Part 6

He told her that he never loved Mellie; that their marriage had been purely for show. Marrying Mellie had been a part of his father's great master plan to place him on the political roster. A man without a wife or family was never elected to office; American citizens didn't relate, they didn't trust a single man. So therefore Fitz married Mellie. Their families had known each other for years, and as kids they attended the same school, and then later on the same college. They had grown as friends over that time; so when it came to choosing a wife she seemed the ideal candidate. And like his father, Mellie dreamed of a role in politics and was incredibly driven. If she was a man, she's probably would have ran for State Governor herself.

And for the first couple of years things were good. When Mellie gave birth to their first child, she had made him the happiest man in the world. Becoming a father meant everything to him, and when his daughter followed a year and a half later, he felt well and truly blessed. Mellie however had never been the maternal type, but in order to give Fitz the family he wanted, she knew she had to make necessary sacrifices. And as far as she was concerned she had fulfilled her part of the deal, and therefore demanded that Fitz keep to his end of it; by running for State Governor. She wanted to be first lady one day, and she honestly believed that Fitz had the makings of a fine president. But in order for that to happen, she first had to tailor his image to suit that of the American people and Office. She was relentless, and worked tirelessly in getting her husband involved in as many political organisations and charity events as possible, and thus successfully making him a well-known figure in the public eye. But Fitz was only interested in the charity aspect of it; giving back to the community and helping others- that was where his true strength lied; whereas running for State Governor was just something he had promised to pursue for Mellie and his father's sake- he didn't necessarily want it for himself.

It was fair to say that Fitz had spent the majority of his life trying to please others, and it wasn't until he met Olivia, that he came to the decision that life should also be about pleasing ones self. And nothing pleased him more, than having Olivia in his arms, holding her, kissing her and stealing a few precious moments… He needed to be with her, even if it meant giving up everything. However, what he wanted with Liv would be classed as taboo in the eyes of others. Leaving his wife, would be seen as immoral- he might as well kiss his political campaign goodbye. But to leave his wife, a white woman for a black woman, that was unheard of in this country, and he suspected extremely dangerous, especially for Olivia; once the cat was let out of the proverbial bag. America was not ready to accept interracial couples, let alone one that had sprung from the act of adultery; because that was what he was doing; he was actively cheating on his wife, physically as well as emotionally. And although he and Olivia had refrained from being intimate with one another- knowing that once they went there, there was no turning back- both of them knew that they were only prolonging the inevitable. Their desire to be together and to consummate their love, was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. At first they had been scared to say the words aloud, but they knew that what they felt for each other went beyond the realms of lust and need.

They had fallen hard and fast.

Olivia had tried her best to fight it. Although she couldn't deny her attraction to Fitz, she was wracked with guilt every time they came together. She believed in the sanctity of marriage, and even with the knowledge that Fitz never loved Mellie- that didn't make what they were doing any easier. If her own father knew what she was getting herself into, he would be disgusted and would probably do what she couldn't do; bring an end to it immediately. She couldn't tell anyone what was happening, it was far too risky; but by having to keep her affair with Fitz a secret and having no-one to confine in, also meant that when she wasn't with him, she was left to face her guilt and fears entirely alone. And it was beginning to take a toll on her. Even at work; she was finding it extremely hard to stay focused, and had been caught making amateur mistakes; all because her judgement was off.

Quinn and Abby had noticed it too, and had questioned her about it. But she remained silent and told them nothing, shutting them out.

She loved Fitz, but was love really enough? How could be it, when their future was so uncertain?

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She watches on, as Fitz sees Quinn and Abby out the door. "Night Ladies, see you tomorrow."

As soon as the coast is clear, she plans on having it out with him, because quite frankly she can't carry on like this. This affair was slowly eating away at her.

After locking the door and drawing the shutters, he hurries back over to her, desperate to hold her. But when she shies away from all of his advances, he halts his efforts and takes a long hard look at her. He doesn't fail to notice the tears presently filling her eyes… "Livvie, what's going on?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore Fitz…" She admits brokenly… "I thought I could, because I genuinely believed we had something, but now- I'm not so sure?"

"But I don't understand, where is this all coming from?" He looks at her perplexed, wondering what could have brought this on. They were fine yesterday, and yet here she was talking about ending it.

"It's coming from the fact that I can barely look at myself in the mirror these days, and when I do I don't even recognise the person staring back at me… An adulterer, a liar… that's not who I'm supposed to be… I'm not me any more; I've changed, and I'm not the only one that has noticed it… Quinn and Abby see it too, in fact they won't drop the matter, despite how hard I try to convince them otherwise, and at this rate it will only be a matter of time before others realise it too!"

"Liv, I've told you, as soon as you give me the go ahead, I'll leave Mellie, its as simple as that…"

"And then what? We'll run off into the sunset, and live happily ever after… Is that it? What about your career, what and your kids?"

"I know it won't be easy Liv, but I'm ready for the fight; just as long as I have you with beside me, that's all that matters".

"But what if I don't want to fight. What if I want to walk down the street, hand in hand with the man I love and not be cursed or judged, for loving someone who is different from me; or for loving a man, who in the eyes of the God belongs to someone else? How can any happiness come from that?"

He strokes her cheek, wiping away the evidence of her distress… "My sweet baby, don't you know that happiness stems from love? And I love you Liv, and I know you love me too. I just need you to have a little faith, and believe, as I do- that our love will guide us through. I was a coward when I settled for Mellie- but I refuse to be that man anymore… The man too afraid to make his own choices in life, and live his own dreams. I will not turn away from happiness, especially when it's clear to me that it's wrapped up in you."

"I'm so scared Fitz…" she confesses, "I'm scared that what the future holds for us, is nothing but hurt and pain".

"I know, and I'm scared too… but having you beside me is all the courage I need. All I ask is that you'll let be the same for you? Can you do that baby?"

She nods her head in acquiesce, "Yes, yes I can."

"Come here…"

This time she welcomes his embrace, burying her head it in the crook of his neck, and squeezes him ever so tightly. And as she softly whispers she loves him; regardless of what lies ahead, he knows with all certainty- that he's exactly where he's supposed to be.