So yeah . . . a lot has happened over the course of the last few chapters, haven't they? Just like chapter 52, this is more of a "characterization" chapter. After all, Cagalli hasn't associated with any of the PLANT/ZAFT characters for the whole story up until now . . . well, besides fighting them. They need to get their characterization in.

Someone noticed the FMA reference in the last chapter. There was a whole truckload of references, actually. Yes, there was the "Mustang" reference for FMA, but there was also . . .

1. A reference to Maka Albarn from Soul Eater (the last name of Mustang's partner in that scene).

2. Albarn and Mustang's first names (Laura and Travis) are references to Laura Bailey and Travis Willingham, who portray the characters (Maka Albarn and Roy Mustang) in English.

3. Laura Albarn and Travis Mustang's appearances are meant to resemble Bailey and Willingham's real-life appearances.

4. The "miniskirt army" line is a reference to Travis Willingham's fan club, the Miniskirt Army.

Yes, I seem to have OCD and anal-retentive aspects when it comes to stuff like this. I can't help myself sometimes. It was supposed to be a one-off joke/shoutout and wound up ballooning into a ton of them in just one scene.

Anyway . . . now that we're over my OCD-ness of the whole gag, onto the chapter.


Chapter Fifty-Three: Welcome to the Masquerade

"So . . . you are the pilot who has somehow been beating the very best pilots and machines under my command."

Finally meeting Rau Le Creuset, Athrun's commanding officer, in person was . . . eerie. That was the best word for it. Eerie. He had long blonde hair and hid his eyes behind this white mask that also hid his pupils. There was no way to read this guy, the most I could figure was that underneath this odd serenity was a storm of intensity he kept clamped down. He wore a white officer's uniform, signifying he was of a Commander's rank and that he was in control of a sizable force.

"Yes," I said. "I am 1st Lieutenant Cagalli Yamato, Zala Team-"

"You don't need to give me the full details. I helped Athrun arrange your induction into ZAFT and assigned you to his unit. I know everything."

"Oh, right." I felt a wave of heat rush to my face and I knew I was blushing in embarrassment. The man's gaze and his resonant voice had a way of completely throwing me off guard without even trying to. I had never met a man like him before. And I wasn't sure whether I should respect him or cower in fear of him . . . or both.

Athrun was in the room with me, which made me feel a little better. "I heard we were being detached from your command and being sent back to the PLANTs, Commander. Do you have any information as to why it is or what our new assignment will be?"

"Ah, yes." Le Creuset walked back to his desk. "Right now I am preoccupied with the planning for Operation Spitbreak and all of my forces are in reserve. They want your team transferred into the service of the special forces operated by National Defense Committee. I believe they want you to deal with a small Earth fleet that has been causing some damage to our preparations. Then your team will drop into the atmosphere and assist the planetary insertion forces in building a beachhead, after which you will likely be transferred back into my command."

Sounded like they wanted me to drop right into the fire, not that it surprised me. But I was also confused. Athrun seemed familiar with the plans but I certainly was not. "Excuse me, but what's Operation Spitbreak?"

"Oh, right. You wouldn't know." Le Creuset turned to face me and I again felt like I was being cross-examined by that mask of his. I almost wanted to back away. "It's our effort to end the war in single blow. A lot of our forces are being committed to this operation. The plans I have indicate that the offensive will be conducted against the Earth Alliance in Panama."

"Panama? Why Panama?" I ask.

"The Earth Alliance only has one Mass Driver remaining, and that is in Panama," Le Creuset replied. "As you know, Mass Drivers are the only way we can transport large amounts of troops and cargo into outer space. If we conquer Panama, we cut off the Earth Alliance forces in space from any significant resupply on the ground."

"So effectively the war would be over," I replied. "Without any way to resupply the Earth Alliance's space forces are sitting ducks. Then ZAFT controls all of space and can besiege both the Earth Alliance's Moon bases and any city or country they wish at will. The only way out for the Earth Alliance would be to surrender."

"That's the general idea," Le Creuset agreed. "You catch on fast, 1st Lieutenant."

He smiled then. I was fairly certain he intended for it to be friendly but that mask gave it an enigmatic touch that made it seem mysterious, almost sinister. Why the hell did he wear that mask? And why did ZAFT allow him to wear it?

"I . . . participated in a lot of military operations," I said. "Lots of intricate planning when I was onboard theArchangel. I learned a lot."

"Clearly," Le Creuset said. He folded his arms in front of his face then. "Any issues we need to be worried about with you before you join Zala Team and leave the planet?"

"I, uh . . ." I couldn't really think of anything, but I knew there was something that was an active annoyance.

"Still get spacesick, Cagalli?" Athrun asked.

That's what it was! Spacesickness! I had that all the time while up in space, it took me almost the entire trip to finally get used to space enough to not need the anti-spacesickness pills. I highly doubted that ZAFT would be so patient with me this time.

"Yes," I said. Le Creuset just continued to stare at me, though, almost expression-less, which was creeping me out more than ever.

"Spacesickness, huh?" Le Creuset said. "We can't have that. Not at all."

"Huh?" I intelligently replied.

Le Creuset got up and began sifting through his desk. "I was worried about something like this. Coordinators aren't allowed to have spacesickness these days. Most of us live in space. It limits our effectiveness if we're spacesick."

"Well . . . I took anti-spacesickness pills while onboard the Archangel," I said. "It was a good enough fix. That's all I need, sir."

"We need something more permanent than that," Le Creuset said, and his voice, combined with that mask, served to scare the hell out of me in that instant.

"W-What do you mean?" I asked.

"A-ha." Suddenly Le Creuset had a syringe full of clear fluid from one of the drawers in his desk. Seeing immediately made me back away, behind Athrun, almost at the door. I was having no part in being injected with anything. I had already learned I was a glorified science experiment by my own father, and my boyfriend had been killed not only by Athrun but was forced into things by a manipulative organization. Not to mention said manipulative organization had plans to brainwash me and that likely involved injections too! No one was injecting anything into me. Ever.

"This should correct the genetic anomaly that gives you spacesickness," Le Creuset said nonchalantly, as if he wasn't noticing that I was completely terrified. "You didn't know that the PLANTs broke the code on that, did you?"

"I'll give her the injection, sir," Athrun said. "You're clearly making her nervous."

"Am I?" Le Creuset turned towards us then and that mask further made him seem eerie.

"She's, well . . . she's been through a lot the last few days, sir. A lot of people were trying to kill her before I took her out of Orb," Athrun said. "She is . . . justifiably paranoid. It's best that someone she trusts provides the injection."

"I see. That is understandable, then." Le Creuset reached across the desk and Athrun took the syringe out of Le Creuset's hand. "There is a nurse's office down the hall. Give her the injection there. As a commanding officer you do know basic medical procedures, correct?"

"Yes, I do, Commander," Athrun said.

"Excellent. Please give that to her before you both leave."

"I will, sir."

I didn't like Athrun pointing out that I was being a bit of a paranoid lunatic in that room but at the same time I was legitimately frightened. The way Le Creuset was acting . . . he was almost expecting me to admit I got spacesick. It was like with Hilda Harken. He was acting like he didn't know anything but had carefully manipulated the conversation so I'd admit I got spacesick.

Did this man know about me? Could that be the reason why he was so eager to get me onboard ZAFT that he provided the assistance Athrun needed to get me into the elite pilot corps and get me attached to Athrun's unit? Or did he have something else beyond that in mind for me?

Whatever the case, I was glad when we left Le Creuset's office. The man was scary. And when I looked back into the room, and saw him . . .

The same mask that obscured his eyes and that little enigmatic smile was still there.

Yeah, I was glad I wasn't going to see him again for a long time.

Though I preferred never.


"You sure you want me to do this and not a nurse?" Athrun said as we sat down in the empty room. "I can get a nurse right now. There's plenty of them."

"Just do it, Athrun. But check and make sure it is what it says it is."

Athrun blinked. "Cagalli, I highly doubt Commander Le Creuset would-"

"Just humor me, Athrun," I said.

"Uh, okay." Athrun looked at the syringe and sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm going to have to bring a nurse in here. I've got no idea how to check this out to make sure it is what it says it is."

"Oh, fine." I growled.

Athrun called a nurse then and she came and took the syringe away, hopefully not adding any additionalmodifications to the formula, whatever it was. We sat in silence for a little bit, before Athrun spoke again.

"You are okay, right?" Athrun asked. "You're acting extremely paranoid, Cagalli. I understand why, but no one in ZAFT is out to get you. I promise."

Athrun didn't know what I knew, that I had been modified even more than a Coordinator usually was. And he clearly didn't know what Hilda Harken had told me, that the PLANT's top officials had some inkling of what I really was and they were really desperate to either get their hands on me or have me eliminated.

"Look," I said. "After everything that's happened, I'm scared, okay? What if that concoction in the syringe has been modified to do more than just get rid of spacesickness, huh? What if it has little passengers inside it? What if it introduces cancer or some other time bomb that makes sure I'm dead before-"

"Cagalli." Athrun's eyes were wide in shock. "We'd never do anything like that to you. I swear."

"You wouldn't," I said. "But you can't say anything about the top officials in PLANT and ZAFT, can you?"

"Cagalli, please stop talking like this," Athrun said, his voice becoming edgy. "You are one of us now. We wouldn't do anything to modify you or kill you or anything like that."

He took a deep breath and exhaled. "You're scaring me, Cagalli. You weren't like this. Not before . . ."

"Before what, Athrun?"

"The Cagalli I remember wasn't afraid of anything," Athrun finally said.

So he was thinking back to when we were kids, best friends, huh? "The Cagalli back then didn't spent a couple of months in war with everyone trying to kill her, and didn't have Blue Cosmos gunning for her head," I said.

"I've spent the entire last year involved in this war in some way," Athrun replied, his eyes looking right into mine. "And also, it is Blue Cosmos that is out to kill you. Not us."

That look in his eyes, where he looked both concerned and scared for me, finally made me stop. There was something about the way Athrun's eyes would reveal this burst of honest emotion he was otherwise suppressing. And it kept making me realize that he did genuinely care about me and that would make my paranoia, my fear, go away. If only for a little while.

"I'm sorry," I finally said. "I just . . . it's just hard to . . ."

"Cagalli." Athrun reached out and held my hands. "You're going to be all right. I promised Tolle I would keep you safe. I promise you that you're going to be okay. I mean it."

I didn't like being reminded that he had killed my boyfriend again, but I knew he was trying to comfort me. He did genuinely care. He was my best friend for many years, after all. I spent those years looking out for Athrun. And now he was looking out for me in return, at least, I was sure that's how he was thinking about it.

"Thank you, Athrun," I said, but that's when he finally hugged me.

"A-Athrun?" I asked, as my heart began slamming against my chest, both from surprise and from the feelings that emerged the moment he hugged me.

Before I knew it, my arms were around Athrun as well, my hands on his back, my head on his shoulder.

"This . . . this is something I've wanted for the longest time," Athrun said. "We were best friends, Cagalli. You were always looking out for me in the Academy . . . always starting fights because of me and everything . . ."

He was leading up to a confession. I could tell. He was going to meander around for a while and he was finally going to confess to me, or, more likely, I would get sick of him dodging the question and force him to confess. That's how this kind of stuff worked.

But being reminded of what we had, being reminded of him kissing me in the park years ago, when we were both thirteen . . . it also reminded me, for some reason, of a girl I had met on the Archangel. A girl who I punched in the face.

Lacus Clyne.

Damn it.

It was actually surprising for me to realize how frustrated I was in remembering Athrun and Lacus Clyne were supposed to be married soon.

"Athrun," I finally said. "You are engaged to someone, aren't you?"

Athrun's body immediately tensed up. "Y-Yes. To Lacus Clyne."

"Don't say anything more about how you feel about me," I said. "Please. I'm not going to have you become someone who cheats on a girl."

"I-I'm sorry," Athrun said. "I was . . . I was getting ahead of myself, and . . ."

He wanted to let go of me. I still wanted to hold him. I felt . . . kind of serene, actually, in that instance, knowing that Athrun's feelings for me were . . . were . .

I really had somehow won him over in our days in the academy on the moon. All of those years basically being his protector from bullies and his motivational coach must have made an impression on him, so much of an impression that when puberty and all of the interesting things that come with that hit him . . .

No, it wasn't just that. It was making the impression on him and then vanishing from his life for so many years. All that did was make his feelings for me stronger. I had moved on, I found another boyfriend, but he . . . even though he was engaged to Lacus Clyne, it was an arranged marriage. Arranged marriages could result in love eventually, but still . . .

I had let go of him, but he had never let go of me. That meant that all of the insults I heaved his way, all of the anger and yelling and everyone else I had lobbed his way while fighting in the Strike . . . it must have affected him deeply on a personal level. And yet, now that I was here, he clearly still . . . still had . . .

I couldn't bring myself to think of the 'L' word.

"Athrun," I finally said. "We can still be best friends, okay? I'll be your best friend again. I'll be at your side."

"Cagalli?" Athrun asked, his body relaxing again.

There was no feelings of embarrassment or anything. I felt warm, happy, with him here. "f you want me to become more than your best friend you need to end the engagement with Lacus Clyne first. I won't let us become more than that unless you do so. And remember that Lacus is a good person, too. I met her once. She genuinely does care about you, Athrun. Don't just throw her away."

"O-Okay," Athrun said. "I won't."

"Thank you," I said.

That's when the nurse barged into the room. "The contents are exactly as they're supposed to be. . ."

We all stared at each other for a few seconds.

Immediately Athrun and I scrambled away from each other, Athrun's face a deep red and I'm sure my face was the same considering how hot it suddenly felt. The nurse was blushing too. "Oh my . . . was I interrupting something?"

"N-No, nothing," Athrun said. "Please give the 1st Lieutenant the shot, please."

"Um, sure." the nurse said, finally entering the room and closing the door behind her.

Athrun and I didn't say another word as she dabbed my arm with alcohol and a pad to prepare for the shot. I was so embarrassed it didn't even register that I was about to be injected with something I barely understood.

The nurse just shook her head at last. "Next time . . . just get a room, okay? Preferably not here? You're both supposed to be professional soldiers, after all."

Athrun's face turned so red I thought his head was going to explode or melt or both.

I'm sure I didn't look any better.


After launching in the shuttle and dealing with weightlessness, I realized that the cure they had injected me with was already working its magic. I didn't feel the least bit sick at all. Not even a sign of nausea or headaches. Being weightless felt completely natural and almost comfortable. Almost.

I was left alone with my thoughts, mostly. As I laid in one of the cots designed specifically for weightless situations, I took the time alone to think about everything that had happened, especially regarding Tolle's final words to me before Athrun shot him. It was finally registering to me, now that I had peace and quiet. About Dorothy Eliarez, about what both he and Miriallia had done.

No wonder Miriallia was the primary suspect. She had been involved. She just wasn't the murderer. She was the lookout while Tolle did it. And that meant she knew. She knew Dorothy Eliarez was a Blue Cosmos agent.

Both she and Tolle knew everything and I was left in the dark. No wonder they both started becoming distant, even strange, in regards to me. They had a shared secret I wasn't privy to.

It also explained the occasional anti-Coordinator talk from Elle. Lines like 'you're the only nice Coordinator' now had a whole lot more meaning than they did at the time. I never picked up on lines like that, I blamed Elle's talk on Flay, when I should have realized that it ran deeper than that. Elle was innocent, she didn't know any better, but she had been exposed to anti-Coordinator rhetoric, and she was blithely repeating it because she had no clue what it meant.

I wondered what Elle thought of me now. Did she think I was scum because I had left for ZAFT? That I left without saying goodbye?

Probably. My parents would have to be careful with her. Not just Elle, Stellar too. I had saddled my parents with both of them and they both potentially could become problematic.

And what was I doing instead? Fighting for a cause I didn't believe in and risking alienating my best friend every time I snapped at him.

Not to mention said best friend was also my commanding officer. I had to obey his orders.

I couldn't just snap at people the way I did on the Archangel. I snapped at everybody on that ship more than once. Insulted them, yelled at them, and said some extremely stupid things and got a lot of lectures over all of that. I probably drove my commanding officers nsane on the Archangel.

Everything had changed for me. And I wasn't sure what I was going to do.

That's when the door slid open and someone else floated into the room. I opened my eyes and saw her, and she promptly looked at me.

"God damn," Asta Joule growled. "You have to be sleeping here?"

"It's the women's sleeping area," I said. "So I'm gonna sleep. I'm not going to bother you, I'm already zipped up tight and everything."

"Your mere presence bothers me."

"I know." I just bit back the follow-up to that statement which would have only served to provoke a fight. "That's why I'm not going to say anything to you. Just pretend I'm not here."

"I can't do that," Asta replied, rather predictably.

"Look, I just want to get some sleep," I replied. I was getting nervous here. Was Asta trying to provoke a fight herself? Did she want to prove that she and I could not co-exist on the same unit? Either she wanted me transferred out or she was going to get herself transferred out. One way or another, she was going to get it done.

"So do I." Finally, though, Asta sighed. "I guess I have no choice."

She floated to a cot on the opposite side of the room and undressed. She looked extremely strong, with clear, visible muscles on her arms, legs, and her stomach, not like a girl who was born with a weak body at all.

"Athrun and the others told me you were born with a weak body," I finally said. "You don't look weak. You look the opposite."

"I thought you weren't going to talk to me," Asta growled as she twisted her way into her cot.

"I was paying you a compliment, that's all," I said.

"Hmmph." Asta zipped herself up. "Your compliment is noted."

She was still being prickly with me. I guess that her response was the best I could hope from her.

I tried to close my eyes and sleep, but somewhere between falling asleep I saw a small light pierce through my eyelids and my eyes shot open. I slowly looked at Asta, and she seemed to be looking at some kind of keychain. The light was just bright enough for me to see that the keychain had a face on it. The keychain was too far away for me to see clear details but considering I could make out silver and red, she had to be looking at the picture of her little brother.

She kissed the face on the keychain softly and pocketed it. The light went out in the next moment.

That just made me feel more guilty than ever, seeing that. They had been close. That much was certain.

Suddenly Asta spoke. "You saw that, didn't you?"

I knew better than to pretend I was asleep. "Yes, I did."

"I loved him, Cagalli. I loved him so much and you took him away from me."

Damn it. Did we really need this conversation now, in the middle of the night? "He gave me no choice. He was going to ram the Archangel, Asta. He was going to die either way and I took the route that involved him not killing everyone on that ship. It came at what I thought would be the cost of my own life, but Athrun saved me while I was plunging into the atmosphere."

"They were Naturals. They were using you up and spitting you out. What made them more important than anything else?"

"Everyone on that ship was just trying to survive, Asta. Including me. There were a lot of Orb civilians on that ship, most of them at some point volunteered to help out in various areas of the ship that were short-staffed. I helped out in the best way I could, which was flying the Strike."

"You're not answering my question. Why the Naturals?"

I was getting really angry at her obstinance and I could barely keep my voice even. "Because the Naturals are people too, you know? They have lives and children and jobs and everything else, just like Coordinators!"

"What makes them better people than us, then?"

"Naturals are no better or worse than we are! We're all human beings here! There's good Naturals and there's bad Naturals, just like there is with Coordinators! Whether they were genetically modified or not has nothing to do with how they are as people, Asta!"

Asta chuckled then. "You sound like Siegel Clyne. My mother was talking to me about Siegel the other day, about how he was saying Coordinators didn't evolve from Naturals. What are we if not an evolution, Cagalli?"

The sad thing is that I was in agreement with Siegel Clyne, even though it was filtered through Asta's obvious bias. "He's right, though. We didn't evolve. The Coordinator was originally created by Naturals. We're enhanced, not evolved. We're not even a true different species. Coordinators and Naturals can have children together, it's been documented. If we were a different species that would not be possible."

"You and your technicalities, just like Siegel Clyne. No wonder he's going to be losing his Chairmanship. Perhaps he's already lost it by this point."

I wondered if she was implying that I could be shunted out of this unit just like Siegel Clyne was being removed from his post. If so, that was an implied threat.

"The 'technicalities' reveal a blunt truth, Asta. Something that a lot of people on both sides are choosing to ignore. If you're going to ignore it too be my guest. But I'm just saying the technicalities are there for a reason."

"Hmmph." Asta twisted in her cot then, clearly trying to get comfortable. "Just keep telling yourself that."

"Asta, I know nothing I say will ever make you forgive me for what I did to your brother," I said, deciding to change the subject. This was the core of our differences and I was going to settle it once and for all. "But you don't need to keep provoking me. I know you loved your brother. And I'm sorry I had to kill him. But like I said multiple times, I was given no choice. He was going to die no matter what I did, Asta. And that was Yzak's own choice."

"He was my everything," Asta said. I could hear her voice shaking with emotion. She had been steely the whole conversation but the change in subject was already affecting her. "My reason to live. I promised him I would . . . I would live to see him become a man."

It was just like what other people had told me, and it was becoming clear as day that Asta had devoted herself to Yzak. "So you've been willing yourself to live, all this time."

"That's one way to look at it." Asta paused, clearly because she was wondering whether I should know her personal thoughts. "They say I have a weak body, but that's not entirely true. It's more like I have weak organs. My mother was only fifteen when I was born, Cagalli. When people realized she wasn't sterile she needed to have a child immediately. But when I was born, they told her I was lucky to be alive at all and that I would not live to see the age of ten. But my mother was not dissuaded. She was determined to show that she could contribute to the betterment of our society and gave birth to Yzak, who turned out perfect."

She finally made eye contact with me. "There's two organs that are as strong as they should be. My heart and my lungs. Every other organ is weak, especially my liver. It is hard for me to digest food. I've been on a strict organic diet my whole life, I can't have anything that is processed or artificial or even has the tiniest preservative because it could tax my liver too much and kill me."

So, ironically, the genetically-modified Coordinator could only have 'natural' food. It took everything I had to not point this out to Asta.

"I was seven when the symptoms began appearing," Asta said. "And my brother . . . he was not stupid. When he saw me coughing up blood he freaked out and cried. I still remember the day he found out. I held him in my arms and tried with everything I had to not cough all over him as he cried. And I did it. I managed to stop the coughing in that moment with just my will."

"So you promised him you would live," I said. "You promised him you would see him become a man. "

"I did." Asta was clearly crying by that point, I could not see her face clearly but her breaking voice told the whole story. "I promised him I would live. So I did everything I could to make my body as strong and healthy as possible. My heart being normal allowed me to exert myself so I could make myself strong. And the years kept going by. Yzak turned seven, nine, twelve, fifteen years old, and I was still here. I had managed to keep my promise. And then came Junius Seven and the war."

Asta was sobbing then, she sobbed for several seconds before she regained control of herself. "I-I joined the military to show solidarity with Y-Yzak, who was already . . . already in the Academy. I had good piloting scores, I passed well enough to earn a red suit but they confined me to a desk anyway. He graduated and . . . and . . ."

Suddenly her voice raised and nearly startled me out of my cot. "And then you took him from me!"

I half-expected her to tear herself out of her cot and try to strangle me, but she stayed. She did not move. She just cried.

"I'm sorry," I finally said, because I had to say something, even though it would not help.

"There's n-nothing left," Asta sobbed. "There's nothing. You completely obliterated him. I don't even have ash."

Hearing her cry just made me feel like scum. Here was the result of what I did in the war. There were a lot of other people just like her, crying over loved ones, because of what I did. Except I had the misfortune to meet one of the people who had loved someone I had killed.

"So you . . . you asked them to give you a machine," I said. "So you could avenge him."

"They needed pilots and my scores were . . . were g-good. So . . . so they were building a new GUNDAM using the Morgenroete designs as . . . as a template, but I asked to pilot it and have it modeled after my brother's machine. So . . . so that's what they did. Rau Le Creuset and my mother pulled the strings I needed to get the machine and have it built the way I wanted it. And then I set out to kill you."

"And now you can't," I said. "Because I'm on your side now."

"Don't remind me," Asta said bitterly.

Asta's tone of voice was the verbal equivalent of a nerve being rubbed raw. She was in a lot of pain and she was furious and she was lashing out at the outside world. I didn't think it was just over Yzak, though. I think being born with weak organs also had something to do with this anger. I think she wished she could trade places with Yzak, but I didn't dare to ask whether that was true.

Being reminded of her pain, though, also reminded me of Tassil. She had that town destroyed. Blown out of existence. And for what reason? To get to me?

"You did blow Tassil up," I said. "You ever given a thought to how the family members of those who died in Tassil feel too?"

"They're Naturals. I don't care."

"You should. They're people too."

"I said I don't care. Honestly, they deserve all of the pain they get. They created us and now seek to destroy us because they're afraid of us. If they live in agony and fear and suffer the most painful deaths imaginable, it's deserved, whether it's a five-year-old child or a eighty-year-old grandparent and everyone in-between. They're all guilty. All of them."

Her words were cruel and heartless and I honestly didn't want to talk to her again after hearing that. After all, Tolle suffering a painful, agonized death was still on my mind. I was sure Asta would be glad to hear that Tolle, my boyfriend, had died in such a way.

She was blinded by her hatred and she didn't much care that it did. People like her rarely do. And she was probably going to get worse with her anti-Natural talk because there was no outlet for her anger anymore. I was no longer her target. So it was all of the Naturals instead.

It was never going to end. This hopeless cycle of violence, hatred, and revenge.

"Why aren't you responding?" Asta asked. "Why? Do you really care for the Naturals, our enemies, so much?"

"Don't you at least care for the Oceanic Union and Africa?" I asked. I didn't want to talk to her anymore but I at least wanted to see if there was any compromise in her at all. "They are Naturals but they have sided with ZAFT."

"Not really, no," Asta said. "They're opportunists who threw their lot in with the force that has the superior military equipment. They're not buying into the PLANTs' ideals one bit. They're cowards who are siding with the people they think will win. Neither country has sent a single soldier to support us. They just let us dock in their ports and land in their airfields."

Guess that answered that question right then and there.

"I'm not going to debate this with you any further," I said. "I'm just going to close my eyes and go to sleep. I'm going to need it in the morning."

"People like you are becoming a dying breed, Cagalli Yamato," Asta said. "There's not going to be any room for the Naturals at the rate things are going . . . or for those who would tolerate their existences. You should accept-"

"I'll accept nothing." That did it. I had finally snapped. All I could think about were the people I loved, and the people on the Archangel, and Kira, my brother. All of whom were Naturals, and all of whom Asta was wishing death upon.

"I was raised by Natural parents," I said. "I have a brother, he's a Natural too. My friends are Naturals. I'd sooner be dead than have them be exterminated. Now shut up and let me sleep."

"You may get your wish soon enough," Asta growled. But she didn't say anything more.

I truly did feel alone in the room. There was truly no one who cared about me here, and Asta just reinforced that. I was just a soldier to them, a potentially disobedient one who disagreed with the fanatics. Oh, and if they had any clue who I really was, and Hilda Harken back in the Sahara Desert pretty much said they did . . .

I was in for a world of hurt. Especially if that Rau Le Creuset was involved. He, more than anyone else, seemed to be hiding behind a masquerade he presented to other people.

All I had was Athrun. I had given everything else up for Athrun.

Other than him I was alone.

And it was looking like I was going to stay that way.


Yeah . . . Cagalli's sure making friends, isn't she?

Next chapter's already finished. It will be up next week around this time.