Warning/Disclaimer: This chapter gets pretty adult, kiddies. It's a long one, and I think it's a beautiful one, but it gets pretty intense. This one is completely rated M for those reasons.
No Matter What Part 3
"Maya, come on! We're going to be late!" Josh called from the living room. Maya was going nowhere fast this evening. Her energy completely and utterly drained.
"I'm coming…" She groaned. "Sorryyyyy."
Josh couldn't help but smile seeing his girlfriend. "You are well worth the wait," He said completely taken aback by the beautiful woman standing in front of him.
Maya tugged at her turtleneck underneath the vest she was wearing. "I feel like nothing fits. Too much holiday food." She said with a slight shrug.
"Well, get ready for more, Amy and Topanga Matthews do not go easy on the holiday feasts."
Maya laughed, "Oh, I'm familiar."
Josh grabbed Maya's coat off the hook, holding it out for her to slip her arms in.
"Thank you," Maya smiled leaning onto her tip toes giving Josh a quick kiss.
"Mmm," Josh wrapped his arms around Maya's waist, deepening their kiss.
Maya laughed pulling back, "We're already late,"
"All the more reason to be later," Josh raised his eyebrow.
Maya bit her bottom lip. Even after three years of being together, Josh still made Maya's heart race. She wrapped her arms around Josh's neck leaning back in for a kiss.
Josh smiled into Maya's kiss as he cupped her face between his hands. He took a few steps, backing Maya up against the front door, picking her up slightly, Maya quickly wrapping her legs around Josh's torso. Josh felt an electric pull to Maya that there was no stopping, he couldn't keep his hands off of her.
Maya quickly shrugged her coat Josh just helped her put on right off, sliding her vest down just as swiftly. She immediately began reaching for Josh's coat.
Josh broke the kiss, his lips wanting to move down Maya's neck. He released a guttural groan at the turtleneck covering more of Maya than he wished at the moment. He immediately began reaching for the hem of Maya's shirt, quickly pulling it up and over her head. Josh was nearly completely distracted by how absolutely incredible Maya looked. She was perfect, the most perfect he had ever seen her. "God," He breathed as he collided their lips together again.
Maya's hands went for the waist of Josh's pants, untucking his shirt with ease then pulling his belt undone.
Their hands were moving with rapid pace, yet complete skill; this wasn't their first time squeezing a quick one in, they had this down to a science.
Maya quickly had Josh's pants undone and slacked, as Josh worked on Maya's legging, her back still pressed against the door.
Josh pulled back, Maya's chest heaving with every breath. "I love you," He said, his eyes holding onto Maya's.
Maya tilted her head slightly, "I love you too," she said with a slight smile.
"Mmm," Josh groaned as his hands went to Maya's face again, pulling her in for another kiss and his hips made their familiar path, connecting with Maya's with ease.
Maya practically gasped at the sensation, her hands lacing into Josh's hair, grabbing his brown locks tightly. "God," she breathed, tilting her head back. Every inch of her felt like it was on fire. Josh knew exactly the right moves, every single time, to send Maya right over the edge. This was no exception.
"Where have you guys been? Our mother is ready to kill you." Cory whispered as Josh and Maya walked into the living room.
Maya looked down blushing, her hand laced with Josh's.
A smile crept up the side of Josh's face as he thought about exactly where they had been. "It'll be fine, bro," he said patting Cory on the back. "Watch this," Josh told his older brother raising an eyebrow. "Ma!" He cheered getting his mother's attention.
"Josh! My boy!" Amy's face immediately lit up and she came walking toward her baby with open arms.
"Hello?!" Cory said pointing to himself.
Maya chuckled to herself, slipping away from Josh so he could embrace his mother.
"Merry Christmas, Maya," Topanga said coming to hug the blonde.
"Merry Christmas," Maya smiled.
"Riley will be here in the morning; they're doing Christmas Eve with Farkle's family."
Maya nodded. "You guys need any help?" She asked nodding toward the kitchen.
"Um… you know, sure," Topanga smiled as she wrapped her arm around Maya's waist.
"What are you guys working - -" Maya started, she quickly made a face, scrunching her nose up as she got a whiff of something.
Topanga looked at Maya confused, "Maya?"
Maya shook her head, "Sorry," She smiled. "Don't tell Amy," She added, her eyes wide.
"Mhmm," Topanga nodded, keeping a side eye on the young girl.
"Maya!"
Maya turned around, smiling at Amy Matthews who was now standing with her arms open for a hug from her now.
"Merry Christmas," Maya said hugging Amy, noticing how tight Josh's mother held her this time.
"Merry Christmas, sweetheart. How've you been?"
Maya nodded, "Good, really good. I was just asking Topanga if you two needed any help in here?"
"Oh," Amy waved. "We've got this, you just enjoy yourself,"
Topanga's jaw practically fell open. How was Maya getting off this easy with the mother-in-law? Topanga had been around Cory's entire life and she still felt the need to continually prove herself to Amy.
"Are you sure?" Maya asked flipping her head back toward Topanga in the kitchen. She quickly got another wiff of something that did not agree with her nose, and she tried to maintain her face so not to upset Amy.
Topanga raised an eyebrow. "Yeah… Maya you just go relax… we've got this covered."
Maya smiled, her eyebrows high. "Okay, let me know if I can help with anything, though,"
Both women nodded at the younger blonde who made her way back to Josh.
"Hey baby," Maya smiled looking up at Josh.
"Hey back at cha," Josh said leaning down kissing Maya softly. "They not need your help in the kitchen?" Josh asked nodding toward his mother and Topanga.
Maya shrugged, "Nope."
"Someone must have told them how great you are in the kitchen." Josh said with a smile.
Maya slapped Josh's arm playfully. "Hey! You don't know how good or bad I am in the kitchen!"
"Exactly…" Josh nodded slowly, placing a quick kiss on Maya's nose.
"They are just the sweetest," Amy gushed to Topanga as they finished up in the kitchen, minutes away from dinner.
Topanga scanned Maya and Josh up and down and nodded, "Uh-huh…"
Josh and Maya had made themselves comfortable on the large couch in the living room, Maya's head resting against Josh, her eyes closed. Josh was rubbing Maya's arm soothingly, quickly eliciting a yawn from his girlfriend.
"How am I so tired?" Maya practically whined.
"You'll perk up once you get some food in you," Josh assured her.
Maya's face scrunched up as her mind immediately registered the scent from earlier at the mention of food.
"Not hungry?" Josh asked, his eyebrows pulled together.
Maya pouted, "No… I am, just got a whiff of something that my nose did not like earlier…"
"Come on, everyone! Dinner!" Amy practically cheered from the kitchen.
Cory and Auggie were quick to the table, Cory giving Topanga a grateful kiss seeing all the hard work she and his mother had put in to tonight's meal.
Josh stood up from the couch, but Maya stayed put, her eyes still closed. "Come on," Josh laughed extending his hand.
Maya didn't have to open her eyes to know Josh's hand was there to help her up from the couch, and she blindly placed hers into his.
Topanga watched the two from her spot at the kitchen table, her eyes trained on Maya.
When dinner was over, Maya offered to help, at the very least she could clean the dishes for the ladies. She was leaning over the sink, scraping remains down the garbage disposal when her stomach decided to play gymnastics on her. Her eyes grew and she pressed the back of her hand against her closed mouth, hoping to keep the vomit she felt threatening to arise from escaping.
"Maya," Topanga whispered, placing her hand gently on Maya's back.
Maya swallowed hard, taking a deep breath.
"Are you okay?" Topanga asked subtly, taking the dish out of Maya's hand and beginning to rinse it off herself.
Maya nodded, her eyes shining with tears.
Topanga raised an eyebrow at the girl; she knew Maya better than that. "You know… when I was pregnant with Riley, right around this time of year, actually, every time I smelt something that had even been near cranberries I got sick." She laughed, being incredibly casual.
Maya smiled. "What about with Auggie?" she asked, carrying on the conversation; she loved talking with Topanga.
Topanga pushed her bottom lip out, shaking her head, "Nope. With Auggie I wasn't sick at all. I was incredibly tired though. I mean, couldn't get out of bed at 2pm tired."
Maya looked over at Topanga, only to find her no longer washing dishes, but instead, Topanga's eyes were locked on Maya's
"Maya…" Topanga said.
Maya's eyes were wide and her heart was racing.
"Are you pregnant?" She asked.
Maya dropped the dish that was in her hand, it shattering on the wooden floor.
All eyes were now on the two girls in the kitchen.
Josh quickly got up and went to Maya.
Maya's eyes were still locked on Topanga's, neither paying any attention to the shattered glass on the floor around them.
"Are you okay?" Josh asked concerned seeing the look on Maya's face and the broken dish on the floor.
Maya blinked, breaking the gaze she and Topanga were holding. "Yeah, no I'm fine," She said shaking her head. "Clumsy," She smiled up at Josh. Maya bent down to start gathering the large pieces on the floor.
"I'll get the broom," Josh said walking toward the closet where Topanga kept the cleaning supplies.
Maya's eyebrows were pulled together as she looked up at Topanga. "Sorry," she apologized for the broken dish.
"It's okay, Maya," Topanga nodded.
Tears were welling in Maya's eyes as she refocused her attention to the glass all around her.
Topanga squatted down, eye level with Maya. "Maya," she said lifting the girl's chin up, looking into her teary eyes. "It's gonna be okay."
Maya blinked and the tears she was trying to keep at bay were beginning to fall.
"Whoa, what's the matter?" Josh asked as he walked back over to the girls, immediately noticing Maya's tears.
Maya sniffed and wiped her face dry, "Nothing, just embarrassed…"
"Topanga," Josh said confused.
Maya's eyes were wide as she practically begged Topanga not to say anything.
"Your mom's a lot of pressure for us girls," Topanga said nodding toward the living room.
"Quite the matriarch," Josh nodded. "Babe, she loves you, you have nothing to worry about," Josh assured Maya.
Topanga threw her hands in the air flustered.
"She loves you too, Topanga," Josh teased his sister-in-law, ruffling her hair.
Topanga swatted at his hand, "Get out of here!"
Josh laughed, he loved Topanga, but he loved messing with Topanga even more.
"You too, Maya, I've got this. Go relax," Topanga said with a pointed look.
Maya swallowed hard and nodded without protest.
"Come with me," Josh smiled raising his eyebrow at his girlfriend, extending his hand.
Maya blushed and took Josh's hand as he helped her up.
Josh led the two of them to the oversized chair in the living room. Josh sat down first, then pulled Maya onto the chair with him, wrapping his arms around her as Maya curled into him.
Maya snuggled right into Josh's chest, her eyes almost immediately closing.
"I love you, Maya Hart." Josh whispered kissing the top of Maya's head.
"Love you too, Joshua Matthews." Maya smiled, her eyes still closed.
It didn't take long for Maya to fall asleep, the beating of Josh's heart, the steady rhythm of his breathing was one of the most soothing things, and Maya always found comfort being wrapped in Josh's arms.
"You guys can sleep in Riley's room," Topanga smiled, she herself wrapped in her husband's arms as they sat on the couch together.
"Okay," Josh whispered, not wanting to wake his sleeping girlfriend, he rubbed her hair gently, his eyes completely drawn to her even as she slept
"Good night, my boy," Amy said walking over to Josh, kissing his head gently.
"I'm right here!" Cory said throwing his hands in the air.
Amy swatted Cory's comment away as she rejoined him and Topanga on the couch.
Josh carefully stood up, holding Maya in his arms with ease.
"Careful, Josh," Topanga warned, nervous of him carrying the sleeping girl.
Josh pulled his eyebrows together, "Have you seen this girl?" He asked. "I could - -" he pretended to toss Maya in the air.
"Josh!" Topanga gasped.
Josh laughed, as Maya stirred slightly in his arms. "Goodnight, family."
"Goodnight," Auggie laughed.
"Night," Cory said with a wave from the couch.
"Merry Christmas, sleepy head,"
Maya blinked slowly, her eyes not ready to open just yet.
"There better not have been any funny business in my bed last night,"
"Riley!" Maya smiled sitting up quickly, excited to see her best friend.
Riley threw her arms around Maya's neck, pulling her into a hug.
"Merry Christmas, Riles," Maya laughed. "What time is it?" She asked confused, where was Josh? When did Riley and Farkle get there?
"Almost 11."
"Ugh," Maya groaned and plopped back down on the bed.
"No, no. Everyone is already up and going; we're all waiting on you."
"Too tired. Christmas without me," Maya waved, her face halfway into the pillow.
Riley rolled her eyes playfully. Maya was never a morning person, but she was always a Christmas person. "Come on," She said slapping Maya's butt through the covers.
"Mmm," Maya groaned as she sat up. "Fine. Only because it's Christmas." She added pointing a finger directly at Riley.
Riley playfully bit at Maya's finger.
Maya's nose twitched, scents from the kitchen making their way into the bedroom now.
"The boys have already eaten -heathens." Riley said shaking her head. "So, come on, Christmas breakfast is waiting."
Maya stood up, trudging out of the bedroom with Riley, making their way to the kitchen and living room with the rest of the family.
"Well look who finally decided to join us," Josh teased, standing up and walking toward his girlfriend, a piece of bacon in his hand. "Merry Christmas," He smiled kissing Maya gently.
"Merry Christmas," Maya smiled, trying to ignore the overwhelming scent of bacon lingering around her boyfriend.
"Breakfast, Maya?" Topanga asked from the kitchen.
"I'm gonna hold off…" Maya decided, her stomach feeling uneasy.
"Mhmm," Topanga nodded, turning back toward the stovetop.
"Topanga, is there more - -" Josh was asking as Topanga turned around holding a plate stacked with bacon. "God I love you!"
Topanga smiled, laughing at her brother-in-law.
Josh walked to the kitchen table, Maya's hand still clasped in his. He sat on the bench, facing outward, pulling Maya close next to him. "Bacon?" He asked holding a piece in front of Maya's face.
Maya scrunched her nose, shaking her head quickly. "No thanks."
Josh took a bite out of the piece of bacon he was holding. "Topanga made eggs and pancakes too."
Maya decided on a plain pancake, her stomach not immediately churning at the thought.
Maya's head was in a daze all day, she couldn't shake the overwhelming exhaustion that never left her after Riley's brutal awakening that morning.
She sat curled up against Josh as she watched everyone open their presents.
Josh pulled Maya closer to him, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "Thanks for coming," he whispered.
Maya smiled glancing up at her boyfriend. "I wouldn't miss this,"
"Maya, I just talked to your mom," Topanga said grabbing the young couple's attention.
Maya glanced up at Topanga confused. She and Josh had spent last weekend upstate with Shawn and Caty, trying to balance the holidays between the two families. Shawn knew how important the Matthews Christmas was, and they both knew how important Josh was to Maya. They put up no argument to an early Christmas with the couple.
"She said she tried to call you this morning,"
Maya immediately felt bad; she must have slept through her mother's phone call.
Topanga smiled. "She said to tell you Merry Christmas. If you get a chance, give her a call."
"Sure, yeah, of course," Maya nodded running her hand through her hair. "Thank you," She smiled up at Topanga.
"And Shawn?" Cory piped up from his seat across the living room.
"Didn't say a word," Topanga shook her head with a smirk.
"Caty," Cory huffed under his breath.
Maya shot Cory a quick look.
Cory responded immediately with a toothy grin to the feisty blonde.
"Mmhmm," Maya nodded, narrowing an eye, hitching an eyebrow in Cory's direction.
"Is it time to eat again, yet?" Auggie asked.
"Oh, I'm with him!" Josh agreed, pointing at his nephew.
"You guys just ate," Topanga said shocked.
"Ah," Josh pulled his arm out from around Maya and stood up, "That was like two whole hours ago, Topanga," He smiled. "Auggie, kitchen."
Topanga threw her hands up, surrendering to the boys and their insatiable appetites. "Help yourselves," She waved as she sat on the armrest of the chair Cory was occupying. He wrapped his arm around her waist, getting Topanga's attention.
"I love you," Cory said holding onto Topanga's eyes with his. "I love this. Thank you for everything, for this amazing life."
Maya couldn't help but watch her second parents and the way their love for each other, even after all these years, practically radiated off of each of them.
Riley sat down on the couch next to Maya, as Farkle joined the boys in the kitchen. She curled into her best friend, laying her head on Maya's shoulder. "I love you," She smiled.
Maya laid her head on top of Riley's, she sighed contently. "I love you too,"
"Thank you for being a part of my life, Maya,"
"Always." Maya said, closing her eyes gently. She felt complete at this house, surrounded by these people. There was very little else she could have asked for.
The rest of the day was full of the boys eating everything Amy and Topanga fixed, the girls curled up on the couch and Christmas music playing in the background.
Before Maya even realized it, evening had fully set in. She was barely keeping herself awake, but she didn't want to miss a single moment of this day; everything was perfect.
"Hey you," Josh whispered, a smile pulled to one side of his mouth, as he gently stroked Maya's blonde hair. "You ready to go to bed?"
Maya looked around the seemingly darker living room confused, the lights from the Christmas tree supplying the only light. "Where is everyone?"
"They all just went to bed,"
Maya pouted slightly, "I fell asleep?"
Josh nodded, "You did. You're officially the oldest one at these parties now. You're lucky I didn't string lights all over you," He said as a smile stretched across his face thinking about his dad. "Come on," He held his hand out to help Maya off the couch.
Maya stood up and glanced at the lights coming from the tree. She exhaled, "Can we… can we just sit by the tree for a little bit?" She asked looking up at Josh.
Josh smiled gently down at Maya and nodded. "Sure,"
The two walked hand in hand to the bay window next to the large Christmas tree, Josh taking a seat first, pulling Maya close to him as he wrapped his arms around her.
Maya curled her knees onto the seat with her, snuggling her head against Josh's strong chest, her eyes set on the dim lights in front of them. "I never want this to be over,"
Josh kissed the top of Maya's head, his hand running soothingly up and down the side of her body. "Me either," He whispered.
Maya looked up at Josh, her eyes practically twinkling from the lights on the tree. "Promise me nothing will change…"
"This," Josh paused, "will never change. No matter what,"
Maya closed her eyes at his words.
"I love you, Maya," Josh whispered, his lips lingering on the top of her head in a soft, sweet kiss.
Maya completely relaxed under his touch, "I love you, Josh,"
Maya woke up early the next morning in a cold sweat. She didn't want to wake anyone up, so she quietly made her way to the living room. Maya sat in the same spot she and Josh sat last night before they made finally went to bed, when a sudden wave of nausea overwhelmed her. Maya took a deep breath attempting to calm her her stomach down. Noticing that wasn't working, Maya cracked open the window behind her slightly, hoping some cool air would help.
"Good morning,"
Maya gasped, her hand going to her chest, not realizing anyone else was up yet. She turned toward the voice, finally seeing Topanga in the kitchen; she was always in the kitchen. "Good morning," Maya smiled.
Topanga walked over to the young girl smiling. "How ya doing?" She asked patting Maya's leg as she joined her in the bay window.
Maya closed her eyes momentarily and nodded, a small smile finding its way onto her lips.
"Hey, I have a present for you!" Topanga smiled raising a finger in the air.
Maya gasped, "Present day was yesterday, Topanga!" She replied with a grin on her face.
Topanga raised her eyebrow and walked back to the kitchen.
Maya's brows were pulled together in confusion.
Topanga walked back to the bay window and placed a small box in Maya's lap.
Maya's face fell when she realized what Topanga had just given her. She looked up at her best friend's mother, shocked. It was a pregnancy test.
"You don't have to take it right now - -you don't have to take it at all." Topanga said shaking her head. "I just wanted you to have it… in case you did want to take one."
Maya didn't say anything, her eyes wide and holding onto Topanga's.
Topanga lowered her brows, looking at the blonde. "Are you late, Maya?"
Maya's eyes began darting around as she tried to process what Topanga was asking her. She couldn't remember.
Topanga raised her eyebrow at Maya's lack of response.
"I… I… I can't be pregnant." that was the first time Maya had said the word out loud, and it sounded foreign on her lips.
Topanga shrugged gently, "I mean… you probably, technically can be pregnant, Maya. I… I assume… you and Josh have lived together for several years..."
Maya shut her eyes at Topanga's comment. Tears filled her eyes as Maya tried to keep her emotions in check right now. What was happening? Her jaw slacked as if she were going to say something, but nothing was coming.
"When was your last period?" Topanga was trying to help ease Maya's clearly frantic mind.
Maya blinked quickly, blinking back her tears and trying to focus on dates. "Um…" she said wiping the stray tears that managed to slip from her eyes. "Halloween?" She whispered, her voice sounding so fragile Maya barely recognized it herself.
Topanga exhaled. "Okay… Maya, it's almost January."
"Oh my God," Maya breathed, her head immediately falling into her hands, her body shaking both with tears, and pure fear wracking every inch of her. "Topanga," She said finally looking up.
Topanga could see how scared Maya was, it was written over every inch of her face. "It's okay, Maya," she nodded.
Maya's eyes were the size of saucers, her jaw ajar as she stared at this woman who helped raise her. "Is it?" she asked shakily.
Topanga pulled Maya close to her, holding her tightly. "Yes, sweetie. Look at me," She said holding Maya's face between her hands.
Maya slowly looked up at Topanga.
Topanga smiled softly. "It's okay. You're almost 28 years old, and Josh is 30. You guys have been together for years. This is okay." She nodded trying to help ease Maya's mind. "You are okay."
"But…" Maya still couldn't wrap her mind around this.
"Maya?" Josh asked walking down the few steps that lead to the back of the Matthews apartment.
Maya quickly turned her head toward her boyfriend, sniffling, trying to pull herself together.
"What's wrong?" He asked confused.
Topanga smoothly slid the pregnancy test box out of Maya's lap, wrapping it up in her long sweater.
Maya smiled and stood up, walking toward him. "Nothing. I just couldn't sleep," She said with a shrug. "Topanga was up," She said turning back to her second mother, offering her a small smile.
Josh yawned, running his hand through his messy hair. "Okay, well I'm gonna take a shower before everyone else gets up and the forty people in this house fight over the two bathrooms."
Maya smiled up at him, placing a quick kiss on his cheek. "Okay,"
Josh wrapped his arms around Maya, pulling her around to where she was facing him. "Love you," he whispered. Josh couldn't take his eyes off Maya, her hands hidden by the long sleeves hanging down her arms, her hair tousled from sleep, her cheeks slightly flushed; she was absolutely gorgeous.
"Love you," Maya whispered right back with a heartfelt smile spreading across her face.
"Mmm, you sure you don't need a shower too?" Josh asked, subtly rubbing his hips against Maya's.
Maya felt her stomach drop, the exact way it did every time Josh touched her. She bit her lip looking up at him.
Josh cupped her face in his hands, bringing her lips to his, immediately deepening their kiss.
Maya smiled, pulling back, "Stop," she laughed. "Go take a shower," She said shoving his bare chest slightly.
"Take a shower with me," Josh tried again.
Maya laughed, "Stop," She repeated, nodding slightly to Topanga behind them.
Josh scrunched his nose, "Oh she doesn't care, right, Topanga?"
Topanga was purposefully distracting herself so not to intrude on the couple, all the while hearing every word they were saying. She looked up, an eyebrow raised.
"Oh my God!" Maya laughed, slapping Josh's chest. "Get out of here,"
Josh bit down on his bottom lip. He bent down, his mouth just a hair away from Maya's ear, "Later," he whispered.
With a single word, Josh managed to take the breath right out of Maya.
Josh turned with a sly grin on his face, leaving Maya blushing.
Maya turned back to Topanga, her eyes wide, "God," she breathed with a slight breath. "He's a mess." She said joining Topanga at the bay window again. Maya looked her in the eyes, "He can't be someone's father," She whispered.
Topanga pressed her lips together holding back her laughter. She patted Maya's leg. "You need to find out," she said honestly, pulling the pregnancy test back out.
Maya tilted her head, "Do you just keep those around?" She asked confused.
Topanga laughed shaking her head, "No. I went and go it, Maya. I had a feeling…"
Maya nodded, "Yeah…"
Topanga raised her eyebrows at Maya, glancing down at the box in her hands.
Maya took a deep breath and laced her fingers over the small box. As if on cue, both women heard the shower starting. Maya looked up at Topanga hopeful, knowing the only other bathroom was in her and Cory's room.
Topanga narrowed her eyes and shook her head; Maya wasn't getting off the hook that easily. "Come with me," she said curling her finger toward the blonde.
Maya pouted, shuffling her feet as Topanga stood and began walking toward the stairs.
"He sleeps like the dead," Topanga said opening the door to her bedroom, Cory snoring loudly.
Maya's heart skipped a beat stepping into the darkened bedroom. The last time she was in here was Thanksgiving several years ago when Josh pulled her in there. Her cheeks blushed as she remembered the look on Cory's face as Josh led her out of his bedroom.
Topanga led Maya to the master bathroom, "Have you… you know how this works?"
Maya nodded silently.
"Okay, I'll be right out here." Topanga said stepping out of the bathroom.
"Wait - -" Maya stopped her. "Would you… I mean… could you…" She didn't know how to ask Topanga to stay with her.
Luckily, Topanga knew Maya well enough to know what she was asking. She stepped back into the bathroom, pulling the door behind her.
"Thank you," Maya breathed.
Topanga nodded and pulled Maya's hair down around her shoulder soothingly. "It's going to be okay, Maya," She reminded her.
Maya bit her lip nervously and nodded. She looked up at Topanga one more time, received an encouraging nod, and stepped into the small room with the toilet.
Topanga tried to keep herself calm as she anxiously wrung her hands waiting on Maya. Everything was going to be okay, but this was huge. It felt like an hour before Maya finally stepped out of the toilet room and back into the bathroom.
Maya's hands were shaking as she gently placed the test on the counter, avoiding Topanga's gaze. "It says to wait two minutes," She whispered.
Topanga nodded, taking a step toward Maya, her hand going to the younger girl's back.
Maya instinctively turned into Topanga, wrapping her arms around her.
Topanga exhaled, holding Maya close to her. "It's okay, Maya," She repeated soothingly as she rubbed the blonde's back. She could feel Maya's chin quivering and Topanga knew she was crying. Topanga didn't say anything else, she just held Maya for the next several minutes.
Maya's stomach was in knots. Part of her wanted to watch the test as the time passed, and part of her wanted to stay tucked into Topanga's chest forever.
Topanga wasn't going to rush this, Maya would look when she was ready. She knew Maya wouldn't be able to hold out for too long; it's these moments of unknown that are the hardest.
"Has it been two minutes yet?" Maya finally asked, her voice muffled as she was still buried in Topanga's embrace.
"It's probably been ten minutes, Maya,"
"Ugh," Maya pulled back, her brows knitted together. Her whole body was fidgeting with nerves. "Will you do it?" She asked Topanga, her bottom lip clenched tightly between her teeth.
"Are you sure?" Topanga asked.
Maya nodded, "Please,"
"Okay," Topanga said and stepped past Maya, who had her back to the counter.
Maya shut her eyes tightly, waiting to hear something. It felt like hours before she felt Topanga's hand on her back. Maya opened her eyes at the contact.
"It's positive," Topanga whispered, holding the test in front of Maya.
Maya immediately began crying, her whole body shaking. One hand went straight to her mouth, the other grabbing the test Topanga was holding, bringing it closer to her. Pregnant. "Oh my God," she breathed shakily through her tears. She didn't even feel Topanga's hand on her back, as she crumbled onto the floor.
"Oh, Maya," Topanga's heart was hurting for Maya. She knew it was going to be okay, Maya just couldn't see that right now. Topanga joined Maya on the bathroom floor, wrapping her arms around her.
Maya suddenly looked up at Topanga, horror written all over her face, "Amy is going to hate me." She barely got out.
Topanga couldn't help but laugh, "That's not true,"
Maya wasn't joking, she continued to look at Topanga full of concern.
"Listen," Topanga said patting Maya's knee. "You're, what? Seven years old than Cory and I were when we had Riley. And she turned out just fine!"
Maya raised an eyebrow, never missing an opportunity to poke at her best friend.
"Okay, she turned out alive -which is all you can ask for," Topanga laughed.
Maya laughed slightly through her tears. "You're not… going to tell anyone are you?" She asked looking up at Topanga.
"No, Maya, of course not." Topanga shook her head adimately. "This is all you… I just… I just had a feeling, ya know? And I also had a feeling that you didn't know. And, if anyone needs to know, it's you,"
"Yeah," Maya breathed looking down. "How did you know?" She asked.
Topanga shrugged, "Heightened sense of smell, you were sleeping every moment you sat down somewhere, Josh can't keep his hands off of you,"
Maya's eyebrows knitted together and she tiled her head.
"Hormones," Topanga shrugged.
"Huh…" Maya breathed.
The bathroom door suddenly opened, Cory standing in the doorway, "Huh…" He breathed seeing the two women sitting on the floor. Without a word or a questioning look, he turned back around and exited his bathroom, heading for the guest bath.
"My brotha!" Josh smiled walking out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, still dripping from his shower.
Cory's face scrunched as he saw his half-naked brother. "Put some clothes on!" he said flustered at his brother's somehow still picturesq looks.
Josh laughed, shaking his head as he walked back to the spare room.
Topanga took a breath, "You ready for a new day?" She asked looking at Maya.
"This already feels like the longest day of my life," Maya said tilting her head back against the bathroom wall.
"Aww, honey, you have no idea." Topanga smiled placing her hand on Maya's knee.
Maya quickly looked at Topanga, her eyes pulled together, "Not helping." She said with a shake of her head.
Topanga laughed and stood up, she extended her hand toward Maya, helping the young girl up from the floor. "Come on," She said patting Maya's back.
"Where'd you go?" Josh asked as Maya walked into their room pulling a shirt on over his head.
"Oh, just helping Topanga with something," Maya said tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
"You about ready to head home?"
"Mmhmm," Maya nodded.
Josh walked over to Maya, wrapping his arms around her, "It's been too long since I've had you to myself," he said leaning down kissing Maya gently.
Maya almost immediately pulled back, her stomach rolling.
Josh's face was twisted with confusion.
Maya's hand went to her mouth, and she shook her head quickly.
"Maya?"
She quickly brushed past Josh, heading straight for the bathroom. Maya nearly collided into Cory as he walked out of the spare bathroom.
"Maya?" He asked confused, turning around following Maya's sudden movement.
Josh joined Cory in the hallway, both brothers looked at each other in confusion.
"Maya?" Josh said concerned as he suddenly heard his girlfriend throwing up.
Cory nodded to himself and patted Josh's back heading back to his bedroom.
"Maya?" Josh repeated.
"So, Maya's pregnant?" Cory asked his wife as he walked into his bedroom.
"What?" Topanga asked shocked.
"She's throwing up in the bathroom," Cory said motioning behind him.
Topanga frowned, "Poor thing,"
"Who all knows?"
Topanga shook her head, "No one. Barely even Maya,"
Cory nodded. "Okay,"
"Cory, you can't say anything."
Cory nodded. "Wait. Do we know before Riley?"
Topanga rubbed her temple, "We know before Josh." she sighed.
"How?!"
Topanga shrugged, shaking her head slowly. "You can't say anything, Cory."
Josh spent the rest of the week cautiously looking after Maya. It was New Year's Eve, and they usually spent the night out with friends, but yet again, Maya woke up throwing up this morning, and Josh was getting concerned.
"We should probably get you to a Doctor, babe," Josh said rubbing Maya's back soothingly.
Maya shook her head, "I'm fine," She sighed sitting back on her haunches.
"I don't think you're fine, Maya. You've been throwing up every day for the past three or four days."
Maya sighed. This had basically come out of nowhere. It was as if once she realized she was pregnant, her body decided to remind her every morning. "I actually feel okay," she said standing up.
Josh looked at his girlfriend, concern still written across his face. "Hey," he said softly, reaching for Maya's hand.
Maya looked up at Josh, her eyes wide and innocent.
Josh almost immediately got lost in Maya's blue eyes; his whole world staring right back at him.
Maya was practically biting her tongue to keep from telling Josh everything, but now wasn't the time.
"One more day," Josh said. "I'm taking you to the doctor if this is still happening tomorrow."
Maya pursed her lips together and nodded silently. One more day.
"Wake me up!" Maya whined as she yawned, laying her head on Josh's shoulder.
"No, Maya," Josh laughed. She had been struggling to stay awake all evening, and Josh wasn't going to wake her up an hour after she finally fell asleep.
Maya looked up at her boyfriend and stuck out her bottom lip, batting her eyes like a professional.
"Oh my God," Josh shook his head, a smile creeping onto his lips.
"Wake me up?" She repeated.
Josh nodded, "I'll wake you up," he smiled and kissed Maya's forehead.
Maya closed her eyes, a smile planted on her lips. "Love you,"
"Love you," Josh repeated.
It was 11:57, and Josh glanced down at his peacefully sleeping girlfriend. He truly didn't want to wake her, but he knew Maya would be more difficult later on if he didn't wake her up. "Maya," He whispered, brushing Maya's blonde locks gently. "Maya," he repeated. "It's almost next year…"
Maya breathed deeply, her eyes slowly fluttering open.
"Hi babe," Josh smiled down at Maya.
Maya smiled sweetly back up at him, "Hi," she whispered.
"It's almost next year," Josh repeated.
"Thanks for waking me,"
"Oh, that was not how I was starting the new year."
Maya laughed as she sat up, pulling her knees underneath her. She glanced at the TV; Josh had it muted. "One more minute," She smiled up at her boyfriend.
Josh wrapped his arm around Maya, pulling her closer to him. "Thank you," He smiled down at her.
Maya tilted her head slightly, confused at what Josh was thanking her for.
"It's been another great year. I wouldn't want to do any of this with anyone else."
Maya's cheeks flushed. "Me either," She smiled.
Josh kissed the top of Maya's head and un-muted the TV so they could hear the countdown.
"Hey, Josh," Maya said after a few beats, pulling his attention away from the countdown on the television and back to her.
Josh looked down at Maya once again.
"I, um… I…"
Josh's brows furrowed as Maya unusually stumbled over her words.
10
9
Maya's eyes were locked on Josh's.
8
7
"Maya?" Josh asked confused.
6
5
Maya took a deep breath. "Josh,"
4
3
"I…" she started again, biting down on her bottom lip.
2
1
"I'm pregnant…" She breathed.
Happy New Year! The voices on the TV screamed
Josh felt a deafening silence wash over him and it was as if nothing else existed but him and Maya.
Tears filled Maya's eyes as Josh's silence soared fear throughout her body.
"What?" Josh finally spoke, his eyes wide.
Maya looked down, shaking her head slightly.
"Pregnant?" Josh asked, his voice cracking.
Maya couldn't look at him, she just nodded.
"Maya…" Josh breathed.
Maya shut her eyes.
"Maya," Josh repeated, his hand reaching for her's, squeezing it tightly.
Maya finally looked up at her boyfriend, afraid of the look she would see in his eyes.
As Josh's eyes met Maya's, his face instantly softened and a smile began to spread across his lips. "You're pregnant?"
A few tears slipped down Maya's cheeks as she nodded once again.
Josh cupped Maya's face in his hands, bringing her lips to his, kissing her softly, yet full of passion.
Maya could feel herself break down in relief as Josh finally showed her how he was feeling.
"God," Josh breathed wrapping his arms around her. "How do you… how far… when did you…? Is that why you've been throwing up all week?!" He could barely finish a sentence, his mind completely racing.
Maya nodded. "I took a test the day after Christmas," She shrugged, her eyes still glistening with tears.
"At Cory and Topanga's?" Josh asked confused.
"Topanga had a feeling…"
"Topanga knows?!"
"She kind of knew before I did…" Maya said, her eyes shifting at the memory.
"You haven't been to the doctor yet, have you?"
Maya shook her head quickly, "No. No, it's just been a few days, and I wanted to tell you first, and I just didn't know when, or how, or - -"
"Maya." Josh cut her off as she kept spinning. "It's okay." He smiled. Josh was shocked, surprised, but he was also excited, and oddly calm. "So do you know… when…?"
"I'm not sure… I'm like… two months late?"
Josh once again pulled Maya to him, laying his forehead against hers. He exhaled heavily, a smile on his face. "You're pregnant," He repeated, his hands going to Maya's stomach.
Maya finally laughed through her tears, "Yeah. Happy New Year."
"God I love you,"
"Are you sure you want to go?" Josh asked Maya as he rinsed his toothbrush out in the sink.
"Yeah, Josh, it's your birthday."
"I know, I just… it's a long drive, I don't want you to be uncomfortable, or get sick or anything," Since Maya had told Josh about being pregnant, he was incredibly calm about having a child with this woman he loved, but there was an uncontrollable sense of protectiveness that washed over him when it came to Maya. He wanted to be with her every minute, wanted to make sure she was okay all of the time.
Maya peaked her head into the bathroom, her eyes locking on Josh's through the mirror. "Josh. I'm fine." She smiled. Maya had made it into her second trimester, and her morning sickness had all but subsided. She was feeling like herself again, and finally had energy back. "Besides, weren't we going to tell your mom tonight?" She asked.
Josh turned, facing Maya. "Are you ready?" He asked.
Maya nodded, "I think so. And… it's not like I'll be able to hide it much longer…" She said pulling her loose shirt around her still small stomach.
Josh smiled. To anybody else, Maya wouldn't look like she was showing at all, but Maya was constantly looking at her stomach in the mirror, examining every inch of her changing body. "I think you look beautiful," Josh said wrapping his arms around her waist. She really was beautiful; as if Josh wasn't in awe with her already, pregnancy favored Maya. He'd always heard the phrase "glowing" but never understood it until it washed over his own girlfriend.
Maya smiled up at him. "Let's go. We're gonna be late."
Josh raised his eyebrow, "Ya know… we're always late,"
Maya laughed, playfully slapping his chest. "No,"
Josh and Maya pulled into the driveway at Amy's house just as the sun was disappearing into the horizon. Amy had moved to a much smaller house the year before last, Josh helping her downsize their large childhood house into something more manageable for his mother.
Josh clasped Maya's hand in his tightly as they walked to the front door.
Maya took a deep breath as Josh rang the doorbell; to say she was nervous about telling Amy would have been an understatement.
"Ma!" Josh smiled as his mother opened the door, a huge smile on her face.
"My boy!" Amy opened her arms for Josh to give her a hug.
Maya let go of Josh's hand so he could embrace his mother.
"Happy birthday, baby."
"Thanks ma," Josh said with a smile as he pulled away and wrapped his arm around Maya's back.
"Maya," Amy smiled, her head tilting slightly.
"Mrs. Matthews," Maya smiled politely back.
"Come on in, it's freezing out here,"
"Mom…" Josh said, his brows pulled together. "I thought it was just us coming for dinner," He asked confused looking at the table set for more than three.
"Oh, your brother and Topanga wanted to come."
Josh raised his eyebrow knowing good and well Cory and Topanga did not want to drive down the Saturday after Valentine's Day to have dinner with his brother and mother.
"Your niece is coming too."
"Riley?" Maya asked confused.
"Mmhmm," Amy smiled.
Josh knew Amy hated being alone, but he also knew his birthday fell on a day most adults didn't want to spend with their siblings or grandparents.
Maya's stomach was in knots, she was already nervous about telling Amy she was pregnant, but now Cory and Riley too? She glanced up at Josh as she felt his hand clasp hers.
Josh gave Maya's hand a reassuring squeeze.
"They should be here any minute,"
Without another beat passing, the doorbell rang.
Amy smiled, pleased with herself.
"I got it," Josh said as he slipped to the door leaving Maya and Amy alone together.
Maya smiled shyly at Amy. "Can I help with anything?" She asked.
"Oh, no you're fine, sweetie." Amy said with a smile, "And that should be Topanga anyway,"
"My brotha!" Josh greeted opening the door.
"My brotha!" Cory matched, his arms open.
Josh smiled as he hugged his brother, letting him and his wife in.
"Happy birthday,"
"Ah, thanks… I'm sorry man, I didn't know she was gonna do all of this…" Josh apologized.
"Every year, Josh," Topanga smiled.
"Jealous?" Josh asked with a raised eyebrow, teasing his sister-in-law.
Topanga rolled her eyes playfully. "Where's your girlfriend?" She asked.
Josh nodded toward behind him, "Kitchen,"
Topanga patted Josh's back as she walked past him heading for the kitchen.
Josh looked at his brother, "Mom said Riley's coming too,"
Cory shook his head, "Unbelievable,"
Josh laughed.
"She didn't even come to my birthday dinner,"
Josh's eyebrows knitted together. "Okay," he nodded with a laugh.
"How's Maya?" Cory asked.
"Fine…" Josh replied skeptically.
"Good," Cory nodded and he and Josh sat on the couch in the living room.
About ten minutes later, the front door swung open as Riley walked in. "Maya?!" She yelled, neither bothering to knock nor greeting her father or uncle as she walked in.
"Hi Riley?" Cory waved trying to get his daughter's attention.
Farkle walked in a few steps behind Riley and shut the door behind him. He looked at Cory and Josh and shrugged apologetically. "Happy birthday, Josh," He said with a nod.
Josh lowered his head in Farkle's direction slightly, "Thanks, Farkle. How've you guys been?"
"Good. Riley's good -she was clearly excited to see Maya, I think it's been since Maya's birthday that they've seen each other."
"A long six weeks," Josh laughed.
Farkle motioned to the kitchen, "Clearly,"
"Peaches!" Riley smiled walking into the kitchen seeing her best friend.
"Honey," Maya smiled back.
Riley wrapped her arms around Maya's neck. "Why don't I get to see you everyday anymore?"
Maya pouted, "Because we're grown ups now,"
"I hate being a grown up."
Maya laughed, "Me too, kid."
Riley pulled back from her friend and finally saw her mother and grandmother standing in the kitchen as well. "Hi mom," She smiled and gave Topanga a hug as well. "Grandma," She said laying her head on Topanga's shoulder, her arm wrapped around her mother's waist.
"You made it just in time, Riley, help me set the table?"
Riley nodded, grabbing a large dish to take to the table.
Topanga walked over to Maya, finally alone with her for a moment. "How're you doing, Maya?"
Maya smiled, her shoulders rising slightly. "I'm good."
"Yeah?" Topanga pressed, her eyes glancing to Maya's stomach momentarily.
Maya nodded, "I'm not throwing up anymore," She smiled.
"Good," Topanga smiled.
Maya's brows pulled together, "We were going to tell Amy tonight…"
Topanga's eyes grew wide, "Oh no…"
"Yeah…" Maya nodded slowly.
"Dinner's ready!" Riley chirped poking her head back into the kitchen alerting her mother and best friend.
Josh smiled when he saw Maya walk into the dining room; every time he saw her, his whole face lit up, he couldn't control the smile that spread across his face. He walked right to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling Maya closer to him. "Riley was looking for you," He smiled.
"Funny,"
Josh kissed Maya's forehead. "You still want to tell them?"
Maya shrugged, "We'll have to eventually…"
Josh nodded.
"After dinner." Maya told him.
"Deal."
Riley insisted on sitting next to Maya at dinner, Josh flanking Maya's other side, his hand clasping hers under the entire time. Maya remained relatively quiet throughout the meal, trying to listen to everyone else, but her mind being completely preoccupied by what she knew she and Josh were doing after dinner. As she noticed everyone finishing their meals, Maya offered to clear the table while everyone else continued their conversation.
"Hey, Riles, will you help me?" Maya asked, her hands full as she nodded toward the table.
"Yep!" Riley smiled and gathered the rest of the dishes.
Maya stood over the sink, rinsing the dishes off and handing them to her left to Riley to dry. She took a deep breath, "Hey Riles?" What was she doing?
"Yeah?" Riley asked as she focused on the wet plate in her hand.
"I need to tell you something…"
"Okay," Riley smiled, her attention still divided.
"Hey, Riles…" Maya repeated with a more serious tone in her voice.
Riley stopped what she was doing and looked up, Maya, too, had paused washing the plates and was looking directly at the brunette.
Maya's eyes glistened with tears and she pressed her lips together in a smile, her stomach felt like it was tied into knots upon knots. "Riley," She started, her voice shaking.
RIley tilted her head, unsure how to read Maya's expression right now.
"I'm pregnant," Maya breathed.
Riley dropped the plate in her hand, it shattering as it hit the floor.
Maya chuckled slightly and wiped the stray tear that had fallen from her eye. "I had the same reaction,"
Everyone head the plate shatter from the dining room and they jumped, startled by the sound.
Topanga smiled, "I've got it," She said excusing herself.
"Maya," Riley exhaled shakily, ignoring the broken plate at her feet.
Maya laughed again, shrugging slightly.
"Girls…" Topanga said cautiously as she walked into the kitchen.
Maya looked at Topanga and smiled, while Riley kept her eyes glued on Maya.
"Maya…" Riley repeated, tears in her eyes now too. In an instant, Riley threw her arms around Maya's neck, hugging her tightly. "Maya,"
Maya laughed, "You gotta say something other than my name, Riles,"
Riley pulled away, still not acknowledging her mother leaning against the back wall, and gently put her hands on Maya's stomach.
Maya laughed again, more tears falling from her eyes.
"Hi baby Peaches, I love you more than Maya already,"
Maya wiped the tears from her cheeks and grabbed Riley's hands. "We were going to tell Amy tonight, and then everyone showed up… but I wanted to tell you alone."
Riley again pulled Maya into a hug, "Maya," She breathed once more, holding the blonde close, not wanting to let her go.
Maya finally relaxed in Riley's embrace. "It feels so good to finally tell you,"
Riley pulled back from the girls' hug, her brows pulled together. "How long have you known?"
Maya scrunched her nose, "Christmas…"
"Christmas?!" Riley exclaimed.
Maya shrugged, "I mean…"
"Riley," Topanga said finally getting her daughter's attention.
Riley's head snapped in the direction of the voice she was finally hearing, her eyes wide. She quickly glanced back at Maya, concern written all over her face.
Maya nodded toward Topanga, "She knew…"
Topanga was walking toward the girls now.
"You knew?!" Riley practically yelled, almost sounding offended.
"Riley," Topanga shushed her daughter.
Maya pointed to Topanga, "In all fairness, she knew before I did,"
"It's a long story. Will you please move out of the way so I can clean this up?" Topanga asked motioning to the broken glass on the floor. "No more pregnancy talk around breakable dishes, Maya,"
Maya pulled her lips to the side and her brows together. "Sorry," she apologized realizing she had in fact broken two dishes over this very conversation.
"Who else knows?" Riley asked, redirecting the attention back to Maya and her news.
Maya shook her head, "No one. I mean, Josh…"
Topanga chuckled to herself listening to the girls talk.
"So don't say anything yet, We're going to tell everyone after dinner." Maya told Riley.
Riley nodded. "Got it. Maya! I'm so excited for you," She smiled wildly.
"Thanks Riles. We're pretty excited too,"
Riley grabbed Maya one more time, pulling her in for a hug.
After Topanga finished cleaning up the broken glass, the girls went back into the dining room with the rest of the family.
"Mom, wear shoes in the kitchen for a few days," Topanga smiled.
"Sorry," Riley apologized.
As the girls were about to get settled back into their seats, they guys suggested they all move to the living room for a little while before everyone headed home for the evening.
Josh grabbed Maya's hand, holding her back as everyone headed to the living room. "You okay?"
Maya nodded, "I told Riley," She whispered. "I wanted her to know before… ya know. She's my best friend."
Josh nodded and kissed Maya's forehead. "You ready?" He asked.
"Yeah…"
The two walked into the living room, everyone already sitting around the room; Cory held Topanga's hand in his, Riley was curled into Farkle, his arm draped around her shoulders gently, yet protectively. Josh squeezed Maya's hand as they stood in front of their family.
Riley tried to hold back the smile that was making its way across her face.
"Uh, so," Josh started, getting everyone's attention.
Cory looked intently at his brother.
Amy tilted her head slightly, not sure what her son was doing.
Riley clasped onto Farkle's shirt as he looked between Maya and Josh curiously.
"We have some news," Josh continued as he gently squeezed Maya's hand.
Maya swallowed hard, her heart pounding. Why am I so nervous? She questioned to herself.
Josh let go of Maya's hand, wrapping his arm around her waist so he could pull her closer to him. "We're… er well… Maya… I guess we…" Josh, ever the calm, cool, collected one, was fumbling for the right words.
Maya couldn't handle the years it felt like Josh was taking to spit it out. She looked up at him and smiled a gentle close-lipped smile before looking back at the people sitting in front of her. "I'm pregnant," She finally said with a slight shrug.
Josh exhaled the breath he didn't realize he was holding as Maya made the announcement.
Riley's eyes were filled with tears as she waited quietly for her family to react.
Amy's eyes grew wide, "Really?" She asked.
Maya's eyes were glistening now with a fresh set of tears herself as she nodded. "Yeah," She breathed.
Farkle's jaw was slacked as he looked down at his own girlfriend, waiting for her reaction.
Cory stood up and extended his hand to his brother, "Congratulations, man,"
"Thank you, Cory," Josh said with a nod and a strong shake of Cory's hand.
Amy and Topanga had both stood up and were hugging Maya.
"How far along are you?" Amy asked pulling Maya back looking her over.
"I just started my second trimester. LIke, 13, 14 weeks." Maya said with a nod.
"Did you know?" Farkle whispered to Riley.
Riley laid her head on Farkle's shoulder. "Did you hear that dish break earlier?"
"Ah," Farkle smiled.
"I don't know why I'm crying," Maya laughed through her tears as she wiped her cheeks for what felt like the hundredth time.
Maya collapsed onto the bed when she and Josh finally made it home.
Josh laughed seeing his girlfriend, still fully clothed, practically asleep already lying on top of the covers. He walked over to Maya and began taking her shoes off for her. "Tired?" He asked.
"So. Tired. Can't. Move." Maya mumbled.
"You don't want to change? And put on some really comfortable pajamas?" Josh tried to entice her.
"No," Maya pouted.
Josh laughed, "Come on," he said grabbing a pair of pants and a shirt out of the drawers for Maya to change into.
Maya pushed herself up to where she was sitting up, a frown set across her face.
"Pitiful." Josh nodded handing her the sleep clothes and turned to change out of his clothes and into something more comfortable.
"Hey," Maya piped up, getting Josh's attention.
Josh turned around, his hand on his wrist, undoing his watch.
"I had a good time tonight," Maya smiled.
Josh couldn't resist her blue eyes and beautiful smile. He walked over to Maya and gently grabbed her face, kissing her softly yet full of passion. "So did I," He whispered, his forehead resting against Maya's. He gently kissed the top of her nose before standing back up to finish getting ready for bed.
"Everyone seemed like they handled it well…" Maya yawned as she slid her pants off, tossing them across the room.
"Except Riley,"
Maya laughed. "She is the only one who broke something tonight. But your brother… your mom… they seemed okay…"
Josh walked over to Maya in nothing but his boxers and placed his hands on the small blonde's shoulders. "Everyone is okay, Maya. You have nothing to worry about," He tried to reassure her.
Maya exhaled, "Yeah," she said and rested her hands on her still flat stomach then laid back down on the bed.
"Josh!" Maya screamed from the bathroom.
Josh shot up from bed, worry surging through his veins, "What?!" He asked panicked as he walked into the bathroom only to find Maya standing sideways staring at herself in the mirror lifting her shirt up, then pulling it back down. "Maya." He said in almost a scolding tone.
Maya looked at Josh through the mirror, her eyebrows pulled together, confused by his tone.
Josh shook his head, "You can't - - you scared the shit out of me,"
"Yeah, but look!" Maya said pointing to her stomach, her eyes wides.
Maya was into her 17th week and she was starting to actually show. Still nothing major, but when she lifted her shirt like she was now, you could clearly see the bump developing.
Everything about Maya made Josh's heart race, and now, watching her carry their growing child, it almost made Josh's heart ache with how much he loved her. "You look beautiful," He whispered in awe of the woman in front of him.
Maya turned her head, looking at Josh standing next to her now. She smiled softly, gently grabbing his face between her hands, kissing him with an almost painful honesty.
Josh's hands immediately found Maya's waist, pulling her closer to him. He rested his hands on her small stomach and placed his forehead against Maya's, "God, I love you," He breathed. Moments like this truly stole his breath; Josh wasn't sure what he did to deserve her, but he never wanted to let Maya go, not now, not ever. 'What are you doing today?"
Maya smiled brightly, "I'm going to lunch with Riley!"
Josh laughed, "How long has it been since you've seen her?"
"Two weeks," Maya said with a finger pointed in the air.
"How have you made it that long?" Josh teased.
Maya scrunched her nose, making a face at Josh's comment. She pulled her shirt back down over her stomach.
"Where are you going?"
"Just down the street. Like three blocks."
Josh made a face, his brows knitting together in worry.
"What?" Maya asked, easily reading his expression.
"It's just that it's still pretty snowy out there, Maya… need to be careful."
Maya's eyes widened at Josh's comment. "What, do you think pregnant women just sit at home all winter?"
"No… I just want this pregnant woman to sit at home all winter," He said with a smile.
Maya laughed, "Sorry." She said with a toothy grin. "Ain't happenin," Maya stood on her tip toes placing a quick peck on Josh's cheek.
Josh shook his head, he knew better than to try and tell Maya what to do. "Well give her a hug for me,"
Maya nodded, "Will do," She said as she slid on her shoes. Maya smiled and gave Josh one more kiss before heading out the door in a coat so big you couldn't even tell she was pregnant.
Josh laughed shaking his head slightly at this woman.
"Peaches!" Riley cheered seeing Maya walk into the small restaurant.
Maya smiled seeing her best friend and began taking her coat off.
Riley's eyes grew as she finally saw Maya's small baby bump beginning to form. "Baby Peaches!" She gasped, her hands immediately going to Maya's stomach.
Maya laughed slightly, she wasn't crazy about the idea of people touching her stomach, but Riley was fair game. "Hi, Riles,"
Riley wrapped her arms around Maya, bringing her in for a hug. "How are you?!"
Maya nodded, "Good," She smiled sitting down. "How are you?"
"Fine," Riley said her brow furrowed. "How's my baby?"
Maya laughed again, "Fine," She nodded.
"Getting bigger, I see,"
"Me too," Maya frowned.
"You look amazing, Maya," Riley assured her.
"Thanks, Riles," Maya said with a slight smile. "Oh, Josh says to tell you hi,"
Riley smiled, "Hi back. How is he doing?"
Maya nodded, "Good. He's… I don't know, he's handling this really well."
"Of course he is," Riley said with a shake of her hand in the air.
Maya tilted her head to the side, confused by Riley's comment.
"We can all see how he looks at you, Maya, how he's always looked at you," Riley said with a shrug. "You're everything to him,"
Tears sprung to Maya's eyes hearing Riley's words. Riley had never said anything like that to Maya before.
"Oh, Maya," Riley said, noticing the tears in her friend's eyes.
Maya shook her head, looking up, trying to stop her tears. "Stupid hormones." She laughed.
Riley placed her hand over Maya's gently squeezing her best friend's hands.
"I'm lucky to have him,"
"He's lucky to have you," Riley didn't miss a beat.
"Riley!" Maya laughed as a new wave of tears hit her. "You gotta stop, I'll never stop crying,"
"Sorry," Riley smiled. "I'm so happy for you, Maya…"
"Thanks, Riles. I'm… I'm really happy too." Maya nodded, a smile making its way onto her face as well. And she was really happy and Josh was really happy, and they were really happy together.
Winter was beginning to fade into Spring, warm days held cooler nights, a nice break from the bitter New York winter. Josh spent the night bargaining with Maya for more covers on the bed; she was complaining of being warm, but Josh was freezing. They compromised with Josh either layering a blanket over him or moving to the couch and using as many blankets as he wanted.
Josh woke in the middle of the night to the feel of something wet up against him. He glanced over at Maya, her hair was matted around her face, wet with sweat. Josh frowned sweetly at her; her face twisted with slight discomfort. He quietly stood up and went to the bedroom window, cracking it slightly letting some of the cool night air make its way into the bedroom. The light from the moon was illuminating the room slightly, Josh hoped the new light wouldn't wake his sleeping girlfriend, knowing how difficult it was for her to rest lately.
As he made his way back to the bed, Josh noticed blood running down his calf. "Shit," He cursed to himself, wondering when and how he cut his leg. He quickly went to their bathroom, not wanting to drip blood all over the floor. Josh turned the faucet on, grabbed a washcloth and began wiping his leg clean. He hadn't turned the light on, trying not to wake Maya, but as he searched his leg, he couldn't find a cut as to where the blood was coming from. In an instant, Josh's stomach completely fell, Maya, he thought with complete panic. Josh ran back into the bedroom and pulled the covers off his still sleeping girlfriend. "Maya!" He practically screamed seeing the pool of blood on the bed surrounding her curled frame. "Maya!" He repeated, his whole body shaking with fear.
Maya blinked her eyes open, her hands clasped around her slightly swollen stomach, eyebrows pulled together in what Josh now recognized as pain.
Josh quickly turned the lamp on next to the bed, lighting up the room slightly. Maya's face was completely white, her eyes seeming distant. "We have to go." He said, his eyes wide.
"Josh…" Maya's voice was laced with confusion until she too felt the cool blood around her, and the pain finally registering in her head.
"Come on," Josh quickly wrapped his arms around Maya, lifting her off the bed as she laced her arms around his neck. Josh could barely look at her, Maya's face now a horrifying mix of pain and fear, a look Josh couldn't stomach, a look he never wanted to see on the woman he loved.
Maya gasped as a sharp pain struck her, she shut her eyes in response, tightening her arms around Josh. "Josh," she whimpered.
If the look on Maya's face broke Josh, the sound of her voice completely shattered him. He wanted to break down right then and there, completely fall apart and sob, but he couldn't. He had to be strong for Maya, he had to take care of her. "I know, babe. Hang with me," He whispered, trying to be soothing as he hurried to his truck and immediately raced to the nearest hospital. Luckily it was the middle of the night and the streets were relatively vacant. As he sped down the road, street light after street light continued to illuminate Maya's face, Josh could see she was in agony, and he pressed his foot to the floor even harder.
Maya clasped Josh's hand tightly as he drove, her jaw clenching in pain what felt like every second. "Josh," She finally whimpered again, tears streaming down her face as she looked up at him.
Josh shook his head, his eyes straight ahead; he couldn't look at her, he couldn't bare to acknowledge the thoughts she was having.
Maya shut her eyes, pressing her head against the headrest, her tears continuing to roll freely down her pale cheeks.
The Doctors finally got Maya's bleeding to stop, and they gave her some medicine for the pain, which thankfully eased her right to sleep. Josh on the other hand was burdening a whole different kind of pain, something no IV could help. He looked over at Maya, her face finally resting peacefully. He gently grabbed her hand nearest to him, clasping it in between both of his as he brought his lips to her fingers, kissing her gently.
Maya exhaled heavily at his contact, slowly blinking her eyes open.
"I'm sorry," Josh whispered, standing up and brushing the loose hair out of her face. "I didn't mean to wake you."
Maya shook her head silently.
"Ms. Hart," The doctor said walking into the room seeing Maya finally awake.
Josh's head snapped in the direction of the door hearing the authoritative, yet soothing voice of the Doctor; his stomach immediately dropped.
Maya and Josh sat silently as the doctor explained what happened, confirming what they both feared over the past several hours: they had lost the baby.
"The technical term is cervical insufficiency. The uterus was divided, and thus not allowing enough room for the baby to grow properly. You said she had been complaining about cramping for a few days?" The doctor asked looking at Josh.
Josh nodded. He knew he should have brought her to the doctor as soon as she mentioned cramping. But Maya assured him that some cramping was normal, and there was no bleeding to be concerned about. His stomach flopped again as he the sight of Maya laying in a pool of her blood on their bed flashed through his memory.
"Right, so that was your body going into preterm labor, thinking there was no more room for the baby and preparing for delivery." The Doctor continued.
Maya was barely listening, she felt completely numb, this wasn't supposed to happen.
"So this is where we are now. You were just on the other side of 20 weeks. So, there are two options there, we can induce you, give you some medication to stimulate labor, or you can do what is called a natural miscarriage, where you continue on, and your body will naturally initiate the process. You do not have to decide right now, I know this is a difficult time for the both of you, and I am truly sorry for your loss…"
Neither Josh nor Maya said a word, both sitting frozen with the realization of what was happening. They were completely surprised when they found out Maya was pregnant, not having planned the situation they found themselves in, but their lives immediately changed and they were excited to have this new forever link of the two of them. And as quickly as they had fallen in love with this new part of their lives, everything was pulled out from underneath them.
The couple sat in silence for what felt like hours, Maya couldn't look at Josh, but Josh couldn't take his eyes off of her. He had never seen such a shell of the feisty blonde and his whole being was aching to make everything better. But he knew there was nothing he could do to fix this… this would affect her forever - it would affect both of them forever. Josh held Maya's hand in his, knowing no words could help, but needing her to know he was there.
Maya finally lifted her gaze, looking into Josh's eyes. Her chin was quivering as she tried to hold it together. "I'm so sorry…" She whispered.
"Maya," Josh breathed standing up, pulling his girlfriend tightly to him. "No, please don't ever say that," He had tears in his eyes. Josh hadn't thought about the weight Maya was carrying feeling somehow responsible for this.
"I don't know what to do, Josh," She cried into his chest.
Josh's hand was on the back of Maya's head as he continued to hold the shaking girl in his arms. "Me neither…" He whispered.
"It hurts so bad," Josh knew she wasn't talking about the physical pain she had been feeling earlier, this was something much deeper, something no Doctor would be able to repair.
"I know," Josh whispered. "God, I'm so sorry, Maya." He repeated her previous statement.
The thought of delivering her child who she would never get to take home and stay up late nights feeding and watch grow up and go to school and… the list went on and on and Maya's heart continued to shatter into even more fragmented pieces than she thought possible; it broke her. "I don't want to do it…" She finally admitted. Maya pulled back and looked up at Josh. "How am I supposed to do this?"
Josh shook his head, "I don't know, Maya…" He answered honestly.
Maya laid back onto the crisp, white pillows, covering her face with her hands, crying, finally letting it all out. "It's not fair!" She cried.
There was nothing Josh could do or say in this moment. Maya needed to go through these feelings, she needed to cry, to get everything out. This wasn't fair; she was right. There was nothing in this world Josh wouldn't trade to make things different for her, but he couldn't.
Without making a decision, Maya eventually cried herself to sleep, her body truly needing to rest. Josh sat next to her, never moving, his eyes continually trained on her; he didn't know what to do either.
The sun was beginning to come up, a new day beginning for the rest of the city, a day Josh felt like he had already lived a hundred years through, one he wished he could go back and change more than any other day in his life. Maya was still sleeping, and he finally stepped away momentarily to make a phone call.
"Josh?" A groggy voice answered from the other end of the line.
"Did I wake you up? What time is it? I'm sorry…" Josh was speaking too fast, not giving the other person a chance to respond.
"What's going on?"
"I…" Josh began struggling for the right words.
"What happened?"
"Cory… I need you, I don't know what to do, or who to call… I…" Josh was crying now, his composure completely lost as he spoke to his older brother.
"Where are you, Josh? What happened?" Cory repeated.
"The hospital… Maya, she - -"
"I'm on my way," Cory didn't wait for Josh to finish, he could hear everything he needed to know in Josh's voice.
What felt like mere minutes later Cory was walking down the hallway of the hospital toward Maya's room. Josh was waiting outside of the room for his brother to show up, and when Cory finally reached him, neither said a word. Cory wrapped his arms around his younger brother as Josh finally broke down.
"Josh…" Cory said shaking his head as he held a very broken Josh in his arms.
"God!" Josh cried out.
"What happened?" Cory asked after several minutes of Josh crying into his embrace.
Josh shook his head running his hand through his hair. "I don't even really know, Cory… I just… I woke up in the middle of the night and there was just blood… everywhere. I… I got her here as fast as I could, but… God!" Josh was starting to lose it again, there were moments you never forget, and last night was forever seared into Josh's memory.
Cory didn't say anything, he just stood there, his hand on his baby brother's shoulders. He hated seeing Josh in so much pain, and Cory didn't know what to do either, this was a pain he had never felt, and he knew there was nothing he could do to make this any easier.
"Did you know she has to deliver it?! She has to go through labor, Core… I… she…" Josh couldn't catch his breath and his stomach was in knots thinking about the toll this was going to take on Maya. God what he wouldn't give to take all this pain away from her, he would gladly carry this entire burden himself if it meant she didn't have to go through this.
Cory exhaled heavily, squeezing Josh's shoulders gently.
Josh shook his head, his hand finding its way to his mess of brown hair yet again. "We haven't told anyone… I, I don't know what she wants to do. I'm sorry, I just needed someone - -"
"Josh, you can always call me. I am so sorry this happened… I don't - - I know there is nothing I can say or do right now, but I am right here."
Josh nodded, "Thank you…"
"How's Maya?" Cory asked cautiously lowering his head.
Josh shrugged, shaking his head.
Cory nodded, understanding Josh's message.
"She… we? She has to decide what she wants to do, and I think it was just too much for her, she finally fell asleep."
Cory nodded, staying silent, letting his brother get everything out without interrupting.
"I just want it all to be over," Josh said honestly. "I just want to take her home and it to all be over."
"I know you do, Josh. You're a good man."
Josh shook his head. "I should have… Dammit, I should have brought her up here last week - - God!" Josh's hand was balled into a fist, ready to punch something -anything to get his frustration out.
"Josh," Cory tried to reason with him. "There's nothing you could have done… these things - -"
"Just happen?! Cory, I could have done something!"
Cory sighed, "This isn't your fault. This isn't her fault," Cory said nodding to the room behind Josh.
Josh turned his head, looking in on his girlfriend, she was beginning to stir; he didn't want her to wake up alone. "I'm gonna go back in there with her…"
"Okay, do you want me to stay?"
Josh's eyes were begging Cory not to leave, but he didn't know how to ask him to stay.
"Go check on her, I'll be right here." Cory told him.
Josh nodded, "Thank you."
Cory patted Josh's back, "I got you, Josh."
Josh held Maya's hand as she squeezed it tightly, another contraction striking her already exhausted body. Josh's heart was shattering; this wasn't how this was supposed to happen.
Maya didn't make a sound, she didn't scream once, silent tears rolled down her face as she tried to remain strong through what was undoubtedly the worst moment of her life.
There were no cries, no tears of joy, no congratulations as Maya pushed one final push, sweat and tears rolling down her face, mixing together tragically.
The nurses wrapped the unimaginably small baby in a pink blanket, gently handing her to Maya.
Gut-wrenching didn't feel like an accurate enough description for the pain Maya felt. She laid her head back against the pillows, trying to will the tears and the indescribable, all-consuming, painful darkness away. Maya felt every emotion she could fathom. There was a pang of pride looking down at the beautiful doll-like child she and Josh had created. "Hi, baby girl," Maya whispered, her heart aching more than she thought possible. She looked up at Josh, who was standing right next to her. "She's beautiful," Maya whispered, tears streaming from her eyes.
Josh swallowed hard and nodded, leaning down kissing the top of Maya's head.
Maya spent the next hour or so holding her precious baby, telling her how sorry she was, how much she loved her, and how she hoped she found Papa Matthews wherever she ended up; he would look after her.
Josh had joined Maya on the bed, one leg hanging off the side and his arm around his girlfriend's back.
"She's so tiny…"
Josh again nodded, still not saying much; he didn't know what to say.
Maya's chin began quivering, her eyes brimming with tears again.
"Maya," Josh whispered once again kissing the top of her head.
"I just want to keep her forever… we should have been able to keep her forever…" She cried looking down at the small child, tears streaming down her face.
"I know…" Josh sighed rubbing the back of Maya's head. "I'm so sorry, Maya…"
Maya nodded, her jaw clenched as her eyes tried to take in every inch, every ounce, every fiber of the child she knew she would never see again.
Maya was cleared to leave the hospital after another day. She remembered every moment of the last 48 hours with intense clarity, yet everything felt like a blur. Maya was ready to just be home; she wanted out of the hospital, away from all the longing looks from every Doctor and nurse that came to talk to her. She just wanted to be alone.
Josh glanced at Maya sitting next to him in the truck, her arms wrapped around her waist protectively. She had a blank look on her face, but he knew she was carrying the weight of the world. Maya was still a little groggy, and quite sore from everything that had happened; traumatic didn't even feel like a strong enough word to describe what she had just been through. Josh helped her out of the truck and slowly up to the apartment, ready to guide her to their bed. His stomach sank as they stepped into the living room as he remembered how he left the bed two nights ago. He didn't want Maya to see it, so he carefully guided her to the couch, urging her to eat something before she went and laid down as he prepared to quickly change the sheets. He brought Maya a bowl of her favorite cereal, hoping he could coax her with sugary breakfast treats. She didn't take the bait, and he sat the bowl in front of her hoping she might change her mind.
Josh was working on auto-pilot as he made his way to the bedroom, already mentally preparing himself for what he was going to see and be reminded of. His brows pulled together in confusion as he saw the bed perfectly clean, a new set of sheets replacing the ones he knew were going to have to be thrown away. "How…?" He whispered to himself when a small piece of paper on the bedside table caught his eye.
Riley let us borrow her spare key. She doesn't know. C & T
Josh's lips pressed into a small smile. Of course it was Cory and Topanga; there was no way Cory was going to let them come home to the horror scene Josh described to him over and over. And they hadn't told Riley. Josh was so grateful to have a brother like Cory; he made a mental note to call him after Maya fell asleep.
Josh walked back into the living room to find Maya hadn't moved, her cereal still untouched. He sighed, he knew this was going to be difficult for her, it was for him, but he had to be strong for Maya right now. "Hey babe, you ready to get some rest?" He asked gently.
Maya nodded, her eyes still staring blankly ahead.
"Come on," Josh said as he carefully helped Maya up from the couch and to the bedroom.
She didn't ask any questions about the state of the bed, she just crawled right in, curling in on herself.
"Do you need anything?" Josh asked sitting down next to Maya, brushing her hair softly.
Maya shook her head, "I just want to be alone…"
Josh nodded and stood up from the bed, leaving Maya to get some rest, hoping she would actually get some sleep. Josh pulled his phone out dialing his brother's number.
"Josh," Cory answered.
"Thank you." Josh immediately replied.
"Oh, it was literally the least we could do. I… I wish there was more…"
"No. You have no idea… I don't think I could have stomached… seeing it again. Thank you." Josh repeated.
Cory couldn't imagine the images seared into Josh's memory, it made his heart ache and he just saw the aftermath, Josh was in it, he lived it, he saw his girlfriend literally losing their child. Changing the sheets was the least he could do. "Hey, listen, I know you hadn't told anyone, and I didn't tell Riley, but, obviously, I told Topanga. She's not going to say anything, but… she sends her love. She said to tell Maya she can be there in less than ten minutes if she needs her for anything."
"I appreciate that, Cory."
"How is Maya?"
Josh ran his hand through his hair, "Hopefully getting some rest… It was pretty rough, Core. And just… awful. She didn't, she was silent through the whole thing, just crying silently. God… I'll never - -I've never… she's so tough, ya know? But, I know it's killing her..."
"I can't imagine, Josh… I'm so sorry."
"Yeah," Josh sighed.
"How are you?" Cory asked, he was equally concerned for his brother as he was for Maya, this was going to be hard on Josh as well, and Cory knew he'd be keeping up a tough front.
"Ah, I'm okay. I just worry about her… it was a girl."
Cory could hear Josh's voice cracking.
"She was beautiful… So small, you couldn't imagine how small, Cory… but…"
"You'll never forget those moments."
"God I hope not," Josh breathed.
"Hey, listen, I know you're probably not up for visitors, but Topanga has been cooking all day. She said she knows you don't cook, and Maya lives off of cereal,"
Josh laughed slightly thinking about hs girl; she really would live off cereal.
"But, we figure you both need some actual food. We don't have to stay - -we don't even have to come in, but, we've got probably two weeks worth of meals for you guys."
"Ah, Cory, she didn't have to do that."
"I don't think she knew what else to do…"
Josh nodded, he knew the feeling. He'd been walking around for the past two days not knowing what to do. In all honesty, Josh was more than grateful, Maya wasn't even eating cereal right now, so he hoped some homemade Topanga meals might coax her into eating. He wouldn't mind the company either; just sitting around alone gave him way too much time to think about things he didn't particularly want to be think about ever again. "Well… Maya's asleep right now, but you guys can come over whenever," Josh told his brother with a sigh, "I'll be up for twelve more days,"
Cory could hear the exhaustion in his brother's voice, not just physical exhaustion, but Josh had been the strength for him and Maya for the past two days, two of the hardest days of their lives, having someone else there would probably do Josh some good. "Okay, we'll head that way soon. Can you think of anything you need?"
"A beer." Josh laughed cynically.
Cory chuckled lightly, "I can do that."
Within the hour, Cory and Topanga were at Maya and Josh's apartment, arms full of warm food. Josh opened the door, a small smile on his face, "My brotha," He tried to keep things as normal as possible.
Cory's lips pressed into a sad, half smile, "My brotha," He repeated, immediately setting his hands of food down, wrapping his arms around his little brother.
Topanga walked straight to the kitchen, setting her food down.
"Topanga," Josh smiled at his sister-in-law.
Topanga returned Josh's smile and embraced the youngest Matthews brother. "How are you?" she asked, holding him tight.
Josh nodded, "I'm okay. Thank you for everything,"
Topanga shook her head as she pulled away, her eyes glistening with tears, "It was nothing, Josh. That's what family is for."
Cory was in the kitchen unloading the food listening quietly.
"How's Maya?" Topanga almost whispered asked as she and Josh sat down on the couch.
Josh shrugged. He didn't really know how to answer that question.
Topanga nodded; she couldn't imagine the pain Maya was feeling right now. "I'm so sorry, Josh… I can't imagine what you two have been through - - how scared you must have been."
Josh's eyes were wide as he remembered seeing Maya lying in the bed, blood what felt like everywhere.
Cory had joined Topanga and Josh in the living room, sitting in a chair across from Josh, he watched his brother with concern, seeing the fear and agony written across Josh's face.
"It was…" Josh tried to find the words, and his hands instinctively going to his hair. "I mean, you saw," he said motioning between Cory and Topanga.
Topanga lowered her head slightly; she did see, and she cried the entire time she and Cory changed the sheets and cleaned the bedding. Maya was her brother's girlfriend, but she would always be the little girl Topanga helped raise too, and picturing her little Maya amongst such a devastating scene, it was almost more than Topanga could bear. She didn't know how Josh did it.
"This is going to be a long road, Josh," Cory finally said honestly.
Josh looked over at his brother and nodded slowly. "Yeah…"
"She's going to need you,"
Again, Josh just nodded.
"But Josh… we're here for you too. If you need anything…" Cory added as he leaned forward, resting his hand on his brother's knee.
Topanga rubbed Josh's back soothingly. They knew how strong Josh was being, but it was okay for him to need someone too.
A week passed and Maya was still a shell of who she used to be. Josh couldn't blame her, he too felt like he was navigating blindly through an insurmountable darkness. They would meet each other's glances throughout the day and Josh could see everything in Maya shatter. He didn't have to say anything, Josh would just grab Maya and hold her against him as her body shook with gut-wrenching sobs.
Josh was in the kitchen when he heard the sound of Maya's phone going off. He immediately directed his attention to his girlfriend in the living room.
Maya picked up her phone cautiously, avoiding outside contact for the most part over the last week. She exhaled shakily reading the text in front of her.
"Maya…" Josh said cautiously as he walked toward her.
Maya held her phone out for Josh to read.
Riles
Hi Peaches! And Baby Peaches! :) I'm in the city for the afternoon. The three of us, lunch?
Maya's chin was quivering as a few tears ran down her cheeks.
Josh sat on the couch next to Maya, one hand immediately entangling in her mess of blonde hair as he pulled her head against his chest. Josh's heart was breaking all over again.
"What do I do?" Maya whimpered.
"I'll talk to her," Josh said with a shake of his head. He didn't even think twice about his response, he was ready to do anything to help Maya not shatter every moment of every day.
Maya pulled back, her cheeks wet with a new set of tears. "I need to do it…"
Josh's brows pulled together, "Maya…"
"She'll want to see me anyway - - I need to do it."
"Okay," Josh nodded. "I can… leave or…?"
Maya shook her head quickly, "No, please don't leave," her eyes were wide as she practically begged Josh to stay.
"Okay," Josh repeated. "I won't,"
Maya slid her phone out of Josh's hand to text Riley back.
Hey Riles. How about you come over here for a bit?
Within the hour Riley was knocking on the front door of Maya and Josh's apartment.
Josh answered the door, seeing his smiling niece in front of him. "Hey Riley," He said forcing a small smile onto his face.
"Uncle Josh…" Riley slowly, immediately noticing the somberness in his voice.
"Hey Riles," Maya said from the couch.
Riley walked past Josh and straight to her best friend. If Josh's voice signaled something was wrong, Maya's face screamed it. "Maya…" Riley said cautiously as she joined her on the couch.
Maya's eyes immediately filled with tears looking at her best friend.
"Maya…" Riley repeated.
Josh quietly joined the girls in the living room, sitting behind Maya as she faced Riley.
"What's wrong?" Riley asked, her brown eyes now mirroring the glassy look of Maya's blue ones as tears threatened to fall from them.
Maya swallowed hard, her hand finding Josh's, clasping it tightly. "Riley…" She started and looked down, her vacant hand going to her stomach. Maya looked back up at Riley, tears falling freely now. "About a week ago… Josh took me to the hospital…"
Riley couldn't hold back her tears now herself and her chin began quivering as she clenched her teeth.
Maya shook her head, "I… I don't even…" Maya had yet to say any of this outloud and it was proving more difficult than she expected. It was like she was reliving the whole thing over again and she felt like she couldn't catch her breath.
Josh gently pressed a kiss to the back of Maya's head.
Maya closed her eyes at Josh's contact, finally taking a breath. She exhaled shakily, looking up at the brunette once more.
Riley held onto Maya's gaze, their eyes screaming every word they couldn't speak aloud.
Maya gently shook her head, her chin shaking and nostrils flaring as she tried to stay strong.
Riley's eyes grew wide as she understood what Maya was saying. She looked behind her best friend at her Uncle, hoping his face would tell her something different.
Josh pressed his lips together in a tight line and he sighed as he looked at his niece.
Riley immediately grabbed Maya's hands in hers, squeezing them gently, "Maya," She whispered.
Maya leaned forward, her head resting against Riley's shoulder.
Riley wrapped her arms around her broken friend. She didn't know what to say; there was nothing to say. She just held Maya as she finally broke down and cried in her arms.
Josh sat back and watched the two girls, knowing Riley was everything Maya needed right now.
"Maya," Riley whispered rubbing the back of Maya's head.
Maya choked on a sob, trying to catch her breath.
"God," She breathed.
Maya stayed in her friend's arms for what felt like hours, neither girl saying a word, both just needing to hold and be held by the other. They didn't have to say anything to be there for each other. Maya finally pulled away from Riley, both girls' faces tear stained and eyes heavy.
"I am so sorry," Riley finally whispered, Maya's hands clasped in hers.
Maya nodded, "I know."
Riley looked at Josh, "Josh," She breathed.
Josh nodded, knowing Riley's words were for both of them.
"Please call me if you need anything."
"We will," Josh answered, his hand on his girlfriend's back supportively. "She's the strongest woman I know,"
Riley nodded, "Me too," her eyes holding onto Maya's. "I'm right here, Maya," She reminded her best friend.
Maya nodded.
Riley didn't want to leave, she didn't want to walk away from her best friend like this. She didn't know what to do or say, she didn't know how to make this better. Deep down she knew there was nothing she could do, there was nothing that would make this better. Her heart was shattering for Josh and Maya, over and over, every moment. "I love you, so much," She said resting her forehead against Maya's.
"I love you too." Maya whispered. "Thank you for coming."
Riley wrapped her arms around Maya a final time, "Of course, buddy. Call me, text me, I'm here." She reminded her one last time. Riley looked up at Josh, "You too," she told him honestly.
"Thanks, Riley," Josh said with a gentle nod.
Maya leaned into her boyfriend as he rejoined her on the couch after having walked Riley out. The sun was beginning to set, a golden hue casting into their apartment. She exhaled heavily, "When does this get easier?" Maya whispered.
Josh rubbed Maya's back soothingly. "I don't know…" he answered honestly.
"I'm so sorry, Josh…" Maya said shaking her head slowly.
Josh's heart ached every time Maya apologized. He hated that she felt like she needed to apologize. "Maya…" He sighed.
"I'm just sorry…"
"It's not your fault." He reminded her, holding her chin in his hand.
Maya shrugged, looking at him. "I know. But I'm still sorry."
"And I am so sorry," He reciprocated her feeling. Taking blame out of it, they were both aching for what the other was going through, for what the life they thought they were going to have being stripped from both of them. It was heartbreaking, and they loved each other so much that it killed both of them knowing what the other was aching for.
"Thank you for being here," Maya's voice was shaking again. She didn't know what she would have done without him. She couldn't imagine her life without this man; the ups, the downs, he never faltered and even through this pain, Maya was grateful to have Josh beside her.
"Maya," Josh breathed. He wrapped one arm around the seemingly tiny woman in front of him, so small, yet carrying the unbearable weight of the world on her heart. His other hand brushed through her blonde locks, pulling her head into his chest as he held her close. He closed his eyes and exhaled, "I'm not going anywhere. No matter what." He promised.
Don't hate me. Please don't hate me. There is one final part to this story, and these two have already been through hell and back together. I'm not completely evil.
If you want to stay up-to-date with how the next part is going, early alerts as to when it is going live and get teases prior to the update, I spam my followers in Twitter with all things No Matter What (and my other Joshaya fic, Maya Meets World). I love connecting with you guys -even if you're telling me how much you hate me... my handle is: MandaLou52.
Thank you for all of your support and kind words for this story. I hope to not have ruined your feelings toward it with this one. I love each and every one of you... I promise I do!
Until next time...
Be kind. Do good.
xoxo Manders
