WritingKnightmare: I've fixed the error, thanks for pointing it out. Though I'm not sure Flay is being "taught" anything except how to kill . . .

Light-Sakura: I'm thinking you're probably right about this one. Cagalli seems to be underestimating Flay quite a bit. Not without good reason but Cagalli doesn't know Flay as well as she thinks she does.

Big-Babidi: We'll see won't we? XD

372259: Thanks for the compliments. I hope the story continues to be good in your eyes. I'm trying my best. ^^

One more thing: I'm finally on twitter! Look up macattack50 sometime! I'm occasionally writing something about the fic there.

Now on with the chapter!


Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Only

There was one thing I had not accounted for in my master plan to keep Flay occupied and away from Elle. Sai Argyle.

I had royally pissed him off.

It wasn't until the next day that he confronted me over it. By that point, I had rested enough that I was able to keep my composure and not yell at him. I had to put my political science training to use in some way, and it should've mellowed me out more, but I guess I'm naturally more of a screaming commentator than a intelligent, layered diplomat. I guess that makes me more exciting but not someone to fix a particularly strained situation.

It was right in the hallway, and I was by myself. Elle was asleep in my room, taking the bunk across from Miriallia's and mine, and I was letting Elle sleep. Thank God.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Sai said the moment he saw me.

"It's not a big deal," I said as he stomped right up to me.

"Not a big deal? Really? You'd say that?" Sai yelled. "After the hissy fit you threw over Tolle in that thing you think it's okay to encourage the girl I love to jump in the simulator?"

"Big difference," I said. "Tolle's good enough to pass. Flay has no chance in hell."

"You're just assuming this!" Sai shouted. "Flay's addicted to that thing! She keeps trying to finish a mission! She almost did it last night before I pulled her away from it myself!"

"Look, getting five straight As in that simulator can't be easy," I said. "Otherwise we'd have a zillion Skygrasper pilots out there."

"Yet you freaked out over Tolle being in there," Sai said.

It was true. I had.

"Tolle is not like Flay," I said. "I think he could learn how to fly. I'm just looking for something to keep Flay away from Elle, that's all."

"That 'something' could get Flay killed too, you know!" Sai growled angrily and pounded his fist against the wall. "You don't think about anybody but yourself, don't you?"

That one finally set me off. "I am thinking about Elle, okay? What, is it wrong to be concerned about Elle when she's around Flay? You know what kind of crap Flay believes in."

Sai looked at me, and seemed to bite back a response before shaking his head. "She doesn't. She's just angry. You can understand that, can't you?"

"Yeah, but until she gets over it I don't want her anywhere near Melanie," I said. "I'm looking for something to occupy her time so she doesn't put bad ideas in Elle's head."

"It's all about the little girl," Sai said with a sigh. "Of course."

"Damn straight it is," I said. "Her mother is dead. She's my responsibility now."

Sai raised an eyebrow. "Really? It is?"

"Who else is going to do it?"

"Flay?" Sai said, his eyebrow still raised.

"No," I replied. "Not until Flay gets over herself and her petty hatred. I don't want Elle to grow up to be a member of some anti-Coordinator group because of Flay's crap."

Sai turned around. "I see there's no way to convince you that you're wrong."

"I am right," I said. "And you know it. You've had to have heard some of the things Flay's been saying, haven't you?"

"We'll see, Cagalli," Sai said, his voice so soft it seemed to be a wisp in the air. "We'll see."

He walked away, hands in his pockets.

I didn't know what to say to him other than what I already had. There was no way Flay could get five straight As on the Skygrasper simulator! She'd quit in a few days because she'd be sick of being shot down and by that point Elle will hopefully be detoxed of Flay's anger and hate. And, maybe eventually, Flay could work things out for herself. Maybe Sai, if he was so worried about her, could help Flay out with that.

It was odd. I didn't hate her as much as I had on Heliopolis, despite knowing more about Flay. But I could understand why Flay was saying the things she was, and why so much anger was inside her. She had lost her father to Coordinators from ZAFT, and a Coordinator, me, had failed to save him. To Flay right now, Coordinators were just scum, including me.

Okay, maybe I was one step above scum, like maybe a horsefly or something to Flay. Because I actually meant something as this ship's chief defender. But it didn't change the real fact that Coordinators had killed her father, killed him apparently mercilessly and so Flay was taking her anger out on all Coordinators.

She was just an ordinary girl filled with anger and no way to channel it or work it out of her system. After enough sessions in the simulator, maybe Flay would burn herself out. Grow sick of it and realize how stupid she was being. Or maybe she would keep smashing her head against the proverbial wall for weeks and months, still making little if any progress.

Whatever the case, Flay would never fly, but she would never spit her creed into Elle's ears ever again.

That was my goal with Flay, until she finally let go.

And she had to. All of that had to be a poison festering inside her. It's not good for someone to live with so much hate.

She would let go.

For her own sake, if no one else's.


I knew there was no way to dodge Prince Kira for much longer. If I kept avoiding him, Kira would bring the subject up with the captain, or Mu La Flaga, or, be still my heart, Natarle Badgiruel. I didn't need any of those scenarios to be happening, especially the one with Badgiruel.

The fewer who knew about this, the better.

It wasn't difficult to find Kira. As usual, he was in the hangar, sitting in the Strike cockpit, running some kind of program or making a modification to the O.S. Just like the good old days in space.

Even after I had yelled at him he was still willing to work on the Strike for me. That said something about Kira more than words could ever express. He had a compassionate and caring heart. It was nice that his ideals and his kindness were not getting beaten out of him by this war. If he never saw combat, and only witnessed it, it would be a triumph for me, and for this crew.

"Hi," I said as I leaned into the cockpit.

Kira sighed. "I'm going to need a new spot to hang out. You're finding me way too easily."

"I know you're not. This machine's pretty much your baby," I said.

Kira gave me a funny look. "That put the weirdest visual in my head. Thanks."

It took me a moment to realize what he meant, and then I saw what I thought Kira had pictured, the Strike GUNDAM in a baby's pajamas.

It made me blush slightly, I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks. "Sorry."

"Nah, it's okay." Kira finished a typing spree right as he said that, and hit the ENTER key. He kicked back in the seat.

"All right," he said. "I've managed to optimize the Strike for its new surroundings. You're not going to be able to take off and fly, not without some serious booster attachments that we don't have, but you're going to be a lot more mobile and a lot more accurate."

"Will that be enough?" I asked.

Kira nodded. "I would hope so."

"You hope so? What about me?" I asked.

Kira sighed. "It's not exactly easy for me to send you out there with my adjustments, you know. If you get killed, that means that I screwed up. I didn't make the right adjustments to give you what you needed to win."

He had a point. I never considered what it was like for Kira when I was out there fighting. I wondered whether Kira truly meant he was thinking about me when I was fighting.

Did the prince of Orb actually care about me?

The thought made me freeze up for a second before I could shake it off. I couldn't have any flights of fancy. Not now.

"You've never screwed up," I said. "Not even when we first started this. You're not going to screw up now."

"Hopefully not," Kira said. "I know what the adjustments should be for the terrain and gravity but calculations and hypotheses are different than actually putting it into practice. I could be off."

"Let's just assume you're not," I said. "I mean, look. I was able to get the Strike out of Tassil without any adjustments whatsoever. It's on me if I get shot down, not you."

"You also kind of lost your mind," Kira said.

There we went. Back to the conversation from a couple of days ago. But now I was rested and ready to have it.

"I saw something, Kira. This is the second time I've seen it, actually," I said.

"Wait, this happened before?" Kira asked, clearly stunned.

"Yeah. Remember when the Duel pounded me into the Archangel? That's when it happened for the first time."

Kira shook his head. "And you told no one?"

"If I did everyone would believe I'm crazy for real," I said. "I doubt anyone's seen a brown seed explode in front of them and set off some kind of weird kill-everyone mode or whatever."

"Huh?" Kira asked.

"Both times, I've seen a seed the color of my eyes," I said. "It cracks and then shatters, and all of a sudden it's like everything I need to do to win the fight is right in front of me. Like I know exactly what to do and how to do it. The right manuevers, whether to shoot or slash or, I don't know, do cartwheels if I have to, it's all there in front of me, and I process it all in an instant and then act on the best one."

Kira stared at me blankly.

"That's how I was able to make your recommended adjustments with minimal instruction," I said. "I just knew where to put the settings even though there was no time to figure it out. In fact, I probably shouldn't have known the best settings. I have no clue how I did. My programming courses have all been pretty basic and none had to do with Mobile Suits."

"This is weird," Kira said.

"You don't believe me?" I asked.

"Oh no. That's just too strange not to be real. I've never heard of that happening, though. I know berserker attacks are real, as well as the 'dead man walking', but I've never known of some random seed appearing in your vision and exploding."

"Maybe it's something that only happens in Coordinators," I said. "Maybe we make a projection or something in our heads."

"Someone would've noticed it by now if every Coordinator could do it," Kira said. "And why would it be a seed? With your eye color?"

"You're asking me this? I have no clue," I said.

Kira rubbed his forehead. "Now I'm regretting asking. This is getting really weird."

"So I'm a freak?" I asked.

"That's not what I meant, Cagalli, and you know it," Kira said. "Have your parents ever told you about why they made you a Coordinator? Or who did the genetic adjustments?"

"My parents adopted me," I said.

Kira's face fell. "Oh."

"As far as I know, I was maybe two, three years old when my parents adopted me," I said. "They said they picked me up in an Orb orphanage one day and took me home."

I thought about what Mom had said to me about why they adopted me. "They said they hadn't been planning on adopting that day but when Mom saw me . . . she said she . . . she said there was something about me that made her decide she wanted to adopt me right away. She convinced my dad of it and within a week I was out of that orphanage and at their house."

Kira smiled. "I see. I never knew my mother, myself. It's always been my father in my life."

"Oh wow, really?" I asked.

"My father always said that my mother didn't live long after I was born . . . that's all he'd ever say about that," Kira said. "I've always took it as my mom died in childbirth."

"That's sad," I said.

Kira just shrugged and smiled sadly. "There's nothing I could've done about it."

"I know," I said. "I can't imagine how that feels, though."

"You get used to it, and eventually all of the other kids who have normal families stop being such a big deal. After all, complaining about it only draws attention to your own weirdness," Kira said. "Though I never got to know a lot of kids my age. I mean, my father runs Orb. I'm a security risk. I can't do a lot of things normal kids get to do."

"Well in this case it's a good thing. Because I would've died a long time ago if it wasn't for your work," I said.

Kira chuckled briefly. "I hope so."

Murdoch pounded on the side of the cockpit door then. "Yo, Cagalli!"

"What's up?" I asked, peeking out of the cockpit.

"The captain sent me to get you! You're needed on the bridge. Some kind of strategy thing."

"A strategy meeting?" I asked.

"Yeah. It involves the head of Desert Dawn himself," Murdoch said. "It's really important."

Kira nodded to me. "Get going. I'll finish up here."

"All right Kira," I said. "I'll be back soon."

"Yeah," Kira said softly, and I left him behind.


The bridge didn't have any of my friends on it, just the officers who had been running the show this whole time. I spotted Ahmed, though, who was hanging out by the entrance, his rifle relaxed. He gave me a smile as I entered the room but didn't say anything, and I didn't have time to say anything back.

"So, this is your pilot," said a bearded, middle-aged man who looked like he had actually gone through hell. He was muscular, and his beard was not large enough to disguise a distinctive scar on his cheek that suggested he had been in one serious knife fight. A bandanna that looked worn by sweat and dirt was wrapped around his head, and his bulletproof vest looked just big enough to wrap around his frame.

No wonder the man had kept a rebel organization together by force of will. He demanded respect just in his appearance.

The man who must have been Sahib Ashman seemed to size me up again before shaking his head. "Your chief protector is a girl who is clearly haunted and has yet to finish puberty. This doesn't inspire confidence."

I was not in the mood to be dissed by a man I barely knew. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? I've killed a lot of people in this war to protect this ship! What do you want from me?"

There were several audible gasps in the room, including all of Ashman's men in the room and Murrue Ramius herself. "Uh, Cagalli . . ."

Sahib Ashman just smiled. "Though her spirit isn't quite beaten down yet. She could have some use after all."

I was ready to tear into him again but Murrue got right in front of me. She placed her hands on my shoulders, and spoke firmly but soothingly. "Cagalli, this man is the leader of our only allies in this region. Please, I've heard you're a political science major, put it to use."

I wanted to kick Sahib Ashman's ass, but like with Garcia there was no benefit in trying to do so. Especially as, unlike Garcia, Ashman looked more than capable of handling me. He could break me like a twig and not lose sleep over it.

"You are clearly a civilian girl who has no business fighting this war," Sahib said. "Times must be desperate if a girl such as you is going to be pressed into combat service. But you are what you are. You're the pilot of the Strike GUNDAM, and we need you to do us a favor."

"A favor?" I asked.

"This is the strategy Ashman's outlined with us to destroy the Desert Tiger, otherwise known as Andrew Waltfeld," Natarle Badgiruel said. "We're going to start implementing it in the dead of night tonight."

"We're going to kill Waltfeld?" I asked.

"That's the ultimate goal, yes," Ashman said. "Our current enemy is the Tiger. I don't like how the Earth Alliance does things but you have the firepower and intangibles to help us kill him and free our people."

I could tell that no one was joking about this. They really did have a plan. Murrue looked at me again. "Cagalli, please have a seat."

"Fine," I growled and I sat down on the nearest chair facing Ashman. It figured that after two days of being on this ship and not interacting with any of the officers that the first thing they'd do is drag me into a room where I was going to learn who I was going to kill.

Ashman leaned over the holographic display, and pointed at Tassil. "Your crash-landing in Tassil changed a lot of things for the Tiger," he said.

"How?" I asked.

"Urban warfare isn't the Tiger's preference," Ashman said. "The Tiger has actively tried to avoid it, and hunt only the members of Desert Dawn down if possible. He seems to have some compassion for human life. I've been tempted to use that against him, but if I do so it will only enable the Tiger to annihilate everyone in sight."

But then Ashman smiled. "But the Tiger was not ready to attack Tassil. Your landing forced his hand, he had to try to get you and your machine and try to take Tassil violently. And he's taken a lot of casualties in the town. Our forces have managed to stall him, but they are low on ammunition and food and need to withdraw."

Ashman pointed at caves not far from where we were. "Our remaining forces in Tassil need to get here. From there they can use the underground network we have to escape completely. Your mission is to cover their escape, and inflict as much damage as you possibly can before you withdraw yourself."

"So I'm a distraction," I said.

"The best kind," Ashman said. "A lethal one."

Great, so I was going to be bait and take all of the attacks ZAFT could offer while Ashman's men got away scot-free. How was that fair?

We were being used and spat out, and this was going to be repeated until the Tiger was killed. I needed to find this guy and kill him quickly or we were either going to fight in this desert forever, or die in it.

Mu La Flaga joined in. "We have another pilot coming to join us, she was downed near Tassil and is en route to us. We have a Skygrasper ready to fly for her. She will help you and I in the distraction."

"Oh yeah? Who's she?" I asked.

"That's me," said a new voice. I turned and saw a tall woman with hair almost the color of flames and blue eyes standing at the entrance. She looked nearly as intimidating as Sahib Ashman did, even the fighters seemed to give her space and respect.

"That was fast," Natarle said, with a bit of surprise, and what sounded like suspicion, in her voice.

Ashman's eyes widened slightly. "Now if you told me that she was your Strike GUNDAM's pilot . . ."

"Thank you for the compliment, but I am not. I am an ordinary pilot. If I were extraordinary I wouldn't have already been shot down," the woman said. I looked at her shoulder and saw she was a First Lieutenant.

"What's your name?" I asked.

The woman looked at me, and I had the distinct realization that I was recognized somehow, even though there was no good reason she should. "My name is First Lieutenant Hilda Harken, Ensign Yamato."

I looked at her for a moment longer, and even though she turned her eyes back on Ashman, I sensed something was off. She recognized me. She knew who I was. And while she seemed to be pleasant there was this edge in her, like I was her enemy or something. Or, even worse, a target.

Why? Why was this woman giving me that impression? Especially as everything about her body language, eyes, or voice seemed perfectly normal?

She walked right up to Mu La Flaga and saluted. "It is a pleasure to fly with you, Lieutenant Commander. You are the Hawk of Endymion after all."

"Uh, thank you, Lieutenant," La Flaga said, clearly surprised by the formality.

"Endymion?" I asked dumbly. I had heard the name before but couldn't place it.

"That was a battle where Lieutenant Commander La Flaga single-handedly defended an Earth Alliance fleet from ZAFT forces," Natarle Badgiruel did. "Though he doesn't seem to display the medals he earned from that battle."

"There's a time and place to display them and that is not while we're still at war," La Flaga said.

"Back to business," Ashman said, as he took a sip of his coffee. "You, Ensign, will lead the distraction unit into the edge of Tassil. The town is still standing, but I don't want you to actually wander inside. Just draw the ZAFT forces out and fight them while the remaining fighters in town withdraw. We will launch a signal flare to let you know when to pull back."

"I have a limited power supply," I said. "How much time would you need?"

"Long enough. If you have to come back, recharge, and deploy again, so be it," Ashman said.

Wonderful. So basically I was going to keep getting thrown to the wolves so Ashman's own men would escape. Some plan.

Despite having all the weaponry, it was quite clear who had the power in this room. And that was Sahib Ashman. The man didn't have our weaponry, but he had something none of us had. He inspired fear and respect, and he was not afraid to use either to his advantage.

"I understand," I finally said, not wanting to make him ornery by not responding at all.

"Excellent. After my men are out of Tassil, we will begin operating to destroy the Tiger once and for all," Ashman said.

"That simple, huh?" La Flaga asked.

"Yes, that simple. You people arriving are a gift from Allah. You think I would be a fool and not use you?" Ashman asked. "I don't think so."

He got up after downing what remained of his coffee. "After my men escape, we will need supplies, munitions. I'm sure your group needs some as well. I have many contacts that will give us what we need. Be ready to start those operations once the Tassil evacuation is finished."

"I understand," Ramius said.

Ashman nodded and walked away, and his fighters, including young Ahmed, left with him, leaving us on the bridge.

Hilda Harken shook her head. "I can't believe you're just going to let him order us around, Captain Ramius."

"There's no choice. This is Ashman's territory," Ramius said. "Before you and Ensign Yamato arrived, Ashman made it pretty clear that if we did not fight him he would treat us like the 'Tiger'."

"His exact words were 'destroy you without hesitation'," La Flaga said. "I'm pretty sure we could fight off an attack by Desert Dawn, but even so, that will leave us alone and outgunned by Andrew Waltfeld."

"That doesn't excuse letting him intimidate us," Badgiruel said.

"I'm inclined to agree. I thought that commanders of a brand-new ship like this would be braver to use it," Harken added.

I didn't envy Ramius' position. Now she had two people, Badgiruel and Harken, openly questioning her authority. Knowing that two exceptionally important subordinates didn't trust her adjustment had to hurt. At least La Flaga seemed to be taking Ramius' side, but that still didn't bode well. That meant there could easily be a power struggle for this ship and that would royally suck for all of us.

I wanted to stay neutral, but at the same time, I much preferred to have Ramius in command instead of Badgiruel. Ramius actually had some compassion and at least she didn't want to shoot first and ask questions later. And she didn't view me as an asset either, she viewed me as a human life.

So I decided to support Ramius. "I think the captain's right," I said. "I don't like this situation any more than any of us do but the captain is making the right call. In an environment like this, it's best to keep our enemies to a minimum."

Ramius smiled at me. "Thank you, Ensign."

"No problem," I said.

"Hmmph." I turned at Harken's noncommittal grunt and saw the smallest little smile on her face. It was just for a second, then it was gone.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing, Ensign. Nothing at all. Just remember to watch your back out there. I'm not sure anyone has it."

And like that, she turned around and left the room.

"Damn, she's a piece of work," La Flaga said.

"I think we all are at this point," Badgiruel grumbled.

For once, I thought Badgiruel was right.