Thank you for your kind words, everyone. It's heartening and inspiring, especially after such a long absence. Yes, there will be a part 3, and it will be in the same fic as this one.

Enjoy the finale of part 2.


Chapter Forty-Eight: My World

"I can't believe it," Miriallia said softly as we stood in the hangar bay. Bagiruel had gathered everyone there, putting the Archangel on autopilot during the voyage to Onogoro Island, where the ship was going to dock. "The war's finally over."

I felt a funny ache in my chest and looked over at Tolle. He offered me a smile, but neither of us made a move to get closer to each other. I could tell there was something tense underneath the surface, I had lost my ESP but not my ability to read people's faces. I wondered if Tolle had heard the conversation between Athrun and I and had gotten the wrong idea.

I knew Tolle's and my relationship was getting rocky, but now that we were returning to Orb, I was wanting to reconnect with him. I had been distant, I had been altered, I had put up with a lot, but now, I felt the closest to being back to normal since the whole ordeal began. I had neglected Tolle's and my relationship since Tassill and I wasn't going to let that happen anymore.

Flay just shook her head. "It's not over. Not by a long shot. Earth Alliance and ZAFT are just gonna keep killing each other, and I'm sure they want to drag Orb into it too."

Kuzzey laughed nervously. "Man, I hope not. I've had enough of war and the military."

"I haven't." Flay opened and closed one of her fists. "I was going to register with the Orb military after a short breather. I know Orb's short on pilots. With my Skygrasper certification that'll be my way in."

Sai grumbled something and looked away. He and Flay had never reconnected after they fell out, and it looked like resurrecting that relationship was a pipe dream.

"You're really gonna join the military for real, Flay?" Kuzzey asked, surprised.

"My daddy's dead. I have no other family who can take me in. There's nowhere else for me to go, nothing else to do. I might as well serve the country that I've lived in for all of these years. I have the power to do it. I should put it to good use," Flay replied.

There was a grim undertone in Flay's words that was making me uncomfortable. "Look, let's worry about our future plans once we dock and get back on land. I know that we're scattered all over the damn country so we're not going to see each other in person again for a while," I said. "Not until they find a college for us to go to, anyway."

"Heh. Right 'bout that one," Tolle said.

"Tolle and I live on the same island," Miriallia said. "You actually live here on Onogoro yourself, right Cagalli?"

"Yeah, when my family didn't take up residence in Heliopolis itself," I replied. "My parents wanted to stay closer to me the last few years, and my father's business required him to shuffle between Onogoro and Heliopolis a lot, so it worked out."

Of course, with Heliopolis being destroyed . . . "I don't know what my dad is gonna do anymore, though. Heliopolis . . . doesn't exactly exist."

I saw Badgiruel approach the makeshift podium that had been set up for her. It looked like she had some prepared remarks for us. That was Badgiruel for you. Murrue had a tendency to speak off the cuff and improvise, but Badgiruel liked having everything as prepared as possible.

"Looks like she's finally gonna speak," Kuzzey said.

Badgiruel cleared her throat and I heard the mic come to life with a quick high-pitched squeal. "Good evening everyone. I summoned you all here to inform you that we have finally made it to safety. After two months of hardship and constant battle, we have managed to find refuge in the country of Orb. Naturally, many of you claim Orb as your home, so you not only have safety, but the freedom of your home country as well."

Her eyes shifted over the crowd before she continued. "I want all of you to know that your contributions are the reason why we have made it here. Essentially all of you, when given the opportunity, rose to the circumstances and became soldiers in order to help make sure as many people onboard this ship made it to safety as possible. For those of you who were already soldiers, you transformed into better ones. You all have my gratitude for your contributions and efforts."

She adjusted her papers. "Before we depart this ship, I have taken the opportunity to print out copies of a list of everyone who served on this ship from January 25th C.E., the day Heliopolis came under attack, to today, March 24th C.E.. The names are listed in order of boarding the ship, from the Archangel's original crew to our newest additions from that secret Earth Alliance base. I would like you to take one of the lists with you as you depart. Not everyone who started out this journey with us made it to our destination, and I wish for their names to not be forgotten. They fought, and died, for us to be here today. A red mark next to their names indicate that they were killed in action. Unmarked means that they are on this ship now, they survived to the end of the journey."

Badgiruel sighed. "I know that the journey was rough on all of us. We had limited supplies and a lot of people who had to learn on the fly. People had to be shuffled around and learn things they were originally not trained to do. And we had crises and disagreements and more people thrown into the brig than we all wished. But we made it work. We held together and became a crew under Captain Ramius and we managed to hold together even after losing her. That was all that was asked of you all, and you pulled it off, no matter how major or minor your contribution was. Thank you again, so very much."

She shuffle her papers again. Badgiruel actually seemed to be on the brink of crying in her last few words, but her eyes hardened and she was back to business again.

"Orb civilians. Due to us becoming a rogue ship, I do not believe the Earth Alliance will release the pay that was owed to you for your service. I sincerely apologize for that. There is nothing I can do about that. What I was able to do was send a message to Orb to contact your loved ones. Hopefully many of them will be there to greet us when you depart this ship."

A lot of people began cheering, and I felt a silly grin cross my face too. My parents . . . my parents had to know I was alive then. I hoped that they did okay without me. I was gone for such a long time.

"Earth Alliance personnel from Atlantic and Eurasian Federations," Badgiruel boomed, drowning out the scattered applause. "I apologize to you as well. Because we are fugitives, we cannot return home without being court-martialed and likely put to death. I wish there was something more I could do for you right now. The least I can do is expose the truth of that military base in the Indian Ocean and try to facilitate the downfall of the Earth Alliance forces that would have us destroyed for what we know. Only then will we be able to return home. For now, you have your lives and your peace. And I will not stop until justice is served, for us, and for our fallen captain, Murrue Ramius."

She took a deep breath, and looked out over us for what seemed to be a long time, perhaps hours. Then she took her papers in her hand and clsoed her eyes. "Thank you again for your service. You are all dismissed."

Cheers erupted from the hangar. I don't think very many people cared that they weren't going to see a dime for their services onboard this ship. They were just happy to make it home, or to any kind of safety. The hope was, obviously that because they were in a neutral nation the war was over for them. I wanted to believe that. We had been fighting almost nonstop for so very long. We all deserved a long break from any kind of violence in general.

I looked for Tolle but lost him and my friends in the tumult of the crowd. Feeling squeezed in, I escaped the crowd and left the hangar bay.

I was going to celebrate in my own way. If I couldn't find my friends and celebrate with them, I was just going to be the first person off this ship and celebrate with my parents. I hoped they knew that I was alive. I truly hoped word had gotten out to them. I just wanted to go home, to my real home, and flop on a bed and just sleep for the rest of my life. No more war. No more violence.

But I had a bigger family now too. I knew my mom and dad would just be thrilled about Stellar. Elle they'd adjust to quicker. I doubted that Elle would find a relative that would adopt her, and she wouldn't be willing to be adopted by anyone other than me and maybe Miriallia anyway. Stellar was different. With her conditioning and struggle with certain words, it was going to be hard to get her to adjust to civilian life.

I knew it was something I shouldn't worry about until I saw my parents, but I couldn't help myself. I was thinking of my life post-war. I was full of ideas and dreams again, for the first time in two months. I didn't care if I spent the rest of my life knitting. I just wanted peace and I wanted to be with my family, however strange it was.

It was then that I ran into Natarle Badgiruel for what I thought would be the last time.


I was about to gather Elle and Stellar when Badgiruel approached me in one of the hallways. "2nd Lieutenant Yamato, I would like a moment with you."

Even though I was pretty much discharged, she was going to keep the military ranks going until the end. Now, I find that kind of endearing about Natarle Badgiruel. Then, not so much.

"Yes, ma'am?" I asked.

She walked up to me. "Cagalli Yamato, you are a loose cannon, you're extremely aggressive in adversity, you attack every problem in your path, and you stay fervently loyal to what you believe in even when logic tells you otherwise."

I figured there was a "but" in there somewhere and so didn't interrupt her while she was talking. "Yes?" I finally asked.

"You refused to let what happened to you corrupt you. I find that commendable. Captain Ramius is the only other person I knew who is like you that way. I respect that about you both."

Badgiruel chuckled softly. "My wish for you, Cagalli Yamato, is to not let that aspect of yourself change. Continue fighting for what you believe in. I could not do the same, and that gave me a trick cartilage in my knee that forced me to change military careers, where I became an officer in the navy. And no, I can't talk about the injury or what I did. That remains classified and I'd prefer it to remain so."

I didn't see the point considering she was no longer part of the Earth Alliance, she was a fugitive like me now. A deserter. "You know, you're not beholden to the Earth Aliance military anymore. I'm sure-"

"You'll know when I feel ready to disclose the information," Badgiruel replied.

There was a firmness to her words that strongly suggested that I drop the subject. "All right," I said.

"What are your plans now?" Badgiruel asked.

"Go back to school. After that I don't know," I replied. "I don't plan on fighting for any military ever again."

"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by that answer," Badgiruel said. "I do think Orb would be happy to have you in their own military."

"It's not what I want to do," I replied. "I was going to be a diplomat, a translator. You've seen that I can speak several languages."

"You need to work on your diplomatic skills considering how confrontational you are," Badgiruel raid with a bit of a knowing smirk on her face. "Just some words of advice."

I smiled back. "What do you know. Lieutenant-Commander Natarle Badgiruel has a sense of humor. Who knew?"

"Just you and me now, apparently." Badgiruel's smile faded then. "This wasn't the main reason why I'm here, however. I do have some more words for you. A warning."

The moment she said 'warning' any sense of humor I had immediately vanished. "Yes?"

"After what we did, it's likely there will be infiltrators after you. Blue Cosmos will not look kindly upon what we did, or upon you. I think there is a good chance that Blue Cosmos or a ZAFT infiltration team will make an attempt on your life before this war is over, to either capture you and force you to fight, or to ensure you will never be used against them. I'm not saying that this is guaranteed, but I want you to watch yourself."

This was the last thing I wanted to hear, but I didn't want to argue with her. Regardless, she was right.

Hilda Harken, before we turned her back over to ZAFT, told me basically that the upper echelons of the PLANT government wanted me killed because I was fighting for the Earth Alliance. Perhaps that's why the GUNDAMs kept coming after me instead of be deployed where they could be more useful. The objective was to kill me. That might change now that I was in Orb and intended to stay there, but that didn't rule out being kidnapped or just getting killed anyway just so I'm no longer some random intangible.

And then there's Blue Cosmos. Now that I'm no longer killing my own kind, they could think the first thing I'll do is join ZAFT and fight them, so they may want me dead before that can happen.

Damn it. I hope Badgiruel is just being paranoid. But her words have too much truth behind them to just be paranoia.

"I'll be careful," I replied with complete honesty. "Even if it means I have to look over my shoulder for the rest of my lie, I'll be careful."

"Thank you," Badgiruel replied.

She turns around. "Captain Ramius would be proud of you, Cagalli. Just don't let her sacrifice go to waste. She traded her life for yours."

"I won't," I replied. "I promise."

Badgiruel nodded once, and departed without a further word. I guess there was nothing else to say.

Still, she was right. I couldn't let what Murrue had done for me go to waste. My whole life was ahead of me now because Murrue had come back for me. I had to live a fulfilling life, a good life, to try to make up for what Murrue gave up in order to save me.

It's what Murrue would have wanted for me anyway.

I just wasn't sure where to start.


"Auel's going to be moving on with that doctor lady," Stellar said to me as we departed the Archangel. It was sad to see that while Elle had bags, Stellar didn't have much of anything. While I was wearing my outfit from that day in Heliopolis, we had to put Stellar in a skirt and sweater owned, but not worn by, Elle's mother. Both were too big on her but not so big that Stellar would look ridiculous. "I think that means he's going to stay on the ship, that's what the doctor lady plans on doing."

"And what about Sting?" I asked.

"He's just going to stay on the ship and help too," Stellar says. "He doesn't have anywhere better to go."

So both Sting and Auel were going to stay on the Archangel and probably try to join the crew, or at least serve as some kind of child auxiliaries. Orb did have a few of those. Some paperwork and both Sting and Auel could become child auxiliaries and be allowed to assist on the ship, though they wouldn't be allowed to operate any weaponry.

Still . . . "Are you sure you want to leave the ship then, and come with me? Sting and Auel are your friends, Stellar."

"Cagalli . . . I want to stay with you. Please," Stellar said.

"All right. Just making sure that this is what you want," I replied.

"I want to see your mom and dad," Stellar said. "I want to see this peaceful country. I want to be safe. That's all I want."

"What are your mom and dad like, Cagalli?" Elle chimed in.

I was surprised by that question, and even further surprised that neither one of them had asked that before.

"They're good people," I said. "Very good people. Loving and kind. My mom's strong and brave, and my father is smart and supportive. You'll like them both. I'm sure they'll like you in return, Elle."

Elle smiled slightly at that, but I could see the nervousness in her eyes. She was worried she was going to be rejected. Stellar was blissfully off in her own world, not really thinking about that possibility, which I honestly kinda envy her for. But Elle? While she was still a young girl, these two months of war and losing her mother had aged her internally. Some of her innocence was gone long before it should have.

Plus, her mother's murder had never been resolved. It was eating at me as we left the ship and walked through the harbor. The murderer of Dorothy Eliarez was walking off scot-free. Why Dorothy Eliarez had to be murdered, and who did it, seemed like it was going to be a mystery forever.

It could have been Flay, she had been massively unstable back then. Natarle Badgiruel was fixated on Miriallia being the murderer but I just couldn't see Miriallia capable of that.

So who could've done it?

Would I ever know? Just like with my birth parents. Would I ever know who they were? What happened to them?

Caridad Yamato and Haruma Yamato, my adoptive mother and father respectively, are actually my maternal aunt and uncle. I don't consider them that. They are my mother and father. They've never had any children of their own, not for lack of trying. But I've always been their child, their daughter, and you know what, that's what matters to me. My birth parents never were an issue, nor was the fact that neither spoke much about them. I didn't even know the names of my birth parents. And I didn't care. Caridad and Haruma Yamatowere my parents.

As I've said, I don't look like my parents. That's how I figured out I was adopted. My mother shares some facial features with me like the shape of our eyes and that's it, and my father doesn't look one bit like me. They've never told me much about my birth mother and father. I've never pried deeply. It's never been much of a concern to me.

Now I wondered if I should start asking those questions. Who my birth parents were. And why I was abandoned by them.

And then I saw Caridad and Haruma Yamato and all of those questions vanished from my mind.

I stopped in the middle of the walkway the moment I saw them. Both are in their late thirties, my mother's a beautiful woman who always dyes her hair blue, the same color of her eyes, and she has this deep, rich, smooth voice that I wish I had. My father is tall, stout, handsome, with dark hair and eyes, and his voice is soft and resonant, he gets your attention without raising his voice at all.

I wanted to get their attention but when I attempted to speak all that came out was a soft croak. "Mom . . . Dad."

"Cagalli?" Elle asked.

"Are you okay?" Stellar asked.

My eyes and heart were both aching upon seeing them. My eyes were blurring with tears, and I frantically rubbed my eyes on my sleeve. I couldn't help myself. It had been so long, and they knew I was alive. I could see them scanning the crowd that was leaving the Archangel, trying to find me.

I couldn't do anything more than run forward towards them, pushing and shoving my way through the crowd.

"Cagalli!" I could hear Stellar grab Elle and try to follow me through the crowd, but I didn't stop to wait for them. I couldn't. All I wanted in that moment was my mother and father.

Finally, I got through. I felt like I had run a marathon to get through the crowd, and now, the crowd had parted just enough for me to get a clear view of my parents.

My mother saw me first. Her face, her beautiful, youthful face, turned towards me, and her eyes widened, and her mouth fell open, just a little. "C-Cagalli?"

My father reacted next. "Cagalli!"

I croaked out my words again. "Mom . . . Dad."

I wanted to just fall on my knees but instead I forced myself to run forward. I could barely see them through my hazy vision, and I nearly stumbled and fell on my face twice, but I wouldn't let anything stop me. Not anymore.

Finally, my vocal cords began working as I came within arm's reach. "Mom! Dad!"

I wound up falling into the arms of Mom first. I buried my head in her shoulder and just let myself cry. It just felt like months and months of stress and sorrow and anger and everything else I could imagine was pouring out of me all at once. Mom's arms wrapped around me and I let her hold me for a while.

"It's okay, Cagalli," Mom said softly. "It's okay."

"I love you," I somehow managed to say. "I love you, Mom. I love you, Dad."

"We love you too," Dad said.

It took me a moment to see that Mom and Dad were on the brink of tears too.

We had all missed each other so much.

"We thought you were dead," Mom said. "You have no idea how much of a shock we got a couple of hours ago when we were told you were still alive, that you were on a warship."

"I know," I said. "I know."

I didn't know where to begin with telling them what had happened to me. My journey from Heliopolis all the way to here. How to explain I wound up piloting some secret giant robot called a GUNDAM and piloted it and had to protect the ship and how I killed people . . .

How my childhood best friend wound up becoming my enemy and yet somehow saved my life when I was plummeting into the atmosphere.

"Cagalli!" Stellar's voice jarred me back to reality. I turned from Mom's arms and looked over at a breathless Stellar Louissier, and an equally breathless Elle Eliarez, who's hand was wrapped in Stellar's own hand.

"I'm sorry," I said, wiping my eyes. "This is my mom and dad. Mom, Dad, this is Stellar Louissier and Elle Eliarez. I kinda picked up some little sisters along the way."

"You what now?" Dad said, looking like his mind had been blown (sorry, Dad!).

"What happened to you?" Mom asked. "Are they war orphans?"

"It'll take a long time to explain," I said, wiping my eyes again. "I'll probably have to put it in writing to make any sense of it."

"I can guess," Mom said, looking as dumbfounded as Dad did.

"Don't guess. Your wildest guesses are going to be way off," I said. I turned them both and forced a smile. "It's a long story."


Someday, I will come to love my world. Yes, it's crazy. Yes, it is full of hatred. Yes, it is full of violence. Yes, it is even full of betrayal. But it is full of people who I care about and who care about me.

I am not going to let the world kill me. I am not going to let the world's cruelty change me into something I'm not, into the very thing I am fighting.

That's not who I am. I refuse to be that way.

I'm Cagalli Yamato and that will never change, no matter who my parents were, or what people try to turn me into.

There are many things in this world that are wonderful and I will protect them. As long as there is more happiness than pain there is still a point to living.

I have to do my best to protect my world and all who reside in it and share it with me, and to defeat those that seek to destroy it. I may not have been put on this earth to do that, but that's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to let destiny or biology or super-special genetics or anything like that dictate what I become. Only I will dictate what I will become. And those who don't believe so are going to learn that the hard way.

I'm not giving up. Not on this world, not on the PLANTs, not on Coordinators, not on Naturals. I won't do that. If I do that I am little more than the monsters I fight, if not worse.

I will never give up. I'm not built that way.

And I'm not built to crumble.

That is me, that is Cagalli Yamato.

And that is how I'm going to live my life, and appreciate all of the little moments that transpire within it.

And I will never forget that. Never.

PART 2: MOMENT FINIS


Music theme list for part 2:

"Where One Road Ends", "Rain", "Pounding the Pavement", and "Guiding Hand" are all compositions by Martin O'Donnell and Michael Salvatori, written for the video game Halo 3: ODST.

"The Beauty of Gray" is a song by Live.

"Just a Girl" is a song by No Doubt.

"The Only" is a song by Static-X.

"Town of Fiction" is a composition by Rio Hamamoto for the video game Ace Combat: Assault Horizon.

"Fractured (Everything I Said Was True)" is a song by Taproot.

"In The Wake of Determination" is an album by Story of the Year.

"Walk" is a song by Foo Fighters.

"Smoke & Mirrors" is an album by Lifehouse.

"Eye of the Tiger" is a song by Survivor.

"Overexposed" is an album by Maroon 5.

"Lost in the Echo" is a song by Linkin Park.

"Push It" is a song by Static-X.

"Lights Out" is a song by Breaking Benjamin.

"Winds of Change" is a song by Kutless (yes, I wasn't referencing the Scorpions XD).

"Broken Hearts, Torn Up Letters, and the Story of a Lonely Girl" is a song by Lostprophets.

"The Illusion of Safety" is an album by Thrice.

"Someone, Somewhere" is a song by Asking Alexandria.

"The Hero Dies in This One" is a song by The Ataris.

"Time After Time" is a song by Cyndi Lauper.

"Awakening" is a song by Mae.

"Sweet Emotion" is a song by Aerosmith.

"Unity" is a song by Shinedown.

"Commit This to Memory" is an album by Motion City Soundtrack.

and "My World" is a song by SPYAIR, written for the anime Mobile Suit Gundam AGE.

Thank you for reading this far! Until next time!