Well, this is the last chapter that follows the original Gundam SEED storyline. While some events from the original SEED may still be revisited, the circumstances and perspectives and conclusions will be different. We are, at long last, traveling into uncharted territory. I hope people enjoy the ride.

This chapter is going up a little early so I can concentrate on my NaNoWriMo writing project. However, for once in my life, I can reply to everybody who reviewed. Let's start:

mrs. zala: Cagalli's path through the SEED story has been harsher than Kira's was in the original version, and when you have the choices and consequences that she has, I think it's impossible for self-pity to not emerge. War does that to you.

I can say your other questions will be answered soon enough but elaborating will be spoilerific so . . . sorry. XD

Light-Sakura: Thank you, for both your comment and for sticking with this story for so long!

372259: As usual, your praise is always nice to read, and a little embarrassing in a flattering way. I'm glad you enjoyed the Kira/Cagalli moment (even if it's just a reversal of that moment from the original SEED) and Elle as well.

forthesakeofpeace: I think it's obvious that Cagalli and Tolle are drifting apart. Whether they can can back together or not is largely up to them.

tinylittlerobots: Haha, I think Kira was more embarrassed than creeped out. He's not the type to really enjoy the whole "prince" title thing. XD As for Flay, well, she's undergoing her own transformation. Flay seems to be heading towards a more heroic path than it originally seemed, though you never know, I could be fooling you all. XD

Thanks again!


Chapter Forty: The Illusion of Safety

I spent the first hour of the next morning playing with Elle and playing with Elle's cat, who I had somewhat forgotten about since our arrival in the desert, but Miriallia seemed to have taken care of it in the meantime. I guess Miriallia's prediction of being the "crazy cat lady" all the way back in space was turning into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Tori was still flying around all over the ship, annoying people. I had finally caught the blasted robo-bird and brought it into my room, and then I learned why Tori didn't want to be in my room anymore. Elle's cat thought Tori made the perfect toy. It took only a few minutes for me to let Tori fly out of the room and start wandering the ship all over again. It was better than the poor thing being bullied by a cat.

I felt better. I still didn't feel like my old self, but I felt closer to that person than I had since Tassil. And I would take that.

When Miriallia and I traded places being Elle's caretaker, I had specific plans in store. I hadn't been onboard the Strike since killing Waltfeld. I needed to get back in the cockpit, and run a simulation. Get some practice in. I was a Coordinator but even Coordinators needed practice. Letting my fear control me was not going to help anybody in this situation.

When I went to get my slop that passed for breakfast, I found myself unexpectedly bumping into Murrue. "Oh, hi Captain!" I managed after barely getting out of her way in time.

Murrue chuckled. "It's all right, Lieutenant. How are you this morning?"

"Just trying to get the courage to enjoy this absolutely wonderful mystery slop. Want some?"

Murrue chuckled again. "Nice to see your sense of humor's back as well. But it's okay. I'm going to get my own portion."

Murrue paused for a second before continuing. "We can eat in the officer's room if you like. I get the sense there's a lot you want to talk to me about. I know there's some things I'd like to say to you as well."

I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but Murrue's demeanor was comforting enough to make me feel I wasn't in trouble.

"Yes, ma'am," I said, still trying to process the various scenarios in my head as I spoke.

Murrue's smile stayed. "You're not in trouble. Just meet me there, okay? It won't take long."

"Uh, all right."

I watched Murrue walk towards the cafeteria to get served her regularly-scheduled slop, then turned and walked out the door, heading to the officers' room.

I could only wonder what possibly Murrue wanted to talk to me about.


Murrue chuckled. "Cagalli, there's nothing to be concerned about. You don't need to keep wearing that ridiculous facial expression that brings to mind a deer in headlights. I promise, you're not in trouble."

"I'm sorry ma-uh, Murrue," I said. It took me a moment to remember Murrue had given me permission to call her by first-name basis in private.

"You were busy yesterday," Murrue said. "I've heard you've been talking with Flay Allster a lot. I understand you have her sharing a room with you, Miriallia, and Elle now, if Miriallia is to be believed."

"I . . . I just want to help Flay. That's all," I replied. "I know Flay is doing better now. She's not as angry as she once was. She's trying to change. She's trying to be a better person. She needs to know that she's doing the right thing."

"I'm happy you're choosing to help Ensign Allster find her way," Murrue replied. "A lot of us had written Ensign Allster off as a lost cause in every sense of the term. But you've managed to get the ensign far enough along that she's back from the brink. That's a lot of faith on your part, and a lot of hard work. And because of that, we have another pilot onboard this ship. It's reassuring to know it's not just you and Lieutenant-Commander La Flaga anymore."

"Don't congratulate me yet, we don't know how the Flay-as-pilot experiment is going to end, Murrue," I replied. "The whole thing was an accident anyway, practically done on a whim, because Flay was poisoning Elle with her anti-Coordinator rants. I wanted to distract Flay, and have her channel her anger into the simulator. I never thought she would become good enough to fly the Skygrasper for real."

"If it means anything, Ensign Allster's been a model soldier since her promotion," Murrue said. "Do you think she's gotten over her prejudice at all?"

"I would hope so. She's acting like she has, or is trying to," I replied. "She didn't like how she felt after the battle. I don't blame her. Realizing that all your hatred won't get you anywhere is tough to take."

Murrue nodded solemnly. "I agree. It's something more people should realize. I wonder what made Flay realize it, though, when so many other people don't."

Like Asta, I thought upon hearing that. "It's her love for her father."

Murrue raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"When Kira and I approached her in the cockpit after that battle in the desert, she was thinking of her father. I think that made her wake up. I think that made her realize that all of us, whether ally or enemy, have loved ones, not just her."

Murrue nodded. "That makes sense. It's difficult to think about, and a lot of us just don't think about it because if we do, it makes it difficult to fight. At the same time, if we don't fight, we will die."

"You can count on me to keep fighting until we make it to Orb, Murrue," I said. "Maybe I'll even help you until Alaska if there's a way to keep me from being conscripted into the Earth Alliance forces permanently."

Murrue's eyes widened. "Would you really stay onboard until Alaska?"

"It might be the only way to keep the rest of you alive," I said. "Just because you're military doesn't mean I can just watch you leave Orb to meet certain death at the hands of those GUNDAM machines."

Part of me couldn't believe what I was saying. Staying onboard until Alaska? Keep fighting Athrun, ZAFT, my fellow Coordinators? Why would I want to keep doing that?

But Murrue was why. Mu La Flaga was why. All of the military personnel onboard this ship was why. They were a big part of the reason why I was still alive. Abandoning them after Orb just didn't sit right with me. They deserved to make it to safety too.

"If you do this, thank you, Cagalli," Murrue said with a warm smile. "I will do my very best to make sure you are flown to Orb instead of somewhere in the Atlantic Federation once we are safe in Alaska."

"I hope so. I'm already sick of this war. Part of the reason why I didn't join so many of the other Coordinators on Earth and join the fight as part of ZAFT is because I didn't want any part of this. But now I am, and I'm going to make sure as many people as possible make it to safety, whether it's here or Alaska."

It was then when the alarm blared. Murrue jumped out of her seat and ran to the intercom. "Bridge, this is Captain Ramius! What's going on?"

Romero Pal's voice. "We have strange readings approaching us at high speed underwater! They're moving far too fast to be sea creatures, ma'am!"

"I understand. I'm on my way," Murrue said.

"Thank you. I'll try to get confirmation on the forces," Pal said, and then Murrue clicked off the intercom.

"Cagalli, go," Murrue said firmly.

I knew what she meant without even thinking about it. "I'm on my way, ma'am!"

Murrue and I charged out of the room and ran in opposite directions.


Kira was still tinkering with the Strike when I ran up to him. "What are you doing now?"

"I'm trying to make adjustments to the Strike," Kira said.

"Well yeah, I know that, but-"

"Lieutenant-Commander La Flaga is taking the Launcher Pack with him. You're gonna be stuck on the ship. I'm trying to adjust the aim on this thing so you can fire on any targets underwater, but I can't get the setting right!"

"Wait, what'sgoing on?" I nudged up against Kira and turned on the com. "Captain, what the hell's going on here?"

Murrue's voice. "Lieutenant-Commander La Flaga is going after the flagship these underwater units have to be operating under, and Ensign Allster is going to escort him. La Flaga needs your Launcher Pack in order for this to work, Cagalli."

"How does he even know where this 'flagship' is?" I asked.

"We're using the wake of the enemy units to calculate the distance," Murrue replied. "In any case, your mission is to protect us from the edge of the launch bay. Effectively, you're the last line of defense."

Great. I'm being assigned guard duty. "Why couldn't I be told about this while I was suiting up or something?"

Natarle Badgiruel. "There was no time, Lieutenant. In any event, you aren't equipped to fight underwater. Beam weapons won't work, all you'll have are the Igelstellung machine-guns."

"Can't I have some depth charges or something?" I shouted back.

"The Strike can't be equipped with depth charges, Lieutenant," Badgiruel replied. "We only have a few anyway. La Flaga and Allster are taking them all on their sortie."

Being told this was so frustrating that I punched the side of the cockpit. "So effectively I'm useless, huh?"

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant. Please, like I said, protect us from the edge of the launch bay and do what you can."

Murrue's voice was even and should have been mollifying, but it still felt like an insult. I knew it wasn't intentional, they had to be right that the Strike couldn't fight underwater, but it didn't make me feel better. It didn't take away this feeling of uselessness.

"I understand, ma'am. I'll deploy, whatever much that means, once La Flaga and Allster launch," I replied, and I turned off the com.

Kira looked sympathetic. "I'm sorry."

"No. It's nice to not be the center of the action," I lied.

The truth was that I was so used to being the centerpiece of every battle plan that it was odd to basically be reduced to a small role. I should've relished it, but now all I felt was on edge. Like I should have been doing so much more. It made me want to punch a lot more than just the side of my cockpit.

Kira sighed. "If it means anything, beam weapons aren't necessarily useless underwater."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Kira's eyes turned serious, and his voice was firm. "If you do fall underwater, you'll be able to do damage with your beam sword. But the catch is that the beam sword is useless unless you have the sword connect with the ship's body and then turn it on."

That made sense in an odd way. "It sounds risky, though."

"Well, there's that and you can always try to steal the enemy's weapons and use it on them," Kira added, back to his usual, easygoing self.

"Sounds like I'm still useless," I grumbled.

I saw the two Skygraspers get in line to launch. "Kira, get going. It's time we all got set to launch."

Kira nodded, and he squeezed past me and out of the cockpit. "See you soon, okay?"

"It's not like I'm going very far, but I will," I said.

Kira chuckled. "There we go. That's a taste of the old you."

He shut the cockpit on me then, and I just sighed. I wasn't even tryingto be funny there, but it didn't surprise me overall. Everybody had made it clear that they wanted the old me back. I guess saying that had unintentionally helped in some way.

"All right," I said. "Get the Skygraspers out of the way. Let's do this."


I marched the Strike to the edge of the launch bay, and I heard Mu La Flaga on the radio. "I think we're up against the Marco Morassim unit. He's basically the Andrew Waltfeld of the sea, or at least that's who he's compared to. I would be careful and watch for any signs of trickery."

"That sounds fun," I muttered.

The plan for Allster and I are to use depth charges to force Morassim's flagship to surface and then I'm going to use the extra weaponry I have to blow it out of the water," La Flaga said. "No pun intended."

"I wish I could joke about this," Flay said. "These are all the depth charges we have? There's no margin for error!"

"It's simple. We don't screw up," La Flaga said. "Now follow me, Ensign."

"I'm right behind you, Lieutenant-Commander."

"And you, princess," La Flaga said, "Good luck."

"If I ever get promoted higher than you," I replied. "I'm going to find out some way to get revenge for all the times you-"

Miriallia's voice. "Cagalli! Something's coming right towards your position! I think it's going to rise from the water!"

"What?" I shouted, but before I could say anything else, a plume of water erupted before my eyes, and I suddenly saw a hideous violet Mobile Suit emerge from the water, aiming a gun right at me.

I did the natural thing and fired right at the Mobile Suit's midsection.

It exploded and the smoking remnant fell right back into the water where it had come from.

"What the hell was that?" I shouted.

"I think that was a DINN," replied Romero Pal. "It's a Mobile Suit configured for both naval and airborne warfare. Basically a GINN modified for use in the Earth's atmosphere though it can operate in limited capacity underwater."

I saw targets on my radar, all circling below the Archangel. I tried to get a read on them, and tried firing a few shots, but they seemed to do absolutely nothing. "And what else is below us?"

"GOOHNs, in all likelihood," Pal replied. "Think of them as Mobile Suits except they operate like submarines."

Explosions rocked the ship, and for a moment, I felt like the Strike was going to topple over into the water. "Now what?"

"The GOOHNs or whatever they are are firing at us from below the sea!" Miriallia shouted.

I aimed at the water, and used my targeting computer to try to track the GOOHNs, but they were moving way too fast for me to be an accurate shot. They were dodging me far too easily.

"I don't think the GOOHNs will be stupid enough to surface like that DINN was," I replied.

"Just do what you can! At least keep them busy!" Murrue yelled.

"I'm trying!" I said, but I was basically firing blind, I was hardly being effective as covering fire, much less being an actual threat.

I leaned over the side, trying to hit one of the GOOHNs the best I could with the rifle. Even with the leverage, even with the targeting system, I still couldn't hit them. I might as well have been firing at absolutely nothing.

"Tell Allster and La Flaga to hurry up and kill Morassim's flagship, because I'm not doing a hell of a lot!" I shouted.

"Just keep shooting! Do what you can, Lieutenant!" Murrue yelled.

"I don't know if I-"

More explosions rocked the ship, and all of a sudden the water was a hell of a lot closer than it had been.

In fact, I was at a weird angle. The G forces were skyrocketing. I felt heavier than a mountain.

Then the realization hit, right as the water seemed closer than ever.

I had fallen off the Archangel.

All of a sudden, the entire world was nothing but water. The cockpit automatically activated its pressure seal so no water got inside, but that was small consolation. Immediately, I could see both of the GOOHN units leer at me, and all of a sudden, I realized I was the primary target right now.

"Uh, Archangel. Help. Please. Somehow."

"Did you fall into the water?" Badgiruel shouted.

"Yes," I managed as one of the GOOHNs immediately accelerated at me.

Whatever Badgiruel or Murrue or anyone else was gonna say was immediately cut off as the GOOHN rammed me hard and sent me out of control. It felt like the entire world was ending as I was jostled throughout the cockpit, and before I could reset myself, I was hit again.

I was hit two more times before I was able to get myself reset, and it was just in time to see one of the two GOOHNs bearing down at me again.

I was not in the mood to be rammed yet again.

I could hear Badgiruel. "Lieutenant, I believe they're equipped with shotguns but they're not using them. I think they want to take the Strike intact. Use that against them!"

"What do you think I'm doing?" I shouted through gritted teeth as I forced the Strike to face the GOOHN that was about to hit me. I could vaguely taste blood in my mouth, and my tongue was in a lot of pain, I had probably bitten it, but I didn't care.

I had lost my rifle after all of the ramming, but I reached out the Strike's hands and grabbed the GOOHN as it rammed me once more. The jostling was still borderline dizzying, but it was tolerable this time. I turned on the Igelstellungs, and basically "spray n' prayed", as Kira had once put my fighting style.

At first, it looked like the machine-guns were doing nothing, but then I saw bubbles rapidly shoot out of the GOOHN. I had depressurized the machine. I quickly backed off and watched as the GOOHN imploded on itself, its debris beginning to fall to the ocean floor below.

I saw the shotgun Badgiruel had mentioned in the midst of the destroyed GOOHN's debris, and quickly forced the Strike into the debris and grabbed the weapon. As I did so, some of the debris blocked a small missile barrage from the other GOOHN.

"It looks like taking me alive is no longer in their plans," I said as I got the Strike's hands in position to fire the shotgun. It was an awkward fit, I immediately saw that I could not aim the weapon to the right all the way, but it would have to do. I was just going to have to adjust how I aimed and fired, and hope that the GOOHN wouldn't notice my sort-of blind spot.

"Lieutenant, please be careful. I don't know how far the Strike can sink in the ocean before you have trouble," Murrue said.

"Then let's just hope I don't find out," I said as I accelerated towards the GOOHN, the stolen shotgun in hand.

It felt almost like being in outer space again, at least in how I could manuever the Strike. Unfortunately, that had a disadvantage. Kira had modified the Strike to fight in the atmosphere. Returning back to conditions somewhat reminiscent of space made the Strike feel awkward, though maybe it was just because I was fighting underwater which was an entirely new environment of its own.

"Come on," I whispered as I charged the GOOHN. "Accelerate and ram me again. I dare you."

At first, I thought I had gotten my wish. The GOOHN was charging right at me, and I readied the shotgun, putting myself at an angle so I could get a good shot.

Then I realized something.

The GOOHN had equipped its shotgun, too.

It wasn't going to ram me, it was going to shoot me.

If a Mobile Suit's shotgun worked in any way similar to a handheld shotgun . . .

I was going to die. Horrifically.

It aimed its own shotgun right at me, and I desperately pushed the controls to their maximum as I tried to avoid the incoming blast. The shotgun fired and it seemed to miss me by mere inches, heading to my left, just missing the Strike's torso.

The GOOHN was a much bigger target, and there was no way I would miss at this range. In fact, with the GOOHN still accelerating towards me, it was borderline point-blank.

I fired the shotgun right into its left side as it was going to start passing me by. Instant depressurization, and suddenly I felt a massive force blast me away.

The world no longer made any sense. It was all a blur, gyrating around at rapid speed.

It felt like I was hitting something. I didn't know what. But I was hitting something, or being grabbed by something.

By that point, I was so dizzy and sick I felt asleep and didn't care.

I needed a break from the nonsensical world, and despite my conscious efforts to stay awake, my body would no longer listen.

The body had beaten the mind.


I felt myself waking up, and I realized I was no longer under the sea. But this wasn't the friendly confines of the Archangel's hangar either. Gazing out from my cockpit, it was clear that this place I had been dragged into was far too white, far too sterile, to be the Archangel and its lively hangar.

This didn't look like ZAFT territory either. It just felt like something else entirely. A total mystery.

Beeping. Coming from my right. With my right hand, I reached for my pistol. I didn't know where I was, but until I knew, I had to be safe. I was going to blast my way out of here if I had to. The only thing I could think of doing was turning the Strike on after I beat off this intruder and charge right out of here again.

The beeping stopped, and the cockpit opened up in front of my eyes, and suddenly I saw a young girl who looked like she could be my sister. She had brown eyes and blonde hair, just like me, but her hair was styled a little differently, it seemed wavy. She wore white clothes, as if she was a patient in a hospital, but that was not a surgical gown she had on. No, they looked like military fatigues, except in pure white.

And, in her right hand, was a knife.

"I'm scared of dying," she said softly.

Underneath the softness of her youthful voice, which sounded stuck between a child's and a teenager's, was an underlying intensity that seemed inhuman. Her eyes were wide, and seemed almost feral.

"I'm scared of dying too," I said, unsure of how quickly I should draw my pistol. It didn't help this girl couldn't be older than thirteen or fourteen. I couldn't quite come to grips with the idea of murdering a child to ensure my own survival.

"I don't want to die. But Doctor Malcolm says if I don't kill the Coordinators I'll die. Auel, Sting, me, everybody. Everybody will die."

Okay. This didn't sound like a ZAFT thing to me, but this wasn't typical Earth Alliance either. In fact, it sounded almost Blue Cosmos-ish.

Which was a death sentence for me anyway, I realized to my horror.

Out of all the places to wash up, it had to be a Blue Cosmos facility. And it had a psychotic kid waiting to gut me like a fish that had come up too far from the shallows.

"Kid, please, put the knife down. Put it down. Don't make me kill you," I said.

That was exactly the wrong thing to say. Her mud-brown irises seemed to widen upon hearing that. "You'll kill me?"

All of a sudden, those youthful eyes narrowed. Her voice became cold, merciless. "No. I'll kill you. I don't want to die. You will die instead."

She raised her knife, and I knew there was no way out of it. I wasn't going to let myself be murdered by this girl, uncomfortable similarities with me or not.

I aimed my pistol at her forehead as the knife went up in the air, and I put my finger on the trigger.

I was a second away from killing a girl.