Chapter 5

A/N: I know this is from season 3, but it is a fixed date, in fact the date is shown in episode, and I watched a rerun on Sky 1 last week. Enjoy!


This is officially the coolest day of my life.

The Professor has taken those of us in today all out to see a Supernova.

Leela, the professor and Bender are on the couch, Zoidberg is lounging against the back of my console while Ari'el and I are sharing an armchair pilfered from the professors quarters.

"I've never seen a supernova before," I said out loud, "but if it's anything like my old Chevy Nova, it'll light up the sky."

"Yeah, anyone who misses this will regret it the rest of their lives," Bender agreed, "hey Fry, mind making us some popcorn?"

"Sure," I get up and head to the ladder to get to the galley on the deck below, as I descend I note Ari'el is staring daggers at Bender.

Once in the galley I grab a pan of Iffy Pop popcorn and turn on the microwave, "come on microwave, I'm in a hurry..."

I see there's a warning label, I tear it off and put it in anyway.

The pan fizzles inside the microwave and after a second I notice a strange smell and odd blue light.

"What smells like Blue?" I ask aloud and glance at the microwave, I gulp and pull the plug as I notice the mass of glowing blue metal, on turning around I notice the blue glow is spreading.

I'm out the galley and up the ladder, as I reach the top I hear the guys babbling.

"What freaky thing happening are you guys..." I see a wall of red light about to touch a wall of blue light.

"Ah Crud."


After the flash I get the sensation of being flushed down a toilet before the inertial dampeners kick in.

I look up to see we're in a vortex, sorta like the intro to Doctor Who.

I try to make my way to the others but roll back into my console when the ship lurches, a moment later Ari'el lands on me, we hold onto each other for dear life.

Eventually the shaking stops and the ship returns to normal space.

"My head is spinning," Zoidberg complains.

Mine starts spinning as a clock falls off my console onto my nut.

"I don't know what happened but we've taken on a lot of clocks," Leela said, gesturing to a blurry pile that seems to be ticking.

"Let's just go home," I said as darkness threatened to claim me.

"Good idea," I just make out Ari'el leaning over me as I black out.


"What hit me?" I groan as I come too.

"A clock," Ari'el's honey tones say to my left, a second later another set of arms help her stand me up.

My vision returns just as we pass Mars, "Fry, get to your station!" I salute as Earth starts to come into view.

I run the basic battery of tests on my console but all returns come up negative.

"I'm not getting a global positioning signal," Leela announced.

I shook my head, "I got nothing from New Berlin. Not reading anything in orbit either."

"Nothing?" Farnsworth asks.

"Not even space junk," I confirmed.

"That's odd," Leela notes, "there's never this little traffic."

"And what's this layer of Ozone doing here, it's never been there before?" Farnsworth added.

"The ozone layer was an extra layer to Earth's atmosphere but It got worn away by late twentieth century poll..." I share a look with Ari'el.

Her tail flicks nervously, "you don't think..."

I nod slowly, "I flamingoed up."

"Huh?" Dear God she looks so cute with that confused look.

"It's like a cock-up but much, much bigger," I explained.

We come back to the others as Zoidberg complains about the alarms.

"Navigation's Failing!" Leela cried.

"We're going to crash!" Ari'el squeaked and curled up in my lap.

"Not if I can help it..."

And the failsafe cuts in.

"Oh," Leela says lamely as the engines die, "I guess we are. Strap yourselves in."

I get Ari'el to join the professor and Zoidberg on the couch as I strap in at my console, Bender just stands there as Leela straps in.

"Those things cost more lives than they save," he dismisses.

My vision fades. There's a loud BANG. A Smash. And a fading scream.

My sight returns to a hole in the windscreen and no Bender.

"There goes his no claims bonus," I note.


After about ten minutes we find Bender in pieces. A lot of pieces.

The biggest bits are his head and his ass, I pick up the former.

"Bender, are you alright?" I ask, he might be the biggest jerk I've ever met (beating even Brannigan) he's still my friend.

The head coughs then the visor over his eyes goes up, "I dunno, I'll try to move my feet."

A foot ten feet away wiggles. Never figured out how bending units do that.

"Alright, here's the plan," Leela says, "Zoidberg, pick up the pieces, everyone else take five."

"See you later, lobster," I say to Zoidberg.


The following morning I enter the bridge to find the professor, Bender and Ari'el sitting around a pin-up calendar.

"Remarkable! According the high-precision digital chronograph it's July 9th, 1947," Farnsworth stated, "which would explain why the chronograph has turned into this pin-up calendar."

You know, that calendar looks familiar...

"Wait a second!" Bender's head interrupted, "Are you saying we travelled through Time?"

"Doy!" The professor replied, "some idiot must have put metal in the microwave."

"Yo!" I said, holding up my hand.

"The microwave radiation, combined with the gravitons and graviolis from the supernova, blasted us through time itself," the professor finished.

"Wow," Ari'el said softly, then turned to me, "when you screw up, you really screw up!"

"No half measures here," I say cheerily.

Leela bursts in, "have you seen today's news?" she slams a paper down on the console.

"High School Gym Renovations On Schedule?" Bender reads from the bottom of the page, "What a load!"

"Now, over here!" Lela says, pointing higher on the page, I read...

"Flying Saucer Captured?"

"That's no flying saucer, that's my ass!" Bender protests as he glares at the picture of a soldier making Bender moon the world.

"Then that means..." I gulped as I faced the others, "the flying saucer that crashed at Roswell..."

"Was us!" Ari'el finished, hugging me tight and making me drop Bender so I could comfort her.

The professor ignored Bender and added, "and the alien they captured was... Zoidberg."


Ari'el and I are looking over the Professor's shoulder as he runs a scan.

"We tore the universe a new space hole alright," He announces, "but it's clenching shut fast. Our only hope to return to our own time is to go through it in, oh, say..." he looks at his watch, "Exactly twenty four hours."

Leela blowtorches part of the console, then shuts off the torch, "well, The ship's fixed except for the cup holder and I should have that operational within 10 hours."

"You've got eight," Farnsworth countered, "now our only major concern is the microwave. Without a working one we have no hope of returning to the future. "

Leela looked at us thoughtfully, "Well, I'm sure we can buy a microwave somewhere around here," She turns to me, "Meanwhile, you guys sneak onto the army base and rescue Bender's body."

"No problem," I tell her, "Hey, and while we're on the base, I'll visit my grandfather, Enos. He was stationed at Roswell."

Farnsworth jumped up in surprise, "Your grandfather? Stay away from him, you dim-witted monkey. You mustn't interfere with the past. Don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to do it. In which case, for the love of God, don't not do it!"

"Got it!" though I really don't.

"If, for example, you killed your grandfather then you'd cease to exist," Farnsworth added.

I pale at the implications, but? "But if I don't exist how will I kil... oh, that's one of those Universe breaking things, right."

"Yes, wait? If you cease to exist, then I'll cease to exist... and then there wouldn't have been anyone to cause the accident because I didn't bring you along..." I stop him rambling.

"Stop talking about breaking causality," I told him.

"What about me?" Ari'el asks, her tail flicking nervously.

"Well, there is a holo-necklace in the girls shower," I mused, "you could tag along with Leela and the Professor."

"And how do you know what's in the girls shower?" Leela asked suspiciously.

"I lost the toss again this month so I have to clean it," I told her, then I remembered something, "oh, modern microwaves don't exist yet, but their predecessors are called a Radarange and are very expensive, also, kinda big."

"Thanks for that," Leela said, "I'd hate to go into town and get the wrong product."

"Don't mention it," I then duck out to find something I could scotch a WWII uniform from.


Getting onto the base was ridiculously stupid. Finding my way around?

That's a work in progress.

"ENOS!"

I looked to my left and gasped, there was my grandfather, complete with his min Fry hairdo getting yelled at by the sergeant.

The sergeant walks away and my grandfather walked over to one of the billets.

"I start to follow him and glance around as I approach the road, my gut drops as I spot a jeep heading towards us.

'Oh Shit! He'll Be Killed!' I thought, I sprinted forward and tackled him off the road, however a glance back showed the jeep had slowed and turned off the road.

"Sorry bout that, I saw the jeep and thought you'd be killed," I said, then flinched as I saw what I'd knocked him into.

"I did?" Enos asked, "Golly! Then I sure am lucky you knocked me onto this pile of rusty bayonets!"

Bender whispered to me, "Pst! Fry! Stop interfering with history. I don't wanna have to memorise a lot of new kings when I get back."

"I'd like to see you hold back if you saw yourself nearly get deleted before you were made," I retorted, the shudder told me he had a similar reaction.

"Well, thanks, soldier. I'm off to make Sarge's lunch! Handling raw chicken, best part of the job!" grandpa said, then licked his fingers, "Mmm! Finger-licking good!"

"Mind if I tag along for a bit? I'm new here," I asked.

"Sure thing, follow me," I stuff Bender into a kit bag lying around and follow grandpa.


"Ya sure are helpful, stranger," Enos complimented as we walked through town, he stops outside a shop called Joe's Malts, "I'm kinda hungry, let's stop in for a malt."

Inside it's a typical fifties diner, we settle into a booth and I hold out my hand, "forgot to mention, names Phil Fry."

"Gadzooks!" He says, shaking my hand excitedly, "nice to meet ya, Phil. Are we related?"

I laugh as I pick up a menu, "if wee are, the family connection isn't there yet. So, any recommendations?"

"Shepherd's Pie is good, the apple pie too," Enos says, there's a silence... "ya see that waitress?"

I looked at him, then where he was looking, I whistled as I took in the tasty brunette, "lookin' fer dessert?"

"That's mah fiancée, Mildred" my eyes bug out, grandma was one hot crumpet back in the day.

Good thing I like vixens.

"Can I take your order?" grandma asks, damn can she walk the walk!

"Shepherd's pie and a coffee, milk and two sugars?" I asked, I looked up just in time to see a gorgeous redhead walk in.

A redhead with honey coloured eyes!

I'm not the only one watching as Ari'el walks over, taking Mildred's place "Hello Fry, can I join you?"

"Sure," I dump Bender on the floor and scoot up to the window as Ari'el sits down next to me, "Enos, this is Ariel Forrest, she's an engineering student that works for my nephew."

"Well Golly! Nice to met ya, miss Ariel, I'm Enos Fry," grandpa said, holding out his hand, he turns to me after Ari'el shakes it, "but ain't you a little young to have a nephew? Ya can't be twenty years old?"

"My brother is quite a bit older than me," I told him, "over a decade actually and Hubert was born when his parents were young."

Not a lie... I wonder if this is how Bender feels when he twists the truth? Handy skill though.

A flash in the corner of my eye makes me jump, my knee knocks the table and the steak knife slides of and lands inches from grandpa's crotch.

"Bloody..." I freeze as my mind comprehends just how close that was, "you nearly got gelded!"

Ari'el looks at me as Enos shrugs, "hell, it ain't nearly as bad as gettin' killed."

"Some of us would prefer to die male," I told him, my voice tight.

Just then Mildred returns with our food.

"Hey Ariel, would you mind taking my bag back with you?" I asked, nudging Bender over to her, "something tells me the sarge won't think kindly of my science project."

"Sure," and with that she scoops up Bender and heads back out, stopping at the door to look at me over her shoulder. She gives me a smile and steps out. It takes me a full minute to realise I'm staring.

"Seems havin' an eye fer the ladies runs in the family," Enos observed.

I smile sheepishly and dig in to my meal.

About an hour later we're heading back, grandpa has insisted on taking me the long way round.

"You sure it's ok to head this way?" I can't shake the feeling I'm forgetting something.

There's a massive flash behind us and before I can turn something heavy hits my head.


I jerk awake as something slaps me.

"Quit it, I'm awake!" I protest and try to lean up, falling back into the impossibly soft pillows as my head swims.

"You're awake? Thank God!" Leela says from my left.

"When you didn't show up at the base or back home we got worried," I opened my eyes to find two redheads smiling at me from the right.

"Grandpa decided to cut through an old bombing range, he said it was abandoned," I replied, looking round I saw Ari'el on my right, Leela on my left and the professor next to Leela.

"Actually they were worried you might have become your own grandfather," a green kitbag said.

A glance shows Leela and the professor glaring, and kicking in the former's case, at said bag.

I look to Ari'el and she answers my question, "they were in the diner when your grandma got a call that your grandpa had been caught on the edge of a nuclear blast, they went to her place and found her and someone with hair like yours..."

"Ruttin like bunnies in mating season!" this time there was a distinctive bang from the bag.

"Turns out only you got put in hospital," Ari'el finished.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," I said to Leela and the professor, my voice dripping with sarcasm, "did you have any luck?"

The professor shook his head, "alas, no."

"The microwaves available just aren't advanced enough," Leela added.

"Can you convert a radar dish?" I asked.

"What, We can't change History!" Farnsworth protested.

"I'm risking killing my grandfather just being here, besides, we can't hide Leela and Ari forever, they'll end up like Dr Zoidberg," I pointed out.

The others exchange a look, "I'm sorry."

"So you're just going to roll over and let Wernstrom take the Academy prize again?" I demanded, "you're going to let History get in the way of putting that arse in his place?"

"Screw History!" Farnsworth shouts, jumping up, "Let's get the hell out of here already!"


Luckily for me there is an anti-concussion pill in the med cabinet on the ship.

We're flying over the base, I'm lighting up everything I can with the ADG (Asteroid Defence Gun) and I trigger the number 1 torpedo tube as we approach the fuel depot.

The torpedo flies true and sends the depot up in a blaze of glory Hollywood will probably spend fifty years trying to replicate.

Leela flies us through the base, weaving between buildings and telephone poles before knocking over a water tower as she lines up on the radar dish.

She not only snags the dish but rips off the roof of the hut, revealing that asshat sergeant eating lunch on a toilet bowl.

I switch on the internal comm as Leela hovers over the lad Zoidberg's in, I smile as Ariel picks up, "go get 'em, girl."

"They won't know what hit them," she replies, waving the laser rifle from the ship's munitions locker.

I turn my attention to a Pershing tank that rolls out from a hangar, I track it and put a shot through the gun barrel.

The commander stares in horror as the barrel goes limp and bails out with his buddies following him.

I check the radar and see Leela and the others coming back, so I shut down the turret and head for the hold.

I get there just as Leela pulls a crazy barnstorming stunt that those fighter jocks will be swooning over, nearly sending me out the still open cargo hatch.

"We did It!" Leela announces over the comm.

"Choke on that, causality!" Farnsworth adds.

I look down beside Bender at the fast descending town.

"1947 can bite my shiny, metal aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." a bump sends Bender tumbling out of the ship and back to Earth, screaming like a little girl all the way.

"Turn around! We've gotta go back!" I panicked as the hatch shut.

"We can't!" The professor refused, "The timehole is clenching shut, if we don't leave now, we'll never make it back!" He pulls a lever which makes the radar dish shoot blue light at a popcorn pan, engulfing the ship in blue light.

"Bender!" I shout before the ship enters the vortex.


A few hours later, we're all back in the Planet Express building, Zoidberg is sticking himself back together with duct tape.

"There! Good as new!" Zoidberg says as he finishes.

"Don't you need this one?" Leela asks and holds up an organ.

Zoidberg gasps, "Oh, no! That's my..." He gags, chokes and keels over. He gets back up again, smiling, "Gotcha!"

Leela isn't not impressed and tosses the organ over her shoulder.

I'm feeling terrible about abandoning my friend, Ari'el is giving me a hug, "Oh, poor Bender. He must be so lonely right now, trapped a thousand years in the past. Hey! Wait a second!"


The ship touched down in present day New Mexico outside the ruins of the Roswell airbase and we spend the next few hours searching.

I'm searching the area with a metal detector when I hit a contact, I check my surroundings to make sure I'm not In the old minefield.

"Want me to check?" Leela asks, I nod.

Leela slams her spade into the ground and it hits something metal.

"Ow! Stupid junk!" a muffled voice mutters.

"He's alive!" I exclaim, I'd know that voice anywhere. Leela and Farnsworth cheer.

Leela digs and pulls Bender's head from the ground.

"Bender, what was it like lying in that hole for a thousand years?" I ask him.

"I was enjoying it until you guys showed up," he complains

Farnsworth looks over us serenely, "Well, now everything is back as it was. And if history doesn't care that we wrecked Roswell, then who cares?"

Leela rejoins Bender's head with his body, which is still shaped like a spaceship.

"Amen!" Bender says as his new body lifts off and follows us back to the ship.