littlemssstrawberry: Ahmed and Kisaka will show up eventually. But "eventually" isn't for a while. XD

Jodeist: Some things never change. Problem is, Flay is without someone to manipulate so she's in a bit of a spot. XD

nisey610: Thank you for your kind words, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

mffz: I'm glad you understand everything better. ^^ The differences in the story stem from the mere fact that Cagalli and Kira are different people. It's already changed the story. Cagalli being in Kira's position has changed Athrun's thought process, and changed the circle of friends, etc. So even though we're currently following the SEED path, the way they're getting there is different just because of Cagalli's actions.

Here's the next chapter!


Chapter Seven: Empty Spaces

Miriallia and I shared a room together for the night, and, much to my surprise, I went out like a light. You would think I would be too nervous, too energetic, too scared, to fall asleep, but once I put the covers over myself, I realized that all of your emotions and rampant thoughts give way to sheer biological impulse.

Which, in this case, is sleep.

The artificial gravity system extended to sleeping quarters, which was a lucky break. In an emergency, there were these tight cots pretty much nailed to the walls we were supposed to get in, they were supposed to keep people from floating away while asleep. I looked at one out of sheer curiosity, and I could already tell that it was something I would never want to experience for myself. And if I don't want to sleep in these cots, I can't imagine how the rest of the civilians would think.

They gave out military uniforms to all of the civilians who volunteered. The way you could tell the difference was that the civilians all wore plain uniforms. No decorations, no ranks. Just plain blue uniforms signifying the rank-and-file, only without even a private's lone chevron.

I woke up to discover Tori sitting on my nose.

"Oh great," I murmured. "You always pick the worst moments to pop in."

Tori chirped.

"Yeah, that's what you always say," I replied.

Miriallia laughed from the bunk above me. "Tori took off during all of the chaos in the hangar bay yesterday. The military guy who handed it to me said that the bird drove everybody nuts while they were maintaining the Strike. Sounds to me like Tori was looking for you."

"He could've found me faster," I said.

"Yeah, most likely," Miriallia said.

I looked at the clock. Time meant nothing in space, but people still set clocks. They were set to Greenwich Mean Time in Earth Forces vessels.

In other words, the exact opposite from Orb. Orb citizens always set their clocks to Tokyo. Greenwich was halfway across the world. Thus, instead of waking up in the morning, it was actually night according to the Earth Forces.

I noted sardonically that meant my day of hell technically wasn't over yet.

Tori got off my nose and fluttered around the cabin and sat down on a random table. It chirped again, and then its eyes darkened to black. Now that it was woken me up, it expected to sleep. Or whatever passed for "sleep" in its little robotic brain.

How . . . pet-like of it.

The top bunk had been taken by Miriallia. I didn't complain about it, Miriallia, along with every other Orb civilian onboard, was having a rough go of it too. Even those who hadn't volunteered to fight still had to make do with reduced supplies and facilities.

I guess that because I was the pilot of the Strike, I could've demanded the top bunk, but I wanted to be nice to Miriallia. She was my best friend. I knew she liked Tolle and the fact that I had pretty much stolen him away from her had to hurt. I just wanted her to know that I cared about her. That I would always appreciate her continued friendship despite what could have torn us apart.

The alarm went off then. Murrue's voice came over the loudspeaker. "All authorized personnel, report to battle stations. I repeat, all authorized personnel, report to battle stations. This is not a drill. ZAFT cruisers are in the immediate vicinity."

Miriallia sighed, and then jumped off the top bunk, skipping the ladder entirely. "I'm going to head to the bridge, Cagalli."

"You and Tolle managed to get bridge duty?" I asked, pleasantly surprised.

"Yeah. In fact Sai and I have Mobile Suit duty. So I'm coordinating you, Coordinator."

I sighed. "You just had to say that."

"If I didn't, Tolle would. Now I have to tell him I beat him to it first," Miriallia said, as she took off for the outside. "Good luck, Cagalli."

"Thanks. I'll be ready to go really soon," I replied.

I popped a couple more anti-spacesickness pills and floated down the hallway. I hoped that eventually my body would get used to being weightless and I wouldn't have to keep taking these. Of course, preferably, I wanted to be on Earth as soon as possible, but considering how crappy the last twenty-four hours or so had been, I wasn't counting on such a lucky break.

As I made it to the hangar, I bumped into Lieutenant La Flaga. He seemed to be waiting for me. "Yo."

"Yo yourself."

"I get that a lot. Anyway, Cagalli, you're not going out there alone. The Moebius Zero's been repaired enough to deploy too."

"That's your Mobile Armor, right?"

"Good guess. You're right. What happened is that our attempt to trick the ZAFT by firing a decoy and then floating to Artemis by inertia didn't go according to plan."

"You did say this are ZAFT special forces."

"Had to try. Anyway, here's the plan. You're going to distract them by flying around and acting all GUNDAM-y."

"That sounded wrong."

"I'm aware of that." Mu cleared his throat. "Anyway, I'm going to go after the lead ship, a Nazca-class called the Vesalius. I'm going to destroy it, or at least disable it. That'll hopefully strand all of the Mobile Suits who go after you and the Archangel. Then it's just a matter of outlasting them until we either get to Artemis or they run out of power, whichever comes first."

"Sounds excessively risky. To me."

"We're all risking our lives out there, princess."

"I'm not a princess."

Mu facepalmed. "Also, lighten up when things are directed at you. I noticed you had great fun mocking that one pilot but didn't take it so well when he insulted you."

I couldn't meet his gaze then. I knew what he was saying, and I couldn't argue the point. "I . . . I know."

"You have to learn how to take things in stride, princess."

"I'm not a princess."

"What, you prefer being called a boy instead?"

I gritted my teeth, and bit back my inevitably immature retort. My facial expression had to give away my feelings, though, because Mu said "That's what I thought. You can't let every little thing affect you, especially out there in combat."

"Let's just get this over with," I said.

Mu sighed. "Right. I'll see you soon."

As he floated away, I went up towards the Strike, where, unsurprisingly, Kira was there still messing with the systems.

"You know, prince, unless you feel like being a frozen corpse, you might want to get out of here. I'm launching really soon and they're going to have to let the air out," I said.

Kira nodded. "I know. But I'm just about finished."

"With what?"

"You now have the Launcher Pack installed so you have long-range capability, though I doubt that'll work in this battle. Also, I've tried to make the interface as close to a ZAFT model as much as I can. I'm trying to make this as simple for you to pilot as well."

"Thank you," I said.

Kira smiled. 'Also, I managed to extend your battery life with all three packs just a little bit. It's not much, though. Phase Shift isn't going to last forever."

"I know. I'll be more careful with it this time," I said. "No more panicking and firing like I'm crazy."

"That'll be helpful," Kira said with a smile.

I heard Mu yell from down the hangar. "Look, princess, either marry him or get ready to launch! You're going first!"

Kira sighed. "He's right, you do have to go first. You're the decoy if I remember correctly."

"You're aware of the plan?" I asked.

"I was there when they planned it, so yeah," Kira said. "But I know you'll make it back. You're a good pilot and hopefully everything at your disposal will be enough for you to keep coming back."

"Thank you. I promise."

Kira left the cockpit then, and I sighed as I put the helmet on and activated the systems.

I was not looking forward to this.

One thing Kira did successfully was make launching the GUNDAM much easier. Controls still felt a little wonky but they were also an improvement. It didn't feel like it took as many buttons to get what I wanted ready to go. Miriallia also made sure I got the Aile Pack right away, I had a feeling I was going to need this more than the Sword Pack.

The Archangel was firing barrage after barrage at the enemy, which I couldn't quite see. Then Miriallia came on the line again, and it turned out I preferred not knowing what the enemy was.

"Cagalli, they've sent all four GUNDAMs out. It's going to be four on one."

"What? Me against four GUNDAMs?"

"That's right. They are the Duel, Buster, Aegis, and Blitz. Blitz in particular looks nasty, it's got a stealth capability."

"Thanks, Miri. I'll try not to die."

"Just trying to give you a heads-up, Cagalli. I've got your back. By the way, Moebius Zero's launched. Just get their attention so they don't notice Mu sneaking up on them."

"Right. Get their attention." I looked up ahead, and the GUNDAMs were getting really close to the Archangel. That was something I couldn't allow to happen. "Oh, what the hell."

I fired a few random shots at the distant shapes, and suddenly two of them came a lot closer really fast.

Yeah, I had definitely caught their attention.

And guess who was in the lead but the Aegis? And I was being hailed yet again.

There was no hesitation in picking it up this time. I figured that if Athrun was going to talk to me, he wouldn't want his buddies shooting at me any more than I did. After all, he was going to try to recruit me like he did last time.

And yes, there was Athrun. "You're still in that thing."

"I have to be," I said.

"If it's shelter you're looking for, we can provide it, Cagalli. I sitll care about you. I don't want to fight you."

"Good, neither do I. You and your friends get out of here and we'll pretend we're not flying these things," I said.

Athrun sighed. "Cagalli, if you're going to die for shelter you can have with ZAFT . . ."

"I picked up an escape pod, Athrun."

"A what?"

"I picked up an escape pod from Heliopolis. It had my friends inside. I have to protect them, Athrun. They don't deserve to die out here."

"That's an excuse!"

"I don't consider my friends to be an excuse, Athrun! I will protect them and that's final!"

Athrun fell silent. Then I heard a harsh voice pop up on his com. "Athrun, stop talking to your fake Natural-loving girlfriend and get out of the way."

Suddenly, I saw the Duel charge past the Aegis. That must be "Yzak".

I heard Athrun shout "Yzak, wait!"

I had no choice. I opened fire on the Duel as it charged me, and I forced it to back off. But then I found myself being surrounded by the other two GUNDAMs, Blitz and Buster. They had left the Archangel and had decided to join in on the fun of knocking Athrun's "Natural-loving fake girlfriend" around.

I was already becoming surrounded.

But here came the Aegis. It had transformed into a Mobile Armor, and I uncomfortably noted that it looked like a massive pincer now.

I was in trouble.

I shot at them all over and over as I forced them to keep away from me. I heard Athrun shout at me "Cagalli, please! I don't want you to get killed! Stop shooting at us!"

"Forget it, Athrun!"

"I still remember the park, Cagalli! I still remember it!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I am not losing my best friend to this war! Not now!" Athrun yelled.

I was so sick and tired of him yelling at me that I just shot at the Aegis out of annoyance. Athrun yelped in surprise, and I got a small hint of satisfaction out of that.

Buster fired at me, and I barely got out of the way in time. I nearly shot at it next, but the Duel was making another saber charge. I shot at "Yzak" again and the Duel had to back off, lest he eat a barrage.

The targeting system was a lot better than before. I was shooting with accuracy, and it was only the skill of the pilots that were preventing me from causing any real damage. Kira really had been working hard on this thing for me. I made a mental note to myself that if I survived this, this required more than a simple "thank you". This was entering "give him a gift" territory.

I heard Mu on the com. "Got 'em, Cagalli! The Vesalius has been hit! I'm on my way back, just try to hold out!"

"Easier said than done," I growled, and opened fire on them all, even Athrun.

I didn't want to shoot at Athrun. But I was uncomfortably realizing that the pincer was just big enough to grab a GUNDAM. I had the feeling that Athrun's plan was to carry me away from the Archangel and back towards his ship.

The Blitz turned invisible then. The stealth technology, which I learned later was called "Mirage Celloid", was doing a good job at hiding the Blitz's presence, it looked like any other part of the starry surroundings. I fired madly where the Blitz had vanished, and, much to my surprise, the Blitz reappeared into view, smoking, and the Phase Shift Armor only now turning on.

"Good job, Cagalli!" Miriallia yelled. "Natarle says that the Blitz can't use Phase Shift in stealth mode! Good thinking!"

The truth was that I wasn't thinking, I was already on the edge of outright panic. But the Blitz seemed to want to retreat, which had to be a good sign. Making things three-on-one would greatly increase my odds of survival.

I was down to less than fifty percent in energy after just ten minutes of fighting. I couldn't keep this up all day.

Suddenly, Athrun slammed into me from behind, and I was indeed enveloped by the Aegis' pincers. I tried to struggle, but Athrun would not let go.

Athrun spoke then. "Cagalli, stop fighting. This way, you don't have to worry about your friends at all. You can surrender with dignity."

"You think me being carried away from you is dignified? What the hell did your father do to your brain?" I snapped.

"I still remember the park, Cagalli."

"Oh yeah?"

"You remember it too, don't you?"

I bit my lip. "I do."

"Then you must understand why I can't let you do this. We can fight together, Cagalli. I will vouch for you. You will be happy here. I promise."

I wanted to believe him. He had been my friend since kindergarten. But I thought about Tolle, and Miriallia, and every single Orb citizen onboard the Archangel, and I knew I could not abandon them.

"Miri, can the Phase Shift take the Aile Pack blowing up?"

"What?" Miriallia cried.

Natarle stepped in then. "It theoretically can but it'll falter really fast afterwards. Disconnect from the Aile Pack the moment you set it to blow."

"Get the Sword Pack ready to launch. I'm going to blow the Aile Pack and try to get out of here. It's my only chance."

I heard a brief pause, and then Natarle said "If it's the only way. Do it."

I was about to hit it when the Moebius Zero blasted Athrun from behind.

He cried out, and the jolt sent me spiraling out of the Aegis' grasp. The Strike's warning systems were going off, I had taken damage, but it was still operable. More importantly, I had damaged the Blitz and now the Aegis was damaged too. But the cost of that was that my battery was close to toast, I had wasted so much power struggling in the Aegis' grasp that I was down to five percent.

I flew for my life, the Buster shooting at me wildly and the Duel in rapid pursuit, as the Aegis smoked wildly. I saw the Blitz power towards the Aegis, presumably to check on Athrun.

I heard Athrun whisper to me then. "Cagalli, nothing will make me stop caring."

That made me freeze. "What?"

That's when Buster hit me. And took out the rest of my Phase Shift with it.

The Duel was coming right for me. And my heart stopped.

I was going to die.

This wasn't how I wanted to die. I wanted to die of old age in some bed somewhere, not getting impaled and melting or god-knows what happens to people who get skewered by a GUNDAM sword.

Then the Duel was hit hard by a barrage. And I heard Mu's voice. "You all right, princess?"

"I'm fine, and I'm not a princess," I whispered.

Mu sighed. "You know, a 'thank you' could suffice."

Murrue spoke then. "Cagalli, we've launched a Sword Pack. Install your battery, hurry!"

I saw the Sword Pack coming, and accelerated my dying Mobile Suit right towards it. The Duel recovered from Mu's barrage enough to try to rush me again. It knew what I was doing and wanted to prevent it by all means. Mu, for his part, kept Buster and Blitz from interfering by being a general nuisance. The Aegis, for its part, seemed to be retreating out of the battle.

I installed the Sword Pack right as the Duel was aout to cleave me in half.

"Go away!"

I sliced the Duel's left arm off in one swift motion.

The Duel froze, as if stunned by what I had done.

I had no choice. Athrun's wingman or not, I had to kill "Yzak" or "Isaac" or whatever his name was in order to survive. But as I aimed to stab him in the torso, the Blitz had managed to get by Mu and took a few shots at me. The Phase Shift absorbed them, but the Blitz had distracted me enough for the Duel to pull back.

Then the Blitz retreated as well, acting as rearguard while the other GUNDAMs blasted away. It occurred to me that they had to have limited battery lives as well. I wasn't the only one running with limited energy. They could use theirs up just as quickly as I could.

I was going to live.

All at once, it felt like I had rejoined reality. I was gasping for air, like I had held my breath for that entire battle without realizing it. I noticed my face was soaked in sweat, so much so that it was dripping on my helmet. It was all stress, not because of work. I'm in zero gravity, so my arms and legs weren't tired at all. But the sheer stress had left me feeling like I had run a marathon.

I heard Mu's voice. "We did good work, kid. Now let's head back. I don't think Le Creuset is going to be in any mood for a round two."

I didn't like being called "kid" that much but it was better than "princess". "Right, Lieutenant."

I hoped he was right. I wasn't in the mood for a "round two" either.

The first thing I did after landing the damaged Strike was to march (and float) to my sleeping quarters and collapse. The first two fights I had were mere warm-ups. That had been the real thing. War in all of its ambiguity and horror.

Who knew how badly I had hurt Athrun. Who knew how long it would be before ZAFT attacked us again?

I just wanted to sleep. Sleep and forget everything I had done.

But it was impossible. I had nearly made another a big mistake. One that could've killed Athrun. I had been about to blow the Aile Pack right in Athrun's face. That could've killed him.

And his last words to me hinted that he still loved me.

If this was calculated to make me conflicted, he had a good plan. I was conflicted. Realizing you're loved by a friend-turned-enemy does that to you. At least, that was my impression of Athrun. It seemed he had never quite let me go when we went our separate ways back at the academy.

For a girl so often called a boy, whether by genuine accident or by harmful teasing, why was I attractive to two actual boys? Why was Athrun so obsessed with getting me back? And why did Tolle care for me when the more feminine Miriallia Haw was right there? She was a normal girl. It was becoming rapidly clear that I wasn't.

Miriallia entered the room then. "Oh, so there you are. You kinda took off on us."

"I'm tired. Close the door."

Miriallia sighed as she closed it. "Tolle's worried about you, you know. He doesn't understand why you'd just take off."

"I'll tell him I'm sorry later," I promised. "I just need to crash for a little bit. I'm tired, exhausted, and terrified."

"You, terrified?"

"You would be too if you were in my position," I said.

Miriallia chuckled. "Yeah, most likely. Everybody's shaken up even though the Archangel didn't do a ton of fighting. You and Mu took care of all of the fighting, but everyone's a bunch of nerves. Especially civilians like us who volunteered."

"That doesn't surprise me," I said. "I doubt any of the civilians have military experience. This is new to them."

There was a brief silence. "I think you got through to the skeptics, though. A lot of civilians were talking about you. They know how brave you're being."

"That's nice. Now they won't actively despise my existence," I replied.

Miriallia sighed. "There you go. You're old Cagalli already."

"Sorry."

The ship rocked briefly. "What's going on?" I asked.

"Must be getting pretty close to Artemis," Miriallia said. "We weren't far away from it when we escaped. Maybe we're docking with the base already."

"Good. So maybe the base can figure out a way to let all of us go," I said.

"That would be nice," Miriallia said. "I think all of the volunteers have had enough of the military for a lifetime."

I heard cloth flaps then, and I finally turned to look at Miriallia. She smiled as she showed off an Earth Alliance women's uniform in her hands. It was violet, as per standard for a noncommissioned female in the fleet, but had a normal skirt akin to Murrue's and Natarle's in that it went down to the knees. This was opposed to the black miniskirt Miriallia was wearing.

"Found a uniform for you to wear, finally," she said.

"Thank you," I said, relieved. I quickly changed out of my pilot's uniform to the normal uniform and promptly collapsed onto the bed again. "God, now I definitely feel like a soldier."

"We all do," Miriallia said. "We're bored out of our minds until something happens."

"And we prefer boredom over something happening," I said.

"True."

There was a knock on the door, and a male voice I've never heard before shouted, in a German accent, "Is anyone in there? Open up? This is Earth Alliance Artemis personnel!"

"No point in hiding," Miriallia said. "Besides, they said they're from Artemis, right?"

"Yeah, go ahead," I said.

Miriallia walked right up to the door, and let it slide open.

And promptly got a gun pointed directly at her face.