A/N: Just to clarify, this fic is both a self-insert and AU, the SI has been inserted as Fry. While this does mean he will follow the series, he will not act or react as canon Fry may have.

Also before I get any flames, the alien race I'm introducing, the Voxxen, are anthropomorphic foxes. This isn't as far a stretch as it sounds because there is a canon anthro cat race shown in 'I Second That Emotion' in the waiting room for the vet holding a miniature human.

If you don't like it, then don't read.

If you recognise it, I don't own it.

Chapter 3

I'm feeling a little nervous as the shuttle descends, I haven't seen Earth in two years due to signing up with Earthforce and what a tour it was.

The Dilgar war (though that clusterfrak was due to Zapp Brannigan's incompetence snowballing horribly), the Omicronian invasion, the Liberation of Vox from Omicronian occupation, another Omicronian invasion, the Proxima Robot Rebellion (another of Brannigan's foul ups) and the Omega Incident (courtesy of Earthforce's, semi-competent, version of Brannigan, Michael Jankowski).

Though winding up the Captain of a Hyperion-Delta heavy cruiser (however briefly) was neat.

Now, I just need to find a phone booth...

"Hey Fry, what you gonna do once you get down there?" Bender asked, blowing smoke rings from his cigar.

My right ear flicked as the smoke brushed it, "looking for my many greats nephew, like I meant to two years ago," I told him.

"Really?" he asked in surprise.

"Why not, unlike you I don't have anywhere else to go," I pointed out.

"Well, it's not my place to say... but do you really think a geriatric old meatbag is not going to have a heart attack when he sees you?"

I glare at him as my ears twitch again.

Ok, two months ago was the Omega Incident, during the incident my ship, EAS Von Der Tann, suffered a plasma leak from the number 3 reactor as a result of Jankowski flamingoing up.

Naturally I went back to try and save my shipmates, leaving me with second degree plasma burns on forty percent of my body and soaking up enough delta radiation to make my great grandkids glow in the dark. Between the burns and the radiation destabilising my DNA the only thing that could save my life was completely rebuilding my body using gene-splicing and genetic engineering.

By some coincidence (possibly cosmic meddling), my DNA was spliced with a sample taken from the Direwolf skeleton in one of the natural history museums.

Fortunately the only obvious outward sign was the two wolf ears on either side of my head, unlike the others who now sported furry ears, wolf-like noses and tails.

The less obvious sign... let's just say if I ever date a Voxxen they'll be very happy.

"Come on, it's not like I ended up like Samson or Kane," I protested.

"True, but he's still old," Bender countered.

"And has thus, likely seen plenty of weird stuff already," I countered.

"Eh," Bender replied elegantly, "you're paying for the cab, right?"

I glared at my friend then turned back to watching the shuttle's descent.


Well, the building's as I remember it, though it seems a little bigger.

I ring the bell and wait, my ear flicks as Bender starts whistling.

After a few minutes a foggy figure appears through the glass and the doors open, "eh wha? Who are you?" a wrinkled old man wearing thick glasses, a lab coat, polo-neck sweater, pyjama pants and turquoise slippers.

"I'm Phillip J. Fry, your long lost uncle," I said.

"I don't have an uncle Fry!" the man retorted.

"You do now," Bender countered, pushing past him and into the building.

"Sorry, Bender's an acquired taste," I apologised, "look, I was frozen in the twentieth century and when I woke up they told me you were my surviving relative,"

He took the fax I held and examined it, "this is dated two years ago!"

I winced, "Yeah, had a few problems with the cops so I joined Earthforce."

"Wait, you're THAT Philip Fry?" he demanded incredulously.

"Yeah, but don't spread it around," I asked him, "the fangirls..." I shuddered.

"I know the feeling," the professor said solemnly, "well I have a device that can verify this so why don't you come on in?"


Ten minutes later I'm in an armchair with my finger in a doohikey that has a nineteenth century style lightbulb on top with the professor facing me with his finger in the other side.

Finally it stops ticking and the bulb lights up.

"Heh. This is absolutely incredible," the professor says elatedly, "I am your nephew."

"A few hundred years removed," I quip.

"Heh heh," Bender chuckles, then leans over the professor, "can we have some money?"

I roll my eyes as the professor refuses.

"Here, let me show you around," the professor says.

We follow him into the main hangar.

"This is my workbench and this is my lab stool," the professor says, gesturing to both items, then waving at a light green spaceship, "and there is my inter-galactic spaceship."

"Nice," I compliment as my eyes rove the hull, "your own design?"

"Yes indeed," the professor confirms, "here, let me show you the many lengths of wire I used."

"Wait, I'm sorry," I apologised as I realised something, "I didn't get your name."

"Eh wha?" the professor replied eloquently, "Oh! Hubert J Farnsworth, of course."

"Wait! The man who invented the Dark Matter Distortion engine?" I asked excitedly.

"The very same," Farnsworth confirmed, proudly, "and I found your work on the Frame Shift Drive and Hyperspace most stimulating, we should find time to talk shop some day."

"Looking forward to it," I said with a smile, after I joined Earthforce I found I had a healthy interest in some of the more obscure technologies and sciences once commonly studied (while still theoretical) on Earth, my research led to not only a new form of FTL travel but the scaling down of one of Earthforce's signature weapons, the latter convincing the Omicronians that tangling with the Force was hazardous to their health. It isn't often I can find someone I can talk about my interests with.

A clock chimed somewhere, "oh my, it's getting late, I suppose you need to be off home."

"Actually, I don't have anywhere to go," I admitted, rubbing my neck, "I was hoping I could spend the night..."

"Of course," Farnsworth agreed, "I'll show you to the couch," he then set off slowly back to the stairs.


I ducked into the area that doubled as kitchen and conference room overlooking the hangar, drying my hair after taking a quick shower.

"Ah Fry, there you are," Farnsworth greeted, "crew, I want you to meet my uncle, Philip J Fry."

"Sorry I'm late, had to hit the shower," I apologised, then took in the faces, locking in on one instantly, "Hermes!"

"Sweet lion of Zion!" the Jamaican native exclaimed, jumping up, "Fry mon, you're here?"

"Got that transfer from Stranivar then?" I noted, embracing the man.

"Aye, and a promotion along wit it," Hermes said proudly, straightening his jacket.

I whistled, "up two levels? That can't from just my hard work."

"No, sadly you only got me promoted to level thirty seven, I earned the next while working here," Hermes told me.

"Fry, you know Hermes?" Farnsworth asked.

"He was the Bureaucrat in charge of the supply depot at Stranivar station in Proxima Centauri, every request and requisition I filed during my tour went through him," I explained.

"Filing enough to make any bureaucrat happy," Hermes announced.

"Well good, sit down and I'll introduce the others," I joined the table, between Hermes and Bender.

"This is Doctor Zoidberg..."

A Decapodian waved his claw, "Hello."

"There's Scruffy, the janitor..."

"Mornin'" the man greeted.

"And that is the Captain, Turanga Leela..."

I blinked as a familiar amethyst eye bored into me, "for what it's worth, I'm sorry I was an ass two years ago."

The alien in turn seemed surprised I'd actually apologised, "well, seeing as you apologised, I forgive you."

"What about me?" Bender asked, just strolling in with a cigar in his... what is the thing that functions as his mouth called anyway?

"You haven't apologised," Leela shot back.

"Eh."

"Do you two have jobs yet?" Leela asked.

"We just left the service last night, not like we've had time," Bender retorted, I noted the looks on Leela and Hermes faces.

"Unemployment is a Federal offense, isn't it?" I deadpanned, introducing my head to the table when they nodded.

"Actually, you may be in luck," Farnsworth said, "as luck would have it, there are a few openings I need to fill in the crew of my space ship."

"What happened to the old guys?" Bender asked.

"Two retired, one died," Leela replied... a little too quickly.

"What are the openings?" I asked.

"Navigator, Cargo Delivery Officer, Cargo Handler and Weapons Officer," Hermes listed, "technically we need a pilot but Leela's covered it so far."

"What's her job?" Bender asked.

"Captain," Leela replied.

"I'm qualified up to five kilotons," I told Hermes, "depending on control layout, if it's too funky i'll fall back on weapons officer."

"Fair enough," Hermes said, cutting Leela off, "if you'll follow me."


Five minutes later we're back.

"Well?" Leela asks, almost nonchalantly.

"Custom setup," I said, shaking my head, "I'm licensed on Alliance Standard controls."

"However, Fry has generously agreed to cover both the navigator and weapons operator posts," Hermes explained.

"And I am the new cargo handler," Bender announced.

Hermes nodded and made a note.

"Now, I need to check the mail slot so I'll leave you to your breakfast," Hermes said, then headed to the front of the building.

"So why'd you quit the cryo job?" I asked as I poured myself some cereal.

"I always wanted to," Leela said quietly, lost in thought a moment, "I didn't realise how much until I met you."

I took a moment to voice something that had bugged me, "what happened to those cops?"

"You hit one, officer URL, the robot, but barely scratched his paint, he then tripped getting into cover," Leela explained.

I let out a sigh of relief, that was a real weight off my conscience.

"Good News Everyone," Farnsworth announced, as Hermes returned, "we have a delivery."

"Someone dropped this package through the slot last night," Hermes stated.

"Looks more like a crate," Bender snarked.

"So you need to deliver it," Hermes continued, ignoring Bender.

"You can count on us," Leela said, standing up.

"Let me grab my jacket and I'll be ready," I said, washing down my last bite of caffeinated bacon with a glass of orange squash.


Five minutes later I'm walking over to the ship with my spare flight suit on.

Alliance issue flight suits have four parts that magnetically seal: boots, trousers, jacket and a helmet. Unlike the Doop counterpart they are fairly comfortable to wear on their own.

I'm wearing a white t-shirt under my jacket and just boxers and socks under the trousers, I'm leaving the helmet at home this time.

"So where we heading?" I asked, stepping up to Leela who is checking the manifest.

"Nowhere special," she says, bored, "just the moon."

"The... the Moon? The Moon, Moon?" I asked excitedly, "I'll get to walk in the footsteps of Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Pete Conrad and Alan Bean."

"Before you go, I'd like to introduce the last two members of my crew," Farnsworth said, walking over to us, two people with him.

"This is Amy Wong, an intern and one of my engineering students," he then leaned over to me and whispered, "I like to keep her around as she has the same blood type as me."

"Hi, it's nice to meet you," the pretty Chinese girl in the pink sweatsuit said.

"Philip Fry, What's up," I replied, looking round at a high pitched Eep from somewhere.

"Wait a minute, Amy Wong, of the Mars Wongs?" Leela asked.

Amy went all shy, "we're not as rich as others think."

"Uh huh," Leela didn't buy it and neither did I, "and what sorority were you?"

Amy didn't answer for a moment, "Kappa Kappa Wong."

I cocked an eyebrow at that, even I'd heard of that ultra exclusive Preppy sorority

"And this is Ari'el For'est, an Astro-Engineering student from Vox I'm tutoring," Farnsworth starts looking for the Voxxen in question as I frown, that names familiar, "come now, there's no need to be shy, dear."

A pair of black tipped ears poke out from behind Amy's shoulder, followed by honey coloured eyes.

A wave of familiarity hits me as the young Voxxen steps out, I haven't seen her since the Liberation.

"Hey kid, you're looking great," I smile, which causes her cheek fur to fluff out in a blush.

"You know each other?" Amy asks.

"Not exactly, I was leading one of the shore parties during the Liberation and we eventually came to an old mine that had been turned into a prison," I explained, "we weren't ready for what we found inside."

I gestured to the shy girl, "I found her in an old side tunnel, starved and with a broken leg, carried her out myself."

"I never thanked you for saving me, sir," Ari'el said softly, her voice flowing like honey, sorta like counsellor Troi's no I think about it.

"No need for the sir stuff, my tour's over so just call me Fry," I said with a warm smile, "and you're welcome."

She looked me in the eye and smiled, she's very cute for a fox like alien.

"Well, now we all know each other," Farnsworth interrupted, "you youngsters have a delivery to complete."

"Can we come Leela?" Amy asked, looking like an excited ten year old, helped by Ari'el pulling spectacular puppy eyes beside her.

So. Darn. Cute!

"Well, I guess so," Leela mused, "just be careful, I'd like to keep any major screw-ups until my second week as Captain."

I chuckled as the two raced up the stairs and into the ship.


I looked up from the nav console as Leela tilted the ship on the ramp for launch.

"New Berlin acknowledges our transit, transferring flight plan to your console," I reported, linking my console to hers.

"Confirmed," Leela acknowledged, "Thanks Fry, it's nice I won't get pulled over for traffic violations again."

"You've gone all this time without a navigator?" I asked, somewhat surprised.

"It's only Alliance and Earth space that really cares," Leela said, offhandedly.

"But we've been getting more local jobs lately," Amy filled in.

"We doing a countdown?" I asked.

"Huh?" Leela asked, nonplussed, "oh, sure."

I smiled, "Ten... Nine..." I barely felt the lurch.

"Ok, we're here," Leela announced.

"five, four, three, two, one, blast off," I said dejectedly under my breath as I saw the ship enter Lunar orbit.


"Come on, I want to see the moon," I called as I rushed out once we'd landed.

"What's the hurry? it's open..." I heard Leela call back but was down the corridor before she finished.

I stop at the bottom of the gangway, "That's one small step for Fry..."

"And a giant line for admission," some dude retorts.

I look round to see an amusement park, "Oh wow?" then I rush back inside.

I burst into the cockpit, "you guys, they landed an amusement park on the Moon!"

"Guh," Amy said, "it's the happiest place orbiting Earth."

"I thought that was the Low Orbital Club," Bender quipped as Amy and Ari'el blushed.

"Let's go, already," I said, turning back to the door to find Leela holding the manifest.

"Fry, we have a crate to deliver," Leela reminded me.

"So, lets drop it off then go," I suggested.

"Nah, too much work, let's toss it in a dumpster and say we delivered it," Bender countered.

"We're going to deliver the crate then go home," Leela decided.

"But I've never been to the Moon," I said dejectedly.

Either I looked more pitiful than I thought or Ari'el was pulling puppy eyes again, because she relented, "alright, we'll deliver the crate like professionals then go ride the bumper cars."

She rolled her eye as we celebrated, "Amy, why don't you help Fry unload the package," she then handed Amy the keys to the ship, "and lock up when you're done."

"Aye aye, Captain," she said, I mean, one eye. I mean, yes sir... eer, ma'am."

I chuckled as I followed Amy down to the hold, remembering when I stuttered like that.

"When we reach the hold, I collect the trolley and wait on the lift as Amy activates the overhead crane.

I bite my lip as Amy drops the magnet on her head.

She gets it together places the crate on the trolley before I set the lift going, I then sent the lift back up once I reached the ground and waited for Amy to run through the ship, lock up and then join me.

Soon enough the Chinese girl runs down the gangway and over to me.

"Ready?" I ask.

"Let's go!" Amy says excitedly.

Five minutes later we're entering the drop off point for supplies.

"Anyone in?" I called out.

"Yesziz," a semi-familiar voice called back.

We eventually reached the desk to find the guy who seemed to be the handyman for damn near everyone lazing around.

"Delivery, one crate," I read off, "sign here," I said, holding out the manifest.

"Sureziz," he says, leaning up to take the clipboard and signing off on the delivery.

"Thanks," I said, then turned to leave.


We caught up with the others on Moon Street USA, Bender fell out for a moment but caught up to us as we reached the souvenir stand.

"Who buys this junk?" Leela asked after a moment.

"Losers looking to get things for other losers," Bender shot back.

I noted Ari'el's face fall as she put back a mug, I nudged her and grabbed a fridge magnet.

"Say Bender, didn't you say you wanted a fridge magnet?" I said, planting one on the side of his head.

"What?" he then started scratching at his head, "Get it Off! Get It Off... uh oh!"

"How many roads must a man walk down," Bender sang, doing a slow dance, "before you can call him a ..." he then howled like a wolf and I yanked the magnet off.

He gasped for breathe, "Don't do that, magnet screw with my inhibitions module."

I shared a grin with Ari'el, No Way I wasn't using prime ammunition like that.

"So you flip out and start acting like some crazy folk singer?" I ask.

"Yeah," Bender says sadly, "I guess a robot would have to be crazy to wanna be a folk singer."

I follow the others to one of the rides called 'Whalers on the Moon'.

I have a bad feeling about this.


It's a few hours later when we're getting some Orlon Candy, the moon equivalent to cotton candy.

I sigh as we start heading to another of the rides.

"What's wrong Fry?" Leela asks.

"It's this place," I said, "it's fun and all, but... it's all fake. The air, the gravity, the gophers..." then I catch sight of a porthole, "that's what I came to see," I ran over and peered out, "I came to be out there, jumping around like an astronaut."

"But the phony stuff is what's fun," Leela argued, "it's boring out there."

"Yeah," Bender agreed, "you're the kind of guy that goes to Jerusalem and doesn't go to the Sexateria."

"The only time I go to Jerusalem is for the Sarajevo/Belgrade soccer match," I countered.

That got me some weird looks, "what?" Bender asked.

"Bender, of all robots I thought you'd be all over it," I admonished, "The Sarajevo/Belgrade soccer riots are Legendary."

Leela face palms as Bender stares like I just gave him the Holy Grail.

"When's the next... Hey!" Bender rubs his side from where Leela nudged him.

"I was going to go on the Lunar Rover ride, maybe Fry could join me?" Ari'el proposed, "you ride around in a rover in a spacesuit and the line's short because it's educational?"

I smiled warmly to her, "lead on."


The rover was rather small, far smaller than the real thing, and it was locked into a track like many such rides on Earth, but I wasn't fussed.

"Finally, some real Moon action," I said enthusiastically, earning a giggle from Ari'el.

The rover entered an airlock and the tannoy activated.

"The story of Lunar Exploration started with one man, a man with a Dream."

The airlock opened to a black and white kitchen with the full moon shining through a window.

As the rover moved forward, two animatronics activated.

"One of these days, Alice. Bang, Zoom, straight to the moon!" the man said, gesturing to his wife then the moon.

"Wow, were astronauts really that fat?" Ari'el asked me.

"No," I frowned, "that's a tv comedian using the moon as a metaphor for beating his wife. Real astronauts had tobe in the peak of physical fitness to work in space."

The rover continued though the exhibit.

"No One knows when, where or how Man first arrived on the Moon..."

"July 20th, 1969," I retorted, "Saturn V rocket to orbit then a three module orbiter that separated the landing module in orbit."

"But our 'Fun-gineers' think it went something like this."

I felt sick as more of those animatronics appeared and started belting out that stupid whalers song.

"This is wrong," I said, "this isn't how it happened."

"How do you know?" Ari'el asked quietly, "You don't have a fungineers degree."

"My dad taped the network broadcast of the landings," I told her, "I saw it over a hundred times as a kid."

"Screw this, I'm taking this out onto the real moon," I said, looking for a way to lever the rover off the track.

"You can't, Leela will be mad if we cause trouble," Ari'el argued, "besides, it's on a track."

"Not for much longer," I said, snatching one of the harpoons.

I toss it in front of the rover, the point digging in.

The rover runs over it and is lifted up for a moment, the harpoon starts to give and the rover leans to one side, I turn the steering (wheel?) so the rover turns and doesn't return to the track.

I accidentally drove over one of the animatronics as I directed the rover out of the ride.

Quickly we're out among the dunes and craters, Ari'el looks back nervously, then turns to me, "well, you're on the moon. We should turn back..."

"No," I exclaimed, "I want to explore, and I want to see if we can find the original landing sight."

"But it's been lost for centuries," Ari'el argues.

"Somewhere in the southeastern Sea of Tranquility," I replied.

Ari'el blinked, "how do you know that?"

"Wikipedia," I chuckled, then looked at her seriously, "best get a GPS fix so we can find our way back."

She looked at me like I was crazy, but complied, and started in fright, nearly sending us into a crater from nudging me, when Wikipedia actually loaded, after using the rover's own transceiver to get a GPS fix we started making our way towards the rough location of the landing site.

"Fry, are you sure this is right?" Ari'el asked me after half an hour, "it hasn't been updated in over a century."

"Should be close enough for us to be able to find it," I said, "it is an orbital photo after all. just don't lose that GPS fix."

"Ok," she sighed, the screamed in glee as I made another jump.


About an hour into the search, Ari'el's phone goes off.

"Hello?" she then stretches her arm out as someone shouts.

"Where the Hell are you two!"

I exchange a glance with Ari'el, guess big boots found out we went for a joyride, I keyed my helmet mike and synced it to Ari'el's, "er, we went for a detour."

"Why am I not surprised." Leela sighed, "first Bender gets arrested, then Amy loses the keys to the ship. Where are you?"

"On the far side of the sea of Tranquility," Ari'el said, then gasped as I nudged her after stopping the rover.

"How did you wind up... Fry stole one of the rovers from the ride, didn't he?" Leela deadpanned.

"We were looking for the Apollo 11 landing site," I explained as I started the rover again.

"Of all the dumb... wait! Were?" Leela asked bewildered.

"He just found it," Ari'el replied, then sent her a picture as we stopped next to the descent module.

"How did you know where to look?" Leela asked.

"Would you believe me if I said a twentieth century website?" Ari'el asked distractedly, taking in every little thing from the historic site.

And Pictures.

"Actually yes," Leela replied, "it's exactly the kind of dumb thing Fry would say and actually work by a fluke."

"Hey," I protested, glaring at the phone instead of comparing my footprint to Neil Armstrong or Buzz Aldrin's.

"Look, I hate to spoil your fun, but I need you to head back," Leela said, continuing after I whined, "look, you've made history today, but it would mean a lot if you could get back here."

Ari'el gave me puppy eyes, "ok, we'll head back, just give me five minutes."

"Ok, five minutes then head back," Leela agreed, then hung up.

"You've got those GPS coordinates, right?" Ari'el nodded, "can you send them to me?"

She sends me the coordinates for the landing sight, I memorise them then put in a call, "Hey Dick, how's things? ...That good, huh? ...listen, I'm on the moon and found the old Apollo 11 landing sight, I have the GPS coordinates and would appreciate if you could get them to the right people... No, I didn't do it alone, one of my new coworkers is with me... Planet Express, my many greats nephew's company, I'd appreciate if the company got the credit... Thanks Dick, you're a good Republican."

I hung up and noticed Ari'el staring at me, "what, I do have friends besides Bender."

"I'd be worried if you didn't," Ari'el said cheekily.

"Vixen," I retorted, making her cheeks fluff out again, "come on, lets head back.

"Uh oh," I didn't like the sound of that.

"What's wrong?"

"We don't have enough oxygen to make it back," Ari'el said nervously, bring up a holographic map that showed we'd run out several miles short.

"Anywhere we can stop off at?" I asked.

"One, a hydroponics farm."


We stopped outside the farm and ran into the airlock, waiting for it to cycle was the longest minute of my life.

Once inside we wrench our helmets off and take great gulps of fresh air.

The distinctive sound of a shotgun cocking makes me look up.

"Trespassers, eh?" the farmer says, staring down the iron sights at Ari'el.

"Sorry, but we were running low on oxygen," I explained to the man, "we needed to find shelter, between that and dusk."

"Eyup," the farmer agreed, cradling the gun on one arm, "that'd do it, especially as it hits one seventy below out here at night."

"Fahrenheit or Celsius?" I asked curiously.

"First one, then t'other," he answered.

"Any chance we could buy a cylinder or two or stay until our friends pick us up?" I asked.

"Well, I guess ya'll could stay a spell until yer friends git here, but ya'l be doin chores ta earn yer keep," the farmer mused.

"Just don't be a-touching mah beautiful robot daughters, 'kay?" the farmer threatened.

"Robot daughters?" a glance showed Ari'el was just as surprised.

"This here is Lulabelle-7,"one robot in a pink dress with pigtails waved.

"This is Daisy-Mae 128-K," another robot in a flannel shirt and daisy dukes waved.

"And this here is the Crushinator."

I gulped as the pink robot that resembled a tank rolled up, "no offence to yal, but I prefer my girls to be organic, soft and squidgy," I said unthinkingly.

"None taken, sugar," Daisy-Mae replied, "everyone has their type."

As we headed to the barn as directed, I turned to Ari'el, "mind calling Leela?"


I scowled as I milked the buggalo in front of me, Leela had given me a reaming captain Bligh would be proud of.

Stupid Xeno grew up in this time, the Moon has always been a stone's throw away for her, there was nothing special about it.

But for me it was the Dream of a Lifetime. In a time ravaged by ideological politics, economic crises, proxy wars and the greatest armed stand off in history, the Moon Landings were something apart from all that.

Proof that Humanity could rise above the petty concerns of politicians and corporations and achieve something pure and wonderful, proof Humanity could move forwards in spite of terrestrial concerns.

She doesn't care about truth or History, doesn't understand that the Moon was a symbol in my time and that it still is to me.

I feel Ari'el step behind me when a gunshot rings out.

"What the Deuce!" I shout as I suddenly find myself on the floor with my arms full of frightened Voxxen.

We both look up in time to see Bender run out of the farmhouse, followed by the farmer, "I'll teach you ta sleep with mah robot daughters!"

As the farmer reloaded, Bender ducked into the barn, closing the glass doors, "He'll never find me in here."

My brain slipped a gear as it tried to reconcile Bender hiding behind a SEE THROUGH door.

"Bender?" Ari'el asked as she climbed off me.

"Oh Bender," I groaned, "you didn't touch the Crushanator?"

"Of course not!" Bender said indignantly, "a lady that fine you've gotta romance first."

A gunshot shattered the doors, made Bender ass ring, and me and Ari'el run for cover.

We grabbed our helmets and ran for a nearby rover with the Confederate battle flag on the front, Ari'el threw me an oxygen cylinder and hooked up our suits as I drove to the main airlock.

The farm is nearly out of sight when a shot flies overhead, I look back to see the farmer and two daughters chasing us in a reconfigured third daughter.

She had to be a rebuilt tank.

I looked forward just in time to swerve round a crater, only to be met by a crater the size of a mountain, I pulled a hard turn left to avoid crashing into it.

We were driving down a gully and another shot had missed as Ari'el yelped.

An arch over the gully.

"It's too low!" she cried.

"Hang on," I said firmly.

"Hang on..."

"Hang on..."

"Jump!"

The three of us pushed off and soared over the arch, coming back down into the rover.

A crunch behind me told me the Crushanator wasn't stopping.

I steeled myself as we ran straight for a ravine, quickly I turned towards a lip on the cliff edge, "Hold onto your Helmets!"

The others screamed as the rover went airborne, I stupidly looked down and jerked my head back on seeing crocodiles in helmets leap up in an effort to snatch us.

I can't describe the feeling as we landed, nearly cheering when the rear left axle hub broke and the wheel fell off.

As we got out, I saw the Chrushanator stop on the other side of the ravine, "come on, lets go," I said to the others.

Ari'el pointed us in the right direction and we set off.


After about twenty minutes Bender called out, "Hey Look!"

I looked back and gulped, "nightfall's coming!"

the moment the sunlight faded it felt like I'd stepped into a freezer.

"Come on, before we freeze!" I shouted and set off as fast as I could.

"What do you mean 'We' mammal?" Bender asked.

We spent the next ten minutes trying to outrun the sunset, eventually having to stop for rest.

"We can't outrun it forever," I said as we rested, then I felt Ari'el move beside me.

"Look, there!" I looked where she was pointing and saw a familiar dome like shape sticking up out of a shallow crater.

"An LK?" I asked incredulously, I shook my head as she looked at me, "Never mind, get to it!"

We bounded over as fast as we could, Bender slouching along behind us.

On reaching the Soviet lander I noted it was a little larger than the one I saw in pictures back in the nineties, Ari'el got the hatch open and climbed in, I found myself taking a moment to admire her rather curvaceous behind before shaking myself out of it and following her in.

It was a tight fit so I closed the hatch, forgetting Bender was outside.

"Oh? No room for Bender, huh?" I heard after a moment, "Fine, I'll go build my own Lunar Lander. With Blackjack, and hookerbots... In fact, forget the blackjack and the lander."

I rolled my eyes and settled back into one of the seats next to a window.

I don't know how long we sat in silence for, it was kind of nice actually.

"Fry?"

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Why is the Moon so special to you but not the others?" I looked at the shy Voxxen in surprise.

"Well," I though of how to answer, "the first thing to understand is that in my time the world was a very different place. Politics, Nationalism, proxy wars, resource crises... the Earth wasn't the utopia it is now. Hell, for most of my life the world was in a nuclear standoff that could go hot at any second."

I sat upright and looked at her, "everyday the news was full of tragedy, fighting breaks out here, an epidemic there and the latest round in the constant pissing match between the two largest political blocs in the world. It may have been that pissing match that put man in space, but it didn't create the dream of going there. For all my life, the Moon Landing was a symbol, a symbol that Mankind could rise above everything that pulled us down and achieve something greater. It was something good and pure in the crapsack world I lived in."

"When I was frozen, only twelve men had stepped onto the moon," I told her as I looked out onto the surface, "twelve men who got out here by basically strapping themselves to a rocket, interplanetary travel is nothing special now, but back then fewer than a hundred men had had the same privilege, fewer had actually been to a world beyond our own. Ever since I was little I wanted to join that elite group but I wasn't up to snuff."

I shook my head and sighed, "it's just a dream really, a dream that died with the old world."

"Fry, look!" I looked up to see Ari'el staring out the view port, I climbed up next to her and smiled.

There, far below us, was the Earth, and as we watched the darkness receded to show the beautiful blue and green marble so few had seen before.

Then light shining off something metal brought my sight down, "uh oh."

"Is that Bender?"

I banged my head against the hull, "For all that tin can claims robots lack hormones he sure acts like a high school horndog."

I looked up just in time to see the farmer crest the ridge atop what looked like a combine harvester.

"We're boned," I said, "Wait, what's that?"

"It's the Planet Express ship!" Ari'el jumped up and down in glee as the familiar green ship appeared, "we're saved!"

"Wait for it," I said, my grin growing as the magnet closed in on Bender, "Wait for it..."

"Gotcha!"

We watched as Bender started dancing on the bottom of the magnet while the ship flew closer, then turned to wave a fist at the ship, then went back to singing.

There was an almighty clang , then the lander was pulled off the surface.

As the ship started to reel us in over the muffled sound of Bender's singing, Ari'el looked at me, "so Fry, was the moon anything like you imagined."

I smiled at her, "Close enough."