It's been a while since my last update and I apologize, I just haven't felt the want to write lately. I also apologize for the short chapter. But I thought it was better to update even though it was short. Please enjoy!


Sometimes you think you'll be fine by yourself

Cause a dream is a wish that you make all alone

It's easy to feel like you don't need help

But it's harder to walk on your own

Someone who knows when you're lost and you're scared

They're there through the highs and the lows

Someone to count on, someone who cares

Beside you wherever you go

-"Gift of a Friend" by Demi Lovato

Santa Barbara: 2019

Shawn swirled his spoon around the perimeter of his steaming bowl of chicken noodle soup, his cheek was resting on his palm and his eyes were half-shut. He had lost his appetite after waking up from his short-lived nap. His stomach was tied up in knots and his chest felt tight. Normally he'd get these symptoms before having an asthma attack, but he knew well these were from his day with Juliet.

He was still trying to grasp what had happened, the information swarming in his head and clouding everything but the fact that Juliet had betrayed him. Sure she hadn't meant too, however she did. She told Vick his secret and under the influence of alcohol and Declan Rand. Declan. His name was a bitter taste on Shawn's tongue.

The spoon fell from his grasp and Shawn reached for it without thinking, "Ouch!" He shrieked pulling his hand away from the bowl.

"Shawn be careful!" Henry scolded rolling his eyes with a frown.

"Daddy?" Zuri was in a booster seat and looking at Shawn with wide eyes.

He sighed, "Sorry. I just have a lot on my mind…" he trailed off. His mother gave him a sympathetic look.

"Go to sleep early tonight Goose. I'll take care of Zuri and put her down with your father and I. You need the rest." Maddie offered ignoring Henry's look.

"Are you sure mom?" Shawn asked.

"Positive." Maddie smiled at him. Shawn nodded and stood up slowly. "Night baby." He kissed the top of Zuri's head.

"I love you daddy." She smiled up at him. Shawn smiled and left the kitchen without another word. He was grateful for his parents constant support, they loved Zuri and were amazing grandparents. Sometimes Shawn wondered why they couldn't have been that attentive to him as a child. Maybe they'd learn from him? Knew what they had done had turned his life into what it was and didn't want it to happen Zuri. Either way they were there, and Shawn was thankful.

He kicked his shoes off as soon as he entered the room and collapsed onto the bed with his face smacking down into the pillow. He took a deep breath allowing the calming sensation from the air sink into his body. The room was a perfect temperature, not too hot or cold. It was perfect. Shawn grabbed the pillow from the top edge of the bed and snuggled his face into it. Soon Shawn's mind drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Most of the dreams Shawn had lately were empty, no imagination nor color, empty without a doubt. They weren't there and in recourse Shawn usually woke up feeling even more tired than he had before he went to bed. Most nights anyways. There was the rare occasion where a dream would pop into his subconscious and it always left him shattered and blind to the world around him. They weren't dreams but nightmares. Different ways his life could've played out, all of them ending with himself committing suicide or dying in prison. His subconscious was a dark place, full of self-doubts and not a sign of happiness.

The next morning Shawn was surprised to feel energized. His eyes opened quickly and revealed the room around him. The curtains were a bright yellow because of the trapped sunlight behind it begging to be let into the room. Shawn sat up slowly and glanced at the clock on the wall, he'd been asleep for over twelve hours. Shawn didn't bother to change before he descended down the stairs outside his room and into the kitchen below.

"Sleep well?" Maddie asked turning to look at him from the stove. She was holding a pan and a spatula in the other hand. The sweet aroma of eggs and bacon spreading through the house. Shawn put a hand on his stomach as it grumbled loudly. "You must be starving." Maddie looked away and piled a heavy amount of bacon and eggs onto a plate and placing it onto the table. Shawn sat down in front of it and picked up the fork he'd been given, he hadn't realized just how hungry he was until he started wolfing down the food.

"Slow down Goose, you're going to choke." Maddie sat beside him and held out a glass of milk. Shawn took the glass and drank it in one gulp.

"Thanks mom," he wiped his mouth with his sleeve, "That was good." He scooped what eggs were left and shoved it into his mouth. He chewed quickly and looked towards the living room, the house was awfully quiet. "Where's Zuri?"

"Right here daddy." Shawn turned in his chair so he was facing the back door. Zuri walked in from outside and stood next to Shawn's knees. "Look what grandpa bought me!" She held up a stuffed mermaid and smiled proudly at it.

"That was very nice of him. Did you say thank you?" Zuri nodded, "What do I owe you dad?" Shawn wrapped an arm around Zuri and pulled her into his lap.

"She's my granddaughter Shawn, you owe me nothing." Henry replied leaning against the counter.

"I'm naming her Milly." Zuri shoved the toy in his face. "Isn't she pretty daddy?"

"She is baby girl." Shawn kissed the back of her head, "Hows your shoulder?"

"It don't hurt no more." She looked back at him.

He nodded, "That's good. Wanna go to the park?" Shawn asked her.

"Yes!" Zuri hopped up and ran into the living room, she returned a few seconds later with Shawn's shoes.

"You want us to go with you?" Maddie stood next to Henry.

"No I'm fine. I just want some fresh air, and you guys can have a break." Shawn smiled at them and stood up. He extended his hand to Zuri who grasped it readily. Shawn took the keys his father offered before they walked out of the house, down a path and onto the sidewalk. Shawn opened his father's truck door and buckled Zuri into her seat; he jumped into the driver's seat and pulled away from the house. Shawn drove quietly as Zuri talked a million miles an hour while playing with her new toy. Once at the park Zuri could barely contain her excitement.

"Come on daddy!" she urged as Shawn unbuckled her. As soon as her feet hit the ground she ran off towards the playground. "Stay where I can see you!" He shouted.

"Okay!" She responded climbing up a slide. Shawn shook his head and grabbed a newspaper from an open container. He sat down on a bench where he could see every inch of the area. Shawn flipped the pages over to the crosswords and began to fill in the blank squares. Every few minutes he would glance up to make sure Zuri was still safe and sound. He was startled when a hand griped his shoulder.

"What the hell?" Shawn jumped up and spun around before he froze, "Gus?" he said slowly. Burton 'Gus' Guster was standing in front of him. Gus's head was still smooth without a trace of hair; his face however had a nice beard attached. He was wearing a black business suit with a dark blue dress shirt underneath.

"Hey Shawn." Gus waved a hand timidly as he did a golden wedding band shimmered in the light of the sun.

"What are you doing here?" Shawn gulped gripping the sides of his pants. Gus opened his mouth to speak but closed it.

He cleared his throat, "I always come here around this time this is where I eat lunch." Shawn looked at Gus's feet and noticed a brown lunch bag sitting on the ground. The bag was nice and neat with the name "Burton" in big black letters. "Mind if I sit?" Gus motioned to the bench.

"Uh… No." Shawn spun around and sat tensely on the bench. A few seconds later Gus joined him and opened the lunch bag. Shawn caught a glimpse of a sandwich, a small bag of chips and a bag of carrots. Gus took out a folded piece of paper and stuck it in his pocket, "Note from my wife." He explained to Shawn.

Shawn nodded and glanced around the park; his eyes landed on Zuri and his body relaxed slightly. Zuri seemed to sense him and waved at him before turning around and grabbing on to the beginning of the monkey bars. "My daughter." Shawn said.

"She's black."

"Why does everyone keep pointing that out?" Shawn asked gritting his teeth, "Just because I'm not black that means I can't have a black daughter? Well tough, she's my kid and I love her."

"I didn't say anything Shawn, I was just surprised…" Gus trailed off. Shawn leaned back into the bench and gripped the arm tightly. He was uncomfortable being around Gus, although he would have scoffed at the idea six years prior. Shawn kept a firm eye on Zuri and kept watch on Gus from the corners. Something in his gut told him Gus was different, so different Shawn couldn't bring himself to talk. He felt as if he shouldn't trust Gus; this was maddening to Shawn as Gus had always been his confidant.

Santa Barbara: 2012

"Shawn?" He looked up from his desk and looked at the figure in the doorway.

"Gus!" Shawn smiled, "What's up buddy?" Gus walked into the office and stood in front of his friend.

"What are you doing here? It's six." Gus looked down at his friend.

"I know." Shawn nodded.

"In the morning." Gus continued.

"And?" Shawn asked leaning back into his chair and meeting his friend's eyes.

"You're never here this early." Gus walked over to his desk and sat down in his chair.

"Yes I am." Shawn protested earning a glare, "I wanted to finish this case." The look on Gus's face told Shawn Gus didn't believe him. "I wanted to… watch House M.D on TiVo?" Gus's face remained the same. "I mean c'mon Gus, the dude is always right, like me."

"Shawn…"

"Alright! Alight!" Shawn sighed, "Jules is mad at me." He huffed wrapping his arms across his chest.

"What'd you do?" Gus questioned

"Why is it always something I did? She can do stuff too." Shawn argued.

"Not really." Gus shook his head.

"Fine. I-I-I- She almost found the ring." Shawn started.

"Your grandmother's ring?" Shawn nodded, "I thought you gave it back."

"I was going to. But something said no, so I didn't. I hid it in an envelope and placed it in a pair of shoes. Jules found it and almost opened it. So I grabbed it from her and when she asked why I kinda told her it was a letter from Abigail. Then she kicked me out." Shawn's face fell.

Gus frowned, "Dude, that's really stupid. You could've told her it was a personal letter from your dad."

"Thing is Gus, Jules felt the ring. So she thought Abigail had sent me one."

"Wow, you're stupid."

"What do I do Gus? How do I get myself out of this?" Shawn looked at Gus earnestly. He really had no idea what to do.

"Do you have the envelope?" Shawn held it up. Gus stood up and grabbed the envelope from Shawn. He slid the ring into his palm and pocketed it, replacing the one inside from the one on his desk. "Class ring. Tell Juliet Abigail found it among some of her stuff and sent it back to you." Gus tossed the envelope at Shawn. "And tell her the letter was just explaining the ring."

"That's brilliant Gus! I knew there was a reason I kept you around!" Shawn jumped up and planted a kiss on Gus's head and ran off before he could react. Gus shook his head as he watched his best friend hop into the Blueberry and pull away.

"Wait! Shawn! That's a company car!" Gus yelled running outside.

Santa Barbara: 2019

Shawn's hand squeezed onto the arm of the bench tighter and his lips pierced. His heart began to pound in his chest as he felt it tighten and his ability to breathe became harder.

"Shawn, are you okay?" Gus turned to face him.

"I'm fine." Shawn lied standing up, "Zuri!" He yelled. Within seconds she ran over to Shawn and was instantly scooped up.

"Where are you going?" Gus asked crestfallen that the reunion with his best friend hadn't gone well.

"I just… bye." Shawn walked away with Zuri under his arm and he didn't stop to answer her questions. Shawn plopped Zuri into the bed of the truck and opened the passenger side door, he opened the glove compartment and reached inside. He pulled out his inhaler and put in his mouth pressing down on the button. Shawn took a deep breath and felt the pressure begin to loosen.

"Daddy are you okay?" Zuri peered at him from the window in the back of the truck.

"I'm fine." Shawn wheezed putting the inhaler back in his mouth and pressing the button again. After a few minutes Shawn began to fell normal again and placed the inhaler back where it was. "Come on." Shawn grabbed Zuri from the back of the truck and buckled her in and pulled away from the park without fastening himself.

"Daddy…" Zuri started.

"Not now." Shawn told her gripping the steering wheel. Zuri clamped her lips shut and watched as a dark man became smaller in the mirror as they drove away.


I brought Gus in because of many requests wanting him in this story, don't expect much of him though because I honestly have no plans for him. He might just be a background character. Hope you guys liked it!