DISCLAIMER: Penguins of Madagascar and all original storyline characters are the property of Nickelodeon and the respective creative talents of the show. The creation of this fan fiction is for enjoyment purposes only and no money is being made. All characters of my own creation remain my property and may not be copied or used without permission.

Once More unto the Breech

Chapter 2

By

Wildgoose

(It is early in the morning within Steve's apartment; he has awoken maybe an hour before and has been preparing for a meeting with department heads of Antarctic command. He is dressed in Marine Corps uniform as he tends to a few odds and ends with Kitsune before leaving.)

Steve: (Weaving about the sleeping bodies of animals on the living room floor) This place just seems to get smaller and smaller every time I come through here, I swear Kitsune.

Kitsune: (makes a quirky expression with her head and then sighs loudly) (Gestures) We'll need to find a bigger place before long. The kids are getting too big to be sleeping in our room with us.

Steve: Keiko is getting too big you mean, …Tatsu hasn't grown out of her crib yet.

Kitsune: (gestures) It won't be long, she's already trying to get her leg over the top of the railing. She'll need a toddler bed soon enough. (Steve sighs and nods. Kitsune then points to the young penguin dressed in transformers® pajamas with footies sleeping on the couch.) He's already started speaking, how big is he going to get again?

Steve: Back where he's from his kind ranged between five and six feet, considering that Rico is his dad however you might be able to shave that down a little. (Shakes his head) Life just loves to keep throwing me curve balls.

Kitsune: (gestures) Sooner or later you're going to have to start hitting them back you know. (Steve smiles and then offers a kiss on the cheek; Kitsune reciprocates with a light bow) Sometime you'll have to take the rest of us to see the capitol; I've only ever seen Philadelphia, New York, and Honolulu in this country.

Steve: Yea well, if the government ever decides to figure out their mess of a checkbook open back up for business then we might just do that. Until then I think the national monuments are all closed. (Shakes his head) None of it makes any sense; they never stick to their budget anyway so say nothing about paying attention to it. (Kitsune shrugs as Steve heads out for a long drive to Washington D.C.)

(The scene changes to outside of the zoo walls around about the same time in the morning. A NY city bus pulls up alongside of the curb adjacent to the zoo to pick up passengers on their way to work and to drop off some of the daytime zoo employees who are just arriving to get started for the day. While passengers are being exchanged an access door pops open just before the rear wheel well revealing a very tired and dirty Yoshi who hops out while lugging a crystalesque looking lamp, then as discretely as possible makes her way across the street to the zoo when the coast is clear using a "borrowed" skateboard to make carrying the lamp easier. Within a minute or so she has succeeded in disappearing into the zoo unnoticed. A short time later Astrid happens upon Yoshi wheeling her item to Jr.'s lab via the underground tunnel connecting the otter and penguin habitats.)

Astrid: Whoa! What happened to you, did you take a mud bath or something? (Comes closer and sniffs) Eww, ..you smell like something Rico coughed up!

Yoshi: (Fatigued tone) It's been a long night Astrid, where's your boyfriend? I need to ask some questions.

Astrid: Shhh! You know my dad doesn't know about us yet.

Yoshi: He's my dad too you know, …and I wouldn't bet on that. I think my mom told him and she's making him keep his mouth shut and watch from a distance to see how things go.

Astrid: (Concerned) Are you sure?

Yoshi: No, ..but it would make sense. Dad has his funky quirks but he's not stupid. (Sighs) Anyway…

Astrid: Right, …he's in his quarters. (Pause as she gestures to the lamp) What's this thing supposed to be?

Yoshi: That would be what I need Jr. to tell me. (Looks Astrid up and down, then reaches over to smooth out some ruffled feathers with her paw) You know you guys should take it easy before you pop out an egg or something. (Astrid flusters and begins to check her feathers as Yoshi walks past)

Astrid: Nice skateboard by the way, can I try it sometime? (Yoshi gestures with a paw wave as she continues walking. Before long Yoshi arrives In Jr.'s lab to see him reviewing data that he'd obtained from Ming. She gives the skateboard a light shove with her foot so that it rolls gently until it bumps the back of Jr.'s chair getting his attention.)

Jr.: (Surprised) What the…!? (Turns to see Yoshi) Oh hey, …I wasn't expecting you. (He minimizes the screen on the laptop he was using.)

Yoshi: Yea, ..it's one of the perks of just dropping by. (Pause as she looks at Jr.'s laptop) Cool toy, where did you pilfer THAT thing from?

Jr.: Oh this? (Pause) I didn't actually, ..the zookeeper got it for me to help me out with my schoolwork. That way I don't have to keep sneaking into the main office to use theirs and he set up a Wi-Fi router for me too.

Yoshi: Is it working? (Jr. nods) Good, see if you can find out what this thing is for me. (Pats the lamp)

Jr.: (Smirks/scoffs) Where did THIS piece of junk come from, have you been moonlighting at yard sales or something?

Yoshi: (tired expression) I inherited it from a dying purple alien guy, …I think it was a guy anyway.

Jr.: (Scoffs) Seriously though…

Yoshi: (Annoyed) Yes, …seriously. (Jr. continues to look at Yoshi in disbelief and they exchange a variety of facial expressions over the next minute or so before Jr.'s smirk fades away.)

Jr.: You're not kidding are you? (Yoshi shakes her head with fatigue) Did you take pictures for God's sake!? What did it look like, …was it one of those space squid that Skipper's always babbling about?

Yoshi: Sorry, …between the time I was whisked away in a tumbling ball of green energy to the three times I barfed on myself before meeting this guy, it somehow escaped me to stop and pick up a camera somewhere. It looked human but it had purple skin, purple blood, a glowing green uniform, (gestures to the ring on her digit) this gaudy piece of jewelry and a funky antique lamp that glowed and made me take some sort of oath.

Jr.: Oath?

Yoshi: Yea, apparently I've been chosen to inherit some kind of job. So the alien said anyway,…you know right before he up and croaked.

Jr.: (excited) Can we go and see it, …I want to see the alien!

Yoshi: I just traveled through the night moving from bus to bus to get back here okay, …I'm tired, smell like puke, apparently I smelled bad enough at the time to get hit on by a skunk while walking to the nearest bus station out in east bumble somewhere ( pause) I think he said his name was Pepi le Pew, and it's been a chore and a half trying to bring this big thing (gestures to the lamp) back here with me because it was this alien's dying request that I keep it.

Jr.: So this alien just happened to speak animal, how does THAT work?

Yoshi: How the heck should I know!? Could you please just see what you can find out about this thing? I'm going to go get cleaned up and grab some sleep, wake me if you find out something. (She starts to leave the room)

Jr.: (Excited tone) YOSHI!

Yoshi: (turns) What?

Jr.: It's green. (Yoshi frowns) Hey, you told me to let you know when I found out something. (Yoshi grumbles as she turns and leaves the room) Hey when you just drop a project on me like this you've got to expect a little payback. (Sighs as he gets up and starts getting some equipment together as he begins to talk to himself.) Inheriting a job, that's a new one. I can only imagine what that would be like during the reading of a will, …and to so and so I bequeath my job. I spent my entire life hating it and now it's your problem. Have fun with it. (Pretends to be the inheritor as he shakes his flipper at the ceiling) Curse you, you sadistic old b*****d! (Jr. chuckles to himself as he works)

(The scene changes to the theater room on the lowest level of the penguin HQ, Ming is practicing her techniques with a pair of tessen in isolation so that she will not feel self-conscious about her form. The hinges on the door creak slightly as Hannibal poked his head through.)

Hannibal: You're missing breakfast, what are you doing down here?

Ming: (stops to look at Hannibal) Thinking, …working on my techniques always helps.

Hannibal: So what's on your mind little sis?

Ming: My place.

Hannibal: (slightly amused) You're place?

Ming: Yea …you know, in the universe, in the world, in life, that sort of thing. (Pause) I'm just wondering what my role in everything is supposed to be. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out where exactly I'm supposed to fit in, …what my purpose is supposed to be.

Hannibal: Suddenly you're so worried, …why?

Ming: Everybody here seems to have a place for themselves. Jr. is going to school online, he's got bachelor's degrees already in physics and applied technology from some place called MIT, mom and dad are married and it's a question of time before Jr. and Astrid pair off. Yoshi's got talent for leadership; I'd be willing to bet she's got a future doing something somewhere and YOU. The zookeeper said that before Kowalski's device malfunctioned and sent he and dad's team to wherever it was,… Margot had been dead for a year but here the two of you are now healthy, happy, and you've got a pup.

Hannibal: (grumbles) Yea, I don't like to dwell on that first part very much. If he hadn't had the memory on his phone loaded with pictures from that other place I don't think I ever would have believed it. I couldn't believe how different she looked; the fact that Margot's alternate was a cop was pretty interesting though.

Ming: Anyway, my point is that even you have a role somewhere. Lately though instead of the warrior you seem to be more of a commuting parent.

Hannibal: (smirks) I see my family any way I can Ming. (Pause) You didn't mention Loki, …probably because he doesn't have much of a direction in life. He just thinks everything is fun and games.

Ming: (sighs) I don't think so, like you I think he's waiting for that one thing to define his role.

Hannibal: (Scoffs) What makes you think THAT, …can you tell the future or something?

Ming: (sighs) No, …that's a talent I definitely do not have. It's just a feeling I get from him, I think his lot in life lies away from humanity somewhere.

Hannibal: (bursts out laughing) Loki wouldn't last two seconds outside of the zoo on his own much less in the wild. (Laughs a little bit more until he's had his fill) So anyway,… getting back to you. (Ming shrugs) Well tell you what, I'll work with you for a bit while you clear your head but then we're going to get some breakfast. I don't know about you but I'm hungry. (Hannibal moves into position and readies himself by taking a stance; Ming studies him for a moment before conceding by stowing her tessen away on her person somewhere and then taking a stance herself. After a moment Hannibal initiates with a few simple punches and a high round kick all of which Ming is able to block with relative ease but does not counter. Instead she waits for his next move.) Are you going to counter or what?

Ming: Do I have to?

Hannibal: Well, that's kind of how this works Ming. (Pause) This isn't a test; just give me what you've got. You said you've been thinking, I know this always helps me to clear MY head.

Ming: Can I ask you a question?

Hannibal: (sighs with an eye roll) Alright, …but you have to counter first. Just one shot then you can talk, …whatever your best is then hit me with it.

Ming: (reluctant) Okay, …but don't judge me I'm still working on this with Mrs. Kitsune. (Pause as Ming bows her head and clasps her paws in front of her chest as if in prayer.)

Hannibal: Um…I thought you were going to counter not meditate. (Ming doesn't respond but instead opens her eyes quickly and snaps into what appears to be a set of tightly controlled tie chi maneuvers as if she's summoning her energies then jumps to a very peculiar stance as if ready to pounce. From Hannibal's point of view Ming appears to slide across the floor so fast that he sees mirror images of her trailing behind just before he is struck with a high side kick to the chest which sends him through the air into the wall behind him ten feet away. Hannibal lay dazed on the floor for a moment before groaning as he climbed to his feet with unsure balance.) What…the…heck..was..THAT!

Ming: (apologetic tone) Shadow kick, …I didn't hurt you did I?

Hannibal: Just my pride, I'll live. (Surprise) Sensei never taught me that one.

Ming: She says that every student should learn a skill set unique to their own talents and disposition. Apparently my talents are unique from yours.

Hannibal: I guess SO; you actually got through my defenses. So if you can do something like that, then what's with the defensive stuff all the time?

Ming: I'm not a fighter like you. (Pause) So can I ask my question now?

Hannibal: You've certainly earned it, proceed.

Ming: Do you believe in life on other worlds?

Hannibal: (surprised at the subject) Uh, …well I believe in life after death. Is that what you were getting at or were you hinting at those alien space squid that dad is always ranting about?

Ming: Not space squid, …something else. (Pause as she tries to choose her words carefully) Have you ever …had a dream… where it was if you were looking through the eyes of someone else, feeling what they felt, hearing what they said…

Hannibal: (bemused) No, …I can't say that I've had that one. Have you?

Ming; Sort of, …that's why I was wondering about everybody else. In this…dream, Yoshi was going to do something important. …And it made me wonder what was in store for the rest of us.

Hannibal: (smirks trying not to laugh) …And there was an alien involved?

Ming: (Cautious) Yea, …what would you make of that?

Hannibal: I would say…that whatever you've been eating before you go to bed at night you should probably cut it out. I think you just had a weird dream, nothing more.

Ming: (disappointed) Oh…

Hannibal: Don't feel bad; weird things happen to ALL of us.

Ming: You too huh?

Hannibal: Me? Oh, …well no …but I'm still young. Don't worry, someday I might do something worth laughing about.

Ming: (frowns a little) Mr. perfect so far huh? You look proud of it.

Hannibal: (smirks in jest) You know me, I don't like to toot my own horn. (Pause) Now let's go get some breakfast. (Hannibal turns to walk towards the open door and a loud thunk is heard as he tries to walk through it followed by Hannibal landing on his back and clutching his face.) What the HECK! (He pulls his paws away from his face to see that he had just walked into a solid wall and the door was actually ten feet to his left.)

Ming: (As Hannibal gets up trying to hold onto his pride.) Don't worry Hannibal, weird things happen to us all remember?

Hannibal: (Rubs his nose a little more) Yea, yea, …you act like you planned that or something. Let's just go get breakfast, I'm hungry.

Ming: (Smirks after Hannibal leaves) Or something, just be glad I've figured out how to do something other than fire. (She walks out of the room to follow Hannibal)

(The scene changes to Washington D.C inside of the pentagon later in the day, after passing through all of the security checkpoints Steve is being escorted by a M.A to a conference room where he is supposed to meet with some department heads in Antarctic Command. Once inside the room is found to be vacant with exception to a conference table and a number of chairs around it. Steve is instructed to have a seat before the M.A. withdraws from the room. A short time later a knock is heard at the door just before it opens to reveal Tom and an unfamiliar Brigadier General. As the two enter the Room Steve stands and offers the traditional salute before all have a seat at the table. Once seated the other two officers begins to remove a number of files from brief cases placing the files on the table.)

Tom: Captain Rothermal, first off congratulations on your promotion two months ago. The last time we spoke you were still a lieutenant.

Steve: It was a surprise to be sure Major, I wasn't expecting it.

Tom: (gestures to the general) This is brigadier general Faust, he would like to review some of your latest mission reports with you.

Steve: (Surprised) This is a first, nobody's ever seen a need to review my reports with me. I always make it a point to include every detail I can in those things.

Gen. Faust: To be specific Capt. Rothermal, I would only like to review one report with you. That being your most recent (opens a file) in which you reported that you and your penguin unit were transported to a parallel earth as a result of an experimental prototype device that malfunctioned.

Steve: (Leans back in his chair and groans as he looks up at the sealing.) Oh God, can't anybody just pretend that whole ordeal never happened?

Tom: Unfortunately we're going to have to disappoint you; the general would like more detailed information from you.

Gen. Faust: (Clears his throat) From what I've read in the report let me just sum up, this device took you to a parallel earth where humans didn't exist and animal kind had evolved to fill humanity's roll. What would have been North and South America as well as Antarctica there called the United Provinces of Antarctica was occupied by giant penguins of varying types as well as smaller groups of animal immigrants from elsewhere in the world. Your group was captured and detained by law enforcement, you attempted escape allowing yourself to be stunned unconscious so that the penguins could get away. While unconscious you were taken to a medical facility to be studied because human kind had never been seen before where you were found to be immune to a virus that had sterilized the male population of not only penguins but also otters so they stole tissue, blood, and genetic samples from you for further analysis. You later escaped and were sheltered by an otter detective who had earlier tried to question you; she was later interpreted to be an alternate reality version of an otter in this world by the name of Margot. At the same time your unit sought refuge with a giant penguin operating an electronics outlet later interpreted to be an alternate of a Puffin in this world named Heidi. While attempting to get your bearings it was discovered that a Dolphin evil genius by the name of Dr. Blowhole had somehow appeared in this same alternate earth as early as a year to a year and a half before you and your unit and established himself as the head of state after which you and your unit removed him by force. How have I done so far?

Steve: You've clearly read the report, what more could you possibly need?

Gen. Faust: You mentioned in the report that the society there was largely without crime of any sort yet there was clearly a criminal element working with Dr. Blowhole that allowed him to gain power.

Steve: Yes sir, the criminal element by their standards did exist but it remained almost exclusively in the shadows keeping them off the public radar. For the most part it was composed of the average teenager who simply wanted to listen to music of their choice without seeking government sanction and gather socially as they saw fit while listening to it. These gatherings took place in secret venues known only to the teens and the location changed every time. Musical forms had to be sanctioned by the government in order to be distributed to the public. On the other side of that there was a deeper segment of that element that referred to themselves as the underground. They were like the kids but more willing to go to lengths to promote a change in their favor once Blowhole came to town. He instructed these people on how to assassinate Chancellor Andre and make it look like natural causes. Such a thing was unheard of in that society so nobody investigated beyond the obvious when an autopsy was performed. Blowhole wiggled his way into becoming Andre's successor and brought some of the darkest members of the underground into his fold as secret service members. (The general is seen making notations on the report and when finished looks up at Steve)

Gen. Faust: You mentioned in the report that these secret service members you mentioned previously attempted to turn you, this detective Margot, and a penguin physician/geneticist named Dr. Yoshi against each other. How and why? (Steve says nothing for a moment) Captain?

Steve: (looks uncomfortable) With all due respect general, I would really, really,…really,….REALLY prefer not to discuss that at all…ever.

Gen. Faust: I thought that might be the case since you only described the outcome of their attempt as being unsuccessful but highly personal. I'm afraid I'm going to need the details before this file can be closed out. (Steve doesn't answer for a moment) That's an order Captain.

Steve: (reluctant) Yes sir, Det. Margot, myself, and Dr. Yoshi were working on finding a link between Blowhole and the virus that had sterilized the male population of otters and penguins since it fit his M.O in this world of wanting to destroy my unit and their aids most of all before seeking revenge on humanity. Blowhole learned of this and gave instructions to two of his closest cohorts in the secret service, by the names of Schicklegruber and Merlin, to stop us using creative means so as not to raise questions by others, I.E. without killing us. They discovered that Det. Margot embarked the day before on a once a year drinking binge in the interest of forgetting her husband who left her, it was off duty but the next day we borrowed her car to go to the capitol to try and confront Blowhole hoping he would make a mistake and start an evil villain monologue about his plans. Det. Margot was sober at the time we arrived albeit hung over; she accompanied us in protest because it was against department protocol for anyone to be in her police vehicle without her. She was following the rules there but when we left to gain entry to the Chancellors mansion, I by legitimate means and my unit by covert, she was directed to keep the car running in case we needed a rapid egress. She complied under protest that it was illegal for her to do so, apparently being hung over with keys in the ignition was the same there as a DWI. She was discovered and arrested, then later suspended with intent to dismiss leaving her in shame because like everything else so far such a crime was almost unheard of. Later the two agents confronted Dr. Yoshi in her lab after hours and forced her to lure Det. Margot there after which she was subdued by the agents and again was forced to use the genetic sample stolen from myself against her after which she was deposited in her home with no idea what had happened until Dr. Yoshi tried to explain through tears. In justifiable anger Det. Margot turned against Dr. Yoshi and given that the material used against her was from me she lashed out at me also in anger and evicted me from her home where I had been sheltered. Now no one was working against Blowhole and the research that Dr. Yoshi had conducted thus far was destroyed by the agents. Det. Margot couldn't go to the police even though she'd gone to see her PCP, whatever means Dr. Yoshi was made to use left no physical trace of violation. The Dr. being familiar with Det. Margot for years knew that the date for her annual binge had recently passed and suggested that she likely simply didn't remember an encounter she had that night. Being in shame from her dept. she knew she would get a similar response from them if she sought help. Dr. Yoshi could not go to the authorities given that that society was so peaceful there was no need for security surveillance on anything so she would only be incriminating herself without evidence to prove that she had been forced. Myself I was now without shelter, or transportation, and having very limited funds on hand. Nobody knew me and thus I had no credibility to make accusations of a horrid and unheard of nature.

Gen: Faust: Excuse me; I thought you said that the agent's did NOT succeed.

Steve: In the long run they didn't, one of the agents by the name of Merlin turned coat as a result of where the other agent was attempting to do afterward. He made a signed confession to Det. Margot exonerating Dr. Yoshi which later brought an apology towards me as I was as victimized as she was. Fortunately after we were reconciled Dr. Yoshi was able to recall where she'd left off in her work and was able to discover the link we were looking for. The sterility virus was a genetically modified version of the Mumps virus which piggybacked with Blowhole and was later used as a means to attempt the eradication of the penguin and otter species.

Gen. Faust: How was the penguin doctor forced?

Steve: Her aging and sickly father was abducted and Dr. Yoshi was made aware that if she did not comply her father would be left in the northern polar wastelands to die.

Tom: But if he was a penguin…

Steve: Through evolution penguins were no longer used to the cold. Penguin kind had migrated north over thousands of years and Antarctica had been converted into warm rich farmlands through technological means centuries before we has arrived there.

Gen Faust: …And here comes the uncomfortable part, how was the material stolen from you used against the detective?

Steve: (sighs) Dr. Yoshi was forced to genetically engineer it making it compatible with the otter species of that world. Don't ask me for specifics I only found out later that it had something to do with making my genome entirely recessive to hers. This had the additional effect of not only turning us against one another but humiliating Det. Margot because without proof of crimes committed against her it was illegal to terminate. (Both the General and Tom stare at Steve blankly for a moment)

Gen Faust: So…you have a…

Steve: (stern) No… I don't! (Pause) We didn't have to remove Blowhole because he himself was assassinated by Schicklegrueber who electrocuted Blowhole in his own swimming pool and made it look like equipment malfunction, then tried to assume the role of chancellor himself. He tried to take Blowhole's plans a step further by planning to allow only those who subscribed to his physical and mental ideals to procreate through genetic recombination which would bypass the virus.

Gen Faust: Test tube babies?

Steve: Yes sir, we managed to distribute all of our accumulated evidence to the media before moving on him so that it could be understood who was attempting to usurp the office. We then removed him.

Gem Faust: (looks at the report) Yes, …by shooting him on live television while he was addressing the nation about Blowhole's passing.

Steve: We couldn't afford to allow him the opportunity to deceive the public any further.

Gen. Faust: You then seated yourself as Chancellor. In hindsight don't you find that just a little disturbing?

Steve: I assure you it was not my first choice and in my defense sir, they had no second in command or any clue who was qualified to succeed. The structure of their government was a joke and a power vacuum needed to be avoided to prevent chaos. While still on live broadcast I sought the approval of those in the office, staff and secret service alike and asked them to represent the people as best they could. I made my intentions clear that I would only sit in office for seven days and that by noon on the eighth day if I had not vacated then they were authorized to remove me by any means necessary. After which an appointed successor would serve temporary duty for four years to allow modifications to be made to the government to transition to a properly structured democracy whereby elections would be held to select the next chancellor. After a vote amongst those representatives I assumed the temporary role.

Tom: Do you always keep a digital copy of the US constitution in your phone?

Steve: It serves as a reminder of what I'm putting my life on the line for day in and day out. (Pause) Anyway, after the week was up Det. Margot was appointed as the next interim chancellor. We left for home, the end.

Tom: Not quite, there's documented proof that this Det. Margot came to our world for a short time. (He reaches over and pulls out a newspaper clipping with a picture showing Steve and Det. Margot standing amidst two NY police officers.)

Steve: (looks down for a moment) Ah… (Pause) Before we took down Schicklegreuber, we were going to come back here to get equipment and maybe reinforcements. Schicklegreuber somehow found out about this and because Blowhole had mentioned to him before that us leaving would be bad "because humans don't go away, they bring back more", he abducted Det. Margot's daughter Sarah and threatened to do the same thing that had been done to Dr. Yoshi's father if Margot didn't stop us. So she pursued us as we were departing and was pulled into our world with us but through miscalculation we had arrived a year in the past. Not understanding why she'd turned on us all of a sudden we fled a short distance during which time Det. Margot encountered her alternate as she got out of my truck and dodged across the street to the zoo to visit Hannibal despite my instructions not to cross without me. The me from the past that is.

Tom: Oh of course…

Steve: Margot in her eagerness to visit Hannibal neglected to look before crossing and was about to be plowed by a taxi. I imagine she acted on instinct because Det. Margot redirected from her pursuit and raced across the street grabbing Margot out of the way very narrowly in the nick of time and then after scolding a confused otter she continued her pursuit until the next block where she'd lost us. Once she came to a stop people began to notice her along with a pair of patrolmen who began to question her appearance. Having a conscience I didn't want the same thing that happened to me repeat itself so I alone came out of the shadows where I was hiding and approached the group with a ruse that she was actually my sister who suffered from a rare genetic disorder called Hypertrichosis. (Both the General and Tom look confused for a moment) It's also been termed as werewolf syndrome; it causes massively excessive hair growth all over the body giving an animal like appearance.

Gen. Faust: …And the people believed that?

Steve: I spun a big guilt trip on them about how much therapy she'd gone through just to get her to feel comfortable with coming out in public and how badly they were setting her back. The officers gave us a hard time at first but once one of them looked it up people began to accept it.

Tom: Didn't she have a tail being an otter and all?

Steve: By coincidence she happened to have it tucked under her dress around her leg, I'm thinking it was probably a nervous thing like somebody biting their nails or something. Some people actually congratulated Det. Margot for having the courage to overcome her "disorder". A couple treated us to lunch after which we managed to figure out why my unit and I were being chased. I have to admit that all things considered she played along extraordinarily well. Kowalski was later able to make the appropriate corrections to his device, we got what we needed and returned to the other earth to take care of business.

Gen Faust: (Flips through the report a little) This would be where you account for the loss of equipment I hope.

Steve: Long story short, we sought out an ally we'd made when we confronted Blowhole before and used the desires for unrestricted music by the youth culture as a distraction.

Gen Faust: Ally? (Flips through the report and the pictures that had been printed from digital memory regarding each person that had been encountered.) That would be, …Minister Amaterasu of the Far East Confederacy. (Pause) She's a fox.

Steve: Um…well to be honest although they were all very humanoid I'm not used to looking at animals like that so I couldn't say. (The general stares at Steve for a moment and turns the picture to face him) Oh you mean the species…. (The general rolls his eyes)

Gen Faust: You were saying?

Steve: Margot's daughter had told me about the location of the next musical gathering so we used that to spread word about a form of protest to be held across from the chancellor's mansion which we called the freedom of expression festival. That's where Amaterasu came in, she sponsored the event for us, had her people stand watch for when the authorities showed up and gave instructions that if they tried to cross their lines the confederates where to embrace their instincts and "eat them".

Tom: You held a concert as a distraction?

Steve: Being across from the mansion it drew off some of the security forces making it easier for us to get in.

Tom: So how were the mini Humvee's destroyed?

Steve: Blowhole had originally anticipated the penguins coming after him so he erected a gauntlet of booby traps within the mansion. Schicklegeuber activated them at the first sign of trouble so the only way to circumvent them was to drive through the walls one after the other until we drove into the triangle office. (Both officers are about to ask) Hey, we've got an oval they have a triangle. It's not that big a deal, the rest I've already told you. (Pause) Any more questions?

Tom: How do you know you don't… (He is cut off)

Steve: While in office I made sure that Agent Merlin's confession was presented as evidence so that the appropriate medical intervention could be made. Det. Margot was relieved to say the least.

Tom: …But you don't know for a fact if she went through with it.

Steve: Given the circumstances I can't imagine why she wouldn't.

Tom: I'm just saying…

Gen Faust: (Makes a number of notations within the file and then closes it) Regardless, …I think that's the last of my questions. The file is completed, …and closed. (He looks over at Tom)

Tom: (Clears his throat) Okay then, …on to the next order of business.

Steve: (glances back and forth between them) Okay the spidey sense is tingling, …what's the next order of business?

Gen. Faust: The department of defense has decided that Antarctic command has fulfilled its purpose in neutralizing animal threats to America's interests and in light of budgetary difficulties is dissolving the command and reassigning the personnel. (Steve's jaw drops)

Steve: Sir?! (Pause in disbelief) What about the animals?!

Tom: They will be returned to civilian life and be remanded to the care of their zoological institutions.

Steve: Not all of the animals reside in zoo's sir!

Tom: Blue squadron will be remanded to the care of sea world in Florida until arrangements can be made to return them to Australia to be with their own kind. Since that's where they were found it seems only right to send them home to be with their own kind.

Steve: No that's not right, they've evolved since then! They're a team now and they like it that way.

Gen. Faust: The decision came from above me I'm afraid so my hands are tied on the matter.

Steve: (slumps back into his chair) May I ask what my next assignment will be?

Gen Faust: You're aware you underwent your annual evaluations a few months ago? (Steve nods) It's been deemed that given your medical and psychological history it would not be in anyone's best interest to place you in a conventional field position again.

Steve: (Blown away) …What?

Tom: You've been through more than most people Steve. You suffer from PTSD, you've befriended animals, married a penguin and had children, travelled to and from an alternate reality by means of an unproven piece of technology, were assaulted and may or may not have a hybrid offspring of some sort, appointed yourself head of state in the aforementioned reality after deposing a usurping dictator, and after medical diagnostic following your return your body was found to be saturated with tachyons.

Steve: No doubt a residual from a medical intervention I had while over there, Dr. Yoshi discovered that I had pancreatic cancer and resolved the matter using a piece of technology. All forms of cancer are easily curable in that reality.

Gen Faust: That would be the information contained on the data stick you brought back then? (Steve nods)

Steve: It was a complete schematic of the technology as well as detailed procedures for curing all forms of cancer.

Gen. Faust: We couldn't access any of it. (Steve stares) You're aware that our technology operates using ones and zeros? (Steve nods) Well theirs operates using quantum mechanics. We don't have anything like that in use, there's technology like that still in R&D but its years from being implemented. (Steve tilts his head back and groans)

Steve: So what then, a desk job?

Gen Faust: Given your exemplary record of service that would be like sending you to hell. I know, …I've been there. (Pause) The promotion you received was to insure that you would receive a more fitting retirement package. (Steve stares in disbelief) Under the circumstances you are being granted an early retirement through medical discharge effective the beginning of November. You'll be expected to turn in your service piece at that time. (The two officers stand up) That concludes this meeting, you are dismissed Captain. (Steve slowly rises and salutes before the officers turn and leave the room.)

Comments and suggestions are always welcome.

Hypertrichosis: Hypertrichosis, sometimes called "werewolf syndrome" is a very rare condition, with fewer than 100 cases documented worldwide. It is a genetic mutation responsible for a disorder that causes people to sprout thick hair on their faces and bodies causing it to resemble fur.