Hello! thank you to anyone who reviewed - darkness_can_shine - favourited and followed! Sorry that it took so long to put this up, but it's long, so hopefully that makes up for the long waiting period.
I have uploaded the sequel to The Battle, to those of you who read my Ranger's Apprentice fiction. It's called The War. I plan on updating that soon too.
Anyway please read and review! ...
Sirius was the first to wake up the next morning - surprisingly. The only reason he had woken up was because he had just thought of a prank. And what a prank it was!
Quickly waking up the other three, he had explained his idea...
"So, let me get this straight, you want us to figure out a way to somehow charm every student in school to show their house colour?" Remus asked in disbelief.
"Don't forget the teachers!" Sirius trilled.
Remus stared at him in disbelief.
"And what if we give everyone beards?" James added, mischief in his eyes.
"Beards of house colour?" Sirius asked. James nodded his assent.
"That would be—"
"Hard." Remus interjected.
"Wicked." Sirius and James finished at the same time.
"Hard." Remus repeated.
They heard a snore from somewhere below them. Looking down, they saw Peter half under his bed, half out. He was sleeping peacefully, ignoring the battle waging above him.
"You said hard!" Sirius exclaimed in visible excitement.
"We heard, Sirius." James said tiredly.
"No! You don't understand. Remus said hard. Not impossible. That means the idea—"
"Still has chances!" James shouted in understanding.
"You two are impossible." Remus said, his lips quirking on the sides, into a smile.
"But you still love us." James said, grinning like a two year old.
"I have my doubts."
"Oh don't be like that Remmy!" Sirius yelled, throwing an arm around the smaller boy's shoulder.
"Does this mean you will help us?"
"Maybe."
"Pretty please?"
"Yes Remmy, Pretty please with loads of chocolate on top." Sirius added, knowing the boy's weakness for chocolate.
"..."
"For chocolate?"
Remus sighed. Why do I even try? Anybody could get him to do anything if they mentioned chocolate.
"Fine."
Remus was pulled into a bear hug. His breath was choked out of him and only when he began suffocating did they release him.
"Thank you Remus!" James said happily.
"Do I need to do all the work?" Remus asked suspiciously.
"Of course not!"
"All you have to do is find all the spells and make sure that we have learnt them well enough to execute them. And of course, make all the plans foolproof."
"We also need a group name."
"By that, do you mean I have to do all that and find a group name at the same time?"
"No."
"We'll all find group names we like and then vote on it."
"Why do I have a feeling I'll regret ever making friends with the two of you?"
"Silly Remmy. Of course you won't."
"Stop being so negative. We are awesome. And with you on our side, we'll be unstoppable!"
"Shut up and help me wake up Peter. I will not be late for breakfast again."
"Should we get ready or help you with Pete?"
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Help you with Peter it is."
Sirius snickered in his corner at James' submissive tone. Peter was finally woken up by Remus using his unique techniques. He was very imaginative in that area.
The reached the Great Hall half an hour earlier than the day before. The seats were not half-full and they got good ones in the middle. Not too close to the front and not too far from it. Too close to the door and you risked getting pneumonia, too close to the front and your eardrums broke.
There was bacon and eggs again. And Remus practically inhaled them in again. Sirius had a huge pile in front of him, everything served had made its way there. James had bacon and eggs on bread. A combination which he insisted was heaven in a bite. Peter was hogging as usual.
They had Herbology first period and after breakfast, they trudged drearily to Greenhouse 1. They were met there by a group of Hufflepuffs, all ready and eager to prove their mettle. The four were not amused.
Peter was still in awe of the other three, especially James who he followed around like a lost puppy. James didn't seem to mind, he found it great. Sirius and Remus found this display half-funny, half-exasperating.
While James was narrating one of his great adventures to Peter who was listening with rapt attention, Sirius and Remus were brainstorming spells, ideas and names for the prank and group respectively. Peter had joined them, through anonymous assent.
Professor Sprout met them at the doorway of the greenhouse with a beaming smile. She had a green hat covered with mold and, as of today, weeds. She was carrying fertiliser and flowers in her hand, and it was obvious that she had been gardening her precious plants.
The Bell rang signifying the beginning of class. The other students had also joined them and were slowly let into Greenhouse 1 by their Professor.
"Good morning class! We will be studying Mandrakes today."
She was rewarded with blank looks from almost everyone in the room for her enthusiasm.
She probably realised this because she said, "this was previously considered second-year material but The Ministry has made it first-year material from now. It is more advanced than previous work, but they believe you to be able to cope."
Oliver Abott from Hufflepuff raised his hand.
"Yes Mister?"
"Abott, Oliver Abott."
"Yes Mister Abott?"
"Why did they change the curriculum Professor?"
"I have no idea Abott. You better go ask the head in charge why they suddenly changed their minds about one measly plant so that it began matter for eleven year olds instead of twelve years!"
There was a sharp intake of breath. Pomona Sprout was known to raise her voice rarely. Even more surprising, was the fact that she had insulted plants.
Even the first years, who had known her for a day at the most, could see that she loved plants way too much for her own good. It was very weird hearing her speak badly of them, kind of like your parents swearing or trying to act cool by using slang that only kids are supposed to use.
"Sorry Professor," Oliver said ashamedly, "that was a very stupid question."
"Too right it was!" Sprout said with feeling. "Now sit down before you waste any more of my time."
"Mandrakes resemble humans in many ways. When unearthed, the root is seen to resemble a human baby. It also screams very loudly on being unearthed. Mandrake screams are fatal if they are adults, otherwise all they do is cause unconsciousness, or in other words, knock a person out."
"Have you ever been on the receiving end of one of the screams Professor?" Sirius asked innocently.
Sprout frowned, trying to figure out whether the question as genuine or some sort of trick to induce embarrassment. Eventually, feeling that the question was innocent enough, she said,
"Once or twice when I first began working with them. I was young and stupid and didn't bother with earmuffs and such to block out the noise."
Remus noticed a huge pile of blue and pink earmuffs towards the back of the greenhouse. "Are we going to be potting or planting mandrakes professor?" He asked pointing to the earmuffs.
"Not today. Next class. Good observation though Mister?"
"Lupin."
Professor Sprout nodded. "Mandrakes are also called Mandragora. As I mentioned before, they resemble humans in many ways. There have been cases when adolescent Mandrakes have developed acne. And they even throw parties sometimes. Just like human teenagers, they become moody and secretive as well."
"How do you tell when they are adults Professor?"
"When Mandrakes move into each other's pots, it is a sign of their mature ness. Once this occurs, the Mandrake is an adult."
"What are their uses? Do they even have uses Professor?"
"Of course they have uses Abott! Every plant has uses, unlike humans." She snapped. "When fully matured, Mandrakes can be used to make the Mandrake Restorative Draught which is used to revive petrified patients."
A girl from Gryffindor, who the four didn't know raised her hand. "Yes Miss Jenson?"
"I've heard that the Mandrake's scream is like a banshee's. Is this true Professor?"
"Well, two of them show remarkable similarity, but they are not exactly the same obviously. But yes, a Mandrake's scream is similar to a banshee's."
Jenson nodded and sat down, slightly pale.
"Dugbogs eat Mandrake roots. Often searchers come across the shoot part of a Mandrake, bug when unearthed, the root is bloody and torn apart. This is due to Dugbogs which have aversions to them."
The room was silent.
"Flesh-eating-Slugs also favour Mandrakes."
"Can Mandrakes be used in other potions? Save their Restorative draught?"
"Yes. Mandrakes are used in many potions, usually in antidotes. They are very powerful healing elements, similar to a bezoar stone."
"There are two types of Mandrake. The European and American. The European has been largely used for medicinal purposes. The American Mandrake is larger and poisonous."
The bell rang.
"Write a ten inch or more essay on Mandrakes, their uses and appearances by Friday. Class dismissed!"
XXXXXXX
"Great! Just the second day and in the first class we get an essay! A bloody essay!" James exclaimed.
"A bloody ten inch essay on that!" Sirius exploded.
"Well we could very well start it now." Remus said reasonably. They had a free period.
All three of them stopped an turned to look at the boy who had proposed such a preposterous idea. "No way!"
"Okay. Continue complaining."
Sirius blew a raspberry. "Yuck Sirius! I don't want your spit on me!"
Sirius blew another raspberry at Remus.
Remus yanked James in between himself and Sirius to act as a human barrier. Jaws was surprised. For such a skinny, lanky looking boy, Remus was really strong.
He probably had wiry strength or something like that, James thought reasonably, shrugging.
"My dad told me the way to the kitchen was to 'tickle the pear'. I have no idea what that means, but we are going to figure out." James said happily.
"Good! I'm hungry!"
"Sirius you had breakfast an hour ago."
"Remus, he's not the only one who's hungry."
"Peter..."
"I'm a growing boy Remus. Growing boys need food."
"Are you saying that I'm not growing? Or that I'm not a boy? Which one?"
"Neither." Sirius said, horror and terror written in his eyes at Remus' grim face.
"It's just that you ate so much more than us at breakfast Remus." James said, James to the rescue, "you practically ate four plates of bacon and eggs! Who can eat that much! Even we can't!"
"That's because I knew it would be a long time till lunch and I ate to keep my energy up. Something you didn't think to do."
"We'll do it from tomorrow Remus."
"Help us find the Kitchen. Please?"
"Alright Pete."
"How come you didn't agree when I asked?"
"Because I don't like you Sirius. You're irritating."
"Excuse you!" Sirius sniffed at the great affront.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Let's go find the Kitchen before drama queen escalates over here."
Sirius narrowed his eyes. Remus was going to pay for that. He flung his hands out dramatically and fell to his knees, clutching Remus' robes.
"Why don't you like me the way I like you? Why!" Sirius sobbed.
"Sirius. Sirius! What the hell are you doing! People are looking!" Remus screeched in a whisper.
"I don't care!" Sirius said dramatically, as befitted him. "You are my one true love and I don't understand why you can't reciprocate! I'm gorgeous!" Several girls sighed as if to prove his point.
Remus was staring at him through horror-filled eyes. James was cackling in the background with Peter laugh hysterically.
"Sirius I've known you for two days!"
"I know! I've never felt this way about anyone before. It must be true love!"
"Say what now?" Remus' voice cracked.
"True Love Remus. Your my first love. And hopefully my only." Sirius said through eyes glittering with mischief. "I promise go never leave you. I'll even catch you."
"Catch me? Why would you catch me Sirius?" Remus said in a weary tone, accepting his fate.
"Catch you when you fall."
"When I fall? Off the stairs? From the terrace? Balcony?"
"Of course not Remmy. Are you going to attempt suicide? Catch you when you fall in love with me."
"Excuse you!"
"Hey!"
"Why don't the both of you make this conversation a little more private?" One from the audience suggested.
"Yeah Remmy, Siri. Private. Alone. Just the two of you." James said laughing.
"Don't call me that!" Both of them snapped.
"Sirius," Remus said slowly an idea forming in his mind. "You didn't catch me."
"What?"
"When I fell in love with you. You didn't catch me."
There was a shocked silence. James, Sirius and Peter were staring at Remus, not accepting the fact that Remus was playing along. The crowd was stunned.
"Oh Remus!" Sirius finally said. "I love you!" And he hugged Remus before collapsing.
"Is he okay?" a girl from the audience cried out.
The four where laughing too hard to care. The girl pushed her way to the front and crouched beside Sirius who was hiccuping.
"He gave you a Love Draught didn't he sweetie? Your too gorgeous to like him." She said casting a derogatory glance at Remus.
The three abruptly stopped laughing, James and Peter coming to stand protectively around Remus.
"Excuse you. He's too handsome for me."
"Even if I'm not a growing boy." Remus called out.
Sirius sent him a grin.
"Are you serious? He looks so nerdy and goody too shoes-y while, you," she purred. "Are a rogue and a bad boy. And cool."
"How old do you think I am exactly?" Sirius asked frightened.
"Thirteen. Maybe fourteen. I am right. Right?"
James and Remus were laughing again. Peter stood clueless, having not understood what was going on.
"I'm eleven."
The entire crowd was laughing now. Jacqueline and Mary were at the front, wiping their eyes with their robes, tears streaming down their faces.
"Eleven." The girl repeated. And then began laughing. Fake-ly. "Ohmigod! Your such a joker! I like funny boys."
"I'm not joking." Sirius said, really scared now.
"All of us are in first year." Peter said.
"Yeah. We've been in Hogwarts all of two days." James added.
"I wasn't kidding when I said, I had known Sirius for only two days ya know." Remus said, with a predatory grin.
"Oh crap!" The girl said, her eyes widening in horror and disgust. "I thought you were at least in third year. Shit, shit, shit." She got to her feet and ran.
"You don't actually like each other, do you?" Another girl asked.
"Of course we do!" Sirius exclaimed, throwing an arm around Remus. Remus raised an eyebrow. "In fact," he said steering Remus, "I'm going to teach him a lesson right now."
The crowd oohed while Remus glared at Sirius with James and Peter following them as they moved away. When they where out of earshot, Remus threw off Sirius' arm.
"That was awesome, you guys!" James exclaimed.
"You both are like, the IT couple right now." Peter added.
"Tell you what," James said conspiratorially, "tomorrow I'm going to profess my undying love towards Remus. By accident of course. We'll stage it."
"Whoa whoa. Why me? Why not Sirius?"
"Because Sirius acts better. His acts of jealousy and outrage will be much better than yours."
"Point."
"First prank on Hogwarts?"
"Definitely! We'll get the entire school involved, somehow. And then Remus, you will break up with both of us, dramatically on Friday, when you see how disgusting the two us are with our gold and maroon skins and beards."
"The entire school will be heart broken." Sirius exclaimed grinning.
"And they never have to know, how we planned it out!" Remus said, smirking.
"Everybody in?"
"Yeah."
"Duh."
"Of course."
"Then let's go eat!"
"Just saying, we have class in half an hour." Remus the Responsible said, as they were searching for the 'pear'.
"Shut up Remmy." Sirius grumbled. "I'm hungry and I'm going to eat, even if it means bunking class."
"We are not bunking class." Remus glared.
"Aww look at that. The couple is fighting. Aren't they adorable?" Peter quipped.
"I know. It's all I can do to keep from bonking Sirius."
"You look green with jealousy, James."
That broke the tension, and the four boys were laughing again. The idea of using romance in a school-wide prank had never been done before. This would make the entire school sit up and take notice of them.
After an hour of looking, they still hadn't found the pear or the kitchen.
"We have to go back to class! I already wasted time with you. I could have finished that stupid Herbology essay!"
"You could have finished it in half an hour? Seriously Remus I'm impressed."
"Not all of are as dumb as you Sirius."
James opened his mouth to speak. "Or as dumb as you James."
"We are not dumb! Just because we are not interested in most academically inclined subjects, doesn't mean we haven no brain!" James said, impersonating a lawyer quite well.
"No it doesn't." Peter agreed affably.
"Thank you Pete." James said graciously.
They had come to a crowded corridor. "Look," Sirius began in an undertone. "Our long 'discussion' would have spread and the whole school should have come to know by now. So, when we go out, we are going to use that topic—"
"What topic?" James asked.
"How Remus calls you and Peter dumb because you don't like studies. I'm going to defend him. Draw attention to that fact. But don't make it too obvious!"
"That's—" Peter began.
"Wicked." James and Remus said together grinning roguishly.
"That's become a thing now, ya know." Sirius said.
"We realised."
There was a pause. Everybody used it to collect their thoughts.
"We are not dumb! Just because we don't spend all our time with our noses stuck into a book, like you!" James yelled.
"Don't talk to Remus that way!"
"I don't spend all my time reading! You probably got that impression, because, as I said, your dumb."
"That's what you think!" Peter sneered.
They had attracted a lot of rather wanted attention from the bystanders. As Sirius had deduced, the entire school had come to know of his declaration of love for Remus and Remus' own feelings tipping in his side.
They didn't realise how fake the entire thing was. How the entire thing was part of an enormous prank, that they were about to become a huge part of - willingly or unwilling.
"Ooh protect your boyfriend Black, why don't you? Not the person who befriended you the first!" James yelled, his eyes as well as Sirius' dancing with mischief.
"As I remember, Remus was the first to befriend me. You were rather cold when you heard my surname. But that's just how I recollect it." Sirius' eyes had lost their twinkle, and were somehow veiled and closed off.
"Well yeah, but that's because how your family is, mate." This had turned into something serious. James had realised this. And so had Remus who had moved from his palace near Peter to come stand next to Sirius.
"I just thought you might want to become like them. Blood-sucking, heartless vampires!"
"They aren't vampires." Sirius muttered.
"Yeah, we know that now." James said softly.
Remus pulled both boys to a corner to continue the conversation in private, away from prying eyes. Peter followed.
"Frankly Sirius," Remus began, "I was scared of you when I first heard your surname."
Sirius stared. "I thought you didn't care who my parents were?!" Sirius said, tears welling up in his eyes.
Even his so-called friends were scared of his parents who were in high positions in the Ministry and who were avid supporters of Voldemort and his plan. Trying to dispose of all muggle-borns was seen very favourable under their roof.
"We don't care who your parents are Sirius." James said.
"Yeah. I didn't become your friend because of your heritage or your money or your power. I became your friend because I saw a mischievous prankster, under all his shyness and airs." Remus said.
Peter hugged Sirius, conveying what he couldn't express in words. Sirius was taken aback. He smiled widely.
"Thanks guys. I really appreciate—"
The bell rang.
Remus shoved his bag into his hand and pushed him along. "Your appreciation can wait! We don't want to be late for Transfiguration. McGonagall will eat us alive!"
XXXXXXX
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