So, it was almost schooltime in Paris and the legendary Adrien Agreste was on his way to the building with his backpack of school. He was a king of all steez. But Adrien was too bae to be bae. That is why he slurped his Kellogg's Froot Loop cereal through his nostrils. That is when the bad dude attacked and wanted souls to get on the double, and make it trouble.

"Dear goodness of my deeds!" cried Adrien as he whipped his cell phone out like a pro. "I am seeing badness be in my lovely Paris!"

"Yes, I am the bad guy!" said the bad guy.

"How could you do such a thing!" said Adrien. "I won't stand for this nonsense!"

"I am too powerful!"

"I'll eat your hideous evil like a sandwich of justice!"

This is when Plagg walked up in his new trousers and told Adrien's face to become a miracle. Plagg wore green trousers because he stole them from Krusha, the Crocodile Miraculous.

Then Plagg got shot by a bolt of lightning from the bad guy! He fell to the ground and looked like he was not getting back up any time soon. Plagg was very aching and not good in the health. "Adrien!" cried Plagg. "I need you to feed me cheese!"

Adrien screamed like an amazing pumpkin and grabbed some needle-nose pliers from his backpack. He ran up to the bad guy at the speed of light and cut all the wires on the bad dude's hair machine. He was using that hair machine to conduct lightning and stuff. That is what ended the badness. Adrien had saved the day and was better known than the eye of the tiger.

Until…

DA! DA! DAAAAA!

It was in Hawk Moth's lair and he was gonna get bad stuff to take over Paris! He had to akumatize his friend who had muscles. His name was Ryu and he did not like the low prices of conversation. He shoved his magic butterfly up Ryu's elephant nose, because Ryu is part elephant, and then the world blew up seven times in a row!

Adrien rarely heard this madness from his plate of steak and warned the world to invest in cattle ranches. The world was in dire need of saving and Adrien knew his economic brain was superb. Plagg walked over in his new Abe Lincoln outfit and yelled for more cheese. Adrien told him to wait because the bad guys were being so EVIL!

"Adrien," said the noble Plagg. "Four score and seven years ago, my booty was kicked. Now you have the most power to kick rear. And with great cheese, comes great responsibility."

"I know that! But I am the best there is to this world, homie!" cried Adrien as he screamed to his karaoke machine and ran around the room like a rabid warthog. Then he realized he was not a warthog; he was the best there was to save lives in Paris! He was…

CHAT NOIR!

Adrien transformed into the power of feline awesomeness, and that was his purpose as a legendary hero of hurricanes.

Adrien ran as fast as he could to the battle site where Ryu was using his threatening elephant powers to kill folks. Ryu was akumatized and not even Ken could save him due to the ugliness of his SFV redesign. Chun-Li used that helicopter thing and then everything blew up because all the dead flamingos from Kansas rose from their graves to wreak havoc on Paris. The flamingos brought machine guns that shot cute puppies holding grenades. These puppies were impervious to the blasts, but the mere shock factor was enough to cause Nino to break his dumb hat.

Nino wept for the loss of his gorgeous lid. Chat Noir ran up to him and said "Do not worry, lad, I will save your hat and save all of this gorgeous land."

"You are surprising," said Nino.

Chat Noir then bounced around like a crazy Jirachi on a caffeine kick. Nino screamed like a banana in a sweater and pulled out his ink-gun. This is because Nino was actually the Miraculous Inkling, but you won't find that out until season 3. Don't tell Hawk Daddy that I gave you this info.

Ryu stomped over holding a great lion above his head. He tossed the lion at a wall and the wall broke into itty-bitty fragments. He went into the place that he had broken into and stole all the jewels and diamonds from the front desk. He ate all that shiny stuff and launched a rocket into the moon. The moon blew up and its deadly chunks hit Nino and almost killed him. Nino was badly hurt and cried for his Nino powers to guide him to safety from Ryu's asteroids. Nino suddenly grew grand angel wings and flew away to his house in Hyrule. That is because according to the prophecy about Doritos, only Nino's can become the Hero of Time.

Lucky for Chat Noir, his left eyelash was quite optimal. He ran into Ryu with his car and Ryu dropped his prized possession. The prized possession was a really neat bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. After the drop, Ryu cried for eleven minutes while Chat Noir acted like a jerk and shook a magical kiwi. He then pulled out his Miraculous Chainsaw and prepared the Miraculous Cheese. Plagg ate this cheese and Chat Noir became even more powerful with his life. What better way to end Ryu than to use the Cataclysm, but with fireworks and salmon sushi?

The force of the strength and power and muscle totally killed the badness and Ryu reverted back to his niceness. Ryu was back to normal and was no longer akumatized. Chat Noir gave Ryu a high five and they flew off into the sunset because they were simply the best!

Also don't forget, Ryu is actually the Chicken Miraculous from Season 14. He has righteous shoes because of that one episode where Adrien and Marionette go out for dinner. OH SNAP! Did I just drop dat spoiler!?

And then Chat Noir saw all the flamingos stop being bad and stuff. They made themselves into flamingo nuggets and ate themselves. In the end, the true winner was McDonalds. Burger King did not win due to the fact that they cannot compete with money. But McDonalds was looking kind of hunky…

The hippos in the courtyard could agree quite as much as well. Gregory was his name and pain was his game. That's right, Nino had returned with his newfound appetite for food and was shoving all of the peanut butter into the bread. Nino's nose was the best, but not his ears. His ears had developed a new disease that was super prone to being akumatized. To save the day, Chat Noir cut off Nino's ears with a Christmas card and then bought him some new ones. Nino was very glad his Nino head nad Nino brain were saved. He smiled at Chat Noir like a friendly guy. His face was like "MMMMMMMMM!" and his cheeks were up above his forehead. His eyes were bulging like a maniacal creature and his nose flared with excitement. He laughed into the sky and received a very cool ringtone for his cell.

All that and more in Ladybug Season 2.

TO BE CONTINUED