It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you
-"I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor
Santa Barbara: 2019
"That wasn't too bad, eh?" Henry glanced at Shawn who sighed and stared down into his mug. "Come on Shawn lighten up." Henry patted Shawn's shoulder.
"You should've told me she was coming over." Shawn hissed glaring at his father.
"Who comes over to see me in my house is none of your business. So watch the attitude kid." Henry reprimanded him. Shawn rolled his eyes and gazed down at the wooden table, picking at the splinters. Henry continued moving about in the kitchen. He ignored Shawn's subtle pouting and began to wash up the cups they'd just used.
The door burst open and feet came running through the hall, "Daddy!" Zuri ran straight to Shawn and jumped on his lap.
"Zuri!" Shawn screamed grabbing the table to keep himself from falling.
"I'm sorry Goose, she got away from me." Maddie apologized entering the room.
"It's alright Ma." Shawn looked at his daughter, "You know better than to run in the house."
"Sorry." Zuri's shoulders slumped.
Shawn sighed but smiled, "But look at you. All wet and covered in sand. Did you have fun?"
"Yes!" Zuri began to bounce on his lap, "Grandma took me to the park and I got wet and sandy and we got ice cream and-!"
"Slow down! Maddie, how much ice cream did you give her?" Henry smirked at his wife motioning to their bouncing granddaughter.
"One scoop. I swear." Maddie chuckled.
"How big of a scoop?" Shawn asked as Zuri stood up on his lap and pressed down on his face to reach a picture on the wall.
"Well…." Maddie trailed off with a laugh.
"Umpf!" Shawn made a noise as Zuri continued to press down on his face. "Come here." Henry grabbed her off Shawn's head and held her at arm's length, her feet dangling.
"Grandpa!" Zuri tried to get away.
"Nu uh, not in my nice clean house you're not. Bath." He handed her over to Shawn who had stood up.
"I don't like baths!" Zuri squirmed in Shawn's arms. "I don't care." Henry pointed upstairs. Shawn grasped his daughter tighter and walked up the stairs.
"Good for you Henry," Maddie leaned up against the counter.
"What?" Henry looked at her, "She needs to learn." He went back to cleaning up the dishes in the sink.
"I've never heard you talk to her like that, ever." Maddie grabbed the dripping dishes and dried them off.
"Well Shawn doesn't." Henry grabbed a sponge and cleaned off a plate from the night before.
"Can you blame him? She's got him, you, and I wrapped around her little finger." Maddie placed the tableware in a dry rack by the sink.
"Being an only child with one parent and two grandparents can make a kid do that." Henry flipped on the garbage disposal. "She's spoiled. There's nothing wrong with that." Maddie looked at Henry who nodded.
"I'm going to help Shawn." Maddie motioned upstairs where they heard screaming by both Shawn and Zuri. "Good luck." Maddie placed a kiss on Henry's cheek before rushing up the stairs. "Noo!" She heard Zuri yell.
"Mom!" Maddie bent down and grabbed the naked running Zuri, carrying her back to the bathroom. "Thanks." Shawn mumbled grabbing his daughter and placing her into the tub.
"It's cold." She whined stomping her foot.
"No it's not." Shawn argued with her.
"Meany!"
"Zuri Abiria Spencer! You stop it this instant. You listen to your father, and if I ever hear you speak to him like that again there will be trouble young lady." Maddie shook her finger at Zuri. Shawn blushed red and looked down at the water. Zuri sat down and gave Shawn the bar of soap that had been sitting in a holder. "Are we going to listen to daddy?" Zuri nodded quickly. "Good." Maddie backed up and sat down on the closed toilet seat lid.
"Thanks mom…" Shawn grabbed a washcloth and wet it before applying soap and rubbing down Zuri's arms.
"You should be more strict Goose." Maddie took a towel from the rack across from her.
"I try ma, I just can't." He carefully washed the soap from Zuri's hair and looked her over. When he was sure he'd gotten all the soap off, his mom handed him the towel and he scooped Zuri up.
"I feel clean." She giggled. Shawn and Maddie laughed while he rubbed her back.
"That's what happens when you take baths." Shawn carried her over to his room and placed her onto the bed. "Always?" Zuri looked at her grandma for an answer.
"Always." Maddie leaned against the door frame. Zuri looked down and took the shirt Shawn handed her. She slowly put it on, "Daddy do we have bunny panties?" She shook her head at the plain white ones Shawn handed her. He sighed but went back to the suitcases to look. "I like bunnies." She smiled over to Maddie.
"Your daddy did too." Zuri stepped into the underwear Shawn gave her and held up the pants for him to help put on her. Once he got her legs in the right places Shawn pulled up the jeans and buttoned it at the top. Shawn moved to put socks on her but Zuri kicked them under the bed. "Sorry daddy…" Shawn lifted up the bed covers and reached inside. Instead of pulling out socks he pulls out a box.
"What's this?" He opened the box and looked inside. "Wha…" He went speechless at the box.
"Zuri, go see your grandpa downstairs." Zuri didn't argue and ran down. "Goose I…"
"How did you get these?" Shawn pulled out his nameplate that used to sit on his desk at the Psych office.
"Gus packed them up and brought them over after you left. Your dad put them under the bed, he meant to ship them to you, but he never got around to it." Maddie explained. Shawn only half heard her as he shifted through the box. He pulled out different little knickknacks, random pieces of paper and a smaller black box at the bottom. "Why would you keep this?" he held up the box to show his mother.
"What was I supposed to do?" Maddie whispered.
"Get out." Shawn said.
"What?"
"Get out!" Shawn screamed getting up and shutting the door behind his mother. He slid down the wall onto the floor and opened the box. He pulled out several envelopes and opened up the last one at the top.
Dear Shawn,
You better feel lucky that I'm writing this right now. Carlton saw me and practically teased me to the point where I almost threw it away. Thankfully Karen came out and made him go away. How was your day? I missed you last night. I really hate it when you leave on those work trips, they're far too long. Even if it was for only a day. Anyhow, I love you. Call me when you get this okay?
Much love,
Juliet O'Hara
Shawn put the letter back into its envelope and read the others that were in the box. By the time he'd finished the light outside had grown dim and Shawn rested his head against the door and waited for tears to start running down his face. None came. He rubbed his nose on his sleeve. He pushed the box under his bed and stood up. He walked down the stairs and stood by the front door, "Dad, can I take your truck?" Shawn asked
"Sure." Henry tossed his keys to Shawn.
"Where you going?" Zuri's head popped up from behind the couch.
"Stay with grandma and grandpa, I'll be back." Shawn shut the door behind him and put on the jean jacket he'd grabbed from the hook. He walked over to his dad's truck and started the engine. He pulled down the street and rolled down the window, letting in the cool night air. He hadn't thought of Juliet in almost two years. A record for him. Even after Zuri had been born something always made him think of her. The way he would see someone read a book reminded him of Juliet's concentration when she was reading something interesting. Or the way someone would sniff a fruit at the store. Everything held a memory of her, and he held onto those memories when he couldn't hold on to something else.
The first few months after he left had been the hardest. He couldn't go hours without breaking down into crying fits. There had been many nights when he stood at a payphone and dialed her number only to get her answering machine or a grumpy "Who is it?" when he called at three in the morning. And every time he hung up and left no message. Within four months he called her again, determined to speak to her- simply to find out that she had changed her number. After that he tried his best to stay away from anything that reminded him of Juliet, Lassiter, Gus and even Karen. He needed and wanted to move on. It became easier once he had Zuri. He began to replace the memories of Juliet with Zuri. When he saw someone concentrate on a book, he remembered the first time Zuri read a book on her own. Soon enough he almost forgot she had even existed. However he knew a piece of his mind and heart would always belong to Juliet, his Jules- and there was nothing he could do to make it go away.
Santa Barbara: 2013
"Shawn stop it!" Juliet swatted at her boyfriend.
"Come on Jules! It's your day off. Get your nose out of the book and let's go swimming." He tried once again to remove the book from her hands.
"We just ate," She giggled, "So unless you want to get cramps and drown, be my guest."
"If I drown will you perform CPR on me?" Shawn wiggled his eyebrows. Juliet laughed and kissed his cheek. Shawn smiled and relaxed back into the tree that was behind him. Juliet shifted around so she was nestled between Shawn's legs and her back was leaning against his chest. "What are you reading?" he placed his chin on the top of her hair.
"Alice in Wonderland." Juliet mumbled flipping a page in her book.
"Haven't you read that like a million times before?" Shawn wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer.
"Haven't you seen the Breakfast Club like a million times before?" She shot back.
"It's a classic."
"So is this. Now hush so I can read." Shawn looked around and grinned to himself. He moved his hands up and began to tickle her sides. "Shawn I swear!" She yelled with laughter as he picked up the assault on her sides. The book fell to the ground near his leg as Juliet tried to push his hands away.
"Your resistance only makes it worse!" Shawn didn't know what hit him. One moment he was tickling his girlfriend and the next he was laying back first on the grass and the wind was knocked out of his lungs.
"I told you to stop." Juliet beamed down at him. She was straddling his waist and pinned his arms next to his sides.
"Not fair Jules, you have training." Shawn whined trying to move his arms.
"It is too fair Shawn. I told you to stop." Juliet released one of his arms and tapped his nose with her free hand. "I love you Jules." Shawn grinned.
"I love you too you big idiot." Juliet leaned down and pecked Shawn's lips.
Santa Barbara: 2019
He pulled into a spot next to a blue Prius and got out of the truck. He walked inside the store and waved to the sales person behind the checkout counter. Shawn walked down the aisles and took a left. He browsed the shelves looking for a particular book. "Aha!" He smiled and tipped the books spine off the shelf and pulled it out. He turned around and walked back to the checkout counter.
"Find everything you need?" The man asked ringing up the book.
"Yes sir." Shawn nodded handing the man a credit card.
"Thank you, come again." Shawn nodded his thanks and bumped into a plant. He bent to pick up his bag when he heard a voice from behind him, "I'm sorry Miss. Someone just bought our lost copy."
"Darn." Shawn's eyes widened.
"How long ago? Maybe I can catch up to 'em and buy the book from them." The woman spoke.
"He's right there." Shawn froze with his hand on the books cover.
"Excuse me sir?" Shawn stood up slowly. As he turned around his heart began to beat wildly in his chest. "Shawn?" the woman gasped.
"Jules."
Dun dun duuuuh. I brought Shawn face to face with Juliet! And I ended the chapter there, whoopise daisy. Hope you enjoyed!
