucas slowed down and tried to control his urge. He wanted her so much, it was almost animal. But he couldn't just jump on her like that, even if he could feel she would not disagree with that option. He put her down on her feet and she looked at him with her big dark blue eyes, her gaze unsure. He stared at her, his left hand caressing her cheek, while his right hand was on the small of her back, keeping her firmly close to him.
Alexandra lifted her left hand up and put it gently on his bearded cheek. He rested his face in it, appreciating the sensation of the contact, his eyes locked into hers. Her hand moved to the back of his head, touching his scars, and she pulled his face back to hers, begging for his lips to meet hers again. Lucas didn't need more of an invitation and replied positively to her request.
Both his hands went down her back and under her shirt, pulling her even closer. Alexandra wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his. Lucas grabbed the hem of her shirt and she understood immediately his demand. She raised her arms up and he took her shirt off. She did the same with his shirt and their bodies entered in contact rapidly, the contact of their skins sending them exciting shivers.
Lucas laid her down the bed, his lips not leaving hers. His hands went down and when he reached her waist, he slowly detached the button and the zip of her trousers and pulled them down. He started to kiss her whole body, rediscovering every bit of it. Hurt in her life, hurt forever in her flesh and blood. Yet, still beautiful under his eyes, perfect for him, the only one who could make him feel like that, the only one he had ever loved. Lucas looked meticulously at her body, knowing that every scare had been the consequences of his own decisions.
He glanced at the scars he already knew. The thin ones on her forearms from Mira's torture, the round one on her abdomen from his shout and the straight one on her belly from the abortion. He watched the scars he knew about but had never seen, like the one on her thigh from Gordon's stab and the one on her throat from her suicide attempt. Then he noticed some he didn't know about. A small mark on her left shoulder and a thin white scar under her right knee.
But what he spotted for the first time, was a tattoo on her right wrist. In a black old fashion letters was written the name of their unborn daughter, Charlotte. He stared at it a moment, then looked back at Alexandra, realizing she was looking intensely at him. She seemed concerned about what he was seeing, hoping he would be pleased and not disgusted. She didn't seem confident and Lucas had the feeling she needed to be reassured, she needed to know he found her as beautiful as before, even prettier and sexier than before.
"You're beautiful," he whispered to her in a longing tone. "You're perfect." She felt the corners of her lips kicking up at his statement, bringing him to smile too. He leaned back to her and kissed her passionately.
Their kiss became more intense, both releasing all the tension they had kept in themselves all this time, giving way to the burning desire they felt for each other. It was like their first time and at the same time they knew perfectly what to do. Their bodies remembered each other perfectly, filling the gap they had created the day they've been separated, like they were finally complete.
Lucas made love to Alexandra like he never had before. Never. It was tender, passionate, intense. It was not sex, it was love. True love.
After their intense reunion, Lucas and Alexandra stayed in bed. Alexandra was lying on her stomach while Lucas' fingers were running along her naked back.
"I love it," he smiled.
"You love my tattoo only because it's the key for your calculations," she teased.
"No. I love it because it's sexy on you," he replied, kissing her back, her neck, her shoulders. "And because it's the key for my calculations," he chuckled lightly.
"I'm a key," she mumbled to herself.
"You're the key," she heard him say to her ear.
His statement made her froze in an instant. Her brain was suddenly overwhelmed by dark thoughts. Thoughts from her past that reminded her of why she had those calculations engraved in her skin. Her body tensed and all of a sudden, it became hard to breathe. What was she doing in Lucas' arms? Honestly? She was going to die, there was no cure for her disease, she should be away, far away from him. They would both suffer if they stayed together. Why was she hurting him on purpose? It was so selfish of her that it almost made her sick.
When Lucas had told her he loved her, she had just lost it. She had known she may have felt differently when all of her emotions would have settled down, but she still had kissed him back and then… Then the minute after he was making love to her. It was her fault. She was giving him hope where there was none.
She needed to stay away from him. She had to be stronger than that. She pressed her lips in frustration and sat up. She grabbed her panties and put them on. Lucas propped himself up on one elbow as she stood.
"Where are you going?" He asked, confused. Alexandra looked at him awkwardly with a guilty gaze.
"Bathroom. I'm coming back in ten," she replied with a small smile.
"Come back here," he said gently, yet seriously.
"I'm coming back…"
"No, you won't. I can see it. Come here," he commanded her.
"Give me a sec," she pleaded him. How could he know what she was going to do whereas she didn't even know herself? Lucas exhaled loudly and stood up. He walked to her and stopped inches from her face.
"Do I look stupid?" He asked, half serious, half joking.
"No…"
"Then why are you acting like I am?"
"I'm not…" She denied.
"Go back to bed," he said firmly. Lucas knew she was up to something the moment he had felt her muscles tense against him. He was certain it had nothing to do with her illness. It was something else, something linked to her state of mind.
"I…"
"Now." She sighed but obediently walked back to the bed and slid under the sheets. She knew there was no point arguing. "And don't pout!" She forced a smile and he grinned in response.
"Happy?"
"Euphoric," he smirked when he joined her in the bed. He laid down next to her and she took the same place she had before, lying on her stomach.
"Alex?"
"Hmm…"
"We are together, aren't we?" He inquired.
"Is it what you want?" She replied carefully, her face hidden in the cushion.
"You know the answer. The real question is; do you want it?"
He wanted it to be her decision, he wanted her to say she wanted him to stay. He had clearly expressed what he wanted earlier, now it was her turn. He had to be patient, even if he wanted to reach for her and bring her back into his arms.
She turned to face him and looked right into those beautiful green eyes she had missed so much. She wrapped his chest with her arms and smiled sadly as she felt his arms wrapping her almost immediately.
"Yes, I do," she whispered, her throat tight as she heard herself lie. It was not really a lie, but it felt like it. She wished they could be together again. But the difference between a wish and reality was that she was going to die alone anyway, leaving him depressed. She closed her eyes and made the most of this moment. No one's else arms had ever made her feel this safe in her whole life. Lucas was the only one to whom she could give herself completely to.
"Will you be there when I wake up?" He asked, worried.
"Where else could I be?"
"I don't know… Away from me," he said, sadness filling his voice. She looked up at him. He looked like a scared child who needed to be reassured.
"I'm not going anywhere Lucas. I will stay with you," she affirmed.
"You will stay with me," he murmured.
"We stay together. No matter what," she confirmed. Alexandra wanted to believe what she was saying. She really wanted to. She wanted Lucas to hear what he needed to hear, to comfort him. She wanted him to feel better, to be stronger.
"No matter what," he stated, feeling strong again. She was back in his life, he was back in her heart. Nothing would separate them again, ever. Not even that disease that was growing up inside her. He would find a solution, he would heal her. He would not let her fall twice. This time, he would not abandon her.
Alexandra still didn't know how Lucas was doing it. How he was able to be so gentle with her, still so passionate, after everything they've been through. How could he awake feelings inside of her she had never felt before, that she had even doubted she was able to experience. The only reason was that she trusted him. She was safe with him. Like that night spent in The Eyes, her mind seemed to slow down her quick pace and eventually let her fall asleep.
Lucas loved Alexandra, and even if there was a lot of hurt that couldn't just be washed away in one night, and even if there was also a lot of uncertainty in their immediate future, she was back into his life and this time, he would not let her go. Lucas clutched her tighter, like he was clinging to life. He pressed his lips one last time on the top of her head and tightened his embrace, before joining her into sleep, wishing he could freeze this moment for ever.
Feel the music, feel the story
Alex's part
"When the days are cold and the cards all fold, and the saints we see are all made of gold. When your dreams all fail, and the ones we hail are the worst of all, and the blood's run stale. I want to hide the truth, I want to shelter you. But with the beast inside there's nowhere we can hide. No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed. This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come. When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. Don't get too close, it's dark inside. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. When the curtain's call is the last of all. When the lights fade out all the sinners crawl. So they dug your grave, and the masquerade will come calling out at the mess you made. Don't want to let you down, but I am hell bound. Though this is all for you, don't want to hide the truth. […] They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate. It's woven in my soul, I need to let you go. Your eyes, they shine so bright, I want to save their light. I can't escape this now, unless you show me how." Demons - Imagine Dragons
Lucas' part
"I feel it every day it's all the same. It brings me down but I'm the one to blame. I've tried everything to get away. So here I go again. Chasing you down again. Why do I do this? Over and over, over and over, I fall for you. Over and over, over and over, I try not to. It feels like everyday stays the same. It's dragging me down and I can't pull away. So here I go again. Chasing you down again. Why do I do this? Over and over, over and over, I fall for you. Over and over, over and over, I try not to. Over and over, over and over, you make me fall for you. Over and over, over and over, you don't even try. So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head. I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead. I know what's best for me, but I want you instead. I'll keep on wasting all my time." Over and over - Three Days Grace
