Deadpool... Boredom Creates Comedy!

Chapter 9: How have we not been taken to court over copyright issues yet... Thank Thor!

Well hello once again boys and girls! Have you missed me? You have! Well don't you all live quite depressing lives... Like, come on this isn't even an actual Marvel Brand piece (but sign up to our kick starter so we can buy Marvel! All we need is a few billion and with any luck Disney will throw in Lucas film for good measure! Any one for Sith Lord Deadpool!). Now I know you are expecting Wolverine to battle me in this chapter but bad news we have come to a decision that this chapter should be used to bring you the word of our All Mighty Lord... Thor! Thou most thunderous god has given us a lovely percentage of the grossing's of his latest film so we would advertise it here! It is a very good film but my problem with it that it does not contain a lap dance from Natalie Portman, Kat Dennings or even the beast of a man Chris Hemsworth (giggity!). So if you are looking for a film that contains all of the above then watch my fan made XXX film I made with look a likes (and they are not cardboard cut outs their acting is just... wooden). Again thanks to all you gave to the kick starter to fund the film and also help me buy another pair of crotch hugging tights! Anyway I am pulling your leg... your third leg... GIGGITY! Any how here is the death match you have been waiting for between me and Wolverine!

While Wolverine was emptying his stomach of which from smell I thought was several cheap ass cheese burgers and even cheaper whiskey, I was meanwhile enjoying the National Geographic channel. For purely sexual reasons of course.

Hugh finally got his act together and came out of the bathroom...

"Finally! I thought I was going to have to start charging you rent! Took your sweet time, I was beginning to think your stomach was regenerating the contents of your stomach!" I told him this while two baboons were doing it on TV... have to admit... kinda made me want a pizza. Not sure about you but I think that isn't normal... I am sure it should make me want a nice hotdog in a nice steamy bun... no homo...

"What do you mean? I've only been in there for all of three minutes." Wolvie looked at me more confused than I was at the representation of my character in Origins.

"Well yeah it has been months upon months since our last chapter was uploaded..." I would like to inform the audience that our author finally got round to watching Toy Story 3 and he has been going through a prolonged grieving process. It got him right in his feels zone... which is right beside his friend zones.

Jackman was going to speak but then I think he remembered what was his original reason for showing up here... there was a flare of murderous intent that shined in his eyes and he suddenly leaped towards me. While he was doing so his claws came out so quick that I almost didn't dodge them in time.

"HAHAHA! Logan you are getting slow in your old but still unaging age! I totally dodged that faster than Tom Hiddleston can make fan girl flood a room!"

"You fucking idiot! He cutted off your entire right arm!"

"What? Bitch you be tripping." I said to inner monologue as I 100% totally badassly dodged Wolverine's attack.

"I am not a bitch! And that reminds one of our readers wrote in a review that I a so called prick. Well I would like to take this chance to call out this little bitch and inform him that I am not a 'prick'... I am THEE prick." Inner monologue said in his little bitch fit.

"It was not a bitch fi..."

"Bitch pleas..."

"SILENCE!"

"But..."

"I HAVE SPOKEN!"

All righty then... moving on. I looked to my right and well... yeah he was correct... there was no arm there. "NO! OLD FAPPER!" I looked at Wolverine, "How dare you! What shall I do now when I see a hot babe online! Just think I would tap that and then go on. That sir is not how this pimp rolls on the interwebz!" But then again I would save so much money with not having to buy so many tissues.

"Shut up! I didn't come here to listen you go on like the nut you are." Logan said while he was getting into another attacking position. "Seeing as you have been told to take me out I see the only way to stop that is by taking you out first bub'."

"Suppose that makes sense. And how did you find out so fast. Do you read my fan fic?" I asked Wolverine as I lifted my arm and started to put it back in its right place.

"I got connections in S.H.I.E.L.D and so I got tipped off." He swung at me and this time I really did dodge him.

"Well at least this way it saves me having to hunt you down. Know wait a second I got to make a quick call first." I took out my cell phone and went into contacts.

"Who you calling? Fury for back up." Logan said whilst giving me the crazy eye.

"No... Just using my phone a friend."

Then the land line phone in my apartment began ringing behind Logan, who turned to look at it. "You called yourself?"

"Yes... There is a reason I always answer my home phone so quickly. After several rings the place is rigged to blow up." Then right on cue the C4 I lined my apartment went off and I was flung out of my window and smacked into the wall of the building opposite and then flew down to the street.

As I got myself together in the street I looked up at what use to be my apartment... I began to tear up... there went all my awesome stuff. Well think I will end this chapter on this explosive note. See you next time loyal readers.