A/N: To make things easier, the circumstances of Inuyasha's birth in Swords of an Honorable Ruler, the third Inuyasha movie, were taken into account here.
One Last Advice
She cannot receive any power from us; she possesses it in her heart.
Kagome's thighs hurt from riding on Kirara for so long. The cat demon was panting and her movements were slowing down, but Kagome didn't have the heart to tell her to go faster.
She didn't have the heart for much anything, really. Exhaustion had a way of making even the most hopeful person lose their faith.
But I can't, Kagome thought, feeling the tell-tale pricking of her eyes. I want to see Inuyasha again. She buried her face in Kirara's soft fur, seeking some sort of comfort and protection against the cold wind—much too cold for springtime.
Kohaku's map had stopped being useful miles back, as they knew it would. Kirara and Kagome had kept going West, and now they seemed to be alone in a wasteland. The few farms Kagome saw were clearly abandoned or in very poor condition. Sango had told her she would need to be careful when asking people about a dog demon's hiding place, because they inspired loyalty wherever they were, but that didn't seem like much of a problem; there was no one around to ask. If Kirara weren't such a good hunter, they'd have both perished by now.
She had foolishly lost count of the days she'd been traveling West. All the hours seemed the same, their heaviness felt the same to her—weighing down on her shoulders, making her think of all the time she'd lost in her search. Her nights weren't much better than her days; they were spent dreaming of Inuyasha, yearning to see his face, hold his hand, take him home. She didn't care if he never loved her in return; her quest had never been about romance.
It was about saving her best friend. It was about proving he wasn't dead, proving the whole village that she could do it.
God, please, she prayed. Please, just take me to him.
A traitorous thought whispered in the back of her mind: even if it's just for closure.
As if to cut her gloomy train of thought, Kirara stopped without warning. The cat's breath hitched in her throat.
She can't take it anymore. Kagome let a few tears fall, but she didn't let herself start bawling. Wiping her eyes quickly, she patted Kirara's neck. "We should call it a day," Kagome murmured.
It was still noon; they would waste hours of daylight, but Kagome's conscience wouldn't let her make Kirara strain herself anymore. The nekomata had been doing everything she could: flying, running, hunting for the both of them, protecting them against wild creatures… Kagome felt acutely what a heavy burden she was to her demon escort.
"Let's find ourselves a nice tree to rest under," the girl said more to herself than to the cat. "Everything will turn out fine."
In the silence that followed, Kagome missed Shippo's laugh more than ever. She missed Mama, her little brother and Old Kaede; she missed two small huts near the tallest tree she'd ever laid eyes upon.
Above all else, she missed him.
"Are you afraid I'll turn on you one day?" Inuyasha asked Kagome out of the blue. They were both hunched down, planting seeds in Old Kaede's small garden.
Frowning, Kagome observed his little clawed fingers making holes in the soft, warm earth. He was so much more gentle than she.
"What do you mean?" She mumbled, paying only half a mind to what he was saying. His hands stopped moving.
Slowly, the girl looked up into her friend's worried golden eyes. "I heard the village chief talking to Old Kaede yesterday," Inuyasha said. He swallowed, knitting his already thick eyebrows together. "He told her I'll turn on her when I grow up."
"That's silly." Kagome snorted. The little girl's mocking smile faded when she saw the boy's face; Inuyasha seemed miles and miles away. The seriousness of the situation caught up to her suddenly, making her straighten her thin shoulders.
"Do you think I will?" He whispered, sounding scared. It terrified Kagome; Inuyasha wasn't scared of anything—ever. It made her pause and think hard about his question.
Inuyasha wouldn't worry about it if it weren't important.
"Do you like living with Old Kaede?" She asked.
He immediately nodded. "I miss Mom, b-but I like it. She said she ain't feeling so lonely with me here."
"Then why would you hurt her?" Kagome rolled her eyes impatiently. "I told you this is silly... Besides, mama says the chief's thick as a door."
"What's that got to do with anything?" Inuyasha grumbled.
"In the head!"
"Oh. Okay."
Satisfied she'd made her point, Kagome resumed her gardening. Inuyasha's hand stopped hers.
"You'll stop me if I ever go crazy, right?" He asked quietly. "You-You'll bring me back, right?"
Kagome wasn't stupid; she knew people were afraid of Inuyasha because of how he looked. She just couldn't see how he was afraid of himself. Didn't he know he wouldn't harm a fly?
She sighed. "I promise."
Judging from his expression, it was the right thing to do.
Kagome opened her eyes to an orange sky. Looking to her side, she saw Kirara sprawled on her stomach, still snoring. Stretching her arms above her head, the girl sat up.
"I promised I would bring you back," she murmured to herself. "I'd forgotten about that."
But you're still honoring it, Kagome's inner voice reminded her kindly. It surprised her a little; her thoughts about herself hadn't been positive or optimistic lately.
Taking a deep breath, she let her gaze follow up the dirt road they'd been on… and saw something that made her heart jump.
Smoke.
People.
Without missing a beat, she went to Kirara and touched her head. The cat demon opened her red eyes, blinking a few times.
"Sorry to wake you, Kirara," Kagome said, sounding breathless in her excitement. "But there's smoke ahead!"
The nekomata got up and turned her back to her, silently telling the girl to climb on.
It wasn't a hut, but a small cave.
The smoke was coming from inside it, promising warmth and maybe even protection against the night that had already fallen.
"E-Excuse me?" Kagome called from the mouth of the cave, not wanting to intrude in anyone's shelter—or home, she reminded herself. This person might not be human, after all.
Judging from the tensing of Kirara's paws, her last assumption was correct.
An old man with the largest eyes Kagome had ever seen—ever—came to greet them. He had a thin bun of white hair on his otherwise bald head, and a matching goatee to go with it. No human could have such large eyes and strange facial structure; it was glaringly obvious that he was a demon.
"Yes?" He asked in a hoarse voice. The moonlight illuminated the white in his eyes, making them bluish.
Kagome climbed down from Kirara's back and stood awkwardly before him. She bowed her head. "I'm sorry to bother you, sir, but…" She lifted her head, looking deeply into his eyes—begging. "I'm looking for someone, and I don't know these parts. Could you help me, please?"
The man pulled on his goatee absent-mindedly. "It's been awhile since a human last came to my door. Well, I suppose there's no helping it… Come, girl, or you'll freeze to death!"
He was already turning around, gesturing for her to follow.
Kagome paused for a moment, looking at Kirara for reassurance. There was a time when she wouldn't have hesitated, but she was another person now.
Is this a good thing? She wondered.
Upon seeing Kirara's nod, she trotted to catch up with the demon. The nekomata was right behind her.
Well, it's not like I could have refused him after asking, she admonished herself.
He gestured for them to sit around a cozy fire that burned in the middle of the cave. It's really small, Kagome thought, taking in her surroundings. There was a futon to the side with lots of pelts and blankets on top of it, and shelves made out of the stone wall containing all sorts of objects and trinkets she couldn't see clearly.
The man sat down across from her and blinked. Kagome couldn't tell for the life of her what kind of demon he was, but she thought it would be rude to ask.
"My name is Kagome," she began. "I come from Edo searching for a lost friend, and—" She paused. Princess Sango had warned her to be careful. "And I have reason to think he went West with a dog demon."
The man's face didn't change, but he stopped blinking. "I'm Master Totosai," he said. Kagome blushed, realizing she hadn't even asked. "And I know the dog demon you speak of."
Kagome tried to reign in the hopeful beating of her heart, remembering the whole fiasco with Myoga the flea demon. "You do?"
"There aren't many left, you see." Totosai sighed, pulling on his goatee. "In fact, there are only two. The demons around here are still loyal to them."
"And the humans aren't?" Kagome frowned. Princess Sango said that everyone who lived near a dog demon ended up pledging themselves to it for protection, be it human or demon.
"There was a time when they were, but not anymore. They don't remember." Totosai shrugged, grabbing his staff from the ground and resting it against his shoulder. "Humans think of dog demons as legends now—the Snow Queen story, for instance..."
Kagome's eyes widened. "I-I grew up listening to that one! She-She's real?" The girl sputtered.
"You're not very far from her castle," Totosai said offhandedly, probably not understanding how much this news meant to the peasant girl. "I take it your friend is a half-demon?"
Kagome's head swam with the implication that she was near Inuyasha. Her eyes burned and her breath hitched in her throat; she valiantly tried to stop her hysterical laugh from bubbling up. Kirara transformed into her kitten size and climbed on Kagome's lap, no doubt feeling her distress and trying to offer her some support.
"He came here with her—the Snow Queen?" She tried to focus on the demon's face, shaking her head a little. "How do you know, Master Totosai?"
"I make it my business to know what happens in that castle," Totosai said. "I was a friend of your friend's father, who was married to the Snow Queen." The old man scratched the back of his neck, seemingly lost in thought. Kagome didn't have time to process his words as he kept going. "Inuyasha is there, it's true, with her, and I gather he finds everything to his liking. Probably thinks it's the best place in the world..."
Kagome's hiccup escaped her lips before she could muffle it with her hand. As she suspected, Inuyasha hadn't been brought here against his will. He'd left Edo behind and was living in a castle with his stepmother!
Don't despair, she told herself. The look of pity the otherwise impassive demon sent her almost did her in. You came all this way already, and he can be acting like this because—
"You know, that is because he has a shard of the Shikon no Tama in his chest."
Totosai's quiet words snapped Kagome out of her spiralling thoughts. She took a deep breath, caressing Kirara's fur to calm down. "I-I met a family of demon slayers who told me that might be it, but-but how do you know for sure?"
Totosai's gaze was far away. "I'm a very old demon, girl—you wouldn't believe how old." He paused. "I've seen countless friends succumb to the lure of the jewel."
"But how do you know it's in his chest?"
"Because an old demon tree named Bokuseno, who can listen to other trees around the land, heard the boy was impaled by a boar demon in a clearing—along with a stranger on his back." Totosai fixed his tiny black pupils on her, daring her to doubt him. "How else could it have gotten inside him?"
Kagome gulped. Impaled? Oh, God…
"I need to bring him back," she murmured, thinking about the promise she'd made when they were children.
You'll stop me if I ever go crazy, right? You-You'll bring me back, right?
She didn't realize she'd spoken out loud until Totosai replied, "Then heed my words, girl: the fragment has to come out first, or he will never be himself again!" The old man lifted one of his clawed fingers. "It is the only way."
Kagome's hands grabbed onto Kirara's furr of their own accord. The cat complained with an indignant mewl, but otherwise let her vent her frustration. "How? How do I take it out of him? Can you give anything to help me?"
Totosai leaned in her direction. The fire that stood between them cast an orange glow in his ridiculously big eyes. He opened his mouth slowly, as if still pondering what he would say. Kagome braced herself.
"I can give you no greater power that you already have."
A heartbeat passed, then two.
"That's it?" Kagome screeched. Kirara leapt out of her lap and sat beside her wearily. It seemed that the ups and downs of Kagome's trip had finally made her snap. "THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME?"
Totosai blinked and pursed his lips. "I-I think it's very good advice!" He protested weakly.
Kagome got up and started pacing back and forth. Kirara went out of her way and circled the fire to sit beside the old demon.
"How can I do this?" Kagome asked no one in particular.
"You don't see your own power." Totosai huffed.
Kagome stopped dead and turned to glare at him. "Power?" She spat. "I don't know if you understand the situation, Mater Totosai, but I'm a peasant who's trying to save her half-demon friend not only from a demon queen, but from himself! I only made it this far because I had plenty of help, otherwise I'd have died three days after I left home, in the hands of a florist!" Totosai lifted his finger to speak again, but Kagome didn't let him. "I left my family without a word, I starved, I was captured, injured, ambushed, I lost so much time!"
She sat down again, her chest heaving. Power. What a joke. Burying her face in her arms, she tried to ignore the very demon whose cave she was currently inhabiting.
"You don't see." Totosai's hoarse voice was a little softer. She lifted her head cautiously, ashamed of her outburst, but too far gone to apologize. He wasn't smiling, but he didn't seem mad, either. "It sounds like you went through hell, but you are here, girl. Don't you see how both humans and demons were obliged to serve you, and how far you came without having anything to offer them in return for their help? I'm helping you right now, and you only had to ask!"
Kagome sighed dejectedly. "That's not power, Master Totosai."
"And why not?"
"Well, I can't nicely ask the shard to leave his body, now, can I?" Kagome was losing her temper again.
"Of course not, but you can ask Lady Setsumi—the Snow Queen—to get it out," the demon said. "You can get down on your knees and beg, if you must!"
Kagome felt like laughing in his face. Not even she was that naive! "How can I ask such a thing of her? What do I have to offer?"
"Nothing, just like before." Totosai shrugged. "You have nothing to lose, either."
"I beg to differ!" Kagome spat. "I have my life to lose!"
"So you'll leave him behind without trying, turn around and go on your merry way back to that wretched village of yours?"
"Ugh!" Kagome grabbed the sides of her head. "NO!"
"Then you know what to do." Totosai said simply. "Lady Setsumi isn't one to lower herself to killing a helpless human brat who couldn't possibly harm her!"
There was a moment of silence. "Why does she want him here?" Kagome asked, choosing to ignore the 'brat' part.
Totosai turned his head to the cave's entrance as if the answer were standing there. "Her son, Inuyasha's older brother, didn't want to rule; he wanted to roam the lands and fight all the most powerful beings in it. The path of supreme conquest, the foolish boy called it." Totosai sighed. "Well, it turned out to be the path of supreme ruin! He disappeared, which makes Lady Setsumi the only dog demon around—and Inuyasha, the heir."
Kagome was speechless for all of two seconds before she groaned. "She'll never let him go!" She banged her fists on the earth at the unfairness of it all.
Where was the Snow Queen when Lady Izayoi died? Kagome thought bitterly. Where was she when Old Kaede had to beg the village chief to let Inuyasha stay? Where was she?
Who is she to take him away?
When Kagome opened her mouth again, that wasn't the question that came out of it. "Why are you helping me?"
The old demon stiffened. "You asked nicely," he said. "And I was loyal to Inuyasha's father, as I told you. I don't think he would appreciate seeing his son being manipulated like this."
"And why haven't you tried to help him yourself?"
"They wouldn't have let me past the stairs!" The old demon huffed indignantly.
He's a coward, then. Kagome slowly nodded. But I guess I was lucky to stumble into him.
Well, not really lucky, she mused. It's not like there's anyone else around here. He must've been really loyal to Inuyasha's father if he's the only one who stayed.
"Where's everyone?" Kagome asked quietly. Sensing her calmness, Kirara came over and lay on her lap again. "If dog demons are so great, how come their lands are abandoned?"
Totosai rolled his eyes, a gesture she found fascinating considering their size. "The land isn't theirs, girl. There is no such thing as demon land and human land; the land is one." He paused. "It belongs to those who are stronger at the moment."
She heard what he wasn't saying: the dog demons aren't it anymore.
"Right now, the strongest is nature. There are a few demons living here, but no humans," Totosai said. "With no village or estate to offer protection, this wilderness doesn't suit their taste..."
"There's no estate around?" Kagome frowned, tensing. "But what about the castle? You said it was near!" She vaguely noticed she was sounding desperate again. Kirara mewled a warning.
"It is near," Totosai confirmed, lifting a finger again. Kagome mentally prepared herself for another vague advice, but instead he said, "up."
The madness of the blood.
Setsumi leaned her head against the door of the small room, taking a deep, calming breath. She should have known it would come to this.
Her training with Inuyasha had went surprisingly well. They met outside for a good sparring match every day, and not once had the boy lost control of his emotions. There were a few times when she saw it, the fire in his eyes which gave away his irritation, but the coldness came back immediately afterward and covered it up.
The coldness of someone who felt close to nothing. He pulled it off so well, and so young, too; she herself had needed years to master it.
Of course, she hadn't had the help of a shard of the Shikon no Tama.
'Help'. Setsumi mentally scoffed. If you can call that accursed jewel any help.
Oh, she knew she was taking advantage of the thing, but Setsumi was a realist. The shard gave you strength and a cool demeanor, but it always came with a price. Most demons payed it with their lives, having become reckless in their fearlessness; half-demons, it seemed, payed with their minds.
Her husband's blood was very strong, and Inuyasha had been subjected to it for far too long. The jewel kept it close to the surface at all times, making him smell and look like a full demon, but it was an illusion. There was still something human about his body, about his nature, and Lord Toga's blood was too strong for him to handle it.
Damn, Setsumi thought, banging her fists against the door at her back in a rare show of irritation. She accidentally released her power, making a sheen layer of ice cover the wooden surface.
Three days back, Inuyasha had woken up with his eyes red. She hadn't seen those icy-blue pupils since his complete transformation, and she was taken aback by how savage he looked (even with the armor and the mane of white hair styled into a ponytail).
"Good morning, boy," she'd said when he showed up at the courtyard, but her tone wasn't playful or scornful; just slightly apprehensive.
He hadn't answered. Inuyasha just kept looking at her, looking at her and seeing her. His fingers were twitching, but otherwise he made no move. Setsumi felt the strange urge to lower her head, but it was a ludicrous feeling; she would never. She hadn't bowed to anyone in so long; not since—
She lost her train of thought when he pounced, pinning her to the ground with a feral snarl. The thirst for blood was there in his eyes, but his eyebrows were furrowed, showing his inner fight not to slit her throat then and there.
Setsumi was way stronger than he, though. She wasn't scared, only surprised.
"Leave me alone," he rasped, "or you'll regret it."
She let him go, feeling strangely detached from the situation. Setsumi was a very old demoness, although her appearance didn't show it. She was not an expert in the workings of the Shikon no Tama, and she certainly was no expert in half-demons, but she thought she could guess what was happening to Inuyasha.
He kept to himself for the two subsequent days, but she found his tracks, so to speak, in her throne: pieces of the Tangram puzzle forming a bird. She was oddly relieved for it; it showed that even if he were incapable of speech, at least his mind was still functional.
Luckily for her, Setsumi had just what she needed to revert this situation.
If there ever comes a time when my second son needs it, Lord Toga had told her, make sure he gets my Tetsusaiga. It won't do Sesshomaru any good.
Are you denying our son what is his by right? Setsumi had asked calmly, refusing to show him her exasperation. She and Toga were still good friends before he died, even though their marriage had unofficially ended years before.
He will get the West, the castle, the subjects, and Tenseiga. I find it quite sufficient.
But why would a half-demon need a sword like Tetsusaiga? What use would he have for it?
Lord Toga had looked deeply into her eyes, willing her to understand. As strong-willed as Setsumi was, she was never able to deny him anything. I'll put a seal in it. My blood is too strong, and it may overcome the boy. If his life is ever in danger, my blood will take over to protect him, and it might not get back under control.
She had had to freeze the sword's scabbard to be able to touch it, since Toga had taken precautions against their son's greedy nature and made Tetsusaiga untouchable to any demons. It was kept in this room she was now standing in, locked away from the prying eyes of curious servants.
Setsumi never thought she'd need to give it to Inuyasha. It was to her knowledge that the boy led a simple, boring life in a small village far away from the West. Why would a peasant boy ever be in danger enough for his demon blood to awaken?
It was certainly awake now. The jewel's evil disposition had done it.
But here's my dilema, Setsumi thought, stepping away from the door. If I give him the sword, it will subdue his demonic side, but it is also likely to snap him out of the jewel's influence.
The frozen Tetsusaiga was hanging on the wall in front of her. She could feel its power humming beneath the ice, could vividly remember the fleeting pain of touching it before letting her power envelop it.
He will want to go home.
Setsumi remembered Inuyasha's Tangram bird on her throne.
He will want his Kagome.
Could she deny Toga's son his sanity just to keep him there? To save a bloodline bound to doom anyway?
Ryukotsusei has come to know the location of this castle, she remembered Toga's baritone voice saying. I'll be leaving now to kill him.
What about your human woman? Isn't she in labor as we speak? Setsumi had asked. She wasn't jealous of Lady Izayoi; the Snow Queen had had her share of lovers as well, but she hadn't been dumb enough to get pregnant.
I cannot let him attack this house, Toga had said. With one last, long look in her direction, he turned around to leave. I trust you with the Tetsusaiga, Setsumi, as I have with everything else.
Back then, The Inu no Taisho didn't even live in the floating castle anymore, favoring a wandering life instead. He fought the dragon Ryukotsusei to protect the legacy of the dog demons, protect their son's inheritance—protect her, the elusive queen who still lived there. After having defeated their enemy, he ran to Izayoi's estate only to find out that the human staff had rebelled against their lady and her half-demon newborn.
He was already injured from his fight against the dragon. It had been too much.
He died trying to be a good father to both his sons.
I'm sorry, Toga, Setsumi thought regretfully. She exited the room to search Inuyasha out, leaving the sword—his possible salvation—where it was. I can't let your youngest go.
Unfortunately, fate has deemed him our last hope.
The fields passed by in a green blur, but Kagome's mind hadn't been this clearer in awhile.
She had woken up in Master Totosai's cave that morning feeling amazingly calm. Even though his suggestion of simply asking Setsumi to take the shard out of Inuyasha was naive at best, Kagome didn't have any other plan. She hadn't really thought about what she'd do once she found out where Inuyasha was.
It can't be very different from what I would have ended up doing, anyway, she thought wryly.
Kirara flew only a few centimeters above the ground, sparing her strength for the difficult ascent to the castle. Totosai had warned Kagome that it was very high; possibly higher than Kirara had ever had a need to fly.
Kagome patted her neck lovingly. "If it all goes well, you'll get rid of me soon enough," she joked. The cat huffed above the noise of the wind.
Looking at the dirt road ahead, Kagome wondered, not for the first time, what must the Snow Queen be like. Would she be evil? Would she be kind?
She thought of Kikyo, the Robber Girl. People aren't only one thing…
But the idea of having to beg for Inuyasha's freedom to a woman who had never taken an interest in his life (and frankly, who sounded like a snob) made her stomach twist in unpleasant knots. The girl wanted him to give one look at her face and turn his back on this newfound stepmother of his.
In her fantasy, Kagome would smirk at an old, ugly lady as she took his hand and led him away.
Can't hurt to dream, even if it's a little petty.
She had thought about a million ways to phrase her request, but had eventually given up. Rehearsing what she'd say never did her any good. Kagome didn't have any idea how the Snow Queen would react to her presence, so making a script was fruitless.
I'll be completely at her mercy, for better or worse.
The dirt road beneath Kirara's paws was starting to fade, and the trees were starting to space out. Totosai had given Kagome a few specifics about the place where they'd have to start going up.
It's an open field, he'd said. You won't see any trees or rocks there.
It's big. You'll know it when you see it.
Kagome found it clever of the dog demons; if she were an enemy, she'd expect something to mark the place. Nothing could be more unassuming than a plain field of grass.
For what felt like two hours later, they found themselves in it.
Kirara stopped.
Kagome looked around at the expanse of greenery, thinking about Totosai's parting words to her.
Convincing your friend that he has to get rid of the jewel shard might be even harder than convincing Lady Setsumi.
She lifted her head to gaze at the clouds above. The wind seemed to pick up and shift.
Kagome inhaled. "Let's go, Kirara," she urged quietly.
But if your familiar face doesn't do it, girl, nothing will.
With an impulse from Kirara's forepaws, up they went.
A/N: Totosai's equivalents in the fairytale are the Lapland Woman and the Finland Woman. I wanted him to be like those old spiritual guides who show up to tell you what you need to do, but don't do anything themselves. The world's full of them, really, lol.
Don't judge Setsumi too harshly; I told you there aren't any villains per se in this story. She's a woman alone with a legacy on her shoulders...
There will be inukag on the next chapter, you can be sure of that. ;)
Please, guys, review! You haven't the faintest idea how your words motivate me (even a single one). Thank you for reading!
