JC: Actually, I was wondering if I've been too pro-Earth Alliance so far. I guess judging by your comment I haven't been. :p Seriously, I don't see how I've been pro-PLANTs. Do you want to elaborate on that?

shadowrose12: In the words of one of my writing idols, Greg Weisman: "SPOILER REQUEST. NO COMMENT". XD

animefan29: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I think I go a little bit too much into Cagalli's ramblings at times. For some reason she's a rambler in my head. Dunno why.

star12: Rinse and repeat "SPOILER REQUEST. NO COMMENT". Seriously, I can't spoil things for you guys, not if you want to stay interested! XD

Light-Sakura: I will correct the issue in the previous chapter as well as making sure it doesn't arise in this one. I have no clue why it's been happening.

DevilGirl101: Cagalli's meeting with Athrun will happen sooner than you may think. ;)

This is the penultimate chapter of part 1. Chapter 20, which has already been completed, will conclude part 1. It will be a doozy, I promise you. ^^

Chapter 20 will come next Monday. Please be patient until then.


Chapter Nineteen: Vessels

This was a day of good news and bad news. The good news was that no riot broke out onboard, Kira was able to diffuse the situation before it got any worse.

And . . . I can't think of much else. I think it might've been the only bit of good news the entire day.

I guess this means the day pretty much sucked.

It started in the cafeteria. Some of the civilians were in there, and they were talking about Kira's speech. They were not happy, but they were reluctantly accepting. After all, they were going to go home eventually anyway? They just had to wind up in cold, bitter Alaska first.

As I tried to eat the lackluster grub passing as a meal, Badgiruel approached me. She was holding a large stack of papers and put one at my place at the table.

"What's this?" I asked.

"You hold onto that. You're going to need to sign that the moment we land in Alaska," Badgiruel replied.

I took a look, and it took me all of five seconds to figure it out. "Discharge papers?"

"It's illegal for civilians to participate in military action in all circumstances," Badgiruel replied. "Because of the necessity, however . . . we arranged to have every Orb civilian who participated in the fighting, however minor, to have retroactively enlisted in the Earth Alliance military before the destruction of Heliopolis."

"Every civilian?" I asked.

"Yes. Including your Prince Kira. He had quite an unpleasant look on his face when he got handed his papers." I saw a small wisp of a smile subtly cross Badgiruel's face. It was a stunning sight, I had never seen her smile at anything, much less have what appeared to be a small amount of amusement.

"Wow," was all I could think of to say.

"Don't sign it until we land. Just store it in a safe place where you can find it quickly. We don't have enough copies to have backup papers for everybody," Badgiruel said, and just like that, she left.

I looked at the discharge papers. I had never considered myself part of the military, but they thought differently.

I wondered how difficult it had been for Badgiruel to hand me this sheet of paper, knowing full well I was going to slip away.

Maybe Halberton or Ramius gave Badgiruel this duty on purpose, just to remind her she wasn't in charge.

At that moment, though, Elle began choking her food and I had to help her spit it out.

One thing at a time, I guess. One thing at a time.

But I pocketed my discharge papers. No matter what happened, I was keeping them on me. There was no way I was going to stay on this ship after Alaska, no matter what. The moment I was on Alaskan soil these papers were being signed and I was getting the hell off this ship, Elle in tow. Hopefully my parents wouldn't mind me picking up a little sister along the way. At least poor Elle would have a home of some kind, now.

Now my job was to bring Elle there.

That meant I couldn't die. How the hell else would Elle make it there?

As we left the cafeteria, though, I didn't go far before bumping into an older man who I had never seen before on this ship.

He was taller than me, looked to be in his late thirties. He had blue eyes, blond hair, a fair, gentle face that suggested something fatherly and intelligent.

It occurred to me that I was staring at Lewis Halberton.

It took me a moment to break out of my shock and salute him. "Admiral Halberton, sir! I'm sorry for getting in your-"

He raised his hand, and a small smile crossed his face. "It's all right. Accidents happen."

He looked at me, and then at the little girl. He sighed wistfully. "I never thought I would see the day a young girl like her would be on a military ship."

Elle responded to that by cowering behind me. She seemed to be doing that a lot. Just seemed to be afraid of people in general.

"It wasn't her idea," I said.

"I would hope not," Halberton said. He looked back at me, a slightly uncomfortable look on his face. "You are Cagalli Yamato, correct?"

"Uh, yes, sir."

He nodded. "Lieutenant Ramius told me you were young."

He paused for a little bit, clearly searching for the right words to say. "A lot of people would call me a fool for not forcing you to remain the pilot of the Strike GUNDAM and send you in military operations. But you are just a child. You shouldn't be forced to experience war."

He paused again. "Then again, judging by Lieutenant Ramius' account, you have experienced war. Plenty of it. Am I correct?"

"Yes, sir," I said.

"Did you have any questions about what you were fighting for, Cagalli Yamato?"

That was a strange question to ask me, but as I thought about how to reply, it occurred to me that despite my questions about Athrun and everything else, I knew what I had to do. I never considered betraying the Archangel at all.

"No. I was fighting to protect this ship and everyone onboard. Until we land in Alaska that will remain my objective, sir. I've made a lot of promises to people, I'm not going to break them."

He smiled. "That's good. You've heard the old saying of the 'fog of war', I'm glad you have some clarity about what you are doing. There isn't enough of that in war."

"What do you mean, sir?"

"It must be difficult for you to fight against your own kind. If the first thing you did upon returning to Orb was take the first flight to the PLANTs to enlist in the ZAFT forces I would not blame you at all."

"I can't do that. Again, I've made promises. I have too many friends here, too many people who need me. Also, frankly, the reason I'm in Orb was to stay out of the war. I have no interest in fighting for either side," I said.

"You have strong convictions . . ." Halberton sighed. "I wish I could continue this conversation, but I must return to my own ship. I am glad I was able to speak with you, however briefly."

He paused, and then he smiled. "If it means anything, I have arranged for all of the volunteering Orb civilians be given a military rank until your landing in Alaska. As you are a pilot, that makes you an officer, Ensign Yamato. Handle your responsibility well."

It took me a moment to realize I needed to thank him and fast. "Uh, thank you very much, sir! It's an honor."

"Good luck to you, Ensign."

And then he left, moving past me and down the hallway, presumably heading for the launch bay in order to return to the Menelaos.

I'm an officer.

I found that so difficult to believe.


I left Elle in my room for a little while, as I wanted to see my friends and I wasn't allowed to bring a civilian onto the bridge with me. Just as I expected, they were indeed at the bridge. Tolle was there, along with Sai, Kuzzey, and Miriallia. Only Murrue Ramius was there out of the senior officers, the others were apparently on break other than the helmsman, Arnold Neumann.

There wasn't a lot going on, apparently, so no one really cared when I showed up. I did notice that my friends had military rank markings on their uniforms now.

Ramius smiled at me. "Oh, Cagalli. I was told to give this to you."

She handed me a pair of yellow stripes. "Put these on the collars of your uniform. Congratulations on your new promotion."

"Hey," Tolle protested. "How come Cagalli gets something on her collar while the rest of us don't?"

"Cagalli's a pilot. Pilots have to be commissioned officers, it's always been that way," Murrue said, as she pinned the small strips to my collar. It felt embarrassing but I didn't protest. Better her doing than me, when I could wind up struggling to put those things on for hours.

"Wait, that means Cagalli outranks us," Kuzzey said.

There was a brief silence before Ramius spoke. "That's right, she's an Ensign. The lowest rank for an officer but still an officer."

"Aw man," Tolle whined from the front of the ship. "I only made Seaman Second Class."

"I made Seaman First Class," Miriallia said proudly.

"That was my rank too," Kuzzey said.

I looked at Sai. "Yours?"

"Seaman Second Class," Sai said softly. "Same as Tolle and Flay."

"Wait, Flay got a rank too?" I asked.

Ramius sighed. "When Lt. Commander Badgiruel put her into that uniform, that made her a volunteer too."

"But she doesn't fight," I said.

Ramius looked at me evenly. "It is not every soldier's responsibility to fight. Many do important work behind the lines, supporting those who do fight. Even with modern technology handling much of the support work, there still needs to be a human element to that network. Flay Allster is best suited to being part of that network."

Aka, that means she's scrubbing toilets for the rest of her stay here, I thought. At least, if Badgiruel was still in charge of handing out duties to everyone.

But then, something in Ramius' words made a light turn on in my brain. "Wait . . . you just said Lieutenant Commander Badgiruel. I thought she was an Ensign."

Ramius smiled. "Admiral Halberton promoted everyone. I am officially a Captain. Mu La Flaga is now a Lieutenant Commander like Badgiruel, though pilots' ranks work differently than ship ranks, Badgiruel actually outranks La Flaga now. Most everyone else got promoted at least one rank to go with their increased responsibilities, and Halberton was able to arrange a small transfer of additional personnel. The ship's going to need it when the Orb civilians finally leave."

"Wow," I just said. "Admiral Halberton must be amazing to pull all of that off."

Ramius just laughed. "Admirals can promote whoever they want, it's not that big of a deal, Ensign Yamato."

She was already beginning to address me by my rank. I hoped it wouldn't be that way for long. I didn't want to think or feel like a soldier. Getting an actual rank put me one step closer to being an official soldier, fighting for the Earth Alliance instead of being an Orb civilian.

How long before my Orb civilian identity was gone?

"How many people are coming?" I asked.

"Halberton was able to free up twenty noncommissioned to assist with maintenance, security, and supplies," Ramius said. "Some airborne Skygrasper fighters were delivered to us too, but we have nobody to fly them except La Flaga. We're going to need to wait at least one more day for pilots, and that's time none of us are sure we have. "

"Skygraspers?" I asked, sounding dumber than I intended.

"They're the most advanced version of a classic airborne fighter plane," Ramius said. "They're armed enough to be classified as Mobile Armors, and have air-to-air and air-to-ground capabilities. Pretty decent equipment, but they can't be operated in outer space."

"I've always liked those old fighter planes," Tolle said. "If they're anything like those old planes I'd like a chance to fly them."

That was a big no according to me. I was stressed enough by the battles I had already fought. I didn't want the weight of Tolle being out there on my back. Granted, we were just heading to Alaska and going home, but if anything went wrong, if the ship just went a little off course . . .

"Aren't you doing a good job here?" I asked, trying to be as diplomatic as possible.

"Apparently no," Tolle said. "Not if I'm Second Class."

Ramius turned towards Tolle and smiled. "Part of it was that you were shot on Artemis. You didn't have much of an opportunity to show what you can do, and your shoulder is still sore, I'm sure."

Tolle looked down, and I could see in his eyes that he knew Ramius was right.

Ramius said "The pay between Seaman First and Second Classes isn't that much different. I wouldn't worry too much about it."

"Yeah, but Cagalli's like going to be rolling in cash," Kuzzey said.

"Ensigns don't make a lot of money either by officer standards. Also, you need to remember that this pay is coming from the day before Heliopolis to the moment you sign those discharge papers. That's only for a couple of weeks. Your paychecks will be quite small."

"Well, when you put it that way . . ." Kuzzey said, clearly disappointed.

"You kids did well. You helped us survive out there behind enemy lines, in an environment when our own allies turned against us. You all should be proud of what you've done."

"Thank you, ma'am," Miriallia said.

I eyed her for just a second. Was this girl really the primary suspect in a murder case? Why was she being left on the bridge, serving right under Badgiruel's nose? Maybe it was so Badgiruel could keep a better eye on her? Or was this some convoluted plan by Badgiruel to use Miriallia as bait to find the real killer?

So many questions that I might never get the chance to answer.

Suddenly, the alarm sounded. It was like a switch flipped inside Ramius, that turned her from this motherly figure into someone firm, projecting authority and command. She looked at Kuzzey. "Why is the proximity alarm going off?"

"Uh, um . . ." Kuzzey paused. "It looks like we got ZAFT vessels approaching! Enough for a fleet!"

Rau Le Creuset, I thought. It had to be him. It figured he would strike now. This was his last chance to get us. And he had brought enough ships to do it, unless Kuzzey was exaggerating.

"Understood," Ramius said, and she got on the com. "We have enemy ships approaching! All hands, assume primary battle stations!"

"We have an emergency transmission from the Menelaos!" Kuzzey shouted.

"Bring it onscreen," Ramius said.

Seconds later, the familiar, paternal mug of Admiral Halberton appeared onscreen. Like Ramius, he was projecting authority now, there was no questioning his command. "Captain Ramius, head to the rear of the fleet. You will not be participating in this battle. Instead, you will prepare for re-entry. That's an order."

"But sir!" Ramius was cut off as she began her protest.

"It is not your responsibility to engage the enemy! We will not let them pass! Just concentrate on re-entry and making it to Alaska! Over and out!"

Just like that, he was gone, leaving us with a static-filled screen.

Arnold Neumann looked at Ramius. "What should we do?"

Ramius bit her lip, and then took a deep breath. "We follow his orders. Pilot the ship to the rear, and prepare the re-entry sequence."

She looked at me. "You get on standby with the Strike, Ensign Yamato. Hopefully we won't have to launch you but if something happens before we enter the Earth's atmosphere . . ."

I got her implications. "I'm on my way. Good luck, everyone."

I left them there, and I suddenly had the weird feeling that I was just a little bit heavier than I was before.

Maybe we were being affected by Earth's gravity already, or maybe it was just my imagination.

Or maybe it was just the realization that, once again, everyone's lives rested with me.

What a cross to bear.

My necessary albatross.


The launch bay was bustling back and forth, but I was really surprised to see Kira sitting inside the Strike's cockpit yet again, messing around with something.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "We don't have time for this!"

"I was calibrating the Strike's specs to fight an atmospheric battle," Kira said. "As it is, I wouldn't recommend using anything other than the Sword Pack. The rifles will burn up in the atmosphere for sure, or at least melt. But you can put the swords away, which will protect them."

"Lovely," I said. I realized how rude I was sounding and said "Sorry. I'm just thinking about me descending into the atmosphere and the guns are what you're worried about."

"Actually, theoretically, the Strike is supposed to be able to handle re-entry," Kira said as he stepped out of the cockpit.

I tossed my helmet into the cockpit and turned around at him. "You're serious? It can survive entering the atmosphere?"

"Theoretically," Kira repeated. "It hasn't been tested yet. We don't know if it actually can."

That's reassuring, I almost said sarcastically and just barely bit back. Instead, I said "So, what do I do if the Archangel and I get separated?"

Kira sighed. "I honestly don't know. This is completely new to me. I never thought the Strike would have its re-entry capabilities tested so soon. Again, it's supposed to be able to make a solo landing, unlike the Moebius Zero and all the other Mobile Armors. But the Strike isn't what I'm worried about. It's you."

"Me?" I asked.

Kira nodded. "The heat and turbulence of re-entry will be a lot more severe in the Strike than it is in the Archangel. The cockpit has some insulation but I don't know if it's enough to keep you from being cooked. If you have to make a solo landing I would highly recommend you falling back-first and turning off the engines. That'll keep the engines from exploding and not expose you to as much friction. But I don't know if that'll be enough."

"So, basically, my best way of surviving re-entry is not actually re-entering," I said.

Kira gave me a nervous grin. "Yeah, pretty much."

"You're a big help."

Kira looked hurt, and not in a joking way either. "I'm sorry. I'm doing the best that I can do."

Again, I felt guilty over snapping at him. "No, no, you're right. I'm just stressed out. I don't want to burn up in the atmosphere."

"Well, if things go well, you might not even have to launch," Kira said. He reached and patted me on the shoulder as I sat down in the chair. "If you have to launch, good luck. If it means anything, I don't think it's your destiny to die right here."

"I sure hope not." I paused. I didn't want Kira to go away just yet, even though I knew he had to. I liked having someone to talk to right now, and there was this peculiar sense of familiarity that made me want to stay by him.

"Out of curiosity, what's your rank?"

"My rank?" Kira asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Admiral Halberton gave all of the Orb citizens military ranks until we make it to Alaska. You got a rank too, didn't you?"

Kira blinked, and then he looked away, his face flushed. "Petty Officer."

"Not bad, but not good enough. I'm an Ensign. And you know what that means?"

Kira looked mortified. "Aw, no."

"I get to give orders to the Prince of Orb."

Kira, judging from the look on his face, couldn't decide whether to be embarrassed, to laugh, or to be afraid. It looked like a draw, which gave his face a really amusing expression. "Oh, boy."

"And my first order is this," I began. By that point, I had dropped the joking sound in my voice. Something occurred to me as I started joking about my authority, and it wasn't good.

"Please go to my room. There's a girl there, Elle Eliarez. Keep an eye on her until I come back, okay?"

Kira blinked again, and then he nodded. "Oh wait, the girl. Yeah, I'll do that, Cagalli."

"Thank you," I said. "Now you should probably get out of here."

Kira nodded. "I will. Again, good luck. I hope you won't have to launch. See you soon."

"See ya."

Kira slammed the cockpit shut, and that left me alone in my little cage. I put my helmet on and stared at my console. Any moment now, I could be ordered to go out and fight despite us trying to re-enter the atmosphere.

That was nerve-wracking, even more than my previous battles. Kira's words hadn't reassured me at all. I didn't want to die, especially not by burning up in the atmosphere. There's much quicker, less painful ways to go than that. Dying that way would just be . . .

Just be a dumb joke by God, by Haumea, or by whatever god or gods there is or are.

I turned on my radio communications, and brought Miriallia onto the screen. I couldn't stand not knowing what's going on. "Miri, what's happening up there?"

"The battle's just begun. Badgiruel says the fleet is forming a phalanx formation to meet ZAFT head-on. Don't ask me what that means."

I knew what a phalanx was. "The phalanx is a-"

Badgiruel interrupted. "They're basically forming in close order to force ZAFT to run through them to get to us. It's a high-risk formation. Right now, just from my observation, it doesn't look to be paying off. The phalanx doesn't take GUNDAMs into account, unfortunately."

That wasn't what I wanted to hear. "How bad is it getting?"

"That's something I don't have concrete information on yet," Badgiruel said. "Stay on standby. Hopefully we won't have to send you and La Flaga out."

I didn't like that answer either. That just made me more nervous. I wanted to know, one way or another, whether I was going to be heading out there. It would be less terrifying in a way to know for sure that I had to go. That would take the suspense out of it. Then I'd just have to survive.

But still, staying in here for the ride down to Earth was preferable to fighting. Please Admiral Halberton, hold on. Keep them back.

But my hopes were ultimately dashed. Badgiruel came back on the line. "We've lost approximately half the fleet. The GUNDAMs are breaking through the final defensive line, supported by what we believe to be the Gamow. La Flaga, Yamato, we need to launch both of you and hold off the GUNDAM machines before we reach the atmospheric entry threshold."

"Uh, what's an atmospheric entry threshold?" I asked.

La Flaga answered me. "It's the limit as to how close we can get to Earth before its gravity becomes so strong that we can't break free of it. The moment we cross the threshold, we better be ready to start the re-entry process or we're in serious trouble."

"The plan is simple," Badgiruel said. "The two of you go out with five minutes to go before the threshold and hold the enemy back. At one minute to go, retreat to us and get inside the launch bay at all costs. I don't know if the GUNDAM can tolerate re-entry for a while, but I know for the fact that the Zero can't."

"Prince Kira told me the Strike can handle a solo landing," I said.

Badgiruel raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh. I bet they haven't tested it, Ensign."

I couldn't help but grin sheepishly. "He admitted it to my face that there's been no tests."

"Then you're coming in with La Flaga. No ifs, ands, or buts. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am," I said. Not like I wanted to try re-entry anyway. I made a mental note to start a stopwatch on the console. I was no programmer but surely I could get a timer going.

After what seemed to be an eternity, I did get a timer set. I breathed a sigh of relief and looked at the unmoving 5:00:00. Five minutes, zero seconds, zero tenths and hundredths of seconds.

That was all I was going to get.

Miriallia this time. ""They've broken through the final defensive line. It looks like the Duel and Buster are taking the lead, with Aegis and Blitz not far behind."

I thought I had badly damaged the Duel. How could they have repaired it so quickly? And I heard the pilot scream in agony, I had wounded him, too. How had he recovered so quickly? PLANT technology could accelerate the healing process but I don't think that it could heal the pilot's injuries in just two days or so.

Unless, of course, this was a different pilot. But my gut was telling me it wasn't.

Badgiruel leaned over Miriallia's shoulder. "La Flaga, Yamato, both of you going out. Strike takes the lead, followed by the Zero. Ensign Yamato, take your spot and prepare for launch."

"Yes, ma'am," I managed, despite my stomach suddenly feeling sick.

I positioned the Strike on the catapult, and took a deep breath as the launch bay depressurized and opened.

I'm so gonna die.

I prepared the acceleration. "This is Cagalli Yamato. Well, I mean, Ensign Cagalli Yamato, piloting the Strike GUNDAM."

I paused, as I suddenly saw something I never saw before. I could see the thin outline of the blue skies of Earth, right below the endless sea of stars I had seen for such a long time when launching the Strike before. It was breathtaking.

I shook my head and forced myself not to think about it. The Earth could very well wind up killing me. This was the worst possible time to admire the beautiful world who was home to my nation.

I activated the timer. Five minutes. I only needed to be out there for five minutes. I can manage that surely, right?

I hit the accelerator. "I'm sorry. This is Cagalli Yamato, launching! See you soon!"

The Strike GUNDAM rushed out of the launch bay and I found myself suspended in outer space once again, but this time right above the Earth.

If everything went well, this was going to be my final flight.

If everything went badly, this was going to be my final flight.

Either way, this was the end of my time in the Strike.

Five minutes. That's all. I can surely fight for five minutes and then go home and pretend this horrible experience never happened, right?

But as I looked out, and saw the Duel and Buster approaching, something occurred to me.

Time flies when you're having fun.

This was going to be the exact opposite of fun.

This was going to be the longest five minutes of my life.