Goodbye Cleveland

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Goodbye Cleveland

A horrid, nasty feeling was wriggling around inside of Buffy's stomach as she sat, curled up at the head of Faith's bed, watching her closest friend pack up a bag as she prepared to get back out on the road again. Buffy pulled her knees to her chest, sadly. "I can't believe you have to leave again so quickly," she said. "You've only just got here."

Faith paused from where she had been folding up a couple of shirts, shrugging as nonchalantly as she could muster. "Well, the bad guy's dead. We beat the dream prophecy or whatever the hell crap that was." She went back to folding shirts so that she didn't have to look Buffy in the eye. "And the guys have found another job. Figured I might as well go with them, you know? But I'll probably be back soon, so no worries." She hated this. This...guilt. It had never bothered her when leaving before. Damn Sam and his all knowing eyes. Now all she could think about was the fact that she was leaving and Buffy was gonna be all alone again, left to deal with all this stupid crap. With Xander and Willow and the other slayers taking advantage of her all of the time. But she just couldn't do it. She couldn't stay here for so long. She was far too restless and she wanted to be back out there.

"I know." Buffy plastered a smile onto her face, not wanting to make Faith feel bad. "I guess I just got used to having you guys around. The apartment's gonna seem real empty with just me and Andrew again."

Faith moved over to her closet to pull out her weapons bag, checking inside it to make sure she had everything she might need. She glanced at her watch and rolled her eyes. "Man, how long does it take to check one stupid car over?" she wondered out loud.

"Dean still messing with his baby?"

"You know it. He said he just wanted to give her a once over before leaving but he's been down there at least two hours. So much for wanting to leave before lunchtime, huh?"

Buffy felt that nasty wriggly feeling start up once again at the mention of them leaving. It had been bad enough all the previous times when it had been just Faith. But now she felt like she was losing Sam, and God even Dean too. And she just had this horrible feeling that once the two brothers left, they wouldn't ever be coming back.

"Dean, seriously man. What's taking you so long?" Sam called out to his brother.

Dean rolled himself out from underneath the Impala, his face the expression of total innocence. "I don't know what you mean."

"We haven't had any troubles with the car since we've been in Cleveland, so I don't see why you'd need to mess with it so much now. You were the one who said you wanted to leave early, remember? So why the delay?"

Dean winced and rubbed his oily hand over his hair. "No reason," he lied.

"You forget that I know you, Dean. I can tell when you're lying."

"I'm not lying," he protested as he pulled himself to his feet. Avoiding his brother's gaze, he looked down at his beloved car. "Maybe we should take her to a shop before we go. Get a professional to look her over."

Sam raised his eyebrows disbelievingly. "Seriously?"

"What?"

"Not once since Dad gave you that car have you ever let a 'professional' touch it. Not once. What's going on, Dean?"

Dean heaved a sigh and leaned back against the car, rubbing his closed eyes with his fingers, and then wincing once he remembered how dirty his hands were. "Nothing's going on! Jesus, Sam. Why've you gotta be so suspicious all the time? I just thought that maybe you'd wanna spend an extra couple of hours with your little girlfriend." It wasn't a complete lie. But it wasn't the complete truth, either. The longer he spent down here on his car, the longer it'd be until he'd have to say goodbye to...Cleveland. He'd gotten awfully fond of...Cleveland. And the thought of leaving Cleveland behind was kind of making his heart hurt. Even if Cleveland was a bitchy know it all with stupid shiny hair and could totally take him down in a second. Yeah, he really didn't wanna have to leave...Cleveland.

"Right." The way Sam elongated the word clearly showed that he didn't believe his brother for a second. "Last night you were all worried about her upsetting me and now you don't want us to be apart? Try another one."

Dean threw his dirty hands up in the air. "Fine! Whatever! I was just tryna be nice but screw you! We'll leave as soon as I've washed this crap off."

Sam watched in astonishment as his brother stormed out of the car park and slammed into the apartment building, ignoring the disgruntled frown an older resident gave him as the door crashed into the wall on his way. He shook his head and bent down to pick up the tools that Dean had left lying on the floor in his anger. He was more than used to his mood swings by now – he'd been putting up with them since they were kids – but these past couple of weeks had been ridiculous. Clearly there was something in Cleveland that was making Dean act weird. Or maybe it wasn't something, but someone. And if so, then Sam really needed to have a talk with his brother, before things got seriously messed up.

He finished picking up all of the tools and then frowned. There was something else underneath Dean's car...

Sam thanked God for long limbs as he easily managed to grab onto the mystery object and pull it out. It was...Faith's wallet. What was Faith's wallet doing underneath Dean's car? Surely they hadn't...no way. There wasn't enough space. So what was it doing there?

Perhaps she'd just dropped it on her way back from the bar the night before? Because he definitely remembered her having it there because she had drunkenly thrust him at one point and told him to go and buy more drinks. He opened it up to check that everything was still inside it. Seemed to be. Money, cards, photo. Check. He shrugged and stuffed it into his pocket before following Dean back into the apartment complex.

"Well that's it," Faith announced as she followed Dean out of her bedroom, duffel bag over one shoulder, weapons bag over the other. "We're all ready to go."

They met Sam in the living room and the three of them dropped their bags so that they could say goodbye to Buffy and Andrew. There was an ominous feel to the air. None of them liked this situation. This...having to say goodbye. It felt wrong, and there wasn't a single person in the room without a heavy stomach.

Buffy jumped up from where she had been sat on the couch painting Andrew's nails with a clear varnish. She walked straight over to Faith and pulled the other girl into an almost bone crushing hug. "Don't you dare leave it so long before you come back this time," she demanded. "And I expect a phone call at least once a day."

"So you can check up on me?" Faith teased.

"Duh. Of course."

Faith pulled back and gripped Buffy by the shoulders, grinning. "Fine. But I'll be checking up on you too."

Buffy moved over to Sam and nudged him with her shoulder before he swept her up in a hug so tight that her feet were dangling above the floor. He span her around once playfully before setting her back down. "I'm really gonna miss you," he admitted honestly. And he really was. With this hunting gig, he knew that it was always easier in the long run not to get attached to people, because in the end he was always going to have to leave. But this time it was different. He didn't know why. Maybe because there was already a sense of familiarity because of Faith, maybe because she was a slayer and she knew the kind of crap he had to deal with. Or maybe it was because he'd really felt some kind of connection with her. Not a romantic one, but a deep one nonetheless.

"Me too," Buffy claimed with a sad smile. "Just promise me that you'll come back some day."

Sam said nothing. He'd learned a long time ago never to make promises he wasn't sure he could keep.

Buffy turned to Dean and the two looked at each other awkwardly, not really sure in what manner they were supposed to say goodbye.

Eventually, Dean forced out a grin and held out his arms. "Don't I get a hug too?"

Unable to conceal a small burst of laughter, Buffy stepped into his arms and threw her own around his neck.

Dean stumbled for a second, surprised and delighted that she hadn't left him hanging there almost like he'd expected. He tightened his grip and buried his face in her hair. It smelled like that herbal whatever shampoo that he'd accidentally used the other day and pretended to hate, and holy Jesus it was doing things to him. Why'd she have to smell so damn good all the time? If he wasn't careful, he was about to say something potentially very embarrassing. He buried his head deeper in her hair to avoid humiliating word babble, and his nose nudged against her neck. Her skin smelled like peaches. Oh God. Don't say anything stupid. Don't say anything stupid. Don't say anything-

"Come with us!" he blurted.

-stupid.

Buffy pulled back abruptly. "What?!" she asked, not at all sure that she had heard him right.

But now that it was out there, no way was Dean taking it back. "Why not?" His voice was excited. "There's a big wide world out there outside of Cleveland, and it is filled with evil. Sam and me are on the hunt of our lives and we could use your help. We need your help."

Buffy scoffed and looked at Faith and Sam for some back up against this ridiculous idea, but they were both looking just as excited as Dean. Faith was positively bouncing on her feet.

"I can't just drop everything and go hunting with you," Buffy protested.

"Why not?" Faith wanted to know.

"Because I have a life here. And the school, and the slayers, and responsibilities. I can't just forget all that." Oh but God did she want to.

Faith snorted. "Screw that! Rana and Giles could totally handle the school! And the slayers are getting better by the day. Kennedy could take over your classes. Or Vi. Or both of them. Whatever."

"I don't think Giles would-"

"Giles would."

"What do you mean?"

Faith looked sheepish. "I kind of already spoke to him."

"About what?"

"About maybe you coming with us. I just ran it by him, 'cause I was gonna ask you to come and I wanted to know whether he thought it was a good idea. I'm doing the whole thinking through my actions think now, remember? And he said that it could definitely be arranged but that I wasn't allowed to ask you because you had to make the choice to leave yourself, or some crap like that. And I was like, 'Man, that's wicked stupid because how's she gonna make the choice if we don't run it by her?' but never mind 'cause this idiot's gone and blurted it out anyway." She grinned happily at Dean, who shrugged helplessly.

Buffy was in overload. She shook her head and stepped back. This was all happening to fast. "I can't just...I can't just leave my life."

Faith raised her eyebrows. "What life? You hunt, you slay, you work at the school, you let people take advantage of you..."

"That is true," Andrew added. "You do let people take advantage of you." He blinked and pulled a face. "Wait, what am I saying? Don't listen to her! You can't leave me!"

Buffy ignored him and turned to Faith with a frown. "I don't let people take advantage of me!"

"B, you work seven days a week just so no one else has to. Don't you want a break from all this?"

"I..."

"Buffy," Dean stepped forwards and took her shoulders in his hands. She was momentarily surprised at the use of her real name, and she turned all of her focus on him. "Come with us. Haven't you ever wanted to get out there? See the world? There's plenty of people out there who need your help outside of this town."

Why? Why did he have to go and talk like that? With his voice all low and seductive. She wanted to go. God, Buffy wanted to go so much. She'd been wanting to get out of Cleveland since before she even got here. And they were making such a convincing argument. So much sense. Could she go? Really? Could she leave everything behind and just go? Just like Faith did?

Sam must have seen the indecision on her face, because he spoke up for the first time. He had waited, before now, because he hadn't wanted to push her, to influence her decision like Faith and Dean were clearly trying to do. "We understand that you feel like you can't just up and leave," he accepted. "but Dean's right. There are so many other people out there who need people like you and us, and we could really use your help too."

Her resolve was slipping away. Very, very fast. "But what about Cleveland?"

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Dude, there's an entire school of slayers up the freakin' road. I think Cleveland's gonna be okay."

"One hunt," Sam suggested. And when Buffy looked over at him questioningly, he elaborated, "Come with us on one hunt, and if you don't like it, you can come home."

It seemed so simple. Could it really be that simple?

Faith punched Sam in the arm playfully. "Nice idea, Stretch."

"No!" Andrew moved to stand in between Buffy and the other three and held up his arms. "No, no, no! Stop with all your persaudy madness!" He pointed at Faith. "And your excitable cheer!" And then at Sam. "And your reasonable rationality!" And then finally at Dean. "And your...your smoldering eyes!"

"My smoldering what?"

"This is silly. It's all...silliness!" Andrew continued. "Buffy doesn't want to live out of a duffel bag or sleep in crummy motels or spend hours and hours in a car all day listening to Faith warble along to Christina Aguilara."

"We are not playing Christina Aguilara in my car," Dean muttered.

"She's not going with you, are you Buffy?" Andrew turned to look at her. "Buffy?"

There was a long silence in the room. Buffy's heart was beating fast and she was gazing at a patch of wall with unblinking eyes. She switched her gaze to Faith, and then to Sam and to Dean. And finally to Andrew.

Seeing the apologetic look in her eyes, Andrew huffed and crossed his arms. "Aw, geez."

Buffy bounced excitedly around her bedroom, stuffing clothes at random into a bag. "What else will I need?" she asked a grinning Dean, who lay sprawled across her bed.

He shrugged. "Hell if I know what kind of crap you girls like to carry around."

She stuck out her tongue playfully and went back to packing.

Dean leaned back against her pillow and continued to watch her, barely able to conceal his delight. He shouldn't be happy. Getting away from her probably would have been the best course of action. Not having her in his life every day would definitely have made it less confusing. But he just couldn't help himself. She was just there and then he was blurting it out and even when she gave him the opportunity to take it back he only ended up heading in the opposite direction. He'd never done anything like that before. Ever. Even Faith had just declared that she was joining him and Sam without asking first. But Buffy and Faith were different to other people. Especially Buffy.

"Hey guys?" Sam called as he knocked on Buffy's door before letting himself in. "Faith and I are gonna go pick up some supplies for the road. Anyone want anything?"

"Pick me up a sandwich."

Sam rolled his eyes at his brother and looked at Buffy questioningly. She shook her head in response.

"We're not going anywhere until we find my wallet, kiddo," Faith's voice sounded in the hallway.

"Oh!" Sam rooted through his pockets and pulled out her wallet. "I found it earlier," he explained, handing it over to her as she too entered Buffy's room.

"Where?"

Sam scratched his head. "Under Dean's car."

Faith frowned. What the hell had it been doing there? She knew she's had it this morning because she'd had to go out early to buy a new box of paracetamol after they'd ran out. Damn hangover. "What was it doing there?" She directed the question at Dean.

He shrugged and averted his gaze. "Must have picked it up by mistake."

Faith nodded. Sounded about right. "Oh. Alrighty then. Sam, you ready?"

He nodded and the two of them left, shouting a quick goodbye to Andrew who was sulking and slamming things in the kitchen. He ignored them and slammed down a pan extra hard.

A couple of minutes later, Buffy stopped what she was doing and turned to shoot Dean a puzzled glance.

"What?" he questioned.

She opened her mouth to speak, and then shut it again quickly. "Nothing," she replied, turning back to her bag.

"Okay." He didn't sound as if he believed her.

A second later, she was facing him once again.

"Jesus, woman. Spit it out."

"I was just wondering why?"

"Why what?"

"Why you asked me to come. It's not like we're best buds, you know? We spend most of our time fighting. Sometimes literally. With violence and stuff."

Dean flinched. Why did she have to ask questions which he really didn't have the answer to? "I told you before, we could use another fighter. Especially with my dad M.I.A."

His reply sounded far too casual to Buffy's ears, and she didn't really believe him. But she wouldn't question him further. Not if his answer was going to bring up a whole load of things that neither of them wanted to think about right now. "I guess," she conceded. "It's just out of the three of you, you'd be the last one I'd have expected to ask me."

"Well, you heard Faith. She wanted to but your watcher guy told her not to. And Sam's just too chicken."

Buffy flopped down on the bed next to him. "So you're the brave one?" she teased.

"Hell yeah!"

She snorted and was quiet for a moment. But it didn't last long. It never did with her, he'd learned. "Oh, we'll have to stop by at the school before we leave."

"Why? I thought you'd already spoke to Giles and got his permission?"

"Dean, I'm twenty four! I don't need his permission."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You called him and he said it was cool?"

"But I hafta say goodbye in person. Duh."

"You might be back in a week. Two tops, if you don't like it."

"But what if I do like it?"

"Then you'll stay longer?"

"Maybe."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Don't put words in my mouth," he growled, though his tone was playful. "I never know what I'm gonna end up saying when I'm around you."

Buffy didn't know how to reply to that, and in the end decided on the safer silence.

She turned on her side to face him, and studied his profile as he stared up at the ceiling. Why did her heart thump a little harder when she looked at him? Sure he was hot and everything, but so was Sam and he didn't make her feel...jumpy. Oh crap, this wasn't good.

What she needed was for him to make one of his smart assed comments so that she could go back to being eternally irritated by him. That would do it. But instead, he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and grinned cheekily when he realized she was watching him. When he smiled like that he looked so innocent and so...adorable. Her heart fluttered.

Yeah, this wasn't good at all.

"That'll be twenty five dollars ninety five, please," the bored looking, pink haired cashier told Faith.

"Sure." Faith dug her wallet out of her jacket pocket and opened it up to take out the cash. She paused and with a frown pulled out the photograph of her, Buffy, Andrew and Dawn. There were two fingerprints on it, in what looked and smelt suspiciously like car oil. What the hell? The only person who'd been playing around with cars recently was Dean. What was he doing messing around with the photo in her wallet for?

"Hello?" Cashier girl waved a hand in front of Faith's face. "Twenty five ninety five?"

"Yeah, yeah," Faith grumbled. Shrugging her shoulders to herself, she put the photo back inside the wallet. Whatever. She'd never understand that guy. He was probably just using it to jack off under his car 'cause he couldn't be bothered getting his lazy ass back up all those flights of stairs to her.

She handed the money over to the cashier and went in search of Sam.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Buffy asked once again as she and Giles leaned side by side on the desk in her office.

"Buffy," Giles turned to face her to get his point across. "you need this. You and I both know it. Now that the school is settled, Rana and myself are perfectly capable of handling things." He chuckled. "Rana is so capable that she could probably do it without me, even."

Buffy nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Boy were we lucky to find her."

"Just as long as you promise to come back should any more apocalyptic disasters arise." He smiled softly to show that he wasn't being entirely serious.

Buffy grinned and glanced down at her watch. "I'd better get going," she said. "Remember to call me if you need anything. Anytime. I don't even care if it's three in the morning. Call me."

Giles squeezed her arm affectionately before heading over to the door. He opened it up and started in surprise when faced with an equally flabbergasted looking Willow and Xander. Willow's hand was held up in a fist like she was about to knock.

"Hi," she said awkwardly. She glanced quickly at Xander, and then back at Buffy. "We were kinda hoping we could talk?"

"I'll leave you to it," Giles offered lightly, before slipping out of the room.

Willow and Xander entered, and the three stood in a circle for a long moment, each looking down at the ground in a strained silence.

"So what did you guys wanna talk about?" Buffy questioned once she could stand the stilted atmosphere no longer.

Xander and Willow looked at each other again, before Willow started. "Buff, we-"

"Buffy, we're sorry!" Xander blurted.

Buffy frowned in confusion. "What for?"

He looked sheepishly down at his fidgeting fingers. "Recently we uh...we were kind of made aware of some stuff. About you, and how we've kind of not been great with the friendship thing lately."

"And we got to talking and we realized that it was true. Way true. We've totally been neglecting the best friend rules. If there were best friend police we'd have been locked up in jail and had the key thrown away and we'd have had to share a windowless room with Bert and Bertha and oh, that wouldn't be fun 'cause Bert and Bertha don't like to play nice. And also, I don't think they wash everyday. What if they don't let us wash everyday? Then we'll start to smell and people won't wanna visit us and what if they don't even let us have visitors?!" Willow took a worried breath.

"Uh, Will?" Buffy chimed in. "You do know that you're not actually getting arrested, right?"

"Oh yeah." She looked relieved.

"What Willow's trying to say," Xander added. "Is that things between us have really sucked for a long time. And we know that it's kind of our fault."

Buffy sighed and leaned back against her desk. "Guys, I guess we...we've just drifted apart. It's no one's fault-"

"Don't go trying to make us feel better," Willow teased.

"I'm not. It's not like you guys haven't been here. We've all pitched in and worked together."

"Yeah, but that's with the slaying stuff. We're talking about the friendship stuff."

Buffy rubbed her face with her hands. She didn't know what to say. Why did they have to have this revelationnow, just as she was leaving. She dropped her hands. "I've really missed you guys." Her voice was a little croaky.

Xander and Willow immediately stepped forwards and the three met in a tight hug. Buffy's eyes filled with tears and when they pulled back, she saw the same in Willow's.

"I can't believe you're really leaving. I'm gonna miss you," Willow said with a sniff. "I really wish we had more time to talk about this. I hate that we have to be so quick."

Buffy nodded. "Me too."

"Maybe when you get back the three of us can do something," Xander suggested. "A movie night? Like the old days?"

"I'd like that."

He gave her a watery smile. "You'd better get going before I start crying too. We both know Willow would never let me live it down."

"Besides," Willow inputted with an amused smile. "Dean's getting impatient."

The three looked at each other for a moment more, before zipping forward and yanking each other into another bone crushing hug.

Once outside the school, Buffy stopped and took a long breath of the cool, refreshing air, trying to calm her swirly emotions before heading out.

She looked down the steps to where the Impala was parked. Dean was leaning against the hood, his arms crossed and his foot tapping against the floor impatiently. Faith was spinning a pair of Arnis sticks while pretending to fight with them and Sam was sat on the curb, his head bowed over his laptop.

Buffy smiled. This was the right thing to do. And she couldn't wait to get out there.

She skipped down the steps and Dean glanced up as he heard her approach. "Finally," he huffed. "We all happy to shoot?"

"Yep." She smiled so delightedly that he couldn't possibly stay mad at her, and he found himself shooting a goofy grin right back at her.

"Right then, let's-"

"Wait!" a voice called out from the top of the stone steps.

Dean rolled his eyes. "What now?"

Andrew sprinted down the steps and came to a panting halt in front of Buffy. He gripped on to her arms. "I'm sorry I was such a meany earlier," he said. He stuck out his bottom lip and his eyes widened. "But you're really leaving me?" His voice was so childlike that Buffy just wanted to hug him to her chest and sing him a lullaby. She'd even considered taking him with them, but she knew he had his next set of Watcher's Exams in two weeks and he needed to study if he actually wanted to pass this time.

"Hey, don't worry Andy," Dean consoled him, clapping the smaller man on the back. "She won't be gone long. Besides, Buffy needs you to do something really important for her while she's gone."

"What's that?"

Dean lowered his head so that he could look Andrew in the eyes. "She needs you to be strong and protect the apartment."

Andrew looked up at Dean, idolization shining in his eyes. "I know you're only saying that to make me feel better but I'm just so overwhelmed by your big hazel eyes and your well defined arm muscles that I'm going to let it slide."

Dean coughed and stepped away so quickly that he almost tripped over his own feet. "Right...we're going...now. Buffy, say goodbye to Andrew. Now."

Smirking, Buffy hugged Andrew and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll be back before you know it," Buffy reassured him. "And you could always come and visit."

He nodded and bid goodbye to the rest of the gang before heading back up the steps towards the school. Buffy watched him all all the way until he reached the doors and disappeared inside. When she turned back around, Dean was staring at her with a dumbstruck expression.

"Dude," he said. "he is not coming to visit." And then he climbed in the car and slammed the door behind him.

Buffy laughed loudly as she walked over to the back of the car.

Faith came to stand beside her, a twinkle in her eye and an and a daring grin on her lips. She held her outstretched hand to Buffy. "You ready girlfriend?" she asked.

Buffy looked down at the the offered hand, hesitating only a second before taking it into her own. "Oh yeah," she replied. "I am so ready."