Deadpool… boredom creates comedy!
Part 2
Previously on Lost…. Jack and Kate get funky in the hatch's shower. John Locke teaches a Polar Bear how deal with being in a wheelchair. Charlie catches up on the latest news from middle earth. And Hurley says "DUDE"!
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Wait…. Sorry I forgot Lost is off the air. I created Lost you know… I just use the Alias J. J. Abrams when I go Undercovers when doing a Mission: Impossible 3 in a Felicity on the Fringe of the Armageddon whilst enjoying a Joy Ride when I've Gone Fishin' after I've been to a Star Trek convention and I film it all on my Super 8 camera. (I hope you enjoy those in jokes of TV shows and Films J .J. Abrams has worked on because it took f*#king hours on Wikipedia getting all the names and then being able to put in a sentence that made a remote bit of sense… well at least more sense than Lost I don't even know what is going on that island.)
O.K. enough with my little rant, what I meant to say was….
Previously on Deadpool… boredom creates comedy! I (Deadpool) was sitting at home and realised that I hadn't charged my cell phone in five months and then it turns out that I have over 5000 new messages and then Tobey Maguire called and now I'm off to play poker with the other heroes!
As I stood there in my best ass showing spandex tights waiting for the elevator to come down to the bottom floor of the Baxter Building a figure appeared from the shadows in the manner you might see Stan Lee appear in a Marvel Movie cameo… But this was no Stan Lee it was instead GAVIN HOOD! The director of X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
"YOU! SON! OF! A! BITCH!" I roared in my best scary voice.
"I'm sorry? Do I know you?" Gavin Hood replied in his stupid South African accent.
"You destroyed my first time on the big screen and you don't remember!"
"No."
I took out one of my swords. "You left me a merc without a mouth you f*#k!" I then chopped off his head from his body. Then the doors opened to the elevator and there was Stan Lee as the Left Operator in his cameo. His jaw must have dropped because it was me in all my awesomeness… like I'm sure it wasn't because he just saw me kill Gavin Hood.
"Yo.. You… going up?" Stan said in a very timid voice.
"Why yes… Top floor to Reed Richards please true believer."
Stan looked down at the decapitated Gavin Hood. "They don't pay me enough for these cameos anymore."
Stan took me to the top floor in complete silence. When I got there Reed greeted me personally because I'm the new celebrity in the Marvel World.
"Who the hell invited you!" Reed asked me with a slight look of worry on his face.
"Tobey did." I replied
"Who's Tobey?" Reed asked me.
"Sorry I mean Spider-Man."
"No I didn't!" Tobey called from the next room.
"Anyway, how have you not seen one those movies yet Ioan Gruffudd."
"What are you talking about?" Reed asked now with some serious confusion on his face.
"You don't even know who played you in your own movie! God man I thought you were meant to be a scientist."
"Whatever just go find a seat at the table." Reed stretches his arm the whole way to the table for me to follow.
When I got to the table there was already a few heroes around a large dining table. There was Tobey, The Thing, Hugh Jackman, Robert Downey Jr., Dr. Strange. And I didn't know who Chris Evans was being because both The Human Torch and Captain America where there. There was also Cyclops, Beast and Thor. And just so we are clear since the Chris Evans twins where there I thought it would be better if I didn't call anyone by their actor names because I was beginning to think that I should call Tobey after that ginger cat Andrew Garfield.
"What are doing here bub?" Logan asked with his cat claws ready to scratch my best tights a new one.
"To play poker. Plus Tobe… Garfie…. *sigh* … Spidey invited me."
"NO I DIDN'T!" Spidey shouted with all the other heroes giving him the evil eyes.
"Why do you have a problem with me and not Strange?" I asked innocently.
"Why should they have any kind of problem with me?" Inquired Strange.
"Because I know you are somehow related to the villain Hugo Strange from DC's Batman! And don't deny it I have nerds on the internet looking into it!" I said pointing to Strange.
There was a moment are two of silence.
"You really are crazy aren't you?" Remarks Ironman.
Next time on Deadpool… boredom creates comedy! The poker night shall begin!
