A/N: In honor of Inukag Week AU Day. (Check out Tumblr, guys, today will be amazing.)
Mothers
Listen to the wailing chant of the women, listen to the cry of the priests.
Lady Higurashi kneeled by Izayoi's grave and offered her the usual red camellias, but the gesture was an apology this time.
"I failed you," the woman whispered tiredly, passing a trembling hand over her knot of wavy hair.
She closed her eyes, smelling the sweet spring perfume, and tried to gather her thoughts. The forest was alive with the sounds of birds and small animals, and Lady Higurashi thought it cruel to be surrounded by happiness when she felt so empty inside.
"I remember when I first saw you, my friend," she started. "You were walking down this very path, holding little Inuyasha's hand. I looked at your son, and—and I was speechless. In an eyebat, my curious Kagome ran to him and grabbed the poor boy's ears! I had to say something then, and the first thing I ever told you was 'I'm sorry'."
He tried so hard not to growl at her, she recalled. He always tried so hard not to frighten people, even as a six-year-old.
If Lady Higurashi thought she'd ran out of tears, she was sadly mistaken.
"I looked at you and saw a little of myself, you know? Did I ever tell you that?" She paused, rubbing her temples. "Kagome was five, Sota was on the way, and I was alone. You came over to see him when he was born, and I remember you thanked me for being kind—for letting Kagome play with Inuyasha. They'd been inseparable ever since the ear incident… I could never deny him like they did, I would never... "
Lady Higurashi was crying copiously. She remembered those months with a bittersweet fondness. The former princess had come to their hut every single day to check on Sota, and Kagome and Inuyasha would sit by their feet as they fawned over the baby. Inuyasha kept flattening his ears because of all the wailing, but he never complained.
Izayoi was already sick by that time. She died not long after my husband.
When it comes down to it, I didn't befriend her out of pity. She helped me get through a difficult moment—she was the merciful one, really, but… I'd like to think I made her last days happier, too.
"Have I ever told you how lucky I felt to have you by my side? How smart and kind you were? Have I praised your son enough?" She sighed. "I lost him. Something happened to him, a beast might've taken him away from right under my nose... I lost your beautiful boy, Izayoi, even though I promised I would help Kaede take care of him. I lost him, I lost Kagome, I failed you, I failed my husband, I failed as a mother—oh, God, I'm so sorry!"
The woman was hysterical by that point, shaking from grief and regret.
He's been lost ever since the beginning of winter, she thought desperately. Inuyasha spent three new moons away from home.
Suddenly, a wrinkled, trembling hand was on Lady Higurashi's shoulder. She looked up and saw Kaede's crumbling face through her blurred vision.
"That's enough, Higurashi," Old Kaede's voice cracked. "If anyone's a failure here, I am. You have two children to take care of. Inuyasha's my responsibility, not yours."
"But I promised to help, Kaede! I gave Izayoi my word, and now her little boy might be dead!" She protested weakly.
Old Kaede shushed her gently, helping Lady Higurashi up with both her hands. Once they were facing each other, the elder woman wiped the younger's tears and cradled her face in her hands.
"He's not a little boy anymore," Old Kaede remarked calmly. "We must have faith in him. We must have faith in her."
She waited for the distressed mother to nod before resuming. "If the chief's men didn't find Kagome, 'tis most likely because she didn't wanna be found. As stupid as it may seem, can we truly blame her? Everyone thinks she's insane. No one believes in her, which is why we must."
Lady Higurashi nodded again, took a very deep breath, and smiled. It was a broken smile, but there was strength behind it.
"When Kagome turned fifteen, I started worrying about her future," Higurashi confessed, holding Kaede's hands in hers. "Even though I love Inuyasha, I was worried they would fall for each other. They're both old enough to marry, they're always, always together, and I didn't want her to tie herself to a half-demon in a world such as this. I think people's shunning him is absurd, and yet I was perpetuating this way of thinking—because it involved my daughter. What a coward I am..."
"Now, Higurashi, every mother would—"
"I won't." She regarded Kaede solemnly. "I won't betray Izayoi's memory by filling Kagome's head with doubts. If they come back to me alive, I will never voice my worries, Kaede. This… This is my last promise to Izayoi, and I intend to keep it."
Old Kaede was moved beyond words. For a mother to disregard her concerns like this, to allow her child to be happy if they so choose—that certainly took a lot of guts.
God, hear this brave woman's promise, Kaede pleaded. Return them safely to us.
Kagome and Shippo had been walking aimlessly for a week.
After he'd told her how much time she'd lost sleeping, the girl had panicked. She'd done everything in her power to travel at a faster pace, but the truth was that those fourteen days under Kaou's influence had taken a heavy toll on her body. Kagome felt weak and malnourished, but she refused to stop for too long—not only because she was anxious to find Inuyasha, but because it wasn't safe.
People still didn't like it very much when she asked them about a half-demon, especially when they saw Shippo perched on her shoulder.
"D'you think your mom will go searching for you, Kagome?" The kit asked suddenly.
Kagome's step faltered.
"She can't." The girl sighed. "I have a ten-year-old brother who doesn't work yet, and she has to take care of him. People don't like us very much… She can't leave him all alone."
Shippo nodded pensively.
"I'm an only child, so my mom would chase me down," he said with a sad little smile. "Even if I had siblings, they'd be tough demons, too. I think she'd come either way."
"I bet she would," Kagome said, patting his head lightly. She hesitated, observing him from the corner of her eye. "And... what about your dad?"
She already knew Shippo's mother had died when he was very young, but he didn't talk much about his father. Kagome figured that was a good moment to bring it up.
"I loved papa, but he was a fool," Shippo whispered. "He lost his life because he found a stupid shard of the Shikon no Tama. I told him it was trouble, but he kept it!"
Kagome flinched at the barely concealed anger in the kit's voice.
"Shikon no Tama?" She echoed. "Isn't that just a myth, though?"
Are you still in denial over the gigantic dog? A small voice whispered on the back of her mind.
The girl ignored it.
"For humans, maybe." Shippo shrugged. "It's best you stay away from it. Demons have been fighting over the shards for hundreds of years, ever since the jewel broke. Mom used to tell me this story when I was a little kit… Wanna hear it?"
"Sure!" Kagome said eagerly. "Old Kaede used to tell me this story, too, but I bet yours will be different."
"I guess you know the beginning, right? About priestess Midoriko, and how she had to seal her soul with the demons'?"
Kagome nodded, keeping her eyes on the road.
"D'you know how it got broken?"
"No." She shook her head. "We only know it was during a nasty fight."
"It was," Shippo said darkly. "There was this bird demon, Princess Abi, who had gotten ahold of the jewel. Demons from everywhere started attacking her to steal it!" He paused for effect, much like Kaede did. Kagome had to suppress the urge to giggle.
"During one of those battles," Shippo resumed, "she and her birds retreated, flying higher than they'd ever flown. No one could see them anymore… just the pink glow of the jewel coming from above the clouds."
Kagome could picture it perfectly: a beautiful, deadly demon princess, holding the Shikon no Tama in her extended hand as she went up. The girl imagined the wind blowing on her hair, and her insane laughter when she looked down and saw the bloody battlefield beneath her.
"Some demons who could also fly started going after Abi," Shippo continued, "but something blasted her from the sky before they got there. She screamed when a light hit her, and the jewel was broken into a million pieces—some of them no bigger than a grain of sand, mama told me."
"Who attacked her?" Kagome frowned.
"They say the gods did it." Shippo shrugged. "They say Abi payed for her insolence, for thinking herself so superior."
How far up did she even fly? Kagome mused.
"Anyway..." The kit sighed. "The shards of the jewel are evil. They make you stronger, but they also turn you into a cold-hearted bastard—which is why most demons want it, really... If you feel nothing, you fear nothing."
"Did your father tell you that?" Kagome murmured, shocked by the obvious power lust behind those words.
"Yeah." Shippo nodded. "He was right, but fear is useful. It keeps you alive, you see? One day, two bloodthirsty demon brothers came after his shard, and… and he felt no fear. That's what got him killed in the end."
Kagome didn't know what to say, so she just mumbled, "I'm sorry."
"It's fine." Shippo sniffled. "I'm already wiser than he was, Kagome. I don't wanna go anywhere near a shard ever again, and I wouldn't keep one if I found it."
After a pregnant pause, she heard the kit murmuring, "Papa didn't even care about me anymore."
"Shippo…" She paused. "He might not have shown it, but I'm sure he still loved you deep down. It was the jewel shard that—"
"He was… cold, Kagome," Shippo interjected. "I don't know if there was anything 'deep down' anymore. Papa never stayed around for too long, and he sounded weird when he did."
The girl felt uneasy after hearing Shippo's words. His description of his father's behavior sounded too much like Inuyasha's for her peace of mind.
Would Inuyasha tell me if he'd gotten a jewel shard? Kagome asked herself. Could he have found it in the clearing that day? The day things began to change…
She refused to believe Inuyasha would keep something like this from her.
"Say, Shippo," the girl started cautiously. "D'you think it's possible to have a jewel shard in your body without knowing it?"
The kit frowned. "I guess someone could get close enough to put it on you, but why would they do it? Besides, I don't know a single demon who'd just give away their jewel shard."
Kagome furrowed her brow. "You must be right..."
"Why?"
"No reason…" Kagome shrugged.
"I think we should stop for the night," the kit suggested. "It's getting dark."
Kagome took a deep breath and looked around her at the deserted road. "We're in the middle of nowhere, but you're right… Walking in the dark will be worse. Let's set up camp."
"Can you find me, imp?" Inuyasha's singsong voice came from somewhere on her right. Kagome could practically hear his smile.
"Not if you're a cheat and change places, I can't!" The little girl complained, brow furrowed in concentration as she scrutinized the woods. "And I'm not an imp, you brat!"
"C'mon, Kagome," he chided, and this time his voice came from her left. "You can do better. It's just hide-and-seek!"
"But you're faster," she argued. "We decided you can't move, remember?"
"Keh," Kagome heard Inuyasha getting closer, though he was nowhere in sight. "Fine, I won't move. Find me now!"
She thought she'd seen a bush shaking slightly. The girl lunged at it, but he wasn't there.
"Find me now!"
His voice was coming from… farther away? Was Inuyasha moving again? She couldn't win the game unless she saw him!
"Find me now!"
Kagome could barely hear him anymore, and it filled her with incomprehensible dread.
"Find me now!"
Deafening silence.
She awoke with a start just before dawn. Shippo, who was sleeping curled close to her neck, grunted in response to the slight movement. Her extra cloak was wrapped around her waist, and she felt the cold get to her bones.
Kagome rubbed her eyes with her hands and waited for her heartbeat to return to normal. The embers of the fire were still burning under the pinking sky, and the girl found herself thinking about Inuyasha's eyes—and her dream.
With a diminutive sigh, she reached for the cloak to cover herself again.
"Are we getting up now?" Shippo mumbled.
"Not right now." Kagome patted his head, "but soon. If we start early, we can cover more ground before sunset."
"Hn," Shippo grunted.
Kagome was almost unconscious when she felt something prick her cheek. She jerked awake again, slapping her own face to get it—whatever it was—off her.
"Hello to you, too, my lady," a pain-filled voice spoke from her reddened palm.
Looking closely, the girl saw it was a flea demon, and a very old one at that. His white whiskers proved he was an elderly male, and Kagome almost felt bad for having slapped him—until she remembered he'd been sucking her blood.
She frowned, sitting up and dislodging Shippo. The kit mumbled incoherently and shifted awake.
"What is it, Kagome?"
"It's a... flea."
Shippo scooted closer sleepily to look at her opened palm. Sure enough, a small demon was standing there, straightening himself up and patting his clothes. He cleared his throat, then said: "Good day, Shippo."
"Myoga." The kit snorted. "What are you doing here? You following me or something?"
"Of course not, you brat!" He looked at Kagome. "Nice to meet you, girl. I'm Myoga. Who would you be?"
"I'm Kagome." She tilted her head and blinked down at him, brown eyes full of curiosity.
The flea blushed. "My, aren't you a cute one—and tasty, too!"
"Cut it out," Shippo barked, reaching out and taking him from Kagome's palm. "I won't let you slobber all over her!"
"Why, don't act like she's your mother!" Myoga snapped. "I'll have you know I'm under Princess Sango's command now, and I'll tell her-"
"Princess Sango?" The kit repeated, ignoring the 'mother' comment completely. "Are we near her village?"
"You're a day from there, to be exact." The flea sniffled, crossing his diminutive arms.
Kagome gulped. "Is that a good thing? Is she human?"
"Good? Depends on her mood, I guess." Shippo crinkled his nose. "And she's human, all right... a stuck-up one, from what I hear, but she knows a bunch of stuff."
"How do you know each other?" Kagome asked, pointing from the kit to the flea. Shippo was still holding Myoga between his thumb and index finger.
"Why, Shippo's a stray," Myoga said maliciously. "Everyone stumbles upon him eventually."
Shippo made a disgusted face and tossed the flea in the bushes. Kagome felt her heart constrict at the not-so-subtle reminder that the fox demon was a wandering child. Before she could think of something to say, though, Myoga came jumping back from the bushes to sit on her shoulder.
"What is an orphan kit doing traveling with a human girl?" The flea asked suspiciously.
Kagome rubbed her temples, mentally preparing herself to tell a brief version of their story.
When she was finished, the embers of the fire had already died and the sky was a light blue hue. The girl kicked her cloak away, feeling suddenly hot, and made to get up.
"Hold on," the flea called. "I think I've seen the half-demon you seek."
She stopped mid-motion, fixing wide, hopeful eyes on Myoga.
He swallowed.
"Liar." Shippo snorted, crossing his arms and looking away. His tail was swinging with interest, though, and Kagome could see he was looking at the tiny demon from the corner of his eye.
"Princess Sango has been receiving suitors, you see," Myoga started. "She said she would only marry a man who could answer when he was spoken to—one who wouldn't merely stand there and look grand. She's excessively smart." Myoga sighed. "Young men came in streams! There was a deal of crowding and rushing, but no one succeeded on the first or second day."
Kagome and Shippo were looking at him expectantly.
"Get on with it!" The kit rushed.
"Well... On the third day, there came a boy with long silver hair…"
"It's Inuyasha!" Kagome exclaimed joyfully.
Shippo glared at Myoga when the flea cleared his throat, silently threatening him if he said he'd been mistaken.
"The boy said he didn't come to woo her, but to ask for advice. She thought him very nice." The old man paused. "He was dressed in a purple robe."
"Purple?" Kagome frowned. "Don't you mean red? It must have been red!"
'Ask for advice'? 'Nice'? It doesn't sound like him at all, but...
"It may have been," Myoga gulped, sending Shippo a frightened glance.
Either way, I have to check it.
"Well!" Kagome smiled, and it seemed to the two demons that the sun was shining brighter. "Let's go, then!"
"I must warn you, though," Myoga lifted his finger, "that a peasant girl like you would never obtain permission to enter the castle. I'll talk it over with my… fiancée—she works at the castle and might help you sneak in."
"How did Inuyasha get in? He doesn't look much better than me!" Kagome snorted.
Myoga sighed. "I don't think anyone could have stopped him."
The girl smiled at that, daring herself to hope.
Damn straight.
Inuyasha's chest hurt a little more every time he turned human.
Stupid new moon's in a few days, he thought as he moved the Chinese puzzle pieces.
"I sure am glad you enjoy the game," Setsumi commented with veiled amusement.
They were both sitting on a red chaise longue of sorts, but her spot had a golden, rounded back to lean against—like a throne.
Inuyasha regarded the woman indifferently. He was sitting cross-legged a respectable distance away, as he had been doing ever since he'd arrived. They were on the terrace of the floating castle. A majestic staircase ahead of them descended into the sky.
The Snow Queen seemed absorbed in the puzzle on her lap. Even though they never left the castle, she was always dressed richly, wearing the same white-furred cloak over her kimono.
"It's better than doing nothing, that's for sure," he acknowledged, observing her hands with slight interest.
The Chinese puzzle—Tangram—was Setsumi's favorite game. You had seven geometric pieces to shape into whatever you wanted: a small square, two small congruent triangles, two large congruent triangles, a medium-size triangle, and a parallelogram. She had explained to him what each shape was with a condescending smile, as if she'd doubted he would understand.
Inuyasha might have been offended if he actually cared.
Whenever the demoness touched the wooden pieces, they were covered with a sheen layer of ice. He knew she could choose whether to use her freezing touch, which meant she was doing it just for the hell of it.
Setsumi's game never looked the same. She could come up with many figures using only seven pieces: a swan, a scorpion, a woman sewing (or at least he thought she was), a chair...
Time had no meaning there, and the boy felt even more detached from reality when he was playing. It seemed his hands moved of their own accord. Looking at his own game, Inuyasha realized he always made the same three figures: a dog, a spider, and a bird.
The bird reminded him of Kagome.
Don't.
Inuyasha knew that whatever was wrong with him, it was in his chest. Four painful human nights since the incident in the clearing had convinced him of that. He could only guess it was a side effect of having been impaled by the boar demon.
With a guy on my back, no less.
He could vividly remember the pain, the sickening gurgling resonance…
Still, it didn't explain why the jagged purple markings on his cheeks kept appearing, or why his eyes looked red sometimes. He caught his reflexion now and then while walking around the castle. Setsumi never looked at him differently when these changes occurred; it seemed she didn't even see them.
The boy wondered, not for the first time, how the nobles of that place would've treated him if they were still around.
"Why am I here?" Inuyasha asked in a monotone, as if the answer didn't really matter.
"I have told you this already." Setsumi huffed, not even taking her eyes from the board. "You belong here."
"Because there's no one left?"
She paused, regarding him with mock regret. "Oh, my—I'm sorry—do you feel used?"
"No." he shrugged. "Don't much care."
"I am aware. It's a becoming trait," Setsumi decided. "Let's hope it's not your only one," she singsonged.
The half-demon didn't even blink.
Did I guess it right, then?
Inuyasha already knew Setsumi had been married to his father, and that they'd had a son. He didn't know where his half-brother could be, and the Snow Queen didn't particularly seem to care.
"I saw the tapestries in the hallways," the boy remarked. "I know your people are dead. Plague, disease, war… anyway, the dog demons are gone."
The demoness kept silent, probably sensing Inuyasha wasn't finished. Her golden eyes seemed to freeze his insides.
"I wanna know about the tapestry in my room," he resumed. "The one that shows a white-haired man striking a woman with a sword."
Setsumi lifted an eyebrow.
"She's holding a pink, rounded thing—a jewel? You know the one."
The Snow Queen put the Tangram board aside to fully face him.
"Very well, boy," she sighed exasperatedly. "When we get to the end of the story, you will know more than you do now…"
A/N: Not much action in this one, but these conversations between characters were needed.
In the fairytale, the evil mirror broke when the goblins tried taking it to heaven, so there lol. The Snow Queen is fond of Tangram, and I think Sesshomaru's mom would be, too. (You know, rationality games and such...)
Anyway, thank you for reading and reviewing, guys. I can't express how happy you make me when I read your words!
Ps: Miroku and Sango are coming.
