Deadpool… boredom creates comedy!

Part 3

Previously on Deadpool… boredom creates comedy! I Deadpool have arrived at the Baxter Building to play poker with the other heroes. And if you didn't know that already same on you… go back and read the previous 2 chapters it can't be that hard to read them now can it. They are only 1,642 words long together which is like 2 A4 pieces of paper. I feel as if the author a certain PJ-Harper doesn't care for me that much because his batman Fanfic which is only on its first chapter is 3,235 which is about twice as long as my 2 put together. I feel so unloved… but I have to admit it is pretty damn good check it out after you read this if you haven't seen it already. Ok any way here is the last several paragraphs of the last chapter (Which have been fixed since there was a mistake or two) to help catch you up on the story so far. Enjoy.

"What are doing here bub?" Logan asked with his cat claws ready to scratch my best tights a new one.

"To play poker. Plus Tobe… Garfie…. *sigh* … Spidey invited me."

"NO I DIDN'T!" Spidey shouted with all the other heroes giving him the evil eyes.

"Why do you have a problem with me and not Strange?" I asked innocently.

"Why should they have any kind of problem with me?" Strange inquired.

"Because I know you are somehow related to the villain Hugo Strange from DC's Batman! And don't deny it I have nerds on the internet looking into it!" I said pointing to Strange.

There was a moment are two of silence.

"You really are crazy aren't you?" Ironman remarked.

"Well I'm not technically because I am the only one here who knows I'm a fictional character." I replied.

"What the f*#k are you talking about!" Wolverine yelled at me.

"Never mind…" I replied hanging my head. There was no point in me trying to explain to him because we could be here for hours. Trust me the first draft of this chapter was like that. It was about 1,039,752 words long before I was able to explain and all the heroes realised I wasn't crazy. So we scrapped that idea and trust me it was for the best.

"For the love of God can we just start this damn poker night?" The Thing asked in quite a scary voice.

Reed then walked into the room, "I think that would be for the best."

So everybody sat down at the big poker table that had be set out. And it you were curious about who sat beside who it was in a clockwise direction there was me, Spidey, Human Torch, The Thing, Beast, Strange, Cyclops, Wolverine, Capt., Thor, Reed and last but by no means least Iron Man.

"Hey, Reed where the hell are all the female super heroes? It is like a sausage fest here." I asked looking at the all the guys in the room.

"Well this is a guy's night in. so there are no female super heroes here." Reed replied.

"You are joking right. I thought that it was going to be a bitching ass party and we got drunk and we would play strip poker and then get freaky. If you know what I mean. You know like in that one episode of Family Guy were Peter was playing strip poker with the Justice League and got Wonder Woman to take off her bra and Robin was checking Peter out instead because you know Robin's gay." As I said this all the other heroes just sat there looking at me with wide confused eyes.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Iron Man asked.

"Seriously? No one has seen that episode of Family Guy. It is freaking sweet. I have it on DVD if anyone wants to borrow it."

Everybody just continued to stare at me.

Nobody spoke for a moment so I decided to break the silence, "Fine forget about strip poker and Family Guy. But if we do end up playing strip poker and things get freaky I want you all to know I don't swing that way. That is unless you give me bout ten martinis because once I have them I will let anyone do any kind of nasty thing they want me to."

Once again no one spoke for about a moment but then Wolverine spoke, "Strange can't you just sent him into another dimension or something where he will be stuck for the rest of eternity?"

"I could but I fear that he would find a way back no matter what dimension I send him to." Strange told Wolverine in a sad voice.

"You do realise that I am right here don't you?" I said.

"Yeah that is the problem." Wolverine told me while giving me the evil eyes.

"That's ok as long as we are on the same page (which we so are on this fanfic)." I said giving him the thumbs up.

But Wolverine didn't reply in that way he just instead gave me the middle claw…. JUST LIKE IN THE FILM! AND ALSO X-MEN LEGENDS 2 RISE OF APOCALYPSE THE GAME! I was so excited by that I almost wet myself and then I was also like why wasn't I in that game? I am particularly an X-Man and I am legen- wait for it- dary…. You got to love Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother. Barney Stinson for President of the Universe of Awesomeness… Well maybe Vice President after me.

"Whatever." Wolverine said then he turned and looked at Reed and asked him, "So Reed do you want to deal?"

"Sure." Reed replied as he began to shuffle the cards and then stretching his arm out as he dealt us the cards.

"Wait a second why isn't here Gambit?" I asked as I looked across the table.

"Because we didn't invite him." Reed said with a confused look on his face.

"You are joking right the one person in the whole Marvel Universe who is best known for using cards as a weapon was the one person you didn't think of inviting?" I replied in complete shock that the idea didn't occur to anyone.

"No." Reed simply said in response.

"Dam and I wanted to see him blow up a pigeon with a playing card." I said as my head sank down as I was depressed… "We haven't seen each other since X-Men Origins: Wolverine." I whispered quietly to myself.

So then after that we played a few hands of poker and oddly enough Iron Man won most of the hands. He said it was down to luck and the fact that he owned his own casino in Vegas and played with the professionals who thought him a few things. Personally I thought it was more down to the fact that he was using some piece of tech to read everyone's cards.

Then I began to get bored and suggested that we play a new game. "How bout we play something different like roulette?"

"But we don't have a roulette table." Reed explained to me.

"You don't understand we are not playing actual roulette, I mean Russian roulette." Then I took out my good old trusty six shooter magnum revolver. "Lucky for us I already only have one bullet left in it." I then spun the cartridge holder.

Everyone gave me a panicked look.

"Seriously you really are insane aren't you?" Iron Man remarked again in quite a similar way in the last chapter. Well see you next time.