*WOW I actually finished this chapter! I hit such a block with it (and wrote a HamBurr three-shot to try and get back in the groove- /works/7575166- which might be why there's so much Burr in this chapter hmmm) but I DID IT!
YAY!
Here we go!*
John POV
Alex looked surprised as he looked up at John, eyes going wide, and he stuttered slightly over his reply.
"I- I'm good, thanks. You?" There was still a blush high on his cheeks- oh, that was adorable- and John had to take a few seconds reminding himself that he had barged uninvited into this conversation, making tact a little lacking already- and that Alex had a girlfriend.
"I'm doing great." he said, smiling at him. "A little tired- Herc and Lafayette kept me up half the night with their racket."
"Oh- are you talking to them again? Or were they with each other?" Alex asked, seeming interested.
"Talking to me- and yeah, I figured it was about time I let it go." John shrugged, leaning one elbow on the table. He looked pretty nonchalant, he hoped, despite the fact that he was having to try very hard to keep his focus on the conversation at hand, rather than the soft sunlight on Alex's skin. The arch of his nose cast a wonky shadow across his cheek, just under his eye- did he know that? John, he's waiting- talk. He coughed, blinking back into focus "But- uh- that meant they tried to cram a week of hanging out into one evening. The number of YouTube videos they showed me- I swear- and I thought that John Cena meme died!" Alex chuckled at that, a smile slipping onto his face- his smile was wonky too, and it made the shadows on his face twist funny.
"I think people are bringing it back ironically." he said, seeming amused. John couldn't help smiling back- the man's emotions were infectious. "I'm glad to hear you guys are back on good terms" Alex continued. "I was kind of worried that I'd have to play carrier pigeon on Friday." Carrier pigeon? What an odd expression.
"Yeah, well, they're basically my only friends besides Angelica, so I'm pretty glad to have them back too." Alex's face fell a little- Oh, good job John, now he thinks you're a loser- and he frowned, screwing up his nose.
"Wait, what? How could a guy like you only have a few friends?" Taken aback, John stared at the open confusion on Alex's face.
"What?"
"I mean, you're really cool- you seem so confident, and you're funny, and nice- people must be lining up around the block to be your friend! I mean…" he trailed off, dropping his gaze. "I think you're pretty cool…"
John found himself unable to reply. Caught between two extremely distracting thoughts- the fact that Alex was blushing furiously, which made his skin glow and his whole face scrunch up adorably, plus an endless mantra that sounded an awful lot like AlexthinksimcoolAlexthinksimcoolAlexthinks- he was pretty sure his brain was short-circuiting. His frozen face apparently led Alex to think he was creeped out, however, because he cringed and started to ramble an excuse, twisting his hands together so fast that John couldn't tell which was which.
"Shit, I'm sorry, that was way out of line, I mean I only just met you and I shouldn't have said something like that, god, you must think I'm really weird, I only meant, shit, that you're- um-"
"Alex." John cut him off, finally finding his voice, "I'm not creeped out." The other man stopped babbling to stare at him, and John felt his own face flush slightly under his gaze.
"Y- You're not?"
"I'm not. That's… really flattering, actually."
"Oh." Alex stopped twisting his hands, blushing even harder. John felt his leg start to bounce under the table. "Right."
They sat with burning faces for a few seconds, but then- thank god- a customer walked in. She looked in confusion at the empty counter until John got up hurriedly and went to stand behind it- giving her an apologetic smile, and then stepped up to the counter.
"What can I get for you today?" John asked her, glad of a reason to distract himself from Alex. The woman looked up at the menu, frowned, and then smiled warmly.
"What would you recommend?" Her voice was deep and throaty, and her speech revealed a gold tooth in the corner of her mouth. Interesting, John thought.
"Hmm… You look like a salted caramel frappuccino kind of person." he decided. The woman beamed.
"That sounds wonderful!"
"Alright then- coming up!"
He busied himself with the order, mixing, frothing, pouring, and was extremely aware of Alex watching him from his table. When he glanced over, though, the man looked away abruptly, apparently not wanting to be caught. John continued looking, however. Alex was chewing on a strand of hair that had escaped from his bun, swinging one of his legs and tapping the table with his fingernails in a repeating pattern. Could he never sit still? He was like a hummingbird, John thought- always twitching, flapping, moving.
As he passed the woman's drink over to her and counted her change, she gave him a knowing smirk and glanced from him to Alex.
"Thanks- I'll let you get back to your date." she whispered, and John felt his throat seize up.
"Oh- we're just- I- we're not dating" he stammered. He, too, kept his voice low- please, please, let Alex be deaf or something, let him not hear, please-
The woman raised an eyebrow.
"Maybe not yet." She winked as she left. John could have screamed.
He looked anxiously at Alex for some reaction, but he was still idly tapping on the table, and didn't seem to have heard. Thank goodness. When Alex looked up at him, he smiled and went to leave the bar, but Alex held up his hand.
"Wait" he called, and, grabbing his bag, he stood and walked quickly to the table directly next to the counter. "I'll just come to you, so you don't have to get up and down. That is-" he flushed, looking slightly nervous again. "-if you'd like to keep talking to me- I don't mind if you don't, really, I just thought- but if you'd rather I-"
"Alex. I want to talk to you." God, that blush was back, and he was fiddling with his hoodie strings. This man was going to be the death of him.
"Oh. Ok." Alex sat down, leaning on the table.
"You want a drink?" John asked him, but he shook his head.
"No, I'm good, thanks. How did you know what that lady would like?" John shrugged.
"Dumb luck. Angelica can do this freaky thing where she gets people to order off-menu, and makes them, like, their ideal drink, though- it's creepy." Alex grinned.
"Yeah, she did it to me! I still don't know what it was, though- I'll have to ask her."
John cursed himself- of course Alex knows Angelica, he's dating her sister, you idiot- but was distracted yet again as Alex started biting his fingernails.
What the fuck. Why was that interesting? It was gross, what the hell was wrong with him- why couldn't he take his eyes off Alex's mouth?
"Oh, sorry." Alex stopped and clasped his hands together firmly, looking guilty. "I know it's kind of disgusting- I just do it without thinking."
John was about to reply when his phone buzzed loudly, making them both jump. He pulled it out and groaned.
From: Asshole™
party 2nite so dont come back till morning
"Like I'd want to anyway" John muttered.
"Huh?"
"Oh, just my asshole roommate throwing a party at our place and warning me not to show up." he said, tucking his phone away. "The usual."
"Wait- that's Thomas Jefferson, right?" John started in surprise.
"Yeah- how did you-"
"He's in my political science class." Alex shrugged. "I think Herc mentioned you were roommates."
"Oh. You like him?" Alex looked up with disgust on his face.
"What do you take me for, John, an idiot?"
"Hey, hey, just asking." he hesitated. "So that's a no?"
"HELL YES it's a no!" Alex half-yelled, expression suddenly furious- how could the guy fit so much emotion into his body? "I tell you, I'm pretty sure he's made it his personal mission in life to piss me off at every opportunity. And he's so small minded- seriously- the other day, we were discussing the refugee crisis in class and the shit he said, man, I had to physically restrain myself so I didn't jump over the desk and break his jaw!"
"Now there's something I'd have liked to see." John smirked. "Why didn't you?"
"I've already got a record. Much more and they'd probably kick me out." he shrugged. "I had to settle for completely destroying his ignorant stance in debate. The look on his face…" Alex closed his eyes, apparently revisiting the happy memory. John chuckled.
"You should try living with him." he said. "He's such a neat-freak, and he complains about everything I do- like 'Laurens, when I told you to change that lightbulb, I meant actually do it properly, not this half-ass job'" Alex giggled- giggled- at his impression, and then his eyes lit up with mischief.
"You got any good dirt?" he asked slyly "Any embarrassing stories?"
John cracked his knuckles and smirked.
"Oh, do I ever…"
The next hour was spent gleefully shit-talking Thomas Jefferson, plus a few other assholes they knew- sharing stories and secrets that had them both in stitches. Alex laughed unabashedly- loud and long and breathless, so different from his nervous, stumbling speech. It made his shoulders shake and his eyes screw up and John's heart was ready to beat out of his chest as he watched him, feeling a little constricted at being so close and conversational with someone so incredible. So fascinating. He was mentally storing up the picture of Alex's face- the way it looked and moved as he laughed, as he talked, the adorable blush that kept appearing there locked up somewhere in his brain. He was determined to capture it later. The doodles he had in his bag had got steadily better as he practiced- but they were still just flowing outlines. He needed to be able to draw Alex. He couldn't think of a non-creepy way of asking for a photograph, so tried his best to observe his face while they talked.
Unfortunately, it was hard to look at him closely for long, because Alex had apparently missed an important memo on appropriate eye contact. Most people would glance around your face as you were talking, but look at other things as well- at their hands, or other people in the area- but Alex never looked away. He never broke eye contact, not even once, while John was talking, those wide, dark eyes remaining fixed on his own in a way that made the back of his neck prickle. So John had to do that part for both of them- busying himself with making someone's drink, looking at his own hands when he spoke, so that they weren't staring into each other's eyes the whole time. That would have been uncomfortable.
Sadly, one of John's particularly resentful tirades about Jefferson had to be cut short when Madison arrived. James was Thomas' best friend- no one ever knew why he hung out with that dick- but he was actually a really nice guy, so John felt uncomfortable insulting Jefferson in front of him. James gave him a small smile as he entered, and he returned it with a wave.
"James, hi!"
"Hey, John."
John passed him the second apron they had from behind the bar and he tied it round his waist as he crossed over to them. John noticed Alex looking curiously at Madison, and quickly introduced them.
"Alex, this is James. James, Alex."
"Nice to meet you, Alex." James smiled and shook Alex's hand over the counter.
"You too."
"Wait-" James said, frowning. "Not Alex Hamilton?"
"Yes, actually. How did you know my name?" Alex asked in surprise, and was met with a short chuckle.
"Thomas won't shut up about you." James said. "He comes back from debate and rants for like three hours about 'Motherfucking Hamilton' and his 'Stupid fucking voice'. Sounds like you give him a piece of your mind on the regular- which I'm not discouraging, by the way. Someone's got to talk some sense into him sometime."
"Well, I'm perfectly willing to be that person." Alex replied, smiling. He pulled out his phone, checked the time, and then looked back up at John. "I'd better head off- got some shit to do." John tried to hide his disappointment.
"Sure, it was nice talking to you." And staring at you.
"You too!" He picked up his bag, stood, and then hesitated. "Could- uh…" He was blushing again, eyes still fixed on John's. "Could I…"
"Could you…?" John raised his eyebrows expectantly.
"Could I get your number?" Alex blurted out. He looked positively terrified once he'd said it, looking at John anxiously, as if he thought he might laugh at him. John felt a fondness well in his chest- not for the first time- and pulled out his phone.
"Of course! Here, give me yours. I can't remember my own number." At Alex's eye roll, he flushed defensively. "Hey, it's not like I ever have to call myself…"
"Guess not." John passed over his phone and waited as Alex punched his number into it, saving it as Alex and then giving it back. Just as he was about to leave, an idea suddenly popped into John's head.
"Hey- Alex!" he called, and the man looked around.
"Yeah?"
"Contact photo?" He held up his phone.
"Oh- sure!" Alex walked back over, and John held up his phone to take the picture. He smiled his wonky smile- perfect- and did an awkward sort of jazz-hands that made John snort.
"Thanks." he said when he'd got it.
"No problem! I'll see you on Friday, then?"
"Yeah, Friday. Don't dress fancy, we're just going to hit a bar." Alex snorted.
"John, I don't think I have the ability to dress fancy." He gestured to his hoodie and ripped jeans.
"Fair enough. See you then, then." He waved to Alex as he headed for the door. "Oh, and feel free to bring… Lizzie, was it?" Alex frowned, confused, then seemed to understand.
"Oh, Eliza? Yeah, I'll ask her. See you!"
"Bye!"
John watched Alex go with an odd feeling in his stomach. Why had he said that? Why had he invited him to bring his girlfriend? He found himself hoping that she didn't come. Being a third wheel was bad enough, and adding an extra couple would surely make it worse…
But what the hell. He'd talked to Alex for almost an hour- without saying anything too weird- and now he had a picture reference to draw him, not to mention his number to boot. Pretty successful, if you asked him.
"Hey- James?" Madison looked up.
"Hmm?"
"Have you got any paper? Or, like, anything else I could draw on?"
"I think so, let me look. Forgot your sketchbook?"
"Yeah."
That wasn't entirely true- his sketchbook was in the store cupboard as usual- but John still didn't feel good about drawing Alex in it. He didn't know why. He watched gratefully as James rummaged in his bag and pulled out a blank-paged exercise book. He was taking art classes, and he and John had sort of bonded over it; Madison had been in awe of John's abilities at first, which John had hated, but as he improved and they learned to help each other, he was becoming much more confident in himself and the quality of his own work- which John thought was amazing. Their styles were very different- James did a lot of still life: photographic scenes of empty tables or cabinets, a stack of coffee cups, a car: all in graphite pencil, while John used anything that came to hand to try and capture the movement and feel of people on paper. It made for interesting conversation.
James tore a few pages out of the middle of the book and passed them over, while John pulled out his pencil case and set it on the counter between them. Madison smiled at him as they both pulled up small stools and set to work side by side. It was their routine, when they shared a shift, drawing at the counter and taking turns with the customers so they could both practice, and they'd often compare and give pointers when they'd finished. John took out his phone and pulled up the photo he'd taken of Alex- now that he had a reference, he should be able to get his facial features right. He took a breath, and started.
Alex POV
Alex sat at his desk, not doing his essay, his mind buzzing over what had happened that afternoon. John Laurens had talked to him- willingly- for almost an hour, despite his stuttering and awkwardness, and he'd even let Alex give him his number. Sure, he wasn't necessarily ever going to use it but, still, it was something. And John had been just as fun to talk to as Alex could have hoped- none of the cute guy but can't understand three syllable words bullshit he'd had to get used to, which made him even more attractive, if that was possible. Alex had been unable to stop staring at him, at his bright eyes and the little string of freckles that traced a line right above his eyebrow. He had flushed when Alex complimented him- not something Alex had expected, since John seemed so confident and at ease- and the red tint had somehow made his freckles even prettier, leaving Alex to stare silently and forget what he was saying. The stories he'd told about Jefferson were absolutely priceless- and he'd laughed at Alex's too, a smooth, rolling sound that might as well have been music to Alexander's ears. He was utterly hopeless, he knew, sitting here pining over a guy he had no chance with- and not even doing the work that he needed to.
His phone buzzed and he picked it up before groaning inwardly at the message displayed there.
From: Eliiiiiiiza:
Soooo, how'd it go? ;))
For a few seconds, he debated whether or not to reply, but eventually decided that that little Read notification would probably betray him, and no answer would just lead her to make assumptions. Even more assumptions.
To: Eliiiiiiiza:
fine, we talked shit about jefferson, i was awkward, probably scared him off
From: Eliiiiiiiza:
:( Honestly Alex, you screw everything up
To: Eliiiiiiiza:
dont i no it…. i did give him my number tho
From: Eliiiiiiiza:
And he took it?
To: Eliiiiiiiza:
so surprised
To: Eliiiiiiiza:
but yes. so i guess thats something
From: Eliiiiiiiza:
WAY TO GO! :) :) :D :) ;)
To: Eliiiiiiiza:
does it rlly need that many smileys
From: Eliiiiiiiza:
Of course it does! You've been single for EVEERR Alex- it's about damn time you got some action. Hooking up with strangers is fine, yeah, but it'd be good to see you with a partner at last.
Alex felt his stomach squirm slightly as he read the last message. He hadn't hooked up with that many people- and not for over a year, but he'd made a reputation in his later years of high school for having a lot of casual sex. He was glad it hadn't followed him to college- so far.
To : Eliiiiiiiza:
1st off i never even hooked up with that many ppl, 2nd off since when does getting a cute guys number count as getting action
Those familiar little dots appeared on the screen- showing Eliza was typing- and he watched as they bounced steadily for a considerable amount of time. Oh god, she was writing him an essay. After almost a minute, Alex slightly scared of whatever he was about to receive, they stopped. And vanished. There was a couple of seconds' pause, then-
From: Eliiiiiiiza:
Touché.
To: Eliiiiiiiza:
gtg, got an essay to do.
From: Eliiiiiiiza:
Kk, good luck! :* Love you 3
To: Eliiiiiiiza:
Love you 333
He replaced his phone and picked up his notes at last. As always, the pages were crumpled and close to falling apart, sprawling writing showing through on both sides- and he could barely read it in places. Groaning and cursing his past self, he began trying to decipher the "notes" he'd made, growing increasingly frustrated as the minutes passed. How could he not read what he, himself had written? Burr would know what to write. Burr would have written decent notes in the first place. Wait- Burr. Lafayette had given him his number, how could he have forgotten? Maybe Burr would help him out! He pulled out his phone again and sent a text.
To: Burr Sirr
SIR!
The reply came through almost immediately.
From: Burr Sirr
Alexander? How did you get this number?
To: Burr Sirr
laf gave it 2 me. i was hoping u could help me out? my notes from last polisci r legit irredeemable
To: Burr Sirr
**indecipherable
To: Burr Sirr:
but the 1st 1 too
From: Burr Sirr
Sure, here are mine.
From: Burr Sirr
Attachment: 1 image
From: Burr Sirr
You mentioned meeting up to discuss a better technique for you; would you still like to do that? I am free after PoliSci tomorrow, if you would.
After taking a second to accept the fact that Burr had just used a semi-colon in a text message, Alexander hastened to reply.
To: Burr Sirr
OMG thank you thank you so muc LIFE SAVER! and id definitely still like to meet up- i need it.
To: Burr Sirr
4 comparison here are MY notes.
To: Burr Sirr
Attachment: 1 image
From: Burr Sirr
What the hell, Alexander? I'm pretty sure those aren't actual words. You definitely need help. We can talk in the library after class tomorrow. I'll see you then?
To: Burr Sirr
YES DEFINITELY. IOU big time!
From: Burr Sirr
No problem. I'm glad to be of assistance. See you tomorrow.
To: Burr Sirr
See u 2morrow, mister burr sir :)
He didn't get a reply. Smiling nonetheless, he pulled up the picture of the notes Burr had sent him, read them through quickly, and set to work. Somehow, it was suddenly a lot easier.
The next day, Alexander followed Burr to the library after their class, trailing a little behind the man's long strides. How could he walk so fast when he barely had an inch on him? The library was pretty empty, save for a few exhausted-looking students, flipping fruitlessly through their thick textbooks, and a couple making out between the shelves. Burr sat down at a table near the window and gestured for Alex to do the same, pulling out his own textbook and setting it on the desk in front of him. Alex complied with some trepidation, noticing Burr wince as he shifted his bag's position.
The man didn't look at all well. He had been extremely quiet all through class- well, quieter than he had been on Monday, at least. Alex reminded himself that he'd only know Aaron for a few days, and therefore couldn't really judge his character, but he really did seem overly closed-off. Alex couldn't help worrying that it was his fault, having pried into his business the day before. Guiltily, he found himself staring at the marks on his face again. The bruising didn't seem to be any worse than before, he noticed with relief, but it still looked painful.
"Right." Burr said quietly, opening up the textbook. Confused, Alex looked down at it- it was a 7th grade biology resource.
"Why have you…"
"It's just something to practise with." Burr explained. He pulled out a pen and lined paper, placed them in front of Alex, and then pointed to the top paragraph on the page. "I want you to summarise that paragraph for me." he said.
Alex took the pen apprehensively and looked up at Aaron, trying to figure out what he was doing. Was this some kind of test? Aaron was looking at him expectantly, so he returned his gaze to the text at hand, and started to do as Burr had asked. After two sentences, Aaron stopped him.
"Stop, stop, Alex, I said summarise, not make it longer; you've expanded the first sentence into two, see."
"I have?"
"Yes." Burr rubbed his forehead with a thumb and forefinger, apparently searching for a way of explaining. "Okay." he began, shifting a little closer to read over Alex's shoulder. "First, before you write anything, read through the whole paragraph. To be safe, read it a few times. Then, pick out the main points. From what I can see, there are two in this one- that means you should end up with two sentences, Alex, two sentences in total." Alex stared down at the paper. There was no way he could get that paragraph down to two sentences. "If it helps," Aaron suggested, noticing his reluctance. "You could get it down to, say, six sentences, and then summarise those."
"Yeah, that might work better…" Alex conceded, though he was still unsure. Aaron pushed the book towards him, smiling kindly, if tiredly.
"Just give it a try. I'm here to help you, not to judge you, remember?" Alex hesitated. He really needed this help.
"Alright."
Alex set to work, reading the paragraph through a few times before trying to focus in on the key information. The trouble was, everything was key information to Alex. The way he saw it, everything on that page was equally important, equally true, and equally relevant. How could one piece of information be more important than another when both were true? It just didn't make sense. He frowned, and chewed the pen in concentration.
Eventually, after a while of just staring, he started to understand what Aaron meant. Okay, so maybe the fact that genetics are passed down from parent to child was a little more 'key' than how green is the least common eye colour. Right. He could do this.
In the end, he got it down to four sentences. He figured that was a good effort, for his first try.
"Hey, Aaron, how's this?" Burr didn't answer. "Aaron?" Alexander looked around and was surprised to see that Aaron was face-down on the desk, his head in the crook of his arm, fast asleep. Alex tapped his shoulder lightly, but he didn't stir.
"Hey, Aaron…" he muttered, poking his arm a little harder. "Aaron, wake up…" There was still no response. Aaron was snoring slightly, completely out cold. He must have been exhausted… but from what? Perhaps a job with late hours? Insomnia? Well, whatever the reason, he couldn't just sleep here. Alex gripped his shoulder more firmly and shook him, hissing "Aaron, wake up!"
Burr jolted awake and flinched away from him with a yelp, throwing his arms up over his head and curling in on himself, his eyes tight shut. Shocked, Alex pulled back his hand.
"A- Aaron?" The man was breathing hard, slowly lowering his hands. "Aaron, are you…?"
"I'm fine." Burr muttered quickly. He swallowed, took a steadying breath, and looked up at Alex. His eyes were darkly rimmed- something Alex had noticed before- and bloodshot, but unwavering. "I'm alright, it's nothing."
"Are you sure- you look-"
"I said I'm fine." he snapped. Then he seemed to remember himself, sagging slightly and rubbing his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm just- I'm tired. Got a lot… I've been… Where- where were we?"
"Aaron, I think you should get home, get some sleep." Alex said, reaching out a hand to take his arm. Aaron recoiled from his touch.
"No, no- I'm fine, how are you doing, let me see-" he insisted, but Alex pulled the paper away from him.
"Really, Aaron. I've got it- I can practice what you told me by myself, and show you tomorrow. You should get some rest- you obviously need it, don't try to lie." for Aaron had opened his mouth to protest, blinking furiously as if to keep himself awake. "Really, Aaron. Go home?" Burr hesitated for a second, then moved to pick up his bag.
"Yeah… O- Okay." he murmured. Alex moved to pass him his text book, but he shook his head. "No, you keep it. Practise."
"Oh. Thanks." Aaron shouldered his bag and gave Alexander a small smile as he left. Alex watched him go, struck a little dumb by the abrupt change of course- Burr had seemed… almost frightened of him. Or, frightened of something, anyway. What if… but no, that was his business.
Just as Aaron reached the doors, Alex remembered something.
"Hey!" he called, grabbing his own bag and running after him. Aaron turned, looking apprehensive.
"Yes?"
"I- I hope you're feeling better soon, Mister Burr- Sir."
Most people would have missed the light that flicked on in Burr's eyes when he said it, but not Alexander. He couldn't help feeling a little proud as he watched him go, if decidedly nauseas at the fear that had blanched his face hardly a minute before. Whatever had caused that, it was big. He only hoped Burr could handle it.
To: Burr Sirr
hope you sleep well, Sir. Sweet dreams.
*Aaaand I'm going to bed.
Thanks for reading! Please comment if you can spare a second- I really want to talk to you guys! Catch you in the next chapter!
Love you!*
