*WELL GUESS WHAT I FINALLY F*CKING FINISHED IT!
This chapter has taken me AGES, but I DID IT- and it's rlly long so I guess it's kinda worth it? I hope?
ANyway, I think it turned out alright... enjoy!*
Alex POV
As Friday rolled around, Alex began to feel distinctly nervous at the prospect of hanging out with John and his friends. He was awkward at the best of times, and tried to avoid most social gatherings- unless he had someone like Eliza with him to hide in a corner with and talk. It had always been like that; he just wasn't interested in getting wasted and shouting and making a fool of himself like every other person his age seemed to be desperate to do. Honestly, his idea of a good time was just sitting and talking, getting to know someone, discussing things they were passionate about- like he'd been doing with John on Tuesday. The fact that it was John probably didn't hurt, if he was perfectly honest, but that didn't make it less true. 'Hitting a bar' wasn't really up his alley- and hanging with John would almost certainly make matters worse in this kind of situation.
Laf and Herc were another matter entirely. There was no telling what those two would do, especially under the influence of alcohol, not to mention the fact that they knew about, or at least suspected, his interest in John. Even from the short time he'd known them, they seemed like the 'locking people in a closet together' type- and anything like that would make his friendship with John even more awkward.
He knew he was overanalysing, but the thoughts buzzed around his head for all of Thursday, during which he attempted to find Burr and discuss his notes with him, but failed, and grew even worse as Friday evening approached. This led to Aaron finding him, in their political science lecture on Friday afternoon, scratching a repeating pattern into the desk with his fingernail and chewing on his bottom lip, almost overcome with nerves.
Aaron himself looked a little better than he had done on Wednesday. He seemed to have gotten some sleep, at least, and the bruising around his eye was decidedly blue, no longer bloody, and looked to be healing. Alex didn't bring it up.
"Hey, Mr Burr, Sir."
"Hi. Are you alright, Alexander?"
"Yes."
"That's a lie." Aaron responded evenly. Alex opened his mouth to point out that Burr could hardly talk, but caught himself in time- that wasn't fair. Instead, he just put his head on the desk and groaned.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Alright."
He heard the 'thump' of Aaron putting his books down next to his head and the scrape of his chair as he sat down. They sat in silence for a few seconds.
"Is it about school?"
"No."
"Family?"
"Don't have one."
"Is that a no?"
"Yes."
He swung his legs a little in a steady rhythm, sighing. "It's… I'm meeting some friends this evening."
"Hmm?" Aaron said nothing further, apparently waiting for him to continue. Alex hesitated. He could tell Aaron, right? Aaron was a friend.
"I'm bisexual."
"Cool. Me too." Aaron shrugged. "Are you worried about telling them?"
"Huh? No- they already know. It's just… I really like one of them. Like, romantically?"
"Ah. That sucks."
A few seconds passed.
"So it's a guy? I'm assuming that's what the bi confession was about."
"Yeah."
"Is he straight?"
"No…"
"Then what's the problem?"
Alex raised his head from the desk to frown at Burr, who raised his eyebrows, unimpressed.
"The problem, Aaron, is that I'm cripplingly awkward and am going to make a fool of myself."
"You don't know that."
"Yes I do."
"Do you want me to agree with you?"
"…no."
"Alex, listen." Aaron turned in his seat to face him better. "If he likes you, he likes you. Too many people use tricks and shit to try and make people notice them, but that's kind of fake, don't you think? If he likes you, it should be for you, not for some made-up version of yourself that you put on when he's around." Alex stared at him.
"Shit, man, that was deep." Aaron shrugged.
"What can I say, I'm a genius."
"Though… that's not really what I'm worried about." Alex put his chin in his hands, frowning. "I know he won't like me romantically- don't try to correct me- I'm just worried that I'll do something dumb because of how much I like him, and then he won't want to be around me at all. Like, even as a friend." Aaron seemed to ponder for a few moments, but as he opened his mouth to reply, Washington entered and the room fell into silence. It would have to wait, then.
Through the lecture, Alex took notes as best he could, trying to remember the stuff Aaron had told him about summarising, and thought he did a bit better then before. Hey, even the writing was just about legible. At the end, he showed it to Aaron, who looked it over.
"Well, it's an improvement." he allowed. Well, at least he was honest. As they left, side by side, he smiled wryly. "I'll send you mine."
"Thanks."
"And good luck this evening. Just be yourself."
"But myself is a shitty person!"
"Tough!"
Alex laughed a little as he watched Burr's retreating face. Just before he turned the corner, he shouted after him.
"Sir!" Aaron turned.
"What?"
"I just had to say it!"
Burr chuckled and shook his head, before carrying on his way.
Alex thought about his advice. Burr was right, of course. It was better for John to dislike him than to like him for a personality that he was faking. Alex was nothing if not honest… but he really wanted John to like him. He tried to tell himself that he should be excited to spend time with John again- and he was- but the terror of messing up and doing something stupid overruled it. He didn't even know what he was like when he got drunk, the only times he'd done so having been with Eliza- and neither had remembered much of anything the next morning. Getting really drunk was not his plan tonight, therefore. His intention was to stay fairly sober and be around to help any of the others if they got plastered; that, at least, he had more than enough experience in. Holding strangers' hair back after being dragged to a high-school party because 'everyone's going' had become something of a common occurrence in his late teens.
That's what he was expecting, therefore, as he approached the Grind Stone at 6:55 that evening. Dressed in a worn shirt, jacket and old jeans- baggy, like everything he wore- he pushed through the door, looking around for John. He wasn't behind the counter; instead, Alex received a small smile and wave from the other barista he'd met, James Madison. James had a pencil in his hand and a notebook open in front of him- he must be drawing to pass the time; the place was pretty empty.
"You're drawing?" he asked, a little stupidly.
"Yeah." Madison replied, smiling. "I've been learning. You want to see?"
"Sure, if you don't mind." James shook his head and turned the picture around so that it was the right way up, and Alex approached the bar. Suddenly, John appeared from behind it, right in front of him, and he yelped in shock.
"John!"
"Alex, hi!" he said brightly. "I was just tying my shoelace!" He frowned at Alex for a second and scratched at the back of his neck. "Sorry… are you alright?" He sounded generally concerned, and Alex, who had leaped backwards about a foot with his arms thrown out, lowered them gingerly. His heart was still beating hard, though more out of John having appeared a few inches from his face than the actual shock.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm cool!" he said, too fast. "Just- uh- made me jump, that's all."
"I'll say. Those are some reflexes you've got there, man." John quirked an eyebrow, looking amused, and Alex's heart skipped a beat. Well, so much for acting natural.
"Th-Thanks…" Turning away from John to collect himself, he looked instead at Madison's drawing- and practically did a double-take. "Holy shit." he muttered, eyes widening as he took a step closer to see it more clearly. It was an inked-in copy of the interior of the Grind Stone, presumably the view James had from his place at the bar- and it looked like a photograph. "Holy shit." he repeated, staring.
"It's not that good…" Madison muttered, sounding embarrassed, but pleased.
"Yes it is." John retorted from next to him. "I swear, this guy, he never believes that his drawings are good- like, I tell him every fucking day and he still doesn't think he's talented. You tell him, Alex, maybe he'll trust you."
"James." Alex said solemnly, looking up at the taller man with an expression of absolute sincerity. "That is fucking incredible. I mean it." Madison bit back a chuckle at the awe-struck look on his face.
"I don't know about incredible, Hamilton, but thanks. It means a lot." He nudged John with his elbow. "John's drawings are better, though, you should see them."
"They- they're not, James." John groaned, turning bright red. For some reason, he was glaring at the man, as if telling him to shut up. "It's just a different style." Madison shrugged one shoulder, as if to say 'yeah right.'
"C'mon, man, that shit looks like a photograph! I could never draw that!"
"Why don't you show Alex one of your drawings, John- then he can decide."
John hesitated for a second, then said "Fine." and ducked behind the counter again. He rummaged in his bag, pulling out a large sketchbook, and flipped open a page to show a light, scrappy outline of someone Alex recognised immediately to be Angelica. She was laughing, her head thrown back, a few curls bouncing out of her ponytail, eyes closed. Alex looked from Madison's drawing to James'. John was right- they were really too different to compare.
He was about to say so when the door tinkled behind him and Herc and Laf burst in, laughing at some unknown joke and pushing each other. The three men at the bar looked around in time to see Lafayette lace his fingers with Herc's, still laughing, and Herc turn tomato-red in an instant. John shot Alex a knowing look, and he grinned in response. So he had been right about the tension between the two friends.
"Alex, my man!" Herc said, a little too loudly, breaking away from Lafayette and coming over to the bar. "You good to go?"
"'course." Alex replied. He smirked slightly as he saw the look of slight disappointment on Laf's face. "If John is."
"Sure, I'm good."
"Fantastique! We shall be off, then!" Lafayette exclaimed, also rather more loudly than usual. John climbed over the counter, tucking the sketchbook back into his bag. He slung it over his shoulder, then hesitated, turning back to James.
"Hey, could you take my bag? Just hide it in the store cupboard or something, I'll probably lose it if I take it with me."
"Sure." Madison took the bag, putting it behind the bar again. "Bye, you guys. Have fun, make questionable choices."
"You know us." Herc grinned, heading for the door again. "See you, Madison."
"See you." They all nodded goodbyes to James and left, Alex following at the back of the group.
They walked in a messy sort of huddle, Hercules complaining to no one in particular about an asshole client he'd had to deal with that morning and John teasing Lafayette about having forgotten the word 'iron' when talking to a shop keeper. He had called it 'the hot shirt-press'. The wind was picking up, and Alex shivered against the cold, hunching his shoulders and speeding up his walking pace- he was a little worried that he'd fall behind. Damn his short legs. Hercules seemed to notice his discomfort, because he pulled off his jacket and threw it over Alex's shoulders, despite the smaller man's protests.
"Man, dude,'s fine." he assured him, patting his head lightly. "I'm insulated, see?" He gestured to his own ample frame, pinching some fat away from his stomach. Alex was about to point out that he himself was far better- as he put it- insulated, but Herc shushed him, putting a large finger to Alex's lips. "Dude, 's fine, 'kay?" John sniggered from behind him.
"Geez, Herc, are you drunk already?"
"Hey, 's not my fault if Laf had beers in his car." he whined. Lafayette poked him in the arm, looking annoyed.
"Mon ami, I told you not to tell him that!"
"Oh yeah?" Herc retorted, grinning playfully. "What're you gonna do 'bout it?" Lafayette elbowed him, and Herc responded by grabbing his arm and tickling his sides, making him shriek and speed up, laughing, to try and get away from him. The pair broke off from the other two, giggling and shoving at each other's shoulders. Alex watched with some amusement.
"Are they always like this?" he asked, gesturing to the two tall figures ahead of them. John shook his head, exasperatedly.
"Always. Glad you're with us today, you can save me from being a third wheel." John slung his arm around Alex's shoulders, pulling him close as they walked and falling into step with him. Alex's heart lurched.
"A- Any time." John looked down at him, expression slightly concerned.
"No- shit, that sounded bad, didn't it- I didn't mean it like that, obviously I want to hang out with you, it's not just… yeah…" he trailed off, blushing. Alex, mind fuzzy with John Laurens blushing, didn't answer.
"Your girlfriend couldn't come?" John asked after a minute. That caught him off-guard.
"What?"
"Eliza, your girlfriend. She couldn't make it?"
"Oh, no. And she's my ex-girlfriend." Alex corrected him off-handedly, still not quite following John's train of thought. Why would he say…?
"Oh, shit, man, I'm sorry." John said, looking down at him again. "You- uh- you sure you want to come out with us? Shouldn't you be, like, wallowing in a pool of ice-cream or something?"
"What?"
"I don't know, man, you two just seemed really close, that's all, I'd have thought you'd be upset.. shit, sorry, am I making it worse? I'll stop I-"
"No, we are really close, but why would I be-" Then it slid into place. John had thought he and Eliza were on a date, that Tuesday. "Oh!" he exclaimed "Oh no no no, me and Eliza haven't dated since high-school! We're just really close friends." John looked at him in surprise.
"Wait, really? I thought you two were- I'm sorry, you just seemed really-"
"No, no- I get it though, we are really touchy and shit. She's amazing, and I love her to bits, but… no."
"Oh. Right."
They continued to walk in silence, Alex still pulled closely to John's side, enjoying the light sensation of the man's curly hair brushing against his cheek. The truth was, Eliza was available to come with them, but, despite Alexander's many pleading text messages, she had adamantly refused to accompany him, saying that she 'refused to spend an evening watching him drool over some guy the thought he had no chance with'. In hindsight, Alex found he was quite glad of her attitude; he could vividly imagine what her face would look like if she could see him now.
John's body was warm against his back, the slight lingering smell of coffee that he carried oddly comforting, and Alex found himself wishing that he could just stay like this- John's arm around his shoulders and their hips knocking together as they walked. It was nice. Without really thinking, he slid his own arm around John's waist, and regretted it instantly when he felt John tense up- that was way too intimate, god, what was he thinking, why did he have to go and do stupid things like that? He hastily made to remove his hand, but got a shock when John used his free one to reach around and hold it there. The hand on his shoulder tightened slightly, though not uncomfortably so. As they walked, John ran his thumb up and down Alex's fingers softly, blissfully unaware of the fact that Alex's intestines were suddenly doing summersaults. How was this not uncomfortable to him? Not that Alex himself was complaining, but was it normal for people to be this touchy-feely after knowing each other for, what, less than a week? Perhaps it was normal for John; he seemed completely at ease, while Alexander's heart was thumping, because holy shit his hands were really gentle and warm and his fingers were trailing over his own so softly, and Alex was fitted so closely into his side, like a blanket wrapped around him, and shit shit shit John was saying something-
"- if you don't mind, that is." Blushing furiously as he dragged himself from his thoughts, Alex craned his head around to look at John.
"Pardon? Sorry, I- I just zoned out for a second there." John chuckled slightly; Alex felt the vibrations through his back and his stomach flipped yet again.
"Nah, it's cool. I was just saying you should come back to Laf and Herc's place tonight, stay over. At least three of us will be plastered, and you are obligated to be one of those three as it's your first time experiencing a night out with those two, so we can all crash."
"Oh, I don't know…" Alex mumbled. "I was going to… you know, stay pretty sober, keep an eye on you guys…"
"Oh, come on." John whined, pleaded, almost- "You can't be the sober one on your first time with us. Trust me- if you are, it'll be the last time too- no one can handle the three of us drunk, we're awful. Since those two are already tipsy, I'll go easy and make sure they don't kill themselves, and you are morally obligated to get wasted. Ok? No arguments."
"But-"
"No. You are getting drunk tonight, Hamilton, I will personally see to it." With that, John winked, removed the hand from his shoulder, instead lacing their fingers together and pulling him towards a building to his right- a club with The Place To Be spelled out in neon lights over its entrance. Alex followed numbly, letting John pull him inside after Laf and Herc with his heart hammering in his chest. Okay, so maybe he could get a little drunk. What was the harm? It might even help him stop being so goddamn awkward. Yeah, alright. He could afford to have some fun.
John POV
Okay, John loved being the only one not drunk. He knew that that wouldn't be the case in an hour or so, but for now, laughing wildly and Snapchating Lafayette as he danced on the table to general whooping, he would've been hard-pressed to say why he ever drank himself. Laf and Herc had performed a pretty good spontaneous duet of Hips don't Lie, which had had him in stitches, and watching them knock various drinks over themselves and yell at each other across the dance floor was more than enough entertainment for him.
Alex was another matter.
After a couple of drinks, he'd got giggly, which had essentially ended John's life, because no one should be allowed to be that cute, alright, it was a public health hazard. He had laughed at everything any of them said, and remained glued to John's side like a limpet for much of the evening, burying his face in his shoulder and whining when the other two teased him, and fuck, if that didn't make every other though fly out of John's head. He had pouting down to a fine art; he positively melted when he turned those puppy-eyes on him, with a "Back me up, John, please, Herc's mean." He was pretty sure that he'd have done anything Alex asked him.
After a couple more, he'd got quiet, and a little sad. He hadn't said much, just clung to John's jacket and hunched in on himself, and muttered something about "All my fault" that John hadn't pressed him to explain. He had held him tight, feeling the warmth of his small, soft form curled against him, aware that he was enjoying it a little too much.
A couple more, and he was raucous, jumping among the lights with Herc and screaming lyrics he only half-knew, grabbing at John's hands, towing him onto the dance floor with them. John had let himself be pulled around, more stumbling and laughing than dancing. But hey, it was Alex, and he had found himself giggling and spinning him under his arm, which made Alex collapse against him with laughter, because John, you just spun me to Hotline Bling.
Now, at nearly 2am, John suddenly realised that he didn't know where Alex was. He looked away from the spectacle on the table, scanning the room for his friend- Alex still had Herc's bright green jacket around his shoulders (which, about three sizes too big, looked unfairly cute, if you asked John) so he should be fairly easy to spot. He'd said something about going to the bathroom… Making his way in the direction of the toilets, ducking under various flailing arms, John's searching eyes became increasingly worried. From what Alex said, he didn't go out that much, so he probably didn't know the warning signs for a bad situation- shit- he could be drugged in someone's car- or- or behind the club, getting into a fight he couldn't win- or- there! He spotted him, in a corner of the dance floor, talking to a guy much larger than himself. Or rather, the guy was talking to him. Alex looked annoyed, averting his eyes and trying to turn away from him, but the guy kept moving closer, forcing him to back up against the wall, now leaning one hand on it, blocking him entirely. The almost predatory smile on his face made John's stomach twist horribly. Shit. He had to get Alex out of there.
He hurried over, rage building in his stomach; the way the guy was looking at him made John want to break his face in.
"C'mon, baby, your boyfriend's not here now…" he was drawling, leaning in to Alex far too closely. "I know you want it… just one night, I'll make you feel good…"
"Get away from me." Alex muttered, turning his head away.
"Aww, you don't mean that, gorgeous, surely." the larger man cooed, taking Alex's chin between a thumb and forefinger and forcing him to look into his face. "I saw the way you were dancing with that boy of yours, bet you'd love it a little rough-" John ran the last couple of feet and slammed into his shoulder, knocking him to the side with a yell.
"Get the fuck away from him." he spat. The man, stunned a little by the initial impact, was recovering quickly, the surprise quickly turning to anger in his face. "Alex, find Herc." John muttered, and Alex all but bolted off to the table where Hercules and Lafayette were dancing. He turned to the man, who was advancing on him, lips now twisted in a smirk.
"Come to save your little boy-toy?" he mocked, throwing a punch that John dodged. The guy was drunk, clumsy. Good. He didn't dignify the comment with a response, instead lashing out and landing a sharp blow on his stomach which made him stumble back and groan. John started to back off towards the exit, but, before he'd gone more than a couple of steps, the man had lurched forward and grabbed his hair harshly, pulling him back.
"So the little mouse has got some fight?" the man growled, his other hand tightening over John's mouth. He struggled in vain, trying to twist out of his grip, but couldn't find an escape route- the guy was too strong. "Just had to come and get in the way didn't you, butting into something you couldn't finish, and just when I was going to have some fun with the little whore-" Fury making him feel nauseas, John bit down, hard, on the back of the man's hand, and he yelled out and released him. John ran a few feet, unsure of where he was going, until he all but slammed into Hercules, who pushed past him and socked the guy full in the face. He staggered backwards, glaring, but blanched as Herc grabbed the front of his shirt and held him off his feet.
"Get away from him." he spat, "And you'll leave here with all your teeth." He dropped the man unceremoniously, and watched as he scrambled to get away from them. The guy might have been big, but Herc was bigger.
Still breathing heavily, John patted Herc's arm in gratitude.
"Th-Thanks, Herc."
"Fucking dick."
"Yeah." He straightened up, looking around them. "Where's Alex?"
"Outside, think." Herc murmured, his voice starting to slur as the adrenaline dissipated. John sighed, taking his arm.
"C'mon, let's head home,"
They found Alex and Lafayette standing just outside, Alex looking shaken, with Laf's supporting arm around his shoulders, despite the fact that the taller man was swaying slightly. As soon as he saw John, he stumbled towards him and put his arms around his waist, muttering "Thank you, thank you, thank you-" under his breath. John held him tightly. He could feel Alex's hammering heart through his chest, his own, too, thudding after what had happened.
"It's alright, Alex, it's alright, sssh…" he murmured back, absently running a hand through his hair and rocking back and forth on his heels. Alex was safe. He was safe, and that was what mattered. After all, he probably wouldn't even remember in the morning.
The walk home passed unnoticed, the most interesting part being John shouting at Laf and Hercules when they almost stumbled into the road, now laughing again. Their intoxicated minds were quickly rid of the events that had transpired in the club, but the image of the leering man, and of Alexander's frightened face, stayed fixed in John's mind. He'd looked so helpless. Alex stayed latched onto his side the whole journey, arms clinging around his middle like a koala.
They reached the apartment without much of a hitch, and John quickly led Alex to a seat in the kitchen and grabbed him a glass of water. Putting it down on the table next to him, he leaned in instinctively and pressed his lips to Alex's forehead, promptly turning away to hide his blush- like he'd even notice.
"I'll be back in a second." he called quickly over his shoulder, rushing out of the room and going to make sure that Herc and Lafayette ended up sleeping in beds. On one memorable morning, all three of them had woken up sprawled on the kitchen table. The aches had lasted for days.
After finally persuading Herc into his own room and some pyjamas- the man was impossibly stubborn, it was like dealing with a four year old- he returned to Alex in the kitchen.
Alex was sitting, sipping his water and staring quite contentedly at the table. John noted quickly that it was the stillest he'd ever seen him- no tapping fingers or chewing on his lip- he seemed a little out of himself. He looked endearingly small, too, half curled up under Hercules' enormous jacket, shoulders hunched and hair falling inelegantly over his eyes, and John had a sudden, rather embarrassing urge to throw his arms around him again, to hold him and keep him safe, to run his fingers through that hair a hundred times and never stop. Instead, he sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey, you feeling alright?"
"Mmmh." Alex shrugged, slightly dazedly. "Am now. Wasn't before, that man was nasty, trying to touch me and…" he broke of with a grimace.
"I know, I know, I am so sorry you had to go through that." John told him, rubbing his arm. "I should have made sure I knew where you were." Alex didn't answer, just finished drinking his water and pulled Herc's jacket tighter around himself.
"'m tired."
"Okay, come with me. You can have my bed."
John led Alex through to the living room, where a mattress on a small frame was set up in one corner, and sat him down on it. Alexander yawned and lay down almost instantly, but John pulled him upright again.
"You shouldn't sleep in those clothes. Trust me, it may seem like a good idea now, but you'll regret it in the morning." Alex pouted up at him.
"Don't have any pyjamas with me…" he whined.
"You can borrow a pair of mine." John said. He then had to hunt around for some, of course; the area around the mattress was strewn with clothes, worn and unworn, some half folded, or inside out. John was always a bit of a slob, but even he had to admit that this was getting a little ridiculous. Eventually, he found his turtle pyjamas, rolled up next to the pillow, and grabbed them, turning back to Alex. He started and flushed as he saw that Alexander had already stripped to his boxers, and was sitting, completely unabashed, in the middle of John's bed. Well, that wasn't something he'd mind seeing again…
Averting his eyes quickly, he tossed Alex the pyjamas with a mumbled "Here" and turned his back to him while he pulled them on. After a minute, when he heard Alex lie down again, he figured it was safe to look back, and did, but almost had a heart attack when met with what was by far the cutest image he'd ever seen.
Alex was curled on his side, eyes half open and a sleepy smile on his face, his hair falling over his shoulders, with John's pyjamas, pretty long on him, covering his hands and feet- he looked absolutely adorable. Just when he thought his heart couldn't take any more, Alex was reaching out his hands, making little grabbing motions to try and get John to come over to him, and John was pretty sure he died. He walked over and knelt down next to the mattress, bringing his face level with Alexander's, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest.
"Sorry I d- didn't have clean pyjamas, they probably smell…" he stammered, willing himself not to get lost in Alexander's wide, dark eyes. The smaller man only yawned- a happy little sound that made John's breath hitch.
"Like 'em. They smell like you." he mumbled. Okay, that did it. One more second, and John was going to do something incredibly stupid.
He made to get up, intending to go to the kitchen and let Alex sleep, but the man's loose fingers caught his shirt, prompting him to stay.
"What is it, Alex?"
"Come closer?" Helpless under his sleepy, pleading eyes, John obliged, leaning in to Alex's face, doing his best to ignore the flippy things that it did to his stomach. The smaller man's eyes roamed over his face, once again giving him the impression of being analysed, as he leaned up even more, so close that John could feel his breath ghosting over his lips. "John…" he murmured.
"Y- Yes, Alex?" he managed. He was acutely aware of Alexander's fingers, which were tugging loosely at the hem of his shirt, brushing his skin occasionally, making him shiver at the contact. Alex narrowed his eyes, searching for words.
"John… you've got stars on your nose." he whispered.
Speechless, John simply stared at him. Alex's eyes slid closed, and he dropped his hold on John's shirt. He was asleep.
John took a steadying breath, watching for any further sign of movement, and, after receiving only quiet snores, got to his feet and walked a little shakily to the kitchen.
Shit, he had it bad. He ran a hand distractedly through his hair, his hand tapping on the counter, and tried unsuccessfully to wrench his thoughts away from Alex Alex Alex, Alex smiling sleepily, Alex yawning, pouting and pulling him close like that… he could've kissed him. The thought entered his mind quite unbidden- he could've kissed Alex. They had been so close, he could've leaned down an inch and pressed their lips together, could've climbed onto the bed with him and pulled him close, run his fingers through his hair, kissed him again and again and made him moan, he could've-
Alright, calm the fuck down, John.
So much for getting a good night's sleep. Quite apart from the fact that his bed was now occupied, he was buzzing. It was funny, as though Alex had somehow transferred all his nervous energy into John, leaving him contentedly calm and John absolutely itching for something to occupy his hands. Predictably, he could only think of one thing. Sidling as quietly as he could into Hercules' room (like he had to worry about noise- the guy snored like a monster), he grabbed a pencil and eraser from the desk and a couple of sheets of paper from the floor next to it. The paper was thick, rough, and he and Laf had used it to press flowers that summer. Patches of it were stained a little red. For some reason, that was perfect. John then took a thick cook-book from a shelf in the kitchen and re-entered the lounge, settling himself on the sofa cross-legged, facing Alexander. The man was lying perfectly still on his side, one arm trapped under his head, the other thrown off the edge of the mattress, his legs twisted into the blanket he was lying on top of, his hair spread every-which-way where he had flopped down, and John's pyjama shirt riding up a little to show some of his soft stomach. He looked absolutely beautiful.
Shifting slightly, John put pencil to paper and started to sketch. The snuffling sounds Alex made in his sleep merged with Hercules' gargantuan snores from through the wall, and the scratching of his pencil cut through them evenly. The noises were oddly soothing.
John, you've got stars on your nose.
He smiled to himself.
*Thank you for reading! Man, that's gonna kill in the morning... tell me what you think, biscuits, I kinda love the end of this chapter... see you in the next one!*
