Clarke awoke the next morning with makeup smeared down the left side of her face and an ache in her neck. Stifling a yawn and gazing suspiciously at the light streaming through her window, she checked the time. 2pm. She almost laughed with delight. It had been impossible to get any sleep last semester and after averaging five hours a night for god knows how long, twelve hours was a miracle. Clarke stretched and groaned at how good it felt before forcing herself out of bed.
She'd been offered Aurora's old room when she moved in, mainly because it had an adjoining bathroom and as close as Octavia and Raven were, Octavia couldn't imagine renting her dead mother's room to anyone but Clarke. Apparently it had been Bellamy's idea but he was in Rome at the time and Clarke couldn't handle the idea that he still thought of her. The bathroom in question was a mess and she swore as she tripped over a pile of clothes on the way to the shower. This place needs a cleaning crew, she thought, deciding against doing any of it today. No, today she was going to relax. In the scalding shower she decided on painting, it had been far too long since she'd put brush to canvas. Almost a year now, in fact. Oh the joys of med school. Jumping out of the shower, Clarke dried her hair and got ready for the day with a spring in her step.
It was quiet in the house, and sparkling clean too. Her roommates must have cleared away the mess while she slept. Clarke shuffled over to her coffee pot; despite her good mood she had a serious addiction and never made it very far without coffee in her system. Coffee was her life. She frowned at the note that had been left on top of the pot. Octavia's messy scrawl gave up the absolute worst news. Seriously, someone could have died and Clarke would have been happier.
Hey Babe,
Ray's at work and I've taken Bell to the store to stock up on groceries. He kind of drank all of your coffee this morning... He says he thought it was mine but I swear the dick is winding you up, be the bigger person please! I can't have my favourite people fighting all the time! I'll buy you some more, promise!
We cleaned up too so you can't be made at us, LOVE YOU xxx
Clarke saw red. So much for the spring in her step. "Fucking Bellamy!"
She counted to ten, clenched her fists and took a few deep breaths. It took ten minutes of colourful swearing before Clarke realised there was nothing she could do about it. Octavia clearly wanted them to be civil and she could totally handle that. At least until O was in Florida, after that all Hell would break loose. Just cling to the idea of Florida, Clarke, then you can kill him. She had to buy new painting supplies anyway so decided to just get a coffee at The Ark, the coffee shop Jasper and Monty worked at over summer. She pulled out her phone to see if either were working (because by God she needed someone to vent to) grabbed her shoes and wallet and at the last minute picked up a tattered copy of All Along the Western Front which could only be Bellamy's. It was just sitting there on the coffee table, and he'd used up her fucking coffee. Be the bigger person her ass.
The door to the café slammed behind her and she heard enthusiastic shouts of "Clarke!" from the till. Jasper and Monty waved to her as she collapsed at her favourite stool.
"I fucking hate Bellamy!" Clarke declared, shoving loose change across the counter.
"I assume this isn't about last night then?" Monty passed her a coffee and she hummed gratefully, taking a large gulp. It was hot, but that was the way she liked her coffee. Black, steaming and full of caffeine.
"Nope!" She popped the 'p' sound, "he drank all my fucking coffee this morning."
Jasper snorted and Clarke glared at him. "Seriously guys, it's not even been a full day of living with him and he drank all my coffee. Not even the devil would dare to take coffee away from me."
She felt a hand on her shoulder, "she's right guys no one in their right mind would take coffee from our favourite overdramatic addict."
"Harper! Hey! I thought you had a shift today?" Clarke jumped up to give her a hug.
"I do," the girl laughed, gesturing at her scrubs as Clarke mumbled something under her breath about a lack of coffee and therefore intelligence.
"Just popping by on my break to get a coffee, I'm so dead after last night, and I clearly remember this guy offering me a free one if I conquered the tequila shots, which I totally did." The nurse gestured to a sheepish looking Monty who shrugged and handed over a coffee that he had clearly made the moment she walked in the door.
Clarke rolled her eyes, "you didn't shout me a coffee Monty! What's Harper got that I don't?"
Jasper stifled a laugh and Monty turned a bright shade of red, mumbling that not everyone was as rich as Clarke Griffin. Her face broke into a teasing smile and her eyes shone as she ordered another coffee to go. As Clarke said goodbye to her friends, Monty still refused to look her directly in the eye.
With a coffee balanced in one hand (yes she'd gone to get another) and a few bags overflowing with art supplies in the other, Clarke stumbled into her apartment. Light flowed perfectly into the living room, soft orange and perfect to paint in. After setting her easel up and slipping into a baggy white t-shirt that was so covered in paint stains it could hardly be called white, she pulled her hair into a bun. Now all she needed was inspiration, and she knew just who to go to for it.
Griffindor 4:33pm: Raaay, I'm painting and I need inspo! Hit me with your best shot xx
Her phone dinged almost straight away and Clarke giggled because of course Raven wasn't hard at work, she never was when she could wrap her boss Wick around her finger.
Ravenclaw 4:34pm: The ocean and/or anything sea related! Mainly because we should go to the beach next weekend, keen?
Griffindor 4:36pm: My life is so much better with you in it Reyes. I'm down for the beach! If O gets to go to Florida we can damn well have fun of our own! Thanks babe, see ya for dinner?
Ravenclaw 4:38pm: Actually I'm going out for a drink with Wick after work and I'll be home late… Wish me luck!
Griffindor 4:40pm: Ooh get it girl! ;) have fun! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!
Clarke reached for her headphones and lost herself in strokes of paint and extra-loud music. Occasionally she'd brush stray, unruly hairs back into place. She didn't notice when the paint ended up streaked across her face in hues of blue that brought out her eyes, just like she didn't notice her roommates come home. It wasn't until Octavia pulled a headphone unceremoniously out of her ear that she realised she wasn't alone.
Clarke smiled at the sloppy kiss her friend leaned down to press to her cheek and wiped her hands on her shirt before getting up. "Hey, how long have you been home?"
"About half an hour actually, you were totally out of it. We ended up heading into Yale as well as the store; Bell wanted to catch up with Marcus."
"Oh how is he? I haven't seen him in so long!" Marcus Kane was an old friend of her parents, and was often around during her childhood. Clarke loved him as if he was her family, and he had always been there for her. Especially when her mum left to D.C to pursue politics after the accident.
"Just as sassy and nerdy as usual! No wonder you all get along so well," Octavia laughed, "hey Bell's making pasta, you want some?"
Ah, so that explained the clanging sound of pots coming from the kitchen. Clarke was used to being the only person who made food in this house. She supposed she'd have to share that with Bellamy now too.
Following Octavia to the kitchen, Clarke spied a brand new bag of coffee on the counter. She ignored Bellamy moving around her and perked up immediately upon opening said bag and sniffing at the grounds.
"God you're like an addict," Octavia commented, echoing Harper from earlier.
"Shut up," Clarke glared, "I need this stuff to survive, O." She set about making a coffee, pointedly avoiding Bellamy's glare. She was so the bigger person.
"How many have you actually had today?" Octavia pulled paperwork out of her bag, rummaging for a specific file.
"Only three! I went to the Ark. Monty totally has a crush on Harper by the way." Clarke sat down with her mug and sighed at the first sweet sip. She was in love with coffee. If she never got into a stable relationship at least coffee would always be by her side.
"Girl, that's been going on for months! You've literally been living under a rock this year." Octavia scoffed, standing up with piles of paperwork in her arms. "I'm gonna head to the study, I've gotta sort some stuff out, you ok with…?"
She gestured at the space between Clarke and Bellamy, who had his back turned to them. He was chopping carrots and seemed content to pretend neither of them existed, at least while the blonde was around. Clarke nodded her consent. "I'll call you when the food's up."
She sat in silence as Bellamy continued to use her cooking space as if it were his own (which was stupid because technically it was). He clearly knew where everything lived, which cupboard and draw held what, and it irritated her to no end. He had barely cooked in this house before he left to Rome; this had always been her territory. Now here he was, after three years, with the nerve to use her coffee and take over her kitchen. Not to mention he hadn't even acknowledged her.
Clarke frowned, "I thought you couldn't even cook," she muttered before she could stop herself. Shit. Well there goes being the bigger person.
Bellamy had his back to her and Clarke watched as he stiffened his hand stilling; gripping the knife so hard his knuckles turned white. For a minute she thought he wouldn't bite back. But this was Bellamy and he never strayed from a challenge.
"Like I said, Princess, you don't know anything about me."
I know you're an asshole, she thought, leaving the room without a word. Clearly she'd been the asshole though and it grated at her. Clarke huffed, picking up the book she stole from him and threw herself onto the couch. Her heart was running a mile a minute and losing herself in a book with good coffee would calm her. It always did.
Almost half an hour had passed before Bellamy stalked past her to Octavia's room. She ducked down, hiding the cover of the book. It was an incredible read; she hadn't even noticed the time pass. From her vantage point on the couch she heard him inform his sister that dinner was ready. Clarke focussed on the book while watching Bellamy out of the corner of her eye as he marched back to the kitchen. He walked right past without a word or even a glance in her direction.
Well fuck you Bellamy Blake.
Dinner was awkward to say the least. Octavia and Bellamy chatted while Clarke pushed pasta around her plate. It was so good that she wanted to ask for the recipe but Hell would freeze over before she gave him that satisfaction. How had he learned to cook like this? The Bellamy she knew burnt toast almost daily. Evidently he'd been right and she didn't know him at all. Resentment left a funny taste in her mouth that couldn't be washed away despite the incredible food.
The next few days followed much the same as the dinner - awkward and uncomfortable for Clarke.
Octavia and Bellamy caught up on years of missed time, Raven went to her internship, and Clarke painted. By the time the end of the week rolled around she'd taken over the living room with canvases. Painting the canvases felt more accomplishing than all the assignments she'd completed this year. Taking a sip from newly brewed coffee Clarke took the chance to lean back and look at her masterpiece. Surrounding the room were scenes of the ocean, forests and a two-headed deer inspired by Bellamy (who had continued to drink her coffee in the most arrogant, aggravating way, which pissed her off so much she had painted the ugliest thing she could think of and passive-aggressively named the painting Tall Dark Asshole).
Clarke's favourite collection was in the corner. Bathed in afternoon light stood four scenes of outer space, differing in size yet each as incredible as the last. Jake Griffin had been an astronaut and she knew she'd captured his essence in these paintings. A tear escaped as she wished, not for the first time, that she'd been the one driving him home from the conference she'd skipped at the last minute. According to police reports Abby had fallen asleep at the wheel and steered the car directly into a lamp post. The most devastating moment of her life, including the death of her childhood friend Wells. The accident was three years ago but it felt to Clarke like just yesterday. It probably always would.
Clarke was pulled from her thoughts when a door banged open behind her. Hastily brushing tears from her eyes she turned to greet Octavia only to find a dishevelled Bellamy standing in the doorway, shifting his weight and rubbing at the back of his head.
Bellamy glanced at her and then the paintings, "they're really good," he pointed.
What? Clarke gaped at him and her eyebrows rose so high they threatened to reach her hairline.
"Um, thank you."
Seconds of awkward silence passed and Bellamy dropped his gaze to the floor. Clarke continued to stare comically as he walked into the kitchen without another word.
"What just happened?" Octavia walked through the doorway with an expression on her face that matched Clarke's.
"Was my brother just nice to you?" She stage whispered.
Clarke was still torn between confusion and satisfaction, "I… think so? I have no idea what that was."
Was he trying to get back in her good graces? Or was it crueller than that? Was he going to build her up just to break her down like he had years ago? One thing was for sure, she had no idea who Bellamy was anymore. For the few days he'd been staying with them he'd been openly hostile, only to be kinder than ever with no warning. To say she was confused was an understatement.
"Well before you guys had that fight the other night he did say he wanted to put it behind him, maybe he's decided fighting's not worth the trouble?"
Clarke crossed her arms. "Maybe. But just waltzing in and saying my paintings are good isn't going to change what he did."
"It could be what he sees as the first step, Clarke."
"The first step would have been not leaving at all, O." Clarke countered.
"Look I know he hurt you but-"
"You really don't O, you really have no idea."
"He left me too Clarke! I'm his fucking sister and I've forgiven him. Bell never does anything without a reason, why don't you just ask him what his reason was?"
"He didn't just leave. He should have called when dad died, I was there for him when your mum died. There's no reason that will ever make that okay."
Clarke was bitter. She had every right to be, but it wasn't like her to hold on to things. Normally, she forgave ever misstep. Hell she'd even forgiven Finn. Her therapist (because she had to get one after Jake, doctors' orders) had spent years teaching her about the benefits of letting go.
Octavia, she thought, she needs us to get along. Those words had become a mantra over the week. Every time Bellamy frustrated her she pictured her best friend, and how Bellamy and Clarke were the only family she had. She had to do this for Octavia.
With an inward snarl Clarke clamped the bitter feeling down, deciding she really didn't like the look that had crept into Octavia's expression. The brown eyes were filled with pity.
"I'm sorry-" Octavia began, but Clarke cut her off.
"It's fine love, don't worry about it let's just invite the others around, do a movie night or something? It's your last night in town after all."
Octavia gave her an unreadable look and nodded, face splitting in a grin.
"I'll text the guys, movie night with drinking games?"
Clarke laughed; she lived with a bunch of alcoholics. Oh how she loved them and their self-destructive ways.
"Oh and O," Clarke stood up and walked over to her room, "I'll try with Bellamy."
No promises though, she added in her head. Picking up the book she'd stolen from its innocent place on her bedside table, she sighed. The first step was always the hardest. A deep breath (or about 5 minutes of deep breathing) later and she paced back past Octavia into the kitchen.
Bellamy was messing with her coffee maker and Clarke cleared her throat, swallowing down the frustration. He turned to her with a guilty look in his goddamn puppy dog eyes and she bit back a snarky comment. Extending her hand she offered the book to Bellamy and a look of surprise crossed his face.
"I wondered where this went."
"Yeah sorry, I kind of stole it. I was mad at you after the whole coffee thing." Clarke pointedly glanced at the coffee pot in his hands.
"Uh, yeah. Sorry I just, yeah," Bellamy stuttered and shoved a hand through his tousled black locks.
Clarke swallowed and tore her gaze from his hair. There was no way she wanted to reach out and smooth it down again. What was wrong with her? Get it together, Griffin.
"It's a really good book."
Bellamy blinked and then offered a sweet smile. "I know right! A girl I dated, Roma, actually leant it to me. I kept it when we didn't work out as a reminder."
Clarke paled. Suddenly the air was tight and she couldn't breathe. You don't know anything about me played in her mind. Of course he would have had relationships in Rome that she knew nothing about, he was there for three years after all. A knot formed in her stomach but she pushed it down. Baby steps, Griffin.
"Oh, right. Well, thanks."
"Hey guys! Did I just hear that right?" Raven jumped cheerfully onto the counter next to them. "Your girlfriends name was Roma? While you were living in Rome? You've got to see how funny this is!"
Bellamy laughed, actually laughed, which set the record for the most emotion he'd shown around Clarke in a week. It was a familiar sound, lighting up his face and subsequently the whole room. He'd always had that affect.
"The jokes that were made about that you wouldn't believe. Ciao, I'm Roma, from Rome," Bellamy mocked in a sing song voice. "That was the way she introduced herself and it never failed to break the ice."
"I'm still buzzing over her name, your ship name could have been Broma! Oh the opportunities Blake!"
"The opportunity wasn't missed Reyes, even in Rome I was able to make friends with a sense of humour, you know. It's Rome, not Nazi Germany."
Bellamy opened the fridge and popped a bottle of beer open, passed it to Raven and grabbed another for Clarke. She smiled her thanks at him as he leaned back against the fridge, taking a long swig from his own bottle.
"To find people who are funny you have to be funny yourself, wherever you are," Raven winked.
The knot in Clarke's stomach eased slowly as she observed the back and forth banter between Raven and Bellamy. Maybe Bellamy being back in town wouldn't be so bad after all? Clarke finished her beer, tilting her head slightly and zoning back into the conversation.
"So what happened between you and Roma?" Raven asked.
Bellamy tensed; a bittersweet smile laced with pain appeared on his face.
"She died."
