Chapter 12 That was no Lady


(Fanfir Note: if you get offended in any way by this chapter please skip to the bottom of the page.)


LUKE POV

Arriving the hanger bay he scanned for an available speeder to 'borrow' and spotted a perfect one. A dc0052 intergalactic speeder. It was sleek and shiny looking silver looking as if it was just polished recently. Its owner appeared to be some important senatorial individual, a snobby looking stuck up blonde female human wearing an red and purple expensive and elaborate type of dress, was about to enter their said vehicle. There was something definitely off about her. Something he couldn't explain, but she was getting away.

Can't have that now can we he thought sneaking swiftly over to the woman.

He would have ambushed her and caught her by surprise had it not been for the sudden yelling of the commandoes catching up to him, running not far behind. Weapons at the ready.

The lady, who he officially dubbed, Snobby lady, turned. A look of surprise and utter terror on her face when he neared her

Quickly Snobby started up the dc0052 speeder, closing the top hatch. If it did close he would have no hope of getting in there. He would be forced to find another victim but all nearby had fled or taken off.

The speeder rose of the ground as the hatch started to close with Snobby at the controls ready to take off.

Lasers fired at him from behind. The commandoes had long drawn their weapons. Shots missing him marginally by mere inches.

Force jumping up he dived into the speeder just in time as the hatch closed.

The speeder involuntarily took off from the senate hanger bay.

But he really should've figured out by now that he wasn't safe yet.

Safe from the commandoes and the senate guards but he was about to meet a worser fate as the seriously annoying snobby noblewoman burst into hysteria. Having a complete and utter stranger jump and invade her beloved speeder was unheard of to her and not to mention extremely rude.

She was after all a lady. Or was she?

The speeder swerved, turned, and dived dangerously. Both occupants of the speeder fighting for the controls.

It was a precarious situation.

To any onlookers it would seem that something was very very wrong with the speeder.

Which there was.

Do a barrel role.

And it did.

"Get the hell out of my beloved speeder you vile creature!" Snobby screeched in his face. Spittle flew from her mouth and unfortunately landed right splat on his face.

Why me?!

Disgusted he yelled, "Shut up lady and stop flapping your annoying mouth. Are you trying to get us both killed?!" He pushed her away from the controls but away was barely far enough as the speeder was a one seater. Both were smashed into a tight space fighting for control.

Elbows pressed against random switches and buttons were pressed forcing the speeder to jostle its contents around like jelly beans in a jar.

Neither were happy in the least.

"You koocho sleemo! How dare you talk like that to a lady you dumbass!" howled the said lady in a much more deeper voice, wrenching back control over the transport.

"Calm the down lady!" he yelled trying to subdue the gone rouge gone insane dame. But the crazy lady only attacked him in return, punching and kicking rather roughly for a woman. The speeder veered in all sorts of crazy directions taking them who knows where. Probably to no man's land.

He clawed in return at the lady. It didn't matter if she was a woman. She was vicious for an aristocrat and gave a good punch as well. Something was definitely wrong.

One of his fingers got snagged in Snobby's bright golden yellow goldilocks hair and he yanked to get free from the entrapment. The next thing he knew was that the golden yellow tresses were flying straight at him.

"Sith hell!" he cried out shocked beyond belief as he was assaulted by the yellow locks. Finally getting it off, he looked, and in his hand he held a headful of hair. Golden yellow hair.

By gods, the women's hair fell off he thought frantically and looked up at the lady.

Wait a sec.

That was no lady.

The said lady turned growling in fury at him. "Give me my fucking hair you sleemo!" It roared in a too deep voice to be a woman.

That was a man.

In his shock the now bald lady man stared at him with dark eyes, almost completely black, and snatched up the wig from his hand.

Knocked out of his reverie he panicked, accidentally kicking the switch that made the hatch of the dc0052 intergalactic speeder pop open a little bit.

Cool air rushed in assaulting the pair, the wig flew out the opening caught in the incoming gale while terrified he screeched, "You're no woman! Sithspit! You're a man!"

Danger was on the wind as it wildly whirled and whined.

And he was terrified.

"So what if I'm a man." The cross-dressed senatorial individual sneered, a vicious and dangerous smiling lighting up the bone pale face of the guy. Haunting shadows played across the creeper's countenance. Making him look damn shit scarier than one million Palpatine's put together.

Now that was scary.

Starting to freak out he let free a blood curdling cry from his lips and nearly fainted right there.

Never once in his life had he felt this horrified and frightened. Except for Bespin. At least he knew there that Darth Vader, his father, wouldn't hurt him too bad (maybe) but this guy just wore this creepy as sith malicious perverted grin that sported his face like a glued on Halloween mask that could never be removed.

The highly disturbing, freaky frightening man that could only be classified R rated movies lunged at him with the intent to kill.

Hands outstretched.

Out to choke him.

Out for blood.

His blood.

The scary man dived at him and on instinct he did the only thing he could to defend himself and rid this horrid threat from his presence.

When said perverted creeper man lunged at him he kicked his legs up catching the man in the stomach and sent the man flying head over heels over himself and straight out into open space of the Coruscant sky below.

Funnily enough as the spine chilling unearthly man in a dress flew out of the speeder and to his death 'it' let loose the Wilhelm scream.

That would have been comical had this been a less severe situation. He wheezed.

He panted breathless staring after the man as he became a small little speck and soon disappeared and then he regained control of the ship. As the hatch closed the whipping wind died down and stopped.

I'm just glad that was over he thought as he prayed that he wouldn't get nightmares later about that sinister spine chilling creeper and his maniac smile.

Those are just the sorts of things that one can't forget very easily.


(Fanfir Note: this is meant to be comical so don't get offended if you are a cross dresser cause not all cross dressers are perverted freaks, just the one in this story. I happen to know a cross dresser and they are a decent good person. Anyways if this story has offended you in any way you don't have to read it you may leave a note if it bothers you too much and I'll see what I can do about it. )- Fanfir Hydra.