DISCLAIMER: Penguins of Madagascar and all original storyline characters are the property of Nickelodeon and the respective creative talents of the show. The creation of this fan fiction is for enjoyment purposes only and no money is being made. All characters of my own creation remain my property and may not be copied or used without permission.
Once More unto the Breech
Chapter 5
By
Wildgoose
(It is seven in the morning on the day following Halloween as the rattle of keys are heard on the lock of an apartment door just before it opens revealing a very fatigued Steve before he steps foot into the apartment. He closes the door behind him and drops his keys on a nearby table before walking through the living room on his way to the bedroom and tripping over Heidi falling flat on his face. Grumbling as he got up he shuffles the rest of the way to his room. Once inside he doesn't bother to get changed he just flops into bed with a loud grumbling sigh. Beside him and already awake is Kitsune who waits patiently for few moments before tapping Steve awake again.)
Steve: (opens his tired eyes) What IS it woman!?
Kitsune: (scowls/gestures) I realize that you're tired but please don't snap at me. How did things go, is Yoshi okay?
Steve: (sighs) We couldn't find her, she never came back to the zoo and when we searched the park Rico was able to track her to a single spot where we lost all signs of her. The only lead we could find after that was a squirrel named Fred who apparently saw her when she disappeared but the only thing that he could tell us was that she went up.
Kitsune: (gestures) Up, …that's it, ..just up?
Steve: That's what we said at which point Fred included that there was green light too.
Kitsune: (gestures/frustrated) That makes absolutely no sense, she HAD to have gone somewhere. Was she abducted?
Steve: There aren't any signs that ANYTHING happened, her tracks just disappeared and there aren't any indications that anybody or thing had been through the area recently. All we have is a kooky story from a dimwitted squirrel.
Kitsune: (pauses to vent then smirks/gestures) Was it Mater's Ghost light?
Steve: (confused) Who? (Pause) Oh, …you've been watching "Cars"® with the kids haven't you. (Pause) No, I'm pretty sure it wasn't the ghost light. (Pause) You know, you're taking this whole thing pretty calmly considering the way you reacted when she took a detour to Denmark with the others a number of years ago.
Kitsune: (grumbling sigh/gestures) I'm freaking out on the inside, I'm trying to maintain balance by being calm on the outside at the same time. (Huffs) Anything else to report?
Steve: You're going to wear yourself out if you keep that up much longer.
Kitsune: (eye roll/gestures) I've begun to notice that already. Anything else?
Steve: Yup, …I had a ball of a time trying to explain to the zoo administration how one of the animals could just disappear…again.
Kitsune: (Gestures) So… what happened?
Steve: Exactly what I expected, the administration took advantage of the fact that the military no longer has my back.
Kitsune: (gestures) I'm not sure I understand.
Steve: I'll spell it out for you, F..I..R..E..D! (Pause) There's nothing to be done about it this time either, to make matters worse Halloween has passed and it will be difficult to pass off the costume bit if people see Wight again and we still haven't found a place to move to yet that will allow us to bring the extended family. (Pause) You know what I mean. (Kitsune nods)
Kitsune: (gestures/gets out of bed and retrieves her sword from a high position on the wall) There is always something to be done.
Steve: (rubs his face with his palm) What are you doing?
Kitsune: (gestures) What should have been done long ago. They are without honor; you have given many years of loyal service and have been a great friend to the denizens of the zoo. Yet this is how you are repaid?
Steve: So you're just going to dispatch the zoo administration? (Thinks for a moment then shakes his head) I like it, …but unless you want to spend your life wearing an orange jumpsuit and having your family visit you behind bars, then I don't recommend that course of action. (smirks) Besides, …you're not dressed and your underwear is riding up on you.
Kitsune: (sighs as she replaces her sword on the wall then gestures) MUST human society be so complicated!?
Steve: Hey, …I didn't make it that way. Seven billion other people did, I just live here.
Kitsune: (clenches her teeth as she looks down and then pauses to think as she lets out a deep sigh.) There IS a place we can go. Your place in New Jersey, is it rented right now?
Steve: No, but if we go there you won't be able to work at the theater anymore.
Kitsune: (gestures) True, but there are other jobs and our fiscal situation hardly requires either of us to have one.
Steve: (sighs) Thanks to Ayami's financial advice on investing my settlement from years ago. Thanks to her we don't have to touch the principal, we live off of the interest and dividends and even that is more than we've needed up to this point so what we don't use gets reinvested. (Pause) I wish I'd known that's what she did for a living when I first met her so maybe I wouldn't have had such a hard time supporting you guys during your transitional period. (Kitsune shrugs)
Kitsune: (gestures) You've always done the books not me, what was the original settlement from the accident?
Steve: Six point five million, which has been compounding with Ayami's advice.
Kitsune: (gestures) Who knew rushing to my aid years ago would have improved our situation so much.
Steve: It could have gone the other way and made things worse you know. (Pause) …And I'm not sure if it's actually improved, the better off we are the more headaches the animals seem to cause me. (reaches over and knocks the alarm clock off the end table in frustration) What IS it with these guys, you might as well lay me on the floor and write door mat on me. (Pause) No, worse yet I feel like the used wet towel that has been placed on the floor in the bathroom to keep from slipping.
Kitsune: (gestures/ smirks) That's just their way how showing you how much they care. You're pretty far from being a wet towel. (Kitsune reaches over and wraps her arms about him) I still find you warm and comfortable.
Steve: Oh well in that case, could they stop caring for a while so I can recover? My head has felt like it's about to fall off since the moment I met them. That's one seriously long headache. (Pause) …And no offense but for some reason when you get into bed the temperature of your feet and butt drop to below freezing, that's not so comfortable for me when you want to snuggle.
Kitsune: (looks hurt for moment and then gestures/nods returning to the previous topic) The house seems to be the best option for us right now, I'm sure we can figure out how to work things with Hannibal and as for the rest visitation will always be an option.
Steve: (skeptical) Work things out with Hannibal, …visitation an option? You mean wait until he "escapes" from the zoo to come be with his family at which time you'll be waiting to pick him up along with anybody else who follows. (Kitsune smirks and shrugs) Yea, that's what I thought. (Groans) Just make sure you use a rented vehicle or something so the whole thing doesn't come back to me somehow. (Scratches his beard) If one of them escapes it's a fair bet that they all will, they don't leave anybody behind. (Thinks for a moment) I guess the barn is going to become the penguin's next HQ; There haven't been any horses in it for a long time so I'll have to fix it up a little and get rid of all the cobwebs. (Pause) I'll need to set some rules for those guys too.
Kitsune: (gestures) Rules, ..such as?
Steve: No construction of missile silos in my backyard. McGuire AFB, Fort Dix, and Lakehurst Naval Air Station are only a stone's throw away relatively speaking; I don't need helicopters and tanks showing up on my doorstep while an aircraft carrier battle group pulls up the Rancocus creek to investigate the penguin's activities.
Kitsune: (scowls/gestures) You're joking, right?
Steve: Of course I'm joking; the Rancocus creek is WAY too shallow for something like that. (Pause) Then there are the neighbors but we'll have to deal with that when we get there. (Sighs) Ocean Spray® pulled out of NJ a number of years ago,…I'd be willing to bet old Mr. Wells would be willing to part with some land. Maybe I could buy up one or more of the cranberry bogs behind my property if he's willing to subdivide his.
Kitsune: (gestures) Bogs?
Steve: Cranberries are grown in fields that are recessed into the ground so that they can be flooded in the fall for harvesting and kept that way during the winter to prevent frost damage. If they were kept flooded all the time they would make good ponds for the others to live in during the warmer weather. I guess I'll start looking into that in the morning; the whole thing is going to come as shock to everybody though. I haven't had the heart to tell them yet that they've been decommissioned. Now I'll have to break it to them in the worst way possible, by email.
Kitsune: (gestures) I think that has got to be one of the most beautiful qualities about you.
Steve: What?
Kitsune: (gestures) No matter how much we drive you crazy you still care about us.
Steve: You can't drive me crazy, …I'm already there. I tried going to a counselor once about my PTSD and when he asked if anyone in my family suffered from insanity I replied with "no, actually we all enjoy it." (Kitsune responds with a horse laugh)
(The scene changes to three days later early in the morning before the zoo has opened. All of the animals are out in their habitats waiting for the morning's breakfast.)
Skipper: (looks about) Kowalski report!
Kowalski: This is strange, Skipper. The zookeeper hasn't been seen for three days and we've had no alternate means of communication from him, it's not like the zookeeper to take a vacation without telling us. (Pause as he looks about) To make matters worse our breakfast is unusually late this morning. (The sound of Rico's stomach growling is heard) There you see, we're half past hungry. That is officially late for breakfast.
Skipper: Hmm, you're right. (Thinks for a moment) Something is definitely not kosher here. Rico, Private, you two go with Elisa and Meg and recon the zoo. I want to know just what the heck is going on around here. (The four salute and proceed to head for the habitat fence only to discover that it has been electrified. Each member of the group writhes a little bit before jumping back with yelps of pain.) What the deuce, the electric fence has been turned on!
Meg: (feathers smoldering slightly) Brilliant observation Inspector Clouseau. Tell us something we don't already know.
Skipper: (looks toward Kowalski) Kowalski report. I need something that they don't already know.
Kowalski: (pulls a pair of binoculars out from somewhere and jumps up on Rico's shoulders so that he can have a look around.) There appears to be a large shipping truck parked over by the administration building. (Pause) …And the man from the sanitation department checking the trashcans has an overt plumbers butt. It's NOT a pretty sight.
Skipper: There you see, I bet you didn't know THAT did you. (Pause) Kowalski, I wasn't aware that were getting any transfers in today. What gives?
Kowalski: Unknown Skipper, the zoo keeper always kept us in the loop ever since the zoo upgraded their computer security and without him we haven't been able to find out anything.
Skipper: You still haven't cracked that new security software yet Kowalski!? (Annoyed) This breakdown in communications is unacceptable; when we see him again I want the zookeeper put on report!
Private: That may be a bit of a challenge Skipper since he's our superior officer and everything.
Skipper: Maybe but it will make me feel better anyway, now see that it's done. (Kowalski and Private glance at each other for a moment. In the background Syron is seen escorting Jr. and Astrid to join the group while clutching them both by the feathers on the backs of their necks.)
Syron: (hushed voice) Fall out means fall out you two.
Astrid: Do you have something against sleeping in, mom!?
Syron: I'm all for sleeping in, especially your kind if I had somebody but you two are getting carried away. You're going to get caught by your father one of these times. (Astrid rolls her eyes)
Astrid: What do you have against us pairing off? We are considered adults now you know.
Syron: I don't have anything against it, I support you but I don't think your father could handle being related by family to Kowalski or Jr. just yet. You know how he feels about subordinates and officers. (Astrid responds with a groan)
Astrid: We need to get out of this place. (Alice is seen approaching the penguin habitat while another zookeeper is seen approaching the otter habitat where Marlene and family are seen waiting for breakfast.)
Alice: (Approaches the fence with a bucket of fish.) Okay you smelly little ice birds, let's get this over with. (Alice begins to toss fish into the habitat with the penguins each maneuvering to catch them. While the penguins are busy the other zookeeper walks over from the otter habitat with some kind of canister slung on his back and a device in hand.) Did you get it done? (The other zookeeper nods) Alright then let's do these guys, they're pretty preoccupied right now so they shouldn't see it coming. (The other zookeeper hands his canister and device to Alice)
Zookeeper: Do you want to be the one to do these guys?
Alice: (Smirks) Are you kidding? With pleasure! (Alice readies the device and levels it at the penguins. The repeating sound of compressed air is heard as at least three of the penguins are hit with darts.)
Skipper: (watching Syron, Astrid, and Jr. fall to the ground) (mouth full of fish) What the….AMBUSH! Evasive meneuv… (Skipper is hit with a dart as he attempts to belly slide away and struggles as the sedative takes effect.) No…You …won't… take…me…without…(He falls unconscious as the others are hit during the panic. Once all of the penguins are down Alice calls into her radio.) Alright it's done; let's get this show on the road. (The shipping truck sitting by the administration building starts and a moment later pulls over between the otter and penguins habitats. Alice calls over as people get out from the truck.) Don't take that black and white otter, that one is too rare to give up. The zoo doesn't want to part with it, the rest of them are all trouble. You can have them!
Truck driver: What kind of trouble could these animals possibly…(Alice cuts him off)
Alice: I could tell you stories buddy, but trust me. You don't want to know.
Truck driver: (shrugs) Whatever… (He and his co-workers enter the habitats to begin loading the animals into crates.)
Zookeeper: Hey Alice, how come we're getting this done now instead of later when the zoo closes for the day?
Alice: Because the zoo's internet connection has been down for the past few days and I needed something to do before the zoo administration realizes that I'm not actually "working" yet.
Zookeeper: But Alice isn't this working?
Alice: No, …getting rid of a bunch of headaches is my idea of FUN. Seeing Steve go was just icing on the cake.
Zookeeper: What do you have against that guy anyway, he seemed alright to me. He's a vet you know, got himself all shot up defending our country and stuff.
Alice: (ice in her voice) He dumped me a while back okay? Instead of me he went for some Asian mute, now I'm stuck at home alone with no life.
Zookeeper: There's other fish in the sea you know, I'm sure you could get somebodies attention for a few minutes. You know, until they get to know you. (Pause) Don't hate me for saying but you've really been getting yourself into shape over the past couple of years. I wouldn't be surprised if you have a beach body to turn heads with if you dressed right. (Alice turns to stare at him) Hey don't look at me, I'm just saying.
Alice: (scoffs) Beach body. (Pause) Do you want to hear something weird, I don't exercise…at all. I fall asleep every night on the couch in front of the TV and wake up feeling full of energy like I just had the workout of my life. (Lifts her shirt to expose her abdomen) I mean look at this!
Zookeeper: (eyes widen) Whoa, ..nice six pack.
Alice: Tell me about it, …you should see my butt!
Zookeeper: (hands up in front) Whoa, …you're going to have to buy me dinner first. Let's keep things professional around here. (They exchange glances for a moment)
Alice: Pick me up Thursday at eight?
Zookeeper: (sighs and thinks for a moment) Leave the surly attitude at home, dress like you actually care, and have an open mind for a change and it's a deal.
Alice: (hand on hip) So you're going to make me work for it huh?
Zookeeper: ….Yup
Alice: (annoyed/sighs) Deal. (They shake hands) (Silent pause) Did you know that black and white otter can talk?
Zookeeper: …Yup. (Alice glares at him in disbelief) …But I claim a Sgt. Schultz status, it's the only way I can keep my sanity in this place.
(The scene changes to another place somewhere far from home, Yoshi wakes alone to find herself in a dimly lit room. She attempts to move but is unable with exception of her eyes and face; she attempts to look around to the best of her ability and discovers that there is no furniture of any kind within the room. There are no visible restraints about her nor is she confined to a table or chair, she appears to be floating horizontally a few feet above the floor as though she were on a table despite the lack of one. A moment later Yoshi is able to observe herself being scanned but is unable to determine the source. Parts of herself become visible to the naked eye as the scan passes over them beginning first with her muscles, then blood vessels and organs, then nerves, and finally a detailed scan of her brain which Yoshi is able to witness from a reflection off of the smooth surfaced walls of the room. When this has concluded fingers of energy descend from a single point on the ceiling and contact her at the wrists and ankles occasionally administering a burning sensation that made her yelp in pain. A moment later additional energy fingers descend upon her and contact her heart and forehead giving her the sensation of a prolonged electrified jolt at which point Yoshi blacks out. When she awakens she slowly gets up off of the floor and begins to notice the fur on her body below the neck line has been replaced with a luminescent black and green uniform that appears to teem with energy. Yoshi looks down at the ring on her finger to notice that the crystal embedded within now constantly glows.)
Yoshi: What the…? (Yoshi looks at the reflection of herself on the wall as she gets up from the floor and begins to poke and prod at herself. A moment later she realizes that she is not alone, standing nearby is an alien creature that resembles a large squirrel wearing an identical uniform.)
Alien: Greetings, …have you concluded admiring yourself?
Yoshi: (embarrassed) Oh uh…I uh…was just wondering where my fur went.
Alien: We shaved you bald while you were unconscious. (Pause as Yoshi gawks) Be at ease, I was attempting to use an example of your humor for the sake of personal relation. Your uniform is composed entirely of energy; I assure you that everything is where it is supposed to be. (Yoshi relaxes)
Yoshi: Energy huh? (Pause as she prods at herself a little more) How is it that you speak my language?
Alien: I'm not actually; the ring each of us wears is able to access a working knowledge base that includes the languages of all known worlds as well as their accumulated information. It is actively translating for us both. (Pause) So…if you have no more questions than allow me to introduce myself, I am Ch'p.
Yoshi: Ch'p? Is that anything like chocolate chip or should I ask where Dale is? (Silent pause) I guess not, you don't look all that much like a tasty snack either. (Pause as she thinks of a more worthy question) What species are you, are you a squirrel?
Ch'p: (smiles) My race is H'lvenian but I suppose we do resemble your mammalian tree dwelling species. I was dispatched here to welcome you, since you are the first from your world to be chosen it was thought that someone who was similar I appearance would make acclimation easier for you.
Yoshi: Acclimation, …to what?
Ch'p: Your new life in the green lantern corps of course.
Yoshi: I'm guessing that's the new job I've inherited. (Ch'p nods) So what do we do?
Ch'p: Our function is to maintain peace and order within the universe, each of us is responsible for a vast sector of space and you'll be required wherever you are needed to fulfill your role.
Yoshi: (thinks for a moment) So …I'm a space cop?
Ch'p: In a manner of speaking, to be inducted into the green lantern corps is considered to be a great honor and the highest of responsibilities.
Yoshi: That purple guy who gave me the ring didn't seem to think so.
Ch'p: (Chuckles) That was Aben Sur, he was married five times and each time his spouse took him to the proverbial cleaners. Each world has its own laws and most take a dim view on loving and leaving. Beyond that he was amongst our finest warriors, he claimed his secret to success when combating evil was to imagine the enemy as one of his ex-spouse if he was forced to terminate.
Yoshi: (Looks away for a moment in concern) He sounds like he was an interesting guy. (Pause) So if I'm some sort of space cop then which galactic donut shop am I supposed to hang out at? (Ch'p says nothing and simply looks at her) Wow, ..that's a stereotype out here too huh?
Ch'p: (Rolls his eyes) The planet you are now on is called Oa, it is home to the green lantern corps.
Yoshi: (looks out a nearby door to see a world before her that is completely unfamiliar. An illuminated hue is visible on the horizon that is similar to a late sunset. The landscape is rocky with the lights of nearby cities visible at a distance in any direction. Yoshi gestures to what looks like a miniature football stadium lofted up high on pillars. ) What's that out there?
Ch'p: A citadel occupied by a bunch of cranky immortal old farts who put this whole menagerie together, they are known as the Guardians. If they should ever call upon you be sure not to say anything more than is asked of you or you could prompt them to droll on about some past experience they had that's completely irrelevant to the situation at hand, you could watch yourself grow old listening to it. Provided you were going to grow old that is.
Yoshi: Say what now?
Ch'p: The rings energy will prevent you from aging so long as you wear it so you need not fear a death of natural causes. However death can still come to you by the hands of an enemy so do take care, this job is not one to be taken lightly.
Yoshi: Death can also come to you by being cheap and not putting enough gas in the tank. (Ch'p smirks and nods) So what's with all of the green around here?
Ch'p: Green is the color of will, it was discovered long ago that the will of all of the occupants of the universe could be harnessed for a greater purpose. Will gives us our power, with it you can create anything you require, the rings limits are only what you can imagine but what you must remember is that your constructs will only be as strong as your will. With that in mind you must always remember that fear is the enemy of will, fear makes one feeble and irrational, and can prevent one from acting. (Pause) Are you ready to begin your training? (Yoshi shrugs with uncertainty. Ch'p gestures for Yoshi to walk out the door onto a balcony, he then rises up into the air surrounded by a form fitting field of green energy and moves about twenty feet away into open air) We're going to fly now, …join me. Remember, will powers your ring so you need only think of what you wish to do.
Yoshi: (gulps) Right… (Pause as she looks over the edge at the ground far below) What's the saying, "Today is a good day to die"? (She closes her eyes and steps off the ledge and falls out of sight with a loud yelp, a moment later she zips up past Ch'p surrounded by a similar field of energy laughing and somersaulting as she goes.) Oh YES, just give me a cape and paint a big "S" on my chest and I'll be set to go!
Ch'p: (amused) …S? (Pause) Come with me, …it's time to show you around. (Ch'p flies off with Yoshi in close pursuit as the tour begins and Yoshi is educated with regards to the Green Lantern Corps.)
(The Scene changes to a number of days later on earth, it is dark at first until the light begins to come up as Marlene wearily opens her eyes. As she looks about she notices that she is in an artificial cave, not like the one made of actual rock that she was used to. The air is warmer and more humid than she remembers as she gets up from the floor of the cave.)
Marlene: (looks about the cave for her family to find them nowhere in sight) What the, …where is everybody? (Pause) This…this isn't my cave, where am I? (Marlene wanders out of the cave into the bright sunlight to find a somewhat familiar setting. Before her is a vast pond for her to swim in as well as a rocky platform for to sun herself on. Off to the side of this is a small wooded area made up of bushes, bulrushes, and tall grasses that hide a small waterfall. Beyond the pond is a metal fence that separates the habitat from any humans who come by to observe. At this moment just outside the fence are a man and a boy reading a framed sign that describes the animal within as well as the native habitat and region of the world this animal is commonly found in. Marlene climbs up onto the artificial rocks as high as she can to get a look around.) This…this isn't my zoo. (Pause as she listens to people talk as they pass by.) These people don't even sound like they're from New York. (A moment later Marlene here's a voice call over to her from another habitat.)
Voice: Hey Marlene, welcome back! I guess New York didn't suit you so well huh? (Marlene looks across the way to the next habitat to find an Arctic fox looking at her.)
Marlene: (Pause in thought as she remembers the voice) Snowshoe? (Pause) I haven't seen you since I left San Diego, …where are we?
Snowshoe: San Diego, …duh! Like I said, welcome back.
Marlene: San Diego, …how did I get here!?
Snowshoe: Wow, ..they really must have pumped you full of sedative this time. (Pause) You were transferred of course.
Marlene: (hyperventilates) Transferred!? What…where…who,…where is my family!?
Snowshoe: You had a family, wow you must have had some adventures over there.
Marlene: (huffs/looks about) Yea, I could tell you a few stories. (Pause) Where is my family!?
Snowshoe: I don't know anything about any family of otters; you're the only one that showed up here.
Marlene: What…no…no this can't be! The penguins were always on top of this sort of thing. The zookeeper, he always made sure this sort of thing didn't happen! How could this have happened!?
Snowshoe: You were down with your zookeeper? …FREAKY!
Marlene: What, …not like THAT! He was our friend, he looked out for us.
Snowshoe: You should have stayed then. (Shrugs) Well like I said, welcome back. You let me know when you're done with your panic attack, okay. (Walks away from his fence into his habitat)
Marlene: (sighs/grumbles) That guy always WAS a jerk! (Pause) This is all wrong, what am I doing back here!? (Begins to cry) I want my family back!
(The scene changes as about the same time elsewhere the penguins begin to wake to notice that their surroundings have changed as well. The environment is a cold cave with ice like walls.)
Skipper: (gets to his feet) Kowalski?
Kowalski: (gets to his feet as do the others) We're all here Skipper.
Skipper: Good to hear it, now how about a report?
Kowalski: Our groggy status and pounding headaches seem to suggest that we were sedated.
Skipper: I remember now, we were ambushed. (Pause) I told you guys that we still had enemies out there, now who was it?
Kowalski: Um, …as far as we know…it was Alice.
Skipper: Alice, …all this time acting like she didn't care one way or the other while secretly plotting to dispose of us. (Pause) It's Blowhole, it's GOT to be! He found a way to bring Alice into his fold.
Private: Skipper, you've got to snap out of it. Blowhole is dead; we know that for a fact.
Skipper: Then it's his zombie, Halloween was less than a week ago it could happen!
Kowalski: While normally I would relish such an absurd scientific anomaly I'm afraid that I have to be realistic for a change. No it couldn't. (Pause) I think the truth is something closer to the fact that we've quite simply been transferred, and by the looks of it I would deduce that they sent us back to our native land.
Rico: (grunts) The Minnesota zoo?
Kowalski: While the environment DOES look like a typical early winter there, I think not. It seems more likely that they've sent us home to Antarctica. (Looks at the walls) Note the ice cave, ..no doubt we're on an ice flow somewhere in the Ross ice shelf.
Skipper: (sighs) Alright, we'll deal with Alice later.
Private: Skipper, what about the zookeeper? He always prevented this sort of thing from happening.
Skipper: We can only assume that she took him out somehow, she'll pay for it I promise you. (Looks up the top of the cave and shakes his flipper) Do you hear me woman, you'll pay! (The others exchange glances with each other)
Kowalski: (drawn out) …Right. (Pause) In the meantime Skipper, perhaps we should recon the area?
Skipper: I give the orders around here! (Pause) Rico and Private, split up and recon the area. Let's see what we're up against. For all we know we could be sitting smack dab in the middle of a leopard seal nesting ground. (Private gulps in fear but moves out anyway, the two return moments later.) That was fast, what's it like out there?
Private: Um…tropical.
Skipper: In Antarctica? (The four walk outside of the cave to find the temperature a balmy eighty degrees with bright sunshine and palm tree's visible outside of the habitat.) What the..? (Pause) What's an ice cave doing in a place like this?
Kowalski: Well given that we know ice can't exist at these temperatures I'm beginning to think that our ice cave may be artificial in nature. (He walks back to the cave and taps on the wall) Just as I'd thought, …dense polystyrene foam sprayed with glitter. It impersonates compacted snow quite well don't you think?
Skipper: Well where are we then? (Kowalski jumps up on Rico's shoulders to have a better look around)
Kowalski: Judging by the humans wearing shorts and thin t-shirts and the images on them, …I would say that we're in Florida. (Pause) More specifically I believe that we've been transferred to sea world oceanic park.
Private: Kowalski, you were able to get all that just from human clothing?
Kowalski: (Scoffs) Don't be ridiculous, There's a sign over on that concession stand selling stupid trinkets. (Gestures to the stand that is just outside of their habitat.)
Skipper: What about the others? Where's my family, …where's your kid Kowalski?
Kowalski: Unknown Skipper, they must not have been transferred with us.
Skipper: Well that doesn't wash, Kowalski I need options on getting back home as quickly as possible.
Kowalski: That will take time and additional recon, Skipper. We don't know the lay of the land yet. There's also the possibility that the others may not be at the Central Park Zoo anymore, they may have been transferred as well to another location.
Skipper: (thinks for a moment) Alright, then our first priority will be to make contact and determine their location. Kowalski, call the zookeeper!
Kowalski: No good I'm afraid, we don't have a phone and growing popularity of wireless communications devices has made payphones obsolete. (Pause) Besides, we always got our money from the fountain at the zoo which now, pardon the pun, leaves us penniless.
Skipper: (groans) Fine, once we get out of this habitat we'll just have to FIND a phone.
Private: There is another problem, Skipper.
Skipper: What now?
Private: We don't seem to have our translators with us, how will we talk to the zookeeper once we contact him?
Rico: (pretends to hold something while typing) Beep, boop, beep.
Skipper: Good idea Rico, we'll text the man.
Rico: (grunts) So what do we do for now?
Skipper: For now we keep the status quo until we can conduct our operations under darkness. (Skipper looks at some humans who have stopped by the habitat) Smile and wave boys.
Chapter six coming soon…
SGT. Shultz: reference to an old sit-com "Hogan's Heroes" involving a WWII POW camp in which one of the German guards was overweight and easily manipulated by the prisoners so to avoid trouble would always claim that he heard or saw nothing.
