Just Gone

Just Gone

"I think I should call her," Dean mentioned to Sam – again – as they watched a crappy old movie in the motel room. "Just to make sure she's okay."

Sam rolled his eyes. His brother had been muttering similar things for at least the past hour. "I thought you said Buffy wanted to be alone for a little while?"

"Yeah, I know." Dean shrugged. "But she said she'd only be an hour, and it's been two. And a half. I have a bad feeling, Sammy."

"She just needs a bit of peace. It's been a hectic few days. She'll be back any minute."

"But what if she isn't?"

"Calm down, man, she will be. She's probably just relaxing by beating the crap out of some vampires, like Faith. You know her style. Just chill out."

But Dean couldn't chill out, and another half an hour of the movie passed by without him having taken anything in. Finally giving up the pretence, he stood up and began to pace. A movement outside the window drew him over.

"Faith's back," he said. "She just walked by towards her room."

Sam glanced up, beginning to feel uneasy. He had expected Faith to return long after Buffy. She had a lot more anger to work through, after all. "Maybe you should call her," he suggested. "If only to find out where she is."

Dean nodded gratefully and flipped open his cellphone. "...It went straight to voice mail," he reported after a minute.

"Maybe it ran out of battery?"

"Come on, Sam, this is Buffy. She's totally OCD about keeping her phone cell charged, just in case there's a problem with the school. God, she's in trouble, I know it!" He ran a shaking hand through his hair. "Screw this! I'm going to look for her!"

"Why don't you just wait a little-"

"Please," he begged hoarsely. "Please, Sam. Please help me find her."

It was the desperation in Dean's eyes that did it for Sam. No way could he turn down his pleas. "Okay." He nodded. "Okay, man. We'll find her. But let me get Faith first. I know she'll want to help."

"Sure, whatever. Just hurry."

Sam slipped out of the room and rushed down the hallway to Faith's room.

"Hey!" she greeted him, after opening the door. "I didn't expect to see you tonight."

"Hey, Faith. We need you-"

"Look, Sam, before you say anything, I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry, 'kay? I know I've been acting like a total ass towards you and you're the one person here who doesn't deserve it."

Her words stopped Sam in his tracks. He wasn't sure Faith had ever admitted to being in the wrong before. It was another new side to her, and he liked it a lot. "Don't worry about it, really. It's been a crazy few days. We've all been acting out of character."

She smiled and leaned against the door frame. "So, did you come to hang? The love bunnies keeping you awake?"

Sam shook himself, remembering what he was there for and getting his head back in the game. "Buffy's missing, Faith."

For a moment, worry flashed in Faith's eyes. But she was quick to mask it and take on a nonchalant expression. "Are you and Buffy taking turns or something?"

"What?"

"Nothing. Why exactly should I care again?"

"Because I know you, Faith. And if Buffy's in trouble, you'll care."

She pursed her lips. "Buffy's a big girl. She can take care of herself."

"I know that. But it's been hours since she was due back, and her phone is off."

"She never turns her phone off." A little of her mask began to slip, and small lines of worry wormed their way onto her face. "And she always checks in. She's a total freak about it."

"Now you see why we're starting to panic?"

She nodded and averted her eyes. "I guess maybe I could help you look for her. Jut because I'm pissed at her and all, doesn't mean I want her dead or nothin'."

"Thank you, Faith."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm a freakin' saint."

They searched for Buffy all night long, and Dean worried. There wasn't a single sign of her, and Dean panicked. Her phone remained switched off, and Dean became terrified. Nobody in town could remember seeing her, and Dean freaked out.

Eventually, he and Sam and Faith were forced to regroup back at the motel, exhausted and all fearing the worst.

"Maybe things here just got too much for her," Faith suggested, feeling like she was grasping for straws even as she spoke the words. "She might have just decided to head on back to Cleveland. Or somewhere else."

"No!" Dean shook his head vehemently, refusing to accept it. "No way. Buffy wouldn't leave me...she promised."

"But-"

"No, just...no. She loves me, okay? So I don't care what you think, she wouldn't leave me! Which means she must be in trouble." He span around and banged his fists against the wall. "God dammit!"

Sam and Faith shared a worried glance. They were scared for Buffy, but Dean was bordering on crazy. He was white skinned, black eyed, and had a wild edge to him.

"Dean's probably right," Sam admitted. "Buffy just wouldn't skip out like that. It's not her style. And she left all her stuff behind."

Faith nodded and slumped down in her seat. "Yeah, I know. Guess I was just hoping for a best case scenario here."

"Aren't we all."

"Why don't we all grab a couple hours sleep," said Faith. "We'll keep our cellphones on in case she calls and head back out in the morning."

"No, I'm gonna keep looking," Dean announced. "And I won't stop until I find her."

Sam rubbed his face with his hands. "Dean, dropping dead from exhaustion won't help Buffy at all."

"And neither will sitting on my ass."

He was gone before either of them had a chance to protest.

24 HOURS LATER

There was still no sign of her. Not even a whisper.

They'd thought that maybe they'd found a lead when a local barman and one of his regulars had been reported missing, but apparently their families had received notes informing them that they had simply ran away together.

Another frustrating dead end.

Dean was beyond frazzled with nerves and exhaustion, and was beginning to see things that weren't really there. More than once he'd fallen asleep on his feet, and Sam and Faith weren't faring much better.

Together, the two of them watched Dean as he sat hunched up on the bed, his head in his hands.

And then Sam sat up suddenly, his eyes widening. "Willow!" he announced, turning to Faith. "She can do that thing, right? That spell that locates people? She could do it to find Buffy!"

Faith could have slapped herself. "Man, of course! I can't believe I didn't already think of that! God, I'm dumb!"

"You're not dumb, Faith, just worried and exhausted. If your head is anything like mine right now it's a jumbled mess."

"You got that right. Pass me my cellphone, would ya?"

"Oh God," Willow moaned, as Faith explained what was going on. "OhGodohGodohGod! Are you sure?"

"She's been gone for a day and a half, Will," Faith answered. "You know that's not like Buffy. And I'm sorry we didn't tell you earlier. My head's just not been in the game."

"No, I totally understand. And you're right, Buffy wouldn't just leave. Except there was that one time she didleave. But they were under extreme circumstances, this isn't the same. You said she got it on with Dean?"

"Yeah."

"She didn't happen to stab him through the heart and send him to hell, did she?"

"No..."

"Then this probably isn't the same. Oh, this is so terrible. My tummy feels all squiggly, and that's never a good sign."

"So can you do the locator spell?"

"Yeah, of course. I'll do it myself right away. And I'll also let the others know about what's happened."

"Great. Call me when it's done, 'kay?"

It took Willow an entire seven minutes to call back. But the minutes seemed to move so slowly that Faith could have sworn it had been seven hours.

"What's the news?" she demanded.

Willow sighed. "It's not good..."

"Go on."

"She's nowhere on the map. Nowhere at all."

The blood drained from Faith's face, and her body went cold. "But that...that means she's..."

"No. No! No, I'd have felt...that the second it had happened. You would have too, I'm guessing."

Faith blew out a long sigh of relief. "Yeah, I shoulda remembered. The last time she...I felt it. So...what then? I don't get it."

"Me neither. It's kind of like, she's alive, but she doesn't exist."

"Do you think she's being cloaked like that Maggie chick was?"

"That's a possibility. I've got witches working the locator spell every half an hour though, so if she pops up, we'll know. And Giles has sent slayers out all over to look for her."

"Good, that's good."

"Faith...I'm so worried. Buffy would never run off like this, not now. So that must mean...it must mean she's in terrible trouble."

"It'll be okay, Will," Faith told her, even though she wasn't even sure she believed it herself. "It'll all be okay."

48 HOURS LATER

When she found him, Faith was going to kill him. This was the fourth time Dean had vanished within the past twelve hours, and she was getting pissed off having to look for him when she could be looking for Buffy. She spotted him, finally, beating on a vamp in a cemetery.

"Tell me where she is!" Dean screamed, punching the vampire so hard that he was knocked straight off of his feet.

"I don't know!" the vampire spat between broken fangs. "I don't even know who the hell you're talking about, you crazy asshole!"

Faith yanked Dean off of the vampire and staked the bloody mess that was the latter. "I like beating on the evil dead and all, but that was sick."

"Why'd you kill him? He was gonna tell me where Buffy is!"

"No, he wasn't-"

"How do you know?"

"Because he didn't know, Dean! And breaking your fist attacking him wasn't going to help! You have to stop going crazy, man! We need you, okay? We need sane Dean, not totally mental Dean who keeps disappearing on us! We've been looking for you for hours."

"Well you shouldn't have bothered! You should've been looking for Buffy!"

She sighed. "Let's just go meet Sam."

"Dean," Sam said later that evening, as they sat with Faith to choke down some food. "We need to talk."

Dean, grateful to have a reason to stop pushing his food around his plate, sat back and crossed his arms. "Make it quick."

Glancing at Sam, Faith stood up and began to pace. "We've been thinking...it's time we left this town."

His face quickly transitioned from annoyed to thunderous. "No!"

"She's not here any more, Dean! We've searched and we've searched, and then we searched a whole lot more. She's gone, get that? Wherever she is now, it's not here."

"It's not like we're about to stop searching for Buffy," Sam put in gently. "We just think it would be helpful to look in other places. Or maybe go back to Cleveland and see what we can do there."

"Are you both deaf or something? I said no! I'm not leaving her! What if she comes back and she's hurt and I'm not here?" His voice broke. "She'll be lost."

"I don't think she's coming back here. If we leave-"

Shaking his head, he stood up so quickly that his chair was knocked over, and stormed from the room.

Faith fell into her seat. "He can't go on like this. He'll end up killing himself."

"I've never seen him this crazy before," Sam added. "Even when Dad went missing he was in control about it. He's scaring me."

"I'm gonna go talk to him."

"Wait...maybe I should do it..."

"No, I've got it. The time for being gentle with him has passed. We've gotta be harsh if we're gonna get through to him, and I don't think you have it in you to do that to him right now."

Sam nodded ruefully, and Faith followed Dean outside. She caught up to him just as he was preparing to get into the Impala to search for Buffy again.

"Dean, just hold on and talk to me for a minute, would ya?"

His shoulders stiffened and he turned. "If you're about to start with that crap about leaving again-"

"It's not crap and you know it! Right now you're a mess and you're not thinking straight, otherwise you'd see that."

"Listen to me-"

"No, you listen! We have searched every street, cemetery, motel, every inch this town has to offer. And the area surrounding it. We've spoken to the police, the locals, and then we searched some more. She is not here! And when you stop acting crazy for just one second, you'll realize that!"

Frustrated, Dean swung around and kicked at his car. When he turned to Faith again, his eyes were red rimmed. "You and Sam obviously just don't care about her as much as-"

Faith punched him before he could even finish the sentence. "You think I don't care?" she cried. "Seriously? You asshole! I care! Dammit, I care! And before you say it, I know that this is all my fault! If it wasn't for me she'd be here, safe with us."

He stopped rubbing his sore cheek to stare at her in disbelief. "Wait, what? Faith, none of this is your-"

But Faith had finally cracked. "If I hadn't acted like such a bitch to Buffy, she never would have gone walking. She never would have been distracted. I've been totally selfish, and a hypocrite."

"What are you talking about?"

"You wanna know something? When Buffy was back in collage, I slept with her boyfriend. And back in high school I kissed another one of her boyfriends. I stabbed her in the back more times than I can count! And then when she actually fell in love with you, I jumped down her throat! So yeah, this is my fault. If I was a better friend, she'd be safe."

Dean shook his head, stepping closer to her. "Faith, don't do this. No way is this your fault!"

She didn't even seem to have heard him. She sniffed, and wiped a tear away angrily. "I didn't even mean any of that stuff I said, not really. Damn, I knew how perfect you two idiots were right from the beginning. But ever since I met her, Buffy always had it all – the perfect life, perfect friends, perfect family, perfect men. Everyone always wanted her more than me. And then you did too even though I met you first and it just made me so mad! So I went and acted like a stupid kid in a tantrum...and now she's gone."

"Faith...I love Buffy. And she loves me. But the last thing we ever wanted to do was hurt you, I promise."

She nodded. "I know. And the night I left – the night she went missing – I thought about it for hours and I realized I was being an ass. I was gonna apologize to both of you and tell you everything was cool. I was just psyching myself up to do it when Sam came and told me she was gone. If she just came home," she sobbed, openly crying now. "I could tell her."

He reached for her and pulled her into his arms. "Please don't cry," he begged.

She pulled away and looked up at him, her hands squeezing his shoulders. "We need to leave, Dean."

He dropped his head and sighed. "I know."