DISCLAIMER: Penguins of Madagascar and all original storyline characters are the property of Nickelodeon and the respective creative talents of the show. The creation of this fan fiction is for enjoyment purposes only and no money is being made. All characters of my own creation remain my property and may not be copied or used without permission.

Once More unto the Breech

Chapter 3

By

Wildgoose

(Sunlight reflects off of passing cars outside of the apartment building as Steve walks I through the double set of glass doors while toting the hat of his marine corps service uniform under one arm, a scowl is worn on his face as he lets loose with a heavy grumbling sigh. His boots report each step as he paces across the linoleum to the elevators when as he pushes the button and the doors swing open a familiar voice catches his attention. He turns to see the building superintendent approaching to catch him before entering the elevator.)

Superintendent: Mr. Rothermal, I'm glad I caught you. Do you have a few minutes?

Steve: (deep slow breath) No, not really. You've caught me at a bad time I'm afraid.

Superintendent: I'm sorry to hear that but unfortunately I have to insist, …it's rather important. (Gestures off to the side) This way to my office please. (He leads the way with a reluctant Steve behind him. Once inside the office he closes the door and takes a seat behind his desk with Steve taking a seat on the other side.) Congratulations of the promotion by the way, I don't see you that often so I only just noticed the bars. (Steve nods in response) I'm sorry to have to call you in here; you look like you've had a bad day.

Steve: That's one way to put it, …another is that a couple of people have been added to my crap list.

Superintendent: (Smirks) I'm not one of them am I? (Steve doesn't respond which unnerves him slightly) I'm afraid I need to address a violation of one of the buildings ordinances. That being the one disallowing pets.

Steve: (Dry) I have no pets.

Superintendent: (Pauses to choose his words) Look, …I'm aware that you're a zoo keeper on the side and are trained to care for exotic animals. (Pause) I also know that you're not a reservist that just serves a couple of weekends a month which is why I've often dismissed some of the things that I've seen over the years as you bringing work home with you that you're not supposed to tell me about. I've been able to do this because none of the other tenants have ever brought anything to my attention, I think that this largely has to do with the fact that your wife is the most intimidating person I've ever encountered and everybody is afraid to cross her. (Pause) Until recently anyway, …I received a complaint this week from one of the other tenants on your floor that you are housing animals in your apartment. (Sighs) Having known you as one of my best tenants for over ten years I was prepared to defend you after speaking with your wife only when I got off the elevator and approached your door a penguin wearing pajamas toddled out the door chasing after a ball. Toddled Mr. Rothermal not waddled, this penguin was about the size of a three year old child and when it saw me it waved to me and actually said "hi" before running back into the apartment with laughter. (Pause) Now the last time I checked, the only penguins that grew that large required sub-zero temperatures to survive and definitely did NOT speak English. (Awkward silence as Steve offers no response) I'm not going to ask for an explanation, I know that strange things go on in the world every day and given that you're a military officer who moonlights as a zookeeper I'd bet real money that the only thing you'll tell me is that it's classified.

Steve: It IS classified but I know you can keep your mouth shut right? …RIGHT? (Pause as the superintendent nods) His name is Wight, named for a Scottish veterinarian. He's a highly evolved penguin that was part of a now defunct military research program, I've been charged with his care. (Pause) Now you've heard the phrase "I could tell you but then I'd have to shoot you"? (The superintendent smirks for a moment but that then fades as Steve stares him in the eye.)

Superintendent: (clears his throat nervously) I understand, …and if no one had filed a complaint I assure you I'd be happy to let the matter go. I'd even bring my kids over to play with the little guy so he could have friends, …but I have to address the complaint. Mums the word on what you just told me, but if I don't take care of this the complainant may try to go over my head costing me my job. (Pause) Because I actually saw "the animal", and given that I've been witness to his sentience I use the term loosely so please don't take offense, I'm required by law to give you notice that you are required to remove "the animal" from the building or face termination of your lease and possible eviction. Now I realize the sensitive and difficult nature of the situation so if you can keep Wight out of sight for the time being I will inform the tenant that the matter has been dealt with to keep any further problems from coming your way but unfortunately you're going to have to find other accommodations for the little guy. (Steve purses his lips for a moment before standing)

Steve: Well they say that things happen in three's, …now I just have to wait for the other shoe to drop.

Superintendent: Excuse me?

Steve: We have an understanding. (He turns to leave)

Superintendent: Listen I know you've seen combat and all but I don't have to worry that you're going to flip out or something and I'll find a landmine under my car seat will I? (Steve turns and smirks for an instant before leaving. Ten minutes later Steve enters his apartment to find Kitsune wearing her black kimono while kneeling in a meditation prose a short distance from the door in wait for Steve's return.)

Steve: (Sighs) Spare me the performed apology Kitsune, I already heard about what happened and it was bound to happen sooner or later so get up. Going forward though, I realize how much you honor the old traditions but a simple explanation and if warranted an "I'm sorry" is more than acceptable. God knows I say it enough and sometimes I don't even know why; I just know that whatever happened I was the one who was wrong.

Kitsune: (scowls and crosses her arms as she gets up) (gestures) That's NOT true!

Steve: I know, it just saves a world of aggravation to act that way until everything blows over and I can figure out exactly what happened.

Kitsune: (Gestures) Which you always begin with "what's wrong honey?" (Pause) Why do you always ask the same thing?

Steve: Because that phrase is a critically important weather gauge. When asked "what's wrong" the speed and manner in which a woman replies "nothing" is inversely proportional to the size and severity of the hell storm coming at the man. (Chuckles) A man needs to know when it's time to duck and cover. (The animals begins to emerge from around the room and greet Steve as Kitsune scowls slightly in the background) Now what exactly happened?

Heidi: (using the translator) He got away from me while Kitsune was taking out the garbage, I'm so sorry.

Kitsune: (Sighs loudly) The fault was mine, I left the door open.

Steve: Let it go, we couldn't keep the kid cooped up forever. …But now we have problems, you guys can't stay here any longer.

Margot: (borrows Heidi's translator) Where will we go?

Steve: Relax, nobodies tossing you out into the rain. We're ALL going, it's just a question of where. This place was too small for all of us anyway. (Sighs loudly) In the meantime I have an idea,….where's Keiko and Tatsu?

Kitsune: (Gestures) Ayame took them to the park.

Steve: (Disappointed tone) Huh…I guess he'll just have to go alone.(Raises his voice) Wight, uncle Steve is home! (After a moment the penguin toddles down the hall with glee and clutches Steve's knee in a hug) Have you ever had a snow cone Wight? (The penguin shakes his head) Well if anybody asks you're trying out your Halloween costume okay, you can do that for me right? (Wight nods enthusiastically as the others look on with complete surprise) Let's go buddy… Steve opens the door and allows Wight to toddle past in his pajamas.)

Kitsune: (Gestures with confusion) What's going on?

Steve: I'm shining on the neighbors by celebrating my retirement. (Kitsune's jaw drops in further confusion. Steve steps into the hall and gestures with a finger to his left and then to his right)

Steve: That's right neighbors, forget ALL of you! (Sighs like a weight has been lifted) You didn't hear me say that Wight, okay? (Wight just toddles down the hall) I didn't think so, …now let's go find out what flavor you want. (Mumbles) I convinced people that Det. Margot was a human with an obscure medical condition, …this should be a cake walk. (He follows after the penguin)

Heidi: (Flies over to close the door) (Translator) So what do we do now?

Kitsune: (Gestures) The superintendent would not have paid a visit if a complaint had not been made, (scowls) I will discover who blew the whistle on us.

(The scene changes to the lobby as Steve and Wight move past a small number of people who wear amused expressions as the two pass by. The Superintendent who sees them from his office clutches his sinuses in anticipation of the storm he presumes will come from the attention this will gain. Steve and Wight walk outside onto the sidewalk catching glances from passersby and approach the ice cream cart.)

Steve: Hey Brian, …do you have any snow cones left for us this season?

Brian: (Smirks at seeing Wight) I Always have something for you. (Pause as he looks at Wight) Just curious, is the circus in town?

Steve: (chuckles as he looks slightly to the left and right at some of the other building tenants who are patronizing the cart.) Hardly, (Looks at the reflection of the superintendent approaching from behind on the stainless steel cart counter) this is my nephew Wight. We took him to pick out to pick his Halloween costume while he's visiting and now he's attached to the thing. He wears it all the time, the only way I can get it away from him is to wait until he falls asleep but then he'll go looking for it again tomorrow. I'd bet money that he wears the thing out by Halloween. (Looks down at the penguin) Say hi to Brian, Wight. (He gestures with his hand)

Wight: (giggles a little and then waves speaking in toddler) Hi bwyn…

Steve: What can I say, he's working on it.

Brian: (Whistles slightly) That's a good costume, no wonder he loves it so much. (Pause) That's a REAL good costume, is that thing custom? (Steve nods)

Steve: I only get to see the kid once in a blue moon so I can't help but spoil him.

Brian: (Laughs) That's the best part of watching somebody else's kids, you get to send them home after you spoil the heck out of them. (Leans over the counter) So what flavor would you like Wight?

Wight: (Toddler speak) (wiggles left and right in thought) Um….FITH! (Brian looks at Steve)

Steve: Fish, …he's supposed to be a penguin so he's getting into the part. (Brian laughs)

Brian: Well I think I might have sold the last of my fish snow cones little guy. (Pause as he pulls a sample on a spoon out of the cart to show Wight) How about rainbow, …you have a little of every color with this one. (Wight claps his flippers and does a little happy dance) I think we have a winner. (Brian makes a small snow cone and hands it to Wight) Don't drop it now. (Steve retrieves his wallet) Don't worry about it, happy early Halloween little guy. (Steve and Wight step back from the cart as they receive glowing comments on Wight from the other tenants nearby)

Francine: Oh God, you're so adorable. Can I see who's in the costume little guy? (Wight covers his face with his flippers and turns away) Aww, now you're shy?

Steve: Like I said, he's attached to the thing.

Francine: (chuckles) You make sure you bring him by my door on Halloween, I'll have some goodies to give out this year.

Steve: Will do! (He guides Wight away from the cart and approaches the superintendent closer to the building.)

Superintendent: What happened to classified!?

Steve: It IS, …but I just saved you a bunch of headaches by getting those meddling busybodies off your back for the next two weeks. Now if anybody sees Wight they won't think twice about it, so now you owe me.

Superintendent: …And after Halloween?

Steve: Hopefully we'll be out of your thinning hair by then, that's the part where you redeem the favor. You're going to let me out of my lease without any hassle.

Superintendent: I don't control the billing department that's…

Steve: I know people high up in the DOD, it wouldn't take much to find somebody who has connections with the IRS and have them come down here and crawl up your butt with a microscope.

Superintendent: (Pauses in shock) I'm amazed you didn't pull that card earlier. I'll um…see what I can do.

Steve: It wouldn't have saved you the aggravation of dealing with complaints in the meantime and I didn't think of bringing Wight down here or moving until I got up to my apartment and blew off some steam. (Pause) …And to answer your question earlier, I would never put a land mine under your SUV. (Smirks) I'd call in an airstrike on the thing.

Superintendent: You've got that kind of clout?

Steve: You have NO idea. (Steve walks past him with Wight and into the building)

(The scene changes to two weeks later on Halloween, after the zoo has closed for the day and Steve has completed his rounds several of Kitsune's coworkers from the Evergreen Cineplex begin to show up at the zoo to begin preparations for the annual Halloween show Skipper and crew have put on for the past several years. Nicketti has shown up also to pick up Skipper's team as well as Hannibal and take them to a separate location where they will prepare for their part in the show. There are far more animals participating in the show than in past years which the group plans to explain away with the concept of animatronics through virtual R/C because many are too small to pretend that they are child actors in costumes.

Mike: (As he tries on the virtual head gear that connects via wire to a pair of control gloves) This is pretty cool, what is this stuff supposed to control?

Kowalski: (via a blue tooth style translator that he has attached to his head) That particular unit will allow the user to control the lighting and any effects that we've come up with thus far, the virtual heads up display that will appear in the monocle over each eye will allow for real time command and control utilizing the actuator gloves to manipulate the system as required. We simply need to synchronize the uplink before the show begins to ensure proper operation. We have a similar unit that will allow another user to control the music that is to accompany the show.

Mike: Virtual disk jockey!? Oh hey, I call dibs on THAT one!

Kowalski: (translator) (dry) Yes, …we thought that you might. Jr. actually has dibs on the special effects since he has specially designed them all.

Mike: Is Jr. the one who designed all of the virtual tech?

Kowalski: (Translator) (sighs) Yes, …but I'M the one who designed the real time animal to human translators. (Sighs) Anyway back to the virtual tech, the others will have similar units but their only real function will be to present the illusion that they're controlling (makes air quotes with his flippers) the animatronic animals. As far as I'm concerned they could be playing video games on the things, as long as they look like they're controllers.

Christine: (chimes in after picking up a unit) Sweet!

Skipper: (fits a translator to his head) Nice job on the translators, Kowalski. How did you figure out how to translate animal to human in real time?

Kowalski: Well I don't like to brag Skipper but it was as simple for me as coming up with a poly mutating algorithm that could translate quickly enough without crashing the processor.

Rico: (grunts) Come again?

Private: Sounds like Jr. came up with it to me.

Kowalski: (Annoyed) Not everything cool comes from Jr. you know, his old man hasn't lost his touch yet. Remember the space time transportation device, huh? That was pretty cool wasn't it?

Skipper: You mean the malfunctioning cell phone that nearly got us stranded in an alternate universe?

Kowalski: For the last time, we were never stranded! ….And if my device hadn't taken us there in the first place then Rico wouldn't have his precious trans-dimensional son now would he.

Rico: (grunts) I think we have to give him that one

Kowalski: Not to mention the fact that if I had never invented the device then Margot would never have been able to save herself from death allowing Hannibal to lead his happy little life with a little pup playing at his feet whenever the zookeeper is able to bring him and his mother over.

Private: Technically, Margot didn't exactly save herself so much as her alternate-self saved her inadvertently through an instinctive action.

Skipper: Let it go Private or the whiner baby is just going to keep it up all night long. (Pause) Okay Kowalski, you've had your share of cool inventions over the years with these translators being the latest example. Happy now?

Kowalski: I am NOT a whiner baby; I'm simply a parent genius who's trying to hold his edge against his genius son.

Private: Um not to be rude, …but isn't that like saying that your hands are in your pockets but you're not wearing any pants? (Everybody slowly turns to look at Private) What?

Skipper: Anywho,…where are we at with our choreographer?

Private: Julian is staying in line for now, …for him anyway. He's stopped trying to convince everyone to break format in the middle of the show and shake our booties like there's no tomorrow.

Skipper: Well that's a relief, how did we accomplish that by the way?

Kowalski: (sighs) We let him have a background part with the other animals, he'll get to shake his own booty just in the back where nobody can see him if he does step out of line.

Skipper: Let's hope he stays there but in case he doesn't, what's our contingency?

Kowalski: (smiles) I thought you'd never ask, follow me. (Kowalski leads the other penguins to the HQ where they then proceeded to his lab) Behold, the Animal Showboat Interdiction and Neutralization system.

Rico: (grunts) It looks like a miniature multiple MLRS.

Kowalski: Its small size is attributed to the fact that conventional propellants were able to be replaced with miniature repulsor technology.

Private: There's tiny writing on the frame of the device, I almost can't read it.

Skipper: Well don't keep us in suspense Private, what does it say?

Private: (trying to make out the words) S…T…A…R…K…

Kowalski: Okay, admittedly the original designs for the system were "borrowed" but were later modified by yours truly as well as Heidi to suit our purpose.

Skipper: And what purpose would that be?

Kowalski: Well there was always the concern that Julian would attempt to steal the show, you all know how he likes to be the center of attention,(everybody looks at each other and nods) so Heidi and I came up with the concept of remotely neutralizing Julian, or anyone else for that matter, without giving him the limelight as it were. (Pause) Rico you were right, this IS a miniature MLRS but with a few twists. Instead of an explosive payload inside the warhead there are a small number of micro tranquilizer darts that can either seek multiple independent targets or home in on a single designated target. With this in mind we secretly marked Julian with a subcutaneous implant about the size of a small pea, that way should it become necessary we can bring him down quickly without having to worry about targeting him. Without that little beacon it would take as much as ten seconds or more to lock onto him with the targeting sensors. As Heidi has declined to take part in the chorographical part of the show and since she helped design the system she will charged with operating it should it need to be used. Jr. will be giving her a primer on how to time the operation of the device to coincide with any special effects being used so that humans will be none the wiser.

Skipper: Outstanding Kowalski! (A metallic knock comes from the hatch above a moment before it slides open and a woman's voice echoes through the HQ)

Nicketti: Hey guys, it's time to shove off if we're to be in position at the right time.

Skipper: Alright boys, let's move out! (The penguins all make their way up the ladder with the exception of Private who gestures that he will be along momentarily. Private then makes his way to the girl's quarters where they are helping Marlene, Loki, Yoshi, Ming, and Astrid with any costume effects that include styling of fur and the application of any costume makeup.)

Private: (as he enters the girls quarters) Oh, I see that everything is coming along well. You um..look ghoulish.

Erin: We'll take that as a compliment Private.

Marlene: (looks back from her seat in front of the mirror) Are you okay Private, you look nervous.

Private: Me nervous, of course not. We've done this sort of show for the past several years, it's nothing new. I'm sure I can handle the changes this year.

Elisa: You're going to see Babs though, right?

Private: Yes, but if anything I'm looking forward to that.

Meg: I know what he's nervous about; this is his first time meeting his son face to face. What's his name?

Private: Um, …Rainbow. (Snickering is heard from all the girls) What! It's an Australian name; it was the name of Babs's father. (The snickering has intensified)

Elisa: It sounds something you would call a hippie, you're lucky Skipper isn't here.

Private: (sighs) No need to worry, Skipper already slapped me over it.

Erin: Skipper slapped you, …why?

Private: Well he didn't want to slap a kid so he slapped me instead.

Marlene: Yea, that sounds like our Skipper.

Private: If it means anything to you, he prefers to be called RB. I guess he felt strange about the name as well.

Marlene: Arby? (The girls look at each other) That's not so bad, we can go with Arby.

Private: Actually it's R. B., but tomato tom`ato I guess.

Elisa: Wait, …your kids a fruit!? (Private rolls his eyes)

Marlene: Wait, …how old is Arby?

Private: A little over two, why?

Marlene: So he's an adult then, why are you calling him a kid?

Private: Because I never got to see him as one, not in person anyway. He's still my kid no matter what age he is.

Elisa: Is he going to be in the show tonight?

Private: Yes, he'll be arriving with the others as part of the good guys.

Meg: Wait, who says we're the bad guys?

Erin: We're part of the forces of darkness come to haunt humanity on all hallows eve, remember? AKA, we're the bad guys.

Meg: How come I never got that memo?

Elisa: Clean out your inbox once in a while and you might find it. You know underneath all of those links that lead to penguin courtship videos on the nature channel. (Meg blushes under her feathers)

Erin: Give it a rest Elisa, options are limited around here and we all have needs we get it.

Elisa: Talk about options, I want Private to show me how to get to that other universe with the giant penguins. That sounds like a world full of studs to me, and you don't have to worry about spitting out an egg every now and then because they're all neutered.

Private: Sterile not neutered, and not anymore we fixed that.

Elisa: Really, what did you do jump start their plumbing?

Private: No, we worked out a deal with an isolationist nation of blue penguins that hadn't been affected to acquire genetic samples and the zookeeper sent over the entire stock of otter genetic samples that were still in cryo-storage from when Marlene had the kids.

Marlene: (shock) Huh….what!? You've got to be kidding me! That program was ended, what are those things still doing around here?

Private: They were supposed to have been destroyed but were overlooked for some reason so since they were needed elsewhere the zookeeper sent them to help out.

Elisa: (Sulks a little) I still want to go.

(The scene changes to later in the evening in the park outside of the zoo. The entire area has been set up as a sort of makeshift outside restaurant sponsored by a higher end eating establishment located within the city. Evidence of this is the signage surrounding the eating area indicating the name and location of the sponsor. Those who were not able to gain tickets to participate in the event have gathered on the grassy knolls surrounding the area which is quickly filling up as well as the event has gained notoriety over the years. Behind the eating area which has been made up to look like a fine dining establishment with cloth covered tables and decorative lamp posts that flicker as if lit by candle to provide ambiance is a number of tents. Some of them conceal the restaurant equipment and others to conceal the animals as they prepare for the nights event. Inside the animals tent the people from the movie theater, Jr., and Steve are all performing final checks on equipment and actors to insure that everything goes off without a hitch. Others from Steve's apartment are in attendance simply to lend support and watch the show. In the background Ming can be seen fidgeting nervously as she frets about her part. Before long Julian's voice can be heard offering unsolicited critiques on everybody's warm up routines. He comes upon Ming who does not notice him at first.)

Julian: (fumbles in thought while twirling his digit in front of him for a moment) Um… hey, you there.

Ming: (turns to face Julian) Me?

Julian: Yes you, what are you doing there? You are supposed to be warming up, …instead you look like you could upchuck at any time. Which by the way if you are, try to aim for somebody who's makeup doesn't look right because maybe that will fix it. I mean we're supposed to look like something that crawled out of the garbage can right?

Ming: I think you mean grave.

Julian: Well they both smell the same so what's the difference. …And YOU, don't be so picky for goodness sake. Now what is being the problem here?

Ming: Problem?

Julian: Yes the problem, if you keep wringing your paws they are going to come off that is the problem. It is starting to make ME nervous and you know we can't have that so what are we going to do here to make you stop doing that thing that you are doing. (Ming looks at Julian unsure of what to say) Come on girl spit it out now, just not on me we covered that part remember? What is being the problem!?

Ming: I've never been in front of so many people before, what if I forget my part or something?

Julian: That is simple, …you will humiliate us all and completely ruin the show that I have worked so hard as your king to make perfect your booty shaking. Um, …the others will not feel so great about it either I'm sure that part is being clear to you as broken glass. (Pause) Okay, so you are worried that you will screw up horribly. Here is my advice as your king, (clasps Ming's cheeks with his paws) Stop worrying and just do your part, it is simple booty shaking to a song written by a strange now dead human. Feel the music and make with the booty shaking, ..booty, booty, booty, it is ALWAYS about the booty, you must be remembering that! There now you have my advice I suggest that you make the most of it. I have many important things to do now so I will not be coming by to repeat it to your face again. (Julian walks off pompously with Maurice in tow)

Maurice: I don't really think that was the kind of support that would have done the girl some good your majesty.

Julian: Who is supporting? I just want her to stop doing that thing with her paws, it was freaking me out. (Maurice rolls his eyes and grumbles as the two continue on their way. Marlene who was standing not far off talking to Yoshi about her sudden attachment to a gaudy ring on her digit couldn't help but overhear parts of Ming's conversation and makes her way over to Ming after Julian leaves)

Marlene: (prying) So, …what was that all about?

Ming: (sighs) Oh nothing, Julian was just trying to impart some not so helpful advice to help me along. (Pause) I'm a little nervous.

Marlene: Yea I expected that you might be since you almost never set foot outside of the zoo. Let me guess, butterflies in the stomach, head buzzing, that sort of thing?

Ming: Heart pounding too, I feel like I've overdosed on one of those human energy drinks.

Marlene: Red Bull®?

Ming: No, that one with the green claw marks I think.

Marlene: (Sighs) Monster®, (shakes her head) I made the mistake of drinking that at one of Tony's theater Christmas parties one year, ….never again! I remember lying down under a table out of sight during the party pleading for God to make my heart stop. (Chuckles) Would you mind if I gave you a little motherly advice instead of, you know, Julian's preferred brand? (Ming smirks and nods) The humans will often tell each other to try picturing everyone in the audience in their undergarments; I think this is supposed to interject humor to alleviate the stress. Either that or imagining other people in a more embarrassing situation than yours is somehow supposed to make you feel better. (Pause) Anyway, …my suggestion is to simply pretend that the audience isn't there at all.

Ming: That works?

Marlene: That's how I got past it my first time out there, I was nervous too.

Ming: Why were you nervous though, I thought I'd heard that you used to compete in some zoo internet popularity contest and won multiple times? Wouldn't you be used to being in public?

Marlene: Performing for a camera isn't quite the same thing as performing in public because you can't see the people watching you. Doing tricks for a few people at a time during the day even isn't quite the same as being in front of a huge crowd. A large crowd can have a tremendous psychological effect so what you need to do is take them out of the equation by pretending that they aren't there. It's dark out so that shouldn't be as hard as during the day, if you pretend that nobody is watching you then that should alleviate much of the stress. Just go out there and do your best.

Ming: What if I screw up and make you guys look bad? What if I forget my part?

Marlene: You're my daughter and I love you. You could never make us look bad, just better. And if you forget something, …improvise. We'll make do, you'll see. (Jr. who had come over recently to see what the conversation was about raises his monocles connected to his virtual control gear as Marlene leaves to attend to something else.)

Jr.: Sounds like some good motherly advice, sorry to eavesdrop by the way.

Ming: It's okay. (Gestures to the equipment) So what is that stuff anyway?

Jr.: Some virtual control gear I designed so that I could control the special effects we came up with in real time. (gestures to the monocles) These allow me to see everything that is going on as well as the status of all the equipment. The gloves allow me to interact with the virtual environment and control everything. Here, you try. (He removes a monocle and places it on Ming's head. Ming moves her head around and watches the images displayed on the monocle change.)

Ming: What am I seeing?

Jr.: That's the view from one of the hidden cameras we have out there, that's how I'm able to see everything.

Ming: How many?

Jr.: Twenty four. (he places his other monocle down in front of his eye and gestures with the gloves) Here, let me rotate the camera for you. (Ming watches as the camera view in her monocle slowly moves about to show the entire setup outside and then comes to pause on the crowd.)

Ming: (whimpers) That's a lot of people out there, I think I see a news van.

Jr.: Yea, the show gets more popular every year. (Ming whimpers again) Sorry, I guess I'm not helping. (Pause) I have an idea that could only work for you. (Ming picks her head up in interest.) Remember how your mom said to improvise? (Ming nods) Well do one better, be yourself out there. (Ming looks confused)

Ming: What are you talking about, I'm always myself.

Jr.: No, …I mean be YOURSELF. Use your talents, …just don't do anything over the top. We already have special effects out there, lighting, music, and the like. People will think that it's part of the show. I mean you're going to pretend that they aren't there anyway if that works for you but this would be a chance to do what you can do and still remain anonymous. If anybody asks, they were last minute effects that I added.

Ming: You'd do that for me? (Jr. nods) What should I do?

Jr.: Like I said don't go over the top, do the illusions. Can you do them on that scale? (Ming shrugs) I guess we'll find out then. Second, …WHAT can you do? You know, besides the candle trick.

Ming: I made Hannibal think a doorway was somewhere else so he walked into a wall.

Jr.: (smirks) …And I want to hear that story later. (Pause) Can you do anything else?

Ming: As long as I have a sample to follow.

Jr.: How about that little novelty plasma ball I have in my lab? (Ming takes a deep breath and closes her eyes to concentrate as she holds out her paw. A moment later a miniature plasma ball similar to the one in Jr.'s lab only without the apparatus appears floating in Ming's paw. Jr. smiles from ear to ear.) That could look so COOL out there. (Pause) So okay then, you improvise when necessary out there and from time to time you do your thing. Just remember, don't go overboard or I won't be able to explain it away. (Pause) So does any of that make you feel better? (Ming makes a so-so gesture and hands back Jr.'s monocle.) Don't worry, …I get good vibes about this whole thing. You'll be fantastic out there. (Ming smirks meekly) Now go finish getting ready, we have less than an hour before show time. (Ming takes a deep sigh of uncertainty as Jr. walks off)

Comments and suggestions are always welcome.

DOD: Department of Defense

IRS: Internal Revenue Service

MLRS: Multiple Launch Rocket System